Dreamers vs. Realists

“There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You would think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists but… more often than not, the opposite is true. You see the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists… well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.” — Modern Family

Before you had the chance to read the second sentence of the quote, you probably determined which one you are: the dreamer or the realist. I’m sure there are also a handful of you who will declare a combination of both. You know, the best of both worlds.

It’s interesting; it seems the older you become the less you rub shoulders with the dreamers. Over time they become the minority.

Early on in life the opposite holds true. Throughout childhood we are all encouraged to dream. Advised that there are no limits to what we can achieve. Reassured that if we shoot for the moon, we’ll land among the stars. Think back to the most common question you were asked as an adolescent, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The responses were so pure, so genuine.

As you aged, the answer to that same question began to reshape. Not because you no longer wanted to attain those same career aspirations, simply because somewhere down the line you were told they were unrealistic. Thus, you entered a world where decisions are made with your brain rather than your heart, a world in which results are measured in immediate physical evidence rather than the limitless potential of opportunity.

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Photo Credit: atlantacriminallawyersblog.com

It’s not always easy being the dreamer. You will constantly feel vulnerable to failure and embarrassment. There will always be spectators anticipating the moment you call it quits. Our society has evolved into a community that would rather see one crumble than succeed. The losses may be more public and painful, but the wins are far more rewarding.

The realists, their expectations are far less than the dreamers. They are quick to deny ideas and choose to live between the lines, never exploring what’s beyond the horizon. Never pressing the envelope. Always playing it safe. For them success comes regularly but in small doses.

When you are a dreamer, you must establish some form of tunnel vision. There will be doubters along with individuals who take jabs at the wonderful things you are attempting to accomplish. These are the people who have the power to ultimately keep you from fulfilling those dreams. Not because those dreams are unattainable, but because it’s easy to allow them to convince you of so. The moment you entertain their negativity is the moment you begin to question yourself.

Are realists the doubters? Not necessarily. They honestly are the reason ideas become tangible. They’re capable of focusing on the project at hand while cautiously mapping out the plan to execute. Think of them as the stage crew. They work behind the scenes to make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. They have thought of every situation and will make sure everyone is fully prepared. Without them, the show could potentially turn into a disaster.

But what most realists don’t understand or appreciate is the fact that without the dreamers, there would be no show. The dreamers want to change the world because they truly believe they can. Without the dreamer’s attitude that anything is possible, imagine where our world would be. For every innovative idea, there were those who initially laughed them off… until they became reality.

It’s difficult not to wonder if the realists wish they could actually be dreamers. Whether they are too afraid of failure or they simply don’t have the confidence to stick their neck out. Either way, it’s ironic the dreamers are those who wake up excited to make their dreams become reality while the realists wish they could stay in bed and fantasize about their dreams.

There has never been a doubt in my mind which one describes myself. I have a lifelong list of ideas and personal goals with only what seems like a Post-it note full of achievements.

Where I grew up there aren’t many dreamers. In rural Southeastern Ohio people don’t become professional athletes, pop singers, best-selling authors, or even corporate executives. Parents aren’t always the most encouraging, opportunity doesn’t often knock on doors, and expectations are minimal. People talk and routinely find your pursuit humorous and hopeless.

But I’m here to tell you firsthand, if you truly believe in what you are pursuing and you’re willing to put in the work anything is possible. Obstacles arise to remind you how badly you want to reach your destination.

The dreamers are simply those who never gave up… don’t ever give up.

Dad Said <i>What?</i> Reinventing My Views On Fatherhood

The first motivational speaker in my life was my dad. He preached to us at an early age, when we asked for something, by saying, “Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and tell me which one fills up faster.” Touché. We learned not to keep asking.

He also told us, on numerous occasions, to “go plaaaaaayyy on the yellow liiiiiine.” We lived on a highway — even by rural standards. Clearly, my brother and I must have understood that he had a sense of humor and ignored his recommendation to “go play in traffic.” I remember going on a long ride to Hershey, Pennsylvania when I was a kid and wanting to go to the bathroom, when he told me, “Nance, think of Niagra Falls.” Nice.

Dad also shared with us, at the request of almost anything, that “there’s no money tree in the back yaaaaaaard!” When the noise level got over a certain decibel point — he’d say to us (and now our children), “Kids, can ya keep it down to a dull rooooarrrr?” My three children did just that and roared simultaneously at a “dull” level.

