Quite a few products you use in everyday life have smart counterparts, and now the long-standing skipping rope (also called a jump rope) is counted among them. Sophia is a new smart skipping rope designed for fitness enthusiasts who want easily accessible data on their workouts, something facilitated by the smart technology integrated into the jump rope’s handles. Some information … Continue reading
If you often tote a camera around with your laptop or other gear, you know the hassles that can arise — you have to make sure everything you need not only fits, but fits safely, and though there are camera compartments available that can be put inside existing backpacks, they’re not always the best fit. Enter Brevite, a backpack designed … Continue reading
In 2007, “Spygate” happened when the New England Patriots head coach, Bill Belichick, was fined $500,000, and the Patriots organization an additional $250,000, by the NFL for videotaping opposition coaches’ signals against the rules. Scuttlebutt was that it wasn’t an isolated incident. This year, former pro quarterback Kurt Warner was still ruminating over Spygate and whether or not it factored into the Patriots beating his St. Louis Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. While Warner wouldn’t say he thought the Pats cheated, his extensive I-don’t-really-think-so-but-I’m-not-quite-sure explanation included: “It adds a sliver of doubt … I don’t want to have to wonder … That’s the unfortunate part that I don’t think you’ll ever get over, because you know something was done outside the rules … I don’t know if it gave them an advantage … Or gave them no advantage. I don’t know.”
Now, in 2015, it’s Deflategate. The NFL is investigating whether, during the playoff game to decide which team would meet the Seahawks in the Super Bowl, the Patriots played with deliberately under-inflated footballs. The conventional wisdom is that under-inflated footballs are easier to grip and handle during the cold and rainy conditions on the field that day against the Indianapolis Colts. Again, it appears this wasn’t the first time for the Pats, with both the Colts and the Baltimore Ravens taking their suspicions of under-inflated footballs to the NFL earlier in the regular season. Ironically, in 2006, Pats quarterback, Tom Brady, and Denver Colts quarterback, Peyton Manning, convinced the NFL to allow visiting teams to use their own footballs, which used to be supplied by the home team. Brady said back then, “The thing is, every quarterback likes it a little bit different. Some like them blown up a little bit more, some like them a little more thin, some like them a little more new, some like them really broken in.”
Seattle Seahawks head coach, Pete Carroll, chimed in with support for Belichick’s statement that he had no information about a violation and the footballs, after all, were really Tom Brady’s business. Carroll likewise expressed ignorance, saying, “I hadn’t checked on the whole process of how our footballs were handled until this week … but I know every step of it now.” And so do the rest of us. I now know that NFL footballs are supposed to be inflated to between 12.5 and 13.5 psi.
As a therapist and sports fan, I can’t help noticing the parallels between life and sports that serendipitous events throw my way. There are some who say that the psi of footballs didn’t factor into the 45-7 win of the Patriots over the Colts. There are others, like the 40,000+ people who signed a Change.org petition to “immediately disqualify Patriots and replay the AFC Championship between the Colts and Raven,” who think it did.
What if the footballs hadn’t been deflated? Would the Colts have won? What if the Pats hadn’t videotaped opposition coaches years ago? Would the Rams have won? In Green Bay, Packers fans are probably still working through their own devastating “what ifs.” What if Marshawn Lynch hadn’t scored that touchdown with 1:25 left to play? What if the Packers had won the overtime toss? What if Jermaine Kearse hadn’t caught the final throw from Russell Wilson?
That’s the power of what ifs — their capacity to create never-ending questions. Never-ending questions can rob you of a sense of closure and, robbed of closure, people find it difficult to move on. When people find it difficult to move on, they become trapped in a quasi reality of almost-was. Too many people I work with in therapy live in this almost, not-quite, just-out -of-reach world, unable to move forward because they’re stuck wondering about the past.
In sports, what ifs make great commentary but, in life, they’re a lousy place to live.
On Feb. 12, 2008, Imad Mughniyah, Hezbollah’s international operations chief, walked on a quiet nighttime street in Damascus after dinner at a nearby restaurant. Not far away, a team of CIA spotters in the Syrian capital was tracking his movements.
I often hear “think positive and everything will work out.” We may tell ourselves to think positive and say lots of positive affirmations and yes, sometimes this positive attitude does in fact create an energy that will bring us to the next right place. However, if we are not in tune with what our subconscious beliefs are, we will find ourselves spinning in circles and continue to create the same unwanted results over and over again.
