Hasta La Gadget!

Developing the capacity for compassion and sharing is a huge challenge for young children. Because they are still in an egocentric stage of development, they lack the awareness of and empathy toward others necessary to see how not sharing impacts those around them. Yet, sharing, as an expression of compassion, is a message that your children must get.

For our family, we try to strike a balance in which we establish the expectation of sharing (i.e., encouraging and sometimes forcing sharing), yet also give our daughters permission to not share everything. We allow them to designate some of their possessions as “special” that they don’t have to share with others. Of course, we encourage them to share everything, but the “special” category gives them the feeling that they have some things that are truly theirs. Also, at times when they don’t want to share, we make a point to tell them that the best kind of generosity occurs when they don’t want to share.

Eve and Darren believe that compassion arises from the realization that there are people in the world different from them. So, from their two children’s earliest years, they exposed their kids to as much , racial, religious, age and socioeconomic diversity as possible. They live in a large and diverse city in a neighborhood of mixed ethnicity and explore every nook and cranny of the urban landscape, even poor areas in which they are a bit uncomfortable. Eve and Darren expose their children to every kind of international cuisine they can find (though, admittedly, every taste isn’t always welcomed). They read books to their children that show them about other peoples, cultures, and religions. Once their children were old enough, the family took trips to India, China, Russia, and Africa.

Carly and Jake see compassion as starting close to home and expanding outward. They emphasize to their son and daughter that caring for each other is the foundation of their family and for compassion, kindness and generosity toward others. They establish clear expectations of how they wanted their family to treat each other and focused on activities that require cooperation. For example, they played games, worked on puzzles, and did household projects that can’t be accomplished alone.

From this foundation of compassion with their family, Carly and Jake expanded their messages to their friends and neighbors. They built a strong network of like-minded people who shared the value of compassion. They and other parents in their network organized social activities and charitable work aimed at not only helping others outside their circle, but also those within. In recent months, Carly and Jake organized a Tom Sawyer house painting party for elderly neighbors who couldn’t afford a new paint job. They, along with other parents in their group, organized a condolences card-writing event for a member of the group whose father had recently died. And Carly and the other moms and children in the group prepared several weeks of meals for a family whose mother had become seriously ill, requiring surgery and a lengthy convalescence.

One of the most interesting and courageous acts of compassion I have learned about first hand occurred during a recent visit to a Southern city with a large African-American population, high levels of poverty, and almost-uniform geographic racial segregation for a speaking event. The chaplain at the school at which I spoke, Randy, a Caucasian, had done considerable charitable work in one of the poorest neighborhoods in the city. Five years ago, he decided that, for him to have the greatest impact on this struggling community, he, his wife, and three young children needed to move into the neighborhood. Needless to say, his wife was resistant, worried for the safety of her family. But seeing her husband’s passion and determination, she steeled herself and agreed to the move. To their surprise, their family was welcomed into the neighborhood. In the five years since their move, they have never had any problems being one of only a few white families in the area. The chaplain’s ability to effect positive change in the community has grown exponentially. And their children are not only seeing and hearing messages of compassion, but they are living a life immersed in compassion.

This blog post is excerpted from my third parenting book, Your Children are Listening: Nine Messages They Need to Hear from You (The Experiment Publishing, 2011).

A Muslim player who was penalized after dropping to his knees and bowing in prayer following an interception for a touchdown Monday night should not have been flagged, the NFL said Tuesday.

Husain Abdullah of the Kansas City Chiefs slid to the turf in the end zone and made the brief gesture of his faith during the Chiefs’ 41-14 victory over the New England Patriots. He received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

(Story continues below.)

ESPN noted that according to Rule 12, Section 3, Article 1 (d), “Players are prohibited from engaging in any celebrations or demonstrations while on the ground.”

But in a tweet Tuesday morning, the league clarified its position.

Abdullah should not have been penalized. Officiating mechanic is not to flag player who goes to ground for religious reasons.

— Michael Signora (@NFLfootballinfo) September 30, 2014

Ibrahim Hooper of the Council on American-Islamic Relations told The Huffington Post on Tuesday that the group is satisfied with the league’s quick response. Hooper earlier had urged the NFL to clarify its stance on prayer ”to prevent the appearance of a double standard.” Hooper was referring to the many Christian players who drop to a knee in prayer to celebrate a touchdown, including former NFLer Tim Tebow.

The apparent discrepancy set off a dispute on social media.

Abdullah, who left football for a year to make the pilgrimage to Mecca, told the Kansas City Star afterward that he thought the referees flagged him over unsportsmanlike conduct for the slide, not prostrating. It was a sentiment echoed by his coach, Andy Reid.

Around the time the NFL’s ruling was made public, Abdullah took to Instagram, writing, “‘Subhana Rabbial-‘Ala’ (Glory be to my Lord The Most High)” and posting the following photo:

Often teachers make headlines for having sex with multiple students.

