Hasta La Gadget!

What can be better than receiving a Wizard’s gift? Buying a “Wizard of Oz” original costume.

Major speculation ahead, but a Star Wars fansite is claiming that this GIF of the Millennium Falcon might be the first-ever bit of footage from the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens. What do you think?

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As we wait for the grand jury decision about Michael Brown’s death, I cannot help but wonder how we understand, process and respect the differences in the legacy and imprint of his death and the protests and unrest in Ferguson Missouri, and how different these tragedies are seen/felt by many of us.

I sat in an airport business lounge recently nervously watching the CNN coverage of Ferguson, and the grand jury decision. Like many, I want a decision to be made, and want there to be peace in Ferguson. I was nervous that a decision would be announced, and that whatever the decision would be, others around me would make insensitive comments or declarations without a level of mindfulness or compassion about others around them.

I am keenly aware that people have different beliefs and about ideas about the Michael Brown shooting, and what has been happening in Ferguson. I am grateful that I live in a country where people can have their own opinions and freedom of expression. I do not always expect others to agree with me. I do question the current day climate for civil discourse, mindful communication, empathy and understanding of a much a larger and complex social and political history and context.

When the verdict about the Trayvon Martin shooting occurred in 2012, I vividly remember being home alone, and watching the verdict. I was shocked and disappointed. I was able to deal with my own emotions and feelings, and did not have to explain the emotions, nor put them in context, or connect them to a deeper historical legacy.

For many of us, the shooting death of Michael Brown cannot be seen in isolation, nor will the grand jury decision. There are historical legacies and events that bring up questions of bias, profiling, police presence, protest, the valuing/devaluing of lives, and the tragic loss of a young Black man.

Social media can often be often be an unscientific “temperature check” for the different viewpoints and expressions of confusion, fear, anger, disappointment and conscious and unconscious bias. In some ways, the world of short blogs and 140 characters is symbolic of the all too prevalent overly simplified analyses, and sensational headlines that might generation “likes” and “retweets,” but do not bring us to a better understanding of people, communities or our history.

Mark Williams, in his book Ten Lenses: Your Guide to Living and Working in a Multicultural World, asks us to think about how our Legacies+ Layers= and Lenses and how we view the world. Williams explains that our “layers” are the aspects of our identity (race, gender, age, sexual orientation, language, ability, education, etc.) Our “legacies” are our ancestors’ experiences.

Sociology and anthropology have additional theoretical ways of looking at groups, identity and connection. What Williams offers us is a very simple and clear way to think about how events and life experiences impact the way we view the world.

This could be a challenging model for those that believe that people need to “get over” things that have happened in the past. This is not to suggest that we do not acknowledge and celebrate progress, and the many changes that have been made a societal, national, and international level. It does however challenge us to think more holistically about the power and historical legacy of certain language, media images, and tragedies like Michael Brown’s death.

In October of 2014, the Wall Street Journal reported that Governor Nixon formed a commission that would “to study and recommend ways to address underlying, systemic inequality.”

The commission was formed after the protests and unrest, with the awareness that there is a legacy of inequality in Ferguson Missouri. It is a legacy that many have chosen not to see.

The protest and unrest that followed the Michael Brown shooting in Ferguson has been summarized by some with a generalized blanketing of individual behaviors to whole communities, and evaluations of complex situations with inaccurate collective blame. The virulent posts about looting and “thugs,” often assess the events in Ferguson with a focus on highlighted criminality, and generalizations of the protests as nothing more than rampant looting.

I do not condone criminality or looting… nor do the majority of people in Ferguson, or those who support the people in Ferguson. My focus is more on the pain of the Michael Brown’s family, the unrest after the shooting, and the legacies of inadequate educational access, poverty and related challenges.

Michael Brown’s father recently shared a poignant video message acknowledging what was happening in Ferguson. He shared that he wants the grand jury decision to lead to “incredible change; positive change; change that makes the St. Louis region better for everyone.” He also cautioned that “hurting others or destroying property is not the answer.”

Civil Rights activist, professor and author Mel King views Ferguson through his experiences and the legacies of segregation and civil rights. In a recent interview he stated that “no one addresses the crimes against humanity, and every time something like this happens (Ferguson,) it is a crime against humanity.” For King, Ferguson is tied to a much bigger picture, that includes his life experiences and a history of social justice, struggle, community empowerment, and civil rights.

Dr. Ancella Livers, is a renowned Executive coach, and expert in leadership and leadership solutions. In her article entitled “Skittles and Race in the Workplace,” she talks about how the Trayvon Martin shooting is part of her consciousness, and connected to her worries and fears about her own sons. She writes “I know that I am not alone. I know there are other mothers, sisters, aunts and friends out there who carry such fears about their brown sons, their gay ones, their Muslim and Jewish ones. But there are few places for us to share these worries and fears.” Her courageous vulnerability reminds us that the Trayvon Martin shooting is a legacy for her, and for others, and that is not something that can be checked at the door.

