When Being Selfish Is a Good Thing

I think sometimes the word selfish gets a bad rap We grow up learning to play fair, be nice to others and above all else, be selfless, not selfish.

But what happens when being selfless puts you on a track that’s not leading to your own personal happiness? Is it okay to turn selfless into selfish? Is it okay to do something for you?

The other day I was confronted for “being selfish” for a certain aspect of my upcoming wedding. When the choice was made, the only factors involved were my fiancé and myself — no one else.

Did we think we were being selfish? Not in our minds; it is our day to plan as we see fit. It brings up a valid question: Are we supposed to plan a day meant to celebrate us according to the wants and needs of others?

Let’s look at the Oxford Dictionary’s true definition of the word:

“Selfish: lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.”

Did we consider others while making the decision? No.
Was the decision made to further our own personal profit or pleasure? Absolutely.

But chances are, that when I asked earlier if we were supposed to plan a day meant to celebrate us according to other people — most of you probably shook your head, “no.”

2014-06-25-itxMkW5vL.jpgPhoto credit: Jonas Maon, Aria Studios

It’s no secret that typically when a female is confronted with an accusation such as selfish — our go-to defense mechanism is to apologize. We are made to believe that by putting ourselves first, those we are meant to care for come second and, as such, are being let down. It’s troubling that our society has come to the point where the connotation of a word can strike fear into our conscience to the point where we question our own choices and morality. People have truly come to believe that we must sacrifice a piece of ourselves in order to be considered good people. But what good can you do if your own personal happiness is in the balance–constantly striving to appease others?

“Sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless.” — Edward Albert

The reality is that to be truly happy, you need to put “you” first sometimes. If that means being selfish, do so with a smile on your face. Am I saying to ignore others or how they feel, always choose yourself or become completely inconsiderate 100-percent of the time? Absolutely not — life is about balance.

Make choices that honor your own happiness first, and if you are able to do that, you will be better equipped to make a difference in the world around you.

Ukraine – the next phase

Singapore 28. June 2014. words 1135 characters with space 6783

Article.
Ukraine – the next phase.
By: Joergen Oerstroem Moeller.

Friday 27th of June 2014 Ukraine’s President Poroshenko signed the association agreement with EU that his predecessor, Yanukovych, abruptly aborted in November 2013 starting the chain of events seen since. A similar agreement was signed by Georgia and Moldova.

The agreement promises free access to a European market of 504 million people, which should boost exports with more than Euro 1 billion. This gain may be partly nullified if Russia implements threats of imposing tariffs, but the European market is expanding and offers highly developed economies, while the Russian market looks less promising with falling population, economic stagnation, and very little sophistication.

Russia and President Putin has made their opposition known – vociferously and abundantly so. That may explain why the EU and Ukraine did not incorporate what is customary in association agreements namely future membership. From Kremlin’s point of view this is neither palliative nor mitigating, but it dispels accusations that EU and Ukraine exploits circumstances without heeding warnings. Russia cannot claim the agreement as a sure way of Ukraine as full member of the EU and even less connoting NATO membership.

For Ukraine as well as for the EU it was and is of paramount importance to show that Russia’s anxiety is not irrelevant and the agreement not inimical to Russia, but sovereign countries cannot be blocked from pursuing their own foreign policy. Russia cannot be granted a veto. This is very much a game of perceptions. Who is the nice guy and who is the bad guy?

Now the ball lies at the foot of all three main players – Ukraine, the EU, and Russia.

For Ukraine the lessons from a large number of conflicts and upheavals around the globe clearly tells that military operations are not likely to hold the country together. Where soldiers go, they unavoidably bring along death and misery. You cannot win the hearts of the people living in Eastern Ukraine by sending in soldiers. Loyalty must be won by offering firm and credible prospects of a better life. So far the attitude of the large majority of people living in these areas has been let us call it neutral or maybe even apathy without commitment to neither side. It may well be that armed gangs wholly or partly sponsored by Russia can dominate some of the territory, but let us see whether they also bring along a better life – almost certainly not. They may appeal for a short while to nationalism, but basically people are interested in bread and butter, not waving the flag. So from Ukraine’s point of view go slow on the military side while stepping up whatever measures are available to help the citizens and reach out to the citizens in a tangible way.