Another one of his favorite sayings was, “I should save my breath, because I’m going to need it for the last day.” And, so he did. My dad passed away last March and we just spent our first Father’s day without him. In prior years, my three brothers golfed with him, and a cookout would inevitably follow.

My younger brother David pointed out the wisdom in Dad’s “sayings.” He never told a lie and it was something he insisted that we didn’t do, as well — always tell the truth. The truth is — if you “wish in one hand and” . . . well, you get the point. If you play on the yellow line, you’re much more likely to be killed than if you play on the sidewalk. There is no money tree in the back yard. Keeping things to a dull roar — not so sure what the consequence of that one is. Saving your breath for the last day — he did, and he did it well. He was a total trooper.

He loved my mother more than any man I’ve ever witness love their wife. Was he easy? No way. Was his love true — truer than any man I’ve ever known? Absolutely. He would have been lost without her, and she is lonely without him, micro-managing the placement of his deodorant in the bathroom, saving every credit card receipt to show against the statements, to his clearly laid out desk accessories in his basement “office.” Did I mention he was a CPA, type A personality and a tad obsessive compulsive?

Dad had many things to say to mom including, “You wouldn’t say shit if your mouth was full of it.” Little did he know that was the saving grace of their marriage. My mother was at his beck and call — always. He wanted for nothing — well, more on that in a bit. She waited on him hand and foot, cooked nearly every meal the man ate during their 51 years of marriage, ironed his shirts, did his laundry, and the list goes on.

Not long before he passed, he requested “privacy” to talk to my mom alone, when I was in the hospital with my uncle. We opted to leave the room. He shared with my mom that he wanted her to stay with him that night. My mom explained that she didn’t have clothes and didn’t have a place to sleep. My dad replied that “it’s not just about the sex,” and that “they were two grown people,” who clearly could sleep together in the same bed at this age and stage of life — even if he was in the hospital.

Dad knew it was his time starting 64 hours before he died. We knew it, too. His final day he requested my “help” to stop the chest pain from the broken ribs he endured, during a resuscitation episode, two days prior. To see a parent become child-like and beg for his daughter’s help to stop the pain was excruciating. His breathing was labored and he continued his requests for oxygen, along with more complaints of chest pains incurred when the medical team attempted to resuscitate him the day before that — he couldn’t breathe. A horrible way to go!

In the end, we were all able to share our love for dad, and he expressed his love for us and apologized to each of us (albeit not so specific as to what he was apologizing for). Either way, isn’t that what we want to end our life with — an expression of love that might have gone unnoticed and apologies for whatever we might have done to hurt the ones we love — the ones we shouldn’t hurt at all, but do, because we’re the safest people to hurt and still feel love from them and express love to them?

Having no regrets for spending the past decade being closer to my dad than I ever have been, I’m so grateful for the times I’ve spent with him.

I became very ill almost a decade ago and by May of 2005, I was on death’s door. My mom and dad were there for me 110 percent. They both drove into Boston to see me nearly daily and were my health care proxy’s who, ultimately, were able to make decisions on my behalf because I was separated from my husband at the time.

My dad would ask me, when I was on a feeding tube, “Nance, do you want a filet mignon today, sss, sss, sss . . .” (my dad’s way of laughing was a sss, sss, sss sound). My mom would be upset — but personally, I didn’t care — I had no appetite anyway and I knew it was his sometimes “sick” sense of humor at play.

I’m so grateful we spent 10 days together, before his lung cancer was diagnosed, in Santa Monica and Pasadena, CA for the 2012 Rose Bowl Parade. He and my mom joined me, along with my beau at the time and my three children, to see me ride on the Donate Life float for organ donation. It was the last trip I ever took with my dad and we all have great memories.

My dad also offered me some of the best advice I’d ever received. “Nance, marry someone who will be an asset to you.” Umm. When I was so depressed from being sick and wanting to fade away, he told me my “only job is to get well. Nothing else matters until that happens.” He was so right.

There are, and will be, so many more times in my life I’d like my dad to be present for. Sadly, that won’t happen, although he’ll always have a place in my heart… every day, in every way, from this day forward.

