Jan 28

Seeing the True Value of Our Loved Ones with Alzheimer's When Our Vision Is Blurred by Tears

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This article appears in a condensed version as a meditation in Seasons of Caring: Meditations for Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers, produced by Clergy Against Alzheimer’s.

Scripture: “Do you still not perceive or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes, and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear?” ~ Mark 8: 17b-18a (NRSV)

Quote: “It is only through the heart that one can see rightly.” ~Antoine de Saint Exuprey, The Little Prince.

Based on what we have heard about Alzheimer’s disease and the observations we may make with “eyes to see but do not see” and “ears to hear but do not hear,” we could erroneously conclude that the potential and purpose of persons with Alzheimer’s is all used up. But in order to discover the inherent potential and purpose of persons with Alzheimer’s, we need to look with the “fresh” eyes of one who seeks the holy – in all of life.

But how do we caregivers do this? How do we go about seeing the true value of our loved ones with Alzheimer’s when our vision is blurred by tears and heartache over the losses we are experiencing? How do we do this?

As the disease progresses, persons with Alzheimer’s will often become completely dependent. If they live through all the stages of the disease, they eventually become helpless and have no choice but to entrust their lives to us. Although caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s is an honor, it is not easy. It can be overwhelming; it can generate suffering which appears as anger, resentment or depression caused from loss and feeling powerless; and it can create irreparable conflict within families. But caregivers still do have choices. Caregiving can become the greatest burden of our lives, or the greatest blessing. Let this be an invitation to look for and choose blessing.

Through my eyes – that were blessed by caring for my mother – I developed a clear vision of people with Alzheimer’s. I see that they still have the potential to inspire us, teach us, love us, heal us, amuse us, befriend us, calm us, touch us, energize us, enlighten us, empower us, forgive us, nurture us, open our hearts, bring out the best in us, and bring meaning and purpose into our lives. We may be surprised to realize that persons with Alzheimer’s still have the capacity to show us how to be humble and trusting and courageous and receptive; how to be authentically ourselves in this present moment; how to be guileless, innocent and completely without sin.

In 2007, after other family members had moved away from my hometown of Dubuque, Iowa, my mother, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s six years earlier, was alone there in a nursing home. As I was making plans to move from Boston to Iowa to be Mom’s companion and advocate, well-meaning friends and colleagues said to me: “I can’t believe you would even consider disrupting your life – and move 1000 miles away – to take care of a person who doesn’t even remember who you are. I replied, “Well, I still remember who she is. And who she is needs me now more than ever before.”

As I spent more time with Mom and her neighbors in the nursing home, I began to question the premise that people with Alzheimer’s do not remember their loved ones. Through my eyes, I witnessed the nursing home residents reacting when their children, siblings, spouses, friends, and cherished caregivers came for visits. As soon as they noticed their loved ones approaching, smiles could burst out on their faces; a corner of their mouths could slightly curl; their eyes could light up; their hands could reach out.

Peggy was Mom’s next-door neighbor. Her husband had been away for the winter and although they spoke on the phone, she had not seen him for six months. The first day he returned, he respectfully greeted her, asking if he could hug her. She hesitated, but cautiously agreed. He then took her out for lunch. When they returned, he kissed her goodbye and left her at the nurses’ station. With a dreamy gleam in her eye that resembled a teenager in love, she shouted out to everyone, “I’m going to marry that man!” She did not remember that he was already her husband, but something in her recognized that they belonged together.

Perhaps her spirit recognized his spirit. That’s what I felt was happening with Mom & me. One day shortly after I moved, I came into Mom’s room and she stopped what she was doing. She looked at me – really looked at me. Then she said, “You. You. It’s you!” It was a moment of pure recognition and belonging, even if she was not exactly clear about the relationship between us.

My Mom’s diagnosis and her predictable decline called for me to overcome my fearful reactions about Alzheimer’s and to become my best self. Alzheimer’s disease has challenged me mightily, and stirred up plenty of uncomfortable feelings. But I chose to go very close to this illness and to stay with my mom forever. The result of those choices became an unexpected and precious love story that will be mine for the rest of my life.

If we look beneath the losses of memory and cognitive and motor abilities, we may be surprised to see that persons with Alzheimer’s can still show us the true value of life – theirs AND ours. In their unending capacity to give and receive love, persons with Alzheimer’s reveal to us the truth about what it means to be a human being. This truth is so beautifully expressed in the words of St. Teresa of Avila: “The important thing is not to think much, but to love much.”