Moving Forward

In August, we read about a school that banned discussions about Michael Brown’s death, and the protests in Ferguson. In the age of school shootings, and numerous challenges to healthy school communities, we can intellectually understand the desire to protect the students from information that could be scary and overwhelming.

However, I also believe that there was perhaps a missed opportunity for learning.
In my global diversity and inclusion and coaching work, I have learned that learning and dialogue about our layers, legacies and lenses can lead to better relationships at the individual and organizational levels. Banned topics do not cease to be discussed. Banning a conversation sends a message about a topic, and leads to discussions that often cannot benefit from diverse perspectives, life experiences, or the sharing of legacies.

Moving forward, I would hope that we create conversations that allow for nuances, the learning of different legacies, and the connection to our national and global communities.

Recent research in the U.K. linked happiness to a child’s emotional health. They discuss emotional health as a predictor of future happiness. There are potentially severe implications and questions for children growing up reading about/seeing the news of Michael Brown’s death, and the protests in Ferguson without healthy opportunities for support, sharing, and learning. What are some of the legacies that will impact children in the future? How can we help support and nurture the emotional health of all young people in an age of economic and educational disparity? How can we help children (and adults,) understand the different legacies that shape the way we view what happens our country and world? How can we help children process the deaths of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown so that they understand that all lives do matter?

As we wait for the grand jury decision, I would advocate for a deeper awareness of the legacies, and an awareness Michael Brown’s death, the protests in Ferguson, and the grand jury decision will indeed be a legacy for people around the world.

The Thanksgiving holiday approaches. Do you anticipate this event with desire or dread? For many families it is the one time of year they can get together for at least a few hours to create memories, reminisce, and share a traditional feast. But it can also be a time of anxiety, with issues to avoid and feelings that can easily be hurt.

How then can I even consider suggesting you bring up the subject of growing older — not only the physical aspects but the financial planning issues that will inevitably arise?

Certainly, this is not a subject to bring up over dinner or immediately after when the family is headed to the couch to watch the football games. Maybe you could postpone the topic until the next day. Black Friday is so passé, with holiday sales starting early. Instead, we could rename it “Family Friday” — a time to catch up on those touchy intergenerational financial questions:

• Do you have a will and a healthcare power of attorney?

• Who will be guardian for your minor children in case of a tragedy?

• Have you thought about downsizing from this big house to a smaller place?

• What about the costs of care that is not covered by Medicare or supplement policies

“Tread lightly,” advises Dr. Barbara Nusbaum, a New York psychologist and specialist in coaching individuals and families with money issues. “Everyone knows they are getting older, but few are open to discussing the financial issues in advance.”

In fact, a recent Genworth survey shows that although 70 percent of people over age 65 are likely to need some sort of care and support during their lifetime, the average person would rather visit the dentist than discuss the prospects of financing long term custodial care.

The Genworth study reveals that fewer than 30 percent of adults have had a conversation about planning for their long term care or aging needs. That’s a set-up for financial disaster and family conflict.
If you worry that things could get tense discussing these issues in advance, just imagine how difficult it would be if one day you have to contact your siblings about chipping in for the cost of Dad’s care, or deciding which of you will take Mom into your home, becoming a caregiver.

In response, Genworth has created an “age-simulation suit” designed to show the impact of aging on things like hearing loss, physical ability to do basic tasks, and common vision disorders. The idea is to let people feel for themselves how age will impact their abilities — and cause the need for caregivers to assist in everday living tasks.

Tips for Talk

So how do you bring up these topics without causing a family meltdown? Dr. Nusbaum has some tips:

• Start with the “easiest” family member. If you know Mom is adamant about remaining in the house, ask Dad if he thinks it is getting to be “too much” for her to handle. Ask if he’s planned to get someone to help care for the house – and for Mom.

• Start a conversation about someone else – perhaps a family friend that recently became ill or moved into senior living. Ask Mom how she feels about that person’s situation – and how she might want things handled differently.

• Have a conversation with your siblings to get a feel for how each of you would be able to react, and perhaps help financially, if something were to happen to one of your parents, changing their ability to remain independent. Don’t let the responsibility totally default to one adult child.

Dr. Nusbaum notes this is a two-way conversation. Sometimes parents really want to talk about these topics but their adult children want to ignore the reality – or fear the burden. Don’t be guilty of “magical thinking” — believing your parents are immortal, or invincible.

This conversation is too important to be avoided–and even a brief family meeting over the holidays can bring everyone to the same understanding. It’s the talk that gives a painful reminder of time passing, but gives peace of mind to all generations.

To help get the talk started, you can get my Personal Financial Organizer form at www.TerrySavage.com by filling in your name and email address in the yellow box that pops up when you arrive at my website. When you click to “subscribe” to my free newsletter (the mailing list is never shared), you’ll get a return email with a link to the organizer form. You can fill it out online and save it to your computer, or print it out and put it in a place where it could be located in an emergency. And feel free to print out as many blank copies as you like, or to share the link with friends and family.