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My Dad and I

A Profile of Soprano Tony Arnold — Guest Artist at Santa Fe Chamber Festival 2014

Soprano Tony Arnold is a luminary in the world of Chamber Music and Art Song. Today’s classical composers are inspired by her inherently beautiful voice, consummate musicianship, and embracing spirit. Audiences everywhere recognize her assuredness and mastery over a wide range of musical styles, vocal modes and dramatic challenges. On Wednesday, July 30 and Thursday, July 31, Tony appears at the Santa Fe Chamber Festival with the Orion String Quartet in the U.S. premiere of composer Brett Dean’s String Quartet No.2 — And once I Played Ophelia. Dean’s composition was given its UK premiere last May and come November it will be presented in six cities across Australia. With text by Matthew Jocelyn (after Shakespeare), Tony describes the new work as a monodrama.

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Tony Arnold. Photo, Claudia Hansen

“Many composers have been attracted to Ophelia,” said Tony, “mostly because she appears so infrequently in the play, but has this incredible emotional impact. She is also emotionally mysterious. We take her to be young and naive, but I think there are more robust ways of looking at her. That is what Brett Dean is trying to get at in this piece. The words that are used are not only from Ophelia, but also from Hamlet, her father and brother. I am not her character in this monodrama. We are seeing her through the eyes of others — seeing her react to the way others treat her. Maybe even seeing her from beyond as she looks back or looks over the scene — an omniscient vantage. It’s very extreme, very lyrical and complex. She is conflicted, for sure.”

In Act III, scene i of Hamlet, the King and Polonius (Ophelia’s father) have set her up in order to encounter Hamlet. They will observe the exchange out of sight in order to determine if Ophelia’s virtue and beauty are the cause of Hamlet’s strange behavior of late. Hamlet then enters, ruminating on the notion of suicide, “To be or not to be.” At the end of his speech, Ophelia enters pretending to read a book. After a brief greeting, she tells Hamlet that she wants to return certain gifts to him. “Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.” Hamlet becomes agitated and begins a string of verbal assaults. He tells Ophelia five times to get herself to a nunnery. By Act IV, scene v, Ophelia has gone mad — in scene vii, the Queen enters to say she has drowned.

“We’re seeing all of her emotions through a prism,” said Tony, “and it keeps turning. There are five movements in this continuous piece. We keep seeing her through a new facet of that prism. The first scene is reflective of Hamlet’s text, ‘Get thee to a nunnery.’ He thinks she’s being a whore. We’re not really seeing her responses to that per se, but she becomes possessed by his words. The text is his, but she is embodying, digesting, and processing his words — perhaps remembering them in the afterlife, after she drowns. We don’t know why she drowns. People speculate that she committed suicide, maybe she didn’t. But the weight of the water, the weight of the words, the weight of the opinions of others, the weight of her place in the world — there are a lot of ways to look at her character.”

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Tony Arnold. Photo, Claudia Hansen

Collaboration is an essential force in the world of chamber music. The renowned Santa Fe Chamber Festival, now in its 42nd season (7/20 – 8/25) is all about collaboration. The creation and presentation of Brett Dean’s And once I Played Ophelia, written for high soprano and string quartet, is a great example. The work is a co-commission by the Santa Fe Chamber Music Festival, the Britten Sinfonia, and Australian String Quartet. In addition to the benefits of combining resources, the new work then enjoys exposure around the world. Soprano Allison Bell was featured with the Britten Sinfonia in the UK premiere last May. Soprano Greta Bradman teams with the Australian String Quartet for the November tour which will play to audiences in Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, Canberra, Brisbane, and Adelaide. I asked Tony how she became linked to the project.

“Two years ago, I was invited to the Santa Fe Chamber Festival to sing Requiem: Songs for Sue by Oliver Knussen. It is a great work written in memory of his wife. After hearing me sing this, Marc Neikrug [composer, pianist, and Artistic Director of the Santa Fe Chamber Music Festival] suggested to Brett Dean that he might think about writing a work that would include me. I did not know him before this and I still haven’t met him in person. Marc invited me back to do this. It’s always an honor to give voice to a new piece.”

