Hasta La Gadget!

As a guy who makes a living at being nice (I even wrote a book called Nice Guys Finish First, so you know I am a believer), one of the more commonly asked questions I get when speaking to groups all over the country is not, “Why are you always so nice?” but rather, “How can you always be nice?” It appears to me that people in general know that being nice is far more beneficial than being not nice. I think people are stuck in the mindset that I must always be “up,” in a good mood, or in a constant state of happiness. Well, the short response to that statement as it pertains to me is, “Yes, but…” Yes, but I do have my mean moments. I want flip someone off in traffic, lay into someone for generally being stupid or yell back at someone when I am challenged by them. Yes, I want to do all of those things (I am human after all), but I hold back. The reason I don’t respond to mean, stupid or challenging people? What’s the point? Even if I win, flip or challenge back, I will never be right in the eyes of the offending party. I consider myself an expert at assessing idiocy while maintaining an attitude of “you cannot overcome dumb.” So, I save my energy for kindness, happiness and niceness. I win.

“Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. “
— Buddha

You must keep in mind that the only things we are in control of are our attitude, our thoughts and our behaviors. Over the years, I have worked hard at the six inches between my ears. My brain constantly is sending messages to me in the form of thought waves. And if your brain is functioning correctly, yours is doing the same thing. You have a choice when you interpret those thoughts. You can either process those synapses and be kind, nice and happy or take the fork in the road and be cold, callus, selfish, mean and dark. I find the latter to be just plain wrong and totally counter productive. I prefer to build up rather than tear down.

Want to know the best way to get anything you want? Give away everything you have. In a previous blog I wrote about a year ago I talked about the act of giving. Want love, give love. Want happiness, give happiness. Want more time and money in your life, give away your time and your money. The world is just a big circle of energy and if you don’t believe that, just try paying a good deed forward. The act of being nice will always be rewarded by the receipt of nice. You win!

“Want love, give love. Want happiness, give happiness. Want more time and money in your life, give away your time and your money. “

Success in business today involves taking the road less traveled. Recently, I had an opportunity to work on a business project with my brother Richard. Until last month we have never had a chance to work together. Rich has built a tremendously successful (and very personable) business in a potentially cold and sterile high-tech world of webinars, webcasting and learning management systems (complicated business stuff). His company, CommPartners has built a reputation as “the” go-to source, in his market. I would venture to say partly because of his approach to exemplary service, outstanding support and kindness (plus he has a great product too). His competition is stiff and in the world of high-technology, Rich and his talented staff score an A+ for creating a culture of nice, while maintaining a high touch profile with his clients. I learned, over those 30 days, that nice doesn’t just work in the world of my small business, but instead translates perfectly well in a multi-million dollar business like Rich’s. Way to go CommPartners. (#ELEVATE).

Back to the original question, “How can you always be nice?” I honestly don’t see that we have any other logical choice. I tell myself that nice is my only option. If you think that being nice means being a pushover, a “yes” man, or someone that is constantly getting dumped on, think again. Whether you are a leader of a company like my brother Richard, run a small company like mine or run a billion dollar empire like Tony Hsieh (CEO of Zappos), being nice is the best, most productive and most positive way to be. There is a tremendous amount of power in nice. As an added bonus, nice pays well too.

“If given a test on the subject of being nice, would you score A+? “

Train your brain that being nice is your only option. Create habits that allow you to be mindful of another perspective other than yours. If given a test question on the subject of being nice, would you score A+? Bad stuff is out there folks, that is reality for all of us, but there is plenty of good stuff too. Focus on the good stuff and nice is right around the corner.

Please take a moment and check out my book, Nice Guys Finish First, on Amazon now and climbing the charts quickly. Also, I have a podcast on iTunes, The Nice Guys on Business podcast. Fun and Business can mix well. Everyone can use a bit more NICE in life.

This weekend a piece went live on TIME.com that reported news that I had lost my book contract of over a year due to my theological position on same-sex relationships and my identification with the LGBTQ community. Though the story at TIME is thorough and accurate, I want to take a few moments to elaborate a bit more on my current situation.

When I received the news that my contract would likely be terminated last week, I was honestly shocked. My former publisher, Destiny Image, signed me in March 2014 to be one of the first in their new “progressive” line of books along with books by my friend Benjamin L. Corey (who blogs at Patheos Progressive). As a then 21 year old senior in college, I was excited at the opportunity to turn so many of the thoughts that I had been sharing through my blog Revangelical into a book, a dream that I have had since I was a child. My book was to be a collection of memoir-essays that outlined some of the most important lessons that I have learned over the course of my spiritual journey thus far. I would be raw and honest, but also seek to write from an evangelical perspective to evangelicals. In order to do that, I intentionally kept out a chapter on sexuality, hoping to not detract from the broader message I was trying to communicate.

Last March I began working on writing the manuscript, pouring my heart and soul on the pages of this book. It was perhaps the hardest thing that I have ever done and caused me to wrestle with areas of my own life and faith that I had buried deep within my soul. After spending nearly a year writing this 45,000-word manuscript, I finally completed my first draft two weeks ago. When I finally was able to turn in the completed manuscript of Nomad, I breathed a deep sigh of relief. Nearly a year of hard work had finally paid off. I was done. Or so I thought.

