The End of the Innocence: A Letter to Dr. William Henry Cosby

Dear Dr. Cosby,

I grew up in the 1970s and 1980s and am one of your children. Of course, not one of your biological children, but rather one of the millions of kids who were Black, Brown, urban, middle class or any number of diverse upbringings who were deeply influenced by your shows and your comedy. You influenced our lives in profound ways. Hell, I read your book Fatherhood decades before I ever became a father. You were the blueprint for so many of us who grew without a father, either in the home, in the picture or anywhere on the horizon. It is with this profound respect that I am now writing you to ask that you come out and speak. You words have influenced so many, inspired so many, it is only through your voice that the truth can come to light.

I have avoided reading or watching much of the coverage of the allegations of which you are accused, not because of any moral high ground, but because I did not know, do not know what to believe. I do know one thing Dr. Cosby, the sheer number of women, the length of time the allegations have taken place, and your continued silence, speaks volumes. Rather than continue disrespecting the women who have stepped forward, rather than continuing to discredit them through your attorney and your silence, speak.

Your words and storytelling are grounded in the deep African tradition of storytelling and truth telling. Now, more than ever, we need that truth.

As I said, I am one of your children. I cried when your biological son Enis was killed just miles from where I went to college, and from where I would eventually live when I returned to Los Angeles in 2003, where I became a classroom teacher. My incessant channel surfing always stopped whenever I came across The Cosby Show, A Different World, and especially The Fat Albert Show. I never tired of watching those shows because as a 20 year old in the ’90s I learned something, and even now in my 40s I still learned and gleaned lessons from your wisdom.

As a graduate student at Temple University in the 2000s, I relished the “Fireside Chats” that took place the first few years I was in the College of Education. Even though the majority of the conversation was focused towards pre-service teachers, I was always eager to sit at the foot of the story teller and truth teller who made education and teaching plain to everyone in the audience, even those who had already earned their degrees. I sat silently when Dr. Michael Eric Dyson and others derided you for “blaming the victim” in your speeches condemning much of the Black community. I sat silently when people said you were a “sell-out” for airing dirty laundry about some of the unspoken “truths” which exist in urban areas. I sat silently when your book Come On People was applauded by the wrong people, those outside of our community who said, look even Cosby is agreeing with the notion of Black pathology — even though I did not think, and do not think that was an accurate portrayal of your words.

Dr. Cosby, dad, I can no longer sit silently.

As a father of a three-year-old son, I am fortunate to not have to explain the current situation to him. I can shield him from whenever I am watching the Melissa Harris-Perry Show on MSNBC which on Sunday laid out the details, as much as possible, in a poignant way, in such a way that I was forced to wipe a tear from my eye. That tear was there not just because of the accusations, but because I felt deeply disturbed concerning the women who were telling their story. I have fought against silencing and, even though I still do not know what to believe, I do believe their stories have merit and validity. That tear was also there, in part, because this situation has signaled, quite loudly to us in Generation X, that it is no longer 1984, The Cosby Show is no longer number one, and “America’s Dad” is no longer infallible. In other words, this is one of those defining moments in one’s life when (s)he truly knows they are grown-up.

I do not lament being older. There are a host of things which are far more easily accomplished as a 40something as opposed to a 20something. Some people take me more seriously, I have the advantage of experience, and of course, I have my son. To many, all of these things represent being “grown-up.” What is so… what is so sadly ironic about your situation Dr. Cosby is that even now, again, you are teaching us. This time you are teaching us that there is no such thing as innocence, and that television is just entertainment. Perhaps that lesson, even though we have conceptually known this for decades, is the hardest one to reconcile.

In closing, please, just one more time, show us what it means to be a grown-up, a man, a father, and for many of us, the strong Black man we held you up to be. Please Dr. Cosby, your children are crying. Most importantly, the women who have accused you are crying. We all need you to be the truth-teller one more time.

Sincerely, your “son”…

Stuart

University Of California Students Protest Tuition Hikes With Massive Campus Walkout

University of California students participated in a statewide campus walkout Monday as part of their ongoing protests against a significant tuition hike.

The movement is anchored at UC Berkeley, where hundreds of students have occupied the campus’s Wheeler Hall since a committee of the UC Board of Regents voted Wednesday to raise tuition 5 percent per year for five years, bumping next year’s in-state student base costs from $12,192 to $12,804 and ultimately to $15,564 in 2019 — not including additional fees, books, and room and board.

