Hasta La Gadget!

There’s a paradox at the heart of how we think about leaders. Ask someone to picture a stereotypical leader and most people will think of someone confident, brash, and outgoing–the classic extrovert. But ask a person to think of real-life business visionaries and many of the people they’re likely to name, from Bill Gates to Warren Buffet, are textbook examples of introverts.

What we expect leaders to be like and the qualities that actually make a leader great are often at odds, in other words. We’re seduced by charisma and overlook the lower-key charms of the quieter folks among us.

Which can be a huge mistake. Not only have some studies shown the bottom-line benefits that introverted leaders can provide under the right conditions (check out this one about pizza restaurants), but expert after expert insists that more introverted personality types come equipped with significant leadership advantages. Here are seven:

1. They’re better listeners.

“Introverts typically appear to be better listeners,” says Karl Moore, a management professor at McGill University. “They wait for others to express their ideas before they jump in with theirs; they don’t need to be at the center of every conversation.”

2. They’re better prepared.

Introverts don’t wing it, according to Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of the books The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength and Quiet Influence: The Introvert’s Guide to Making a Difference. A PsychCentral post explaining her ideas quotes Kahnweiler: “They spend time thinking through their goals and preparing for questions, which gives them an edge.”

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3. They go deep.

Kahnweiler further explained the advantages of introverted leaders in a post for Forbes, including their propensity to dive deeply into a subject. “Introverted leaders seek depth over breadth,” she writes. “They like to dig deep, delving into issues and ideas before moving on to new ones. They are drawn to meaningful conversations, not superficial chitchat, and they know how to ask great questions and really listen to the answers.” Among other benefits, this in-depth study means “executives can learn what’s actually happening in the far reaches of their organizations and engage and retain their top talent.”

4. They don’t mind solitude…

…and being alone is essential for reflection, focus, and the formation of deeply considered opinions. “As clinical psychologist Laurie Helgoe states in Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength, introverts have an ‘internal power–the power to birth fully formed ideas, insights, and solutions,'” explains author Bruna Martinuzzi on American Express OPEN Forum. Quiet time is essential to bring these breakthrough ideas into the world.

“One of the greatest advantages introverts have is their ability to stay focused, where others around them might be distracted,” Martinuzzi writes. “They’re generally not afraid of solitude, because they know it’s fruitful. It gives them opportunities for self-reflection, thinking, theorizing, observing, planning, or imagining…It improves our ability to think.”

5. They keep their cool.

To illustrate this point, Martinuzzi quotes Beth Buelow, author of Insight: Reflections on the Gifts of Being an Introvert: “My energy tends to be a calming presence, which means I don’t take up too much space in a room or conversation. And I don’t need to take up a lot of space. I have a greater influence when I am intentional and deliberate in my speech and presence.”

Martinuzzi and Buelow aren’t the only ones noting the calming effect of having an introvert at the top. Kahnweiler agrees, arguing, “Introverted leaders are low key. In times of crisis, they project a reassuring, calm confidence–think President Obama–and they speak softly and slowly regardless of the heat of the conversation or circumstances.”

6. They don’t settle.

Introverts aren’t known for their self-satisfaction, notes Rahul Sinha, who rounded up recent findings on introverted leaders for a LinkedIn post. This continual striving for improvement can be a huge benefit in business settings. Introverts, he writes, are “likely to be aware about areas where they need to improve. This type of focus and awareness is very important to the growth of a leader and their team. This will to challenge oneself will motivate teams to do the same by evaluating themselves, their colleagues, and the team to improve.”

7. They write more.

It’s an old-fashioned skill that’s easy to let atrophy in our tech-mad world, but strong writing skills usually lead to clear thinking and communication, according to Kahnweiler, so introverts’ skill behind the keyboard offers them an advantage.

“Introverted leaders usually prefer writing to talking,” she writes. “This comfort with the written word often helps them better articulate their positions and document their actions. It also helps them leverage online social networking tools such as Twitter, creating new opportunities to be out there with employees, customers, and other stakeholders.”

What have been your experiences working for (or as) an introverted leader?

Sure, everyone knows you can find mouth-watering things to eat (#foodporn), magazine-worthy fashion (#streetstyle) and jaw-dropping travel photos (#dreamvacation) on Instagram, but the inspiration doesn’t end there. When it comes to home decor, we’ve found Instagram to be a go-to for some serious style lessons on everything from envy-inducing closets to just plain gorgeous desks.

But we’re not greedy. Here are our twelve favorite accounts for the best (free) design advice around.

@crafthunter
An Australian-based DIY genius who loves splashes of color and all things sweet. That definitely deserves a like.

@melodramablog
Follow for the incredible transformation inspiration, stay for the amazing cocktails and recipe ideas.

@5ftinf
If you love fresh flowers in your home (or any and all things floral), you should be pretty much required to check this out.

