It's Officially Breakup Season

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If we refer back to historical Facebook status data, we are just about to enter the second major peak in breakups of the year.

The first peak, dubbed the “Spring Clean,” occurs in March, but the second largest occurs about two weeks before the winter holidays. Right about now.

Why? It could be a lot of things. Maybe these breakups occur to avoid The Meeting of the Families. Maybe the vacation days are seen as a “good” time to break up because both people will be surrounded by the comforts of home and family. Or maybe it’s time for a fresh start, with the new year just around the corner.

Regardless, if this data is any indication of what will happen this year, we are likely to see more breakups in the coming weeks than usual. It’s so common, in fact, that breakups this week have their own name: the “turkey drop.”

So if you find yourself in this group, know that you are not alone. You are in good company, and you’re going to make it through the next few months.

The first thing to acknowledge is that the holiday season may feel different if you’re used to spending it with a partner in crime. You might be thinking: Who will save me from the awkward conversation with Jill at Thanksgiving? Who will help me plan the ugly sweater potluck? Who will keep me company on that long red eye home? Who will I kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve?

It’s normal to ask these questions and feel anxious about the answers, but if you find yourself stuck in a rut for too long, here are some ideas for getting unstuck.

Focus on family and friends

No family is perfect and many families these days are a melting pot of humans, some related and some not. This is the group that is always there for you, regardless of your relationship status. So take the time this year to focus on giving love and attention to them, especially the ones who are also not in romantic relationships.

Sit down with your older relatives and ask them questions about their lives so that you don’t have to make up 50 percent of the story when you try to re-tell it to friends. Go through old photo albums with your cousins and relive funny memories. Learn how to make that life changing bread that your uncle makes from scratch so that you can go home and make it for yourself.

Your attention is the best gift you can give someone this time of year, and you luckily have more attention to dole out at family and friend gatherings this year if you’re single. Enjoy it, because you don’t know how long it will last.

Focus on those in need

There are a lot of people around you who will have difficulty making it through the holidays too, and it’s not because they’re going through a breakup. Many people, and the organizations that help those people, could use an extra hand during the holiday season.

Whether you donate your time, talent or money, giving to others is a great tradition to start this holiday season and keep going throughout the year. Many companies get involved with non-profit organizations during the holidays, so ask around the office and see how you can contribute or get something started. If you want to volunteer but don’t know where to go, check out the listings at Volunteer Match.

Plan ahead for solo travel

If you usually travel home or go on vacation with your significant other for the holidays, you might find travel plans a bit more daunting this year. Instead of focusing on all of the people who are coupled up around you at the airport or train station, plan ahead and keep yourself occupied.

Make playlists for long rides. Get into a podcast. Write your holiday cards. Read that book you’ve had on your nightstand for a year, or, even more comforting, download the audio book and listen to it. If you’re feeling lonely as you make your way from point A to point B, call a few friends you’ve been meaning to catch up with and wish them happy holidays.

Most important, make sure that you proactively make plans for the big holiday days in November and December if you are staying local. Even if it’s just ordering takeout with a few friends who are also staying in town, it’s important that you don’t isolate yourself, even if you feel like staying in bed till 2015.

Remember, you have the unique opportunity to shift your focus from your ex to people that you may not have prioritized when you were coupled up (your family, your friends, strangers and yourself). Take it!

Why Remembering Jewish Refugees Matters

This year is International Solidarity Year with the Palestinian people. And this week was the 67th Anniversary of the Partition Plan, which proposed a Jewish and an Arab state in western Palestine. While the UN prepares to re-issue its routine condemnations of Israel, Jewish organisations worldwide joined the Israeli government in marking a different commemoration on November 30.

This is the date in 1947 when anti-Jewish riots broke out in Syria, and soon after in Bahrain and Aden. Shops were looted, synagogues and schools were burnt down and scores of Jews died. Violence soon spread across the Arab world. Within a few years, the majority of the Arab world’s million-strong Jewish population had fled.

