Why Are So Many Women Ignoring Heart Attack Symptoms?

Heart disease is a leading cause of death for women, and yet women are more likely than men to dismiss pain or symptoms of heart problems, and to delay seeking medical help — a “dangerous game” that experts say may have serious health implications.

Though heart symptoms are similar for both men and women, the way that people perceive their symptoms and the point at which they are moved to seek medical help can vary widely.

Women may be more likely than men to exhibit an ‘optimism bias’ — a cognitive bias that causes them to believe they are less at risk for negative outcomes than they actually are — than men, which can keep them from seeking medical assistance and could worsen their condition, according to new research from the Harvard School of Public Health.

“The main danger is that when someone comes to the hospital with a more severe or advanced stage of heart disease, there are simply fewer treatment options available,” epidemiologist Dr. Catherine Kreatsoulas, Heart and Stroke Foundation research fellow at the Harvard School of Public Health and lead author of the study, said in a statement.

Kreatsoulas and colleagues conducted their research on patients with suspected coronary artery disease who were about to undergo their first coronary angiogram test. In the first part of the study, researchers interviewed cardiac patients about their experience of angina (chest pain caused by reduced blood flow to the heart) and their decision to seek medical care. Angina is a sign that the organ isn’t getting as much blood and oxygen as it needs, which can be experienced as pressure and tightness in the chest or a burning sensation, and is a warning sign of elevated risk for heart attack or cardiac arrest.

The second part of the study brought in a new group of patients and documented, by gender, when and why patients sought care. Kreatsoulas noted that it was difficult to determine exactly how long patients waited, due to human error in recalling time of events.

“While we do have time estimates from the patients in our study, we are weary of hinging too much weight on them,” Kreatsoulas said in an email to the Huffington Post. “What we do observe consistently across studies is that women with heart disease, come to hospital with more advance stages of disease, supporting the denial stage hypothesis.”

The researchers identified six characteristic stages in the transition from first experiencing cardiac symptoms like angina to seeking medical help, which they refer to as the symptomatic tipping point:

  1. A period of uncertainty (patient attributes their symptoms to another health condition)
  2. Denial or dismissal of symptom
  3. Seeking help or guidance from a third party such as a friend of family member
  4. Recognition of severity of symptoms with feelings of defeat
  5. Seeking medical attention
  6. Acceptance of situation

Women, they found, spent longer in the denial phase than men did — among the second group, researchers found that women were one and half times more likely than men to wait for symptoms to become more severe and more frequent before seeking medical help. When women experienced even a small improvement of symptoms, they then dismissed the problem for a longer period of time, according to Kreatsoulas.

So why might this be the case? Kreatsoulas explains that women may prioritize their concern for others and focus on care-taking over concern for their own well-being, or could be attributed to the false perception of heart disease as being a “man’s disease.”

But the reality is that heart disease is very much a women’s disease as well. Recent research found that women comprise around one-quarter of heart attack sufferers among people under 55, but that women fare worse after heart attack than men, as they stay longer in the hospital on average and have a higher risk of dying in the hospital.

“Heart disease is a leading cause of death and can strike anyone,” Heart and Stroke Foundation spokesperson Dr. Beth Abramson said in a statement. “Making healthy choices is an important part of prevention, but understanding the symptoms and acting on them without delay can also save lives.”

Kreatsoulas added, “We urge women and men alike to be proactive and attuned with their bodies.”

The findings were presented at the Canadian Cardiovascular Congress.

Why More Women and Doctors Should Consider This Kind of Birth Control

What do you think of when someone says “birth control”? Chances are you think of a pack of pills. Or maybe you think of the ring and the patch, which are essentially pills delivered in other ways. When girls and women come to my office looking for birth control, they are usually thinking of pills. And in the past, I was right on board with recommending them unless there was a reason not to, such as a medical condition that made estrogen unsafe. But several years ago, with the help of the World Health Organization counseling form, I totally changed my approach to how I talk about birth control, especially for young women.

I am seeing young women in my office who are attending college and are looking for options to prevent pregnancy. When they come to see me, I will ask them: What is the most important feature of a birth control method for you? I hope they all answer with one word: effectiveness. While safety, lack of side effects and ease of use are all very important, effectiveness is the top priority if you don’t want to become pregnant.

