For Six Days, I Almost Had HIV

As a woman with an (un)healthy suspicion of all men, I get tested for STDs pretty regularly. Last fall, what started as girl talk and gossip on a Saturday after brunch gradually evolved into a discussion about acidic fear of STDs. My brunch companion suddenly announced an urgent need to get checked, and I — confident about my health — was more than willing to schedule an appointment alongside her. Since health care eluded me last fall, I kept my free clinic appointment even when my friend canceled hers.

They played The Goonies in the waiting room of Planned Parenthood. I silently chuckled to myself as I realized that every eye would rather watch the screen than catch another. Every other seat was filled with 20-somethings, their eyes following the boobie traps that sideswiped the boys on TV and almost sank them to their doom.

In the exam room, I smiled at the nurse in gentle pink and white scrubs, my hands folded patiently. A cheek swab was taken for a rapid oral HIV test, my cells off to represent me. I had waited longer in the exam room than the room meant for waiting by the time the nurse came back.

I assumed she’d bring news that would have me out the door and back to Berkeley in no time. Then again, I’m an optimist. A cynical optimist, but an optimist all the same.

“So I have the preliminary results of your rapid test and they came back positive… “

“What?”

Panic. Storm. Nightmare fog. Gray and icy shards of memory of every condom I’d ever used.

“What?” I asked again.

All I heard was “positive,” “not conclusive,” “send blood to the lab,” “HIV positive.

You’re a ghost of yourself when things that happen to other people suddenly happen to you.

“I know you said you’re pretty safe…”

I scoffed. I’d have told her I was always safe if not for the current state of things.

“… but you said there was one person you thought might be suspect, what makes you think that?”

“Because he’s a dirty punk!”

There I was, yelling at the nurse at Planned Parenthood about dirty punk kids.

“I’m sorry,” I told her through tears in a contorted apology. “You’re being really nice, I just… don’t know what to do.”

My blood was drawn, tainted blood, and sent off to a lab for a conclusive answer. The future of my stability had been shipped and packaged like rations to a vampiric deity.

My test had come back with what they call a “preliminary positive.” Rapid oral tests produce false positives something like two — up to four in some reports — out of a thousand times.

“Two out of a thousand” was not the calming mantra the nurse intended it to be. It only fueled my steaming fear and helpless desire to punch that kind, kind woman in her happy, fleshy, HIV-negative face.

I could barely bring myself to type in “HIV positive” into the Google search engine once I got home. Having to search for help in a real-life situation rather than in a hypothetical one made the severity of my possible condition feel achingly real.

I wondered if this diagnosis would be the end of my already short run with romance. I looked up stories about couples with at least one partner living with HIV-happy couples, people who weren’t denying the struggle but making the struggle seem livable. I wondered what I would tell people. How would I explain? Once I’d cleared the pages upon pages of sites with alarmingly scary statistics, the electric terror began to subside. What was left inside my hollow being was a pinpoint of light and a voice that said, This is how I’ll know who my real friends are. And that didn’t seem so bad. This was cynical optimism at its finest: expecting a dark fate and making the best of it

The next Sunday I called Planned Parenthood. I had an appointment for the following day, but I couldn’t wait — I needed to talk to someone now. I hadn’t told anyone but my best friend about the preliminary test, and I couldn’t sew composure on my face any longer. I gave my name and my files were searched. The woman on the phone was answering too brightly for my shadowy disposition.

“Oh! Looks like your lab results came back…”

Every atom ceased to stir.

“… negative.

The cogs began to spin again, and warm breath blew out of a body that had laid still for six days. I asked the woman on the phone to repeat herself twice.

Six days. For six days, I almost had HIV. Nothing was more scary, nothing shook me more than that limbo state. True, I was never really at high risk of contraction, but rational reasoning goes out the door when you’re told preliminarily that your entire timeline could be skewed so far off the map that there’s no recognition of the future you’d imagined.

For a while I was angry that so many false positives were allowed to exist. But the rapid testing does provide something valuable: hurried relief. Or a hurried answer to a burning question that allows for immediate action to be taken.