The violence went hand-in-hand with state sanctioned persecution. In an atmosphere of increasing antisemitism, Jews were fired from their jobs, banned from travelling and entering universities, stripped of their citizenship and dispossessed of their property.

Thus the Arab-Israeli conflict created not one, but two sets of refugees.

The story of the Jewish refugees from Arab lands is little known, but has huge repercussions for today. No understanding of the Arab-Israeli conflict is complete without taking into account the fact that half of all Israeli Jews are descended from, or are themselves, Jewish refugees from Arab or Muslim lands.

The Day of Remembrance will restore the narrative of ‘eastern’ Jews to mainstream Jewish history.
But first and foremost, it will be about plugging a gaping hole in the Israeli education system.

The parliamentarian who pushed through the law, Shimon Ohayon, a former schoolmaster, puts it as follows: “Every Israeli child learns about the Kishinev pogrom, but has anyone heard about the Farhud in Iraq? The education system teaches about the first exodus from Europe, while the second exodus — the one from Islamic countries — is missing from textbooks.”

It’s not enough to promote educational and political awareness at home. After years of neglect the Israeli government has woken up to the need to raise the issue in American and international diplomatic fora.

The UN has an especially shameful record of neglect when it comes to Jewish refugees. Not a single resolution concerns Jewish refugees, whereas over 170 resolutions deal with Palestinian refugees.

The Israeli government is taking the fight to the heart of the problem — and a commemorative event was planned for the UN building in New York.

Ohayon frankly admits that Jewish refugees are a weapon in the fight against Israel’s delegitimization. “This is a vital part of our fight against those internally and externally who delegitimize our presence here and claim we are somehow foreign to the region.”

A key strategy of the Palestinian and Arab campaign has been to portray Israel as a colonial interloper in a Muslim-Arab region. But Jews lived continuously in the Islamic world for thousands of years, just as they did in the land that is now Israel.

Although they did not remain refugees for long, the ‘ethnic cleansing’ and mass dispossession of Jewish refugees remain an injustice still to be addressed.

The struggle for recognition and redress will be greatly aided by the 30th November commemoration.

As the Canadian ex-Justice minister and human rights lawyer Irwin Cotler has said: “Without remembrance there will be no justice, without justice no peace, and without peace, no reconciliation.”

Oneness: The Essence of Ethics

One of my favorite things to get is a new car. The child in me feels, I suspect, like a kid at Christmas. The scientist and the engineer in me enjoy putting new technology to the test. And who doesn’t love new car smell?

But when I buy a new car, I also want to feel that the vehicle is proven. I want to know it’s built to last. When I teach the principles of Oneness, many people find them new. If you’ve never heard of Discoverhelp, even our name, to you, is new.

What you need to know is that the principles we teach are not new. They are the underlying principles shared by all the major spiritual traditions. They have been forged in the furnace of time and withstood the light of the ages.

These time-tested, universal principles — in combination with the knowledge you will gain of your own inner self through your own life experiences — are the building blocks of a solid, ethical foundation for a life of genuine happiness.

Universal truths are not a fad. Having lived my life by them, I know this to be true.

What is new and different about us then? Never before have these principles been presented in this uniquely powerful way — with careful logic, memorable analogies and compelling personal stories. All supported 24/7/365 by digital technology that lets you access thoughtful resources and genuine help whenever you need it.

The reason for Discoverhelp is simple: to help you find the true and lasting strength that comes from true and lasting character.

Ratanjit S. Sondhe is the founder and CEO of Discoverhelp, Inc., a public speaker and the author of the new book, “How Oneness Changes Everything: Empowering Business Through 9 Universal Laws.”

Ethiopia Tests Thousands For HIV In Record Attempt

ADDIS ABABA, Ethiopia (AP) — Ethiopian officials say more than 3,300 people were tested for HIV Sunday in the rural region of Gambella, a massive turnout that exceeded expectations among AIDS campaigners who had hoped to test 2,000 people.