Prayer: Holy Spirit, sustain us, please, as we care for our loved ones with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Help us to soften our hearts, and to see them through the holy eyes of one who seeks God in every corner of life. Amen

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Jan 28

T-Mobile Wins The Quarter

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AT&T, Verizon, Sprint Maintain Customer Bases

Consumer Intelligence Research Partners (CIRP) released analysis of the results from its research on mobile phone companies for the calendar quarter that ended December 31, 2014. This analysis features findings about consumer trends in mobile phone activations from October-December, 2014 for AT&T (T), Verizon (VZ), Sprint (S), and T-Mobile (TMUS).

CIRP finds that among major mobile phone companies, T-Mobile had the best quarter, combining retention of existing customers and gaining new customers from other carriers.

Based on our analysis of customer activations, we identify customers that renewed contracts with a previous mobile carrier, customers that switched carriers, and first-time mobile phone buyers. This analysis shows that among customers that activated a phone during the quarter, T-Mobile grew its customer base 29%, relative to the number of customers that started the quarter as T-Mobile customers (Chart 1).

Chart 1: Carrier Share of Phone Activators at Start and End of Q4-2014
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We take a quarterly view of loyalty and churn, focusing on customers who activate a phone within the quarter. T-Mobile started the quarter with 10% of the consumers in our quarterly survey of phone activators, and ended the quarter with 13%. This 29% increase in share of this quarter’s phone activators is consistent with the recent T-Mobile announcement that they added about two million customers. Based on these shares of customers retained and switching during the quarter, we estimate that Verizon had the next largest number of customer additions came at about 1.1 million. The other large national carriers each added under 1 million customers.

Change in share for the quarter consists of customers that switched to or started with a carrier, minus those that switched away from that carrier. T-Mobile attracted new customers equal to 39% of the phone-activating customers it had at the start of the quarter. T-Mobile also lost 18% of its customers that activated a phone during the quarter. T-Mobile also attracted first-time phone buyers equal to 8% of its customers at the start of the quarter (Table 1).

Table 1: Customer Gains and Losses by Carrier – Q4 2014
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AT&T had the most loyal customers, retaining 88% of those that activated a phone during the quarter. However, AT&T did not attract as many new customers as a percent of their base at the beginning of the quarter. Relative to its base, T-Mobile attracted the highest percentage of new customers in the quarter, though they also a greater percentage of existing customers than Verizon and AT&T.

While the four leading carriers do trade customers, as a group most of their growth comes at the expense of regional and pre-paid carriers,” said Levin. “The regional and pre-paid carriers retained a much smaller percentage of their customer base, and attracted a smaller percentage of new customers from other carriers, as well.

CIRP bases its findings on a survey of 500 US subjects, from January 1-13, 2015, that activated a new or used phone in the October-December 2014 period. For additional information, please contact CIRP.

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Jan 28

10 Ways Blizzards Are Good for Your Love Life

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It’s Snowmegeddon! Batten down the hatches! Get the gas for the generators! Scratch the eyes out of the mom at the grocery store grabbing the last of the organic milk! And then take a deep breath, relax and look at the beautiful snow from another perspective: namely, from a place of love. Here are 10 blizzard-inspired behaviors that can have a potentially positive effect on your romantic relationship:

  1. Cozying up by the fire: If you’ve got a fireplace, there’s no better time to build a fire. And what’s more romantic than a roaring, crackling fire? A thousand cheesy movie love scenes can’t be wrong. Bear skin rug optional; bare skin…ideal.
  2. Nipping whiskey to warm up: It’ll bring a flush to your cheeks, reminiscent of the rosy cheeks you get in, shall we say, other ways. And a little loosening of inhibitions — in moderation, of course — might inspire those “other ways.”
  3. Snuggling under the blankets to share body heat: According to one health site, to avoid hypothermia “remove your clothing and lie next to the person, making skin-to-skin contact. Then cover both bodies with a blanket.” Hey, that’s official medical advice, people!
  4. Winter montages: Building a snowman together, having a snowball fight, drinking hot chocolate, looking adorable in matching woolen hats — it’s like your life is suddenly a rom-com montage! How can you not feel the love?
  5. Power outages mean mood-enhancing candlelight: As with a roaring fire, “natural” light = instant romance, mainly for its flattering affects on your appearance: almost all bodily flaws are forgiven by firelight. Power outages may mean no TV, too — in which case, you’ll just have to make your own entertainment. Hmmm, we wonder how you could do that?
  6. Eskimo kisses: Touching skin that you don’t normally touch can be novel. New nerves are awakened. Use the eskimo kiss to inspire other kinds of untraditional and unexpected touching, if you know what we mean.
  7. Long, hot baths: With nowhere to go when you’re snowed in, there’s no need to rush through a quick shower. Draw a hot bath, add some bubbles or aromatic oils, bring in some candles (even if there’s no power outage), and invite your partner to join.
  8. Post-shoveling massages: Yes, digging out is not only a drag, it can be dangerous: sore muscles, thrown-out backs, even heart attacks. But if you do any heavy lifting and make it back inside safe and sound, you are definitely within your rights to pull the pity card and request a rub down.
  9. Cancelled work = instant mini-staycation: (Please note: This is for the kid-free only.) With the world basically shut down and all responsibilities temporarily put on hold, you can sleep in, watch movies in bed, and have sex in the middle of the day just like you do on vacation. And the sex is always better on vacation.

