Colorado Movie Theater Shooting Victim's Girlfriend And Mother 'Hold Each Other Up'

College sweethearts Amanda Lindgren and Alex Teves were just beginning their lives together when their love story was cut tragically short. In July 2012, the 24-year-olds were at a midnight screening of “The Dark Knight Rises” in Aurora, Colorado when a gunman entered the theater and opened fire. Alex was one of 12 killed that night and used his last moments to protect Amanda and save her life.

One year later, filmmaker Jonas Elrod of the OWN series “In Deep Shift with Jonas Elrod” traveled to Colorado to meet with Amanda and document her spiritual journey. Amanda lives with an immeasurable loss and has been struggling to move forward, but her family is hopeful that she’ll move home to Arizona where she can get the help and support she needs.

In the above clip from the upcoming episode, Alex’s mother, Caren Teves, reflects on how difficult it is to be in Colorado on the anniversary of the tragedy. “The last few days have been very tough,” Caren says. “In Arizona you’re distanced from it, so it’s not right in your face. Here, it’s real tough. It’s on the newspapers when you walk by. Just walking down the street, you can’t get away from it. It brings me back to a place when Alex was here, and it’s just a little hard to handle right now.”

Though it stirs painful memories, Caren has come to Colorado to be there for Amanda. “Amanda’s here and I need to be with her,” Caren says. “Together we just find support and hold each other up.”

It’s what Alex would have wanted, she says. “Alex used to say to me ‘I’m so happy you love Amanda.’ He used to call me up and just tell me that, ‘I’m so happy you love Amanda!’ So I feel he would really want us to be together right now,” Caren says.

Follow Amanda’s story on “In Deep Shift with Jonas Elrod,” airing Sunday, February 22 at noon ET on OWN.

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Watch: What does Gov. Rauner's budget proposal mean for Illinois?

Gov. Bruce Rauner didn’t just deliver his Budget Address on Wednesday. He detonated a bomb over state budgeting practices and philosophy that have guided Illinois government finances for at least 12 years.

It was only a year ago, after all, that Gov. Pat Quinn delivered a budget speech in which he urged lawmakers to make permanent his 2011 income tax increase as “the responsible thing to do.”

Rauner on Wednesday said precisely the opposite: “This huge deficit is the result of years of bad decisions, sleight-of-hand budgeting and giveaways we couldn’t afford. It is not the result of decreasing tax rates. Some in the General Assembly are eager to discuss new revenue. But before revenue can be discussed, reform is essential.”

Watch Reboot Illinois’ Chief Operating Officer Madeleine Doubek, Diana Rickert of the Illinois Policy Institute and Ralph Martire of the Center for Tax and Budget Accountability discuss the speech and what it means for the state on WTTW’s “Chicago Tonight.”

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Following the governor’s speech, reactions from politicians, business organizations and nonprofits varied. Some loved the ideas espoused in the address: Ty Fahner, president of the Civic Committee of The Commercial Club of Chicago, called it “courageous.” Others were not so pleased: the Illinois Education Association released a statement calling the proposal “unacceptable.” See other reactions, including from Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel and mayoral candidate and Cook County Board Commissioner Jesus “Chuy” Garcia, at Reboot Illinois.

NEXT ARTICLE: Devils Advocate: When will legal marijuana come to Illinois?

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'RuPaul's Drag Race' Season Seven Meet The Queens Event Premieres in L.A.

It’s almost that time of year again — the newest season of cult reality television show “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is almost here!

In the weeks leading up to the March 2 premiere on Logo TV, the 14 queens of season seven are taking part in a nation-wide “Meet The Queens” tour, which kicked off earlier this week in Los Angeles.

The tour is sponsored by Voss Events and slated to hit other larger cities, including Las Vegas, New York, Chicago and Miami. The full list of “Meet The Queens” tour dates can be found here.

We’ll be covering the New York edition of “Meet The Queens” on Feb. 23 and getting some exclusive quotes from a select few of the girls. In the meantime, check out some photos from the Los Angeles premiere below.

The top 10 wearables you can buy right now

This year’s CES was awash in wearables and while many of them took the form of wrist-worn fitness trackers and smartwatches, the genre has expanded beyond the basics. While some iOS users may be holding out for the Apple Watch in April, there’s still…

77 People Surf The Same French Wave, And It's A Huge Bore

They say there’s a unique wave for every surfer, but this swell might be suitable for everybody.

In the video above, approximately 77 people surfed the same wave as it shot up the Dordogne River in southwestern France, according to a count by Surfer Mag.

Jean-Marc Chauvet posted the clip to his Vimeo account about five months ago with the caption, in French, “Some pictures of [a tidal bore] in Saint Pardon on the Dordogne.”

The video went viral this week when the Surf Federation of Costa Rica posted the video to its Facebook page, describing it as the “best day in friendship” but mistakenly identifying the wave as the pororoca, a tidal bore on the Amazon River.

Tidal bores are seemingly endless waves that occur at the mouth of a river when a full or new moon brings the rising tide in so strongly that it flushes the river with water. This generates waves that travel upstream, temporarily reversing the river’s course.

