Hasta La Gadget!

Imagine you’re speaking on the phone several times a day and want to make certain you’ve got every conversation recorded for posterity. Do you hit the “record” button on your smartphone every time you make a call? Or do you rely on a 3rd-party device to hold up to your phone to record what’s being said? There’s a device by … Continue reading

This week the folks at NASA, SpaceX, and Boeing presented a new program for their combined efforts to continue sending astronauts to the International Space Station. This Commercial Crew Transportation system will be operating under the title Launch America. This system is working with both SpaceX and Boeing, both private organizations, to bring the cost of sending US-based astronauts down … Continue reading

WASHINGTON — Sen. Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) plans to take to the Senate floor every day this week to share the stories of young undocumented immigrants who came to the U.S. as children. His challenge to Republicans: Are these really the people you want to deport?

House Republicans voted earlier this month on a bill to fund the Department of Homeland Security that would block President Barack Obama’s executive actions on immigration. Obama’s policies could provide temporary work authorization and the ability to stay in the U.S. for up to 5 million people. Among those who will be helped by the president’s actions are so-called Dreamers, the unauthorized immigrants who have been in the U.S. since they were kids, and currently can apply to stay and work in the country under the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals policy.

The House’s DHS funding bill includes an amendment blocking DACA recipients from renewing their status, which they must do every two years. Some Republicans argue DHS should only receive funding if DACA and a similar program for parents of U.S. citizens and legal permanent residents are ended — something the White House has said it won’t approve, and something Durbin vehemently opposes.

“It is shameless to play politics with the lives of these young people, who grew up in this country and know no other home,” Durbin said on the Senate floor. “It is just as shameless for House Republicans to put homeland security funding at risk to pursue their radical agenda.”

If Republicans did succeed in ending DACA, more than half a million Dreamers who currently have the program’s protections would be back at risk of deportation.

Durbin, the second highest-ranking Democrat in the Senate, authored the DREAM Act, a bill first introduced in 2001 that seeks to allow Dreamers to gain legal status and eventual citizenship. He has been going to the Senate floor for years to make the case for these young people, but this week, his office says he’s ramping it up and will speak every day.

On Tuesday, Durbin brought a picture of Ola Kaso, who came to the U.S. from Albania in 1998 as a five-year-old. She is set to graduate from college later this year and hopes to eventually go to medical school and become an oncologist, Durbin said.

“If the House Republicans have their way and we pass in the Senate the language which was included as part of the Department of Homeland Security appropriation bill, Ola Kaso will never have a chance,” he said. “She will be deported back to Albania, a country she really doesn’t know at all. She will be forced to leave the United States. We will basically give up on the investment we’ve made as Americans in her education and her potential and tell her, ‘leave.'”

“If you can’t study, then go marry a rich man.”

These were the words engrained in my head since I was young.

I was unconsciously brain washed to think that I was nothing without a man and I needed a man to fund my dreams.

When I was a love coach, women would tell me that they need a man not want a man. Because they felt that there was something wrong with them if they were not in a relationship by a certain age.

I feel that there’s no need to fight for gender equality when we treat men and women as human beings.

Notice how we don’t label the baby as he or she but rather we use “it” to describe a baby.

That means we were treated equally as a baby.

Then how is it that we, as women, were raised to bring our husband’s slippers when he returned from work or we had to sacrifice our happiness for our children?

This may be the fact in 1947 but not, as modern women, we have a choice and it’s up to us to take that power back.

Yes, we may be daughters, sisters, wives and mothers but that doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice and give up on our dreams and happiness.

There’s a difference between being a filial daughter, loving wife and a responsible mother.

I have learned that trust and respect is earned and not demanded. So if you desire to live the life you desire, you must be the woman you were born to be.

Here’s what you need to stop doing right now:

• Stop acting like a victim.
• Don’t be clingy/needy.
• No more whining and complaining.
• Stay away from gossips.

A woman who’s going after her dreams like her hair is on fire can take up as much space in the world and make as much noise as she wants.

When a woman succeeds, she gives another woman the permission to succeed as well.

How to be the woman you were born to be?

You have to think like a man and act like a woman.

Sometimes as a power woman, we forget that we’re a woman and we end up behaving like a man. And as a result we forget to look and feel beautiful.

On the other hand, when we allow ourselves to be that needy girlfriend/wife, we give our power to our man and become helpless.

Either ways, that’s not how a woman is meant to live out her life.

Here are five tips to be a happy, healthy and wealthy woman:

1. Learn to make decisions on your own.

There’s no such thing as a wrong decision. You made the decision from the place that you knew was best for yourself.

Every result, whether good or bad, is just an experience.

2. Be responsible for your results.

When you take responsibility for the results that you don’t want, that means, you have the power to create the results you want.

3. Find a female role model to look up to.

Success does leave footprints. Don’t just follow their success path now but read up on their journey and learn how and what they did to overcome their obstacles and stay on course.

4. Embark on your personal development journey and never stop learning.

There’s new information churning out daily so if you stop learning, you stop growing and you’ll find yourself obsolete very soon.

5. Surround yourself with positive people who will lift you higher.

Your environment can break you or make you. As Zig Ziglar said, “You’re the average of the 5 people you hang out with.” Therefore, you’ll make the average income of the 5 people you hang out with as well.

