Remember that internal review of Uber’s privacy practices the company announced back in November? It came at a time when the company was being slammed with negative press over comments made by Emil Michael, among other things, and aimed to help either point out areas that need improvement or put consumers’ fears to rest. Fast forward about two months, and … Continue reading
I’m From Driftwood is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit archive for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer stories. New stories are posted on the site every Wednesday.
The idea of a polyamorous relationship is probably shocking to a lot of people, but for Bob Lanning and his partner Don, who was often away for his job as an airline pilot, it was just the right thing to do:
In 1971, when I was managing a bar in San Diego, Keith came in — his ship was stationed down there — and he came in in uniform, and when I saw him walk through that door [with] his Dixie cup and white uniform, I said, “Oh, my god, I’m having that sailor.” … I asked Keith if he would be willing to try a threesome, and when Keith said yes, he would be willing, then we went to Don, and the three of us sat down and discussed if this might be a possibility, and Don said yes as well….
The three were able to live happily together for many years, each filling a different role within the home:
Don was the better cook of the three of us, though we all three cook. I like to clean, and I’m kind of anal about “Everything has to be neat, and everything has to be in order.” Keith would do the dishes after a dinner party, and I would set the table and put the flowers and invite the guests. We liked to dance, and we went to many clubs, we bowled, we traveled all over the United States, we had several trips to Europe. Don was at his best when we were out dining where he had a bottle of wine. That’s when he would start telling us stories, and even if we’d heard them before, we were drinking and eating too, so they held us … rapt.
Unfortunately, the relationship came to an end when Don was diagnosed with and eventually died from cancer, leaving Bob and Keith behind. Bob and Keith have continued their relationship since Don’s passing and now live together as a married couple:
We since then sold our house, and we got married, finally, because it was just the two of us. Having this relationship for all these years, both of the guys have taught me to accept more people for the way they are. We miss Don a lot to this very day. After 46 years it was like a lifetime, so we go on.
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The first thing you learn being in town during Super Bowl week is that this time of year makes everyone insane. There hasn’t been a single story—not a single shrug—that hasn’t been blown up into something massive since I got here.
There are some things you can’t share with strangers. But since we’re friends, I wanted to let you in on a little known fact concerning my sex life. It’s a strange thing, but not in a urinate-on-you kind of strange. It’s better described as peculiar. Nevertheless, I am going to share my secret, so here we go….
Wait for it….
My husband and I didn’t have sex before we got married.
Now, let’s clear the air. I am not asexual. I am not ugly. I don’t have body odor. And I am not a weirdo. (Feel free to insert any other fatal flaws that you can conjure up — they probably won’t apply.)
To clarify, I don’t trim my nose hairs and I don’t have a beard (please see bio photo.) I am a “normal,” smart, pretty, funny person with a lot to offer. So, it wasn’t like I paid my husband to date me. And I didn’t offer him stock to compensate for the fact that he wasn’t getting any action. Our decision to hold out for sex was mutual and actually something we worked towards together. We decided to wait for marriage to have sex for several reasons.
You should know that I am not in an arranged marriage nor do I belong to a cult. And for the record, I was not pressured by church leaders to reach this conclusion. I made a conscious decision — as an adult — to practice celibacy as I waited on “the one”.
I had previously been in relationships involving sex and following a string of mostly bad relationships, I was tired of approaching dating as usual.
After a broken heart and being on the verge of slashing a few tires, I was exhausted. So, I took a step back to evaluate. The outcome of that process was the decision to be celibate. During my celibacy journey, I carefully weeded out people who I knew I couldn’t have a lasting relationship with. I also rejected one night stands, hook ups and the like. I only entertained advances from people who were a potential suitor for marriage. And I openly shared my commitment to wait for marriage for sex. Once I made the choice to pursue celibacy, I grew in my Christian faith and it only reinforced my decision.
When I began dating my now-husband, I wasn’t sure how he would handle it, but he was on board, so together we waited to be sexually intimate. Was it hard? Absolutely. Was it possible? Absolutely. I’m grateful for our experience and it taught me about being true to yourself and holding fast to what you believe in. It was worthwhile because we walked that journey together and our marriage is better because of it.
So, allow me to dispel the final myth: You really don’t have to try it before you buy it. Contrary to popular belief, you don’t necessarily have to see the preview in order to enjoy a good movie. Sometimes, it’s ok to walk in eyes wide open and go along for the ride — literally. We live in a world where we are inundated with images and references to sex and one where sexual freedom is celebrated. In my previous relationships, I always felt compelled to have sex. Not solely because I wanted to, but at least in part, because I felt obligated to. So, not doing it actually felt liberating. I was free in a different way and this was empowering. I appreciated my experience and in case you are wondering… our sex life rocks these days! Thank you very much.
The Loft is a surprisingly entertaining film that keeps the audience in the dark as to its villain(s) until the very end. The fact the ending is logical and difficult to anticipate makes this movie an above average feature. There is also some solid acting from a cast not particularly known for the type of roles they are inhabiting.