I’m more frustrated about the way we talk about sex — and its consequences. We live in a media-driven world where sex sells, and though we’re theoretically more comfortable now than ever before when discussing free love and sexuality, it’s still uncool and taboo to talk about the fact that over 1.1 million people in the U.S. alone have HIV. On top of that, one in six people don’t even know they have it. And with approximately one in four new infections occurring in people under the age of 24, why take chances and try to YOLO your way out of being safe? People generally don’t love the traditional condom, but new condoms like this and this are being tested, and they could revolutionize the way we think about, talk about and have safe sex.

This is not a happy story, despite my ultimately happy ending. It’s just real talk from someone who’s fed up with hiding under the covers to avoid grown-up conversations about the birds and the bees. It’s time to talk about the real monsters hiding under the bed.

This story first appeared on Ravishly.com

Taking the Hate Out of Work

“Work without love is slavery.” — Mother Teresa

Why You Hate Work” was the eye-catching title of an op-ed in the New York Times several weeks ago. The phrase really bothered me, I guess because what the article had to say was right on the money. However, in addition to citing numerous research data that support the hyperbole of the title, the authors provide a list of sound solutions to meet the challenges discussed.

The lead author Tony Schwartz is CEO of The Energy Project, a consulting firm that specializes in helping companies increase employee engagement, or as I like to call it Employment Enjoyment. They open with a heart-chilling statement that all too many people can relate to:

“The Way we’re working isn’t working. Even if you’re lucky enough to have a job, you’re probably not very excited to get to the office in the morning, you don’t feel much appreciated while you’re there, you find it difficult to get your most important work accomplished, amid all the distractions, and you don’t believe what you’re doing makes much of a difference anyway. By the time you get home, you’re pretty much running on empty, and yet still answering emails until you fall asleep.”

Wow, what a commentary on our work-life relationship! Their research consistently shows that increasing numbers of not only middle managers, but top-level executives as well, are feeling these same pangs of exasperation and frustration. They reference a study by a clinical psychiatrist at Harvard Medical School whose research focuses on employee burnout. In his recent study of 72 senior leaders, he found that every one of them reported signs of burnout.

As I have pointed out in previous discussions of employee engagement, only 21 percent of employees in the western world are engaged in their work. Globally, according to numerous Gallop poles, the number drops to an unbelievable 13 percent! That’s a tragedy, as it says that the vast majority of people are not even close to reaching their human potential. Schwartz and Porath conclude that “For most of us, work is a depleting, dispiriting experience, and in some obvious ways, it’s getting worse.”

Much of the problem is due to the ever increasing demand on employees’ time, taking most of them into a space where it exceeds their capacity and therefore the where-with-all to truly access their innate talents and achieve an end result that is beneficial to the company, to the customer and to them. Why is this is happening?

First, we have become a global community with business competition never as fierce as it is today. Second, subsequent to the financial crisis, there isn’t an industry that hasn’t reduced its workforce by one means or another, and yet, the demand on employees has increased. And third, although stellar growth of digital technology has provided ready access to endless information, and in some cases, even access to wisdom and knowledge, we are constantly overwhelmed with our hyperspace connectivity. Sometimes we just feel emailed to death!

What’s the path out of this conundrum? The need for employees to be more efficient and do more in less time and with fewer resources will not go away any time soon. How do we deal with this in a way that not only gets the job done well, but also provides value and fulfillment to employees? The Energy Project has some concrete suggestions.

In a joint study with the Harvard Business Review of 12,000 white-collar workers across a broad range of companies and industries, they found the following outcomes to be nearly irrespective of industry or company. Employees are more fulfilled and productive when four core needs are met:

1. Spiritual — First and foremost, doing more of what they do best and like to do, and feeling connected to a higher purpose. In my book BALANCE: The Business-Life Connection, I say they have found their innate Essence and connected it with a Need in the world that makes it a better place. They are working at their Life Purpose. That leads to Gratitude, which is always a source of long-term Fulfillment. The spiritual core need is the strongest factor in increasing employee job satisfaction and company loyalty. It’s simple. It starts with the leadership team. If they are energized by the vision and mission of the company, their very actions spread like a viral contagion. Everyone wants to be part of a dream that makes the world a better place. Thus, the leadership and the employees become much more engaged when their work provides them with opportunity to make a positive difference in the world.

