'Tis the Season for Trampling: How to Stay Safe in Holiday Shopping Crowds

The 2014 holiday shopping season is upon us! Hooray? With media and advertisers bombarding us with “Black Friday” and “Small Business Saturday” and recent headlines about stores being fined for NOT being open on Thanksgiving Day, I think it’s safe to say that American hype about holiday shopping is out of control.

Sadly, hype and spending are not the only things that can be out of control about holiday shopping. A quick review of holiday shopping-related incidents of Christmas past (am I harkening Ebenezer Scrooge yet?) shows that danger and violence related to crowds have become an expected, if not accepted, part of the holiday shopping experience.

In 2011, a man named Walter Vance suffered a heart attack at a Target store in West Virginia, and holiday shoppers just stepped over him and kept shopping. He later died at the hospital.

This 2013 piece about Black Friday violence, specifically, catalogues a number of incidents from around the country, including stabbings, shootings, slashings, shoplifting, and more.

And in 2008, a Walmart employee was crushed to death by crowds clamoring to get holiday deals.

If recent history is to be any sort of indicator, we can probably expect similar reports of unruly crowds and violence this year. So what can you do to protect yourself and your family in a holiday shopping crowd?

This is where I bring in Dr. Steve Crimando, an expert in crisis management and disaster response. I’ve had the opportunity to hear him speak twice in the last year, and both times I’ve come away with practical information that can be put to use immediately. Steve studies the psychology underlying group, crowd and mob behavior, and he has extensive practical experience. For example, he is the man behind the scenes keeping people safe at events like SuperBowl XLVIII at the MetLife Stadium and many more.

According to Steve, “Not all crowds are violent, but all crowds are dangerous.” When crowds turn into mobs there are various physical and psychological factors contributing to the shift. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say that the context of holiday shopping sales checks off a lot of the requisite boxes. The sheer physics of an acquisition-motivated crowd can quickly become dire, and is the number one danger of being in a crowd. In deaths resulting from crowd-related injuries, most people die before hitting the ground.

People die standing up in crowds… from asphyxiation, and it’s called “crowd crush.” The compound force of five people can create vertical pressure of 766 pounds, which is enough to asphyxiate a person standing up. Add body heat, psychological and possible health factors, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

Here are Dr. Crimando’s tips that anybody can use when in a crowd:

1) Go in prepared — carry a mobile phone, identification, and a small flashlight.
2) Wear tie shoes with a low heel or no heel.
3) Avoid “dangerous” clothing that can get easily caught or yanked.
4) Don’t respond to taunts.
5) Stay on the periphery of the crowd, if possible.
6) Don’t stand near temporary structures.
7) Don’t stand against solid/immovable structures.
8) If you get caught up in a crowd, move diagonally.
9) If you drop something, let it go. Don’t bend down unnecessarily.
10) If you go down, get up as quickly as possible, any way you can.
11) If you go down and can’t get back up, keep moving, crawling if you have to.
12) If you go down, and can’t move, duck and cover while trying to create an air pocket.
13) Most importantly, pay attention to your surroundings, and stay calm.

And on that note… happy shopping!

(Author’s Note: For full disclosure, Dr. Crimando and I are both members of the Association of Threat Assessment Professionals. I am on the board of the Northeast Chapter.)

Ferguson and Racism: An Epistle to America

Dear America, we greet you as Christians who believe that freedom in Christ means that all persons deserve respect and equality before God and the law.

Today, we pray for Ferguson, the family of Michael Brown, and for people everywhere who are impacted by racism. We write to you as spiritual leaders of Metropolitan Community Churches (MCC) and join with the millions around the world who grieve the death of Michael Brown, who shot down with eight bullets while unarmed and holding his hands in the air. We grieve that the grand jury felt there was not even enough evidence to have this case go to trial. We grieve that so many people are in denial about the realities of racism today.