What many people don’t know is that pills are not the most effective type of birth control — especially if you may not remember to take them every day. Realistically, the chance of pregnancy using pills is about 9 percent, which means 9 in 100 women will become pregnant each year while using birth control pills. [1] Today, other methods are available with much lower pregnancy rates. And isn’t that what birth control is all about?

Taking a Fresh Look at LARCs

The most effective reversible (non-permanent) birth control methods are long-acting reversible contraceptives, or LARCs, which stay in your body for a given length of time. For all of these, the chance of pregnancy is less than 1 percent a year, well under that of pills. [1] LARCs include the subdermal implant (Nexplanon) and intrauterine devices (IUDs, Mirena, Paragard, and Skyla). Many of these have a bad reputation based on outdated research, so let’s examine the accurate facts about each option.

Implants
Nexplanon is a rod about the size of a small matchstick that is inserted under the skin of the upper inner arm in a doctor’s office using just local anesthesia. The insertion process takes less than five minutes. Each day for three years, a small amount of progestin hormone is released from the implant, circulating through the body and preventing conception. And the best part? You don’t have to remember to do anything except swap it for a new one in three years. When you want to get pregnant, or if you don’t like the implant, it can be removed in the office. As with the Depo-Provera shot, Nexplanon users don’t usually have regular periods. Bleeding may be sporadic and unpredictable, but is usually not heavy.

Intrauterine Devices
Intrauterine devices (IUDs) are small T-shaped plastic inserts that are placed into the uterus in the office by your doctor or advanced practice nurse. A plastic string comes off the bottom of the T and extends about an inch into the upper vagina. The IUD works by preventing sperm from reaching the egg. People who don’t want to use “post conception” methods will be happy to know that the number of pregnancies lost after fertilization is much lower with the IUD than on cycles where birth control isn’t used. If the woman is happy with the method, the IUD can be swapped for a new one every three to 10 years (depending on the type).

Not Your Mother’s IUD

IUDs got a bad rep in the ’70s when the Dalkon shield was found to cause pelvic infections, infertility and chronic pain due to a poorly-designed string which allowed bacteria to travel into the uterus. Design changes have almost eliminated these risks. Those who are most informed — including many gynecologists — choose the IUD as their preferred birth control method.

Hormonal IUDS
The Mirena (up to five years) and Sklya (up to three years) both release a small amount of progestin hormone into the uterus each day. Very little hormone reaches the rest of the body, so even girls and women who can’t take oral or injectable hormonal birth control usually don’t have problems with these hormone-secreting IUDs. In the first four to six months, bleeding can be irregular and annoying. After that, most users have either no bleeding at all or a light period once a month. Mirena is appropriate for most girls and women, while Skyla is specifically designed for use in those who have never given birth. Mirena and Sklya are particularly good for girls and women who suffer from menstrual cramps or heavy periods.

Non-hormonal IUD
The Copper T IUD (Paragard), which lasts for up to 10 years, has a small amount of copper on it that is toxic to sperm without the need for hormones. Women often choose the Paragard for its 10-year effectiveness and lack of hormones. The Paragard is the only LARC where you can expect regular predictable periods, although they may be heavier and you may experience more cramping than usual.

Get More Information

If you follow 1,000 couples who are having sex regularly without birth control, about 850 will be pregnant in a year. On pills, about 90 in 1,000 couples will be faced with unplanned pregnancy. With LARCs, and depending on the method, that number drops to about three. [1]

LARCs may not be the right option for everyone, but more young women should consider them, given their effectiveness. All choices come with risks and benefits. If you care about your method’s effectiveness, talk to your health care provider about which LARC might be right for you.

References:
[1] Association of Reproductive Health Professionals

Recommended Readings:
Long-Acting Reversible Options Beat Pill, Study Shows
New England Journal of Medicine article on LARCs
Decision tool by Association of Reproductive Health Professionals
U.S. Selected Practice Recommendations for Contraceptive Use, 2013 (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)
Increasing Use of Contraceptive Implants and Intrauterine Devices To Reduce Unintended Pregnancy (The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists)
Association of Reproductive Health Professionals patient resources
Planned Parenthood Birth Control

Trade Trumps Anti-Corruption

Important trading powers, such as Japan, the Netherlands, South Korea and Brazil, are failing to enforce national laws that call for criminal prosecution of companies from their countries that bribe foreign government officials and politicians.