Attempting to just think positive can keep us feeling like we are stuck in a spin cycle because under these thoughts and happy demeanor, something is lurking around in the dark and until we are willing to shine a bright light on it, it will continue to direct our lives. This “something” is called our Ego. It is the voice that hangs out in our head and sends us messages all day long. The truth is our Ego is a wonderful part of us and without it we wouldn’t be able to live out this glorious human experience. What is also true is that when left unchecked, it can lead us down a path where we can find ourselves asking, “How the heck did I end up here?” I like to think that when we ask this powerful question, our ego has done its job well. It means we just might be ready to commit to taking a deep dive within and discover all that our soul is really calling forth in us.
So what does this little guy sound like? Since mine feels masculine, I’m going to refer to it as a “he.” Yours may feel different, but what’s really important is that you become very familiar with what yours is telling you. The first thing to know is that he’s loud, persistent and very repetitive. He will compare us to the world and tell us we are too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too stupid or too smart. He might tell us that we must try hard to be the best or not try at all. He might tell us to out shine everyone or that it’s safer to stay small and fit in so that we don’t shine at all. He may tell us to shut our mouth when we know we really want to speak up or to speak up when it’s really best to be silent. He will keep us experiencing scarcity because we aren’t worthy or he may tell us to make lots of money because only then will we finally feel good enough. He keeps us in jobs and relationships that drain our life force. He tells us we can’t have what we really want so it’s better to settle for what is in front of us. He tells us we will never be good enough so we give up before we even try or he may even tell us that we are fine just the way we are and so there is never any need for growth and learning. Oh, yes, he’s a sneaky little fella. He keeps us pointing the finger outward and makes everyone else wrong so we never have to look within. He convinces us that we are the problem and that we will never “get it right.” He tells us that once we get “there” we will be happy. If we could just find our soul mate, get married, have children, buy that house or get that next big break then all will be well.
It is the voice that always speaks loudest. It is demanding and righteous and believes what it wants to believe all in an effort to keep us feeling safe, small, comfortable, important, protected etc. He keeps us playing the role of the victim. He keeps us standing on the sidelines of life rather than playing life full out. He attempts to keep us from knowing and fulfilling our dharma.
Because he has been in the driver’s seat for so long, it is impossible to slap positive thinking over him and pretend that he doesn’t exist. It just doesn’t work. This is like asking someone who just broke a leg to stand up and walk. We must take the time to look at the wound and heal it properly before we can stand tall again. The same applies to our mind. We must take the time to identify our limited thoughts and beliefs and see them for what they are, tend to the wounds and heal by turning inward. We must give ourselves the love that is already within us instead of attempting to go out and “get it” from outside sources and addictions.
So how do we begin to actually do this?
First and foremost… it is important to know that we already have all we need within us to bring these limiting thoughts out of the dark corners of our mind and shine a light on them. The intention is never to “get rid” of them. The intention is to get to know them, befriend them, accept, love and integrate them in a way that empowers us. How do I know this for sure? I couldn’t write in this manner if I didn’t have a daily practice of loving and accepting my ego thought patterns. He just wouldn’t allow me to do so. The key is that we learn how to get behind the wheel and begin to guide the Ego rather than allowing the Ego to guide us.
The following are three powerful steps to embracing your Ego so that you can step into the driver’s seat of your life.
Step 1 — Want Change More Than Anything Else. We must have a deep willingness to take responsibility for who we are from the inside out. We must commit to observing and paying close attention to the messages that our Ego is telling us. Ignoring and denying that they are there is what keeps them stuck in a repetitive pattern. The more we are willing to hear these messages and face them head on, the more we come to see that we don’t actually have to believe in them. The ego’s messages are never true. We believe they are true because we are familiar with them. They make us feel comfortable and they have become our identity. Who would we be without them? That is a question that creates a lot of uncertainty and that is exactly the door that we want to open if we wish to create real change. We don’t have to know that answer immediately, but we do have to be willing to notice and question our thoughts rather than continue to buy into them. If you are unsure if they are egoic thought patterns, just continue to check in with your feelings. When we are in a low energetic state, you can be sure your ego is doing some serious talking. This low vibrational state exists because we are buying into thought patterns that aren’t serving us. These thoughts are not who we are. They are old stories that may have once protected us and served us in our past, but today continue to sabotage us and keep us from living fully in the present. We must have the knowing that these old stories can be transmuted.