It is literally a tidal wave.

Tidal bores can be dangerous, as National Geographic explains:

A tidal bore can be quite violent. The bore often changes the color of the river from blue or green to brown as it whips up sediment. Tidal bores can tear vegetation like trees from their roots. This makes the recreation sports of river surfing and kayaking very dangerous. Surfers from China to Alaska have been pulled into the river, bay or ocean. Even watching a bore can be dangerous: Tidal waves have been known to sweep over lookout points and drag people to the churning river.

Dozens of people have been killed watching the impressive tidal bore in China’s Qiantang River over the years, swept away or otherwise fatally injured when the river has surged over sea walls.

In some locations, crocodiles, piranhas, bears, eagles and other carnivores wade in the bore’s aftermath to scavenge for fish and birds left dazed or dead on the river banks.

Dangers aside, tidal bores are attractive to surfers because they create 10-to-13-foot waves that travel as fast as 15 m.p.h. Surfers can ride them for 20 minutes or more.

Windsurfer Robby Naish rode the pororoca bore in the Amazon river 1,476 feet from bank to bank, setting the Guinness World Record for the widest ride of a river tidal bore.

Other famous bores include Alaska’s Turnagain Arm, China’s Qiantang, and others in France, where they’re called mescarets.

It's Time for a Dialogue on Ethnic and Religious Violence in America

The world has witnessed several tragic events in recent months: ongoing violence by the extremist group ISIS in the Middle East and Boko Haram in Nigeria, the Charlie Hebdo shooting and hostage-taking at a kosher grocery store in suburban Paris on January 7th, and the desecration of the Sarre-Union Jewish cemetery in France on February 14th, among others. The vast majority of the American people have condemned these horrific acts and lamented the conditions in other countries that led to them.

Tragically, America is not immune from such violence. There have been a series of disturbing attacks against religious minorities lately: the beating of Sureshbhai Patel in Alabama on February 6th; the tragic murders of Yusor Mohammad Abu-Sal, Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha, and Deah Barakat in Chapel Hill on February 10th; the arson of the Quba Islamic Institute in Houston on February 13th; the Islamophobic defacement of the Islamic School of Rhode Island on February 14th; the anti-Hindu vandalism of the Hindu Temple Cultural Center in Bothell, Washington. When a hateful crime is committed against someone who practices Islam, Sikhism, Judaism, Hinduism, or Christianity, we must remember that the faiths themselves are not the victims–the religions do not become less important or lose their practitioners. The real victims of these crimes are just regular, everyday people. The victims are American.

As the representative of one of the most diverse districts in the country, I am keenly aware of how hate-motivated acts of violence affect whole communities, regardless of location. Religious bigotry remains a crisis in our nation, and we must stem the rising tide of hate and violence with increased focus on peace.

Our nation was founded on the principles of religious diversity, tolerance, and inclusion. These acts of violence, though not representative of the values of any faith, signal the critical need for a dialogue. We need to thoroughly address the causes, and solutions, to these acts. All Americans deserve this. This is why I wrote to the President, along with 37 of my Congressional colleagues, urging his Administration to convene a summit on religious tolerance and diversity. As several faith leaders throughout the nation acknowledged, the summit would open the door for constructive conversations throughout the country, resulting in a definitive plan of action through peaceful methods.

During WW II, my family and I–along with thousands of other Japanese American families–were placed in internment camps because our names and faces were not considered “American.” We were subjected to discrimination, intolerance, and dehumanization, with no regard to our individual patriotism and character. Although many of us suffered indignities that no American should ever experience, I am comforted by the fact that our sacrifice was a teaching moment for our great nation.

However, it hurts me to see signs that we have not fully learned from our past mistakes. For example, anti-Muslim hate crimes are still five times more common today than before 9/11; the federal government created a program based on racial-profiling that required thousands of Arab and Muslim men to register with the authorities following 9/11; and we still have the Patriot Act that limits our democracy, interferes with due process, and enables the government to bully Americans. As Americans, we have to ensure that our nation remembers not only the great aspects of our history, but also our mistakes, so as not to repeat them. Our country must always strive to oppose the profiling and targeting of minorities. The fact that we still allow bullying, racism, fear, and prejudice is unacceptable.

We cannot allow the deaths of Yusor, Razan, and Deah, and others, to be in vain. I hope that these tragedies, even years down the road, will unite all Americans, and remind us to respect the value of all lives, regardless of appearance, orientation, or belief. That is the America our founders sought; the Americaour veterans fought for; the America Yusor, Razan, and Deah loved; and the America I believe in. The words of Yusor not long before her murder keep me optimistic that the desire for unity is alive: “Growing up in America has been such a blessing. We’re all one–one culture.”

We are, and must remain, one culture. The best way to ensure that is to fully engage everyone in a dialogue that will lead to specific steps to prevent deaths like Yusor’s. We owe her, and all the other victims of ethnic-based violence, that much. I hope that the Administration will convene a summit to lead this dialogue.