The predicament is that so far very little of Ukraine’s political and economic structure gives any promises of success. Ukraine is not a modern society, but in the grips of oligarchs like in Russia laying their hands of whatever economic growth there has been. They are probably still sufficiently powerful to stand in the way of distributing economic benefits to the people. If allowed to continue to do so, reforms will stall and the effort by EU may be in vain. Russia and President Putin will triumph in the sense that Ukraine will not take off to be a new Poland; we can be sure that President Putin will do his utmost to make Ukraine a failed state. It is positive that the association agreement contains a number of provisions to ensure transparency and steer the country away from the oligarch model. The question is whether they will be implemented and here the EU must show its muscle, stand firm, and not tergiversate by giving way to half-hearted measures and empty promises.

Russia has already bared its teeth, which was to be expected without giving any clue to what it might do. Most likely wait and see for a while combined with destabilizing manoeuvres to complicate life for Ukraine.

Neither Ukraine nor EU should be intimidated by such polices or threats of whatever kind may be forthcoming. Stick doggedly to the course mapped out, pay no attention to noises from the Kremlin, and maintain the economic parameter as the battleground.

Sanctions will not be effective; we know that from history, albeit they may annoy Putin and his inner circle, but the long term prospect of EU turning away from Russian gas and oil combined with shale gas and oil coming on the market augurs a dismal economic future. With 88% of its export coming from oil, gas, and minerals this should worry President Putin even if he is ready to pay any economic price to prevent Ukraine from succeeding. As it looks now Ukraine may succeed while Russia’s economy is undermined by the costs of subsidizing Crimea, higher defence expenditures, a rundown Russian energy infrastructure & production machinery, and a far from it promising outlook for future export of oil and gas. What is Russia going to live off?

EU and US is not seeing eye to eye on the issue of sanctions. It may be a blessing in disguise. An EU policy of let us call it soft sanctions not biting and an American attitude of harsher sanctions may the kind of ambiguity and uncertainty that deepens President Putin’s dilemma.

Assuming that a policy as outlined above is implemented and offers hope of success what can he do? It puts him in the uncomfortable position of having to choose between escalating with unknown and incalculable risks or accepting, grudgingly, what is taking place. Maybe he will be adventurous enough to choose the first course. You never know. Annexing Crimea did not change Russia’s global standing. But the large majority of countries will feel that a real nasty Russian action against Ukraine may not be palatable. It will depict Russia as an unpredictable country, a nation-state that plays a disrupting game, and many of its trading partners outside the Western circle may ask themselves whether Russia is a reliable partner.

This policy precept is based upon analysing similar events over the last 30-40 years. Any case, as we know, is different, but certain principles are not. For Ukraine there are two conditions that if not fulfilled will turn a potential success story into disaster. First, that the government in Kiev loses loyalty of the majority of people in Eastern Ukraine. Second, that the oligarch regime is allowed to continue. In a way they form the two sides of the same coin.

Joergen Oerstroem Moeller
Visiting Senior Research Fellow, Institute of Southeast Asia.
Adjunct Professor Singapore Management University & Copenhagen Business School and Honorary Alumnus, University of Copenhagen.
Former State-Secretary, Royal Danish Foreign Ministry.

