10 Fabrications Muslim Leaders Need to Stop Making About Ahmadi Muslims

It is no secret I’ve been critical of Muslim leadership for their deafening apathy and silence over the 125-year worldwide persecution of Ahmadi Muslims. To add insult to injury, every time a new atrocity emerges I’m bombarded with standard anti-Ahmadi talking points in a shameless attempt to justify the violence. Just recently in Gujranwala, Pakistan where four Ahmadi Muslims (including three young children) were murdered when their homes were burned down, insults followed the anemic condemnations. Those who bothered acknowledging the attack refused to recognize Ahmadis as Muslims, thus holding the same view as those who attacked and murdered the young children in the first place.

But what resonated loud and clear were classic anti-Ahmadi talking points from Muslim leadership. As one Sunni Muslim friend confessed–his own family told him “not to worry about it” because Ahmadis were “wajib ul qatl” (required to be killed) anyway.

This misinformation and prejudice must stop. If the Muslim world expects to advance in pluralism and tolerance, we must embrace principles over prejudice. This must start from the top, i.e. from Muslim leaders; otherwise Muslim youth have little hope of developing into positive well-rounded individuals. So let’s take things one-step at a time. While this list is certainly not exhaustive, here are ten of the most common fabrications Muslim leaders must stop espousing about Ahmadi Muslims.

Fabrication 1: Ahmadiyya is a new religion

The Ahmadiyya Muslim Community is a sect of Islam. It is not a new religion. It was founded by Mirza Ghulam Ahmad of Qadian in 1889. Ahmad claimed that he was the awaited Messiah and Mahdi prophesized by Prophet Muhammad and foretold by the Holy Qur’an. Muslims who believe in the Messiah, Mirza Ghulam Ahmad of Qadian, are known as Ahmadi Muslims. We adhere to the same Islamic declaration of faith, “There is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger. We likewise observe the same 5 Pillars of Islam and same 6 Articles of Faith.

The only difference in belief is that Ahmadi Muslims believe the awaited Messiah and Mahdi has come in the person of Mirza Ghulam Ahmad of Qadian, while the rest of the Muslim world is awaiting Jesus Christ’s physical descent from heaven (a concept Ahmadi Muslims reject based on their understanding of the Qur’an and ahadeeth).

Bottom Line: Ahmadiyya is not a new religion, it is a sect of Islam.

Fabrication 2: Mirza Ghulam Ahmad claimed to be greater than Prophet Muhammad

In an effort to arouse anger in the minds of unlearned Muslims, clerics make this fabrication often. In reality Ahmad considered himself insignificant compared to the grandeur and majesty of Prophet Muhammad. Ahmadi Muslims believe Prophet Muhammad was the Seal of the Prophets, and therefore God’s greatest creation. Mirza Ghulam Ahmad famously wrote, “The Prophet is Muhammad, the chosen one, who is higher and more exalted than all Prophets and is the most perfect of Messengers and is the Khatam ul Anbiya, and the best of men.”

Bottom Line: The Messiah Ahmad was clear that Prophet Muhammad was the greatest of God’s creation. You can read Ahmad’s extensive writings in praise of the greatness and perfection of Prophet Muhammad here.

Fabrication 3: Mirza Ghulam Ahmad insulted Jesus Christ

As with the previous fabrication, this is a common allegation some Muslim leaders espouse to create anti-Ahmadi Muslim sentiment. As Islam requires Muslims to love and revere all God’s prophets, Jesus Christ is no exception. Ahmadi Muslims love Jesus more than we love our own parents or children. However, this has not stopped antagonistic clerics from promoting this fabricated claim that Ahmad insulted Jesus. Worry not, however, as Ahmadi Muslim scholars literally wrote a book to debunk this misconception.

Bottom Line: Ahmadi Muslims love and praise Jesus as a pure prophet of God.