Step 2 — Forgive your Thinking. When you notice your egoic thought patterns, repeat this affirmation. “I see you. I hear you. I forgive you. I release you.” A simple phrase can create powerful shifts in our awareness. Forgiving our thinking means continuously forgiving ourselves for having these thoughts. It means accepting, embracing and loving our thoughts rather than denying them, making them wrong and criticizing them. It means fully owning all of what we are thinking and feeling in every moment and knowing that we have a choice to either beat ourselves up over it or to forgive and release these patterns. Forgiveness opens the doorway to conscious choice and helps us to see that we get to choose if we want to keep a feeling, thought, or behavior or if we want to release it.
Step 3 — Love the Ego. Loving our Ego means accepting it for all that it is. We must treat it with respect. We must nurture it, see it, listen to it, converse with it, and question it. The more we engage with it, honor it and love it, the more room the voice of our truth has room to come forward and guide us. The voice of our truth will naturally send us affirmations that will uplift, inspire and encourage us on our path. We won’t need to force or make up affirmations in our mind in order to feel good. We will already feel good from embracing and loving our “negative” mind.
Committing to these steps opens the doorway to our natural intuition. Affirming “positive” thoughts must come natural and works best when we are already in alignment with knowing that we are enough not when we are striving to get to a place of feeling like we are enough. The way to reach this place of alignment, clarity and truth is to love and embrace ALL of who we, are especially the parts of us that are hiding and we most resist looking at. That is the sweet spot and where the real miracles happen.
New Year’s resolutions are beginning to wane, and you’re probably sick being told to eat your vegetables and dust off the yoga mat. If change were as easy as the average article says it is, then therapists like me would be out of a job. Change is a billion dollar industry that everyone and no one seems to have figured out.
When I find a rhythm with exercise or spinach munching, I always seem to burn out in a blaze of TV binge-watching or a rekindled romance with the Domino’s tracker app. Winter is never great time for big alterations in habit, with our energy levels as short as the day is long. And lo, Girl Scout cookie season looms on the horizon like a monster ready to devour every good intension we had on Jan. 1.
As a self-improvement junkie, it took years for me to realize that beating myself up over the starts and stops was half the problem. And that half the solution was just focusing on the little things. We all know that baby steps are important when it comes to generating motivation, and that daunting habits are possible when they take a piggyback ride on the easier ones. So if you’re wondering what is the absolute minimum you can do to make the most difference, here are three simple minihacks to get your butt in gear.
1. Set a “Screens Off” alarm.
The Internet is a magical place. You say you’re going to shut down your laptop at 10pm and read a book like a real live adult, but all of sudden it’s 11:57 a.m. and that 19th BuzzFeed cat gif montage is somehow more appealing to you than being a productive citizen tomorrow. That little dopamine rush from a retweet or a Facebook “like” leaves us starring bleary eyed at our screens like that fabled research mouse who pushes the cocaine level until his head explodes.
We know how horrible screens are for the sleeping brain, but we all still do it anyway. Longitudinal terror has never been enough to motivate most people. Even I found myself advising clients to unplug and then going home and scrolling Tumblr into the wee hours.
Nothing worked until I decided to set an alarm for 9:30 p.m. Rather than call it a “Screens Off” alarm, I labeled it my “Be Proud” alarm. So every night when the alarm sounds, I take a few seconds to reflect on the day and what I’ve accomplished. And then I turn everything off. Rather than guilt, it’s that positive reinforcement that allows me to turn off my life and dive into a paperback before bed.
2. Hydrate like a goddess.
I used to call Diet Coke “the nectar of the Gods,” and I wasn’t joking. Instead of kicking the habit right away, I began to hydrate like a crazy woman. Drinking water is one of those no-brainer habits we dismiss because it almost seems too easy to be true. But the truth is that if you don’t know what hell you’re doing with your life, “I will hydrate like a goddess” is a pretty reassuring mantra.
Falling in love with water allowed me finally say goodbye to Diet Coke and other delicious aspartame-filled beverages. Who cares if all the scary theories about diet drinks are true? Water is the solution regardless. Whoever said toasting with water was bad luck was a damn fool, because it’s brought nothing but fortune into my life. My skin clears up, I sleep better, I save money, and my brain functioning improves when there’s water in the tank.
3. Stand up for god’s sake.
Turns out Sly and Family Stone were right when they sang, “You’ve been sitting for much too long.” Everyone’s been panicking about how a new study has confirmed that your butt can be a silent killer. Even if people exercise, excessive sitting hours make us more susceptible to heart problems, cancer, and diabetes. Yikes.
