At CES — the world’s largest tech show — the intrepid reporter faces many challenges. Most of them involve sleep (lack of), nutrition (lack of), human beings (abundance of) and coffee (usually lack of, but often, taste of). As such, it’s very impo…
It used to be that a paltry 4Mbps down and 1Mbps was all it took for an internet connection to be considered “broadband,” but the Federal Communications Commission has just flipped that definition on its ear. FCC commissioners voted 3-2 in favor of u…
There are many causes for divorce. In my line of work I have seen them all. Reasons for divorce are a constant topic of discussion. You read about them in the media, and you see and hear them mulled over almost daily on “pour-your-heart-out” radio and television talk show segments.
And, since there is so much media coverage on this topic, you would think couples would become adequately educated as to the core causes of divorce. But, the ultimate reasons for splitting up are not nearly as important as what leads up to them. There are red flags–plenty of them–along the way, if a person is paying attention.
Having been a family law attorney for more than 25 years, and having heard countless stories–“reasons” for his or her divorce, I’m convinced that there are early indicators–yes, red flags. I have often thought: If only people had paid attention to those red flags, maybe they would not be in this predicament.
These flags are not necessarily the obvious and blatant in-your-face bombshells, like suddenly learning your spouse was/is having an affair or that your mate is physically abusive (domestic violence). The flags to which I’m referring are subtle, beneath-the-surface occurrences that turn into big issues–ones that if not addressed–can lead to the demise of the marriage.
I have listed my top five red flags. Here they are:
1. You stop communicating as openly: You have thoughts like I better not say that, or I’m not going to tell her that.! Or I better not share that flirtatious email from his/her best friend. You also stop communicating about little things, such as your irritation over her leaving her makeup strewn all over the bathroom counter top or him forgetting to take out the trash. Your avoidance of confrontations over these minor issues lead to bigger “withholds.” Over time, holding back certain thoughts and feelings that you once had no compunction about blurting out, spontaneously, are early indicators that the gap in communication will grow wider. Pulling back on communication is a vivid red flag.
2. You become more critical of one another: If you begin to pick on the little things like him blowing his nose too loudly, her sarcastically commenting, “You’re not going to wear that again, are you?” If you begin to degrade one another and do so regularly, you can be sure your relationship is going to hit the wall. Picking on each other can become a negative habit. A marriage fraught with constant criticism, from either or both parties, is clearly a crimson read flag.
3. Your begin to argue your point more vehemently: Whether it is over money (number one cause of divorce, not infidelity, as most people think); every day rules for the children to live by; where to go on vacation; or who should be responsible for what around the house…if winning an argument becomes more important than the dispute itself, you are actually vying for control. A need to dominate your partner, without the him/her indicating a willingness to acquiesce, is a neon red flag that flashes brightly. It signals: “This marriage is headed for disaster.” It is just a matter of time.
4. Your interest in intimacy has waned: If the passionate spark has gone out of your relationship, and neither of you seem to care all that much about sex, a red flag is waving. A healthy marriage includes a healthy sexual relationship. When time and/or interest in this facet of your relationship becomes less and less a priority, it becomes more and more a red flag and a sure signal that your union will most likely hit the rocks.
5. It has become increasingly more apparent that you have two different value systems: Whether you are polarized as to what religion to raise the children in; or one of you believes that work trumps attending an important family function, you have a problem. Through the course of every day activities, couples often find themselves at odds on what takes priority. It doesn’t mean one is right and the other wrong. It just throws out a red flag that screams Value Systems Do Not Align! Yes, there should always be give and take in any marriage, but when it becomes obvious that you have very divergent points of view on core beliefs and family values it is just a matter of time before the two of you go your separate ways.
Sadly, most of those I deal with every day say they did not have the savvy or insight to take action in the face of the above red flags (and many others) because they weren’t paying attention to them–that is, until it was too late. I’m a firm believer in being very observant during all phases of the dating stage to see if there are red flags and whether those flags are deal-breakers. I also believe that every couple tying the knot should seek pre-marriage counseling because there will always be conflicts and differences and you need to agree on how you will deal with them. In fact, I will go so far as to say that going through pre-marriage counseling should be a pre-requisite to qualifying for a marriage license.
My uncle killed by sniper in WW2. We were taught snipers were cowards. Will shoot u in the back. Snipers aren’t heroes. And invaders r worse
Moore’s tweet has been the focus of many headlines and a plethora of backlash. But, it highlights a subtle irony in American history that has often baffled me. When it comes to war, what is right and what is wrong? What is patriotic and what is excessive force?
While his comments are true in the fact that snipers were considered cowards in WWII, his timing to announce this on the opening day of American Sniper was not very bright. To compare Navy SEAL Chris Kyle to a sniper in the Second World War is un-American. Chris Kyle was a hero, both on and off the battlefield.
Hence the irony. What made Kyle a hero and German snipers cowards? Is it something as simple as selfish pride? Kyle was an American sniper killing our enemies, and German snipers were the enemy killing our troops. Could it be that black-and-white?