Within a few hours, I received an email from my publisher asking if we could have a conversation via phone later that day about some “concerns” that had arisen from book buyers. As soon as I read those words, a knot formed in my stomach. My heart began to race. I have received emails like this before from leaders at my Bible College and churches I had been a part of. I immediately knew that the problem was going to be with my support of LGBTQ equality and inclusion in the Church. I quickly responded to the email and was on the phone with my publisher within the hour.

Unfortunately, I was right.

My publisher explained that in recent weeks as they had tried to sell my book to a number of Christian distributors and had been informed that because of my advocacy of and identification with the LGBTQ Christian community, they had refused to buy my book (which, once again, has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of sexuality) Because the Christian Bookstores are the main buyer for Destiny Image, my publisher informed me that it was likely that they were going to have to drop my book. I acknowledged the difficult position my publisher was in and graciously hung up the phone. Immediately, my head fell on to my desk and tears flowed down my face. I felt a mixture of anger and sadness wash over me. Not because my book got cut, though that was disappointing enough. I was crying because this feeling of marginalization and rejection by my Evangelical community has begun to feel all too familiar.

Time and time again, I have found myself sitting across the table from Evangelical mentors, leaders, and friends as they have explained that because of my perspectives on this singular issue, I was no longer a part of the Evangelical fold. That I could no longer be a part of my community, or school, or network, because I believed that God blesses same-sex relationships. And here again I sat, being told that because of my sexual identity and support for equality, Christian booksellers were banning me from publishing. Last week, I received the phone call that I knew would be coming. My publisher officially informed me that my manuscript was going to be released back to me and my contract voided because they were unable to sell my book to their major Christian buyers.

After having nearly a week to process my publisher’s decision, I find myself today feeling more heart broken than ever at the state of Evangelical Christianity. Not because I lost a book deal, but rather because of the broader reality that this situation points to. The marginalization and discrimination I taste today is only a sliver of what LGBTQ people face every day at the hands of Christians. Every day, LGBTQ individuals are told that they are no longer welcome in churches, are kicked out of homes, are fired from jobs, and are forced in to reparative therapy by those who claim to represent Jesus. Every day, more and more people are pushed away from the God who loves them by Evangelical ministers who value theological correctness more than the human beings standing right before their eyes.

Many have said it before, but it bears repeating here. There is a major problem within Evangelical Christianity. And that problem is that many leaders within Evangelicalism have decided that the Gospel is not truly good news for everyone. For LGBTQ people, the Gospel is not that you are loved, forgiven, and accepted just as you are. Instead, the message is “get straight”, be celibate, or be damned. For LGBTQ allies, the Gospel isn’t about grace; it’s about theological conformity. If you disagree on this one issue, the unforgivable sin, you are literally banned. From church, from school, from publishing, from heaven. This is the “gospel” that is being preached. And it is a false gospel.

I don’t know what the coming days hold. It is my hope that my book will find a new home at another publishing house. But more than that, I hope that God will continue to work to radically uproot and reform his Church on this issue. For me personally, this situation has stoked the flames of passion within me to continue working hard to change the hearts and minds of Evangelical Christians on the topic of LGBTQ inclusion and equality. This situation has stoked my passion for preaching again the true Gospel of Jesus Christ, the Gospel that proclaims that the Kingdom of Heaven is in our midst and invites all people to join in it’s expansion. The Gospel that calls everyone without exception to the beautiful banquet table of our God. I am more committed than ever to giving my life to preach that Gospel. Because that’s truly good news.

Supposing you’re one of the millions of Gmail users that uses autocomplete to a fault, you might want to check your outbox this week. As of the last few days – some are saying longer – a bit of a bug appears to be showing up. This oddity has Gmail suggesting emails you might have only used once over an … Continue reading

If you like cooking, there’s a decent chance the process of making a meal is one of excitement and wonder. There is an artistry to cooking that can be seen throughout the process. Mixing of ingredients and colors can look like the most mouth-watering creation the world has seen. There are entire channels on television dedicated to cooking, so it should come as no surprise that we like to look at food.

If you wish none of the cooking process was hidden from your view, then the Glass Pot will be a must-have for your kitchen arsenal. This is made of a combination of boroscilicate glass, silicone, and stainless steel that can hold 8 quarts of whatever you feel like cooking. These are also a handmade item from Italy, much like the Multi-Mat we saw a bit ago. Instead of just being another aspect of the cooking regimen, this will add some aesthetics to the process, allowing you to see what you’re doing.

Seeing that this is glass which needs to be tempered, you will want to follow these instructions carefully, “Do not preheat burner. Initially, heat on low and use up to medium-high heat. The Glass Pot retains heat at higher volume so a lower setting is needed for cooking. Do not add cold liquid to a hot glass pot. Allow the pot to come to room temperature before washing to avoid rapid temperature change. For gas stoves, use a wire mesh flame spreader to aid in even heat distribution”. This is a $200 purchase, which means you’ll either need to be loaded or just really love watching pasta swim in boiling water for this to be worth it. Of course, if you think you’ll ever need a lid, it will cost you an additional $53 as a separate purchase because that doesn’t make sense in the slightest.

Available for purchase on MoMa
[ Watched pots never boil, unless they’re made of glass copyright by Coolest Gadgets ]

 Classic cars are great. The look, the feel, the repair bills. But they often lack the modern safety and convenience features found on modern cars. Porsche has a solution with a radio and navigation system that blends today’s technology with the style found in its classic cars. Unless, of course, you’re driving a classic Porsche to escape modern society. The radio unit can be… Read More