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Nov 21

Two Charged With Terroristic Threatening Over Dog Poop

Nobody likes a neighbor who doesn’t pick up after their dog.

Case in point: two Maui residents were so upset at finding dog poop in their yard on Sunday that they allegedly menaced a neighbor with golf clubs.

The Maui News reports that Aaron Steen, 38, and Candace Deponte, 32, blamed their neighbor for planting the dog feces in their yard and approached her while hurling obscenities and wielding golf clubs.

The alleged victim was reportedly appraising damage to her car’s windshield when Deponte entered the car and then followed the dog owner into her house, further threatening to harm her. This earned Deponte a charge of first-degree terroristic threatening, as well as first-degree burglary and first-degree unauthorized entry to a vehicle — felonies both.

In addition to terroristic threatening, Steen was also charged with third-degree criminal property damage.

The two suspects are now prohibited from contacting the dog owner or going near her house.

Nov 21

Attached at the Hip

Posted in: Today's Chili

My neighborhood is teeming with attached babies. They’re peeking out from elaborate wraps which swaddle them onto the backs of their moms or snuggling into pouches strapped tightly to the chests of their dads. After the lights go out, they’re sharing the family bed and breastfeeding off and on throughout the night, taking sips between naps. Attachment parenting is all the rage, which goes to prove there truly is nothing new under the sun. We return to our animal past, we acknowledge the wisdom of ancient cultures and the common practices of the developing world, and we claim it all as new and fresh.

I recently went to a seminar on attachment theory — the social science underpinning the parenting practices of my neighbors — and its relation to custody cases. Attachment theory is about the bond a baby forms with her parent or caregiver and the importance of that bond in later life.

The idea is that a parent who is consistently available, attuned and responsive to an infant’s needs allows that infant to develop a sense of security, a base from which she can explore the world. Children who are securely attached as infants, the theory goes, grow up with stronger self-esteem, are more self-reliant, have more successful social relationships and experience less depression and anxiety as adults. All of which makes sense to me at an intuitive level as a daughter, a mother and a family lawyer.

But it’s complicated. Pretty much, when we’re talking about this type of parenting, we’re talking about mom. What about the dark streak of regression in this vision, the look-back to times more oppressive, in actuality, than pastoral? What about the woman who does not want to use her body this way, who prefers to have her baby sleep in his own room so she can rest more soundly or have sex with her partner or read a magazine? Or the woman — most women — who needs to get up and go to work in the morning, whose infant cannot be attached to her body all day because she’s running the cash register or cleaning the hotel room or trying cases? Are we bad if we don’t want our bodies to be vessels? If we don’t choose to breastfeed, if we dislike co-sleeping?

Back in the seminar, I could see the hackles rising on the lawyers in attendance. We were shifting uncomfortably in our seats even before the psychologists began to address how this theory might guide courts in the establishment of parenting plans. We were all connecting the unspoken dots, worrying how this theory could be used by judges to minimize the role of divorced or separated fathers in the lives of young children. If supporting a baby’s relationship with the parent to whom she is more attached is better for the baby, and if no extended periods of time should be spent away from mom while a baby (or toddler) is breastfeeding on demand, how can babies and young children become similarly attached to their dads? The notion, prevalent for so long, that fathers are inferior caregivers when it comes to babies or young children, is no longer embodied in the law. And the cultural norm has shifted as well. Most of my clients, both mothers and fathers, expect that dads will engage in hands-on, day-to-day parenting. And there is certainly lots of social science to support the importance of paternal involvement in children’s lives.

So, what do we conclude? If what’s best for the child really is to maximize the role of the primary caregiver until she’s 2 or 3, then dads should just suck it up. But if there is no hierarchy of attachment, then maybe the stress to the baby of spending time away from the primary caregiver will be outweighed by the opportunity to develop that same kind of relationship with her father. I don’t know the answer. But I do know this: I have represented fathers of infants who ache to spend more time with their babies. And I have represented mothers of infants who do not want to be always available to them, who want time away, who want the fathers to share the burden as well as the joy. And if those parents are happier with that arrangement, doesn’t that benefit their babies?

Maybe the popularity of attachment parenting will swing the pendulum away from joint custody for young children. And maybe not. But one thing is certain: judges’ determinations about what’s in the best interest of children will always be informed by the common culture in which we all live. And right now, from my window, I’m seeing an awful lot of babies attached to their mothers’ bodies.

Nov 21

12 Best YouTube Channels for Kids and Teens

Posted in: Today's Chili

By Caroline Knorr, Common Sense Media parenting editor

YouTube’s statistics never cease to amaze: more than 1 billion unique users per month, over 6 billion hours of video watched per month, 100 hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute. Fine, but what if you want to find something for your kids to watch besides expletive-laced game commentary and twerking videos?

You’re in luck. Among the millions and billions, there’s a tiny slice of really good stuff — stuff that’s creative, innovative, eye-opening, mind-expanding, and even practical. But the truly excellent content is not always easy to find. Just when you think you’ve found a kid-friendly channel, your kid clicks off into something totally age-inappropriate.

We set out to find the 10 best channels for kids on YouTube; we wound up with 12. Along the way, we learned a lot, laughed out loud, and fell in love with what YouTube — at its best — can bring to your kids. (We estimated age targets and recommend you watch with your kid to familiarize yourself with the content.)

Mother Goose Club. Not at all fusty, the six colorful characters (adults and kids) introduce little ones to nursery rhymes and other preschool classics, through movement, song, and skits. You can choose to watch single, short (1- to 2-minute) episodes or the channel’s curated playlists (which run around 30 minutes).

Best for: Preschoolers

Don’t miss: “Rockin’ Robot,” a super catchy tune with fun robot moves the whole family will find irresistible

Simple Kids Crafts. With the motto “Recycled, easy crafts that really work,” this channel offers more than 700 how-tos on everything from bottle-cap tops to doll furnishings. Most activities require a minimum of materials, time, and expertise, so you can get started right away.

Best for: Younger kids

Don’t miss: The host’s fascinating “Draw My Life” video, which tells the story of a precocious child who became a computer engineer and world traveler.

The Brain Scoop. From the Chicago Field Museum comes this quirky educational channel that provides a glimpse behind the scenes of a natural history museum. Trips to the animal prep lab (where skinning and gutting happens), hands-on demonstrations of earth science concepts, and explanations of animals and species are hosted by the highly entertaining and knowledgeable Chief Curiosity Correspondent Emily Graslie. Each video has a “viewer’s discretion” disclaimer and a “grossometer” meter so you can decide if it’s appropriate for your kid.