My first experience of Tony Arnold’s exquisite soprano voice was via YouTube — Virtue, by Christopher Theofanidis. All at once, I’m absorbed into the beauty of the composition and Tony’s magnetic performance. Her homepage includes several hours of live performances featuring material by such composers as George Crumb, Eric Chasalow, György Kurtág, Arnold Schönberg, Alban Berg, Julio Estrada, and Josh Levine. Tony’s stunning vocal flexibility makes her compatible with every work, her interpretations of the varied texts are rich and nuanced. After several viewings of her mesmerizing rendition of Seven Armenian Songs by Gabriela Lena Frank — I’m very glad I asked Tony a variation on Cary Grant’s classic question, “How does a girl like you get to be a girl like you?” Tony earned a BA in Vocal Performance at Oberlin College in 1990. I asked what she sang when the assignment was about Puccini.

“I never had those assignments,” she said. “My teacher at Oberlin was Carol Webber. She really understood to not press young voices that weren’t ready to go in a particular direction. She knew that my skills and my tastes were someplace else. She said to sing some songs by Schubert and to look at the other six hundred that nobody ever does. And so I did! I went on these quests – listening to repertoire and, because I had skills as a pianist, read through a lot of stuff at the keyboard, not just with my voice but using all my skills and finding unusual things. Another direction I went was with languages. Nobody was singing the Dvořák songs in the original language. I had a friend who was a member of a Slovak church. The Reverend at that church knew how to speak Czech. I asked him if he would help me with these really cool songs. I had found a repertoire that spoke to me, that was my own. There were no hard and fast expectations, there were no great artists who had made recordings of these songs. I found my own way to sing them – because of a very wise teacher, pointing me in a direction. She knew that if I was trying to imitate what was out there and bend myself into an operatic mold that — not only might I not succeed — mostly, I would not be happy.”

Tony Arnold is the enchantress who can persuade even the most resistant into the realm of chamber music — particularly at a live performance, especially in the expectant atmosphere of an event such as the Santa Fe Chamber Festival. Its venues provide a more up-close and personal encounter — such as with a dazzling contemporary/classical-type soprano in company with a string quartet, going off about a character out of Shakespeare that we’ve all known or been confused by since high school.

“Because commissioning money is short everywhere, what has been happening more and more are co-commissions. So, here is one piece that gets multiple premieres in multiple areas. When I began devoting myself to contemporary repertoire, it was as much about working with a particular group of people — not a defined group — but a certain kind of musician that had a certain kind of commitment to what they were doing. Nobody does contemporary music who doesn’t already have a certain level of skill and ability already. More importantly, it takes a lot of time. Within the field, that level of commitment is actually very high. I’ve always found that to be very gratifying and fun. It’s the way I like to work. Since I’m making new pieces all the time, I can often get things written for me and work directly with the composer to get something that fits my voice very well.”

“I’m involved in a similar kind of project — Virtue, by Christopher Theofanidis. It is a co-commission by New Haven Symphony, the Fairfax Symphony in Washington, D.C., and the Adrian Symphony in Michigan. I did the premieres with Fairfax and Adrian and will do the premiere with New Haven in November. It’s going to be performed in a church and they’re going to do some staging. The piece is based on a work of Hildegard von Bingen. So, with the video we’ll have of that – the hope is to present it to a number of other orchestras and see if they would like to perform it. That may or may not involve me. But we’ll have done three big things to give this work a springboard, to having more life. That is what’s going on with Dean’s piece as well. If you do co-commissions like this, it does improve the chances that the piece will be picked up by somebody else.”

Tony is coming to San Francisco, November 16 to work with her friend Steve Schick – percussionist, conductor and Artistic Director of the San Francisco Contemporary Music Players. Together they will premiere a new work by George Crumb. On December 8 she will be at UC Davis performing with the Empyrean Ensemble — seven pieces by graduate student composers she has been working with over the past year. The following May she will perform at Stanford University — again with Doctoral student composers writing pieces for her. It appears that future sopranos have a growing cache of Chamber material to look forward to.

“Let’s hope so,” said Tony. “I talk to young composers about that a lot. They need to be encouraged to try a whole bunch of new things. They also need to consider in their writing what kind of tools they want to have, what kind of audiences they want to hear their work and who else they want to have sing it. I encourage them to think about not only writing for my specific voice, but how voices work in general. Some people have affinities for particular styles, some singers have a trumpet for a voice, some have a flute. You need to take a lot of things into account when you start writing for posterity.”

