10 Great Word Ways to Love Mom on Valentine's Day

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Photo by Yuri Levchenko, Creative Commons, via Flickr.

My mother wasn’t perfect (shhh, don’t tell her I said that), but she did her best to love my sister and me. Part of that love meant she read poetry to us, every day before we got on the school bus. Part of it was expressed in the walks she took us on, to pick wild strawberries by day or find the Big Dipper and the Seven Sisters by night. She was especially good about making us little handmade cards for Valentine’s Day. I still remember the unique shape of the tiny hearts she’d put by her name, Mommy.

Time has passed, so much time, but the gifts persist–particularly in how she influenced my love of words and gave me ways of seeing the world. If I could give something back to her this year, it would be something from this list (in fact, I chose two, but I’m not telling which, in case she happens to find this post, which is unlikely, but you never know what secrets the Internet accidentally divulges).

10 Great Word Ways to Love Your Mother for Valentine’s Day

 
1. Everything That Makes You Mom, from the publisher of an inspiring mom website, where you could potentially find even more mom gift ideas. You won’t have time to fill this book up with mom-memories before Valentine’s Day, but you could very well give it to your mother along with a promise to do it together over the phone or lunch for a while, as a way to connect. Watch for the orange poncho and the pancake frisbees.

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2. Jealous Poem Stacks. Forget what your mom told you about not being jealous of others. Get jealous for words, and make her some fun poem stacks, pulling from books on birds, gems and minerals, or flowers. You could send the stacks along with that sci-fi chocolate you’ve been meaning to get her.

3. Spin: Taking Your Creativity to the Nth Degree. Set mom spinning towards a more creative life. You could work on the question sections together and maybe recall some stories of your own that parallel the topics like ritual, being a kid again, and talking to strangers (yes, she told you not to do this; now you’ll show her it isn’t all bad).

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4. Every Day Poems. What better way to love your mother than to give her the gift of beautiful, thoughtful, or amusing poetry, right in her inbox? And you needn’t stop there. You can discuss the poems together for a great way to enliven your relationship.

5. Hans Christian Andersen, Complete Fairy Tales. Fairy tales are for grownups too. Sometimes we forget that. Take mom back to the time when you read these classic stories together, and help her recapture the delight of the colorful bedtime story. Or, if you missed out on this experience as a child (and mom did too), why not read the tales together for the first time?

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6. Love You Forever. Make her cry. Why not? You probably did that countless times over the years. And we promise this will be a good cry. Love You Forever is a children’s book that’s really a grownup’s story, as we watch a young boy grow and eventually care for his own mom. “I love you forever, I love you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby [my mommy] you’ll be.” (Bet you can’t get through it either without a needing a tissue.)

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7. Sophie’s Masterpiece: A Spider’s Tale. Make her cry again. (You’re on a roll.) This is a beautifully-told story that follows the aging spider Sophie (don’t worry, she’s a pretty arachnid) and her quest to give beautiful things to people–ending with a final masterpiece gift to a lonely new mother. The pictures are gorgeous, the sentiment deep.

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8. A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail. After numbers 6 and 7 above, mom is probably going to need this. Take her on a hilarious (and sometimes irreverent) adventure with Bill Bryson. She will know he’s doing a lot wrong just by the traveling companion he chooses (and may feel satisfied that she taught you better–about how to select your friends and hiking compatriots, as well as your hiking food supplies).

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9. Tea With Jane Austen. Maybe your mom was the first to introduce you to the wit of Jane Austen. It’s your turn to be the first to introduce her to tea with Jane. This book is a fascinating look at the world of tea in Austen’s time. Includes quotes from Austen novels and recipes you may wish your mother had made.

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10. The Faraway Nearby. A memoir of apricots, mirrors, and a mother descending into dementia. Okay, it’s probably not best to give this one to her for Valentine’s Day. But if you’re trying to work through troubled memories of mom (or deal with a challenging care-giving situation), this might be just the book to keep for yourself. That’s allowed.

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This post is a modified reprint of a post that first appeared at Tweetspeak Poetry.

Jeb Bush Smoked Marijuana And Was A Bully In High School, Say Former Classmates

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush smoked marijuana while in high school, a personal use of the drug that stands in contrast to his later political stance on the plant.

“I drank alcohol and I smoked marijuana when I was at Andover,” Bush, the current Republican frontrunner seeking his party’s 2016 presidential nomination, told the Boston Globe as part of a detailed new profile that describes his time at Phillips Academy in Andover, Massachusetts. Both George H.W. Bush, Jeb’s father, and George W. Bush, his brother, also attended the prestigious private school.