Rahel Gettu, an official with the U.N. Aids agency in Ethiopia, said they believed they broke the world record for the number of HIV tests carried out in one day. She said their claim was yet to be verified and confirmed by Guinness World Records. She said 3,383 people were tested for HIV within eight hours in a single event ahead of World Aids Day. Eighty-two of them received positive results.

About 6.5 percent of Gambella residents have HIV or AIDS, a rate higher than the national average of 1.5 percent. Officials hope that voluntary AIDS testing in this region that borders South Sudan can lead to a reduction in the number of new infections.

What Happened To NBC's Dr. Nancy Snyderman?

NBC News said she’d return to work sometime in November, but November is over. And the network is not giving a new date for her return.

4 Painless Ways To Trim Your Grocery Bill

If you buy meat, nuts or quinoa — or if you love Mexican food — you’ll definitely want to read this.

By Lynn Andriani

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'House Of Cards' Season 3 To Premiere In February 2015

The butchery begins again. Netflix announced the “House Of Cards” Season 3 premiere date on Monday, after teasing that President Underwood and the first lady had an important announcement: The entire next season of “House Of Cards” will debut on Netflix on Feb. 27, 2015.

Insiders began to speculate that Season 3 would be released in February 2015, following the similar premiere dates of Seasons 1 and 2. “House of Cards” creator Beau Willimon began writing the third season last February, and has been shooting in Baltimore for the past few months despite delayed production in Maryland due to tax credit bills.

Hollywood, Chinese Censors Win In TV Anti-Piracy Campaign

BEIJING — Recently, two of China’s most infamous digital pirates breathed their last when YYeTs.com and Shooter.cn, websites providing crowdsourced Chinese subtitles for American TV shows, announced their closures.

The winner from such a move appeared clear: Hollywood. The Motion Picture Association of America had long railed against YYeTs as one of the most notorious enablers of digital piracy, undercutting the value of U.S. studios’ licensing deals with Chinese video sites. In an emailed statement, the group said it welcomed the move “to build a level playing field where legitimate business can flourish.”

But there was a second and less celebrated winner in the takedowns: Chinese media censors. That’s because the crackdown on piracy will boost, and several experts say is largely motivated by, efforts to push super popular foreign TV shows into the Chinese pre-approval and censorship regime.

While Chinese regulators are providing Hollywood the revenue it thirsts for by squashing piracy and promoting paid licensing, the same regulators are simultaneously pushing new rules that subject all foreign shows streaming online to pre-approval by Chinese censors looking to erase politically sensitive or simply “unhealthy” content.

“Of course U.S. business wants the Chinese to pay for content rather than pirate it, but at the same time this empowers the government to strengthen content controls,” said Rogier Creemers, a post-doctoral researcher at Oxford University who focuses on Chinese copyright and media issues.

“What is great for U.S. business — having more paid licensing for the largest audio-visual market in the world — may not be what you want from a democratic or human rights point of view.”

Announcements that by April 2015 all foreign shows streamed must receive pre-approval from censors came just three weeks before the closure of YYeTs and Shooter.cn, which allowed viewers to watch the original programs in unadulterated form.

“The MPAA is probably a good covering factor in that [Chinese regulators] can say, ‘It’s piracy, it’s not good and we’re a nation of laws,'” said one Beijing-based media analyst who spoke off the record in order to frankly discuss government policies. “But I think the effect that they’re after is making it that much more difficult to view shows that are both unlicensed and unvetted. Being able to do it in a way that’s makes it about standing up to piracy, it’s a win-win there.”

YYeTs has announced its service in mainland China is permanently closed, but as of Monday the site remained accessible outside the country and by using software that circumvents Chinese Internet controls. Chinese media regulators did not respond to an emailed request for comment.