2. Mental — Focusing deeply on their most important tasks and defining when, where and how they get their work done. They don’t want to be distracted by endless and often useless poorly managed meetings. This is most often a trust challenge for employers. We have been educated and programmed with the “nose to grindstone” model. If an employer cannot see an employee working hard and long hours on the shop floor, he wonders whether the employee is truly working and contributing. The more effective channel to engagement is to provide the employee with a task and timing for delivery and then let him or her, within negotiated reason, decide where and how to get it done best for the company. The quality and quantity of the output should be the measure of performance and not physical observation of long hours of effort.

3. Emotional — Let’s face it, we all want to be loved. Feeling valued and appreciated for their contributions by management and their peers is a powerful driving force for all employees. Study after study over the years tells us that after a certain level of financial reward, feeling a sense of appreciation and value is the most important motivator for employees. Have a sense of caring by the employee’s supervisor increases their level of engagement and loyalty to their company.

4. Physical — Opportunities to renew and recharge while at work. Every two to three hours of intense effort, this could take the form of a 15-miute walk around the block or the building, a brief meditation, or even a 10-minute catnap. For example, The Energy Project study found that employees who take a break every 90 minutes of intense work achieve 30 percent higher levels of focus than those who take just one break during the day. They also report 50 percent greater capacity to think creatively and 46 percent increase in a sense of well-being. When employees work well beyond the normal 40-hour work week, their efficiency drops substantially and they feel less engaged. At Catalytica Pharmaceuticals, a company my colleagues and I built in less than 5 years from 5 people to 2,000 people and a billion-dollar publicly-traded enterprise, we had a mediation room, which was used frequently by employees to recharge and renew their creativity. It works!

This research shows that the more each of these four core needs is met, the more productive, loyal and satisfied are the employees. And, when employee performance escalates, a positive impact is felt on the bottom line, as well. Employees are significantly more engaged.

Schwartz and Porath remind us of a well-known study carried out by the Gallop organization. In a 2012 meta-analysis of 263 research programs involving 192 companies, Gallop found that companies in the top quartile of engaged companies, when compared with the bottom quartile, had 22 percent higher profitability, 10 percent higher customer ratings, 28 percent less theft and 48 percent fewer safety incidents.

Finally, a word about trust as it pertains to Employment Enjoyment. Trust is the most reliable predictor of employee satisfaction, productivity and engagement. Inspired leaders know this and behave in a way that demonstrates complete trust. In my work over the years in founding and leading the growth of companies, I have found four company values that imbue trust throughout the company.

1. Be sure that all employees know that what they are doing is contributing in some way to a better world. It often is the case, but if not articulated clearly, employees may not recognize the value of their efforts.

2. Assure that all employees know and understand the overall strategy of the company.

3. Create the means for employees to clearly see how their efforts directly contribute to the corporate strategy.

4. Provide periodic feedback to all employees as to the company’s progress and the impact of their efforts.

The implications here are that you can’t command enthusiasm, creativity and passion. These are gifts that employees bring to work every day. They use these gifts if and only if they are engaged. Engaged employees, in fact, engaged people in general love to serve. Engagement was an option in the past; now and for the foreseeable future it’s an absolute necessity for long-term profitability and success.

Employee engagement is a powerful force. When accessed by the core needs mentioned above, even though employees are working with fewer resources and expected to deliver more, there is a remarkable triple win. Employees produce more, finds greater fulfillment, the company profits increase, and the world becomes a better place in which to live.

It’s simple human physics. When employee engagement climbs from 20 to say 60 percent, the employee is three times more productive and a happy camper, as well. Everybody wins. This is the only way in which companies can succeed for the long run under more demanding criteria. What are you waiting for?