Besides hanging out with positive people and go-getters, surround yourself with beauty as well.
Last but not the least, love yourself.

When I say, love yourself, I’m not talking about going for a shopping spree. I’m talking about honoring yourself. Taking care of your body.

A lot of women take their bodies for granted and treat their bodies as if it’s a foreign entity.

I would like to remind us all that, when we honor ourselves, we honor our creator.

And as a result, we can design the life we desire and be the woman we were born to be.

You’re Beautiful!

Much Love,
Elyse-Anne

The Academy Award-nominated movie Boyhood documents the development of Mason (Ellar Coltrane) from first grade to college. Filming over a span of 12 years, director Richard Linklater gamely captures the turmoil and triumphs of the everyday lives of boys.

Portraying everything from parents who married too young to an abusive stepfather who drank too much, the film offers a romping, behind-the-scenes look into families — with all of their love and all of their conflicts. It even captures the obligatory coming of age profile of a boy becoming a man, all the while making it feel genuine rather than superfluous, which seems to be the norm.

Taunted by older boys while drinking beer, Mason and his friends are challenged about their sexuality, masculinity and proclivity in securing sex. There’s a lot of bravado but also an undercurrent of uncertainty and push.

Realistic? You bet.

Children and teenagers know about sex, think about sex and act on their biological and psychological urges to try it — or to at least imagine trying it. Indeed, psychiatrist Lynn Ponton, M.D., in her book The Sex Lives of Teenagers: Revealing the Secret World of Adolescent Boys and Girls, made the case that sex is a fact of life for all young adults, even if only in fantasy.

Yet, despite the enlightenment of the 21st century, many boys struggle to define themselves as young men, battling age-old stereotypes that paint them primarily as testosterone-fueled missiles capable of entertaining only one thought at a time, all the time. While that boy may exist, it’s just as likely that many more endure puberty — earlier and earlier — with a combination of consternation, curiosity and downright confusion. If not over their own sexuality — though that is not uncommon — at least about the timing, mechanics and advisability of a first encounter.

That’s what makes the ferocity of conquest so troubling.

Peter, a high school sophomore, had sex with an older girl he hardly knew because he couldn’t tell his friends he refused her offer. Blair stated emphatically, “I must be the only 18-year-old on the planet who hasn’t had sex.” Robert, a senior, regretted having first intercourse with a girl he thought cared about him (she didn’t). Evan, 17, spoke about his fear of flying on family vacations, risking dying in a crash while still a virgin. And Rich, a freshman, had sex with a girl simply to get his lacrosse teammates off his back.

The pressure to have sex as soon, and as often, as possible comes from the personal internalization of societal norms, from peers and, surprisingly, sometimes from parents.

By seventh grade, Michael was feeling incredible pressure to have sex, much of it emanating from the role-modeling of his dad, who would come to implore his son to “have sex with as many girls as possible before settling down.” Michael started that summer knowing “absolutely nothing” about it. Max, 14, was experiencing a different kind of pressure. “I knew I really wanted to lose my virginity. But my body was telling me to have sex with a guy while my brain was telling me I needed to do the opposite.” He was too afraid to approach his parents – or anyone else – about his conflicted feelings, and he chose a boy.

Andrew Smiler, Ph.D, in his book Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male, points to a culturally based image of boys as just wanting sex as opposed to relationships and says that any behavior “no matter how rude, crude, risky, or destructive” is acceptable if it results in sex. Conversely, he argues that most boys and young men actually want to be in relationships. For example, in a teen focus group 13-year-old Bryan said of sex, “I just want to do it all at once and get it over with so I can focus on having a relationship.”

Ultimately, in Boyhood, Mason finds just such a meaningful relationship.

Learning about sex in the context of relationships is important, but facing the enduring claim of culture, boys may actually abandon them to expeditiously achieve manhood.

It seems clear that boys are struggling and need some help.

All children and young adults benefit from open, honest dialogue about sex with the caring adults in their lives. Unfortunately, Smiler reports that those conversations are not happening as often as we may think. “Surveys of high school students and undergraduates tell us that only about half of American youth hear ‘the talk,'” says Smiler. He also reports that girls are more likely than boys to say they’ve had a conversation with a parent about sex and that many parents find it awkward to raise the topic with their sons.

No surprise there.

However, as difficult as that dialogue can be, it is important. Fortunately, there are mountains of online resources, including kidsinthehouse.com and healthychildren.org, to aid nervous adults. There are also mainstream media depictions of emerging sexuality and sexual decision-making that can serve as a jumping off point for important conversations with kids about sex.

Including boys.

*Names of the non-professionals referenced have been changed for privacy reasons.

REFERENCES

Ponton, L. (2000). The sex lives of teenagers: revealing the secret world of adolescent boys and girls. New York: Dutton. 2000. http://lynnponton.com/2009/09/the-sex-lives-of-teenagers/ (20 Jan. 2015).

Smiler, A. (2012). Challenging casanova: beyond the stereotype of the promiscuous young male. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass. 2012. http://challengingcasanova.com (20 Jan. 2015).

Steinmetz, K. (2014). Everything you need to know about the making of “Boyhood” over twelve years. Time. July 11, 2014. http://time.com/2974681/boyhood-movie-making-of-richard-linklater/ (20 Jan. 2015).