Long accused of being one of the most notorious global violators of American media copyright, YYeTs won’t see many tears shed on its behalf in America. But among China’s rapidly growing community of rabid American TV fans, the website was seen as something else: a grass-roots movement of world-class cultural interpretation, which provided crowd-sourced translations that creatively mixed in current slang while remaining faithful to the original English.

Founded in 2004 by young Chinese students in Canada, YYeTs recruited bilingual and multicultural volunteers who raced against competitors from other sites to crank out the best renditions of dialogue for hugely popular English-language shows. Armed with these high-quality subtitles, Chinese aficionados of American shows could freely download and enjoy pirated versions of “Homeland” and “The Walking Dead.”

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A top Chinese official reportedly enjoys the depiction of Washington in “House of Cards,” which stars Kevin Spacey. (Jordan Strauss/Invision/Associated Press)

America’s golden age of “prestige TV” has coincided with a surge in Chinese access to and interest in foreign shows. Comedies such as “The Big Bang Theory” and dark dramas like “House of Cards” built up huge online fan bases, with China’s top anti-corruption official Wang Qishan reportedly adoring the latter show’s depiction of Washington machinations.

While American shows make up a small portion of broadcast time (where foreign content is highly restricted), professor Stan Rosen of the University of Southern California, an expert on China’s relationship with Hollywood, said the U.S. shows attracted one of the most coveted consumer niches online: educated, internationally oriented and generally wealthy young people.

“This is the future in China, this cosmopolitan group: the people that travel abroad and buy foreign goods. They’re the rising middle class and the rising upper class,” Rosen told The WorldPost. “[They have] an appreciation of Western culture and they want to watch these shows uncut.”

China’s Internet Network Information Center reported that 428 million Chinese people were streaming video online by the end of 2013. That year reportedly saw $683 million in licensing fees paid for domestic and international shows, a 31 percent increase over a year earlier, according to research firm EntGroup.

Feeding into this revenue surge is a steady stream of agreements between Chinese video portals and American studios, such as video portal Sohu’s licensing of Conan O’Brien’s show “Conan” earlier this year and Tencent’s licensing agreement last week with HBO for “Game of Thrones” and other programs.

But public enthusiasm for foreign television shows hasn’t always been matched by government authorities, who in recent years have taken to framing cultural imports as weapons in an ideological invasion of China. In 2012, then-President Hu Jintao wrote that “international hostile forces are intensifying the strategic plot of Westernizing and dividing China, and ideological and cultural fields are the focal areas of their long-term infiltration.” That essay and recent speeches by President Xi Jinping called for strengthening China’s cultural output at home and abroad.

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Then-President Hu Jintao railed against the insidious influence of Western culture in China in 2012. (Andy Wong/Associated Press)

“The Chinese government has never been very happy with easy availability of foreign content, but in recent years that paranoia has been stepped up,” Creemers told The WorldPost.

Streaming online TV shows came squarely under the glare of government regulators this year. In late April, “The Big Bang Theory” and three other shows were abruptly removed from legally licensed websites, with state broadcaster CCTV promising to re-subtitle a “green version” of the popular comedy. In September and November, regulations came out mandating that all foreign shows receive season-by-season approval before being streamed, and limiting foreign content to 30 percent of domestically produced shows from the previous year.

Such rules are routine for television stations in China, but marked a new application to the previously unregulated realm of online content.

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In April, Chinese authorities removed the tremendously popular “The Big Bang Theory” from streaming sites and promised to replace it with a re-subtitled “green version” on state TV. (Ng Han Guan/Associated Press)

The majority of American shows will likely never come in contact with a censor’s scalpel, barring an errant reference to hyper-sensitive topics such as Tibet or the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre. But dramas that feature China-related storylines may be at risk. The second season of “House of Cards” incorporated a timely Chinese subplot that waded into factional politics and corruption, and censors reportedly nixed two episodes of “The Blacklist” this year that contained Chinese plots.

