The Price Tag for Employee Loyalty

The job market is picking up and workers are taking the chance to reassess their employment situation. Even in an unfulfilling job situation, though, women are less likely to jump ship than men. Staying put comes at a financial price and, turns out, it’s a substantial one.

Take a client of mine, we’ll call her Jody. Jody grew up professionally with a successful Seattle startup, started in an administrative role and moved up the ranks until she eventually took the helm as Marketing Director.

When Jody came to me, it was immediately clear that she wasn’t being paid like the Marketing Director she was. Her bosses would say things like, “You’re a great part of the team and we’d hate to lose you. Your time is coming.” But when was that time coming? She’d been loyally waiting for the better part of 10 years.

The Financial Cost of Staying True

The average pay raise for 2014 is expected to hover around a mere 2.9%. Employees who shoot for competitor offers, meanwhile, can rack up raises of 10 – 20% (or more). If every time you switch companies you have the chance to renegotiate pay, it stands to reason that those with more mobile careers have salaries that trend toward the top ends of ranges.

The problem? Women are so loyal that they often stay in jobs longer than they should.

Overcoming Unnecessary Loyalty

Jody isn’t alone in feeling an obligation to her employer. Women tend to recognize the investment their employer made in them and they want to repay it. In Jody’s case, she didn’t realize that she had long ago repaid her boss just by doing a stellar job during the previous 10 years.

Meanwhile, employers can become complacent about raises, particularly when they don’t see an immediate need. So, what can you do to help your boss recognize your worth to the company and revisit your compensation?

With Jody, I had her to go to each colleague, former boss and employee and ask them to fill out a performance assessment. Her goal was to get written confirmation of how well she functions within the team and, ultimately, how important her contributions are to the company.

What About My Employee Benefits?

Even so, Jody was hesitant about approaching her bosses. She had great employee benefits like health insurance, a 401(k) match and valuable employee stock options. She’d been with the startup almost from the beginning so she had a larger portfolio of stock options than many of her peers. “Some people don’t have it as good as me,” she told me, “because I’ve been here so long.”

What Jody didn’t realize is that different compensation structures work for different purposes. Salary is awarded in exchange for doing a proficient job. Stock options, on the other hand, are intended to reward employee loyalty. She’d been loyal to the company and had thus been rewarded fairly. She’d also performed her work functions proficiently and her boss had a separate financial obligation to that.

What If They Still Won’t Budge on Salary?

Recruitment and training costs for a high level position can top $20,000 – $30,000. If Jody isn’t able to convince her boss she was worth more to the company than her replacement cost, I suggested she start exploring other job options. If your employer doesn’t recognize your market value, I told her, it’s time to find someone else who will.

The One Thing Every Couple Should Do Post-Wedding

You hear it said when giving a gift that “It’s the thought that counts.” However, when it comes to saying thank you, you must do more than think happy thoughts toward the gift-giver.

No matter how times have changed and how the rules of etiquette have evolved, one important guideline remains (and shall endure): A thank you note is something every gift recipient should send and every gift giver expects.

When my children were growing up we had a strict rule: If a gift was received, prior to it ever being used, a thank you had to be sent. So, if you wanted to play with that toy, or video game, or wear that new Disneyland sweatshirt, you’d have to sit down for a few minutes–which, when you think about it, is comparatively so much less time that it probably took for the gift to be thought about, decided upon and ultimately given–and tell that person how much you appreciated his or her thought and gesture. It is something they still do and are appreciated for as adults.

Discipline promotes performance. If you are strict about this rule‚ not only with your children but with yourself, you’ll soon understand that the small investment of time it takes to fire off the thank you far outweighs the value of actual gift itself.

And when we are specifically referring to wedding gifts (or bridal shower and engagement presents), if is often looked upon as ungrateful if a thank you note is not written and sent promptly. Here you are entering a new phase of life for which one is expected to be mature enough to enter, and if a thank you note is not received, one has to wonder if in fact you have the social graces that should come with this new status. May sound old-fashioned but it’s true.

You don’t have to write a novel. Start off with a lovely piece of stationary. If anything, the beauty of the paper will inspire you (and make the recipient feel special). The stationary need not be personalized–though you may want to consider that option–but it can be something appropriately decorative that reflects your style. It should be noted that handwritten thank yous are still the version of choice, however, it is more and more acceptable to send an email nowadays. (Perhaps not for your older gift-givers who will expect pen on paper.)