UC Berkeley senior Sofie Karasek estimated that at least 300 students were part of the walkout at her campus by 12:30 p.m. Information about participation rates at the other campuses was not immediately available. Protesters live-tweeting the walkout estimated participation rose to at least 1,000.

As the walkout progressed at UC Berkeley, students at other campuses, including UC San Diego and UC Irvine, began occupations of their own, according to tweets shared by students.

The cost hike is contingent on state funding increases, a caveat that vocal opponent Gov. Jerry Brown (D) has said is tantamount to taking hostages.

“Essentially it’s a debate between Governor Brown and UC president Janet Napolitano over how the UC is going to be funded, and students are really pushing back against it,” Karasek told The Huffington Post. “We’re not going to be the bargaining chip.”

9 of the Grossest Pregnancy Secrets No One Talks About

Before you ACTUALLY were pregnant… did you look forward to getting pregnant? Being told that you glow? Did you buy into this vision that being pregnant would make you an angelic round lump of contented domesticity with a perfect bun in the oven and out of it?

I hope that, by now, you agree with me that we’ve all figured out this is a bunch of bull.

I posed a simple question to the ladies that make up the BLUNTmoms writer group: what happened that you weren’t expecting? What followed was a giant Facebook thread (vomited out in a huge rush of pent-up rage) of every gross, unbelievable, obnoxious symptom and weird thing that nobody told us can happen during pregnancy, labor, and even afterwards (there’s almost enough stuff here to write a book).

Why did no one tell us this? One can only presume that people tried to keep us in the dark because if we knew what we were in for, we’d never have let a guy within half a mile of our hoo-has. Humanity itself might have gone extinct. Once we do this thing, however, we discover that miracle-making has some dirty little secrets, but this is real life, and it’s awesome… even when it’s not (obviously so, because a lot of us get back in line to do it all over again in spite of being forewarned).

Motherhood is a joy, but it sometimes comes covered in snot, bucket sweat, and poop. It also comes with lots of groping from strangers, in case that floats your boat.

There was only one thing to do about it: we had to organize the list of “What Weren’t You Told To Expect When You’re Expecting” and ask the rest of you… are we wrong? And more importantly — did we miss any of your personal “favorites”?

1. The Worst, Most Painful Acne You’ve Ever Experienced
Your teenage years have nothing on the cystic acne that might develop. On your neck. Behind your ears. All over your chin. Even on your back and chest. It’s that, or you’ll have fabulous skin your entire pregnancy only to blister up like you jammed your head in a beehive immediately after giving birth. What the heck, hormones? Cut a girl a break.

2. Your Nose Is Your Enemy
Nosebleeds? Yup. Constant running nose? Check. Buy stock in Kleenex? No? Better get stock trading, girlfriend. Also — you might just discover that your nose has become super-powered. You’ll be able to identify what others ate for lunch in the smell of their urine, which may cause marital strife when you realize your hubby’s been sneaking the good stuff you’ve sworn to abstain from. You will also be convinced you stink. You might have to ban certain types of foods for the duration of your entire pregnancy, because these foods smell like crap. Literally. No there will be no rhyme or reason. It might be chicken. It might be cooked broccoli.

3. All-F***ing-Day Sickness
Sometimes it ends. Sometimes you will vomit your entire way through pregnancy to the delivery room. Sometimes you might even find yourself hospitalized for dehydration because of it. Cupcakes, I wish I could tell you that it’s extremely rare that morning sickness lingers. It’s not.

4. Your Body Flakes Out
Inexplicable, random numbness; painful sciatica; backaches; headaches; killer heartburn — the kind that makes you convinced you have your kid’s hair crawling up your throat; stabbing pains in your groin; feeling like you’ve got a cannonball sitting on your perineum; constant Charlie horses in the soles of your feet; passing out every time you have a warm shower… All this and more can be yours. Find a chiropractor. And one of those old-person shower stools.

5. Your Mouth Becomes Devious
You don’t snore? Now you do. You will snore so loudly sometimes that you’ll even wake yourself up, likely with an open mouth and drool soaking your hair and pillow. Speaking of drool, you might drool everywhere at all times. You could spray drool when you eat and salivate like a rabid dog. Also, everything tastes wrong. Weird. Sometimes like metal.

