Hasta La Gadget!

By Terri Trespicio

We’ve all fantasized about the photo frame family — the stock shot of the happy, healthy, generic family that comes with the frame, and whom you know would never go on and on about their quirky digestive tracts or ask, “So, you still with that guy?” During November and December, that calm, cardigan-ed family would be your easy company.

The truth is, no one has that family (not even them). Instead, you have your own unique tangle of relatives and close friends, many of whom you love dearly. And some of whom push your buttons so hard they make you crazy — annoyed, resentful, hurt, outraged, depressed, and mad for chocolate, eggnog, television, or anything else to take the edge of being around them off.

You can’t change the people who make you crazy. (I know you’ve tried, with ill effects.) But what you can do is change how you relate to your sore-spot relatives to make your buttons push-proof.

For example, maybe it drives you nuts when your sister starts a side conversation whenever you have everyone’s attention. Maybe you want to smash a plate when your aunt holds loudly forth with her vitriolic, inconsistent political opinions. In those moments you probably can’t rewrite your relationship with your sister or rewire your aunt’s brain. You need a strategy to change how you think about them so that your stress doesn’t drag you down.

Here are three push-proof strategies to try.

Strategy #1: Make Yourself Laugh
One of our favorite ways of dealing with button-pushing relative or friend comes, of all places, from the Harry Potter books. To defend against a creature that takes on the form of a person’s greatest fear, the students must picture it in the most ridiculous situation possible. The students in the book have the benefit of a magic wand and a spell, but the power here is truly in your mind.

When the belligerent aunt starts in on politics, pay close attention to her. Become aware of her gestures, her clothes, the shape of her face, the color of her eyes. Really try to see her as is she in that moment, not how she’s been at every other holiday event or how she makes you feel.

Now picture her looking absolutely absurd. In your imagination, put a hat with a big purple bird on her head. Put her in a football helmet and shoulder pads. Imagine a chorus of scantily clad dancers behind her doing a kick line. The point here isn’t to disrespect your relative — this is only happening in your mind — but to interrupt the flood of negative thoughts and feelings this relative typically triggers in you. When she consciously or unconsciously tries to get a rise out of you, your buttons will be giggling away.

Strategy #2: Make time for a one-on-one
Sometimes it’s best to go the practical route. If you know a relative or friend pushes your buttons, talk to him or her before you’re in the heat of a bad moment. You may, in fact, be practicing the flawed art of mind reading, in that you believe that you know what someone else is thinking right now, and often you expect the very worst. It’s like you’re pushing the button for the other person.

Say you assume your sister is trying to undermine you with her side conversations. She might be, but you can’t know for sure, and the problem with an untested judgment is that when you believe it, you react to it and create tension where none need be. Make yourself a promise that before you jump to conclusions, about anything, you’ll ask the questions. Invite the conversation. Be honest about your concerns and ask for what you need, rather than assume everyone is against you.

(Read more on putting an end to the mind reading habit.)

Another practical approach is to let the predictable button-pushers slide. Do you need to insist that your father help your mother with the dishes, even though he hasn’t washed a plate in 20 years? Maybe not. Sometimes planning for what you will let go of is the most peaceful thing to do.

Strategy #3: Swap out the lens
Your goal is to shift how you perceive and react to a button-pushing person. To do that, you need to replace the negative-seeking lens through which you view this person for a positive one. Make a list of all the things you appreciate and admire about this person. (If that’s a stretch, go for two or three things.) What are his or her shining qualities? What makes you grateful for him or her? What was a time in the past when this person was loving, or kind, or brave, or funny?

You may want to give your list to your relative. Or you may want to keep it in your pocket and read it in the thick of the holiday dinner. Either way, as you create and revisit this appreciation, your brain gets a break from the constant reinforcement of negative thoughts and beliefs, both about the person and yourself. You open up room for a new relationship to her or her, even if it’s only in your mind. He or she may not be someone you want to spend any more time with, and that’s fine. Your list exists to make some peace for yourself.

(Four more ways to stay sane this holiday season.)

And isn’t that what you really want? To have the emotional and mental capacity to enjoy some time with the kooks and heroes and ordinary folks who make up your family, whether given or chosen? If that’s not the holiday spirit, we don’t know what is.

Terri Trespicio is the editor-in-chief of meQuilibrium

By Angela Haupt for U.S. News

The pilgrims — or the cavemen? On Thanksgiving, paleo dieters honor both. That means a holiday feast revolving around meat, fish, poultry, fruits and veggies — with no refined sugar, dairy, legumes or grains. While that’s problematic for Thanksgiving staples like bread stuffing, a few tweaks can save the turkey-filled day. “Almost any traditional Thanksgiving dish can be modified to become paleo,” says registered nurse Katy Haldiman, health director of the Paleo Movement Magazine. Here are menu ideas for your paleo Thanksgiving.

