'The League,' Season 6, Episode 12 Recap: Ménage a Cinq

Things are heating up as this season begins winding down. Andre is stressed out with both his restaurant responsibilities and the playoffs, Pete is all about getting to the beach house, and Taco has found a new weed to ingest… obsessively.

Pete heads to Andre’s office to meet him for lunch, encountering a post-op bandaged woman in the waiting room in the process. Excited for her burgeoning pretty face, Pete asks her on a date, which she accepts. Typical vapid Pete. Wouldn’t have him any other way. Andre is still freaking out over his league because he’s worried he won’t be able to take out the powerhouse that is Russell. As the gang later discusses at Gibson’s, Russell is unstoppable lately with fantasy football. He’s turned his sex addiction into league addiction. The gang realizes they need to push Russell off the football bandwagon and back onto the sex bandwagon. They play dirty. I like it.

andre

After a wildly successful date with the hot, newly un-bandaged girl, Emma, Pete is flying. He joins the gang at Ménage a Cinq and Andre lays down the law on how Pete needs to treat Emma. As her doctor, this somehow gives Andre the authority to dictate how Emma should be courted. He coaches Pete and convinces him to take her on a romantic dinner date. Andre might be a moron with some things but I’ll give him some props here — he does know how to woo a chick. Now if only he knew how to dress properly… and not say weird sh*t.

At the brothel that is the EBDbBnB, Taco and Kevin have concocted a plan to get Russell into the EBDbBnB so he gets seduced by Crazy Tiffany and in turn, loses the playoffs. The plan fails miserably and almost leads to full-fledged sexual assault on Kevin. Russell is too far gone down the road of sobriety to succumb to Crazy Tiffany. Luckily, Taco isn’t.

After another successful date with Emma, this time courtesy of Andre’s tips, Pete is thrilled. He thanks Andre, who not only takes credit for the date idea but also for all of Emma’s, um, assets. This leads Pete to get super uncomfortable, especially when he and Emma start hooking up. Andre’s all up in Pete’s head now and Pete can’t stop hearing Andre’s voice while things heat up. Everything reaches the weird apex when Emma disrobes and Pete imagines Andre’s face on her nipples.Talk about a boner killer. Pete freaks out and leaves Emma half-naked.

Emma goes to Ménage a Cinq to talk to Andre after Pete abandons her because of the Andre weirdness in his head. She runs into Russell and explains her situation. Russell consoles her first with wine… and then his body. It didn’t take much but Emma pulled Russell back onto the nympho bandwagon right quick. Plastic surgery, for the win.

trixie

It’s opening night at Ménage a Cinq and Russell’s been MIA since Sunday. The gang is hanging out to celebrate with Andre but obviously the league takes precedence in conversation. Kevin’s bitter about being in the Sacko and Ruxin’s loving it. Taco is a hot mess with his new speed weed and hasn’t slept in weeks. Andre is panicking that he can’t find Russell because he doesn’t know enough about wine to run the show himself. When he finally does find Russell in the back wine room, Russell’s mid-coitus with Emma and flying high on Taco’s speed weed. Andre scolds Russell and insists he get it together because the restaurant reviewer is due to arrive any minute.

And what do you know, we know the restaurant reviewer. It is none other than Trixie Von Stein, a ghost from Andre’s and “The League” seasons past. Still blind from her allergic reaction to Andre’s semen, she’s changed careers and is a prominent restaurant critic. Her and Andre exchange pleasantries and they begin the tour. Everything goes haywire when Russell, high on the speed weed, starts boning a brick of cheese in the middle of the restaurant — ruining the whole review and everyone’s appetite.

Oh, and Russell never set a kicker before game time so it’s off to the Shiva Bowl for Andre and Ruxin. Things are about to get cray.

THINGS TO NOTE:

  • “Who has friends from Yemen?” “I lead an interesting life.”
  • “History has proven that Russell would rather have sex with a bowl of hummus than you.”
  • “Welcome to no missionary fridays.”
  • “There’s a lot of familiar buttholes in here.”
  • “I’ve been counting the days until you play with my nipples.”
  • “Come back tomorrow and tell me all about my labia.”
  • Andre’s face on Emma’s boobs.
  • “You look like a hasidic club promoter.”
  • “You’re jerking off to corn?”
  • Keep up with “The League” recaps here every week. “The League” airs on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on FXX.

