Hasta La Gadget!

In many predictable ways having a second child has changed my mothering — for example, increasing my forgetfulness while simultaneously decreasing my reservoir of patience. My second child has just reached his first birthday and with that celebratory occasion came a mountain of realizations for me about the differences between baby number one and baby number two.

My first son experienced a super hippy-dippy all natural, free range, organic in utero stay at club pregnancy complete with massage, meditation, mantras, yoga, ultra vegan vitamins, 9+ hours of sleep every night, and a mother who read nothing but birthing manuals and How To parenting books.

My second son experienced a super laid back, occasional fast food burger, sometimes a glass of red wine, never a moment’s peace, 6 hours of sleep a night stay at the Motel 6 version of pregnancy complete with a wild three-year-old sucking up all of mom and dad’s time and energy.

My first son was born after 21 ½ hours of agonizing natural labor and surrounded by two midwives, four nurses, a doctor, and more than a dozen family members pacing the halls, waiting room, and delivery room all with camera’s ready for action.

My second son was born after several loopy hours of pain-free labor followed by a C-Section surrounded by a couple of nurses, a doctor, and his poor exhausted father. A sympathetic nurse took a blurry picture of our son’s arrival.

My first son had all organic, gender-neutral clothing purchased from (mostly) local vendors with low carbon footprints.

My second son had all hand-me-downs from his older brother, the neighbors, his cousins, and family friends. More than half of these hand-me-downs were tie-dyed to hide stains.

My first son had a baby book that was dutifully filled out with complimentary photo albums, letters to him for future dates, and a crisp dollar bill that symbolized the start of his college fund.

My second son had a gag-gift baby book that documented inappropriate milestones like the first time he pooped on me or the first time he spit up on dad. Only two pages are filled out. His college fund was started on a Thursday afternoon in between a dentist appointment and grocery shopping and with a lack of fuss and symbolic gesture.

My first son was the Guinea pig for test running a variety of parenting styles that ran the gamut of never saying no, to yelling, to timeouts, to never yelling, to realizing that timeouts don’t work. We landed firmly on sticking with a minimum of four basic house rules that cover respect, dignity, love, and compassion.

My second son has benefitted from his older brother having broken us in as parents. On the one hand we are confident that his toddlerhood will go smoother now that we are seasoned parents. On the other hand, this kid might bring us some hell we hadn’t thought of or experienced yet.

My first son had three solid years of being an only child and was able to experience a world that catered to his every whim and need and fancy. As a result he is a fabulous big brother (with a few lingering jealousy issues) who knows in his bones that his is loved.

My second son has rarely experienced alone time with dad and me. Every chance we get to spend with him alone has been interrupted by the antics of his older brother. As a result, our sons have forged a tight friendship and strong sibling bond of love.

My first son has a room filled to the gills with every ridiculous toy you can imagine.

My second son has what passes for a nursery that is filled with boxes of leftovers from his older brother. Downstairs in the living room he has a basket with a handful of new toys from his big birthday bashpalooza, but his older brother keeps stealing them.

This list could go on endlessly. Forever. And it probably will as time flies ever faster into the future. My children are as different as night and day. My first son saw the newness in everything from parental experience to toys and clothes and the bendability of household rules. My second son lives in the land of leftovers, but is equally showered in love.

This blog post is part of a series for HuffPost Moments Not Milestones, entitled ‘The Moment I Stopped Being Perfect.’ To see all the other posts in the series, click here.

In his photo series Time Sliced, photographer Richard Silver captures day fading into night. It’s a unique look at the life of building and how it changes over time as the sky darkens and lights turn on and people leave and come back again.

Read more…

To call Devo legends would be an understatement, for their music is far beyond anything of normal comprehension and legendary musical status. Devo has always been and continue to be revolutionary. Take a listen to any modern pop song on the radio these days and you will hear a Devo influence. When the band formed in Ohio in 1973, they had significant hardcore and punk roots, then, as the 70’s came to a close and the 80’s beckoned, they transformed into one of the most influential and brilliant New Wave / pop acts of the era. Their innovation, coupled with their amazing music videos, notably, “Whip It,” as well as their tour-de-force live shows have made them one of the most important American bands of all-time. From Lady Gaga to Arcade Fire to Pearl Jam to Green Day to Madonna, the influence and impact of Devo can be felt and heard.

Now, using the direct-to-fan platform, PledgeMusic, the band are releasing a live DVD / CD of their recent Oakland, California, performance at the Fox Theater called, Hardcore Devo. As the band gear up the special release, I spoke to bassist Gerald Casale about their legacy, working with PledgeMusic, and history.