The premise of the film is that five friends partner up to buy a loft where they can have complete privacy. Vincent (Karl Urban) is the man with the plan but his buddies Luke (Wentworth Miller), Marty (Eric Stonestreet) and Philip (Matthias Schoenaerts) eagerly commit to their share of payment and accept their keys. All of the men are married but this does not seem to be a problem except for Chris (James Marsden) who intends to be faithful to his wife (Rhona Mitra). His fidelity lasts until he meets Anne (Rachel Taylor) and falls completely in lust.
Now all five men are using the lift for their various trysts. Everything is going smoothly until one morning they discover a body in the bed. Since there is no sign of a break in and the alarm code has been entered they become suspicious of each other. Still all claim complete innocence, but in this film no one is who or what they claim to be.
Both Urban and Marsden have more screen time than the others so they could be considered the leads. However in this movie the supporting players get to have the meatier scenes. Stonestreet who is best known for his current role on Modern Family as Cameron, is a complete surprise here as the drunken, woman chasing Marty. Equally good is Miller, who once starred in the Fox series Prison Break. Here he is an intellectual and also a shy man.
The movie operates with a present day story interspersed with numerous flashbacks. In many movies this has proven to be an annoying way of telling a story and I generally prefer a linear approach. In this film, however, the back and forth storytelling works. Each flashback provides another peeling back of a layer of deception. There is one “aha” moment after another.
In The Loft movie the women are not the prominent players but Isabel Lucas and Taylor, who play Sarah and Anne, manage to make their presence known. Both are beautiful women and that adds to the validity of their roles.
The movie is rated R for violence, profanity and nudity.
The Loft arrived with little advance fanfare so it might not even be on your entertainment radar. If you like movies that keep you in the dark until the reveal then this is a movie you want to see. Believe me, it is so much better than you think it is going to be ,
I scored The Loft a high up 7 out of 10.
Jackie K. Cooper
In the early 1970s, Art Barker, a failed nightclub comic and recovering alcoholic in Florida, seized on an idea that he thought could help win the war on drugs: If peer pressure had spurred teenagers to use drugs, peer pressure could be used to get them off drugs.
It was not an original idea. Since the late 1950s, some adult addicts had been subjected to a punishing form of group therapy as part of their treatment. But Barker’s version was an all-day affair in which teens were ordered to berate each other. At night, they were locked up in foster homes. He called his program The Seed and the residents were “seedlings.”
While Barker received state and federal funding, as well as judicial praise, teenagers suffered horrific abuses that a Senate report later compared to North Korean brainwashing. Barker eventually fell out of favor, and the Seed closed — only to be reborn as Straight Inc. With many of the same staffers and even harsher sessions, it expanded to multiple states. It even had the backing of first lady Nancy Reagan.
In this Huffington Post audio feature, investigative reporter Jason Cherkis explores the stories of the kids who went through these programs and the parents who put them there.
Listen to “The Scars Of Teen Drug Treatment”:
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This audio feature was produced and edited by Ibrahim Balkhy with technical direction from Brad Shannon. It was part of a yearlong investigative report on treatment for heroin addicts in the United States.
For more audio from The Huffington Post, check out our SoundCloud page and subscribe to our podcasts on iTunes.
CLEVELAND (AP) — An amended wrongful death lawsuit over a Cleveland policeman’s fatal shooting of a 12-year-old boy includes claims related to his parents and sister and references to other use-of-force cases.
Tamir Rice had a pellet gun when he was confronted by police responding to a call about someone with a firearm near a recreation center on Nov. 22. The attorneys now representing his family filed the updated federal lawsuit Friday against the city, the officer who shot Tamir, another officer and unnamed emergency dispatchers.
The complaint alleges excessive force, negligence, infliction of emotional distress on his sister and mother, violation of due process for the parents, and failure by the responding officers to provide first aid to the boy immediately after the shooting. He died the next day.
It also claims false imprisonment of Tamir’s 14-year-old sister, who ran toward the scene after the shooting, struggled with police and was handcuffed and put into a cruiser parked near her wounded brother.
The city doesn’t comment on such pending litigation, Cleveland spokesman Dan Williams said.
Patrol officer Timothy Loehmann shot Tamir in the abdomen within two seconds of a patrol car stopping near the boy, and the confrontation was captured on surveillance video. It shows Tamir in a park carrying what turned out to be an airsoft-type gun that shoots non-lethal plastic pellets.
The person who called 911 with the initial report told a dispatcher that the apparent weapon was probably fake and that the subject was probably a juvenile, but the police union has said that information wasn’t relayed to the responding officers. Police say the weapon appeared to be real.
In the amended lawsuit, the family questions whether the rookie officer who fired at Tamir had first sufficiently ordered him to raise his hands and drop the weapon. The surveillance video doesn’t clarify that issue because it doesn’t include audio.
The Cuyahoga County sheriff’s department is investigating the shooting. A prosecutor has promised that a grand jury will consider whether criminal charges are merited.
This is the Orrb. The futuristic pod is just large enough for one human to sit and stare at a screen in total isolation for the sake of “wellness and learning.” It’s like one of those nap pods you might find at Google, only more private and, somehow, more alien-looking. You know you want one.
While we’re sure Google Earth works just fine for your daily virtual ’round-the-world travels, the Pro version comes with some really useful features — even better, it’s now completely free. Google Earth Pro, which used to cost an eye-watering $399 …
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