Fabrication 4: Ahmadi Muslims consider anyone who doesn’t accept Mirza Ghulam Ahmad as a kafir (infidel)

For the record, Ahmadi Muslims consider anyone a Muslim who recites the Kalima or Islamic declaration of faith that Prophet Muhammad taught, “There is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His Messenger.” Thus, far from passing takfir (declaring infidel) on anyone, the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community is the world’s only Muslim sect that has categorically rejected the poison of Takfirism since its inception in 1889. Over a century ago the Messiah Ahmad declared even about those who did not accept him, “…my belief from the beginning has been that no person becomes a kafir or antichrist by denying my claim. I do not apply the term kafir to any person who professes the Kalima…”

On the contrary, in 1974 Muslim leaders from each of Islam’s 72 other sects convened in Pakistan, and in a collective act of takfir, unanimously declared all Ahmadi Muslims to be “non-Muslim.” This unprecedented pronouncement led Pakistan’s Parliament to pass the Second Amendment, formally declaring Ahmadis to be non-Muslim. To date, Muslim leaders the world over rely on the 1974 amendment to practice takfir against all Ahmadi Muslims.

Bottom Line: Ahmadi Muslims consider a Muslim anyone who recites the Kalima–as this is precisely what Prophet Muhammad taught.

Fabrication 5: Ahmadiyya Muslim Community is a British or Jewish conspiracy

Any reasonable mind will agree that this conspiracy theory claim is utter nonsense. Since inception, the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community has never relied on a single penny from any government, non-profit organization, or from a person who was not a member of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community. The only people permitted to contribute to the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community are members of the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community. Every donation given is recorded and a receipt is returned.

The real reason Muslim leaders make this allegation is because Ahmadi Muslims have spread peacefully to 206 nations worldwide and have done so without a single act of violence. Rather than recognize our expansion is due to following Prophet Muhammad’s peaceful example, they baselessly claim that we are agents of western governments. In other words, their hatred for us exceeds their love of Prophet Muhammad. It is a shameful position such Muslim leaders take, but that won’t stop us from continuing our peaceful and rapid growth. Indeed, the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community is the fastest growing sect in Islam.

Bottom Line: The Ahmadiyya Muslim Community is a divine community that relies only on God and not on any worldly or secular organization.

Fabrication 6: Ahmadi Muslims don’t accept Muhammad(sa) as the Seal of the Prophets

As I mentioned earlier, Ahmadi Muslims proudly celebrate Prophet Muhammad as “KhatamunNabiyyin” or the “Seal of the Prophets.” Rather than delve into a lengthy discourse, I’ll make just two points.

First, every year at the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community’s international Jalsa Salana in UK, His Holiness the Khalifa of Islam, Mirza Masroor Ahmad, accepts bai’at, i.e. initiation, from every member of the community. It is an annual pledge. Part of this pledge declares in no uncertain terms, “I solemnly pledge that I believe Muhammad is God’s Prophet and the Seal of the Prophets.” Thus, every adult Ahmadi Muslim has recited this pledge dozens of times, and every person who joins the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community affirms this pledge in writing with his or her signature.

Second, if you still do not believe me, here is an excellent book written by two Ahmadi Muslim scholars titled, “With Love to Muhammad, the KhatamunNabiyyin.” You can buy the print book or download it absolutely free at the link provided as an e-book. If, after reading the book, you still do not believe me that Ahmadi Muslims consider Muhammad as the Seal of the Prophets, drop me a line and we’ll chat.

Bottom Line: Ahmadi Muslims proudly declare Prophet Muhammad is Khatamun Nabiyyin.

Fabrication 7: Ahmadi Muslims provoke violence to gain sympathy from the West

As shameless allegations go, it doesn’t get much worse than this one. Here’s the history. Several things did not happen, that should have happened, in the aftermath of the horrific May 28, 2010 Taliban terrorist attacks on two Ahmadi Muslim run mosques in Lahore. No Pakistani government leader or worldwide Muslim leader condemned the attack. No effort was made to apprehend the culprits. No steps were taken to prevent future attacks. To this day none of these things have happened, despite the fact that these horrific attacks left 86 Ahmadi Muslims dead.