How to Bounce Back From Burning Out

Summer 2013, Gaslight Coffee Roasters, Chicago, Illinois: I’m sitting staring at a computer screen, again. I’m exhausted, again. I feel like absolute shit incarnate.

I just spent the last year listening to these kinds of questions:

“How’s that whole writing thing coming along?”

“Have you thought about part-time work?”

“Don’t you have student loans to pay though?” Continue Reading…

Rich People Don't Put Money in Jars

Lottery winners, athletes and other instant millionaires, who haven’t adopted the strategies of the wealthy, often find themselves broke within a few years of their windfall. Meanwhile, many European royals and American aristocrats preserve their estates through the centuries. What do the wealthy know that you don’t?

Here are 10 ways that rich people think differently than you do.

1. Rich people don’t put their money in jars.
2. Rich people think about earning money before paying bills.
3. Protecting your principal is paramount.
4. Take advantage of free money.
5. Compound gains at 10 percent.
6. Stop making everyone else rich.
7. Self-insure.
8. You’re the CEO; Your CFP works for you.
9. Throwing money at problems is the wrong answer.
10. Tax strategies.

And here are the two cents on the details…

1. Rich people don’t put their money in jars. Rich people deposit their money into as many tax-protected and financial-predator-proof, protected accounts as possible. Why? To reduce their tax burden. To compound their gains at a lower (or free) tax rate. To prevent their own hands from dipping into the jar. And to ensure that if anyone in the family has a lawsuit, the estate is protected from any judgment. (In the U.S., your retirement plans are protected from everyone and everything. That’s how O.J. Simpson played golf and lived in a beautiful home in Florida, even when he owed $33 million to the Goldman family and hadn’t paid a cent to them.)

2. Rich people think about earning money before paying bills. Do you worry about your bills incessantly? If you were to add up the amount of time you spend earning income, and thinking of ways to increase your passive and active earned income, would it dwarf the amount of time that you spend worrying about bills and worrying about the economy? Or does fear give you paralysis by over-analysis — keeping you from doing anything to improve your situation? Do you look for solutions to your challenges, educate yourself on how to improve your earning potential (in both passive and active income) and get smart about protecting your assets?

3. Protecting your principal is paramount. Wealthy people lease their real estate instead of selling it. They preserve their capital instead of “reaching for yield.” They don’t lend money to people who have no hope of paying it back. And, they base their annual budget on the returns they make on their investments, rather than depleting their retirement accounts and trusts to pay down their mortgage and credit card debt.

4. Take advantage of free money. When you can borrow in the low single digits, that is almost free money. Instead of paying off your home or all of your student loans early, start focusing on reducing the interest to four percent or lower and compounding your investment gains at 10 percent or higher. The power of compounding is why you need to save and invest now, even if you have debt, and why you should think about ROI before paying everything off. Remember. If you deposit 10 percent of your income into a tax-protected retirement account, and that earns a 10 percent annualized gain, you’ll have more money than you earn within seven years, and your money will make more than you do within 25 years.

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5. Compound gains at 10 percent. I had a friend who had a windfall of a million dollars. She wanted to pay off $100,000 in debt and then learn how to invest the rest. I said, “Why do you want to go from being a millionaire to a thousandaire?” Rich people think about paying off $100,000 debt with the 10 percent interest that they will earn on a million dollars — in one year. Check out the chart below, which shows clearly that 10 percent is exactly what stocks and bonds have done over the 30-year period.

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Over the last five years, NASDAQ has more than tripled, going from 1372 to 4397.93. That is a gain of 38 percent every year!

Performance the Nasdaq Composite Index
March 2009 to June 26, 2014
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Source: Money.MSN.com. Used with permission from Microsoft.

6. Stop making everyone else rich. Most people buy a car, get a job, get a home, get insurance, turn up the air conditioning and run out of money before the end of the month. You might think that rich people just have it easier because they have more money. However, the truth is that anyone can live a richer life if they start thinking more strategically. Healthy people can cut their health insurance in half with a Health Savings Account and a high deductible health insurance plan. Commuters can slash their gasoline bills by riding a bike or buying a hybrid or an electric car. Everyone can save (up to 90 percent) on their energy bills with a few smart, low cost conservation tricks.