Start it off with the appropriate salutation of Dear So-and-so. Let the person know that you are appreciative of the thought (or if it was money, of the generosity) that he or she obviously put into the choice of gift, even those selected from a bridal registry. Let them know how you and your new husband (or wife) look forward to using it or enjoying it in your new home. Let them know they were missed at the wedding (or shower, or other wedding-related event) or that it was so wonderful that they participated in your celebration. Wish them the best and sign off with a heartfelt thank you. That’s all there is to it.

The most important part of writing thank you notes is actually getting yourself to sit down and write them. Do not put it off! If you implement the aforementioned rule of not using a gift until you write your thank you, you’ll find that you’ll get the notes off much more quickly than many of your friends. But in the event you don’t follow the rule, then mark your calendar for a maximum delay of no more than three months from the date of receipt of the gift! The thinking that you have a year after your wedding to send a thank you (or to send a gift to others for that matter) is no longer true.

Whether your note gives a simple acknowledgment that the gift arrived, or gushes over how it was the most perfect gift ever, if the note isn’t received in a timely fashion, the giver is left wondering. So one might say that thank you notes offer closure, in addition to gratitude. At the very least, those who take the time to send you gifts deserve that courtesy.

The Parents Of Trayvon Martin And Jordan Davis Are Helping Michael Brown's Family Cope

The families of unarmed black teenagers who died in high-profile cases have come to support and rely on one another.

6 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Having Plastic Surgery

From breast implants to nose jobs to liposuction, millions of people are opting for cosmetic surgery. Before you go under the knife, Dr. Phil suggests that you consider the following questions:

1. Do the positive possible medical advantages exceed the possible complications?
All medical procedures have the potential for serious complications. You should obtain more than one opinion — preferably three — about the advantages, concerns, recovery, etc.

2. Have you considered alternative approaches?
For many issues with surgical solutions, there are alternatives that are based on discipline and motivation. Have you tried all of the behavioral and alternative approaches available to you, like exercise and diet? If plastic surgery is just an easy way for you to avoid diet and exercise, think again. Also, if you are young, having surgery could be premature because you haven’t finished growing and developing.

3. Do you depend on external sources for your self-esteem?
If you are thinking about plastic surgery because of vanity, and you believe your self-esteem rests on the outcome of the surgery, you may not be a good candidate. Surgery might make you feel better for a period of time, but self-esteem has nothing to do with external beauty. You may have work to do in terms of defining your authentic self and learning to love who you are — regardless of your appearance.

4. What are your expectations?
What do you expect in terms of the surgery itself and the recovery period? What do you think will happen if the surgery is a success? What will change in your life? Think about the end result before you take such a drastic step. Will it really solve what you hope it will?

5. Are your expectations realistic?
Ask yourself if your expectations are pure fantasy. Will anything really be different in your life after you’ve had surgery? Are you expecting people to be more accepting of you simply because you’ve altered your appearance? Do you believe that surgery will help you gain some form of success that you perceive as unattainable otherwise? Be honest. Will this really make a positive difference in your life?

6. Will surgery help you reach reasonable goals?
Are there any feasible goals that surgery could help you attain, such as alleviating back pain with a breast reduction surgery? If you are expecting plastic surgery to change everything about your personality and/or self-esteem, you could be very disappointed. But if your goals will likely be reached after a medical procedure, that’s a significant consideration.

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TGIT Ratings Prove Thursday Really is Shonda Rhimes' Night

Shonda Rimes owns Thursday nights. ABC marketed Thursday’s new lineup as #TGIT, airing Rhimes’ three shows, “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal” and newcomer “How to Get Away with Murder.” The grouping paid off.

The Season 11 premiere of “Grey’s Anatomy” opened the night at 8:00 p.m. with 9.8 million viewers and a 3.0 rating in the desirable 18-49 demographic. The Season 4 premiere of “Scandal,” starting at 9:00 p.m., garnered 11.9 million viewers and a 3.8 rating. But the big surprise was “How to Get Away with Murder,” starring Viola Davis as a law professor. The freshman drama captured an outstanding 14 million viewers and the same in-demo rating as “Scandal.”

Rhimes’ new show — written and created by Pete Nowalk — is up 33 percent from last year’s “Scandal” season opener, then in the 10:00 p.m. time slot. According to reports, Sept. 25 was ABC’s biggest Thursday night in five years. All hail Shondaland.

I Make 6 Figures — And I Still Wouldn't Send My Kids to Private School

In our Money Mic series, we hand over the podium to people with controversial views about money. These are their views, not ours, but we welcome your responses.

Today, one father explains why he was adamant about sending his kids to public school — despite being a member of the $250K salary club.

Getting a good education in Los Angeles is no easy feat. Just ask any parent, and they’ll tell you: Schools in the area are pretty hit or miss.