  10. Stockholm-Syndrome-Lite. Forced to essentially be each other’s captives for an indeterminate amount of time, you just might fall in love all over again (if you don’t kill each other first).

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Jan 28

Two Islams Are Better Than One

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The Paris attacks reignited the debate over the relationship between Islam and violence. On the one hand, the Obama Administration stresses that terrorism has nothing to do with Islam. Secretary of State John Kerry recently said that “the biggest error we could make would be to blame Muslims for crimes…that their faith utterly rejects” and thus “fuel the very fires that we want to put out.” Kerry is echoing statements by President Obama (and Bush before him) that Islam is a religion of peace. And former NBA star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar opined that such terrorists are “thugs disguising themselves as Muslims” who “act against the very religion they claim to believe in.”

On the other hand, conservative commentators blast the White House for trying to disassociate Islam from terrorism. The National Review‘s Rich Lowry accused the White House of promoting “a haze of euphemism and cowardice” for avoiding terms like radical Islam. Even Tom Friedman chimed in to support Lowry’s point in an editorial entitled “Say It Like It Is.” And other governments have been less political in their own public statements, with British PM David Cameron, for example, speaking of the “very serious Islamist extremist terrorist threat.”

This is a false debate. Islam, like Christianity or Judaism, is neither a violent nor a peaceful religion, but contains texts that legitimate both! Muslims seeking to justify violence will cite the Quran’s exhortation to “Slay the idolaters wheresoever you find them,” (9:5) and the Hadith, or saying of the Prophet, that “I have been commanded to fight against people so long as they do not declare that there is no god but Allah” (Muslim 1.9.30). Yet those rejecting violence will point to the lines “There is no compulsion in religion” (2:256) and “And do not take any human being’s life – that God willed to be sacred – other than in [the pursuit of] justice” (17:33). Some lines preach tolerance, such as “If God had pleased He surely could have made you one people (professing one faith),” (5:48) and “O you unbelievers, I do not worship what you worship, nor do you worship who I worship… to you your way and to me mine,” (109:1-6). When Muhammad exclaims, “Oh Lord, these are certainly a people who do not believe,” Allah responds to him, “Turn away from them and say: ‘Peace'” (43:88-89). Yet others are clearly intolerant: “Say unto those who disbelieve: Ye shall be overcome and gathered unto Hell, an evil resting-place.” (3:12) and “O ye who believe! Take not the Jews and the Christians for friends” (5:51) come to mind. This ambiguity is captured in the word “jihad,” a term which literally means “struggle,” but is interpreted by some as holy war, and others as a spiritual struggle towards self-improvement.

Other religious texts are just as open to interpretation. In the New Testament, Jesus calls on his followers to “turn the other cheek,” (Matthew 5:38-39) yet returns as a wrathful conqueror to “strike down the nations” with a “sharp sword” (Revelation 19:15). In the Old Testament, God’s people are ordered not to “let anything that breathes remain alive” in the towns of their enemies, but rather to “annihilate them” (Deuteronomy 20:16-18), while taking vengeance “an eye for an eye” (Exodus 21:24). Yet Jews may also invoke pacifistic passages, such as that under God’s law “they shall beat their swords into plowshares […] nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war” (Isaiah 2:4; c.f. Micah 4:3).

In short, we best recognize that Islam, like other major religions, lends itself both to support violence and to curb it. Unless we recognize the difference, we either err in losing the support of moderate Muslims by labeling all Islam as fodder for terrorists, or–we overlook the ill effects of violent Islam by pretending that it is all a religion of peace.

Amitai Etzioni is a University Professor and professor of international relations at The George Washington University. His latest book, The New Normal, was released in November by Transaction Publishers. You can follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube. Send an email to icps@gwu.edu to subscribe to his monthly newsletter.