Instead, one shameful event happened that should not have happened. Ahmadi Muslims were accused of provoking terrorists to gain sympathy from non-Muslims. This meritless claim is nothing more than the figment of a anti-Ahmadi cleric’s imagination.

Bottom Line: In the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community’s 125 year history, not a single incident exists where Ahmadi Muslims engaged, approved, perpetuated–must less provoked–an act of violence. This is a verifiable fact.

Fabrication 8: Ahmadi Muslims pay people to join the Ahmadiyya Muslim Community

This meritless allegation is yet another conspiracy theory. I’m reminded of a funny story my father, an Imam, related from the early 1980s, shortly after Ahmadi Muslims were declared “non-Muslim” in Pakistan. A young man came to my father and declared his desire to become an Ahmadi Muslim. When my father inquired why, the man expressed his frustration at having to pay the Zakat tax of roughly 2.5%–and that if he were an Ahmadi, he would be exempt as a non-Muslim. Smiling, my father advised that every Ahmadi Muslim willingly contributes anywhere from 6.25% to 33% of his or her income to charity. Upon hearing this, the young man got up shocked and stormed out of the mosque.

The fat is, whenever the Qur’an mentions belief in God, it also mentions giving charity in service of humanity. This is why Ahmadi Muslims readily and eagerly sacrifice their incomes–Islam makes it our fundamental obligation to fulfill as Muslims.

Bottom Line: Far from giving people money to “join” the community, Ahmadi Muslims–new and old–consider it a privilege to contribute their hard earned finances to the service of humanity.

Fabrication 9: Ahmadi Muslims have changed the Qur’an and have invented new hadith to suit their needs

While no Muslim leader has ever actually presented a single example of Ahmadi Muslims changing the Qur’an or inventing ahadith, this myth perpetuates. In making such an allegation Muslim leaders only succeed in maligning the Qur’an, as the Qur’an itself promises that it will not be changed.

Bottom Line: Ahmadi Muslims wholly embrace the Qur’an and read from the same one true Qur’an revealed to Prophet Muhammad.

Fabrication 10: Ahmadi Muslims don’t preform Hajj to Mecca

As devout Muslims, Hajj is an important part of every Ahmadi Muslim’s life. It is a pillar of Islam and an obligation on all Muslims who are physically and financially able to perform this pilgrimage. The myth that Ahmadi Muslims don’t perform Hajj stems from Pakistan, where Ahmadi Muslims are forbidden from performing Hajj.

Pakistan has mandated that anyone who performs Hajj must sign a form declaring all Ahmadi Muslims as infidels, liars, and apostates. Pakistan is the world’s only nation that imposes this barbaric and draconian requirement. But, Pakistan does so because they know Ahmadi Muslims won’t sign the form. Accordingly, Pakistan forcibly prevents Ahmadi Muslims from performing Hajj. A forcible restriction is a far cry from Ahmadi Muslims choosing not to perform Hajj.

I personally know countless Ahmadi Muslims–even members of my immediate family–who have performed both Hajj and Umrah (a lesser Hajj) to Mecca.

Bottom Line: Ahmadi Muslims perform Hajj because it is a pillar of Islam.

In Conclusion:

This list is not exhaustive, but hopefully it gives you a good picture of what unfortunate and meritless allegations Ahmadi Muslims face from other Muslims on a regular basis. This is particularly perplexing considering the growing bouts of Islamophobia all Muslims face. One would think that Muslims who suffer through Islamophobic hate-mongering would actively avoid discriminating against Ahmadi Muslims. Unfortunately, this is not always the case and the hypocrisy is astounding when some Muslims yet discriminate against Ahmadi Muslims while experiencing anti-Islamic bigotry themselves.

In short, if you want to learn about Islam from the Ahmadiyya perspective, reach out to an Ahmadi Muslim personally or visit the official website.

Though Muslim leadership largely remains silent and tacitly endorses the persecution of Ahmadi Muslims while promoting the aforementioned misinformation, the Muslim youth and young Muslim leaders are rising up for pluralism. My hope and prayer is that in the coming years we can continue to work together to dispel misinformation and advance a common intra-faith platform of service to humanity.