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MCC was founded almost 50 years ago to provide a spiritual home to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people. We have been a target of hate, and we come from all races. We know all oppression must be challenged because every person is created in the image of God. It is time for all faithful people around the world to pray and act to end racism.

As Christians, we remember how Jesus was challenged to go beyond his own cultural prejudice by a woman who was of the scorned Canaanite race. (Matthew 15:21-28) We remember the lives of so many African Americans who heard the Gospel and knew they were meant to be free. We remember all those of every race who have been willing to stand up — and even lay down their lives for freedom and justice — regardless of race, language, or identity.

As citizens of the world, we decry the use of war equipment to attack peaceful demonstrators. We stand up and speak out against the systematic criminalization of people of color. Just as Jesus overturned the tables of power and exploitation, surely Jesus would condemn a system that targets people by their skin color and economic status.

We must drop all pretense of so-called color blindness and pick up the mantle of prophecy to urge everyone to learn the facts about racial discrimination. In particular, to understand Ferguson, we must understand the larger realities of African Americans:

Humanity has the power to do great good. Systemic racism can be dismantled. The Berlin wall was toppled. Apartheid was overthrown. Nazi Germany was defeated. Slavery was stopped. Systems of oppression are constructed by human beings and can be deconstructed by human beings. Will it be easy? No, but like every good thing we work for, it will be worth the effort. Our only regret will be that we did not act more quickly.

We urge all people of good will to ACT TODAY.

The Council of Elders of Metropolitan Community Churches:
Rev. Dr. Nancy Wilson, Rev. Dr. Mona West, Rev. Hector Gutierrez, Rev. Darlene Garner

To learn more, here’s some background:

A Brief History of White Racism in the U.S. South

Parallels Between Lynching and Police Killings

Militarized Policing

Looking to a New Era for Women's HIV Prevention

This World AIDS Day, global resolve to end the AIDS epidemic has never been stronger. With its new Fast-Track strategy, UNAIDS has set ambitious goals for accelerated action in the fight against HIV. As Michel Sidibé, executive director of UNAIDS, said in launching the strategy, we have bent the trajectory of the epidemic and now have a five-year window of opportunity to break it for good.

Preventing HIV among women must be central to this effort.

While there is much progress to celebrate in HIV treatment and prevention, protecting women remains a major challenge. AIDS is the number-one killer of women ages 15 to 44 worldwide. Women are biologically more vulnerable to infection and face deep-rooted gender inequities that increase their risk. In sub-Saharan Africa, where the epidemic has taken the greatest toll, young women are at least twice as likely to contract HIV as young men.

Existing prevention methods such as male and female condoms are not always realistic options for women. They need tools they can use easily and discreetly.

Promising new products such as microbicides could soon transform how women protect themselves. These products are vaginal gels, rings, films and tablets that deliver the same types of antiretroviral (ARV) drugs used to successfully treat those already infected with HIV.

Two microbicides – a gel used around the time of sex and a monthly ring – are now being tested in late-stage clinical trials in Africa. We could know as soon as next year whether these products are effective in preventing HIV in women. The gel, developed by CONRAD, delivers the ARV tenofovir to protect against infection. The monthly ring, developed by the International Partnership for Microbicides (IPM), releases the ARV dapivirine and could be the first long-acting, female-controlled prevention method.

If effective, these products would expand women’s choices and revolutionize their HIV prevention options. A range of options gives women more control over their health: some may want to use an on-demand gel, others may prefer a daily pill and still others may choose a ring that provides sustained protection. To capture the promise of these technologies, we need to be ready for results.

Getting an effective product approved so women can use it can take several years in some countries, but the work to integrate microbicides into the broader HIV prevention toolkit must start now. Successful microbicide introduction will require continued conversations with the women who will use them, well-funded and supportive policies, trained health workers, effective supply chains and strong partnerships.

At IPM, efforts are underway to prepare for future studies that would give women who participated in the current trials early access to the ring once its safety and efficacy have been determined. We are also engaging stakeholders in African countries to help advance the approval process in places where women are at highest risk for HIV.