Maybe your boss isn’t too keen on you getting a standing desk for creeping on other people’s cubicles, but you can find small ways to go vertical throughout the day. I mean if you’re hydrating like a goddess, you’re going to have to go to the bathroom a lot anyway, right? CNN recommended that you stand up during commercial breaks, leaving Netflix and HBOGO folks scratching their heads. I try and stand when I’m blow drying my hair or riding the bus, or I have an impromptu dance party when my “Screens off” alarm wails at 9:30 p.m.
If you do nothing else in 2015, these minihacks can provide the momentum for rerouting your life. Small changes aren’t about immediate results. They’re about giving back to you a sense of control. Setting those first few dominos that will make the rest your bad habits tumble into oblivion. I can’t tell you what that first glass of water will build for you, but it’s setting the foundation for bigger things. I’m not even sure what small changes will gift to me in 2015. But I can tell you that when they happen, my butt won’t be planted in front of a hilarious cat gif.
Brrr, its cold outside!
These cold, grey winter days can send even the most positive people into a downward funk. Now that winter is truly upon us, what can you do to keep your spirits up? Here are five ways to be happier TODAY:
1. Start a gratitude list or journal. Concentrating on what you are thankful for in your life is a sure-fire way to feel better about yourself and improve your attitude. A few lines written in a journal is sufficient — I like to simply jot down something I am grateful for each day on my calendar. Don’t have pen and paper handy? That’s okay, you can also think about what you are grateful for — or even state it out loud. Once you get on a roll with this, it’s amazing how quickly you can turn complaints into gratefulness.
2. Do something you love. Take a few minutes out of your day to spend time on a project you enjoy, read a few pages of a book you love, or engage in an activity that brings you joy. It is so easy to get caught up in our crazy, busy schedules and “to-do” lists and then, before you know it, you are simply going through the motions of life instead of enjoying it. Taking a little time each day to fully engage in something that you love to do will increase your satisfaction in life and therefore increase your happiness.
3. Connect with others. Call a friend or family member to talk. Or better yet, meet someone you have fun spending time with for coffee or a bite to eat. Connecting with the people we love is a terrific way to feel happier about your life. After all, what’s better than reminding yourself of the people who love you and enjoying their company?
4. Exercise. Moving your body will help reduce stress, improve your health and make you feel better about yourself. Exercise is an underused happiness booster. When exercising, your body releases endorphins. I’m sure you have heard runners talk about a “runner’s high.” When they mention this, they are referencing this release of chemicals — those endorphins that create a surge of positivity.
5. Help someone else. This tip is a guaranteed way to feel happier. Help out at a shelter, pick out a toy or coat for a child in need, buy a drink for the person in line behind you at the coffee shop or even just offer a compliment and a smile to a harried store clerk. Have doubts that this will work? Give it a try — it’s simple and infectious.
Next time you find yourself feeling down, pick one of these ideas and go for it. Odds are good you’ll reap the benefits immediately with an increase in your happiness level regardless of the weather. Want to boost your happiness further? Incorporating some of these practices into your regularly weekly routine is a fantastic way to create an overall happier life.
We have waited long enough, and it’s finally here! The Super Bowl will grace our living rooms on Sunday with two teams who are sure to put on a spectacular show. Tom Brady has eaten his Wheaties (more likely quinoa and wheat berries) and Russell Wilson is all fired up for round two. The teams have fought hard to get to Sunday and we couldn’t be more excited!
Working out might not be on top of your list for Sunday, but a quick morning session will start your day off with a boost of energy and keep your metabolism working as efficiently as possible well into the evening. This workout can be done on a football field to get you in the mood!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOZ1vrla7iY&feature=youtu.be
For additional workouts, recipes and more please follow me on Twitter http://twitter.com/noratobin and checkout my blog http://noratobin.com
Have a great Super Bowl!
Many, many readers have asked that core question since Wednesday’s post:
You’re just done? Everyone? Chris and Patrick and the gang aren’t holding down the domain? We could learn to love them; they seem like smart, dedicated folks. They lack your endearingly fallible, sometimes hysterical, always entertaining voice, but give them a shot, a trial run, something.
If you’ve had to deal with a buried or stuck car over the past couple of snowy weeks, Nissan’s new Juke Nismo RSnow will look especially appealing: it ditches tires in favor of giant tank-like tracks instead, allowing it to blast through the powdered tundra without issue, bidding farewell to the slipping and sliding of traditional winter driving. This is … Continue reading
This is site is run by Sascha Endlicher, M.A., during ungodly late night hours. Wanna know more about him? Connect via Social Media by jumping to about.me/sascha.endlicher.