Was it the conflicts themselves that set the standards? WWII was perhaps the greatest cause the United States has ever had for going to war. The Axis forces were set to take over the entire world at the whim of a truly evil man — Adolf Hitler. In that sense, you could argue that every soldier for that cause: snipers, foot soldiers, artillerymen, pilots, tank drivers, etc., were all A-holes.
Perspective plays a huge role in our opinions. It’s human nature. During the Vietnam War, we were appalled at the guerilla warfare tactics of the Viet Cong. How dare they hide in the jungle and shoot at our troops like cowards. Seriously, how dare they?
We forget that it was us who practically invented guerilla warfare during the Revolutionary War. Facing a superior fighting force and outnumbered greatly, we did the only thing we could do to win. To steal a line from one of the most patriotic songs of all time: “We hide behind our cotton bales and didn’t say a thing.”
That’s right; we chose to forego the “rules” of war. Instead of marching straight down the battlefield armed with muskets and bayonets, drummers and buglers stepping in stride, firing at each other like gentlemen, we hid and shot the enemy from cover. It was successful. We won. And we still revel in its heroism. Heck, you could even make a movie about it and call it The Patriot.
Another action taken by the enemy during the Vietnam War was the treatment of our POWs. Ignoring the Geneva Convention’s rules for war, the Viet Cong tortured prisoners in several now infamous prison camps. If you ever want to know the horrific details of what those prisoners went through at places like the Hanoi Hilton, read Senator Jeremiah Denton’s book, When Hell Was in Session.
We were so sickened at this gross miscarriage of justice and we were all sure of one thing: The United States of America would never ever participate in something so wrong. We would never disregard the rules set forth in the Geneva Convention and torture POWs.
Of course I’m being a tad sadistic here. It did happen and the argument still carries over as to whether or not we were right for doing it. In my mind, the only thing that can make it right is the fact that it was us doing it and not our enemy.
Which brings us back to the original question regarding Chris Kyle and the German snipers of WWII. Here are my thoughts:
Chris Kyle was a great American and a hero.
Clint Eastwood is a great movie maker and an American treasure.
Michael Moore is a great documentary maker and as American as anyone else. He just happened to stick his foot in his mouth like all of us are prone to do.
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Professional bull rider J.B. Mauney knows that all too well. The North Carolina cowboy has been riding since the age of 13, and he’s broken so many bones along the way, he can’t name them all. Still, he’s not done.
The Weird News dream team sat down with Mauney to discuss his technique, his bar hustles, and the lovely “buckle bunnies” who swoon over big-time cowboys, just before he hit Madison Square Garden for the Professional Bull Riders championship.
Prior to the MSG event, we went out to ride some bulls of our own. Well, mechanical ones anyway. Watch us dominate the competition below — and win $2,000 for the American Cancer Society.
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Fun fact: “Ted” grossed $549 million worldwide after its release in 2012. So here’s the sequel, which reunites Mark Wahlberg with Seth MacFarlane’s foul-mouthed teddy bear. Amanda Seyfried, John Slattery and Morgan Freeman join that duo for “Ted 2,” which focuses on Ted’s attempts to prove that he’s got a soul. “Ted 2” is out on June 26; a Super Bowl trailer for the film was expected to include New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, who might be a sperm donor in Ted’s attempts to conceive a child with his new wife. (Hi, you are not having a dream.)
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Now that TestFlight is being wrapped into Apple’s iTunes Connect, problems are starting to show. Many with a Developer account via Apple are reporting that logging in takes them to a different account altogether, which I can sadly corroborate. Even though Developers are using their own credentials, they’re being logged into accounts that aren’t theirs. Larger names like H&R Block … Continue reading
Can a robot consent to having sex? Will an operating system replace your girlfriend? Will we able to sync to our partners’ vibrators just by using our brain waves?
If predicting the future is a fool’s errand, predicting the future of sex is reserved for the most fascinating fools.
In HuffPost’s first ever Love+Sex Podcast, hosts Carina Kolodny, Senior Editor For Special Projects, and Noah Michelson, Executive Editor, take up the challenge and explore how new and emerging technologies could radically revolutionize all forms of intimacy — and in many cases, how technology is already well on its way to doing just that.
You can check out our future episodes of Love+Sex and other HuffPost Podcasts on The Huffington Post’s Sound Cloud page. Thanks to our audio engineer and producer, Katelyn Bogucki, and our guests: Claire Cavanah of Babeland, Suki and Brian Dunham of OhMiBod, Author George Zarkadakis and Jincey Lumpkin of Juicy Pink Box.
Amazon Web Services have revealed their newest plan for working with email and calendaring in the business world: Amazon WorkMail. If it wasn’t clear from the name, Amazon WorkMail is made for enterprise users, aiming at the workplace with Microsoft Active Directory compatibility. This isn’t an app – to be clear – it’s a “managed business email and calendaring service” … Continue reading
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