    Legal Challenges To Obama's Deportation Relief Are Probably Doomed, Experts Say

    President Barack Obama’s planned executive action that would reportedly offer deportation relief to millions of undocumented immigrants is based on uncontroversial and widely accepted legal foundations, experts said.

    It won’t be possible to fully assess Obama’s executive action until Thursday, when he unveils it. But if, as administration officials have suggested, the executive action expands prosecutorial discretion and provides work permits for beneficiaries, a consensus is forming among legal experts that few legal barriers would stand in the way.

    House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) is considering suing the White House over its use of executive authority on immigration, according to The Washington Post. U.S. Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) said this week that Obama’s deportation relief would provoke a “constitutional crisis.”

    But Stephen Yale-Loeher, a professor of law at Cornell University, disagreed.

    “Constitutional crisis is in the eye of the beholder,” Yale-Loehr told The Huffington Post. “The president, I’m sure, has consulted with his legal advisers to make sure that it will withstand legal challenges. Ultimately it will be up to the courts to decide who’s right on this.”

    If a lawsuit makes it to the courts, Yale-Loehr said he expects the White House to prevail. He cautioned that he can’t speculate until Obama announces details, but noted that courts have generally given both Congress and the White House wide latitude to regulate immigration.

    “Certainly anyone can sue on anything at any time,” Yale-Loeher said. “I think that such a lawsuit would fail however, for the following reasons: One is that the courts have generally recognized broad discretion on the part of the executive on prosecutorial discretion. Second, there’s wide recognition that Obama can’t deport everyone. He doesn’t physically have the resources. … Given that fact, he has to prioritize.”

    Prosecutorial discretion, the idea that the government may choose which cases it prosecutes in order to focus its limited resources, has been widely applied in immigration law.

    In 2012, the Obama administration announced it would defer deportation for children brought here illegally as children. The policy, known as “Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals,” or DACA, currently shields more than a half-million undocumented immigrants from deportation.

    Prior to DACA, Obama had used the principle of prosecutorial discretion to direct Immigration and Customs Enforcement to focus on deporting people with criminal records or who had been deported before.

    The application of prosecutorial discretion to deportation cases didn’t begin with Obama.

    The last comprehensive immigration reform, signed by then-President Ronald Reagan in 1986, created a pathway to citizenship for roughly 3 million undocumented immigrants. But the legislation left out parents and spouses of those who applied, according to a report by the Immigration Policy Center. The Reagan administration responded by using its authority to protect those groups from deportation, a policy expanded by President George H. W. Bush when Congress failed to pass legislation addressing the issue.

    Since 1956, every U.S. president has used executive authority to offer deportation relief to one group or another, the report says.

    Legal scholars at the annual meeting of the Federalist Society last week conceded it’s difficult to defend the argument that using executive action to offer deportation relief is somehow illegal.

    “I think the roots of prosecutorial discretion are extremely deep,” Duke Law School professor Christopher Schroeder said at the meeting. “The practice is long and robust. The case law is robust.”

    Stephen Legomsky, former chief counsel with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services and a law professor at Washington University in St. Louis, said Congress itself has recognized “deferred action” in laws passed after the principle had become widely applied in the 1980s.

    “The old INS used deferred action regularly, long before it was in the statute,” Legomsky said, referring to the Immigration and Naturalization Service, which was replaced by the Department of Homeland Security. “Congress has added to the statute provisions that have recognized deferred action by name.”

    Offering work permits to those who benefit from deferred deportation is, likewise, uncontroversial as far as the law is concerned, Legomsky said.

    The Code of Federal Regulations, a collection of rules with the force of law established by federal agencies, specifically authorizes the employment of undocumented immigrants who have been granted “deferred action,” provided the applicant demonstrates “an economic necessity for employment.”

    The rule was first adopted in 1987, according to Legomsky.

    Both Legomsky and Yale-Loeher questioned the argument that the executive action was unconstitutional. Even if Obama enacted the broadest reform that unnamed officials have hinted so far, which would protect some 5 million undocumented immigrants, millions of immigrants would remain and deportations would proceed apace, making it difficult to mount the argument that Obama isn’t enforcing immigration law.

