Hasta La Gadget!

Sometimes the third bottle drains all discretion. Here are 21 things women do only when drinking wine with other women:

1. Switch the definition of words typically in our grasp, like “indigent” and “indigenous.”

2. Contemplate a drastic hair color change for summer that we’ll never follow through with.

3. Decide to sell Stella + Dot.

4. Convince one another of celebrities we would be instant BFFs with, if only we had the opportunity to meet. Common victims include Gwyneth Paltrow, Beyoncé, Andy Cohen, Emma Stone, Mindy Kaling, Ellen and that girl from Rich Kids of Beverly Hills.

5. Watch the “How To Tell If You’re A Basic Bitch” video. Over and over.

6. Make brunch plans the next day no one has any intention of keeping.

7. Swear by the effectiveness of the 7 Minute Workout. Offer helpful
demos to prove it.

8. Extol the virtues of rompers.

9. Gossip viciously, often reaching the pinnacle of behind-the-back insulting. “She’s just not a girls’ girl.”

10. Admit to a friend you hated her when you first met. But then she grew on you.

11. Make insincere promises of services to one another. “I’ll totally do your closet — it will make such a difference.” “My dad’s a lawyer. He’ll review the contract for you and take that guy to the bank. For free!”

12. Bore one another with stories of weird dreams.

13. Create the dream cast of Real Housewives — geographic location and year of tenure doesn’t matter!

14. Take the perfect group selfie for Instagram but never post it due to the inability to think of a clever hashtag. (The next morning, think of dozens of options.)

15. Reminisce about Gossip Girl.

16. Lie about frequency of barre class attendance.

17. Vow to finally take that group vacation. “I don’t have the money for it, or the days off of work, and I’m not sure who will watch my baby, but I deserve a girls’ trip.”

18. Defend drastic hair highlighting regimen, saying, “I was blonde as a kid.”

19. Admit our inner Samantha. Tell stories we’ll immediately regret to prove it.

20. Frequently start sentences with, “OK, you have to promise not to say anything, but…”

21. Decide to start a book club. A “serious” one this time.

22. Pledge allegiance to Jenna Lyons.

23. Vow to start a juice cleanse. Next week.

24. Sing “Let It Go.” Trash talk Taye Diggs for leaving her.

25. Debate hummus preferences.

26. Cry. Then say, “I mean, I never cry.”

27. Make a list of the missing and crucial emojis that didn’t make it into the next release.

28. Convince the group the ex is worth giving another chance. Tonight.

29. Rank, in order of preference, the Americans desperate for fame on Ladies of London and the Brits who pretend they’re too good for it.

30. Find out if oil pulling is a real thing.

31. Swear to make this wine night a weekly thing.

I believe that children should be well-behaved.

Most parents, of course, want more for their children than just good behavior. We want them to become caring and responsible adults.

Still, more often than not, children who are cooperative and respect adult authority are also happy and confident children. They are able to bounce back from disappointments and frustrations, sustain effort on difficult tasks and get along with their peers. And the parents of well-behaved children are, undoubtedly, happier parents.

By all accounts, modern American children are very poorly behaved. Why is this so? And what can we do about it?

Many parents (and some parent advisors) believe that our children behave badly because we allow them to — that we are afraid to insist on obedience and respect. Critics of contemporary family life argue that we have turned our homes into “little democracies” in which children “determine their own upbringing” and have the right to argue about everything. As a group, the critics concur: Parents should be less afraid to say “No.”

For some families, this is sound advice. In my experience, for most families, it is not. Saying no, although necessary, is a small part of successful discipline.

Every week, parents tell me, “I’ve taken away all his privileges and things are just getting worse. He’s even more rude and disrespectful,” or “I tell him ‘No’ all the time, but he still doesn’t listen.”

These families are locked in vicious cycles of negative interactions. Then, as these cycles escalate, parents feel increasingly justified in their criticism and disapproval. And kids, for their part, feel increasingly justified in their resentment and defiance.

Of course, we will often have to say no. When we are at our wit’s end, we may even have to count to three. (This worked with my kids like a charm: “If you guys do not stop fighting by the time I count to three, you will not be able to watch The Cosby Show tonight.”) But it takes more than saying no or counting to three to produce a well-behaved child.

Disciplinarians believe that children will behave well when they know what is expected of them and when they come to understand the consequences of their actions. This idea has obvious, intuitive appeal. Everyday experience and behavioral research teach us, however, that often, this is not true. Angry and discouraged children do not behave well, regardless of the consequences of their behavior.

We now know that frequent references to rules and consequences — even strict enforcement of rules and consequences — is simply not the best way to foster good behavior in young children.

There is a Better Way

If we want our children to be well behaved, we should play (and work) with them often, repair moments of anger and criticism, engage them in problem solving and let them know that we are proud of them, especially for the good things they do for others.

Then, we can set limits.

We can let them know when their demands or their behavior, including their language, are “over the line.” (The line is clear: We do not allow behavior that is dangerous or hurtful to others.) When necessary, we can institute a simple system of earning rewards and privileges in return for cooperation with basic tasks.