“It was pretty common,” Bush said of his substance use during that time. A former classmate of Bush’s, Peter Tibbetts, recalled to the newspaper that the first time he ever smoked marijuana was with Bush, in some woods near their dorm.

“The first time I really got stoned was in Jeb’s room,” Tibbetts told the Globe. “He had a portable stereo with removable speakers. He put on Steppenwolf for me.” Tibbetts was eventually forced to leave the boarding school after being accused of using drugs.

As a politician, Bush has not embraced marijuana. He spent much of his time as Florida governor championing jail instead of treatment for nonviolent drug offenders, and pushed for mandatory prison sentences for drug offenders — with the exception of his daughter, Noelle, who has struggled with crack cocaine use.

More recently, while acknowledging that states should “have a right” to decide on the legalization of marijuana, Bush publicly opposed an amendment to legalize medical marijuana in Florida.

“Florida leaders and citizens have worked for years to make the Sunshine State a world-class location to start or run a business, a family-friendly destination for tourism and a desirable place to raise a family or retire,” Bush said before the November midterm election. “Allowing large-scale marijuana operations to take root across Florida, under the guise of using it for medicinal purposes, runs counter to all of these efforts.”

Reacting to the Globe story, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) blasted Bush over his “hypocrisy” on marijuana.

“You would think he’d have a little more understanding then,” Paul, who may be a rival to Bush in the Republican primary, told The Hill Friday. “He was even opposed to medical marijuana. This is a guy who now admits he smoked marijuana but he wants to put people in jail who do.”

The Globe also spoke to some of Bush’s former classmates, who recalled a “physically imposing” young man who was seen as intimidating by some and a bully by others. Tibbetts recalled a story to the newspaper of an occasion during their boarding school days when he and Bush taunted a smaller student who lived in their dorm by sewing his pajama bottoms so that the student couldn’t put them on.

Bush told the Globe he didn’t remember the incident or any other bullying, and was surprised that some of his former classmates viewed him that way. “I don’t believe that is true,” Bush said, adding that it was more than 40 years ago and not possible for him to remember.

It isn’t the first time that allegations of bullying have surfaced about Bush’s high school years. Another classmate of Bush’s told Vanity Fair in 2001 that he remembered Bush as a bully as well, and that there was “a kind of arrogance” about him during his time at Andover.

The Globe story echoes similar sentiments expressed in a 2012 Washington Post story about then-presumed Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney and alleged bullying during his prep school days.

A Bush spokeswoman told The Huffington Post that Bush did not have any additional comments on the Globe story.

Inside The Marriages Of Non-Monogamous Couples

By Lizzy Smilez for DivorcedMoms.com

Here are three real scenarios from couples I know well. And they have turned everything I thought about fidelity on its head.

1. The Open Marriage:

Kim and Troy have been married for 25 years and have two children. If one was an outsider looking in, they are the perfect couple. They are both beautiful people, have a beautiful home with a shiny pool in the back yard, two dogs and a cat, two perfect careers, two nice cars and a boat. They are fun to be with, always up for an adventure or a night out. They laugh and are affectionate with each other.

But Kim confided in me that they have been going through a rough patch for years. Troy has been fantasizing about being with other women and wanting her to be with other partners, men or women. They are both bored and have been considering divorce for a few years. Troy cheated on Kim throughout their four year relationship prior to marriage and to this day, she thinks that maybe Troy has cheated on her after their wedding, too. Every time he texts or picks up a call, she wonders.

Finally, at Troy’s encouragement, she slept with a friend of Troy’s. They filmed it and texted it to Troy. And instead of it destroying their trust and relationship, it has revitalized it. She says they have sex all the time now, they are open with each other in ways they never have been, and she actually trusts Troy because she feels, at last, he’s honest. Brutally honest, not always easy to hear. But at last, she doesn’t wonder anymore.

I asked Kim if she felt guilty about having the one-time sexual tryst with Troy’s pal. No, she said, because she did it for Troy and the outcome has been good for them. She was on the verge of a divorce and, time will tell if infidelity has perhaps saved their marriage. I asked if she would do it again. Probably not.

What will she do if Troy has an affair, or many affairs? She’s not sure she cares that much, as long as it’s “just sex.” And what if it isn’t? What if one of those “just sex” women becomes something more? Kim says that she and Troy are strong, they have been together so long that no woman will end their marriage. She’s that sure of it. And she, the jealous type, is all of a sudden, more sure of herself than ever, and not feeling so jealous anymore. She feels… at peace.