30 Most Gorgeous Celebrity Brunettes

The beauty of brown hair? It’s amazing versatility. An earthy base can be darkened into a rich mocha or lightened up to a warm beige — or turned into an eye-catching ombre shade in-between. But no matter what color you chose, the best examples always have plenty of luminous shine (the secret: finish rinsing your hair with a shot of cool water and mist your brush with a glossing serum for daily shine).

5 Signs You're Stepping into Your Feminine Power

When I was first emerging into my feminine power, the sense of realignment with a deeper, more connected, more intuitive part of myself was unmistakable. I could feel it in my bones — something big was about to happen.

If you’re wondering whether you’re emerging as a feminine powerhouse, you probably are. Take a look at these signposts and see if you recognize these experiences in yourself:

1. You’ve just had a major transformation

One definition of emerging that I love is “to come into being through transformation.” Transformation is a funky-looking process of Frankenstein steps toward some unknown call. Maybe you have a more graceful way of going through transformation, but for me, it can be pretty herky-jerky.

But when you’re on the other side of that, you see the world around you with a new, exhilarating clarity. You’re feeling a wild sense of bravery, taking steps that surprise even yourself. It’s time to take this new internal alignment out into the world and see what happens. It can be scary to take a leap like this, but trust in the unknown is a potent and powerful trait of the feminine.

2. You’re dialed-in to your intuition like never before

Trust in the unknown doesn’t mean you have to stay in the dark. But instead of automatically turning to your brain for answers, you’re starting to trust your body. When a strategy doesn’t feel right, when a project’s getting off track, you just know, and you share that.

There’s also a feeling of expansion, excitement or flutter that can’t be ignored, and at some deeper level, you know that you’re headed in the right direction.

3. You’re looking for, and finding, your tribe

Committing to authenticity takes immense courage, and I don’t believe it can be achieved alone. When I asked Brené Brown if community helped with this process, she said, “it’s more of a prerequisite.” We need the witnessing and reflection from others to fully step into this bravery.

When you openly, intimately and vulnerably share with others, you are infinitely more likely to remain committed to your inner truths, and much less likely to make inauthentic decisions.

4. You’re no longer willing to compromise your true self

In my women’s circles, time and time again, I’m surrounded by women who are taking courageous steps, saying, “You know what? I’ve been compromising myself my whole life, and I’m over it! Now’s my time.”

The energy of emerging is like a fire. Once I knew I was not the only woman in my life who was feeling that same call, I knew that the truth could no longer could be buried in order to maintain the status quo.

5. You feel called to a life that benefits others

When you step into the power of your emergence, you become free to define success on your own terms. “Making it” is no longer just about getting the corner office, it means doing work that matters — and what keeps you up at night now is not a fear of personal failure, but this vision of exciting possibilities to make real and lasting impact on a local or global level.

It is this attention to the elevation of opportunities for everyone that makes me believe we, as emerging women, are powerful enough to truly change the world for the better.

Chantal Pierrat founded Emerging Women and Emerging Women Live in 2012 because it is her passion to empower women through feminine leadership. Join her for the second annual Emerging Women Live featuring Brené Brown, Danielle LaPorte, Gabby Bernstein, Kris Carr and more, Oct. 9-12 in NYC. Get familiar with the speakers and their transformational insights with our free audio download Power Practices Vol 1: Women Who Are Changing the World.

How to Age Well, Emotionally

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Do you feel like you’ve lost your youthful glow? Is your life becoming routine and well — just blah?

You’re not alone. American author and humorist Mark Twain once wrote: “Wrinkles merely mark where smiles have been.”

That’s all fine and dandy, but in today’s world, wrinkling is only one sign of youth fading away from our faces. While most of us run around wistfully chasing away the inevitable aging clock, we don’t have to look far to find the many bitter, crabby aging people amongst us.

Is this where we’re heading?