Even if both the gel and the ring are effective, research must continue. No single product will be right for everyone. We must keep investing in research to develop different prevention technologies that fit women’s individual lifestyles and preferences and help us stay one step ahead of the ever-evolving HIV virus.

As we enter 2015, the global community has an unprecedented opportunity to stem the spread of the AIDS epidemic. This will not be possible if we leave women behind. Together, let’s make this the start of a new era for women’s HIV prevention.

George Stephanopoulos Conducts First Interview With Ferguson Officer Darren Wilson

ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos has conducted the very first interview with Darren Wilson, the Ferguson, Missouri, police officer who shot and killed 18-year-old Michael Brown in August.

ABC News broke into scheduled programming Tuesday afternoon to give a brief preview of the interview. Stephanopoulos told viewers that he spent more than an hour with Wilson in a “secret location.” He said Wilson told him that he is “sorry” for the death of Brown, but that he would not do “anything different” if he were to relive that day.

“He does not think he could have done anything differently,” Stephanopoulos said. “He says he did what he was trained to do. He has a clean conscience over his actions that day.”

The network confirmed in a press release that the rest of the interview will air Tuesday, Nov. 25, on “World News with David Muir” and “Nightline” and Wednesday, Nov. 26, on “Good Morning America.”
The grand jury decided Monday that it would not indict Wilson for the death of the unarmed teenager. Brown’s death has sparked months of protests, and Monday night’s decision resulted in renewed unrest, with demonstrations nationwide.

Politico’s Dylan Byers first reported Monday night that Stephanopoulos was expected to land the interview. That report arrived after word spread that several other news anchors had met with Wilson in an attempt to secure the coveted interview, including NBC’s Matt Lauer, CBS’ Scott Pelley and CNN’s Anderson Cooper and Don Lemon.

CNN’s Brian Stelter also alerted viewers on Twitter of ABC’s upcoming special broadcast:

Failed Nuclear Talks Are Not Iran's Fault

Nov. 24, the deadline for reaching a comprehensive agreement between Iran and P5+1 — the five permanent members of the United Nations Security Council plus Germany — came and went without the agreement.

What happened? Iran made major concessions. It was excessive demands by the U.S. and its allies that prevented the comprehensive agreement from materializing.

The original Geneva interim agreement expired last July, but both sides agreed to extend the deadline for reaching a comprehensive agreement to Nov. 24. Now, a new deadline of June 30, 2015 has been set. Both sides said that much progress was made, but some difficult issues have remained unresolved.

The agreement would have created an entirely new dynamic for the war-torn Middle East. It would have ushered in a new era of cooperation between two old nemeses, Iran and the United States, to defeat their common enemy, the Islamic State.

Given the historic significance of the agreement, why is it that a breakthrough was not achieved?

Iran’s Major Concessions

Several complex issues that had seemed unresolvable have actually been hammered out, but only because Iran was willing to negotiate with a spirit of compromise, of give and take.

The first concession concerned Iran’s uranium enrichment facility built under a mountain in Fordow, near the holy city of Qom, 90 miles south of Tehran. The West, led by the United States, had demanded that Iran dismantle the facility altogether. The facility is neither suited for military purposes, nor for large-scale industrial use; it was built by Iran either as a bargaining chip, or to preserve its indigenous enrichment technology in case the large Natanz enrichment facility was destroyed by bombing, or both.

Abbas Araghchi, Iran’s deputy foreign minister and a principal negotiator, has emphasized repeatedly and emphatically, “Iran would not agree to close any of its nuclear facility.” Iran has agreed to convert the site to a nuclear research facility, representing a major concession.

A second concession involved the IR-40 heavy water nuclear reactor, under construction in Arak, 155 miles southwest of Tehran. When completed, it will replace Tehran Research Reactor, an almost 50-year-old reactor that produces medical isotopes for close to 1 million Iranian patients every year.