Ultimately, good behavior depends on the development of a moral identity — a child’s inner sense of him or her self as a good and helpful person. (The developmental psychologist Grazyna Kochanska refers to this as “committed” — in contrast to merely “situational” — compliance.) Children will behave well when they are able to regulate their emotions, when they come to value empathy and kindness and when they understand that the real reason to cooperate with adults is not “because I said so” but consideration for the needs and feelings of others.

It is always important, in thinking about children, to keep in mind that kids are different and one size does not fit all. Children who are impulsive and strong-willed will require more firmness and more patience, more opportunities to practice self-restraint, more frequent praise for every increment of effort and helpfulness and more moments of repair.

Our goal is to help children develop self-discipline, or discipline in the best sense — the ability to forgo immediate pleasure and to endure frustration in the service of long-term goals. The word discipline (like the word parent) is a noun before it is a verb.

In my next post, I will discuss these recommendations in greater detail and offer 15 Rules to foster good behavior in children of all ages.

Parents concerned about their teens buying marijuana illegally from one of Colorado’s licensed recreational marijuana dispensaries can rest easy — the pot shops aren’t selling it to them.

That’s according to the Colorado Department of Revenue’s Marijuana Enforcement Division, which is charged with regulating the marijuana marketplace in the state. The agency recently completed a months-long operation in which it conducted underage compliance checks at 20 marijuana dispensaries in Denver and Pueblo. Their finding? No shops sold to undercover minors trying to buy marijuana or marijuana products.

Here’s how the underage compliance check works, according to the division: Investigators from MED and police officers from the Denver Police Department send “underage operatives” — minors under the direct supervision of the investigating officers — into both recreational and medical marijuana dispensaries to try to purchase cannabis from the shop. Since January, authorities have conducted 20 of these underage compliance checks — 16 in Denver and four in Pueblo, a city about 100 miles south of the state’s capital. And not one of the 20 shops would sell marijuana to the underage customer.

“It is imperative that we keep marijuana out of the hands of kids. These results show that strong efforts are being made by the MED and the marijuana business licensees to do just that,” Barbara Brohl, the executive director of the Colorado Department of Revenue, said in a statement.

Natriece Bryant, a spokeswoman for the DOR, told The Huffington Post that the 20 compliance checks represent only those that have been conducted so far this year, and that the agency plans to continue with checks and other forms of investigation.

“MED strives to ensure public safety through various efforts; underage compliance checks are just one way in which the MED monitors the licensed businesses in Colorado,” Bryant said.

A shop that sells to minors can face serious disciplinary action from the state, including fines up to $100,000 and suspension, restriction or even revocation of its license.

“Black market operators don’t check IDs,” said Michael Elliott, executive director of the Marijuana Industry Group. “The industry will continue to work with the community to prevent underage use. Last November, we endorsed and helped fund and run the campaign to increase taxes on marijuana sales precisely to help promote public safety and prevent underage use. We are happy to see that enforcement is happening, and that the industry is compliant.”

WASHINGTON — An Afghan man who saved the life of a U.S. Navy Seal and was featured in a blockbuster film that grossed millions of dollars says that he now fears for his life and that the Seal’s promise to help him move to America has gone unfulfilled, Vocativ is reporting.

In 2005, Mohammad Gulab found Marcus Luttrell badly wounded and alone in the woods in Afghanistan after the Seal survived an ambush from the Taliban. Gulab gave refuge to Luttrell and took him into his home because of a tribal code of honor which mandates giving help to anyone who needs it. Luttrell survived, and eventually wrote a book called Lone Survivor that chronicled his experience, which was eventually turned into a film starring Mark Wahlberg.

Gulab, who does not speak English, attended the premiere of the film in New York City last year, and appeared with Luttrell in a 60 Minutes report that highlighted how the two men had grown close since the ordeal.

“The five days that we were together, it shot us 20 to 30 years into the future after everything we’ve been through together, ” Luttrell told 60 Minutes. “He very well could have left me lying there on the side of that waterfall and let me die. But he didn’t.”

“I love you,” Luttrell told Gulab on 60 Minutes.

But now Gulab, who still lives in Afghanistan despite attempts to move to the United States, tells Voactiv that his life is “is in worse danger than ever.”

The Taliban are still determined to kill him, Gulab says, and he and his family have been targeted in both shootings and bombings. Gulab says that he sleeps away from home because he thinks that will make it less likely that the Taliban will target his family.

Luttrell advised Gulab to seek asylum in the United States, but Gulab declined to do so, thinking that doing so would mean that he couldn’t return to Afghanistan to be with his family. Gulab wanted to get a green card and says that Luttrell promised him that he would help him move to the country. In January, Gulab flew to Texas, where he wanted to meet with Luttrell and find work until he could obtain a green card. But the morning after he arrived, two members of Luttrell’s family came to his hotel, took him shopping, and then took him to the airport, Voactiv reported.

A representative from the Luttrell family told Vocativ that Gulab left the country voluntarily and that there had been a misunderstanding between the two men.

 The surprise hit of Google I/O was without a doubt Cardboard. Google’s paper product — or phone-based VR viewer — made its debut during yesterday’s keynote, and today, David Coz, the project’s founder, revealed its origins. Read More