    “I feel very confident about his legal authority,” Legomsky said. “Nothing he’s about to do will prevent him from deporting as many people as his resources permit. Either way, he’s using all the enforcement resources that Congress is giving him.”

    Bill Clinton Says Obama Has Legal Authority For Executive Action On Immigration

    WASHINGTON (AP) — Former President Bill Clinton on Wednesday noted that previous U.S. presidents have issued some type of executive order on immigration, suggesting his Democratic successor was on “pretty firm legal ground.”

    The former president spoke on the eve of President Barack Obama’s scheduled announcement of executive actions to spare as many as 5 million immigrants from being deported from the U.S. Clinton said during an event honoring the magazine The New Republic that it was part of a larger debate about the nation’s role around the globe. “As far as I can tell every president in the modern era has issued some executive action on immigration, so I imagine he’ll be on pretty firm legal ground,” Clinton said at a gala celebrating the publication’s centennial.

    Presidents Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush extended amnesty to family members who were not covered by the last major overhaul of immigration law in 1986.

    Clinton sought to frame the debate in a larger context, saying Americans should be optimistic about the nation’s future. He said the next two decades could be positive for the country if the U.S. can develop inclusive economics and inclusive politics.

    “In a world where borders look more like nets than walls, we are becoming more interdependent whether we like it or not, so the only thing that remains is to define the terms of our interdependence,” he said.

    Clinton joked that nobody cares what an ex-president says unless his wife might run for office. Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton is considering a White House campaign in 2016.

    Logitech AnyAngle hinged cases let users prop up their iPads

    Logitech has launched a new case for the iPad mini and iPad Air 2 that in some ways resemble Lenovo’s ThinkPad 8 cover, only with one notable exception: a hidden hinge. With this hinge, users can fold the case into different angles for use in a variety of situations, whether propping it up to watch a movie or to use … Continue reading

    Nielsen tipped in plan to monitor subscription video viewership

    Nielsen plans to start monitoring video streaming services’ viewership numbers, shedding light on figures that have long been hidden from the public. Such information comes from the Wall Street Journal, which reports that it has viewed client documents related to the plan. The plan won’t include tracking viewership habits that take place on mobile devices (for now, at least), but … Continue reading

    How Guardians of the Galaxy should have ended

    How Guardians of the Galaxy should have ended

    Guardians of the Galaxy was one of the best movies of the year and probably one of the funnest movies I’ve seen in a long while but it also had its fair share of logic gaps that were glossed over. HISHE hilarious fixed the movie by changing some scenes in the movie so it all makes sense. Spoiler alert: the bad guys win.

    Read more…



    Hydrogel injections could increase survival chances for wounded soldiers

    If a team of researchers from MIT and Texas A&M University have their way, wounded soldiers will have soon have a better chance of survival. The project is a biodegradable gelatin that once injected, helps with blood coagulation, cutting down on…

    Don't Forget Cholera

    For the last few months, Ebola has grabbed the media’s attention around the world. Understandably, a significant number of news stories have portrayed the epidemic in West Africa as one of the most serious emergencies of modern times.

    But we must not forget that another outbreak continues across the Atlantic. Cholera remains a crisis in Haiti and the recent attention to the Ebola outbreak should be a reminder that we cannot drop our guard. Unlike Ebola, cholera is not a deliberate killer and easily treated with access to services, but it moves quickly, transmitted by contaminated food or water, and in environments without minimal health, hygiene, water and sanitation systems, it causes fatal epidemics, like the one that Haiti faces today.

    Where Ebola and cholera are linked, however, is that both feed on weak public health systems, and require a sustained response to combat. And, as Ebola has reminded us, in today’s globalized world, neither epidemic respects borders.

    Haiti maintains the highest caseload of cholera cases in the Western Hemisphere. By the end of September, over 707,000 suspected cholera cases and 8,600 cholera-related deaths had been recorded since the outbreak in October 2010. When rains began heavy and late in October, cases tripled from previous months. And the situation can turn worse. Long before the earthquake and cholera, Haiti has been highly vulnerable to natural disasters. Every emergency is an opportunity for epidemics.

    We are working on longer-term solutions. The UN is supporting the Government’s efforts to increase access to water, sanitation and health services, and the Secretary-General and Prime Minister launched a national sanitation campaign in July and with the World Bank announced a three-year plan in October. But it also recognizes that strengthening systems and capacity will take time. Rapid response, prevention and treatment activities need to continue while water and sanitation infrastructure is built and service delivery can be improved.