Here’s a surprising 411: Our birth date has nothing to do with why we lose our glow and zest for life. Getting old has everything to do with how we react to what life throws our way.

Have you noticed how amicable (for the most part) teenagers are when you bump into one? They’ll apologize first or laugh it off as “no worries.”

Tell a teenager you’re in a mad rush at the store as you beg to cut in line and you’ll more often than not be met with: Sure, go ahead. Try this with an adult and chances are you’ll get: Sorry, I’m in a hurry too.

Young adults smile back when you make eye contact, laugh off the little things in life and continue on with their dreams regardless of how many times you tell them it’s a crazy idea. And you know what? They glow with youthful exuberance.

So what happens to the rest of us?

When I first arrived in Colorado, I was 23 years old and had an apartment with what I considered to be a view of the mountains — it didn’t matter I had to stand outside on my balcony, lean way out and crank my neck to the left — I had a view of the majestic mountains and I was in heaven.

I appreciated everything about my new experience.

Years later, I rarely notice the mountain views out my windows. I still love them, but my daily views have become invisible like anything we grow accustom to in life.

So how does this apply to aging?

You can bet if you’ve moved past your 20s, you’re starting to take for granted the things that once elicited great joy… and chances are, you’re sweating the small stuff.

Life happens. Tragedy strikes, illness comes, disappointments and betrayals are commonplace, and our over-scheduled lives often cease variety as we work, work out, sleep and repeat.

It takes real effort to prevent life from dragging your spirit down.

It’s not your actual age that show up on your face, it’s the disappointments you’ve endured causing your youthful glow to drain and your eyes to appear dull and tired.

To stay young and happy, we’ve got to choose differently when it comes to our reactions to life:

Shrugging off drama, not taking every slight as personal, refusing to participate in gossip, finding our way through difficult situations and recalibrating ourselves back into balance is what turns back the aging clock.

Making time for introspection, giving people the benefit of the doubt, being quick to laugh, quick to apologize, and refusing to expect the worst are all keys to staying young.

My own grandma had an inner-glow until the day she died at 94.

My father could walk quietly into a room and suddenly the whole room was drawn to him. He had an inner sparkle, a happy heart, and a kindness about him that was irresistible.

Both had an ageless quality that had nothing to do with gray hair, lines on their faces or their aging bodies.

Who we really are and the thoughts we think silently inside of our heads are what shows up on our faces as the years go by.

Growing numb to the beauty of life ages us, while having consistent negative reactions to life robs our youth.

Growing old is not a choice, there’s a beginning and there’s an end destination. Aging on the other hand- that we have control over — and that control is just a matter of choice.

Post with permission via Daily Transformations

The 25 Best People's Climate March Signs

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Photo: Arthur Dworin

  1. Mother Earth Can’t Yell Rape
  2. Deny & Die
  3. Boobs Not Bombs [on young woman’s tee-shirt]
  4. There is no Planet B
  5. I Am Full of Greenhouse Gas. Do You Have a Steak in it? [on humongous cow balloon]
  6. Stop Funding Fossils
  7. Windmills Not Weapons
  8. Hey, Obama. We don’t Want No Climate Drama.
  9. I’m from Missouri; Show Me
  10. Binding Global Climate Treaty or Bust
  11. Tax Carbon
  12. Impeach + pic of Obama with Hitler mustache [carried by 2 tall African-American men]
  13. Clear Today; Gone Tomorrow
  14. Mama Says Go Clean Your Planet
  15. Cook Organic, Not the Planet
  16. 350 PPM
  17. Amnesty International: Climate Justice is a Human Right
  18. Oil is Over
  19. Global Warming: History’s Greatest Genocide
  20. People’s Need Not People’s Greed
  21. Planet Earth is Blue & There’s Something You Can Do
  22. We Will Not Be Silent
  23. Children for Climate Justice
  24. Stop Wars for Oil
  25. Slow Down the Spread of Cancer Caused by Deadly Diesel Carbon Emissions

How To Survive A Plane Crash

LONDON (AP) — They raced down the slide, one by one, like children on a playground. At the bottom, smartphone photos were snapped and high fives exchanged.