Indeed, only four countries, which between them represent almost one-quarter of global exports, are fully enforcing their own laws to curb corporate corruption — the United States, Germany, Switzerland and the United Kingdom — according to a new report, “Exporting Corruption,” published by Transparency International.

The widespread failure by many important exporting countries to curb business corruption can only be explained by their belief that boosting exports is far more important than reducing corruption. By turning a blind eye to the bribe paying by companies from their countries, these governments expect their enterprises will win trade deals that bring profits home and create jobs as well.

The current situation is scandalous. The non-enforcement of corporate anti-corruption laws encourages foreign government politicians and officials to seek bribes when negotiating government contracts with multinational enterprises. The corporate bribery, of course, distorts global market business competition.

No major trading nation takes a tougher line on corporations paying bribes to foreign officials than the United States, but this may well place U.S. companies at a competitive disadvantage in world trade.

Anti-Bribery Laws

This was certainly the case from 1978 to 1998 when the U.S. alone had a “Foreign Corrupt Practices Act” (FCPA) that made it a crime for a U.S. company to pay bribes to foreign government officials. The unlevel playing field that U.S. corporations confronted was meant to change, however, in 1998 when the Anti-Bribery Convention of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) came into force. The Convention mostly replicates the details of the FCPA and 41 countries have signed it.

However, there seems to be a major gulf between signing a law and enforcing it when trade deals are in play. The victims are honest companies that refuse to pay bribes. Just as importantly, the victims are also the world’s poor. When government officials see the opportunity for kickbacks from contracts then, all too often, they are willing to overpay for imports and purchase shoddy products. The citizens of their countries suffer as a result.

It is time that the OECD Anti-Bribery Convention was fully enforced. Just how bad matters are is revealed in the “Exporting Corruption” report. It assesses countries in four categories relative to their enforcement of the OECD pact:

  • Active Enforcement: just four countries, although they represent fully 23.1 percent of world exports — U.S., Germany, U.K. and Switzerland.
  • Moderate Enforcement: five countries with 8.3 percent of world exports — Italy, Canada, Australia, Austria and Finland.
  • Limited Enforcement: eight countries with 7.6 percent of world exports –France, Sweden, Norway, Hungary, South Africa, Argentina, Portugal and New Zealand.
  • Little or No Enforcement: 22 countries with 27 percent of world exports — Japan, Netherlands, Korea (South), Russia, Spain, Belgium, Mexico, Brazil, Ireland, Poland, Turkey, Denmark, Czech Republic, Luxembourg, Chile, Israel, Slovak Republic, Colombia, Greece, Slovenia, Bulgaria and Estonia.

The U.S. Department of Justice has long been the largest and toughest enforcer of corporate anti-corruption laws. According to the new Transparency International report, between 2010 and 2013 there were at least 99 investigations initiated, 14 cases commenced (12 of which were major cases) and 132 cases concluded (67 were major cases that concluded with substantial sanctions).

For many years the Germans, who pre-1998 allowed corporations to deduct their foreign bribes from their taxes, failed to enforce the OECD Convention. Then prosecutors discovered that Siemens, the largest engineering company in Europe, had a sophisticated global bribe-paying system in place involving vast payments. The Siemens disclosures created a public furor in Germany and encouraged prosecutors to take Germany’s commitments under the OECD treaty seriously. In the last four years they have initiated investigations into 74 companies.

Silver Lining

The U.S. Department of Justice’s ability to bring cases since the OECD Convention came into effect has been increased by the willingness of a growing number of foreign prosecutors from many different countries to cooperate and provide evidence. For example, last year, the U.S. prosecuted four executives from France’s Alstom SA company for paying bribes in a deal with an Indonesian public utility — the case was made in part because of information provided by Indonesia’s Corruption Eradication Commission.

Fritz Heimann, a former lawyer at General Electric and one of the founders of Transparency International, has long been engaged in monitoring the OECD Convention’s enforcement. He argues that it would now be helpful if the OECD collected and published data on mutual legal assistance requests relating to foreign bribery. This would add clarity to which governments are, and are not, cooperating with the U.S. on enforcement actions.