When this band formed in 1972, did you think this would last as long as it has?

I never thought about predicting the arc of our journey at all. The best laid plans of mice and men.

Every decade of existence, Devo has influenced a new generation of musicians and fans, how do you feel about that?

That fact is one of the most satisfying bits of our history.

When you look back on the legacy of this band, what do you think?

Despite the missed opportunities and critical backlash, we prevailed against all odds leaving an indelible mark on pop culture if nothing more than placing the idea of cultural de-evolution in the minds of millions.

The band had it’s roots in hardcore before crafting what would become New Wave, this past year, you revisited the hardcore roots. What was it like going back to that?

It was Devo going face to face with its past, a kind of devolved version of primal scream therapy.

The band’s live shows are just as amazing as they were when you first started, how do you keep up the energy for so long?!

Devo is and was real. The songs have substance. When we play we tap into the origins of our creativity. It’s a ritual not unlike going to church.

Your latest release, a live album / DVD of “Hardcore Devo” is going directly through the direct to fan platform, PledgeMusic. What made you decide to take this route?

Given the obscure aesthetic of the songs we were performing it made absolute sense to use this platform to reach our fan base (hardcore Devo fans).

With PledgeMusic and other artist-to-fan sites and platforms offering new ways for fans to connect with their artists, do you think this is where music production is going? The fans will now act as the bands / executives funding an artists project?

Much has been written about this trend. All astute pundits agree this is the direction content providers are headed.

After the passing of your brother Bob, Devo decided to soldier on. How?

It’s funny you would use that term “Soldier on.” In the beginning we presented our manifesto to the world and asked people to join the Devolutionary Army. It was tongue-in-cheek of course but not without serious intent. When one of your men goes down you pick up his rifle and keep shooting as best you can. You fight the good fight creatively as long as you can. That’s an artist’s first and foremost duty to stay true to their vision.

Given that your music is electronic and the ever-changing landscape of technology we are in, do you, as a musician even find it difficult to keep up with how fast technology changes? Do you still use some gear from back when you started?

As they say, the more things change the more they stay the same. In pop music the 7 year cycle, the 12 year cycle and the 20 year cycles are well documented. How would The White Stripes have thrived otherwise? And when Jack White moved on The Black Keys were there 7 years later to continue the retro trends. Now the audience is disappointed unless we appear with our mini-moogs and other analogue gear that they cream for two 20 year cycles later.

Devo released their latest album in 2010, is there talk of a new album?

The travesty of Warner Brother’s failure in bringing that album to market was so traumatic we probably will never release another album. We worked very hard for 2 years on those songs and we worked with the brilliant agency, Mother New York, on a dadaistic ad campaign that was totally in keeping with Devo’s piss-take on all that is sacred. It was a campaign that made fun of ad campaigns, the band and the label in a way that had people asking “are they serious” the same way they did in 1978. But then came the corporate second guessing and blowback. There was no one in our corner going to radio or sustaining the vision. I hit a wall and shriveled in pain. We may still release music but not in a typical way.

What is next for you and the band?

Assisted Living?

A Version of This Interview Appears on www.officiallyayuppie.com

At a recent speaking event, a brave woman stood up and said to me, “G, can you tell us about your worst mom moment?”

“Shoot. No.” I said. “I can’t. I’d like to, but I really can’t here. I’ll get us in trouble.”

But I can tell you here. I probably shouldn’t, but this story is begging me to tell it so here we are. The stories are the bosses of me.

ONLY READ THIS ESSAY IF:

1. You do not get upset about accidental swearing at children.

2. You enjoy essays with absolutely no take away. No lesson, no tips, nothing.

3. You watched “Breaking Bad” and maybe had a teeny weeny itty bitty bad boy crush on Jesse — like perhaps you found yourself deciding that meth dealing and repeated murder aren’t TOTAL deal breakers at all, really. Nobody’s perfect, after all.

All right — if you’re still here — let’s do this.

A few months ago Craig and I started watching “Breaking Bad” every night. We loved “Breaking Bad” — even though Craig would often reach over and manually close my mouth which hung wide open in utter shock during all the hours of that series. I found the show to be quite upsetting in all the best ways. So every night we got the kids to bed as quickly as possible and burrowed into our little slice of heaven which is our snuggly green couch and BAM — all the drama would unfold in front of our tired eyes.