The frequent fliers were all smiling and laughing — and quietly hoping to never use an evacuation slide again. Doing so would mean their plane had just crashed. The slide demonstration was part of a half-day safety course that encourages passengers to be aware of their surroundings and familiarize themselves with what happens in an emergency. The two dozen participants learned the best way to brace for a crash, how to open aircraft doors and why to wait until exiting a plane to inflate life vests.

“In this day and age, everybody is so comfortable with flying, they get on planes and don’t consider safety,” says Andy Clubb, a safety instructor at British Airways’ flight training center.

Started as a training exercise for oil company employees who routinely flew to remote locations, the course is now open to frequent fliers willing to pay $265, although most participants are still sent by their companies. There are up to three classes a week.

The class begins inside a Boeing 737 cabin simulator. Airplane seats are selected. Seatbelts are buckled. The safety demonstration begins. Just like on a real flight, nobody pays attention — and these are passengers who know there is going to be a crash. The simulator rocks back and forth like taxiing, then tilts up for takeoff.

Soon theatrical smoke fills the cabin and the flight attendants shout “Brace. Brace. Brace.” Everybody’s head goes down until the evacuation order is given.

It’s a scramble to the nearest exit. Some passengers fare better than others. Seatbelts aren’t snapped off quickly enough. One woman struggles to open the emergency exit over the wing.

When the smoke clears, the group sits back down and learns that six to eight passengers can go through the door in the time it takes one passenger to go through the tiny over-wing exit. Seconds count. In the simulator, anyone who hesitates gets a stern lecture. In real life, they’re pushed out the door, down the slide by a flight attendant.

Clubb explains that the key to survival is getting into the proper brace position: Bend forward as far as possible, keep your head down. Place your feet flat on the floor and slide them back.

Your dominant hand goes on the back of your head. Protect that hand by placing the other hand over it. Do not interlock fingers. The goal is to ensure that the bones in the stronger hand aren’t broken so you can eventually unbuckle the seatbelt.

Will members of the class ever use the training? Each day, 8.3 million people around the globe step aboard some 93,500 flights. They almost always land safely. In the past decade, there have only been 138 crashes worldwide that had fatalities, according to aviation consultancy Ascend.

“The likelihood is that you are never going to have to do it in a real life situation. But knowing now that you could do it, just gives you a bit more confidence,” says participant Sarah Barnett, who frequently flies in her job marketing vacation destinations. (Classes can be booked here: http://www.britishairways.com/en-us/baft/flight-safety-awareness/courses-for-individuals)

The course also aims to give the fliers confidence in the people at the front of the plane.

“The two guys at the front of your airplane are probably the most highly regulated and checked professionals you’ll find anywhere — certainly more than your doctor or your lawyer or your accountant,” says British Airways pilot Martin Hockfield.

Hockfield tells the class that pilots come in twice a year for testing. In a simulator, they practice takeoffs with engine failures or landing after a loss of hydraulic pressure. It’s like taking a driving test every six months — in a broken car.

British Airways hopes the more than 15,000 people who have taken the training since 2004 can act as leaders for others to follow in a crash. Some passengers freeze or melt down in an emergency. If they see someone quickly, calmly and confidently following a flight attendant’s instructions to evacuate, they might do the same.

The instructors share this takeaway: All passengers should think about an emergency during the safety demonstration. Use that time to look for the nearest exit, plus an alternative one. Check where the life vest is and practice unbuckling the seatbelt to build a bit of muscle memory.

There were other safety tidbits dispensed that day. Red lights always signal an exit because the color cuts through smoke the best. Always inflate life vests outside the plane; they can limit mobility in a tight space and if water fills the cabin, passengers with inflated vests can be pressed up against the ceiling, unable to swim down to the door.

All bits of knowledge that, if passengers are lucky, they won’t ever need.

“Fingers crossed, this afternoon has been a complete, utter waste of time.” Clubb says. “You are at greater risk getting in your car and driving to the airport.”