A Level Playing Field

The non-enforcement of corporate anti-corruption laws by many countries dare not be a pretext for watering down U.S. laws, as the U.S. Chamber of Commerce would like to see. In fact, it should instead be an encouragement for even greater prosecuting zeal by the U.S. Justice Department.

This is certainly the way the Obama Administration appears to approach the issue. The number of cases being investigated and prosecuted now by the U.S. authorities is high and the scale of punishments is mounting. The key is that the U.S. authorities have cast a wide net, not just going after U.S. companies, but also foreign firms that have U.S. operations or are listed on U.S. stock exchanges. ​

A comprehensive listing of anti-corruption enforcement actions against multinational companies is constantly being updated by Trace International that plays important roles working with honest businesses to strengthening their anti-corruption compliance systems and approaches.

Ernst Lies, Gardner Won't Answer Questions, and Other Tales From This Koch-fueled Election

Every election has some strangeness to it, some quirks that make old pols like me shake our heads and say “really?” But this one could be the strangest of all. Just when you think a race is on the verge of being written off, a whole new set of polls comes out to show it is tight as can be — the Senate races in GA, KY, and most recently AK are all cases in point. Democrats that everyone thought would be safe at the beginning of the cycle, like Martha Coakley in MA, are in real danger. Heavily Republican states like KS and SD have become wildly unpredictable battlegrounds. What has seemed at times like a predictably Republican year has over 20 different Senate and governor races too close to call less than a week from Election Day. Will we find ourselves surprised next Tuesday night? The odds are definitely in favor of pundits being embarrassed.

What is highly predictable is the massive spending by the Koch brothers’ front groups and others of their ilk. It seems to have no end. And of course, it is also no surprise that the candidates being helped by them doing their best to pretend there is no connection.

My organization, American Family Voices, supports the work of grassroots journalist Lauren Windsor, and she has been on the road in four battleground states with Koch-fueled Senate candidates, all of whom spoke at the infamous Koch retreat with other billionaires at a California resort last June. Lauren managed to get all of them to answer at least a couple of questions, and the level of evasion and obfuscation was impressive even to me, who has been watching candidates evade and obfuscate for 35 years.

The biggest moment in her tour was when Joni Ernst, the Republican candidate the Kochs picked from absolute obscurity more than a year ago and made into a viable candidate, blatantly lied about having any contact at all with the outside groups, which are mostly funded by the Kochs. In fact, the two groups most closely aligned with the Kochs — Freedom Partners and Americans for Prosperity — have already spent over $4.25 million in Iowa, according to OpenSecrets.org. Here’s a short video that summarizes just how blatant the Ernst lie was…

No contact? Not only was she on a panel at the conference officially co-hosted by Freedom Partners and AFP that talked about the need to raise money for those groups ad campaigns, the audio makes clear that she had attended at least one other Koch conference a year before, when she was a completely unknown state Senator with about 1% of the vote in a multi-candidate field. The Kochs picked her to be their candidate, groomed her, funded her, and — as Ernst herself said — started her “trajectory.” That’s an awful lot of “contact”, if you ask me.

Then there’s Cory Gardner, the Republican Senate candidate in CO. When Lauren showed up to ask him specifics about what he would cut out of the federal budget, rather than answering the question, he got paranoid about someone asking him such a direct question, repeatedly asking her, “Who are you with?” And then Gardner just flat out refused to answer the question. Given how strongly he proclaimed he wanted to cut the federal budget, he sure seemed panicky about having to answer questions about those cuts…

In AR, Tom Cotton vehemently claimed he would not cut Social Security or Medicare. Yet he voted for the Ryan budget, which privatizes and slashes the hell out of Medicare. And he enthusiastically embraced the Kochs’ agenda while partying with them at that resort in CA, an agenda that has for several decades included cutting and privatizing Social Security. As to a question about why he went to the Koch conference at all, Cotton avoided that like the plague…

Finally, in KY, Lauren asked Mitch McConnell about something he promised the Kochs and the other billionaires in CA in his speech, which is that he would work to deregulate Wall Street. McConnell, while lying about whether he would support the deregulation he had promised and has supported his entire career, resorted to glib sloganeering: Dodd-Frank is “Obamacare” for banks…

The lies, the evasion, the phobic avoidance — it would all be pretty entertaining if the stakes weren’t so high. But they are, indeed: McConnell promised the Kochs and their billionaire friends that the Senate just wouldn’t debate proposals to help low and middle income folks like minimum wage, unemployment comp, and student loans, and that he would help Wall Street, big oil and coal companies, and health insurance companies by attaching riders to budget bills to force deregulation of those industries.