Google VR Cardboard Toolkit: Mockulus Rift

At the 2014 Google I/O Conference, Google unveiled Cardboard, an inexpensive Android-based system for viewing and developing virtual reality and 3D content. As its name implies, it uses a cardboard base, along with other inexpensive items. However, if you don’t have the necessary parts at hand, it can still be a pain to create the headset. Thankfully a few companies such as DODOcase are now selling ready to assemble Cardboard kits.

google cardboard vr toolkit by dodocase 620x354magnify

google cardboard vr toolkit by dodocase 2 620x357magnify

google cardboard vr toolkit by dodocase 3 620x335magnify

The images above are just screenshots of the original headset as shown on the Cardboard page. But if DODOcase got their hands on a sample kit then their offering should be equally functional. After you’ve assembled the headset, get a compatible Android smartphone – the Cardboard page has a list of supported phones – and the Cardboard app. Here’s CNET’s brief test of Cardboard:

DODOcase is selling the kit for $20 (USD) to $25; the extra $5 gets you an NFC tag. DODOcase estimates that it will set you back around $45 if you buy the materials separately. Add the extra time and effort you’ll save on gathering the parts and the kit sounds like a great deal. You can learn more about Cardboard on Google’s Developers site. You can also watch Google’s presentation about Cardboard on YouTube, which actually mentions DODOcase’s kit.

[via Reddit]

Facebook Experimented on Random Users to Study Newsfeed Emotions

Facebook Experimented on Random Users to Study Newsfeed Emotions

Spend time with a Debbie Downer, and you’ll likely end up feeling blue. Turns out, the same is true digitally: Facebook’s new study says this “emotional contagion” works just as strongly through your News Feed—which they discovered after tinkering with the emotional content of nearly 700,000 random users’ feeds.

Read more…



The Best Deals for June 28, 2014

The Best Deals for June 28, 2014

It’s Saturday readers, save a bunch of money and then go do something with your day, or don’t. Not doing anything is always a great deal.

Read more…



Recommended Reading: An Android future and Microsoft's quantum computing think tank

Recommended Reading highlights the best long-form writing on technology and more in print and on the web. Some weeks, you’ll also find short reviews of books that we think are worth your time. We hope you enjoy the read.

Google’s Grand Plans: A…

Seiko introduces Novak Djokovic Limited Edition Astron timepiece

seiko-astron-gps-solarNot all watches are created equal, this you can be sure of. The thing is, not everyone is able to afford one of those expensive designer watches, and will have to settle for something that is more within their budgets. Seiko does have its fair share of entry level timepieces, but this does not mean they do not cater to the mid-range and higher end market. In fact, Seiko has just launched its Novak Djokovic Limited Edition Astron watch, where this timepiece will be based on the new chronograph caliber that was introduced at Baselworld 2014 to great acclaim.

The new Seiko Astron GPS Solar Novak Djokovic Limited Edition is so remarkable that it is capable of adjusting itself to every time zone on earth with but a single touch of a button, which means regardless of where Novak’s game takes him, he will be able to have the exact time on his wrist. It is estimated that Novak’s 2014 global travel schedule might need him to adjust his watch a minimum of 60 times, but with the Seiko Astron, he does not even have to think about doing so, now how about that?

Apart from that, with its 8X82 caliber, there are two new functions thrown into the mix, namely a six-hour chronograph and an electronic function in the crown that paves the way for even easier adjustment of the secondary functions. Not only that, it is 30% smaller in size than the current 7X caliber, where this reduction is made possible thanks to a new advance in Astron’s energy-saving technology, as it enables the timepiece to hook up to the GPS network with a smaller antenna.

The Novak Djokovic Limited Edition sports a black ceramic bezel, an extra-strength silicon strap and the rose-gold tone of the steel case. The case itself will see Novak’s name and signature appear on the back, while each watch has its own serial number engraved beneath. Rolling out this November, there will only be 2,500 of these bad boys made available to the masses.

Press Release
[ Seiko introduces Novak Djokovic Limited Edition Astron timepiece copyright by Coolest Gadgets ]

Rival Islamist Rebels Try To Wrest Control Of Syria Border Town From ISIS

BEIRUT, June 28 (Reuters) – Islamist rebels waged a counter-offensive in Syria’s border town of Albu Kamal on Saturday, challenging the grip of the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) which has seized large areas on each side of the crumbling Iraqi-Syrian frontier.

Earlier this week ISIL fighters appeared to be consolidating their hold over Albu Kamal when the local leader of the rival Nusra Front, al Qaeda’s official branch in Syria, pledged allegiance to them.