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Scott Mayerowitz can be reached at http://twitter.com/GlobeTrotScott .

Taylor Swift Hosts Private Party For Fans, Makes So Many Literal Dreams Come True

Taylor Swift hosted a private party for select fans to listen to her upcoming album “1989.”

According to the Los Angeles Times, the party took place at Swift’s home in Los Angeles, and included a dance party, homemade baked goods and the singer’s cat, Olivia Benson. Swift reportedly looked through her fans’ social media accounts to handpick the guest list.

Lucky attendees shared their thoughts about the event and Swift’s new album on Twitter under the hashtag #1989secretsessions.

Check out the Twitter hashtag for more stories from the party, and even some fan descriptions of songs on “1989.”

The Search for Happiness

Looking through Facebook recently, I came across one of those motivational memes. Nothing really out of the ordinary, no cats, no little saplings trying to become great big trees. Just a little saying: “You are responsible for your own happiness.” It’s a simple concept really, but sadly, not everyone subscribes to this line of thinking.

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I don’t know why, but it really struck me. Maybe because Facebook is so full of people whining about sh*t. “Oh I’m so broke. My boyfriend’s a douche. My wife is a cheater. My kids are assholes. I hate paying bills. My car is a piece of sh*t.”

So much unpleasantness. Who is responsible for making your life pleasant? Do you rely on your husband/boyfriend/wife to make you happy? Well, if you do, and if you’re unhappy still, you’re the dumbie. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if your happiness is solely reliant on someone else, you need to re-evaluate your life.

When you find yourself in a situation that is unpleasant, think about how you got there. Is your spouse lying or cheating on you? Why are you allowing it? Are your kids assholes? Why are you allowing it? Is your living situation not the best? Make the best of it. I know it sounds easy and I’m really good at talking the talk, but I’m also walking the walk.

I’m happy. I’m a happy person. Why? Because I don’t rely on those around me to make me happy. I love my family, and I love my friends. And they are wonderful. If they weren’t wonderful, I’d do something about it. If my husband was an ass, I wouldn’t be with him. If my friends weren’t awesome, why would I have them as my friends? I hate drama. I avoid drama at all. effing. cost. If I find myself in a job that I hate, I look for something else, something that I don’t hate. Something that doesn’t bring me down or make me feel awful.

If there are people around me who are constantly bitching and kvetching about how awful things are, I try to distance myself, because who the hell needs that kind of negativity? I’m a firm believer that change comes from within. Nobody makes you who you are, only you have that power. And if you give that power to someone else, you have no right to bitch and complain about your situation, because you have allowed it to happen.

Exceptions abound, I know that. I’m not talking here about those who are ill or suffer from depression. I’m talking about those who need someone else to create their happiness, those who downright depend on someone else to ensure that they are happy.

If you aren’t happy, do something about it. Make the change. Take back that power. Don’t just sit there and whine about it, do something. Because as Hallmark as it sounds, you are responsible for your own happiness.

Ignoring Well-Being Is Costing Us

I want you to picture a moment. It’s midnight on Jan. 26, 2008, and I wake up with a panic attack. Never, ever happened to me in my life before. Some of you may have experienced a panic attack and know what that feels like: Am I going to die? I can’t breathe. I turn to my wife, wake her up and say, “I think I’m having a heart attack.” I get out of bed, walk around the room, eventually calm down, and then get back into bed, absolutely perplexed and confused as to what has happened to me.

The morning arrives, and I decide to go to the doctor. The doctor asks me some questions, and those questions are:

Have you lost the will to live?

The answer: “Yes.”

Have you lost your appetite?

The answer: “Yes.”

Have you been on your bike recently?

“I can’t get on a bicycle.” (I’m a keen cyclist.)

Have you have suicidal thoughts?

“Yes, I have.”

What is your sleep like?

“I wake up at 2:30 every morning and ruminate over the same issue for hours and hours and hours.”

Geoff, you’re ill.

“What? Ill with what?”

You’re ill with depression or maybe a form of anxiety.