Kim has decided that she will sacrifice her monogamous marriage in order to have honesty, transparency and openness in their relationship. Honesty at almost any cost. The rules of their marriage have now changed. Will this lead to long-term happiness? Time will tell.

2. The Known Cheater (And Looking The Other Way):

When Lori met Sam, he was already married. She helped break up his marriage and it was an ugly split. Sam’s wife fought hard to keep her guy but, ultimately, she failed. A year after their divorce was final, Lori got her wish — Sam married her amidst great fanfare and a huge wedding. It’s been 15 years and they have three sons. As an outsider looking in, they are also the perfect couple. A beautiful home with a pool, two great careers, beautiful boys who are in every sport one can imagine, and one awesome Golden Retriever.

Sam and Lori go to all their boys’ games and activities and they have all the beautiful photos on Facebook to prove it. They are one happy family. Except Sam cheats on Lori all the time. Whether it’s with his co-worker, the neighbor, his ex wife, or the daughter of a family friend. And Lori knows it. Most of the time, she pretends it’s not happening. But a few times, it’s been so “in her face” that she’s had no choice but to confront it.

Not long ago, she asked Sam to end his current affair. He promised. She demanded they go to counseling. He agreed. But then Lori never made that counseling appointment. Truth is, she doesn’t want to go to counselors, she doesn’t want to confront any of it. She wants the image and her intact family. Lori explains to me that she loves Sam and she’s going to save her marriageb– period. They have their children, home and, well, there you have it.

In Lori’s defense, she knew what she was getting when she married Sam. She got a serial cheater. She wasn’t the only one that Sam cheated with when he was married to his first wife. Lori knew the rules of the game of life with Sam and she’s willing to play it. As long as Sam keeps the affairs out of her face, Lori will ignore it. For Sam, his job is to keep the cheating hidden. At least Lori isn’t demanding her husband become a different guy just because he married her.

Is this a healthy relationship? Um, no. But there are couples like Sam and Lori all around us. And I suppose if they are decent to each other, then the children never need to go through the trauma of a divorce and that’s a good thing. Right?

3. The Quiet Cheater:

Mira and Chris married two years ago. During their three-year courtship, Mira caught Chris cheating on her. She broke up with him but Chris came back, promising that he’d changed. After many months, Mira believed Chris, they reconciled and got married. I know Chris well and he tells me a lot about what goes on behind Mira’s back. He has cheated on Mira twice. He feels huge guilt but he can’t help it. Mira pretends that she trusts Chris and if she ever finds out, I’m quite certain she would divorce him.

Mira is constantly checking Chris’ phone and emails. She has also been known to show up at his work unannounced, and even the occasional guy’s fishing weekend, to ensure he really is where he says he is. Chris finds it really annoying. Mira feels she’s going insane. How long can their marriage survive? Probably not for long.

Women have five options when it comes to cheating husbands.

As much as I’ve thought about these three stories over the past many months, I’ve decided there are five options for ladies who date (or are married to) cheaters:

1. End it. There are men who don’t cheat. Find one.

2. Open up the relationship. Allow it, value honesty, and put your jealousy and fear aside or otherwise you’ll go insane.

3. Look the other way, again and again and again. You’ll live a life of dishonesty, but if you value your family and guy more, then perhaps you can find some peace of mind.

4. Make yourself crazy by always looking for signs that your guy is cheating. There will never be peace in your life and when you do catch him, you can take the moral high road and blame, scream and live with it until the next time. Or eventually end the relationship when you’ve finally had enough of the insanity.

5. Decide to simply trust your guy. Don’t look for signs he’s cheating. Simply take your relationship at face value.

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Gluten-Free and Sugar-Free Super Bowl Snack: Bacon Wrapped Dates

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Are you doing any new years resolutions this year? I am doing a no sugar January and let me just tell you, it’s been pretty hard! Especially over the weekends. Super Bowl is coming up quick and if you’re looking for easy to make, diet approved delicious snacks for the big day, you have come to the right place! Bacon Wrapped Dates fall in under Whole 30, Paleo, no sugar, no gluten, no grains and basically any dietary restrictions you can think of. Except vegetarian and vegan of course!

Have you ever had some? It’s actually a Spanish tapas snack and they are the best sweet and salty combo! It’s super easy to make and always a hit with the crowd!

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What you’ll need:

  • Dates
  • Bacon of your choice
  • Toothpicks with no flavor
  • Knife, Cutting Board, and Cooking Sheet with Parchment Paper

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Pitt the dates, roll them up and cook at 400F/200C for about 20 minutes until the bacon is cooked and you’re all done. Enjoy! 🙂 For more pictures and full instructions click here.