6) You Become a Sweaty, Hairy She-Beast
Your body responds to hormones like you’ve become Teen-Wolf. You will sweat at all times, and you will probably leave a body-shaped sweat-stain on your mattress by the 40th week. Your nipples become dark, weird pebbly things. You will sprout hair. Randomly. Everywhere. Pubes will begin to traverse down your thighs and even come out of your nipples. Even from out of the sides of your nose? What??

7. Mom-nesia and Other General Dementia
You will cry over commercials. You will cause international incidents over what time McDonald’s opens. You will become convinced everyone is stupid. You will spend months with irrational anger and just wanting to punch people in the face. You will become stupid and suddenly be unable to spell your name or complete a sentence. You’ll forget where you’re going, open the fridge door and forget what you opened it for, lose your car keys 12 times a day. You will become paranoid and be convinced that the baby will suffocate and die if you sleep on your back. Or develop ADHD if you drink half a cup of tea.

8. Going to the Bathroom is Your Worst Nightmare
You will have to pee every time you stand up (also sit, twist, shift, or answer the phone), and also possibly every 15 minutes. You could leak pee even when you don’t mean to. And let’s not talk about pooping… because of those prenatal vitamins, you will be so constipated you’ll convince yourself you are dying. Every bathroom trip is like its own little mini-delivery preparatory scenario, complete with bucket-sweat, grunting, and pushing. Hemorrhoids may develop. They will itch and bleed. You may even find yourself discreetly “tucking your anus back in” every bathroom break by the time you take your last prenatal vitamin pill.

9. Farting Becomes a Free-for-All
Forget it, princesses. By about month 5 or 6, you begin your glorious physical transcendence into a gaseous, waddling rhino. You will fart. You will be accompanied by a melodious trumpeting symphony whenever you walk. Your hubby will Google those carbon-lined toot-diapers to protect himself from the massive collateral damage caused by your booty-bombs. You will have gas pains so bad you might think you’re having false labor or placental abruptions. You will have to sneak away from polite company to find a closet to hide in while you try to rearrange your innards enough to eke out a few squeakers. At least, because of the prenatal vitamins, sharting isn’t a problem. Buuuuut… cause you always gotta go, they will smell worse than usual.

Don’t we have an interesting mix of pregnancy experiences? Now how about you? Shout it out: which of these things did you endure? Anything we missed?

This article was originally posted over at BLUNTmoms.com.

Also on HuffPost:

5 Lessons Learned Couchsurfing in Amsterdam

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Couchsurfing has always been on my travel bucket list.

If you’re not familiar with couchsurfing, it’s a genius way to connect travelers with a country’s local residents. You get to eat how they eat and live how they live in a more intimate setting minus the high price you would pay to get on an overcrowded double-decker tour bus swarming with tourists and their fancy cameras. Not that there’s anything wrong with doing touristy stuff! But sometimes, it’s good to experience things differently and without all the guidebooks and maps. With couchsurfing however, local residents or hosts of the couchsurfing community open up their homes to surfers, free of charge, making you feel like a true insider and also allowing the opportunity for a genuine cultural exchange.

From the very first evening my friend and I met our hosts in Amsterdam — two young professional gentleman from Turkey — it seemed as if we had all been friends forever. We spent hours sitting around the table talking about our love for travel, all of the places we have been and all of the places we will venture to next. We listened to music, switching from R&B to Turkish music and fist-pumped our way through a fun-filled night at a local bar. We shared several meals together — alternating between them preparing food for us and us preparing food for them. On our last night in Amsterdam, we took an evening stroll to a local restaurant and enjoyed burgers and beer right before sprinting to the Metro station just in time for me to catch the last bus to Paris. Running through Amsterdam on a full stomach while watching my hosts sprinting ahead of me and holding my luggage above their head is a memory I won’t ever forget.

Looking back on my amazing experience with my new friends, there are five things my couchsurfing experience in Amsterdam has taught me that can possibly help you if you are daring to test the waters to hang ten on strange couches:

1. There are way more people who want to help you than hurt you.
Initially, the entire couchsurfing idea did freak me out. Staying in someone’s home that you meet over the Internet sparks a whole list of misgivings. What if they aren’t friendly? What if they try to steal my things? What if they try to harm me? Practicing a certain level of caution when choosing to experience couchsurfing is always a must and deciding who to stay with should always be based on your gut instinct. Carefully reading through a hosts’ profile also makes the selection process easier because you are able to get a feel for their personality and see if there are similar interests. Nine times out of ten though, the person is harmless and just as eager to meet you, as you are to meet them!