    A key preventive measure, complementing the response and systems building, can be oral cholera vaccines. Safe, affordable and effective, this intervention protects vaccinated individuals and reduces transmission and consequently the burden of disease in a community. The Government of Haiti has committed to vaccinating 600,000 people against cholera by 2015. Fresh off a vaccination campaign in September, it needs to reach 313,000 more people in 2015. The cost is only $3 million. As of now, there is zero funding available.

    Four years into the outbreak, we are seeing the cost of fleeting support. Due to lack of funding, some partners have left and many cholera treatment centers have closed. This has reduced access to treatment, is limiting timely reporting and is delaying response time. Lack of medical staff in treatment centers is also hampering response. We must be able to respond to each alert and provide treatment to cut the transmission and prevent more infection and further deaths.

    Without this, we will see more cases and more cholera-related deaths.

    Haiti’s Prime Minister Laurent Lamothe has said that cholera remained an emergency requiring all possible strategies to eliminate. In the longer term, we must for once invest in its public health systems, in particular water and sanitation, and the UN is working to support the Government of Haiti. But this will take years, and the humanitarian response is needed to respond to and control outbreaks today.

    Both cholera and Ebola have had limited reach when confronting strong public health infrastructure. Lacking these, Haiti and the Ebola-affected countries must respond to outbreaks while keeping site of the future.

    Ebola is a reminder that the job in Haiti is not done.

    Pedro Medrano Rojas is the United Nations Assistant Secretary-General and Senior Coordinator for Cholera Response in Haiti.

    The Authentic Therapist

    “You see a therapist?!?”

    I think this question is posed for several reasons. But, if I practiced mind reading, which I never recommend doing, this is what I think is really behind this question:

    Only really crazy people have to see a therapist!

    But you’re a therapist, shouldn’t you have this all figured out?

    Chin up! Can’t you just figure it out for yourself?

    You must not be strong enough to deal.

    I struggle, and I am a therapist.

    I am a therapist, and yet I am also a perfectly imperfect human myself.

    I have faith there will be a day when we all have a therapist we work with sporadically throughout our lives. Because life is hard and people are complicated. And, to have someone outside of your friends and family to help you through it all, is nothing less than priceless.

    I also have faith there will be a day that people aren’t shocked that I regularly see a therapist (patients, friends, family and strangers alike). Because life is hard and people are complicated, especially when you are the one helping others through all that life is hard and people are complicated stuff.

    I am also a therapist who lives my life afraid and brave every second of every day. I live my life honoring my authentic truth. I live this way because it is how I have found my own recovery. I live this way because I have done the hard work, choosing it every day, of my recovery. I live this way because I simply cannot not live this way.

    I also live this way because I see how much my clients are empowered to change their own lives as I show them my work.

    It was drilled into my head in graduate school that as counselor we DO NOT GIVE ADVICE! It didn’t take long of me working in this field, in the real world of limited time and resources, managed health care and difficult life circumstances, that I knew this philosophy just wasn’t going to work for the people I help or for me and the kind of therapist I wanted to be. I will not answer all your troubles, I will not do the work for you, and I cannot save you if you are not ready to save yourself. But I can assure you, I will walk alongside you modeling what it is like to fight for your own recovery. I will pull you forward, at times, urging you to have faith that it will get better. And, there will be those times I push you forward because it is simply what you need right then to take the best next stop forward.

    I also learned in graduate school, as is the philosophy of many in my field, that our clients know nothing about us, that we are blank slates. Early in my career, before I really had to fight for my own recovery, I practiced more on this side of impersonal connection. However, I found that I was working way harder than my clients. I also found I struggled with boundaries because I was fighting so much harder than the client to save their life. Only after fighting for my own recovery was I able to both share and model my fight for my clients. Self disclosure will always be a hotly debated topic in mental health, as it needs be. As, it needs to be used ONLY when it will move the client forward in their own work. Therapists, myself included, must be careful to not dump our own shit onto our clients. Constantly keeping tabs on why we are sharing our own battles with our clients to make sure it is for them and not us.

