Hasta La Gadget!

Having an imaginary child is one of the better decisions of my life. Around the time that I conceived her, my husband and I were trying to decide whether to have a third child or not. And since both my kids and my eggs were getting older, a decision needed to be made. We’d had our first two in our twenties, neck-deep in full-time work, graduate school, and not much money to our name. I had a bit of a romantic fantasy about having a third child under better circumstances like steady jobs and more square footage. I’d walk past the little girls’ clothing section in stores and get a pang in my ovaries. Was this a sign?

One afternoon we were attending my older son’s middle school basketball game. I sat near my friend Marianne whose son was playing for the other team. We were newish friends at this point, but I enjoyed her quick laugh and her straight-shooting manner. While we were visiting and cheering on our middle schoolers, Marianne was deftly wrangling her two little boys, ages 2 and 3. One dropped his sippy cup under the bleachers, the other was demanding more goldfish crackers. At one point, both of them were writhing on the gym floor, unhappy with each other, life in general, and overdue for a nap. I believe one of the sippy cups had been thrown at the other’s head. They were so adorable.

“They’re so adorable,” I said to her. Or maybe my ovaries said to her.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“They’re just so cute,” I said. Then, to explain myself, “We’re trying to decide if we want another one.”

Suddenly Marianne was transformed. Her previously frazzled and semi-distracted state transformed into the stillness and clarity of an oracle. She looked me square in the eye.

“Don’t. Do. It.” she said.

I laughed.

“I’m completely serious,” she said. “Don’t do it. I’m on the other side now. I’ve been you, and I’m telling you, you have no idea how good you’ve got it.”

My smile faded. She was serious.

“Listen,” she said, “I love the little guys and I’d never trade them, but if you’re really on the fence, I’m here to remind you that you’ve done the hard work, the diapers, the sleepless nights, the car seats. Do you really want to go back?”

It was a good question, and I thought about it a lot over weeks and months after that. If I was honest with myself, the third child idea was more about getting all the things out of child-rearing that I didn’t get the first two times around, namely a girl and the means to dress her well. Ultimately, I decided those weren’t good reasons to have another baby. Plus, I had grown quite accustomed to sleeping through the night. It was kinda my thang.

So I got knocked up on Pinterest instead. I created a Pinterest board titled, “My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter,” and began curating the Third Child and the Third Child Life I’d wanted. I named her Quinoa. I dressed her well. And I found that it completely satiated the thirst I’d had inside.

As it turns out, imaginary children:

• do not interrupt sleep
• require no diaper changes
• do not emit strange noises, smells or fluids
• have no food allergies
• can be overindulged without regret
• can be left unattended for hours, days, and even weeks at a time
• never spill grape juice on your silk dress
• never repeat your favorite four-letter words in front of the grandparents

I was really onto something. And then, quite literally overnight, the world was onto me. In June 2013, my Pinterest board went viral. Quinoa suddenly had countless new friends all over the world. Within a few months, I had a book deal, a lifelong dream come true. And nine months after that, I held the book in my arms for the first time. I looked it over with the same wonder that I had my newborn sons. Instead of counting toes, I counted pages. They were all there. I smelled it. And just like that intoxicating newborn scent, the industrial perfume of the paper made me want to do it again and again.

If I’d had another real child, I have no doubt that I’d be enjoying him or her, doing my best to live out that romanticized version I’d had in my head, but I’m glad I took the road less traveled this time. In the end, my imaginary daughter has required just as much work as my two sons. And like raising my sons, the process of bringing her to life (in book form) has taught me an awful lot about myself. What is it the Rolling Stones said? You can’t always get what you want, but sometimes, well, you might get what you need.

There comes a point in every kid’s life when he has a revelatory Summer moment: in lieu of asking Dad for cash and running after the ice cream truck (exhausting), he realizes he can freeze his candy bars (efficient)! Of course, Snickers caught on to this trend and started making ice cream bars, but nothing beats the simplicity of the original. So in the spirit of Summers past, we staged the ultimate frozen candy bar showdown — and the best part? Everyone wins.

To do it, we asked our Dads for money. Then we bought two of every popular candy bar in the store, froze one, and kept the other at room temperature. Then we tasted ’em both and decided once and for all which frozen one reigns supreme. Here’s what we found:

9. PayDay
Room temperature: Salty. Chewy. Peanuty. Not a whole lot of candy in this candy bar.
Frozen: The frozen PayDay is so hard that Willy Wonka could’ve built his factory out of it. It is impenetrably chewy and has absolutely no give whatsoever. Not recommended for people who like their smile the way it is currently.
Winner: Neither. PayDay sucks.

More: The 21 best ice cream shops in America

8. Milky Way
Room temperature: I’ve always thought of Milky Way as Snickers’ less cool, younger brother, and that stands up to scrutiny. There’s just something lacking — Snickers has peanuts, but, here, there’s nothing to break up the gooey textural monotony. Don’t get me wrong; it’s good, just not great.
Frozen: Chewier than the room temperature version, to be sure, but that’s really all that differs. Whereas some of the other caramel or nougat centers became crispy and brittle when frozen, Milky Way just became a bit sludgier. A bit of a disappointment.
Winner: Room temperature. Warmer nougat means a smoother ride.

7. Kit Kat
Room temperature: The slight meltiness of the chocolate here works to the wafer’s advantage. Kit Kat is one of my favorite candy bars because of its simplicity, and, at room temperature, it’s just about perfect.
Frozen: Unfortunately, the ingredients feel more isolated in frozen form, and the brittleness of the wafer when it is so cold makes it feel altogether less substantial, like there’s nothing to it. I can feel the air a lot more, which would be a nice thing if we were in Spaceballs, but we’re not. Still a pleasurable eating experience.
Winner: Room temperature. Keep your Kit Kats outta the freezer.

6. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
Room temperature: Standard meltiness on the peanut butter. Velvety consistency.
Frozen: You can better notice the powderiness of the peanut butter formula here, but the package still works as a whole — in fact, the colder peanut butter actually tasted richer for some reason, and made me crave a glass of milk. It should be noted, too, that with the frozen Reese’s cup I got a perfectly clean separation from the wax paper. Beautiful.
Winner: Either. Reese’s are always good, no matter the temperature.

5. York Peppermint Pattie
Room temperature: The mint is refreshing and jelly-like, and I’m just now realizing that this is basically a giant Junior Mint. A Senior Mint, if you will.
Frozen: I had high hopes for this one, and reality stood up to them relatively well. The frozen version resembles a hockey puck in a weirdly appetizing, wintry-themed way. The chewiness of the frozen version makes it feel almost like a frozen Thin Mint, which is awesome if you’ve ever tried that. The mintiness and the coldness make me feel clean for some reason… I might not even have to brush my teeth tonight! (But I will, or else Dad won’t give me my allowance.)
Winner: Room temperature. Frozen is good, but nothing beats the texture of the mint when the pattie’s been out for a while.

See the top 4 candy bars worth sticking in the freezer — all on Thrillist.com!

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You can’t fit new love into a heart that’s already full of love… or something else, any more than you can fit a new wardrobe into an already over-flowing closet.

To the extent you want to welcome new love into your heart and life, you must consider letting go of all of the anger, hatred and homicidal thoughts you have for your ex.

My daughter is really upset with someone right now, and I was explaining to her today that forgiveness is an inside act. The other person doesn’t even have to know you’ve forgiven them. You don’t have to invite them over for Thanksgiving dinner, or spend hours on the phone with them, or even be more than cordial to them when you see them.

But keep this in mind, holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting another person to die.

And all the while you’re pissed off at your ex, you are literally vibrating at a speed that’s less than attractive to someone you just might really want to have in your life.

Any new love interest is going to run from the person who is someone else’s bitter ex. They don’t want to hear how you’ve been done wrong. Or how they were a jerk and you were {are?} a victim.

Nope, nope, nope.

Your prospective partner is interested to know how you’ll treat them if someday they become your ex!

A new love interest is going to be most intrigued by the person who can cordially communicate with their ex. If that same person (you) can speak with respect to and about that man or woman, imagine how attractive they will be! They become the ultimate in potential mates because they’re clearly past that previous relationship and ready for someone new.

Is that person you? Are you ready?

—

Honorée Corder is the author of If Divorce is a Game, These are the Rules.

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP) — North Carolina budget talks puttered along Monday as House Republicans held a public one-sided negotiations meeting and Gov. Pat McCrory tried to keep pressure on senators to trim their teacher pay proposal.

The House budget negotiators met publicly in a committee room to talk about their differences with the Senate on key education and Medicaid positions. Their Senate counterparts, who already said they wouldn’t attend a similar meeting last Friday, weren’t at this meeting, either. The two chambers wanted to get budget adjustments to McCrory’s desk two weeks ago, when the new fiscal year began July 1, but the discussions have bogged down.

With the name placards of senators perched in front of empty seats, the House members spent an hour reiterating how the two sides disagree on teacher pay, teacher assistants and Medicaid eligibility. They said the Senate’s latest offer could still eliminate jobs for thousands of teacher assistants in second- and third-grade classrooms and eliminate some services for tens of thousands of Medicaid recipients.

“We stayed focused just on the facts and what the implications are for a number of these decisions,” said Rep. Nelson Dollar, R-Wake, senior co-chairman of the House Appropriations Committee. Dollar said they had rescheduled Friday’s meeting until Monday to a time more convenient for Senate negotiators, who were invited.

McCrory threatened last week to veto any plan that contains the Senate’s proposal to raise teacher pay by more than 11 percent on average because it would result in deep cuts elsewhere. He’s now backing the House’s teacher pay proposal, which offers average 6 percent raises and the first step in McCrory’s initiative to develop differentiated pay plans for veteran and high-quality instructors.

“I want a long term teacher compensation plan, not just a one-year political hit that looks good for the next election,” McCrory told WFAE radio in Charlotte on Monday. “I want a plan that lasts for a decade or two, that is dependable, reliable and makes sense on which teachers and rewarded and, frankly, which ones aren’t.”

Senate leaders contend they have offered many concessions to the House members, including easing up on Medicaid reserves to deal with potential shortfalls this year and removing from the 11 percent pay raise a requirement that teachers must give up their job-protection career status.

Senate Rules Chairman Tom Apodaca, R-Henderson, said he didn’t receive an invitation to attend Monday’s meeting but said he and other Senate Republicans are working on a new offer for release very soon. He declined to describe the proposed teacher pay increase but said “it’s a good one. I’d take it.”

According to Dollar, the House and Senate remain about $177.5 million apart on net reductions to public education and the Department of Health and Human Services and about $100 million apart on compensation for state employees. For rank-and-file employees, the House has offered $1,000 raises. The Senate has offered $809 raises.

House Speaker Thom Tillis, R-Mecklenburg, said all chamber members have been asked to return for Wednesday’s floor session after most have been away from Raleigh for nearly two weeks. Tillis said the full House may vote on bills unrelated to the budget.

 The Android Wear devices currently available let you respond to texts as well as read them – but they employ either voice-based input or canned responses to do so, and neither is entirely ideal. A whole host of alternative keyboard makers will likely try to deliver alternate solutions, but Minuum is among the first to offer a working solution. In the video above, you can see how it… Read More