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Tony Arnold. Photo, Claudia Hansen

“In a way, Art Music has always been a quiet endeavor. Sometimes that is a hard thing to imagine in our world which is all about grand gestures and big scale — reaching a lot of people, mass media. That is what recordings and technology have done. That’s all fine. But I think there is something about the nature of what we do that is very quiet and reaches people on a level that is body-by-body. If I thought I had to reach everybody, that would just be overwhelming. My dialogue with any audience is an immediate dialogue. It’s happening right now and precisely in this moment. Between us. That makes me able to continue to do it.”

This 10-Year-Old Whips Up Pizza and Potato Gnocchi Like a Pro

By Jessica Press

Kelly Myers and 10-year-old Kika Garcia started cooking at home together when Kika was in preschool — a natural mother-daughter activity, given that Kelly is the executive chef at Portland’s acclaimed Xico restaurant.

The inspiration.
“It all began with mashed potatoes,” says Kelly. “I never pushed cooking, but when Kika was around three, she started using a potato masher and pouring in some of the butter and milk.” Fast-forward seven years, and today Kika delights in whipping up pizzas and potato gnocchi. Her next goal: Make a molten chocolate cake. Baking is a great way to stir cooking interest in kids, says Kelly. “They like measuring and stirring,” she says. “They like sweets, and you’re more likely to have a popular result.”

Plus: Mom and daughter make big contribution to their community

The inside scoop
“The best part of cooking with my mom is trying her recipes before anyone else,” says Kika, who has spent many an afternoon by her mom’s side, watching the hustle and bustle of the restaurant as Kelly explains how the kitchen operates. Kelly has also taken Kika to help with the family’s farm share and taught her to identify ingredients from an early age. “When Kika was about 5, she was playing restaurant on a playdate,” Kelly says. “The other mom heard Kika on the pretend phone — ordering prosciutto.”

Plus: An adventurous mom and daughter who tackled a world record

Lessons learned
Cooking has also been an opportunity for Kika to learn that things may not always work out the way you’d hoped — as in the case of the ricotta pancake recipe she dreamed up a few years ago. “The first time we made them, they were great,” she recalls. “The second time, we added way too much flour.” Kelly says it wound up being a lesson in recipe development: “To actually be able to replicate a recipe is the challenge.” Kelly has also learned from her daughter. “I can be impatient,” she admits. “So it was really hard for me, at first, to not just step in and do things myself. Kika taught me to give her lots of opportunities to try. Faster may be the goal at work — but it’s not the goal at home.”

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Read about more mother-daughter adventures!

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Woody Allen's Slight of Hand: Magic in the Moonlight

Woody Allen is up to his old tricks. Real ones, like pulling a rabbit out of a hat. In previous films he’s played the magician role himself, but in Magic in the Moonlight, a romantic comedy set in the luscious Provence landscape, he allows the dreamy Colin Firth to handle the willing suspension of disbelief, making elephants disappear, sawing women in two, misdirection, bedecked in chinoiserie. Even as an insufferable pompous egomaniac, Firth is so suave it is easy to fall in love with him.

But wait, didn’t he play this role before? Ah yes, his character is a reprise of the arrogant Mr. Darcy, only this time facing the wide eyed Emma Stone as Sophie, a charlatan psychic, with echoes of T. S. Eliot’s Madame Sosostris, a seer of the unseen type that was all the rage in the early twentieth century. Evoking Hamlet’s malaise, Firth’s Stanley has a crisis of faith and you have to believe the angst represents an evolution in the filmmaker’s own late-life dread of death. In supporting roles, Jacki Weaver and Marcia Gay Harden are good, but a special commendation goes to Eileen Atkins for her expertise at solitaire and elegance in period dress.

Dress in fact was on display at the premiere’s after party at Harlow, hosted by Dolce & Gabbana who provided lovely frocks for Emma Stone and Audrey Tatou, in town for the premiere of her new film, the whimsical and dark Mood Indigo. Firth and Andrew Garfield, hiding behind a full beard, looked spiffy in D&G suits, as did Dane DeHaan, rounding out the Spiderman team. Others, Anna Wintour, John Turturro, Bennett Miller, Oliver Stone, Julie Taymor, Christine Baranski, looked pretty good too, Firth’s Mamma Mia co-star sidling up to him at a back room table.

Nearby the gamine Audrey Tatou gesticulated wildly praising the performances. She especially wanted to know how much Firth improvised hand gestures, the kind of moves actors might note as choices rather than direction. So, when chance came my way, I asked him. Gamely he replied that it’s organic, when your character falls apart, your arm may disengage, and he did the move. Next up for him is a film with Jude Law, about the You Can’t Go Home Again novelist Thomas Wolfe and his unusual working relationship with editor Maxwell Perkins; it’s called Genius.