The West had demanded that Iran convert the IR-40 to a light-water reactor, due to the concerns that if the reactor, when it comes online, will produce plutonium that can be used to make nuclear weapons. But, Iran refused to go along because, first and foremost, all the work on the reactor has been done by the Iranian experts and thus the reactor is a source of national pride. Iran has already spent billions of dollars to design and begin constructing the reactor, but the West was not willing to share the cost of the reactor conversion to a light-water one.

On its own initiative, Iran has agreed to modify the design of the reactor so that it will produce much smaller amounts of plutonium. Iran also agreed not to build any reprocessing facility for separating the plutonium from the rest of the nuclear waste. This was again a major concession.

The third major concession by Iran was agreeing to stop enriching uranium at 19.75 percent (commonly referred to as 20 percent in the Western media, although the seemingly minor difference is actually quite important). After the West and the International Atomic Energy Agency refused to supply Iran with fuel for the TRR in 2009, Iran began producing the higher enriched uranium that the TRR uses as its fuel. Tehran agreed to stop producing the fuel, after stockpiling enough fuel for the remaining life of the old TRR. This was the third major concession by Iran.

The fourth major concession made by Iran is related to the issue of inspection of Iran’s nuclear facilities by the IAEA. Although Iran had lived up to its obligations under its original Safeguards Agreement with the agency signed in 1974, the IAEA under its Director-General Yukiya Amano, who has completely politicized the agency that has contributed to the complexities of reaching the comprehensive agreement, has been insisting that Iran implement the provisions of the Additional Protocol of the SG Agreement, which Iran signed in 2003 and, without ratification by its parliament, implemented voluntarily until February 2006.

Iran set aside the Additional Protocol after the European Union reneged on its promises made to Iran in the Sa’dabad Declaration of October 2003 and the Paris Agreement of November 2004. Iran and the IAEA reached an agreement in November 2013, according to which Iran allows much more frequent and intrusive inspection of its nuclear facilities, way beyond its legal obligations under its SG Agreement. Since then, the IAEA has repeatedly confirmed that Iran has lived up to its obligations.

The U.S. Excessive Demands

Three of the remaining issues concern the number of centrifuges that Iran gets to keep over the duration of the agreement, the duration of the comprehensive agreement and the mechanism by which the crippling economic sanctions imposed on Iran by the U.S. and its allies would be lifted.

In fact, agreeing to limit the number of its centrifuges for the duration of the agreement is yet another significant, but unacknowledged, concession by Iran, a signatory of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. Iran’s SG Agreement with the IAEA places no restriction on the number of centrifuges that Iran can have.

The issue of the number of centrifuges, NoC, is also mostly superficial. The efficiency of a uranium enrichment program is not measured by the NoC, rather by the Separative Work Units count, which is essentially the effort (energy, for example) used in separating a certain amount of mass (of, say, uranium 235 and 238) into a product (uranium 235, used as nuclear fuel and for bomb making if enriched to 90 percent or higher) and “waste” and, hence, measures the efficiency of the centrifuges. So, a nation can have a relatively small number of highly efficient centrifuges and still be able to produce large quantities of enriched uranium.

The number and efficiency of the centrifuges are related to the question of the “breakout” time — the time that Iran would need, if it leaves the NPT, expels the IAEA inspectors, and begins a race to produce enough highly enriched uranium to make one crude nuclear weapon. Aside from the fact that even if Iran did leave the NPT and did succeed at all the stages, it would be able to produce only a crude nuclear device, not a nuclear warhead, as there is no evidence that Iran actually possesses the know-how for miniaturizing a nuclear bomb to be carried by its missiles. The breakout time depends on a variety of factors, only one of which is the number of the centrifuges. But, the U.S. insisted that Iran must limit the number of its centrifuges to about 4,500, roughly half of the centrifuges that are currently spinning and producing low-enriched uranium in Iran. That would supposedly give the West about a year if Iran left the NPT and began a race towards a nuclear device or bomb. Iran did not accept the proposal, and presented its own study of the breakout time, indicating that it was at least three years.