The desirable ones — schools that tout heavy parent involvement and impressive graduation rates — are just as common as the relative horror shows with underfunded programs, overworked faculty and kids with behavior problems.

And that’s exactly why my wife, Leanne, and I started researching the best neighborhoods and districts to move into well before our two children, Kimberly and Sam, were ready to start kindergarten some 20 years ago. We looked for stable communities, nice neighbors and close proximity to places we frequented — ultimately settling on Burbank because it fit all of our criteria.

Another factor that was at the top of our list? We were only interested in sending our kids to public schools.

In fact, even though Leanne and I could have afforded private tuition payments on our combined $250,000 income as a lawyer and a publicist, that kind of education was completely out of the question.

RELATED: Does Where You Raise Kids Change the Way You Parent? 

Why I’m So Pro Public School
Growing up in a working class, blue-collar Milwaukee town, I came up through the public school system. Heck, everyone in my neighborhood did. And looking back on my education, I’m confident it was a good one.

As I approached my college years, my decision to attend the University of Wisconsin — another publicly-funded school — was a no-brainer. Why pay an arm and a leg at a private institution when there was a great school nearby at a fraction of the price?

My time at UW cost me roughly $500 to $700 a semester, which I paid for by working about 35 hours a week in customer service at The Milwaukee Journal. My parents helped as much as they could, but I ultimately had to take out a $2,000 loan to finance my studies — a number I imagine would have been much higher had I opted for private school.

RELATED: How I Saved $70,000 to Send Two Kids to College

When Leanne, my college sweetheart, and I moved out to L.A. after graduating in 1985, I couldn’t help but notice a very different educational system than the one I’d grown up in. For starters, there were far more private schools than public ones, which was especially true in more upscale areas. Second, the available public school options varied greatly from neighborhood to neighborhood — particularly as it related to the quality of teachers.

But even though private schools were easier to find and probably represented a great educational choice for some parents, going that route simply wasn’t something Leanne — a product of the public school system, as well — and I ever entertained.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t have an ax to grind with private schools. In fact, I have no problem with private education… except for what it does to public schools.

In my opinion, more private schools in a particular area equals fewer resources for neighboring public ones. Think about it: If I were already spending $20,000 a year to send a kid to private school, would I really feel inclined to support a referendum to replace infrastructure and install new air conditioners in public schools?

I also can’t help but feel that it’s very cyclical: Public schools get less and less support, and as a result, parents feel forced to enroll their kids in private schools.

In a nutshell, I’ve always felt that when the community has a vested interest in making public schools the best they can be, those schools will excel. After all, our society is only as good as its education system.

Another public school positive that I value is the culturally enriching experience they offer. In the private schools here in L.A., everybody’s showing up in a BMW or Mercedes. Some parents consider these private schools to be a nice, secure environment for their kids, and I understand that. The majority of people in my social and professional circles went the private school route, and I respected their decisions — the same way they respected mine. But I wanted Kimberly and Sam to be exposed to other socioeconomic statuses.

After all, we don’t live in a bubble, so I wanted my kids to benefit from knowing people they otherwise wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet. Plus, I believe that socializing at an early age with people from all walks of life better prepares you to thrive in a diversified work setting as an adult. In a private school, kids are exposed to other kids just like themselves.

But, at the end of the day, what I love most about public schools is that enrolling Kimberly and Sam turned out to be a choice I didn’t regret. Even when we were confronted with a real obstacle, the public school system didn’t let us down.

RELATED: Why It’s O.K. to Let Kids Fail: A Guide to Not Overparenting

Paving Our Path Through the Public School System
While Kimberly always excelled academically, we noticed that Sam started to struggle in middle school. Naturally, Leanne and I were worried, but we wanted to give him the chance to improve on his own. When that didn’t happen, we sought out counseling, testing and other assessments for him — but it didn’t seem to help that much. By the time Sam was a high school freshman, he was having a hard time keeping up with his peers.

For the first time, Leanne and I started to wonder: Is Sam a kid who truly needs a specialized academic setting in order to thrive? If the public school system couldn’t meet his needs, we decided that moving him to a private school would be our Plan B.

Fortunately, we got to stick with Plan A. Leanne and I scheduled a meeting with Sam’s school and expressed our concerns about his performance. And we were happy to initiate the conversation because we believe that it’s the parents’ responsibility — not a teacher’s — to keep tabs on a child’s academic performance. To our relief, we were met with receptive teachers who put together an individualized education plan for him, which included extra time on tests and additional tutoring on subjects he didn’t understand.