Giving the organizer form to your adult children at your holiday dinner is a great way to start the talk. It asks questions about your financial plans, your investment and savings accounts, insurance policies, and credit cards. Plus it covers those topics you want to avoid: location of your will or living trust, cemetery deed, safe deposit box, etc. Getting organized and filling in the form will serve as a reminder of what’s missing from your plan.

You can make it a wonderful holiday by giving your family the gift of love –and peace of mind — by having “The Talk”. And that’s The Savage Truth.

People who work together, play together, belong to groups together, are more likely to respond quickly and effectively to a crisis. This is an important message contained in the new book “The Resilience Dividend” by Judith Rodin, president of the Rockefeller Foundation, a psychologist by training and former head of the University of Pennsylvania. The book’s subtitle “Being Strong in a World Where Things go Wrong” points at the significance of a community’s “capacity to bounce back from a crisis, learn from it, and achieve revitalization.”

The book is a call to maintain, create, and strengthen social cohesion. In her Wall Street Journal review of “The Resilience Dividend,” Hudson Institute Senior Fellow Melanie Kirkpatrick points out that, “[i]n a world of disruption there are ways to cope with crisis and even, perhaps, grow stronger as a result.” This ties in with the importance of active civil engagement for a strong democracy. And this engagement is based, in the end, on the many, diverse forms of in-person social interactions that enrich our lives.

In the United States we are Americans first but take equal pride in our individual and community heritage. And groups that tie those of common heritage together will inevitably strengthen our society at large. Think of the parades in New York City that highlight and celebrate the contributions of an ethnic groups to our country. With advancing technology and social media, it is the Russian-American community that has found an original, important, and entertaining way to strengthen social cohesion. The newly created “Russian American Person of the Year” program wants to “unify the diverse communities of all Russian-speaking Americans” in the United States.

Indeed, conceived by Alexander Levin, already recognized as bridge-builder between communities, and supported by the World Forum of Russian Speaking Jewry and the American Council for World Jewry, this program invited in 2014 – and will now do so again annually – millions of people in the U.S. Russian-speaking population to nominate and vote for the Russian-American who has made the community proud. At the same time, it will add value to the larger society. Through a web-based voting system nominations and then votes are available in eight categories: Educator of the Year; Emerging Leader of the Year; Philanthropist of the Year; Innovator of the Year; Visual Artist of the Year; Media Award; Performer of the Year; and the Lifetime Achievement Award. A Facebook page and website provide additional information. The Awards will then be bestowed at a Gala the Sunday before Thanksgiving.

An advisory board included accomplished members, such as Nobel Peace Laureate Elie Wiesel, Award-winning TV host Larry King, Consul General of Israel in New York Ido Aharoni, Guardian Angels Founder Curtis Sliwa, and American Council of World Jewry President Jack Rosen.

The Awards are meant as a symbol of the Russian-American community’s trust and respect, as a marker, as formulated in the stipulations, “of not only all that the Russian-speaking American community has accomplished in the past, but of what it will continue to accomplish in the future.” A strong community is already an important goal in itself. But with Judith Rodin’s findings in mind, it is the country that inevitably will benefit from this creative program.

Russian immigration to the United States took place in waves and statistics indicate that today 44 percent of Russian Americans are living the Northeast of the United States, with significant numbers now also in Florida and California. The undisputed center of the community’s life is, however, New York City. Mayor Bill de Blasio acknowledged that fact when he spoke about the “Russian impact on New York City, which is stronger every day, and goes well back into the 1880s” in his first appearance to the Russian-speaking community at the occasion of the beginning of the annual Russian Heritage Month, which is organized annually by the venerable Russian American Foundation.

While Russians assimilated into mainstream American life they faced suspicions during the Cold War of being potential Communist spies. More recently, they faced stereotyping by being linked to organized crime, not unlike Italian Americans. Unfortunately, references to these stereotypes linger in today’s mainstream media. Studies found that, politically, Russian Americans have never really formed a strong voting bloc that would encourage American politicians to solicit their support. An exception to the rule would be New York City’s Brighton Beach constituency. With the continued lack of a significant ability to influence politics in Russia and the countries that emerged from the former Soviet Union, civic organizations were formed to focus on their community in the United States and its relationship to American society. Cultural programs and people-to-people exchanges, such as the Russian Heritage Month, improve the way the community’s culture is perceived and depicted in media and public life.

This is where the original contribution of the “Russian American Person of the Year Award” lies: Not only does it celebrate the achievements of Russian Americans but strives to education – and motivate – both Russian Americans and, indeed, all Americans about outstanding individuals who have contributed to many aspects of life in the United States. The Awards achieve a triple feat: The education about achievements of Russian Americans mentioned above, the bringing together of the diverse communities of all Russian-speaking Americans in the United States, and the strengthening of Russian American and larger American communities through enhanced social cohesion.

Through the “Russian American Person of Year” Awards, this social cohesion is paired with civic engagement as well as consciousness about the need to preserve and pass on language, culture, traditions. This heritage is reason to be proud and worth celebrating. Kira Kazantsev, Miss America 2015 with a laudable platform of protecting women against domestic violence, who was born in the United States to Russian parents and is a supporter of the Awards, would agree.