The biggest question of this election is whether the Republicans will win control of the Senate, so that McConnell can work his magic for his billionaire friends. But right behind that in importance is this inextricably linked question: do the Koch candidates win their incredibly close elections? The biggest investments (as they call them) the Kochs have made are in Senate races in NC, LA, AK, AR, IA, CO, and of course to support their loyal follower McConnell in KY. And they have made winning the Governor’s races in WI, MI, FL, NE, KS, and AZ a huge priority as well. And pretty much all of these races are too close to call.

Will the Kochs win this election? Stay tuned. This election will keep us on the edge of our seats right up until the end.

Can Long Island Be Saved? — Part X: Governor Cuomo Announces An Action Plan For Long Island

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Graphic courtesy The Nature Conservancy, Stony Brook University’s School of Marine and Atmospheric Sciences and LICCRA

Readers of this series ‘Can Long Island Be Saved?’ will recall the flurry of public meetings and forums from this May. Here’s a great link to all the key materials from the three meetings called for by the Governor. Local, state, and federal officials and policy makers and various environmental groups studying Long Island’s groundwater pollution crisis convened for a series of discussions about the collapse of our marine and coastal environments and what could still be done to stem the tide. What is Long Island without fishing, shell fishing, beach going, boating, and swimming? What happens to our coasts when the marshes and sea grass are gone, how much more vulnerable will we be? How do we stem the tide, reverse the precipitous decline, and build a Long Island we would pass on to future generations?

IBM Smarter Cities awarded a $500,000 grant in the form of consulting services to Suffolk County to help in the planning of a major upgrade in waste water treatment and management. How could the various agencies and levels of government all work in coordination? When the main problem we face is 500,000 septic tanks leeching nitrogen into our groundwater, how do we come up with an actionable plan to replace them with sewers and with state of the art on site denitrification systems? How would all that be funded? What can we possibly do to stop the nitrogen fueled algal blooms that have destroyed so much habitat in our bays and ponds? How can we protect our drinking water below us from improperly disposed pharmaceuticals and poisonous household waste, pesticides, toxic plumes, fertilizers and that nitrogen?

To the vast credit of our elected officials, they have together grasped the urgency of the matter — we need to act now and to act boldly and with concerted effort. We have no choice. The New York State Department of Environmental Conservation lists all our waters as impaired. Marine and aquatic species are rapidly disappearing, habitats mostly already vanished. In the face of all this, we know what needs to be done, but do we have the political will and the public support to do what needs to be done?

The public release of the collected findings of Governor Cuomo’s task force was released yesterday, and should be required reading for all citizens of Long Island, for the very success of our efforts will depend mightily on how much the public is aware of the problems we face. We need to together make an investment in our collective future, and for that we all need to know what’s at stake, and what our investment will buy — a sustainable Long Island.

Here then is a link to the press release announcing the actions that are to be taken to improve water quality and coastal resiliency on Long Island.

As Founder and Executive Director of Save The Great South Bay a 501(c)3 Non Profit (Find us on Facebook!), I was delighted to see that $383 million will be allotted by New York State to address four major water problems affecting the bay:

1. Forge River Watershed centered around Mastic: An estimated $196 million project would address storm impacts and reduce extensive nitrogen pollution to the Forge River and Great South Bay. The proposed project would connect parcels in the area to a new sewer collection system that will flow to a new wastewater treatment plant (that would include nitrogen treatment) located on municipal property near the Brookhaven Town Airport.

2. Carlls River Watershed centered around North Babylon and West Babylon: An estimated $136 million project would address storm impacts and reduce nitrogen and pathogen pollution in the Carlls River and Great South Bay. The proposed project would connect parcels to the Bergen Point sewer system within the Southwest Sewer District.

3. Connetquot River Watershed centered around Great River: An estimated $33 million would be used to address nitrogen pollution and pathogens in Connetquot River, Nicoll Bay and Great South Bay. The proposed project would connect parcels to the Bergen Point sewer system.