ISIL is a more radical offshoot of al Qaeda that has its roots in Iraq and expanded into Syria shortly after the start of the three-year insurgency against President Bashar al-Assad.

It controls much of Syria’s eastern oil-producing Euphrates River region, and its lightning gains in Iraq’s Sunni Muslim northern and western provinces over the last three weeks means ISIL now commands a large cross-border expanse of territory – in which Albu Kamal forms an important link.

An Islamist website quoted Abu Yusuf al-Masri, the local Nusra Front leader who gave an oath of allegiance to ISIL on Tuesday, as saying a suicide bomber blew himself in Albu Kamal on Friday night, killing three of Masri’s men and wounding 20.

The Syrian Observatory for Human Rights, a Britain-based monitoring group, reported heavy fighting overnight and into Saturday in the town between ISIL-aligned forces and rival Islamists, who include Nusra Front fighters from outside the town who had not sided with ISIL.

The Observatory’s Rami Abdul Rahman said local tribal figures were trying to broker a ceasefire across the eastern province of Deir al-Zor where Albu Kamal is located.

Albu Kamal lies across the border from the Iraqi town of al-Qaim, which was seized by ISIL fighters more than a week ago.

The town was bombed by jets on Tuesday in an attack which Iraqi and Syrian sources said was carried out by Syria’s air force. State media in Damascus denied that any Syrian planes struck inside Iraq and Iraq’s prime minister said the Syrian jets hit targets inside Syrian territory.

The military gains by Islamic State fighters have highlighted the extent to which the conflict in Iraq is intertwined with the civil war in Syria, where more than 160,000 people have been killed in the last three years.

On Saturday several people were killed, including at least two children, when a car bomb exploded in the Syrian town of Douma, northeast of the capital Damascus, the Observatory said.

Video uploaded on the Internet by activists showed the flaming wreckage of an overturned vehicle in front of the blackened pillars of a nearby building, which activists said was located in a popular Douma market. (Reporting by Dominic Evans; Editing by Mark Heinrich)

Benghazi Attack Suspect Ahmed Abu Khattala 'In U.S. Court'

WASHINGTON (AP) — A spokesman for the U.S. attorney’s office in Washington says a Libyan militant charged in the 2012 Benghazi attacks is in federal law enforcement custody and there is heightened security at the city’s federal courthouse.

Spokesman William Miller declined further comment regarding Ahmed Abu Khattala (Kah-TALL-ah) at this time.

Khattala faces criminal charges in the deaths of the U.S. ambassador to Libya and three other Americans.

U.S. special forces captured him in Libya two weeks ago, marking the first breakthrough in the investigation of the Benghazi attacks.

A criminal complaint filed last year was unsealed after his capture.

U.S. officials had been questioning Abu Khattala aboard a Navy amphibious transport dock ship that brought him to the United States.

Black Bear Burglar Digs Tears Floorboards To Steal Honey

JUNEAU, Alaska (AP) — A black bear in Juneau, Alaska, didn’t let a few floorboards keep him from getting at some honey.

The male bear walked up the stairs of a porch at the home of Janet and Donald Kussart and tore through the floorboards and some insulation to get his treat, the Juneau Empire reported (http://is.gd/su9At7 ). The bear was wearing an Alaska Department of Fish and Game tag.

A neighbor, Ira Winograd, said the bear must have smelled a beehive the wall of the house, so he tore it up to get to his meal. Afterward, the bear ambled along a walkway and eventually darted into the forest.

Janet Kussart said people are used to having bears in the Starr Hill neighborhood.

On Saturday, a different bear fell through a skylight at the Juneau home of Alice Bishop and Glenn Merrill as they prepared for their son’s first birthday party.

The dazed bear recovered enough to help itself to the cupcakes before the couple were able to shoo the bear outside. The animal retreated to the woods when Merrill used some bear spray.

Authorities believe that bear was killed 30 minutes later when it entered another home.

___

Information from: Juneau (Alaska) Empire, http://www.juneauempire.com