The second unresolved issue is the duration of the comprehensive agreement. The U.S. began the negotiations by demanding a 20 year agreement. But, it became abundantly clear that it would be a total political suicide for the administration of Iran’s moderate president, Hassan Rouhani, to accept such a long-term agreement. Tehran’s hardliners would have overthrown his government by parliamentary maneuvering. Iran indicated that a seven-year agreement is acceptable, moving from its original position of 1-3 years, but the U.S. insisted that the duration must be a “double digit” number, meaning at least 10 years.

From Iran’s view, the most important issue is the lifting of the economic sanctions. And, here is an important fact: Even if Iran agrees to the U.S. proposal, the Obama administration will not be able to cancel its crippling economic sanctions against Iran, because Congress will block that. It has promised only gradual suspension of some the sanctions, which does not require congressional consent. In effect, the U.S. wanted Iran to give up its hard won “facts on the ground” in return for gradual suspension of only some of the sanctions. No nation would agree to such one-sided demands, let alone Iran, a nation that has lived with U.S. economic sanctions for over three decades.

At a symposium in Washington on Oct. 23, Wendy Sherman, under secretary of state for policy who leads the U.S. negotiation team with Iran, asserted that, “We hope the leaders in Tehran will agree to the steps necessary to assure the world that this program will be exclusively peaceful. If that does not happen, the responsibility will be seen by all to rest with Iran.”

The U.S., Not Iran, Is to Blame

Given all the concessions that Iran has made, given U.S. excessive demands on Iran, and given the fact that, in effect, the U.S. is trying to impose a new and illegal interpretation of Iran’s obligations under the NPT and its SG Agreement and the meaning of “peaceful nuclear program,” it is the U.S. that must be blamed for the failure of the negotiations, not Iran.

'Mommy, I'm Just Not That Kind of Girl'

When I was a little girl, I really wanted a cap gun. Mark, the boy down the street, had a cap gun and I loved the sound it made and the sulfuric smell it left behind. But my father said that cap guns weren’t for little girls. I felt especially betrayed when my brother, five years younger than me, got a cap gun. By that time I was about 10, and less interested in cap guns, but I still resented that because of my gender, I had been denied this cool toy.

So when I had my own kids, I said I wasn’t going to let gender determine anything. When my oldest, Alexander, wanted to dress up in my shoes, I took them all out and let him have at it. When my daughter, Elisabeth, wanted a beard painted on her face, I painstakingly drew it on, making each hair as realistic as I could with my eyeliners. They were two years apart and played with each other’s toys, and while Alexander gradually drifted towards “boy” toys and Elisabeth drifted towards “girl” toys, it was never due to my influence. I think.

Then, when Alexander was 9 and a half and Elisabeth was 7 and a half, along came Sammy. Sammy was ahead of the curve in so many things. Crawling at 5 months, walking at 9 months, full, clear sentences by 18 months — which is when Sammy invented the game “born.”

Born involved sitting on my lap, announcing loudly, “I’m Sam!” I wish I could do justice to the face he’d make. It was at once mischievous and sweet, with an eyebrow raised and his blue eyes sparkling. Then he’d hide under my shirt for various amounts of time and reemerge with a flourish and announce, “Now I’m Samantha!” He’d clap and we’d clap. We would say, who needs TV when you have a toddler around? But we didn’t consider that this might mean anything about his gender. Sammy was a boy as evidenced by his love of games where everything blew up. Yes, Sammy loved dress-up. Sometimes Sammy dressed up as a cat or a bug, but more often it was Spiderman or Batman — emphasis on the man, right? Well, Sammy also wanted princess dresses and shoes and loved makeup, and Elisabeth spent many happy hours dressing him up in these outfits. It was dress-up, right? We were cool with it. Right?