We were impressed and pleased with the teachers who took the time to understand why Sam wasn’t absorbing the material as quickly as other students. And once that was addressed, I saw my son enjoying school again and finally excelling.

The whole process really underscored my belief that if you want to have a positive experience in public school, you have to ask for it — and work for it yourself. If I was a parent who simply sat back and refused to ask teachers to rally for my son, Sam may have very well slipped through the cracks and skated through the system.

What’s more, the public school advantages we enjoyed weren’t only academic. Another major benefit was the opportunity it gave my kids to experience more of life. Instead of paying thousands of dollars a year in private tuition, I had money in my budget to send Kimberly on trips to Europe — France, Switzerland and more — during middle school and high school.

By the time she got to college, she was a worldwide traveler who’d been exposed to different cultures, traditions and languages — a benefit we really value as a family. I know her experiences helped shape her into the well-rounded person she is today.

As for Sam, a tuition-free budget allowed us to invest more in introspective activities, like father-son fishing trips. Again, I consider these experiences to be beyond valuable to his growth and development — way more than the violin lessons or performing arts activities he may have been exposed to in a private school.

Both Kimberly and Sam loved the opportunities they were afforded as a result of going to public school — and never once expressed feeling resentful about missing out on going to private schools. In fact, I think their positive experiences laid the groundwork for their post-high school plans.

RELATED: 8 Little Investments in Your Kid That Pay Big Dividends

The True Public School Test: College Decision Time
When it came time to apply to college, my children knew my stance: I wanted them to attend public schools. After all, we’d been contributing to the system through property taxes for years, so why not put our already-spent money to good use?

It’s tough to say whether my opinions ultimately influenced Kimberly’s final decision. Even though she applied and was accepted to the University of Southern California and Caltech — both private schools — she ultimately chose to attend UC Irvine for its science and biology programs.

Between tuition, parking passes and dorm expenses, Kimberly’s college education set us back over $100,000. But because I hadn’t been laying out a fortune in private tuition for years, her mother and I were able to cover it all, so she wouldn’t have to graduate with student debt.

As for Sam, he just graduated high school–and hasn’t yet decided what his niche in life will be. He’s not the kind of kid who will make a commitment to a four-year university unless he really feels strongly that it’ll benefit him.

Right now, he’s working on an eco tour on Catalina Island, spending his days running the zip lines, and has never been happier. When the time comes, he’ll most likely attend community college and live at home — which I think is the best option for him.

The truth is that there’s a heavy emphasis nowadays on pushing kids to excel the second they graduate from high school or college, but the majority of them aren’t given the time to take a break and catch their breath.

Sometimes I wonder: If I’d invested a ton of money in private schooling, would I feel more inclined to push my kids into using the education I’d paid so much for? It makes me happy to know that I’m not putting that kind of pressure on my children.

And that only goes to reinforce my feelings about the public school system — and how happy I am with our experience. It feels good to know that I didn’t turn my back on the schools in my community. I’d also like to believe that my heavy involvement in these schools helped pave the way for other kids to get a better public-school education, too.

RELATED: 6 Old-School Habits to Ensure You Raise a Successful Kid

This post originally appeared on LearnVest.

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A Little Less Talk

2014-09-26-AndyHeadShot.jpg This is a guest post by Andy Bryant, executive director of the Segal Family Foundation

Fall in New York City is filled with glitzy events that occupy many of our evenings- no, not Fashion Week- I’m talking about fundraisers and conferences spotlighting global development challenges like the brutal armed conflict in Syria or the invisible scourge of Ebola.

The cool autumn evenings are warmed by all the hot air emanating from panel sessions and small group discussions. Brilliant ideas and best practices can be had for the price of admission from Boston to New York to DC. But what happens when fall is over- when the last plastic champagne flute is swept up along with the last nametag? Usually we get back to business as usual. Funding or implementing the same tried and tired ideas we had in the summer in our respective siloes.

What if it didn’t have to be this way? What if there were ways to pull our heads out of our… respective siloes and truly engage one another to tackle global threats to our humanity?

Could the diverse group of individuals and organizations across the ‘Save the World’ sector play nice with each other? Could there be more listening, less pontificating? More decisiveness, less declaration?

Such spaces exist and I’ll tell you about two of them. Big Bang Philanthropy and Clinton Global Initiative offer our sector the rare space to collaborate and address immediate and monumental challenges facing those in the developing world. For our small team at Segal Family Foundation, the privilege of membership in both spaces is making us smarter, faster, and more decisive in our grant-making towards solutions to Sub Saharan Africa’s greatest challenges. Let’s take a look at one of the greatest challenges facing us today: the Ebola outbreak.