7. Self-Insure. Are your life insurance payments killing your budget? Is your annuity really as safe as you have been led to believe? Most of us, outside of the few unlucky who will die early, can build up a far more secure future by having a solid investment plan, an informed will and tax-protected retirement accounts than we can by making the insurance companies rich.

8. You’re the CEO; Your CFP works for you. Rich people hire specialists and hold them accountable. Do you consider your CFP and CPA your friends? Or are you the CEO of your life, hiring financial experts to work for you? Do your CPA and CFP provide you with a rationale for their investing strategy and quarterly reports on their returns?

9. Throwing money at problems is the wrong answer. Rather than thinking money can solve all of the problems of friends and family, legacy wealth understands that writing a check is rarely the right answer. In The Queen of Versailles, Jackie Siegel gives thousands of dollars to a friend to try and save her home from foreclosure. The bank happily took the money and then just foreclosed on the home a few months later. So, who was Jackie really helping? Her friend, or the bank? If Jackie really wanted to help, she would have helped her friend design a better life plan, rather than giving her a few months extension on something that was bound to fail.

10. Tax strategies. By now you have heard that Warren Buffett and Mitt Romney pay less in taxes (on a percentage basis) than their secretaries. How? Long-term capital gains are taxed at 20 percent, or lower in some cases, including no capital gains in qualified retirement accounts. So, if you’re earning every penny you make, and getting taxed above 20 percent, then you are definitely working too hard. It’s time to learn how to make money while you sleep.

Bites and Sounds of the Season at the Fifth Annual Saveur Summer BBQ

Summer barbecue conjures up images of grilled cuts of meat, cold cans of beer, and loud blasts of music. All these were present at Saveur’s Fifth Annual Summer BBQ at the Boat Basin Café, but with a touch of fabulousness.

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Instead of plain hamburger and cheap beer, guests enjoyed a mix of surf and turf with entrees that ranged from grilled lamb sliders and beef kabobs to vanilla-glazed salmon and barbecued octopus, while sipping on fancy cocktails, wine, and beer from an open bar.

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The night also included a DJ playing the hottest hits of the season, a photo booth and a #selfie wall, and a beautiful view of the sunset along the Hudson River.

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The crowds packed the outdoor stage area of the Boat Basin Café’s at this sold-out event. Upon entering the venue, I was greeted by the wafting smell of Iraqi Yellow Spice-Rubbed Chicken from Saveur Test Kitchen. The chicken was grilled to perfection, with the crispiness of the charcoaled skin balancing well with the juicy and tender meat inside. The dish was served with tabbouleh, herbed red onion pickles, and a slice of pita bread with a drizzle of basil pesto.

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A couple tables down, Sean Rembold of Reynard at the Wythe Hotel served what looked like a hotdog, but with a twist. His bite-size Seafood Boudin Blanc topped with bacon bits, pickled cabbage, and a bed of salmon roe on a house-made brioche bun that has been rubbed with avocado aioli had a burst of flavors.

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I then took a trip to Italy to try Jonathan Benno and Richard Capizzi of Lincoln Ristorante’s Paccheri Pasta with Grilled Pork Spareribs. The highlight of this perfectly al dente pasta in the shape of big, flattened round tubes was the pork spareribs, which came off the bone so easily and just melted in my mouth.

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My favorite dish at the BBQ also happened to be the simplest — a traditional New England Clam Bake by Joey Campanaro of The Little Owl and Mike Price of The Clam. An ensemble of steamed littleneck clams, mussels, shrimps, corn on the cob, and potatoes steamed in a savory jus was served pile high with a generous scoop of butter. Every bite of the seafood exuded lemon zest jus all over my mouth like an explosion.