Then, when Sammy was 7, he told me that he really wanted some girls’ clothes. I assumed this was part of the dress-up phase. But Sammy didn’t want to go to the Disney store — he said he wanted real girls’ clothes. And that he’d wanted them for a long time, but didn’t know how to ask.

First, I signed him up for tae kwon do. I wasn’t sure what this meant for his life, but I figured that if my boy was going to wear girls’ clothes, then he’d better know how to defend himself.

Then we went shopping. He picked out a variety of things that my husband and I decided he could wear at home and when we went out, but not to school. The compromise was that he could wear girl underwear and training bras (really just half T-shirts) to school. He protested a little, but accepted it in the end. Around this time, Sammy was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which has nothing to do with his clothing choices, but is important in the story in the long run.

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At 9, Sammy was put in a self-contained class for kids with behavioral problems. The biggest issue was that this class had no girls. Sammy missed girls, missed looking at what they were wearing. He got more depressed, and soon he was hospitalized for his first suicide attempt. I say first, but really it was his second. The first time he’d tried to throw himself out of our car on the highway. His sister’s quick reflexes saved his life. We didn’t think that it was a suicide attempt, because what does an 8-year-old know from suicide? We were in for an education. Suicide is the sixth leading cause of death for children 5 to 14 years old. Five. Children as young as 5 kill themselves. Who knew?

There would be another hospitalization and numerous outbursts at school resulting in Sammy being suspended pending psychiatric review. After I don’t know how many such suspensions, his psychiatrist refused to let him back. He said Sammy needed a therapeutic school.

While this was going on, Sammy wanted more and more girls’ clothes. He wore jeggings with big T-shirts. It was an androgynous look. My husband and I bought books about transgender kids and went online for support groups for parents of transgender kids, but their stories seemed so different. The boys who said they were girls liked girls’ stuff. Dolls. Toy vacuum cleaners. Barbies. Sammy was not interested in that. He played video games and his avatar was female and named Kitten, but these were boy games. And Sammy really loved kittens. Everyone loves kittens.

Sammy had already told us he liked boys. We live in a very gay-friendly town. Alexander’s best friend was gay, and in every class any of my kids were in, there was always one kid who had two mommies or two daddies. When Obama was running for president, Sammy said he was going to vote for Obama because Obama was cute. Sammy had mentioned early on that he wondered if a boy could get a vagina. This was around the time that the movie Avatar came out. We said yes. He said, I think I might want one… or a tail. A tail would be really cool. So you can understand that we were thinking maybe transgender but… no. Right?

At the therapeutic school we finally found for Sammy, there was a transgender kid, female to male. Sammy was smitten. I don’t know if he was really taken by this kid for who he was, or if it was just that this kid was being who he really was. Still, Sammy didn’t say he was a girl. We said he was gender fluid. Some days he seemed more girly — or sorta girly — and others he seemed all boy. Most days he seemed all boy in girl clothes.

Then he finally told me, fairly recently, that he was transgender. He was she, and would we please start using the right pronoun?

We were floored. It doesn’t make sense that we were floored, but we were. (We are generally pretty smart people…) But we immediately changed pronouns. Or we try to. After 12 and a half years of saying “he” and “my son,” it is hard to switch overnight to “she” and “my daughter.” When I write it out like this, I think, Wow, were we idiots. But Sammy is gentle with us. She corrects us when we use the wrong pronoun or say son rather than daughter. Or boy rather than girl.

So we went shopping again. She wanted to start putting something in her bra, to be like other girls her age. I steered her towards things I like — I am a pretty girly person. She wanted her usual androgynous look — plus breasts. One day we were getting ready to go out somewhere and I tried to put a headband in her hair.

“Maybe if you look a little more like a girl, it’ll be easier for everyone to remember to use the right pronoun,” I said.

She put down the headband and smiled at me. “Mommy,” she said, “I’m just not that kind of girl.”