Appetizers
Haldiman ticks off protein-heavy appetizer ideas: deviled eggs that feature avocado instead of mayo. Chopped veggies with spinach artichoke dip — made dairy-free with cashews “to create a creamy, cheese-like texture.” Or the ever-popular bacon-wrapped dates with almonds, which call for only three ingredients and are touted as sure-thing crowd-pleasers. “There’s nothing quite like the saltiness of bacon with the sweetness of dates and the added bonus of the almond crunch,” Haldiman says. Other ideas include fig tapenade, smoked bacon oysters or a beet and carrot salad.

The Main Event
Keep the turkey on the table — it requires few modifications. Most turkey preparation techniques are naturally paleo, Haldiman says. “I like to brine mine with an apple cider mixture for 12 to 24 hours prior to cooking, and then I use an herb butter mixture under the skin and baste the turkey with butter as it cooks,” she continues. “I stuff the bird with apples and onions and place some carrots and celery around the turkey, mostly for flavoring.” If you’re not into butter, substitute duck fat instead — it’s full of healthy monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fatty acids.

Why Stop With The Bird?
Get creative and try a Thanksgiving roast beef or lamb, says Chris Hiestand, co-founder of PrimalPal.net. “Whatever you do, make sure to keep the drippings to make an awesome, paleo gravy,” he adds. Meanwhile, paleo expert Mark Sisson — who blogs at Mark’s Daily Apple — suggests serving roast goose, Cornish game hens with egg and sausage stuffing, prime rib or fresh ham with a holiday spice rub.

Stuffing
Here’s where things get tricky. There are paleo stuffing recipes that use “paleo” breads, but Haldiman recommends trying one that doesn’t use a bread substitute. “Once you realize how little flavor the bread adds to stuffing, you won’t miss it,” she says. “I’ve experimented with many grain-free stuffing recipes, and one of my favorite features ground pork, mushrooms, green peppers, apples and cranberries.” Other options include breadless cauliflower and mushroom stuffing or bread-free fruit and nut stuffing.

And What About The Mashed Potatoes?
Sub cauliflower, parsnips, butternut squash or broccoli and carrots in for the spuds. “The first time I put this on my Thanksgiving table, no one noticed they weren’t potatoes,” Haldiman says of a veggie mash. “Adding herbs and butter to the mashed cauliflower adds tons of flavor and a rich creaminess.” Since traditional gravy is thickened with a white-flour roux, Sisson recommends herb gravy, which is made with ingredients such as chicken stock, onions, garlic and thyme.

Other Sides
Thanksgiving is an ideal time to take advantage of root veggies, such as turnips, rutabaga, radishes, onions, green onions and carrots. Try cider-glazed roots with cinnamon walnuts, roasted beets and pistachio butter or bourbon and honey-glazed carrots. You can also dig into vegan green bean casserole or bacon Brussels sprouts with brown butter vinaigrette.

Dessert
Registered dietitian Kelly O’Connell Schmidt of Paleo Infused Nutrition, who never says no to dark chocolate, also speaks highly of moo-less mousse — made with ingredients such as avocado, cacao powder, maple syrup and coconut milk. Haldiman, meanwhile, puts in a good word for “warm, comforting” ginger snaps, which she makes using arrowroot flour, blackstrap molasses and fresh ginger. She also likes cherry crisp, touting a recipe that uses almond flour for the crisp.

“There are plenty of ways to ‘paleofy’ pumpkin pie by using crust recipes that call for almond, coconut or other grain-free flours,” Haldiman says. “If you use real pumpkin and add your own spices, your pumpkin pie will be a much healthier version than those you purchase off the shelves.” If you’re not sure how to get started, check out this video demo, which highlights a recipe that creates crust out of hazelnuts, pecans, organic grass-fed butter and sea salt.

And Remember, Paleo Stress Doesn’t Belong At Your Table
“We’d rather take the approach of being on point with your paleo diet 90 percent of the time and using that last 10 percent to give yourself some flexibility during the holidays,” Hiestand says. “It’s a time to have fun and be with your family. If you’re able to cut out grain-based foods and desserts and keep your sugar intake to a minimum, you’ll be a paleo champ during Thanksgiving.”

More from U.S. News:
New to the Paleo Diet? Here’s What You Need to Know
U.S. News’s Best Diets Overall
How to Know if You’re Exercising Too Much

NICOSIA, Cyprus (AP) — An official says 228 migrants, apparently refugees from Syria, have been rescued after their damaged ship drifted for hours in rough seas off Cyprus’ northern coast.

