Cosmic Tips to Conquer Holiday Family Stress

Let’s get real: Life is not a Norman Rockwell painting. When it comes to spending a lot of time with family during the holidays, the most wonderful time of the year can quickly turn into the most stressful time of the year.

Even the people we love the most have a unique way of pushing our buttons when we spend too much time together. Add that to the stress of juggling holiday parties, meal planning and gift shopping from Thanksgiving to New Year’s, and… well, let’s just say it’s easy to go from holly jolly to downright brawly in the blink of Santa’s eye.

Fortunately, astrology can help you watch for the things that trigger your zodiac sign’s stress levels most, and offer tips on how to cope with stressful family situations all season long.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Even dynamic Rams can run out of energy during the holidays, and it stresses you out when you don’t have enough steam to get everything done. If a family member asks for one more thing on top of this, watch out for your fiery temper! Prevent a meltdown by setting aside at least one hour of alone time per day. Delegate some of your tasks to others and go for a walk or take a nap. You don’t have to do everything yourself — that’s what family is for!

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Taurus, you’re the peacemaker, and your family relies on you to solve disputes over the dinner table during the holidays. And you know what? That stresses you out! You don’t like to witness conflict or hurt feelings, and it’s even worse if you can’t help settle everyone down because then you feel like you’ve failed. If you find yourself stressed by family drama this year, use your stubborn nature to cope. Insist everyone calm down and speak respectfully, and don’t walk away until peace prevails.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
You don’t suffer fools gladly, Gemini. Your short temper can be triggered when a family member says something you disagree with, or if they move too slowly — like when Granny drives you to the mall in her 1987 Cutlass Ciera. You need to practice patience, dear Gemini. Take part in daily activities to calm your overactive mind, like yoga or an art class to, so you won’t blow a gasket at Thanksgiving dinner.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Sensitive Cancer Crabs are especially prone to holiday family stress. You are very negatively affected by criticism, angry outbursts or being ignored. And it’s easy for certain family members to hurt your feelings unintentionally — like if one of your siblings seems to be getting preferential treatment, or if someone accidentally insults you with a nose trimmer as a holiday gift. To keep Crab from getting crabby, it’s important you speak up and let the offending family member know how you feel. Don’t keep your hurt feelings to yourself, or you’ll wind up nursing a stress-related ulcer. Take a deep breath and let your feelings be known, and more than likely you’ll find peace in an apology.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)
Leo, you need to let go. Your stress triggers are primarily situations you can’t control, and that is an inevitable part of the holidays. One of your family members might break the gravy dish, you may lose your car in the mall parking garage on Black Friday, or Uncle Jerry might infer that your career choice falls short of family expectations. Whatever it is that takes place to trigger your insecurities and prompt you to throw a childish temper tantrum… Let. It. Go. You’ll be much happier that way.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)
You think too much, Virgo — which accounts for your greatest holiday stress. Just the thought of getting all your holiday chores done and attending to every family member’s needs is enough to tie you in knots. But the thing is, once you actually start working on the things you need to get done, you’re fine. Make lots of lists to help keep you on track — write down what you can do to help others, too. You’ll feel calmer just putting it all on paper. Pretend you’re making a list for Santa, it’ll be fun!

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Not being treated fairly is hugely stressful for you, Libra. And you also can’t deal with a lot of clutter. But during large family holiday gatherings, it’s easy for these needs to be neglected. If someone takes the last slice of pumpkin pie before you’ve had any, and then has the nerve to leave the dirty dish on the counter, look out! That will set you off, and you could waste hours weighing the pros and cons of confronting them about it. Rather than seething in silence or overreacting defensively, respond calmly in the moment. Keep it short and sweet — no long-winded speeches or accusations. You’ll get better results once people know where you stand.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
Your family doesn’t realize how sensitive you are, Scorpio, because you hide it well. You have a quiet strength, so you’re easily stressed out by big noisy family gatherings. You also feel tense and nervous when you don’t get enough privacy, so be sure to let your family members know your needs and boundaries so you can negotiate what works for all. It may be as simple as going into a private room alone for an hour to regroup, or leaving a lit bit sooner than the rest of the clan. If you explain, they will understand.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
You’re all about movement, Sagittarius, so the idea of sitting in a relative’s living room for five hours straight is your personal hell. You’re also not big on formal family dinners where you must act properly and “behave.” Any situation that reins you in can trigger stress, like someone pressuring you to buy too many gifts or show up on time for dinner. Find ways to spend some time outdoors to feed your restless spirit. Help decorate the family home with outdoor lights or shovel snow from the sidewalks up and down the street so you won’t feel so constrained.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
You demand a lot from yourself, Capricorn. And, you feel pressured when you fail to live up to your high expectations during the holidays. You worry worry worry about serving the right holiday dishes, buying the right gifts or telling the right jokes at the holiday dinner table. You can end up going over the “what ifs” or “if onlys” ’til you’re all lathered up. The remedy is to live in the moment, the only place where joy can be found. And, be sure there’s plenty of time to relax in your hectic holiday schedule.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
Though “live and let live” is your motto, Aquarius, you really like to have your way. But when you’re surrounded by family members during the holidays, you need to learn the art of compromise. You don’t need to bend your will entirely to that of every family member, but do make more of an effort to accommodate their needs, too. You’re a little high-strung even when it’s not the holiday season, so trying to do so much traveling, partying, shopping and planning in so little time can stress you out right quick. Just slow down a little. Ironically, by slowing down you’ll actually get more done and feel more relaxed.

