A Minneapolis-area man recently lost a battle with cancer. But just before his death last week, he wrote an obituary where he revealed a startling secret to the world.
Aaron Joseph Purmort, 35, said he was none other than the Amazing Spider-Man:
Purmort, Aaron Joseph age 35, died peacefully at home on November 25 after complications from a radioactive spider bite that led to years of crime-fighting and a years long battle with a nefarious criminal named Cancer, who has plagued our society for far too long. Civilians will recognize him best as Spider-Man, and thank him for his many years of service protecting our city. His family knew him only as a kind and mild-mannered Art Director, a designer of websites and t-shirts, and concert posters who always had the right cardigan and the right thing to say (even if it was wildly inappropriate).
The touching obituary published in the Star-Tribune also notes that Purmort was once a member of a band called The Asparagus Children, “which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs” and that his son, Ralph, “will grow up to avenge his father’s untimely death.”
Purmort also joked that his first marriage had been to singer, actress and fashion designer Gwen Stefani. That led his “current” wife, Nora, to post on Twitter:
I hope @gwenstefani and I can finally settle our differences. We both loved @purmort http://t.co/nDsUgP2QxF #RIPBigPurm
— nora purmort (@noraborealis) November 30, 2014
Nora wrote about the obit on her blog.
“Before purmort died, we had time to sit down and write his obituary,” she wrote. “I’ve never laughed and cried more in one sitting, but I’m so glad we got to do this. I love this man so damn much.”
Nora also penned a touching remembrance on the day he died.
“Before his first surgery, I stole a marking pen from the surgeon and drew a small heart on his hand. Not so much to reassure him, but to reassure myself,” Nora wrote. “Tonight, I found the same one deep in an old makeup case and at the urging of his mother, left the same small heart for him with the same stolen marker.”
“I know what Aaron always knew: it might not be true right this second, but it’s going to be okay.”
Earlier this year, local station KARE profiled the couple when they were married. You can see that report above, and read more about them here.
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