4. Patchogue River Watershed centered around Patchogue: An estimated $18 million would be used to address nitrogen and pathogen pollution in Patchogue River and Great South Bay. The proposed project would connect parcels to the Patchogue sewer system within the Patchogue Sewer District.

These efforts will make a palpable difference in the bay’s health. We still have to contend with the septic tank issue, but champions of The Great South Bay have to feel encouraged by these actions.

The governor is also continuing to look for funding for an ocean outfall pipe to go with a new Bay Park Sewage Treatment Plant to replace the antiquated one damaged by Sandy. As the governor put it,

“We are not going to stop until we get the outflow pipe for Bay Park because it is ludicrous to be dumping the treated sewage right there on the coast.”

The science agrees with him. Even highly treated effluent has a nitrogen load that in the confined waters of The Western Bays is toxic to fish, shellfish, and marshes. A pipe run three miles out into the open ocean will transport the water that will be treated at the new $800 mil plant so that it can dissipate in the ocean at a safe level of dilution.

Resting behind the announcement yesterday is The NYSDEC Report, Coastal Resiliency and Water Quality in Nassau and Suffolk Counties.

Many will readily attribute yesterday’s announcement to election year grand standing, but the fact remains that we are engaged in a fight for Long Island’s future. Without clean water, without our bays, what is Long Island? People across the political spectrum, all those who live here and who know the bay and its problems, the 1800+ members of Save The Great South Bay are in agreement: Something large scale and comprehensive needs to be done and quickly for the sake of all our waters. Yesterday was a great day for The Great South Bay. In the weeks months and years ahead we will need much more to happen, but these funds and these actions have pointed the whole effort in the right direction.

Even if you are not prepared to vote for them next Tuesday, you should take time out to thank our political leadership for getting this one right, and learn what needs to be done in your community and how you can help. Long Island — for future generations.

The next installment of Can Long Island Be Saved? will focus on various 21st Century strategies to restore marine and estuarine habitats as a means of increasing coastal resiliency. The question will be ‘if we had, say, $100 million, what could be done for The Great South Bay given current science.’

How to Save Yourself From the Tantalizing Lie of 'Later'

The days have silent edges now that I’ve returned from my vacation in Hawaii. When I glance up from my computer, light spills between the blinds, casting the shadow of bars along my carpet in L.A. I’d forgotten the inordinate amount of time I spend in my apartment here. A restless yearning fills me, and a craving for a cinnamon latte from a coffee shop 2,500 miles away.

*

My last few weeks in Hawaii, I’d wake at 7 a.m. to the buzzing of a text asking me if I wanted to walk. I was the puppy wagging her tail to the intonation of syllables, throwing off the covers and brushing my teeth in puffy eyed slumber.

Twenty minutes later, a friend and I wandered through the forest under a canopy of trees, sharing conversations like games of marbles, clicking together the future and the past.

We’d end up at a mom and pop coffee shop relaxing in wicker chairs. Porcelain red mugs held foam in their wide mouths, an elegant pine tree design captured in the silky mix of espresso and froth.

We’d laugh till our cheeks hurt and traverse five conversations like race car drivers of words.

Every moment of my time back at home was spent with family or friends. I slept less than I had in months and was constantly on the go, yet I was incredibly happy and peaceful. I hadn’t realized that a part of me had become a thirsty waterwheel and interaction and connection fueled the spokes.

*

Today, back in my apartment in L.A., I’m missing morning conversations with friends, and the hum of my body under the sun, in perpetual motion.

I close the computer and wander aimlessly through my apartment. It’s past noon and I haven’t yet brushed my hair or changed out of my pajamas. My thoughts begin to spin towards comparison, to every magical thing I could be doing if I were back on the island.

Then reality sinks in. The reason vacation felt magical was because time was a finite resource.

For the many years I lived in Hawaii, I didn’t wake up every morning and take lavish walks through the forest, have coffee dates, or frolic around daily with friends. I’d often turn down 10pm invites to a friend’s house because, “it was late,” and I was settled in, watching a movie.

The difference in how I treated life was based on the resource of time. On vacation, time was limited so I arranged my life to be full. When I lived there, I became comfortable and lazy and told myself that I could do things later.

But “later” offers us a tantalizing lie. It makes us believe that things will always be the way they are, like a picture, frozen in time.

I think about a cinnamon latte and a late evening walk under the streetlights. What if those moments were the last time I saw my friend or my mother?