I go home, tell my wife what the doctor has said, phone my boss and tell him that I’m depressed. I phone some friends. This illness has struck me. I cant believe it! Why, how, could I not have anticipated this? Someone who has always had a zest for life — energetic, enthusiastic, run over 40 marathons, a number of triathlons, half Iron Man, Ultra Cycling events and an amazing and successful career with Unilever, is now suffering from depression and anxiety.

I make a decision not to be embarrassed about my condition (which in hindsight literally saves my life), and instead I seek the support of others. My ability to talk about my illness and acceptance thereof is the major contributor to my recovery and return to good health.

After three months, as a result of a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy, medication, and probably the most important thing for me, talking to a friend who had been desperately ill, gives me hope that I can get better. In the darkest moments, I see a glimmer of light by talking to him and develop a belief that I can get better. I do just that and slowly reintegrate myself back into work.

A year later a good friend gets ill, walks to the top a building and jumps off. The difference between him and me was that I could speak about my condition; he couldn’t, and so he took his life. It was that moment that catalyzed me into wanting to give back to all of those people suffering in silence out there! I realize the only way to do this is to address the stigma associated with mental health.

We live in a volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) world today, a corporate world where more is expected for less, where technology has driven a 24/7 lifestyle and an expectation to be “always on,” and a more competitive world in which conditions are not going to get any easier. It is for these very reasons that we need to turn our attention to addressing the well-being of the people who work for us. Ignoring well-being is costing us. Society has not recognized the prevalence of mental ill health, says U.K. Chief Medical Officer Dame Sally Davies. Her annual report in 2014 said:

… mental illness led to the loss of 70 million working days last year — up 24 percent since 2009 … Overall, mental illness costs the U.K. economy between £70bn and £100bn in lost productivity.

Corporations have for many years been good citizens in helping to address the physical health of their employees. The time has now come to give the mental well-being of their employees the same level of investment priority. This not only makes good business sense, but more importantly, it is the right thing to do.

Every “cloud has a silver lining.” Who would have thought that during my darkest days, such an amazing and purposeful opportunity would arise for me to contribute to addressing and enhancing the well-being of others? I hope this blog will provide some inspiration to leaders in the corporate world to open up about their own experiences and thus help normalize the condition, such that individuals and organizations can truly THRIVE in this VUCA world!

Have a story about depression that you’d like to share? Email strongertogether@huffingtonpost.com, or give us a call at (860) 348-3376, and you can record your story in your own words. Please be sure to include your name and phone number.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

Rotating Air Hockey To Billiards Table saves space in your home

rotating-air-hockey-tableWhen the day is nice and sunny out there, surely it beats staying at home and sitting in front of the TV, don’t you think so? It is time to get out and enjoy some fresh air outdoors. However, when winter arrives and the mercury drops, perhaps it would be more prudent to find some other kinds of indoor activity, even better yet if you can burn some calories while you are at it. Enter the $799.95 Rotating Air Hockey To Billiards Table – this is one unique sporting implement that reasonably sized homes should have, as it offers a fast paced game of air hockey on one side, and when you need a slower pace to while your time away, flip it over and voila! A billiards table is there for you to play with your partner.

In a nutshell, this is a rotating table which will incorporate a couple of full-size game room favorites in a space that is normally reserved for just one. The air hockey table’s glossy white playing surface as well as its 110-volt blower would enable fast-paced action while its 3″ solid MDF rails and heavy-duty aprons are more than capable of standing up to rigorous play. This particular 7′ billiards table will be solidly constructed from warp-resistant, high-density MDF and it comes covered in a nylon blend cloth for a consistent roll. Switchign from one game to the other can be done in a jiffy – just rotate the playing surface and lock into place, and you’re god to go. It will feature a pair of 57″ cues, balls, rack, chalk, two air hockey strikers, and two pucks, although DIY enthusiasts will love the fact that just like the Avengers, some assembly is required.
[ Rotating Air Hockey To Billiards Table saves space in your home copyright by Coolest Gadgets ]