Hasan Tacoy, transport minister of the Turkish Cypriot breakaway state in Cyprus’ north, told The Associated Press on Sunday that the migrants, including 25 children, have received medical check-ups and are now housed in a sports hall in the coastal town of Girne. Tacoy said authorities received a distress call from the Tanzanian-flagged cargo ship Haj Zaher late Saturday, about 10 kilometers (6.2 miles) off the coast.

But strong winds and rough seas prevented coast guard vessels from approaching the ship. Another vessel then managed to tow the cargo ship into Girne port after it drifted close to shore.

Aerial drone videos, for better or worse, are here to stay, but it’s difficult to be too upset about this filming technique’s unchecked adoption when it captures video like this. Dutch filmmakers Jelte Keur and Reinout van Schie filmed the tallest church in the Netherlands, and the results are breathtaking.

Read more…

Taking a long-distance train is not the fastest mode of transportation, but it’s certainly much more relaxing than being crammed into flying metal tube with 150 of your closest friends. As long as you’re not in a hurry, it’s a great way to unplug, de-stress and maybe even meet some new friends. It’s something everyone should experience, because there are few better ways to experience the country.

1. The Ever-Changing Scenery Is Unbeatable

The desert of Eastern Utah is seen from the rear of Amtrak’s California Zephyr<em.

Sure, your Instagrams of airplane wings at sunset are pretty, but can you really appreciate the scenery below while traveling at 35,000 feet and 600 mph? There’s no such thing as flyover country when you take the train. Our nation’s geography is as gorgeous as it is diverse and there’s no better way to experience it than by long distance train.

Start your day in the Great Plains. Eat lunch in the Rockies. Watch the sunset over the snow-covered Utah desert with Arches National Park in the distance. That’s just another day aboard Amtrak’s westbound California Zephyr, a daily train between Chicago and the San Francisco Bay Area.

For breathtaking views of the Pacific Ocean, don’t miss the Coast Starlight between Los Angeles and Seattle. Sit on the left going north and on the right going south.

Amtrak’s oft-delayed Empire Builder takes you through stunning Glacier National Park in daylight all year going eastbound and in the summer going westbound.

2. The Passengers

The Pacific Parlour Car of Amtrak’s Coast Starlight.

Most people on long distance trains are not in a hurry. For some passengers, they’d fly if they were. For others who live in more rural communities, the train might be one of the only options for them to get around, so they generally know what to expect.

This leads to a great environment on board. Most people are friendly and chatty, and you meet tons of interesting people on board, ranging from college professors to North Dakota oil workers. People tend to be focused on the present — their fellow passengers, the onboard environment and the scenery — as opposed to their destinations.

3. The Staff

A sleeping car attendant greets passengers boarding Amtrak’s California Zephyr in Fraser/Winter Park, Colorado.

Most of the staff of Amtrak’s long distance trains treat you like family. On Western trains that are 3-day, 2-night trips, you end up spending a lot of time with your train attendant (whether you’re in the sleeping car or coach) as well as the staff of the dining car. You learn about them, their families, their job and the railroad. Most of these crewmembers are individuals who exemplify good customer service. Don’t forget to tip them!

4. The Food

People eat breakfast in the dining car of Amtrak’s Sunset Limited while the sun rises out the window.

Yes, you read that right: The food. These trains have dining cars, which function exactly like a restaurant on rails. A lot of the entrées are prepared fresh on board, and they are actually pretty good. The Amtrak Signature Steak, cooked to order, is a passenger favorite. Vegetarian and lighter fare are also available.

The dining car is open for three meals a day, which are included in your fare if you are staying in a sleeping car. Reservations are always required for dinner, sometimes required for lunch and never required for breakfast.

Snacks and more inexpensive options are also available in the train’s café area, which sells alcoholic beverages in addition to the dining car.

5. The Sleeping Car

A roomette aboard Amtrak’s Capitol Limited.

There are few experience like lying in bed with a train gently rocking you to sleep. For a few hundred dollars extra, depending on the route, this highly recommended experience can be yours. By day, your accommodation is a private room with wide seats or even a couch. By night, your sleeper attendant will transform the seats it into a bed. A bunk also will fold down for an additional bed. You’ll drift off to a deep sleep in no time if you travel this way.

Another perk of being in a sleeping car is the showers. Some passengers have access to a private shower in their own rooms, while others can use a communal one. Regardless of which one you use, taking a shower on a moving train is quite a fun experience.

6. It’s A Great Way To Unplug

WiFi is generally not available on these trains. Cell service is often spotty.

And guess what? That’s not a bad thing. Taking the train is one of the best ways to unplug and just watch the country pass by. You can finish books, write manuscripts and take lots and lots of pictures. None of these require calling, texting, chatting or emailing. And that’s a good thing.

The author has traveled nearly 10,000 miles aboard Amtrak’s long-distance trains.