Years ago a friend drove me to my car after a seminar we both attended. Our conversation somehow veered towards pancakes and they knew of a great place that stayed open all night, suggesting we go. It was late so I declined, saying we could plan for sometime next week. They died a few days later.

I think about that moment sometimes, not in a scary or panicked way, but as a soft, loving reminder that time doesn’t always do what we think it will do. Pictures change. Life, like a river, continues moving.

My vacation reminded me that time is finite, which is what makes it magical, and valued as a precious resource. “Later” tantalizes us with its lies, but only if we let it.

Instead we can listen to the soft and loving reminders:

Nurture connections, say yes to opportunities, tell people how they rock your world, take the first step towards that goal or dream, and put yourself out there.

Allow yourself to make memories with the people you love, even if that rare night of shenanigans and laughter with friends is the reason you need that extra cup of coffee or fresh juice the next morning.
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Why Skinny Jeans Keep You From Being Happy

I dumped my skinny jeans into the Goodwill bag. I was so freaking tired of them, and to me, they symbolized all the things I did/said/wore in an effort to be like all of the cute girls in carpool line. I mean, everyone was wearing them, so how could I not own a pair — or 10? But every time I wrangled and wiggled my way into them, my legs looked like sausages freshly stuffed into their casings. And then, that critical little voice in my head would tell me that I was too fat, and if only I could lose those 10 pounds, I could look fab in my jeggings. We all have that critical little voice in our brain telling us we’re not good enough, we don’t have enough, we’re not pretty enough. So what if we decided to silence that voice and tried being who we really are instead of who we think we should be? What if we chose to live a life where we weren’t chasing the skinny girls, the popular girls, the girls who like to tell us constantly how great their lives are on Facebook? We’re beautiful, talented and amazing, and actually living our lives like we believe it can start right now. Here’s how to begin:

1. Acknowledge that you are so sick of jeggings. You decide that you want what makes you happy, confident and fabulous. Those skinny jeans just don’t suit you, and clinging to a fad that really should only be worn by 6 ft. tall women will only make that bitchy judge in your head scream louder. Start the process right now — ditch that skin tight denim and take a deep breath. You’re on your way.

2. Get Going. Once you’ve made the decision that you’re tired of trying to be someone else, you have to act on it. The Universe isn’t going to drop a care package of jeans on your lawn–you have to start doing the hard work. Take an objective look at where you are and where you want to go. What’s holding you back? What do you really love, even if it’s not cool or trendy? Get excited and take steps–even baby steps–incorporating things and ideas that make you smile.

3. Ask for help. Don’t try to go through this process alone. You need someone who is further along on this journey and can help you find your own path. You need your mentor to conduct a therapy session in your closet, so that when you’re ready, he can wrestle those MC Hammer pants out of your hands. Making life changes is hard, so lean into your mentor when you start getting discouraged and want to fall back into sweatpants.

4. Do the dirty work. Try on tons of different jeans. We have to try different things to see what works for us and what needs to be thrown onto the sale rack. It may feel like you’re grasping, trying anything and everything that might make you happy. You may even try on some things that your friends have or do, and that’s ok, but you need to remind yourself that while these things may work for them, something even more fabulous is waiting for you.

5. Throw yourself a little party. You ditched the constrictive skinny jeans and the symbols that they represent. No matter how small the achievement, revel in it. Have a cocktail right where you are. Pat yourself on the back and enjoy your moment of realizing that there’s a whole world out there void of skinnies, and you want to experience all of its possibilities. With each discovery of something wonderful, throw yourself a mini celebration. With every faux pas, do the same–not because you fell down, but because you got back up that much wiser.

6. Don’t stop just at jeans. Your whole wardrobe likely has clothes that you’ve kept around “just in case”, but they’re holding you back from realizing the true beauty of your mind, your soul and your backside. How can you shine if you are buried under that oversized crochet Christmas sweater that was the rage in 1989? (We clearly must have been in a national crisis if we thought it was worthy of a rage.) Don’t be scared to junk all of the things that worked in the past but just don’t do it for you anymore. It’s time to branch out and surround yourself with the things you truly adore and the people who see you for who you really are–and love you even more for it. Even in your MC Hammer’s.