By this time, Woody Allen was nowhere in sight, and yet he should know, as the Australian Jacki Weaver affirmed, for actors worldwide working with Woody Allen is magic, the stuff dreams are made on.

A version of this post also appears on Gossip Central.

My Letter to 25 Local Drug Dealers

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I woke up on Monday morning and turned on the television while I was drinking my morning coffee. It had not been on for more than a minute and I saw my brother’s face pop up on the screen as part of a promo for a story the local ABC affiliate was doing on families being torn apart by the prescription drug problem in local communities. My mother was part of the interview.

It’s been a little more than two years since my brother, Will, died from a prescription drug overdose of fentanyl — a powerful opiate that is 100 stronger than morphine and 40 times stronger than heroin.

Will’s death sparked an investigation by local authorities and the SBI and they have been working diligently for the past couple of years in bringing down the people that are dealing these drugs.

One day after my mom’s interview aired, the news reported that there had been 25 arrest made in a prescription drug ring in the small county I grew up in. The same county my brother bought drugs in and the same county he died in. My brother is one of 673 people who died from prescription drug overdoses in North Carolina is 2012.

As I read the article about the most recent arrests and saw their mugshots on the local news, you would think I would be thrilled. And while I am happy that they are temporarily off the streets from selling drugs, I can’t help but hurt for them, as I assume they are addicts themselves.

I decided to write each of them a letter letting them know who I was and what I thought about them and their current situation. I mailed the letters to the addresses that were listed in the newspaper. Maybe they will never read them. Maybe they will throw them away. But my hope is that maybe, just maybe, it will provide one of them with some hope for a future free from drugs.

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So, this was my letter to the drug dealers who were arrested. This is my letter to drug dealers everywhere…

Dear —
My name is Allison Hudson. I am the sister of Will Hudson who died on April 22, 2012 from an accidental overdose on the prescription drug, fentanyl. His death sparked an investigation by the SBI into the prescription drug problem in Stanly Co, which is what led to your recent arrest.

I know you are not the drug dealer who sold my brother the drugs that killed him because that person is facing involuntary manslaughter charges for selling him the drugs. That person has also turned his life around and is no longer selling drugs and has gotten clean and sober. In fact, I helped him find treatment for his addiction after he hit his bottom and reached out for help.

I don’t know if you knew my brother, if you were one of his dealers, or if you have no idea who he was, but he is probably a lot like some your “customers.” He was a good kid who became addicted to opiates and spent a lot of money on them over the years.

I often wonder what you do with the money you make selling drugs. It is my assumption that you spend it on drugs yourself, because you too are an addict like he was.

If that is the case, my hope for you is that the current circumstances you find yourself in will be your “rock bottom” and will motivate you to turn your life around.

You see… when I saw your picture in the newspaper and on the evening news, I didn’t see you as the many things that people think you are… I see you a sick person who needs help and most likely can’t do it alone.

So, I guess what I want to say is this —

I understand addiction. I am a recovering alcoholic myself. Before I got help, I didn’t understand addiction. I didn’t think a life without alcohol or drugs was possible. I was mentally, physically and spiritually dead. I sit in rooms at 12 steps meetings everyday with people who have been exactly where you are today and they have turned their lives around and are happy, joyous and free.

No matter what you have done in your past. No matter what you have had to endure. No matter what you are currently facing, there is still hope. I promise you that. I would venture to say that you are not a bad person, but you have made some bad decisions as a result of your addiction. I believe in you and hope your current circumstances will motivate you to not give up, but to be willing to try something new and live a life you can be proud of. Some of the most inspiring recovery stories I have heard are from people who have been to the gates of hell and experienced unimaginable things in their life.

There is help out there… you just have to want it. There is no shame in asking for help. Addiction is a disease and it needs to be treated as one. You are not responsible for your disease. You are responsible for your recovery.

I have enclosed several numbers of places that would love to help you. My prayer for you is that you reach out for help. You are not alone. You deserve to live the life you were intended to live, not the life your addiction has given you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Allison

Just A Forklift Forklifting A Forklift Forklifting A Package

Need a lift?

Not these guys.