In this case, Louisiana authorities are investigating allegations that two female teachers had sex with the same male student.

WGNO reports that the St. Charles Parish Sheriff’s Office is looking into the accusations involving a pair of teachers at Destrehan High School in the town of the same name.

The names of the accused teachers have not been released and neither have the ages of the teachers or the possible victim.

The incident allegedly took place off of school grounds.

Sheriff Greg Champagne told WWL-TV the case is “too premature to discuss at the time.” No charges have been filed.

WWL-TV obtained a copy of the statement released to parents by Destrehan High School Principal Stephen Weber addressing the accusations.

“I want to assure you that, while the school system and proper authorities are conducting a thorough investigation of the allegations, you can be confident that teaching and learning, our core business, will continue effectively,” Weber said.

@media only screen and (min-width : 500px) {.ethanmobile { display: none; }}

Like Us On Facebook |
Follow Us On Twitter |
Contact The Author

Going on a sabbatical is equivalent to conducting a life experiment. Breaking away from your regular routine will let you test whether your life can be significantly better if you live differently. Maybe that means living in a different country, learning a new skill, changing jobs or completing your bucket list. But even as exciting as it sounds and the happiness it promises, the decision doesn’t come easy.

When considering going on a sabbatical your thought pattern might look like this: I desperately want time away. Want a new perspective. But if I do it will the world stop? What will I do if I am unemployed upon my return? Should I wait until retirement? Can I really afford it? Will my family be ok with it? Am I going crazy? Fear has a great paralyzing effect, thus most people abandon the idea quickly. Sadly only a few get to find out that once you do it, the world keeps on going and everything is fine. Making this decision is actually about conquering fear.

I found the best way to overcome the fear and ease into the decision of going on a sabbatical is to actually begin to plan it, even if you feel you are not ready. Instead of having this debate in your head, where fear always wins, sit down and begin to plan how your life experiment would look like. The reason why this strategy works is simple: it appeals to both your mind and your heart. When you begin to plan your time away you will a) Determine if you can really do it or not — the rational part and b) If your heart really wants it, the courage to make the decision will come naturally.

Here are the planning steps to follow that will greatly ease your fear:

1. Set an intention. Having a clear intention or theme for your life experiment will give you strong rationale why to do it. It will also help you design the kind of sabbatical that is right for you. Here are some examples of intentions: travel around the world, self-discovery, religious pilgrimage, learn a language, write, time with the family, a bucket list journey, volunteering. Or simply just to get away, which is a totally valid reason. Which one is the right for you?

2. Articulate your biggest fear. What is the worst that can happen if you go on a sabbatical? Write it down. Is what you fear the most completely true? Would you go on a sabbatical right away if that fear turns out not to be true? You will find that what is holding you back is just thoughts. More often than not, the new life possibilities will surpass your worst fears. My biggest fear was impacting my career negatively. Worst case, I needed to find a new job upon my return. I was ok with that. I articulated that fear, I conquered it, and guess what? I got promoted upon my return.

3. Research your support options. If you are employed, understand what benefits are available to you. Most companies these days offer a time-away-from-office option. If you are self- employed, understand how your responsibilities can be delegated and continued while away. Consider involving your family, support network and friends to either help out while you are gone or visit them during your trip. Making them part of your experience will be enriching for them as well.

4. Set your budget and length of time. Money and time are the two variables that you need to plan around. There is a sabbatical for every budget and length of time. You can make a long sabbatical cheap or a short one very expensive and vice versa. Money shouldn’t be an excuse not to go on a sabbatical. There are plenty of options to travel and live cheaply, especially outside the US. Just keep in mind that you also need to plan for any cost or commitments that you leave behind like rent, utilities, etc.

5. Go after Experiences. Most sabbaticals will allow you to experience life differently. That is where the growth comes from. Being present and in touch with life. Maybe you want to play Globe trekker or immerse yourself in a new language?. Build a rough sketch of the main places you are drawn to, while looking at a map, as it is helpful to keep the distances in mind. Or maybe you want to focus on one activity and volunteering? Research options and contact people at the location you are interested to understand what your day to day might be like. Get excited. Of course don’t over-plan; just prioritize activities and experiences that will allow you live life differently.

6. Get familiar with technology and travel insurance. Currency and language translators, digital itineraries like Tripit, Government travel advisories and Trip advisor reviews — are all available tools that make you a savvy traveler. Having very good travel insurance will also ease your fear. All these tools will make you feel equipped on your journey and also provide a safety net in case of trouble. There are multiple providers and options to choose from.

7. Daydream. Finally, the last step to ease your fear is to daydream! Let your daydreams take over, say yes more often than no. The rest will follow. I leave you with three great sample itineraries from sabbatical experiences from friends and from my own.