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Other savory dishes prepared by the star-studded lineup of chefs included Amanda Freitag of Empire Diner’s Grilled Lamb Slider with green goddess dressing and grilled tomato chutney on brioche sider bun (the lamb was slightly overcooked and dry), Marc Meyer of Cookshop’s Little Picnic Box containing BBQ chicken wings with jalapeno coleslaw and BBQ potato chips (the chips got soggy too quickly), and Roberto Caporuscio of Don Antonio’s Sorrentina Pizza topped with smoked buffalo mozzarella, sliced lemons, and basil (the thin crust was chewy in the middle and crispy on the edges with some burnt bits).

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A meal would be incomplete if it didn’t end on a sweet note. I loved Dana Cree of Blackbird’s Cinnamon Concha. By itself, concha, or shell-shaped Mexican sweet bread, can be a bit bland and dry. But Cree paired this playful dessert with luscious roasted strawberries and airy whipped goat cheese for the perfect dosage of sweetness and moistness.

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Towards the end of the dinner service, the all-star chefs who dished up delicious food to the guests at the event gathered for a group photo in front of Le Creuset’s Selfie Wall. I, of course, seized this opportunity to snag a selfie shot with the chefs in the background!

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With savory and sweet bites from the country’s hottest chefs, refreshing drinks, and upbeat music, Saveur Summer BBQ was a great way to kick off the season. As James Oseland, the editor-in-chief of Saveur, aptly described how this year’s event stood out from those of previous years, “[The BBQ] is more fabulous every year.” If that is the case, then I am already looking forward to the event in 2015!

Photo courtesy of Ang Snaps Photography

Top 7 Most Addictive Unhealthy Foods

By Caroline Young

Unhealthy Foods

Whether it’s on a giant billboard, in a cheesy commercial, or filling a glossy page of a magazine, unhealthy temptation surrounds us every day.

Typically, frequently-advertised foods are the very ones we crave: foods high in ingredients like sugar, fat, and salt. Specifically, fast food restaurants’ advertisements and menus send environmental cues, which can trigger addictive overeating. Highly-processed fast food can become a craving, which is seen in statistics of obesity.

But just what makes certain ingredients so addicting? Why does it feel like we need more and more of them, the more we eat them?

1) Processed Baked Goods

Unhealthy Foods

Eating just one Oreo seems like it is just not an option. But why? Studies show an ingredient in many baked goods, High-Fructose Corn Syrup, can actually cause reactions similar to those made by drug abuse. When a sweet craving hits, opt for a more nutrient-dense snack like berries or another fruit with some cinnamon on top of oatmeal. And you may want to think twice about adding artificial sweeteners to your cup of coffee, because chances are, it may lead to greater sugar cravings later.

2) Soda With Caffeine

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Soda’s combination of sugar or high-fructose corn syrup, with caffeine, is the perfect addictive recipe. The caffeine goes directly into your bloodstream and blocks adenosine receptors, stimulating the adrenal gland to produce the flight or fight chemical adrenaline, which gives people a feeling of energy. In so many words, the body is being forced into an unnatural state that often leaves it exhausted later. And it’s easy to forget when you’re drinking a coke that you’re drinking tons of calories and sugar too. Only one can of Coke has 11 teaspoons of sugar. Acidic soda can also eat up and erode teeth enamel. If gaining weight and decaying teeth isn’t enough reason to avoid soda, the over consumption of soda can cause psychological effects. Studies show drinking too much of a caffeinated soft drink has actually caused or amplified a patient’s mental disorder symptoms.

3) White Bread

white bread

Do you wonder why it’s hard to steer clear of the breadbasket when you’re out at dinner? When it comes down to it, any processed and high-glycemic carbohydrates, like white breads, are hard to stop eating and make us crave more. One study shows people who consume more nutrient dense, low-glycemic carbs are less likely to overeat. Examples of lower-glycemic foods are most fruit, beans, and whole grains, which release glucose more slowly into the bloodstream, and helps to balance blood sugar and fat storage.

4) Potato Chips

Potato Chips

Potato chips are high in salt and fat. When we bite into a greasy, fatty potato chip, our nerve endings send signals, which travel up to the pleasure center — the hypothalamus — of our brains. We eventually overload the pleasure center, and crash. Then, we want more, more, more. Even the “healthier” chips, like baked veggie chips, are usually high in fat. Instead, snacking on foods like baked kale “chips” is a better option when you have a hankering for a salty and crunchy snack.