Head over to my blog repolished.com for more recipes like this!

18-inch Pacific Rim Cherno Alpha Action Figure Kicks Kaiju Butt

A new Pacific Rim action figure has landed on ThinkGeek and it’s a very cool collectible indeed. It’s an 18-inch reproduction of the Cherno Alpha Jaeger. Every time I see this Jaeger, I wonder if the creators of the movie meant for it to look like the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail or if it was an accident.

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The toy has over 20 points of articulation and features sliding X-14 Tesla fists. Those fists have movable fingers and thumbs and extending action. It is also packed with a bunch of LED lights to make it shiny. It does have lots of small parts, so you need to keep it away from kids, but priced at $99.99(USD), this isn’t something you’d want their grubby little mitts on anyhow.

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Former NFL Player Doug Williams Became The First Black Quarterback In Super Bowl History To Earn The MVP Title

This weekend will be a significant one to sports fans everywhere as the NFL’s annual Super Bowl will air Sunday — but it also marks another historic moment worth honoring.

On this day in 1988, former American football player Doug Williams was named the first African-American player to earn the MVP title. Williams also broke barriers by becoming the first black football quarterback to play in a Super Bowl game.

Williams, now 59, played for the Washington Redskins and helped the team defeat the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXII at the Jack Murphy stadium in San Diego, California. The final score was Washington 42, Denver 10.

The former quarterback eventually retired from the sport after the 1989 season and went on to take on head coaching roles at numerous schools including Morehouse College and Grambling State. He later accepted a position in the front office with the Washington Redskins last February.

Take a look back at some of Williams’ impressive career highlights in the pictures below as we honor his contributions to sports — and black — history:

Spirit of the Hawk

Spirit of the Hawk

Raven was walking along the beach.

He looks far out to sea. He sees an island of fire spouting flames into the nighttime sky. Raven is not a good distance flyer. That fire is too far away for him to make it. But he knows if he can get it, he can do great things for all of the world.

Ravens brother, Hawk, was walking along the beach. Hawk has a long, straight beak, Hawk is proud of his beak.

Raven asks, “Can you help me?

“What do you want me to do?” asks Hawk.

“I want you to get that fire out there for me.” says Raven

“How am I gonna do that?” asks Hawk

Raven goes up in a tree, and he gets a branch and he puts in Hawk’s long beak.

Then he gets some pitch and puts it on the branch.

He tells Hawk, “Fly out there, get me that fire.”

Raven tells him, “It is not an easy thing I ask…”

“…My Brother, be brave, have courage what you are doing is for all the people of the world”

So Hawk flies way out there. He flies around the fire once, twice, three times, and on the fourth time the fire jumps up and he flies right into it. Hawk has the fire and he flies back to shore.

He’s tired. He has been flying for a long time but he keeps on flying. While he flies that fire is burning down closer and closer to his beak. It’s burning him. The flame is right up to Hawk’s beak now, his long beak caused it to shrink down and hook but Hawk keeps on flying. Hawk wants to cry out, but he knows if he does he will drop the fire. So he keeps flying on in his pain and his weariness.

Raven sees him as he is getting closer, sees that he is getting in trouble. He flies out to him, along side of him. Side by side they are flying.

Raven says, “… be brave. I am with you. I am here beside you. It is a good thing what you are doing. … .”

Raven is beside him. It is like he is bearing him up.

At last, finally, they make it back to shore. Raven takes that fire and he throws it in the rocks. He throws it in the river. He throws it in the trees, into all the things growing in the forest there. He throws it in the animals. He throws it in the human beings. Now people have the fires. But more than fire, now they have the spirit. The spirit that is in all things.

Now it is in all of us.

That time then, Raven put the Spirit in all things. Now we have the fire. Now we have the Spirit. Now we are alive. Now we are all part of it.

You see the Seattle Seahawks have lit the fire in the hearts of the people. They have lit the fire in the heart of this city. But more than lighting the fire, we all share in that spirit. That’s what it is all about is sharing the spirit. Now we have the fire, now we have the spirit, now we are alive and now we are all part of it. – Gene Tagaban, Native American Storyteller

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Spirit of the Hawk, Photo Credit: Brad Puet

Thank you for that awesome story, Gene. For our readers please introduce yourself and what you do.

My name is Gene Tagaban, My Tlingit name is Guy Yaaw. I am of the Takdeintaan the Raven Freshwater Sockeye clan from Hoonah, Alaska.