@designsponge
There’s a chance you know the blog. Now it’s time to go behind the scenes.

@hellolidy
This couple doesn’t just know how to DIY together — they know how to incorporate that perfect vintage or homemade touch.

@themakerista
If you can relate to a blogger who likes “making everything and anything… except dinner,” you’ve come to the right place.

@fromtherightbank
As if that gorgeous leopard chair isn’t reason enough to follow away, her other global modern finds will convince you.

@sugarandcloth
Consider this your one-top shop for DIY-inspired living with a playful, feminine touch.

@athomeinlove
Combine interiors with lifestyle and follow away.

@sfgirlbybay
Looking for a place where all things vintage inspiration meet all things California chic? Look no further.

@studiodiy
If you think every day should be celebrated like a DIY-infused holiday, you’ve just discovered your go-to place.

@myparadissi
Travel lovers, this one’s for you. This blogger brings the best of both the decor and abroad worlds together in one breathtaking account.

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I volunteer to visit some ladies with Alzheimer’s at a local memory care facility. One of “My Ladies” is Ruth. I realize I shouldn’t have a favorite, but I do. Ruth is my favorite. I just love visiting her. She says she’s 90 but I don’t believe her. She doesn’t look a day over 80. Not to mention that her face looks a good deal like my mother’s. Ruth is good-natured and often quite amusing. Sometimes we get to laughing so hard tears stream down our faces.

It happens that I had published an article about Molly Middleton Meyer, the founder of Mind’s Eye Poetry, on the Alzheimer’s Reading Room. Molly is an expert at facilitating the creation of poetry by individuals and groups of people with Alzheimer’s. She helps them use their memories and imagination to create stunning poems.

So one day when I was visiting Ruth I got the idea of writing some poems together. From my interview with Molly, I’d learned that was something people with Alzheimer’s could actively participate in and also something they really enjoyed doing.

I had no special skill or experience in creating poetry with a person who has Alzheimer’s but I didn’t let that stop me. Although I couldn’t even begin to facilitate the creative process the way Molly does, I did hope Ruth and I could write some simple poems together.

We started our visit by talking about Ruth’s experience dancing with soldiers at an Army base during World War II. She tells me that story every time I visit, and I enjoy it each time as much as the time before.

After she had told me the story, I changed the subject and asked, “Do you like poems?”

She got a look of delight on her face and blurted out, “Oh, yes! Happy ones!”

So I decided we’d write happy poems. I didn’t know exactly how to proceed so I developed my own approach. I decided to simply start off by saying what I thought would be a first good line for an amusing poem, then raise my right arm toward her and look at her expectantly as though to say, “You say the next line.”

Although my procedure was very different, and much simpler than that Molly uses, it worked extremely well. We typically alternated lines – I’d say a line, then she followed with the next. What surprised me was that in most cases she immediately spouted off a line that not only logically followed mine, but also rhymed with it. And she came up with it quickly. I soon realized that Ruth is actually better and faster at rhyming than I am.

As we went along I wrote down our lines on a little sheet of paper in my wallet. Our first one was about the birds and the bees. I thought that would be a good topic for a fun poem. Here it is:

The Birds and Bees

The birds and the bees
Crawl on their knees and
Do as they please.
They don’t have flees –
Those birds and bees.

The very minute we finished, a buzzer went off. An aide stepped in and told us there was a tornado drill and that we had to come immediately to the center hall. We had to sit there for a long time, and Ruth got quite annoyed. I was kind of bothered myself.

So when the drill was over and we went back to Ruth’s room, we decided to write a poem together about the drill. Lines two and four are Ruth’s.

The Drill

The drill
Was no thrill.
Give me a pill
And forget the drill.
That pill of a drill.

We created another poem during my next visit. It was based on the fact that Ruth loves my little Shih Tzu puppy, Christina, whom I frequently take on my visits. Ruth doesn’t remember my name, she doesn’t remember that I visit every week, but she remembers I have a puppy and almost always asks me to bring her with me the next time.

This poem is more serious than the others and is one of the few that doesn’t rhyme. Ruth came up with lines two, four and six.

Christina

I love Marie’s puppy, Christina.
She’s friendly and makes me smile
When she comes to visit
She checks out my room
But I’m happiest
When she sleeps in my lap.

Seeing how happy Ruth was to actively participate in writing the poems I decided we’d keep doing it. Someday I’m going to type them all up and put them in a colorful binder for her. And I’ll make another one for me to remind me of her joy in doing this simple activity.

Lessons Learned From This Activity:

1. Simple activities can bring joy to people who have Alzheimer’s.
2. People with Alzheimer’s may enjoy helping to write poems.
3. They may be able to come up with lines that logically follow the one before.
4. They may have an uncanny ability to make up lines that rhyme.

Marie Marley is the award-winning author of the uplifting book, “Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy. Her website, www.ComeBackEarlyToday, contains a wealth of information for Alzheimer’s caregivers.

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