2. Be more trusting anyway.
Regardless of if I’m traveling through Europe or hanging out in my hometown, couchsurfing taught me to relax a little and not have so many reservations about every single person I meet. Building up walls doesn’t allow you to experience all of the great things that are out there waiting on you to soak up if you’re always on amber alert about every human who may not look like you, sound like you or have the same beliefs as you. Everyone is so unique and learning to embrace those differences, even if the person initially seems a little mysterious can turn out to be what you least expected. As long as you are in safe surroundings, take the time to get to know them and listen to their story. It may not be too different from your own.

3. You don’t need much to survive.
Sleeping on my hosts’ couch and sharing their apartment with four other people made me realize that although I love having my own space in my apartment, I technically don’t need it to live a comfortable and happy life. Oxygen, food and water are our biggest life essentials. A king-sized bed with satin sheets and room service on the other hand is not a life essential.

4. Leave expectations at the door and go with the flow.
Having high expectations can be so taxing, especially when it comes to staying with a stranger. I’m big on cleanliness so I was really nervous about what our hosts’ bathroom would look like. Would the shower have the Mr. Clean sparkle? Would the sink be toothpaste and hair free? Since we ended up staying with men, we didn’t have to worry about the hair part and their bathroom was super nice by the way! But in the grand scheme of things, do all of my “non-negotiables” even matter? Am I really going to Amsterdam to hang out in a bathroom all day anyway? When it comes to traveling and experiencing new cultures, new people and a different way of life, it’s best to just let the small nitpicky things go.

5. We’re different, but we’re not that different.
No matter where you go or who you meet, the majority of us just want to live happy lives surrounded by good people and we all recognize that a smile is the universal language of kindness. So that’s always a good place to start. Our cultures may be different, we may eat different foods, and we each may define happiness differently but ultimately, we are all on a journey in search of something.

This post originally appeared on Jaimee’s blog, This Way North.

Photo Credit: WhatJaiSees

Espresso finally arrives on the ISS

10648398_915239705171298_4301958719109645866_oESA astronaut Samantha Cristoferetti has made it to the International Space Station along with the rest of Expedition 42, but it may be the Italian’s luggage that prompts the most excitement on the orbiting research platform. Among the equipment being brought up to the ISS is a special espresso machine, the first designed to work in zero-gravity, dubbed ISSpresso: handiwork … Continue reading

Apple job listing suggests VR platform on the horizon

Virtual Reality is a big deal, at least for early adopters willing to strap a piece of cardboard or plastic to their face and split the screen on a smartphone or tablet. That’s not for everyone, but Apple might make it a bit more approachable for the masses. A new job posting suggests Apple is looking for someone adept in … Continue reading

Apple Gets Serious About Virtual Reality With a New Job Posting

Apple Gets Serious About Virtual Reality With a New Job Posting

It’s not exactly a secret that Apple is interested in augmented and virtual reality, as ambitious patent filings like the one above from last year would show. But where patent ideas are much more likely to die on the vine than anything else, a new Apple job listing provides more solid evidence of the company’s VR ambitions.

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The Dumbest Things You Can Order From SkyMall

The Dumbest Things You Can Order From SkyMall

Thanksgiving is the busiest time of year for U.S. air travel, which means it’s the busiest time of year for people who forgot to put their Kindle charger in their carry-on to idly thumb through the best worst in-flight catalog of all time, SkyMall, while ignoring the emergency safety demonstration.

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Sip a Cosmopolitan From the Cosmos With These Planetary Glasses

Sip a Cosmopolitan From the Cosmos With These Planetary Glasses

Remember those scientifically-stylish Planetary Plates from earlier this year? Well if you’ve been dismayed at the lack of matching glassware, ThinkGeek has just made sure your holiday place settings will be extra perfect with this ten-piece set of beautifully-detailed planetary tumblers.

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This Watercolor Bot Will Make a Painter Out of Anyone 

This Watercolor Bot Will Make a Painter Out of Anyone 

Not all of us are, alas, artistically inclined. Luckily, we now have robots to help. WaterColorBot 2.0 connects right with your computer, turning images on the screen into a bot-painted watercolor on paper.

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