While regulators can simply excise offending episodes before streaming in China, perhaps the greater threat is self-censorship by Hollywood studios eyeing Chinese viewers’ tastes and censors’ sensitivities. In 2012 the makers of action film “Red Dawn” used CGI technology to retroactively change the identity of foreign forces invading the U.S. from Chinese to North Korean.

Experts say such hedging moves are inevitable as Hollywood looks to the booming Chinese box office to supplement stagnating North America markets. Despite any nipping and tucking by censors, the recent surge in licensing agreements and film co-productions between Hollywood and Chinese studios still means that the average Chinese viewer currently has more legal access to American cultural products than ever before.

But for die-hard fans of unadulterated and impeccably subtitled versions of foreign TV shows, the closures of the freewheeling subtitling sites marked the end of an era and a nudge toward viewing the officially approved translations.

“I never thought it would suddenly be shut down. Going to other sites all I can see are these castrated versions, and after a minute I just lose any desire to watch,” wrote a 30-year-old man posting on the YYeTs message board. “This finally made me realize that the original flavor put out by YYeTs is what I want.”

Exploding the Myths About Health Care in America

I don’t agree with Romney and Obama health care advisor Jonathan Gruber that Americans are stupid, but there is abundant evidence that we’re incredibly gullible. And we’re paying a big price for it. For the latest evidence, check out the documentary Remote Area Medical, which opens in select theaters across the country this coming Friday.

We’ve been told over and over again by politicians and flacks–including me in my previous career–that we have the world’s best health care system. As I explained in Deadly Spin, if you continue to believe that no other country could possibly have a better system than ours, it’s because of the overwhelmingly successful PR campaign my former colleagues and I carried out over decades.

The purpose of that campaign–a campaign that’s ongoing, by the way–is to protect the profitable status quo by obscuring an empirical truth: that when it comes to access to affordable health care, millions of Americans might as well be living in a third world country. And that’s still true today, more than four years after Obamacare became law.

Although the Affordable Care Act is helping people find coverage that doesn’t bust the family budget, more than 30 million of us are still uninsured because the law doesn’t bring down the cost of insurance nearly enough.

You will meet a few of those millions in Remote Area Medical, which is named after the organization that former TV star Stan Brock founded 30 years ago to fly doctors to remote villages along the Amazon.

“Welcome to America,” Brock says early in the film as thousands of people wait patiently in long lines at the Bristol Motor Speedway in East Tennessee.

During many weekends in the spring and summer, tens of thousands of fans fill the seats at this racetrack, one of NASCAR’s biggest. But over three days in late April or early May every year, the Speedway is transformed into an enormous pop-up health clinic.

People start arriving days early and sleep in their cars and trucks in the vast parking lot in hopes of getting one of the numbers Brock hands out before dawn each day the clinic is in operation. Inside are doctors, dentists and other caregivers who have volunteered their time to treat the thousands of men, women and children, many of whom have driven hundreds of miles–and all of whom have fallen through the big cracks that continue to differentiate the U.S. health care system from those in every other developed country.

Brock had hoped health care reform would put his operation out of business. He’d like to return to the days when all of his medical “expeditions,” as he calls them, were to countries in South America, Africa and the Caribbean. While Remote Area Medical (RAM) still conducts some missions abroad, most of its clinics for the past several years have been in the U.S. And they still are. RAM’s schedule for 2015 includes 22 clinics, in locations from Anaheim, California to Grundy, Virginia.

Not all of those who show up at RAM clinics are uninsured. Brock told me that a growing number of folks actually have insurance. The problem is that they can only afford plans with high deductibles –deductibles so high they must pay thousands of dollars out of their own pockets before coverage kicks in.

The Affordable Care Act caps the amount of money people have to pay out of pocket each year–$6,600 for an individual and $13,200 for a family–but many folks enrolled in high-deductible plans simply don’t earn nearly enough to afford those high deductibles. The RAM staff frequently gets calls from budget-strapped folks in high-deductible plans who say their insurance companies have suggested they try to find a RAM clinic to get the care they need.