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Jan 28

HTC One M8 Lollipop update released in Europe

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lollipopThis morning Euro lovers of the HTC One M8 will be seeing an update to their smartphones in the form of Google’s newest candy: Lollipop. This update has been released now to the developer version of the device, the Google Play edition of the device, and to those willing to hack their device to bring that bit of software to … Continue reading

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Jan 28

Apple Rides iPhone 6 and 6 Plus To Strong Quarter

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Samsung Loses Some Share To LG

Consumer Intelligence Research Partners (CIRP) released analysis of the results of its research on mobile phone manufacturers for the calendar quarter that ended December 31, 2014. This analysis features findings about consumer trends in mobile phones in the US from October-December 2014.

CIRP finds that among the major phone brands, Apple had the largest share of the US market, with half of all phone sales (Chart 1).

Chart 1: Phone Brand Share of Activations Q4-2014
2015-01-28-chart2.jpg

The strength of the September 2014 launch of the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus fueled Apple’s dominance in US mobile phone sales this quarter. Apple had virtually double the sales of Samsung, and five times that of LG. No other brand accounted for as much as 5% of US sales. The Amazon Fire and Blackberry smartphones registered slight share, which we attribute to random sample fluctuation as much as actual sales.

Because of the iPhone launch, Apple increased its share considerably over the 28% in the July-September quarter. For most of the earlier quarter, buyers held off buying Apple phones in anticipation of the launch. Apple also increased its share slightly from the October-December 2013 quarter, when it had 48% of sales. More telling, Samsung saw its share fall from 31% in the October-December 2013 quarter, evidently giving up sales to LG, whose share increased from 8% in the October-December 2013 quarter.

By every measure, Apple’s 2014 phone launch was a success. iPhones drew from loyal Apple customers, with 86% of buyers upgrading from an older iPhone. Samsung and LG saw far lower loyalty rates, with 25% of Samsung owners and 18% of LG owners who activated a phone in the quarter switching to an iPhone.

CIRP bases its findings on a survey of 500 US subjects, from December 27, 2014-January 5, 2015 that activated a new or used phone in the October-December 2014 period. For additional information, please contact CIRP.

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Jan 28

Boston Yeti Roams Snowy Streets, Assures People 'I'm A Vegan'

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Leave it to a legendary creature to take New Englanders’ minds off the bad weather and Deflategate.

Thanks, Boston Yeti.

A tall someone dressed in a Sasquatch-like costume hit the streets around Boston Monday during the early hours of a snowstorm, the Boston Globe and other outlets reported.

Naturally, the Yeti has its very own Twitter account, with nearly 6,000 followers.

As sightings and reports of the beast multiplied, many messaged their approval to Boston Yeti — perhaps relieved that this urban abominable snowman wouldn’t eat them.

“I’m a vegan,” the Yeti told Boston Magazine, explaining that he or she is just “Trying to make as many people smile as possible.”

Check out some of Boston Yeti’s adventures below.

H/T WPTV

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Jan 28

Aliens Xenomorph Queen Action Figure: Game Over, Man!

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One of the scariest science fiction movies I ever watched was Alien and its spin-offs were scary as well. Those Xenomorphs are creepy and hard to kill. The queen alien was the scariest of them all and if you are a big fan of the movies, you will want this action figure.

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ThinkGeek is selling this ultra-detailed Aliens Xenomorph Queen boxed action figure. This action figure is about 15-inches tall and 40-inches long from head to the tip of its bony tail. The action figure has 30 points of articulation and is in scale with other Aliens action figures from the same maker. It also ships with two different inner mouths. Creepy.

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You can pick one of these up for $119.99(USD). I hope they make an action figure of Ripley in the big loader exosuit to battle the angry queen.

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Jan 28

Warning: CEO Of Elite Dating Site Can Ban You Douchebags For Life

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Amanda Bradford just launched a dating app called The League, which is designed to be used by beautiful, ambitious, intelligent people — you know who you are! — while keeping out the riffraff. Are you in our league? No surprise that some people find this app silly. Or sad. Or offensive. But don’t you dare point that out, because Amanda Bradford does not tolerate haters and will use her algorithm to ban you from The League, forever.

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Jan 28

Parks and Rec's Fake Future Facebook Is Disconcertingly Plausible

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Parks and Rec jumped a few years into the future for its last season, and that jump has mostly manifested in holographic tablets . Last night’s episode, however, took on the more in-depth subject of data-mining pretty seriously, and with characteristically goofy wit. It’s just a liiittle too realistic though.

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