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)
You’re a very private person, Pisces, so nosy family members or being put on the spot at a family gathering in which you feel exposed can be stressful. And you’re sensitive nature is also unnerved by loud family revelry, teasing and obnoxious behavior. You might become overly anxious in these family holiday situations because you don’t know how to shield yourself from such invasions. It’s difficult, but if you can give yourself a temporary attitude adjustment you’ll fare much better. Keep thinking, “This too shall pass,” and take little escapes for an hour here and there so you get plenty of time alone to process your emotions and clear your slate.

No matter what situation you face, find calm right now with a FREE Peace and Harmony Tarot Reading »

Let's Talk About Teacher Retention, Not Tenure

To hear some folks talk about tenure, you would think that one of the biggest issues facing education is a glut of teachers, a veritable mountain of wrinkled old classroom geezers blocking the career paths of a million Bright Young Things who are itching to get into the classroom. Oh, if only tenure and FILO didn’t allow them to sit there in lumpen uselessness while hot young blood congeals somewhere else, unused potential unrealized.

All the way back to education serial failure Michelle Rhee’s Time cover appearance, broom in hand, the prevailing image has been of the need to sweep away the tenure-protected deadwood. It’s a compelling image — it’s just not closely related to reality.

The Economic Policy Institute thinks we don’t even have enough teaching jobs. By their count, we should have 377,000 more job openings, which I’m pretty sure would take care of every enthusiastic twenty-something who’s allegedly languishing somewhere.

On top of that, we are losing somewhere in the neighborhood of a half million teachers each year. Everybody likes to quote the two most striking data points— fifty percent of new teachers leave within five years, and twenty percent of new teachers leave within the first three years. Recently TFA made the argument that their two-year teachers stay in a classroom longer than most traditional teacher school grads. That may or may not be accurate, but it’s certainly close enough to give one pause. Meanwhile, I can report first-hand that many college education programs are shriveling up and, if not outright dying, becoming shambling zombie shadows of their former selves. And a new report from California backs me up.

This report from April highlights some of the trends. The teacher force is very female, and very white. In other words, the teacher population looks less and less like the student population. And there’s no good news to report on the effort to fix that imbalance. Black men are entering the profession in huge numbers– and leaving it in even huger numbers.

And into this picture we have Silicon Valley moguls telling us that the problem with education is that we can’t fire people enough.

You will occasionally hear a stat thrown around along the lines of “Last year in North Pennsyltucky, only twelve teachers were fired out of sixty gabbillion employed in the state.” This is supposed to alarm us with the slackitude of schools’ firing skills, and serve as proof that zillions of terrible teachers are still in the classroom, lazily tenured and blissfully unfired. This is baloney. I will admit that when I entered teaching, it was a field where an occasional lazy person could hide and while away the time until retirement. But that was thirty-some years ago; today teachers have to slog away just to keep their heads above water. The high attrition rate for beginning teachers tells me that many young men and women are saying, “Damn– this is hard work that I don’t think I can do very well. I’m outta here!” I believe a huge number of not-so-awsome proto-teachers are showing themselves the door before anybody else has to.

Why else are we hemorrhaging teachers? In that study linked above, Richard Ingersoll wrote this:

In short, the data suggest that school staffing problems are rooted in the way schools are organized and the way the teaching occupation is treated and that lasting improvements in the quality and quantity of the teaching workforce will require improvements in the quality of the teaching job.

In other words, making teaching jobs crappier and less secure is not likely to get people to stick around.

New York City schools played with the tenure thing, creating a sort of tenure twilight. Some folks thought a study of the system proved that you could get weaker teachers to go away on their own. I’m pretty sure that it proved you could get any teachers to go away if you told them they had no job security in their present location.

Everything– everything– tells us that if our goal really is to put a great teacher in every classroom, reformsters, educational thought leaders, and rich unelected amateurs who somehow get to set education policy are going about it exactly backwards. The attacks on tenure are literally the exact opposite of what is needed.

Of course, if the actual goal is to give schools a labor force that is cheaper and more easily controlled, then we are right on track. If we are trying to manufacture a staffing crisis so that we can say that we must issue emergency low-wage teaching credentials to all sentient beings in America, then we are on the right track. If we are trying to chase teachers away from large urban districts so that those districts (and their big beautiful piles of money) can be divided up by charter privateers, we are on the right track.

But if we want to talk about improving the teaching force, about making it better resemble the student population, about putting great teachers in front of all students– if we want to talk about those things, then we need to stop talking about tenure and start talking about retention. What people actually choose to talk about tells us a great deal about their actual goals.