I am the child of the Wooshkeetaan Eagle Shark clan from Auk Kwaan, Juneau Alaska. I am Cherokee, Tlingit and Filipino. I am a storyteller, speaker, performing artist and mentor. I teach wilderness connection, awareness, empowerment, leadership, relationship, communication, spirit and honor. I assist individuals, families, groups, communities in healing. Healing from trauma, historical trauma, mental, emotional and spiritual trauma.

Can you explain to our readers the art of storytelling and how culturally that influences the work that you do?

We are a story, we are storytellers, your life is a story. Before we were born your story was being told.

You can find your story being told in the old, old stories. As a story teller I don’t just tell the story, I don’t just remember the story, I relive the story. I imagine the story, I see the story, I feel the story and then I share the story.

Stories teach, stories entertain and stories heal. The story is alive. We do not pick or choose the story the story chooses us. My teacher told me “When you talk to the people don’t just talk to them you talk to their spirit, that is how you are gonna reach them, that is where they will change, that is where they will heal, talk with their spirit.” This is what story telling does, you are talking to their spirit.

In many cultures, the storyteller role was passed down from one generation to the next. Can you tell us how you became a storyteller?

When I was in grade school storytellers would come in and tell stories of raven, eagle, bear, killer whale, salmon. I listened as my relatives sat around the dinner table at my grandmothers house sharing stories of how they grew up. I listened and I remembered. When I was 24 I was mentored to become a personal awareness teacher. It was there I learned the value of storytelling. In my late twenties I joined a Native American Storytelling Theater company and was trained on the art of storytelling. I use storytelling in every aspect of my work as a speaker, performing artist and mentor.

Can you tell us about the Raven, who the Raven is, and how he relates to the region, to your people, and to the many other communities in the Pacific Northwest?

Raven is the trickster, teacher, wise one, foolish one. There are many stories about Raven. Raven tells us about being human. Raven teaches us how to teach. Raven teaching or trickster teaching is a skill used by the indigenous people. Raven teaches us to not give direct answers but to encourage the learner to want to learn.

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Gene Tagaban and The Incredible Hawk, Photo Credit: Brad Puet

You seem to have adapted the Raven to the Seattle Seahawks. In your eyes can you tell us the relationship between the two?

When you see the Hawk, you’ll see him as a very fierce hunter. He’s always flying around on the hunt. His presence is always with strength. All the other birds and all the other animals know that he is around.

The Raven is the trickster. Like for instance in Alaska, the Raven is always playing. Whether looking for food or just moving around, the Raven always has the presence of curiosity.

So when I dance, you’ll notice that I’ll have the presence of either the Raven or the Hawk. That will go as far as how I move, how I hold my wings. Even with my head movements, as the Raven my head is more playful and animated with the presence of curiosity. With the Hawk, my head movements are more direct.

Hawk is much more serious than Raven is.

As far as the masks and the regalia, how do you want audience members to see you?

This Hawk mask is made by Jake Lucas. I made the wings and everything else. The original design of the Raven was made by Chris Macua and by Aaron Elmore up in Alaska. These masks and regalia have traveled all over the world. For example, I am going to Venezuela next week and I’ll probably just take the Raven with me.

I see these masks as alive.

They contain the spirit of the Raven or the Hawk or any animal. They are able to tell their stories through me. They are able to tell the stories that my ancestors told through me. It helps me connect that to the people I am telling my story to.

When I bring out the Seahawks mask, the Hawk, children recognize it. They are automatically drawn in and I got them. I can talk to them. I can talk to them about how beautiful they are, how awesome they are, how special they are, how to believe in their self, and work hard. I can really start to build them up. I am not trying to just talk to them, I am really talking to their spirit. That is what I really want to touch.

Do you think that translates to the Seattle Seahawks (and especially recently with their success in the last 5 years) and the community (12s)?

There’s a spirit in this community. There’s a spirit and fire in Seattle and the Pacific Northwest. Their fire is lit. With them doing well, everyone is behind them. It’s given everyone hope. It’s given everyone this connection. This is what the team has given to us the community. The chance to join in. Even if they lose and they’re not because I don’t want to jinx them, but this community will always believe. There’s healing in this. This is what I mostly see is that it’s about the healing.

I don’t care if your white, you’re black, you’re Native, or you’re Asian, this is for all people.

———–

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The original mask meets the Spirit of the Hawk, Photo Credit: Brad Puet

Gene was performing at the Burke Museum during one of the Seattle Seahawks Super Bowl rallies. In November 2014, the museum and the Seahawk organization put on display the original mask that inspired the 1976 Seahawk logo. The Kwakwaka’wakw transformation mask is currently on display at the Burke Museum in the Here & Now: Native Artists Inspired exhibit. It will be on display until July 2015.