5) Highly-Processed Meat

Cold cuts like ham and bologna, hot dogs, bacon, and sausage are all — yet again — jam-packed with salt and also various chemicals like sodium nitrates. Many of them also contain tons of preservatives and lots of fat. Specifically, hot dogs and sausage can contain up to 23 grams of fat. Consider fresh meats, like skinless poultry and roast beef instead.

6) French Fries

We all know it’s hard to just eat a couple of French fries, especially when we need that salty fix. That salt in those fried potato sticks is precisely what keeps us hooked, and always wanting more. One study reveals that sodium intake creates sensitivity to dopamine, a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s pleasure centers. There is actually a connection between salt and addiction-related pathways in the brain. In fact, the same gene group that regulates your appetite for salt also regulates cocaine and heroin addictions.

7) Ice Cream

Also full of fat, calories, sugar, and often the addictive high-fructose corn syrup, ice cream can be difficult to portion. Realistically, we’re not going to eat a half-cup of ice cream, which is the typical serving size for grocery store ice cream brands, like Ben & Jerry’s and Haagen-Dazs. For example, a half-cup of Haagen-Dazs White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle has 18 grams of fat, 310 calories, and 28 grams of sugar. Most people will eat at least one cup of ice cream at a time, doubling all of those numbers. Instead, go for Greek yogurt and fruit, or frozen grapes, or frozen bananas. And if you must have the ice cream, consider the lower-fat and lower-calorie ice cream at the store.

The foods on this list are calorie-dense, lack nutritional value, and can be addictive. While most of us indulge in these foods every once in a while, if you find yourself constantly craving these addictive foods, consider writing down the situations when you start craving them. Where are you? What do you see? Do you smell something? What time is it? Becoming more aware of why you get cravings can help you make very positive changes to your eating habits

What do you think is the most addictive unhealthy food?

More From BuiltLean:

Are Hunger Hormones Making You Hungry?
7 Simple Tips To Control Hunger
8-Week Workout Program For Burning Fat

For more articles and videos, visit BuiltLean, or join the conversation at our Facebook page.

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'X-Men: Apocalypse' Director Leaks Script Image

On Monday, “X-Men” director Bryan Singer took to Instagram to post a teaser for “X-Men Apocalypse,” the next installment in the franchise.

With “X-Men: Days of Future Past” still surging through the box office, already grossing more than $712 million, Singer is wasting no time getting fans excited for the follow-up.

The director’s Instagram post featured what appears to be the partial first page from the “Apocalypse” script:

(Story continues below.)

While the photo offers few plot details, it contains a mention of the Four Horsemen characters. In the comics, the Horsemen are mutants who either volunteer or are brainwashed by the villain Apocalypse to do his evil bidding. Each of these characters takes the name of one of the biblical four horsemen of the apocalypse: Death, War, Famine and Pestilence.

Fans of the comics will note that one of Apocalypse’s Horsemen is the mutant Angel, played onscreen by Ben Foster in “X-Men: Last Stand.” There’s no word yet on whether or not Foster will reprise the role in “X-Men Apocalypse.”

Screen Crush notes that the Horsemen were teased in the “Days of Future Past” end-credit scene, which showed Apocalypse in his younger days in Egypt, accompanied by four hooded figures on horseback.

“X-Men: Apocalypse” is scheduled for a 2016 release.

Empire's Age-Old Aim: Wealth and Power

In his very excellent book, King Leopold’s Ghost, Adam Hochschild registers a chapter-long lament near the book’s end that even though in the preceding pages he has chronicled in an unprecedented manner the crimes against humanity of Leopold’s Congo enterprise, so what? Such crimes were almost a concomitant of colonial empire. Britain, France, Germany, the United States — all the so-called civilized colonial powers — were guilty of such crimes. Whether murder and plunder in India, slaughter in Algeria, devastation in Cameroon, or torture and massacre in the Philippines, few western powers can rightfully claim innocence. And, perhaps most worrisome, their national myths mask or even convert most of the crimes, and what the myths don’t eliminate or alter poor education and memory lapses do.