Originally posted in Curmudgucation

Google Street View cleavage snap leads to penalty

street viewGoogle’s Street View has caught some interesting things over the years, some of them fueling conspiracy theories, others being less fun but no less notable. Sometimes it catches things inappropriate, however, as was the case with Maria Pia Grillo of Montreal, who was sitting on her porch when the Google mobile drove by. It caught her in a picture leaning … Continue reading

Samsung Galaxy A5 and A3 arrive with svelte all-metal unibody

Rumors can be put to rest, with Samsung introducing the new Galaxy A5 and Galaxy A3 handsets tonight. The phones come in a rainbow of colors, each sporting a full metal unibody and the design we saw leak earlier this month. The two handsets are largely the same, differing the most with their displays (5-inches and 4.5-inches, respectively) and their … Continue reading

The largest hot air balloon festival in the world is breathtakingly epic

The largest hot air balloon festival in the world is breathtakingly epic

Time lapse anything and it immediately turns epic. Take something as kooky as the annual hot air balloon festival in Albuquerque, New Mexico where 750 hot air balloons get together to lift off and put it in a time lapse video and it looks absolutely incredible. It’s like a ballet in the air.

Read more…



Creepy App Uses Healthkit To Say How Long You Have To Live

Creepy App Uses Healthkit To Say How Long You Have To Live

Most Healthkit apps are single-mindedly practical, created with the sole aim of making you healthier or tracking your sleep. This app is the opposite. This app wants to creep you out big time.

Read more…



'Arrested Development' season four is getting a re-edit

It wasn’t a huge mistake, but the structure that Arrested Development’s fourth season used was a bit off-putting for some viewers. Each episode followed the foibles of single members of the Bluth family in a few different timelines, and the early…

Samsung's all-metal Galaxy A5 and A3 are its slimmest smartphones ever

A unibody metal body, 5-inch AMOLED display, 13-megapixel camera, a claim as Samsung’s “thinnest smartphone to date” and yet, this isn’t a flagship smartphone. Especially for Halloween – or not related at all – the Galaxy A5 and A3 yet more…

Super Slow Motion Surfing Video Is Heavy And Beautiful

No wave will ever look heavier than it does at 1,000 frames per second. That super slow frame rate will also give everyone a whole new appreciation for the athleticism and risks in surfing. Shot with $235,000 worth of Phantom Camera equipment, a video by surf cinematographer Chris Bryan features some of the finest surfers in the world doing what they do best — all in super slow motion.

It makes for an astonishing 6 minutes.

The athleticism of surfers is often overlooked (thanks Spicoli stereotypes), but the enormous talent displayed in this video refuses to be ignored. With that many frames per second, every ebb and flow of the water — surfing’s ever-changing playing field — is dramatically jaw-dropping.

Pro circuit favorites John-John Florence and Kelly Slater make impressive appearances in the video. We just wish we could watch Slater’s now-legendary 540 in slow mo. But that might make our heads explode.

Lead Well: How to Avoid Making Your Best People Care Less

Whether you lead a team of two or 2,000, it’s likely you’ve noticed the value of hiring and retaining capable, self-motivated people. Yet it’s all too common–and completely avoidable–that you inadvertently do little things that may de-motivate your “go to” people in big ways. Here are ten life-tested watch list items to make sure that as a leader, you’re not making your best people care less:

  1. Be candid, direct and timely with constructive feedback. Don’t hold back a helpful observation for your person’s annual or semi-annual review. Deliver it, even when it’s a hard message, and particularly if/when you find yourself wanting to avoid it.
  2. There will be ebbs and flows in the volume of work, so it’s important your people can flex with demands, but are not overloaded in a prolonged, burnout-inducing way. It’s important to your people that you actually care about their workload–so I suggest from time to time you actively check in with them about their volume of work in relation to their capacity.
  3. Tap in to (and take seriously) your people’s experience, knowledge, and ideas. Be respectful and appreciative of their ideas, even when you may disagree or feel you have better ones. Hear them out, ask clarifying questions, and seek first to understand them.
  4. Given times you may be more and less busy yourself, overall don’t be aloof, opaque or unapproachable. On average, be more responsive and available to your people than not, ensuring you spend time with them regularly.
  5. Show interest in and actively support your people’s learning and career development. Ask them questions about where they want to head and why, and see what you can do to help them accordingly.
  6. Recognize your people’s accomplishments, spotlight them in more senior forums, and make sure they get credit for wins. Don’t take credit for your people’s work.
  7. Don’t ask or tell your people to do things you wouldn’t be perfectly willing to do yourself.
  8. When you give your people responsibility for something, give them authority to act on it in their own way, and a wide enough berth to “fail small” if needed to learn something.
  9. From time to time, ask your people for candid, constructive feedback about how you are leading them; take what they say to heart, and if it rings true (whether or not you agree with it) do something about it.
  10. Ensure the impact of your leadership on your people, and that of your organization on the world overall are both positive, and therefore sustainable.