These innovative forklift operators have figured out how to extract a maximum amount of lift from their rigs, with a maneuver likely to make OSHA inspectors sigh.

While most forklift operators use their rigs to simply lift stationary objects to a higher spot, these workers use one forklift to lift the other, which in turn hoists the package. Once everything is in place, the smaller lift drives the whole outfit into the semi-truck trailer, deposits the load, then reverses back onto the tines of the larger lift.

As for what’s carrying the first forklift, well — it’s just turtles forklifts all the way down.

Quinn Lucas Schansman, U.S. Citizen Killed On MH17, Leaves Behind Happy Memories

Nineteen-year-old Quinn Schansman boarded an airplane on Thursday in Amsterdam, prepared to join the rest of his family already on vacation in Malaysia. On Friday, however, President Barack Obama announced that the young student was one of the 298 people — and so far the only victim known to have American citizenship — killed when Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 was shot down over Ukraine.

Schansman, a dual citizen of both the U.S. and Holland, was remembered as “kind,” “caring” and easy to like.

“He stuck up for you and made you laugh when he saw there was something wrong,” friend Fabienne Schriek told NBC News. “He was … kind of sensitive and caring. He had a lot of friends and everybody seem[ed] to like him. If there was a fight in class he could cool everyone down again, made a joke and it was like it never happened. He was really down to earth and just [a] fun guy to have around.”

Born in New York City but reportedly raised in the Netherlands, Schansman’s Facebook page lists him as a business school student in Amsterdam. A woman listed as his girlfriend posted a photo of them kissing after news of Schansman’s death:

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Messages of condolences from others quickly streamed in on van Dranen’s photo.

Posts to Schansman’s Instagram feed show a typical happy teenager, enjoying the company of friends and family. A picture of him and his younger brother was posted back in March.

The two were reportedly both fans of Ajax, a professional soccer team in the Dutch league. Schansman also played for local soccer club Olympia ’25, which his brother was expected to join next year. In a post on their website, the organization paid tribute to Schansman and another family of five, who were apparently among the 189 Dutch citizens killed on the flight.

Along with his younger brother, USA Today reports that Schansman is survived by his sister, Nerissa Schansman, and younger brother, as well as his mother and father.

Follow the latest news on Malaysian Airlines Flight 17 here, on our liveblog.

These Charts Show Good News For Hillary Clinton, Bad News For Chris Christie

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is the most well-known and well-liked of 16 potential 2016 presidential candidates, according to a recent Gallup poll. Clinton is far more likable than any other potential Democratic candidate, with 15 percentage points between her and Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s net favorability scores.

Gallup also polled Republican voters and Republican-leaning independents about their views on the potential GOP candidates. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is highly visible, but not very popular.

Tiger Woods Makes Cut With Clutch Birdie Putt On 18th Hole At Open Championship (VIDEO)

In order to accomplish his stated goal of playing himself back into competitive shape after returning from back surgery, Tiger Woods needs to ensure that he actually plays. The 14-time major winner came perilously close to missing out on the final two rounds of the 2014 Open Championship on Friday before salvaging the weekend with his very last shot of the day.

After 35 uneven holes, Woods needed to sink a six-foot birdie putt on the 18th hole at Royal Liverpool get inside the cut line (+2) at the Open Championship. He found himself in danger of missing the cut at a major for just the fourth time in his career after a triple bogey on the 17th hole. After carding a solid 3-under 69 in his first round, Woods opened his second round with a double bogey and a bogey. As he stood over his fourth shot on the Par 5 18th hole, Woods had yet to record a birdie all day and.

With the cut line looming, Woods made his first birdie putt of the day when he needed it most. His six-foot putt ensured that he would get in two more rounds at Royal Liverpool over the weekend. The wayward shots that preceded that final one ensured that Woods had fallen far behind the leaders. He finished his round with a 5-over 77, leaving him 14 strokes behind leader Rory McIlroy.

“I’m pretty far back,” Woods said after his round, via The Associated Press. “Luckily I’ve got two rounds to go. And hopefully I can do something like Paul did in ’99. He made up, I think, 10 in one day. Hopefully I can play well on the weekend and at least give myself a shot at it going to the back nine on Sunday.”

The Open Championship is Woods’ second tournament back since undergoing back surgery in March. He returned to the PGA Tour for the Quicken Loans National in June. He missed the cut at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, Md after rounds of 74 and 75.