One afternoon during that time — I found myself in the family room playing Uno with my daughters. I was there with the girls — but not really there with them — if you know what I mean. Because I was playing Uno. With a kindergartener and a second grader who mostly hate each other because they have not yet discovered that their angsty, conflicted, passionate feelings regarding each other are really love. So they fight and they fight and then when they are done fighting they plan their next fight. I know that there are spiritual people who insist that staying in the moment is heaven, but those people have never played Uno with my daughters. Playing Uno with my daughters could certainly be compared to an afterworld, but I might point you towards the other one. The one with the fire and torture and wailing and gnashing of teeth and ruing the day you were born. And so my body was there playing cards but my mind was thinking about Jesse and how on earth this sweet boy was going to get out of these unfortunate meth/murder situations he kept finding himself in due to no fault of his precious own.

All of a sudden, I was snapped out of my daydream and back to my senses by someone tapping me on the leg and saying: “Your turn.” Since most of the time I live in my head — this moment is the story of my life. This moment when I’m happily lost inside my mind world and someone in my physical world tries to bring me back to the present — so I have to quickly figure out who I’m with, where I am, and what’s going on. This is why we daydreaming introverts seem constantly dazed and confused. We are like scuba divers who are down in the deep on a quiet treasure hunt but are constantly being yanked back up above water. It takes us some time to surface and reorient.

Searching for a clue — I looked down at my hand and saw one Uno card sitting in my palm. This was a GREAT clue! I was playing Uno, apparently! And Look! I only had one card left! Which meant I was WINNING! Ba-Bam! And before I had any clue what I was doing — I held my card in the air and yelled:

“UNO, BITCHES!“

I yelled Uno, bitches, at my 5-year-old and 7-year-old daughters. I called my daughters bitches. With great glee and gusto. In the middle of a family card game.

Somehow — I had subconsciously channeled Jesse. Jesse says that, not me. I don’t call people bitches. I do curse, actually. But more like a sailor and less like Paris Hilton. And normally not at my very small, precious, pigtailed children. Maybe AROUND them accidentally — like when I can’t get the front door open or drop something on my toe – but not AT them. Unless they secretly eat my ice cream, of course. But what I’m saying is — barely ever.

You guys. The “UNO BITCHES!” hung in the air like one of those word clouds. It just SAT THERE while we all stared at it silently.

I looked up and Craig was standing in the door jam. This was his face, which I asked him to re-enact for this retelling.

I stared back at him like this.

And then I forced myself to look at my girls — who were watching me exactly how I watch Breaking Bad — mouths hung open, eyes wide, frozen stiff.

Sorry, I said.

So sorry.

Sorry about all that.

And that was all. Because I really couldn’t explain Breaking Bad Scuba Diving to them. Couldn’t.

I won Uno.

And we went about our business.

That’s it. I will not be wrapping this story up with a bow and a nice lesson and a take-away. I got nothing for you.

I called my sweet girls bitches. And even so, I’ll have you know that Amazon calls me an official parenting expert. And so here’s the thing: if you do not call your children bitches — I imagine that you must be some sort of parenting GURU. Good for YOU. Really. Well done.

There you go — there’s your take away. You are an AMAZING parent. Go forth today with great parental confidence and dignity, bitches.

Love,
G (Parenting expert)

This post originally appeared on Momastery.

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LOS ANGELES (AP) — Southern California senior cornerback Josh Shaw injured both ankles after leaping from a second-story balcony to save his 7-year-old nephew, Carter, from drowning in a pool.

Shaw was named a team captain on Saturday and later that night was attending a family function at a cousin’s apartment in his hometown of Palmdale when he saw his nephew, who can’t swim, struggling in the pool. With no one around, Shaw told USC’s website that he instinctively jumped from the balcony onto the concrete below and crawled to the pool, where he pulled Carter to safety. Unable to step out of the pool because of the pain in his ankles, Shaw lifted himself up the ladder with his upper body.

“I would do it again for whatever kid it was, it did not have to be my nephew,” Shaw told the team website. “My ankles really hurt, but I am lucky to be surrounded by the best trainers and doctors in the world. I am taking my rehab one day at a time, and I hope to be back on the field as soon as possible.”

Shaw was taken to the hospital where he was diagnosed with two high ankle sprains and will be out indefinitely. He said Carter was traumatized, but physically in good shape.

“That was a heroic act by Josh, putting his personal safety aside,” Trojans coach Steve Sarkisian said. “But that’s the kind of person he is. It is unfortunate that he’ll be sidelined for a while and we will miss his leadership and play, but I know he’ll be working hard to get back on the field as soon as possible.”