Surely, however, at this opening to the 21st Century, we have made some progress. Our constant rhetoric — particularly from Washington — asserts that we have. International criminal justice and human rights are pursued with relish, are they not?

Not according to the example of Richard Bruce Cheney. As has been the case since humankind began to organize itself, Dick Cheney believes that wealth and power — his and his cronies wealth and power foremost — are still the relevant strategic objectives of empire. King Leopold of Belgium is not dead, simply reincarnated in a more modern form. Torturing people is dependent on a nation’s supposed needs, killing people on the expediency of policy, waging war on monetary and commercial gain, and lying to the people is a highly reputable tactic in pursuit of each. Leopold would love Dick Cheney.

Cheney even models Leopold: never in the dangerous fray himself (five draft deferments, e.g.), a master of bureaucratic manipulation and intrigue, in love to a fault with secrecy, willing to undertake any crime under the sun so long as it leads to profit, deeply relishing every moment of evil he is able to engineer, and a master of masking it all through adroit, politically-attuned public relations aimed at people too stupid to question him — all while paying absolutely no attention to what his past clearly demonstrates he has done, thus thoroughly frustrating the decent folks all around him. Leopold to a “T.”

This modern man, Cheney, however needs no kingship, no ornate palaces, no personally-owned colony like the Congo; Cheney’s writ is the world. It is all of humankind that Cheney would torture, enslave, murder, or plunder if it were required. And Cheney is the ultimate arbiter of whether it is required. Take a look at that face as he tells the American people and the world in 2002 that “Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction. There is no doubt he is amassing them to use against our friends, against our allies, and against us.”

Now, wait a dozen years and envision the same face, somewhat leaner and — if possible — meaner, saying on the editorial pages of his Journal as Iraq implodes: “Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many.” He is of course talking about President Obama, not President George W. Bush. Leopold, whom the American poet Vachel Lindsay, has “Burning in Hell…”, must be yearning for Dick’s arrival because no one, except perhaps for Leopold himself, would register such a claim in the face of such self-demeaning evidence to the contrary.

In the same chapter of his book referenced above, Hochschild writes: “The Congo offers a striking example of the politics of forgetting.” He is right. But it is more than forgetting. It is an abject lack of political courage to hold people accountable.

In King Leopold’s case, Belgium and the wider world want to move on and not look back. Holding people accountable would mean holding themselves accountable. That central Africa is today still an unfolding tragedy of exploitation, commercial rivalries, and indigenous incapacity partly an inheritance of colonialism, matters little. The world moves on relentlessly to fulfill its oligarchies’ desires for wealth and power. Suitable rhetoric is developed and delivered to keep the masses quiescent. The Leopolds and Cheneys of the world are privately lauded for their hard-headed realpolitik while appropriately tut-tutted in public. Presidents and prime ministers proclaim that it would be nationally disruptive to hold people accountable for their crimes and, besides, they are more concerned for the future than the past.

Which is why most people in America today live in the moment and in the moment alone. If they realized and cared about the past, if they used that realization and care to make the future better, they would not be able to live in the moment so well. In that respect, Leopold and Cheney are right: wealth and power is all that matters.

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Lawrence Wilkerson is Visiting Professor of Government and Public Policy at the College of William and Mary. He was Chief of Staff to secretary of state Colin Powell from 2002-2005. He served 31 years in the U.S. Army.

VapeXhale Cloud Evo Review: Putting the Zen Back in Home Vaporizing

VapeXhale Cloud Evo Review: Putting the Zen Back in Home Vaporizing

With their flashing lights, roaring fans, and Blade Runner-esque designs, a lot of tabletop vapes these days place more emphasis on maintaining hyper-precise temperature gradients than in providing a relaxing and enjoyable user experience. The new Cloud Evo takes a refreshingly zen approach.

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