Theme based Experiment: Different country/experience every week. (Seven weeks, Budget: $10,000 )
Week 1: Two countries in Central and South America
Week 2: Teaching/ volunteering
Week 3: Family and friends time
Week 4: Thailand- Beach, Detox and yoga
Week 5 and 6: Cambodia, Hong Kong, other Asian destinations
Week 7 : Spiritual Retreat at the Omega Institute with Eckhart Tolle

Around the world Experiment: Eight months with one around the world ticket (Budget: $20,000)

60 Days in Africa (Adventure and Volunteering): From Cape Tow to North Africa
Turkey: 15 days around the country highlights
India: Cross country train trip (six weeks)
Mongolia: Living in the desert experience (one week)
Southeast Asia: Visiting Top cities (one month)

Around the US visiting National parks: Family with three kids (two months, Budget: $5,000)

From Mid-west to West Coast on an RV
Benefits they reported back: Experience of bonding together and with nature, reset
expectations on what is really important. Best gift they could have given their family.

Follow these steps to let fear go and finally go on that well deserved sabbatical. It can change your life. And you will see that your world does not stop, does not fall apart, when you invest in yourself. Even if you decide not to go on a sabbatical now, I hope you still do it in this lifetime. Remember, the trip really begins when you start to plan it. Whether it is on paper or real, enjoy it!

If you were to look at the array of Taylor Swift playlists on my Spotify, you would probably suspect that I’m an emotional teenage girl who spends way too much time thinking about her non-existent love life. While that is completely true, I would like to make the case that there is way more to it than that.

You may have found Kanye to be in the right when he interrupted her at the 2009 VMAs and said she didn’t deserve to win best video, but I truly believe there is a die-hard Taylor Swift fan inside all of us (even Kanye). It is just about unleashing it. And a heck of a lot of people have. After all, Swift has sold 26 million albums worldwide, and her concert shows net $1,784,275 per night.

Taylor Swift songs are meant to be sung aloud in the shower, danced around to in the middle of the street and cried to when you’re home alone with nothing but chocolate ice cream. But above all else, they’re supposed to speak to you.

“He’s the song in the car I keep singing, don’t know why I do…”

The first Taylor Swift song I ever heard was “Teardrops On My Guitar.” I was an 11-year-old girl in the backseat of my parents’ car. The windows were down. I remember this moment because for the first time in my entire life, I felt like someone understood what I thought and was able to put it into words. I was distraught because my crush didn’t like me back, and Taylor Swift seemed to be the first and only person who truly understood how important and painful it was.

“If you could see that I’m the one who understands you, been here all along, so baby why can’t you see… you belong with me?”

Two years later, it was “You Belong With Me” where Taylor read my mind once again. Still the same boy, now just a little more grown up. He still didn’t like me, and somehow Taylor understood how much it hurt to feel invisible. Like any relationship, mine and Taylor’s grew, and we began to connect on more than just a few songs about boys — she felt like she had no one to sit with in middle school, I felt like I had no one to sit with in middle school; she had mixed feelings about getting older, I had mixed feelings about getting older; she felt like people didn’t understand her, I felt like people didn’t understand me.

Taylor Swift crept into my identity. She became my best friend, and I became a loyal Swiftie. And I wasn’t the only person who felt this way. Taylor has 43.7 million Twitter followers, 11.1 million Instagram followers, and according to her cover story in Rolling Stone, she can’t go for a stroll in Central Park without four body guards and a swarm of fans.

“It’s miserable and magical.”

There are millions of people like me — devoted fans who sleep outside the TODAY show to catch a glimpse of her, dress up in head-to-toe chicken costumes hoping someone from her crew will spot them and give them backstage passes, create Tumblr pages about her, or simply hang her posters on their walls. But then there are those people who hate her, who think she makes it seem like all girls do is think about boys, write mean comments on YouTube, cover their ears when her songs come on the radio. They look at Taylor’s bouncing hair, and decide she is either a dumb blond, or the world’s most manipulative mean girl. But as the old proverb says: the opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference, and nobody is indifferent to Taylor Swift.

“A band of thieves in ripped up jeans who ruled the world.”

Here’s the thing: you might see Taylor Swift as the girl who wouldn’t play with you during recess, or the one person you wished would sit next to you at lunch, but we have all come to rely on her. Either you get your anger and frustration out with Taylor or at Taylor. Her fans go to concerts, others bad-mouth her on the subway. At the end of the day, I think that’s Taylor’s ultimate goal: she’s there for you. As she said in a letter to a bullied fan, “Every time someone picks on me, I’ll think of you in the hopes that every time someone picks on you, you’ll think of me… and how we have this thread that connects us.” So the next time you’re ranting about how much you can’t stand her, remember, sometimes you feel the same way about your mother. But that doesn’t mean you don’t love her.