Hasta La Gadget!

“Someday someone is going to look at you with a light in their eyes you’ve never seen, they’ll look at you like you’re everything they’ve been looking for their entire lives. Wait for it.” — Unknown, found on Rawforbeauty.com

I’ve been taking Stacey Martino’s 8-week Relationship Quick Start Program. Stacey taught me that according to Human Needs Psychology, there are 6 fundamental human needs that must be met by your partner for your relationship to truly soar. And while my ex and I struggled to meet any of these 6 needs with each other, the one I had the hardest time accepting was that he wasn’t meeting my need for love and connection.

I always dreamed of feeling a deep soul connection with my partner. But I didn’t; never really did. Didn’t even know it was possible. I thought that kind of love was fiction — it made for a great romance novel, but didn’t happen in real life. And then I started meeting couples who seemed to embody this and it made me sad because I knew in my heart it wasn’t possible for me to achieve that kind of love with my ex. There was one particular couple we met while on our last vacation together that really hit it home for me. They were so connected, so in love; we weren’t and hadn’t been for a long time. That’s when I finally admitted to myself that we weren’t going to make it.

What I craved in my marriage, what I had been missing for 40 years — long before my divorce — was intimacy.

Into Me You See.

And isn’t that what we all want? Someone who sees the real us – behind the facade – and still sticks around. Someone who gets us, likes and accepts us despite of – or perhaps because of – our foibles. Someone who is always there when we need a shoulder to cry on. Someone who has our back. Someone who can genuinely say, “I see you, the real you, and I love you.”

Into Me You See.

I didn’t feel that way with my ex. Didn’t feel seen, loved for who I was. But it wasn’t my ex’s fault. It was mine. I wouldn’t let him in, wouldn’t let him see the real me. It was too risky, too vulnerable. It was easier to keep my guard up, to try to be the woman he wanted me to be. I wouldn’t get hurt that way. Occasionally I tried to let him see the real me, but that never went well. He wasn’t used to the real me and so when I tried to be my authentic self, I felt rejected, not seen or heard, not valued. So I hid my true self from him, from my friends and colleagues, from me. I thought it was easier that way – to live someone else’s life, be who someone else wanted you to be. I was the ultimate people pleaser, you see.

But what I came to realize this past Spring was that intimacy must start with my relationship with myself. Before friends, before loved ones, before a romantic partner. Because if I don’t “see into me,” how can I expect someone else to?

And so I started cultivating that intimacy with myself. Starting journaling about what I wanted, who I was, what I loved about myself, my body. And you know what happened? This elusive intimacy found me. In me. In my friends. In my boyfriend. And I feel loved, valued, respected, and truly accepted for who I am. I can speak in my truth. I can be me and not worry about what other people might think. Who cares? If they See me, they’ll love me for who I am anyway.

Into Me You See.

So if you too are seeking elusive intimacy, I encourage you to ask yourself: What do I see when I look inside myself? Dive in. You might be surprised at what you find and what happens after you go there.

America is all about life, liberty and the pursuit of one’s personal version of happiness and in today’s politically correct world, few places express the founders’ original ideals like Hot Rod shows.

The Central Coast of California has become a stomping ground for Hot Rod enthusiasts and every year Hot Rodders descend upon small towns and turn them into a walk on the wild side. If one asks what makes a Hot Rod Show so hot, the word “extreme” is the first superlative that comes to mind.

Hot Rods are mostly low rider, “souped-up” American cars from the 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. However, they are not just ultra fast, restored antique cars with their exterior panels removed. In fact, they are carefully designed to show off their chromed mechanical components, thus, their outer likeness to the original vehicles becomes somewhat superficial.

Interiors are often stripped to the bare minimum, exposing the steel frame and bodywork and Hot Rods then effectively become a caricature of the original automobile they were made to resemble. Safety in the context of Hot Rods is an oxymoron, since Hot Rods have no airbags or interior padding, no crash zone and only the most rudimentary and symbolic bumpers.

What they lack in safety they make up for in power. Exposed engine blocks, with chrome plated manifolds and exhaust pipes popping out in the most unusual places.

And how about that paint job? Since decoration is such a big part of the Hot Rod looks, flames, skulls, cowboy graphics and American icons are plastered all over their luminescent bodies, to make them stand out in a crowd.

Assembly quality is not standard, with large tolerances and gaps that seem devoted to the inch system rather than to the standard automotive metric system. Seams and parts do not necessarily line up, just as in the old days before the Japanese Total Quality wave swept through US car manufacturing. Door hinges are exposed and accessories have a distinctly disconnected and bolted on quality to them. Somehow though, it all seems to come together in one holistic statement of “built tough.”

Hot Rods are definitely head turners and can bring a nostalgic smile to anyone’s face. When seen humming along on the freeway, they express a relaxed, casual joy of life. A special dress code seems to go along with the Hot Rod look, with men and women dressed in black, wearing black sunglasses and shorts or short dresses, with their arms covered in gothic tattoos.

Heavily modified by their owners, these highly expressive objects of art stand in stark contrast to mass manufactured, environmentally responsible, foreign imports. Do they express a nostalgic longing for past American glory, as in “rebels without a cause?” Or, are Hot Rods simply expensive toys and the American version of an Italian Ferrari? If you have yet to attend a Hot Rod show, this can be your official invitation and passport to California’s Central Coast in the summertime.

The USB Fish Cord from Maywa Denki features eyes that glow when the cable’s in use and comes in three color choices to complement any tech workspace’s décor scheme.

Airbags certainly do save lives, but getting hit in the face at 200 mph—even by a bag of air—is not without its consequences. A teenage girl in Michigan got a real eyeful when an inflating airbag actually left its mesh pattern on the surface of her eye.

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