This week marks 6 months since the World Health Organization (W.H.O.) was informed of the first Ebola virus outbreak in Guinea. Also this week, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (C.D.C.) released a study that projects up to 1.4 million people could be infected within four months- a drastic increase from the current case count of nearly 6,000 infected.

What a difference a day can make as cases double every two weeks in a scene straight from Contagion. The people of West African countries where Ebola is rampant- Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone- deserve decisiveness not declaration.

Rather than an outpouring of funding, supplies and volunteers, the region has gotten a litany of excuses, notable only for their diversity… We don’t fund emergencies… we only fund Asia… we need 4-6 months to secure board approval… Fortunately, there are courageous organizations in the region that refuse to shutter their operations and some responsible funders that recognized them.

Big Bang Philanthropy, which we have been a member of since 2011, is comprised of about a dozen funding organizations united in our desire to find and fund the people tackling the most pressing problems of the poor. We are also united by our relatively small capacities, which push us to share resources and work together.

On August 17th, one Big Bang member who had researched the outbreak and its responders put out a very specific request for funding for a Big Bang grantee- Last Mile Health in Liberia. By the end of the month, the membership had stepped up with funding and connections to still more sources of funds for Last Mile Health. The funding, perhaps a half of a million dollars, was not overwhelming in its size but it was timely. This small group of institutional funders, even smaller as individual funders, leveraged our trust and reciprocity to do what small funders should do best: respond quickly, flexibly, and decisively to our partners needs on the ground.

President Clinton built the Clinton Global Initiative (CGI) with his charisma and vision to create a better community of donors and doers. Donors don’t just pontificate and doers don’t just compete with one another. Within CGI’s platform, members make “Commitments to Action” and work together to take lessons learned during the convening and collaborate with one another to implement them.

At this year’s CGI Annual Meeting, several Commitments to Action were made to respond to the Ebola outbreak. Airlines, medical supply companies, and non-governmental organizations came together to offer multidimensional and coordinated plans. Donors have responded with tens of millions of dollars in targeted support in just a few days.

Big Bang Philanthropy and Clinton Global Initiative are, refreshingly, not the only examples of collaboration within the head-scratching cutthroat world of global development. Organizations including the Cordes Foundation’s Opportunity Collaboration and the Skoll World Forum are bringing together the finest thinkers to not only talk, but also to listen and act.

My gratitude goes to the doers- especially those in West Africa combatting what is not a provincial African outbreak but a truly global threat.

Forget Me Not Kid Alarm Reminds You Not to Leave Your Kid in the Car

Despite it sounding improbable, it’s actually a common scenario: You’re rushing off to the grocery to grab a couple of things, you’re hurrying to the bank before it closes – and you get that sinking feeling that you forgot something, but can’t quite remember. It only hits you when you get back to your car: you’ve left your child strapped in the car seat, alone, while you were out doing whatever it is you were doing.

But don’t fret. A system that’ll help you make sure that it never happens again has just been developed, and it’s called the Forget Me Not Kid alarm.

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The system comes with a sensor pad that’s connected to an app on your smartphone. The pad is meant to be placed beneath the car seat, so it can monitor when your child is or isn’t on the car seat. When it detects the parent moving away from the car with the child still in the car seat, an audible and visual alert is displayed on the parent’s phone.

The Forget Me Not Kid alarm system is up for funding on Kickstarter, where a minimum pledge of $100 will get you one of your very own.

[via Damn Geeky]

Star Wars Galactic Defense Coming Soon: Play It, You Will.

I’ve been on this big tower defense game kick of late and have downloaded a number of the games looking for one that I really like. I’ve popped balloons and fought off aliens, but so far, nothing has really caught my attention for long. A new game has been announced as coming soon to Android and iOS called Star Wars Galactic Defense.

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Anything with Star Wars gets my attention, so I am rather excited about this one. You can play as the Dark Side or Light Side of the Force, and there are a bunch of rewards and upgrades for your defenses. One of those rewards is Darth Maul.

Clearly, that would be a Dark Side reward. The game is a free download, or at least will be when it launches. You can bet in-game purchases will be offered as well. The launch date is a mystery right now, but you can sign up on the game’s official website to be alerted when it’s available.

MIT Is Building Anti-Smuggling, Ship-Skimming Robots, So Watch Out Han Solo

MIT-Underwater-Robot-02 The MIT robotics labs provide an endless source of variously amusing, terrifying, and wonderful developments, and today’s is a robot prototype that can scurry across the surface of a ship’s hull, using ultrasound tech to scan for false panels and other secret compartments used by seafaring smugglers. In our version of the future, this means inspections for contraband on… Read More