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She floored me again. My own gender stereotypes had the better of me. For years as a teacher, I’d defended girls’ rights to wear gender non-conforming clothes, but when it came to my own daughter, I was pushing a societal stereotype down her throat. I wanted her to look like what I think a girl looks like. There is an implicit “should” in there which shames me. I have taught composition at various colleges for the last decade and a half, and I’ve always taught Katha Pollitt’s brilliant article, “Why Boys Don’t Play with Dolls.” I’ve said to hundreds of college freshmen that there are no girl toys and no boy toys. I’ve asked them to go to Toys R Us and look at the layout and think about how gender conformity might be hurting children. And here I was, part of the problem with my own child.

Sammy is her own young woman. She knows who she is. She knows what she wants. She is only 12, and we have lots of decisions to make about hormones, etc. — but in the end, we need to follow her lead. Like any woman, she will define who she is. And I couldn’t be more proud. I am sure she has much more to teach us.

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Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

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Lebanon Needs a President

Lebanon is a dissected country. Religious and ideological divides long ago metastasized into politics and territory. The country has been trudging forward now for six months without a president because the Parliament cannot agree on a candidate. The lack of a central authority in the country means that there is no way to reel in the diverging factions. As more dust collects in the presidential palace, the more power that the Shia paramilitary group Hezbollah is able to consolidate. While the international community’s increase in pressure over recent weeks is welcomed, rhetoric alone won’t stop Hezbollah from riding out the crisis for as long as it can. The West must continue to support Lebanon’s anti-Hezbollah coalition in Lebanon and pressure all parties to accept a consensus candidate for president, a move that will weaken Hezbollah and strengthen allies of democracy around the region.

Lebanon’s Parliamentary gridlock, which makes the US Senate look like a fast-moving highway, has paralyzed state institutions, created a massive backlog of administrative affairs, and keeps the country perpetually divided at a time when endless hell stalks their eastern border. The sad truth is that only Hezbollah stands to gain from the continuing presidential crisis. By intentionally keeping the Lebanese Armed Forces (LAF) weak, they ensure their monopoly of force in the south. It also provides a pretext for armaments; the pitch is that if the government is weak, Hezbollah will be there to protect the people. Last week, they went so far as to announce the opening of their ranks to non-Shia Lebanese to serve in a new home front battalion in the Bekaa valley- a job expressly denoted to the LAF.

The strategies of Western countries have been unsuccessful until now in trying to tip the power balance in the LAF’s favor. France signed a massive $3 billion arms deal with the Lebanese government to be financed by Saudi Arabia. Since then, Lebanon still hasn’t received shipments of any weapons because of delays in the transfer. While the French government insists that the delays were caused by logistical complications, rumors indicate France’s hesitance of transferring weapons stems from the looming presidential crisis and overall instability in Lebanon. Aware of this, Hezbollah is trying to torpedo Lebanon’s only hope of gaining serious military edge over neighboring militant groups ISIS and Al Nusra, so it can continue to be the dominate protectorate of the country.

The anti-Hezbollah coalition in the Lebanese parliament, succinctly named the March 14th Movement, is predominantly Sunni and serves as the democratic counterweight to Hezbollah’s majority coalition. Since the crisis began they have made many honest attempts to bridge the gap between the two embattled groups. The leader of March 14th, Saad Hariri, recently released a policy statement of willingness for unconditional dialogue with Hezbollah. They went so far as to condone last month’s military crackdown in Tripoli where scores of Sunnis were arrested or killed.
The condemnation was praised by Hassan Nasrallah, Hezbollah’s leader, but never reciprocated. Just a few days ago, Lebanon’s fifteenth attempt to elect a President failed to reach quorum because the parliament members representing Hezbollah boycotted the plenary session. The anti-Hezbollah coalition cannot be bullied into accepting Hezbollah’s terms and there are two ways March 14th, with the help of the International community can stop it:

Firstly, as an act of good faith to the West, Beirut should take steps to help moderate anti-Assad forces wherever it can. Allowing refuge, travel, and intelligence to those against Assad would bolster Lebanon’s allies’ interests and alienate Hezbollah. For example, last weeks release of Abdallah Rifai, a high-ranking Free Syrian Army (FSA) officer recently captured by the LAF served as a dual message to observers: showing the world Beirut is both committed to protecting Western and Saudi interests in the region as well as that they are willing to support Hezbollah’s competitors in Syria. To that end, arms deals with France and other benefactors must be acted upon. However, it’s important that mechanisms are set up to ensure that these weapons don’t wind up in Hezbollah’s stockpiles. The aid these countries give should be more focused on training, and medium and heavy arms versus light weapons. Things like anti-tank missiles and small arms, while important, can easily fall into enemy hands and end up being used on Western allies like the FSA or Israel. Heavy weapons like Land Rovers, helicopters, and planes are far more likely to stay in LAF coffers. Secondly, the Western world must put pressure on Iran, Hezbollah’s patron, to push the group into a compromise. This could be done in a variety of ways but would be most effective as part of larger framework in the continuing negotiations between the West and Tehran over their nuclear ambitions.

By forcing Hezbollah into accepting a consensus candidate dictated by the March 14th Movement, like current LAF Chief Jean Kahwaji, the rifts developing in the country over the past 6 months can finally begin healing. Lebanon needs the stability and depolarization that only a consensus president can bring.

Let's Give Our Kids More Credit

What if she is sad? What if she is confused?

While I was in an inpatient psychiatric facility for my depression, my daughter was under the belief that, “Mommy is away for work.” At the time, I was extremely concerned with the effect my absence would have on her psyche. I would speak to her every morning and every evening and make sure she knew how much I was thinking of her and how much I love her. My husband would repeatedly tell me she was doing well and even though she missed me, she was entrenched in her own life at preschool with her friends.

The day I was admitted to the hospital, my husband and I set up “operation support.” We called our families and enlisted my parents’ and mother-in-law’s presence to help with childcare (keep our daughter occupied and spoiled a bit while mommy was away) and to be present for me. We contacted friends, locally and from afar, in order to gather emotional support. This extended to physical support, too, with playdates for our daughter with her friends. My goal while in the hospital was to focus on myself and in order to do that, I needed to feel that my family at home was sustained.

I’m a planner, and planning my own psychiatric hospitalization may sound ridiculous, but it is emblematic of how I live my life. As a mom, I was overly concerned with how my absence could possibly damage my child. I am Mommy, and no one else can take my place. How would she react to missing our morning hugs? Would she be upset at not being able to have our nightly cuddle after bath? How would she go to bed every night without hearing me sing the two songs I sing to her nightly? These were my concerns and I felt they were valid.

The truth is her resilience is greater than I ever gave her credit for. This little being, whom I helped to create, is her own person with her own strengths and weaknesses. Although there were moments when she would verbalize missing me, she was much too caught up in her own world of friends, coloring, books and playing to be constantly thinking of me. Even though I was thinking of her each moment during those very long days in the hospital, she was occupied with her life. Now, part of why I was convinced she would fall apart without me was due to my own fractured mind’s understanding of my world. If my cognition were not impaired, I would have recognized that my husband and I have been raising our daughter to be strong, to ask for help when needed and that when you love someone, you carry that with you all of the time, whether you are with that person or apart. She had already incorporated me into her heart and was therefore able to be apart from me without suffering. What an amazing thing! She had proven herself capable by being able to separate from me at preschool drop-off every day, but she exceeded my hopes while I was in the hospital.

She taught me something very important at an extremely difficult time in my life. While she is very dependent on me at this young age, she is also an individual, with her own gifts and flaws, who is already able to manage in her daily world with incredible strength. I must give credit where credit is due.

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Lenovo YOGA 3 Pro Review

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