Hasta La Gadget!

This post originally appeared on Reductress.com.

Expectant Portland native Sarah Wexler made the request for her birth video to match the aesthetic of filmmaker Wes Anderson.

“We prefer the term birth film,” she recently told sources as she embroidered a portrait of a man on a bicycle.

After a grueling search for the perfect classically furnished hospital, the Wexlers finally found the perfect site: “It took us forever to find a hospital with wood-paneled walls, but when we saw the décor of St. Luke’s, complete with charismatic taxidermy and a view of a small lighthouse, we knew this is where we wanted to bring little Eleanor into the world.”

“I’ve already decided what our opening shot will be,” says Sarah’s husband and director, Chris. “A nurse wearing a neck bow will pass a handwritten note to another nurse wearing a similar neck bow. She opens the note. In handwritten pink-marker cursive we read: It’s time. Then we transition into a tracking shot, slowly moving left from the nurses’ station and eventually revealing the crowning.”

The birth soundtrack will consist entirely of 1960s French pop.

Sarah and her husband have budgeted accordingly to ensure the birth film is authentic, even when it comes to casting: “We both felt as though my original gynecologist didn’t fit with the tone we were going for…so we’ve cast Bill Murray as my doctor. Everyone said it was a bad idea since he has absolutely no medical experience, but we’re sure that the shot where he cuts the cord with vintage trimming sheers while smoking a corn-cob pipe will really make the film memorable for the whole family.”

With most aspects of the film confirmed, there are a few things left to determine. “The only thing we still haven’t made a decision about is Eleanor’s first outfit. Should we go coonskin cap or bright red beanie? Khaki shorts ensemble or terrycloth tennis onesie? This outfit is going to say a lot about what’s to come in the rest of her life narrative.”

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