Heather Sample Spires is a practicing attorney, wife and mother living in Atlanta who formerly only valued success, hard work and Louboutins. She is currently working on a humorous memoir recounting her rocky yet irreverently funny journey to find balance, love and purpose in her life.

Hekate: A Goddess for Halloween

This Halloween, take a look at the ghoulish décor at your local supermarket check-out line. You’ll see a familiar character, green-faced and festooned with warts: the Halloween Witch. HuffPost’s Antonia Blumberg wrote an excellent article about cultural appropriation during Halloween, but let’s take a closer look (if we dare) at the inspiration for the cackling Halloween hag, the patroness of witches: Hekate.

Charmed and Practical Magic

Much has been written about witches in film and television, but unlike Halloween’s typical threatening depictions, Hollywood’s witches are usually portrayed by glamorous actresses. Even with perfect hair and makeup, you’ll see Hekate’s influence in witch-centric films and television from recent decades: Witches of Eastwick, Practical Magic, Hocus Pocus, and Charmed.

There’s also the wonderful musical adaptation of Gregory Maguire’s book Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West. Other current TV and films with witches and their craft as central themes include American Horror Story: Coven, Witches of East End, and… Maleficent.

Hekate, Keeper of the Crossroads

Beyond Hollywood adaptations, who is Hekate? Hekate (or Hecate) most likely originated with the Carians of Asia Minor in Turkey and came to Greece in the 6th century BCE.

Known as a triple goddess of earth, sky, and sea, in mythological art and religious iconography Hekate was sometimes portrayed as three separate figures. In Rome, the poet Ovid (C1st B.C. to C1st A.D. (trans.Boyle)) wrote that Hekate’s three faces were turned outward so she could protect three-way crossroads.

2014-10-30-Hekate_copyright_Rob_KoopmanCreative_Commons.jpg

A goddess of magic, witchcraft, the moon, nighttime, ghosts and necromancy (communicating with the deceased), you will sometimes see Hekate holding keys to open the gates between the worlds. She also carried a torch to light the way, and a knife to separate the soul at the time of death, as well as for severing the umbilical cord at birth. Frequently attended by a dog or dogs, her customary offerings took place at a crossroad on the eve of a new or dark moon.

According to the Covenant of Hekate (excerpted from the book Hekate Liminal Rites by Sorita d’Este and David Rankine), Hekate was:

A liminal goddess who was present at all the boundaries and transitional moments in life. She was also an apotropaic (‘evil-averting’) protector and guide, as illustrated by some of the many titles she was given… over the thousands of years of her worship. Some of her well-known titles include:

• Chthonia (‘earthly one’),
• Dadouchos (‘torch-bearer’)
• Enodia (‘of the ways’)
• Kleidouchos (‘key-bearer’)
•Kourotrophos (‘child’s nurse’)
• Phosphorus (‘light-bearer’)
• Propolos (‘companion’)
• Propylaia (‘before the gate’)
• Soteira (‘saviour’)
• Triformis (‘three bodied’)
• Trioditis (‘of the three ways’)

Cast Away Your Beliefs

As Queen of the Night and the crossroads greeter of souls after death, Hekate is a great fit for Halloween. But, Hekate’s magic was not just about death and the underworld. As healer, she helped ease the transition of the dying, and she was also associated with sacred plants, wilderness, childbirth, protection, and growing and harvest — through her connection to the phases of the moon.

Sure, pop culture often makes Hekate look like the monstrous Wicked Witch of the West, an image most people have been raised to fear. But Hekate’s guidance is needed most as we age or are going through a difficult transition. When we experience times of darkness and self-searching — our own personal crossroads — Hekate can be a much needed ally. Call on her during prayer or meditation, and try using this Hekate Trance Loop I recorded to get you in the mood.

A Goddess for the Ages

Although we’ve mostly discussed Hekate’s visage of the crone, her modern priestesses sometimes take the form of fresh-faced college students, hip urban dwellers, and suburban moms toting trick-or-treaters. For a society that fears death and works hard to delay the aging process, regardless of the lines on your face, Hekate can help prepare all of us for the ultimate goodbye.

Laurie Lovekraft will be talking about Hekate and Halloween on UBN TV’s “On Air with Tony Sweet: Truth Be Told”; Friday, October 31, 4:00-6:00 pm PST, archives available online after the show.

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