The documentary was produced and directed by Jeff Reichert and Farihah Zaman, a Brooklyn-based couple who first heard about RAM from Jeff’s aunt, a retired nurse, who had volunteered at a RAM clinic. Intrigued, Jeff and Farihah decided to volunteer at a RAM clinic themselves.

“It changed us,” Farihah told me. “We knew we had to make a film about what our system has wrought.”

Unlike other documentaries about health care, Remote Area Medical doesn’t focus on politics. “We wanted to get people to think about health care in a different way,” Farihah said. “It’s easy to have a knee jerk reaction (to the politics of health care). What we wanted to do was make a film that shows what it’s actually like for people who can’t afford health care.”

Although the filmmakers offer no political point of view, they do hope lawmakers–including all those who contend we have the best health care system in the world–will see the film, either on the big screen or in March when it will be available on iTunes and Netflix. Better yet, the filmmakers would like to see lawmakers volunteer at a RAM clinic. Unfortunately, not many have done that yet.

How I Earned the Privilege of Being Called 'Mommy' By Our (Adopted) Son

Earlier this week, our kid said to his father, my husband: “Hi, nice Daddy!”

Thankfully “Daddy” patiently ignored him.

“Hey, nice Daddy!” he said a little too loudly

“I know what you are doing, OK?” I said.

I had just vetoed a kooky idea of his involving ice cream before dinner.

“No one talks to you” he said with a finger wave in front of my face. “No one,” he added with a satisfied smirk.

I don’t like finger waving and smirking is redundant as far as I am concerned. As annoying as it can be, it is typical behavior exhibited by a multitude of children trying to get what they want by marginalizing one of their parents.

Sometimes, though, it isn’t typical. We adopted our son over four years ago, but he moved in as a foster child a year before that. He immediately called my husband Mommy.

I was an articulated: “Ba.” Our mailman was called “Mommy” more than two years before I was.

Of course I asked if he would call me Mommy. As did my husband, for two reasons: to support me and because he wanted to be called “Daddy.” Still no matter how many times we asked he would not call me “Mommy.”

I was gratified by the stories of other mothers who would tell me about how “daddies rule and mommies drool.” I have heard on more than one occasion that no matter how much mothers do, daddies are the real deal. But, I knew this was different for our son. I stopped asking him to because it seemed more important to him not to call me mommy than it was for me to hear it. I wondered if it had something to do with ‘mothers.’ I was his third.

The reality was our son had a harder time bonding with me. This didn’t interfere with how I bonded with him, though. His first morning with us, it hit me. I’m someone’s mother. I have an awesome responsibility. Not awesome like totally cool, but as it was originally intended: reverent, fearful wonder. As the tears flowed, I pictured throwing myself in front of the proverbial bullet, car or bear.

I reminded myself of a story from our adoption classes. One of the trainers shared that every year for 12 years, one of her adopted daughters signed her birthday card to her the same way: Happy Birthday, Mrs. Clifford.

I had a couple people tell me to not let him get away with it. I wondered, what is he getting away with, exactly? Processing a troubled life at 2 years old? A few others said he was doing it to bother me. No sh*t.

Our son has asthma. He used to have frighteningly, terrifyingly horrible asthma. Three years ago he had a massive attack in the middle of the night. He was banging his head and clawing at his throat. My husband went into denial mode, convinced it wasn’t that bad. I took charge. I called an ambulance. My husband and I sat on the front steps, frantic, with our child who was gasping for air.

The next morning, the three of us woke up squished together in a hospital bed. My son turned to me. He put both hands on either side of my face and said: Mommy.

I had finally proved my mettle.

I have had more than one person say to me: I could never adopt. I just know I couldn’t love a child who wasn’t mine.

Sadly, some people put limits on their capacity to love. Thank goodness that isn’t true of our son.