    My own transparency along with the public forum of writing a blog and publishing a book has meant my clients may know a lot about my life and struggles, sometimes even before their first session. I am sure this will make some in my field cringe, graduate professors included. However, it is without a doubt, that I can say this has done nothing but make me a better therapist and better able to help others through their struggles. Not only does this provide constant teaching moments for clients in empathy and authenticity but they know they are truly seen and known when they come to see me for their sessions. They know they are talking to someone who has fought this epic war of recovery. They know they are talking to someone who is not perfect, who also struggles with self-compassion towards that perfection but who, most importantly, owns their story. I have been asked by my own treatment team what it has been like for my clients to know more about my life, especially as this is something I make sure to have supervision on. Honestly, it is something that is difficult to put into words as it feels like something bigger than us; it is recovery, it is connection, it is ever upward.

    Marianne Williamson captures this perfectly, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    So I will write about my life, both in this blog and in the book Ever Upward. I will share with my clients parts of my own story when I think it will be helpful in their recovery. I will model the daily fight and choices of recovery.

    I will help.

    I will walk alongside.

    I will pull forward.

    And, I will push.

    I will help by being me. I will help by owning my story; ugly, shameful, scary, imperfect parts and all. Because it is only within this ownership that my ever upward is found and I can really help.

    To read more about Justine’s story of recovery purchase your copy of Ever Upward today!

    Yoga: The Skill of Stilling the Mind

    There is a new icebreaker in the international diplomatic circuit. The Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s call at the UN General Assembly for declaring an International Yoga Day has gained support from several quarters — many representatives from Congress and President Obama as well have shown keen interest in yoga.

    From being an ancient spiritual pursuit for those seeking enlightenment, yoga has been absorbed into mainstream lifestyle by people from all cultures and backgrounds across the globe. And now it has also arrived in the global political arena. Good governance and administration require multi-faceted skills and yoga brings skill in action. In fact, it was called Raja Yoga because it was practiced by kings and princes in the ancient days.

    Yoga became popular in the West as a solution to lose weight or as a physical exercise and people also found relief from many ills such as stress, anxiety, professional burnout, addictions and insomnia. In additions to its remedial properties, yoga is also a path to realize and harness your deepest potential.

    It has a profound impact on multiple levels of our existence. While stretches and postures make the body supple, pranayama and meditation take the mind deep within. An unknown dimension opens up within our being that enriches the experience of life in many ways. There are several benefits of yoga — it enhances health, improves memory and concentration, sharpens the intellect, de-stresses the system and increases energy levels. It also unveils an intuitive ability within us, which is much needed for creative pursuits and in overcoming obstacles like the writers’ block.

    According to Maharishi Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras, the oldest known text on the subject, yoga is freedom from all the distortions of the mind. If we observe the mind, we will realize that it is always engaged in one of five things:

    1. Seeking proof or answers
    2. Forming conclusions
    3. Imagining or fantasising
    4. Remembering past events or memories
    5. Dreaming

    Yoga or union with the Higher Self happens when the mind is not engaged in any of the above. You usually identify with the activity in the mind. In the waking state, you are caught up in all that you see, smell, hear, touch, taste. If not, you return to sleep or to the state of dreaming where you are completely cut off from the world. None of these really give that deep rest that the system needs to totally recover from the stress that it gathers.

    In the physical realm, it takes effort to get results. In the realm of the mind, what is needed is effortlessness. For instance, you cannot relax or go to sleep by putting effort; in fact, putting effort is counterproductive. It takes a certain kind of skill to become effortless. The ability to deeply relax renews your ability to be dynamic in action. Passion is like the in-breath but you cannot just breath in; you need to breath out as well and that is dispassion. Life becomes a harmony when we have all three — passion, dispassion and compassion.

    Often one has to sacrifice personal freedom to some degree to observe discipline. But yoga is a discipline that opens the door to inner freedom, contradictory as it seems. With practice, you acquire the knack of switching between different modes of the mind, from engaging with the outside world to withdrawing from it and going within; between passion and dispassion. This skill of moving outward or inward at will makes you the master of your own mind, and when you win over the mind, you win over the world.

    Follow Sri Sri Ravi Shankar on Twitter @SriSri
    For more on happiness and silence programs, visit http://www.artofliving.org/us-en and International Meditation Center, Boone, North Carolina