15 Things I'm Embarrassed To Admit I Need From My Future Husband

By Lindsay Tigar for YourTango

When it comes to meeting my husband one day, I’m a little worried. Not because I’m afraid it won’t happen (okay, that’s a complete lie, but moving on) but because I’ve been single for a while. And though this solo stint has taught me a ton about my values and desires, it’s also has given me time to think about the things I absolutely need in a partner.

Some are a little unrealistic, some are must-haves and others will probably pop up along the way, but in no particular order, here are the things that I’ll need from my future husband.

I need you…

1. To say — and write — loving things to me a lot.

I’m absolutely in love with words. And especially loving words. Even if it’s as simple as “I love you” on a Post-It by the Keurig once a week, do it. I’ll also settle for a text message (or 20), too.

2. To ask my dad for my hand in marriage.

And my mom, too, while you’re at it. I know it’s old-fashioned, creepy and a bit anti-feminist, but you know what? I don’t care. I’m convinced he’ll say “yes” and though you might have to fly to North Carolina (please don’t Skype, it’s tacky) to ask, just think — my dad will totally make you a steak and pop you a beer while you’re there!

3. To be adept at balancing our incomes.

Though I’m pretty financially secure, I worry about having enough money more than anything else. I save more than the average mid-20s-something, but I have this irrational fear about it all disappearing. (Maybe because my NYC rent cost nearly double what most mortgages do?) I need you to be grounded on the topic and calm me down when I freak out.

4. To give me a lot of space.

I was raised an only child and those type of kids can go one of two ways: strong and self-made or spoiled. Luckily, I’m the former but I’ve always had plenty of alone time and it’s important to me. It’s not you — I love you already without even meeting you — it’s just that I have to have space to clear my mind. I promise to always come home to you.

5. To have a lot of sex with me.

Oh, and I want a lot of babies, too. I know that gotta-have-you-right-now kind of sex changes the longer you’re in a relationship (and especially when children come into the picture) but I always want to feel physically connected to you. And I want you to always view me as the sexiest woman you’ve ever known. In return, I promise to make an effort, even when I’m absolutely exhausted. I hope you will too.

6. To listen to me overcommunicate about everything.

I tend to ramble when I feel insecure; it’s my way of forcing someone to say something. It’s irrational and emotional and often unnecessary but if I don’t say it, it’ll eat me up inside. This vulnerability is part of the reason why I’m a successful writer, but it’s also a downfall.

7. To accept that I use six different bottles of shampoo and conditioner.

And at least 25 nail polish colors. Oh, and 10 lipsticks. Okay, fine, I don’t need them but one day when I run out mid-shower, do you really want to be the one to run to the store to pick it up for me? Didn’t think so.

8. To tell me I don’t look fat.

I might one day, but when I come out of our bedroom for some special event and you only muster, “Let’s get going,” my feelings will be really hurt. I’ll pay you compliments and I’ll rub your shoulders when you’re stressed, so please do the same for me.

9. To not be embarrassed when I cry in movies.

I’m super-independent, self-sufficient and strong, but dramas get me everytime. Sometimes, even comedies. Just bring the tissues to the theater, k?

10. To speak your opinion.

I want to be in love with your mind, your heart, what you stand for, what pisses you off, what makes you unique, what makes you turned on — I want to savor everything. So tell me everything. Share your life with me.

11. To plan regular date night.

Even if it’s just in our sweats on a Friday night with takeout and a movie. I hear of couples losing the spark and I haven’t even found the spark and yet I’m freaked out about losing it. Can we make a pact that we’ll have a date night once a week? I’m cool with pizza and beer and Netflix, just as long as we don’t lose each other in our busy lives.

12. To have a mom who likes me.

We don’t have to be besties or drink wine together all the time, but I want her to like me. Especially more than she liked your college girlfriend.

13. To have a passion.

Or five of them. I never want to be anyone’s everything, even yours. I really believe no one can grow in shade and I don’t ever want us to feel suffocated by one another. I will support you in whatever you want to join, play or be part of, but have something you love besides me.

14. To remind me you’re sticking around.

Sorry, you can blame Tinder. And OkCupid. And every single bar scene in New York City. I don’t have much faith in the opposite sex.

15. To feel loved.

And adored. My friends nickname me “love” because it’s such a big part of my DNA. And yet in every relationship I’ve had, I haven’t felt loved by the man I was with. Not truly, not fully, and not sincerely. I need to feel love in my bones and see it in your eyes. Why? Because I will love you more than you can imagine, and I need you to feel the same.

This article originally appeared on YourTango.

…..

Lindsay Tigar is a 26-year-old single writer, editor, and blogger living in New York City. She started her popular dating blog, Confessions of a Love Addict, after one too many terrible dates with tall, emotionally unavailable men (her personal weakness) and is now developing a book about it, represented by the James Fitzgerald Agency.

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30 Wedding Bouquets With Eye-Popping Texture

For instant “wow” factor, add unexpected elements such as fern curls, scabosa pods, silver brunia balls or more into your bouquet. We especially love this multifaceted look when paired with a more simple wedding dress.

Check out more beautiful bridal bouquets here!

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How to Build Trust in Schools

Sometimes I scratch my head when I read about the government’s efforts to improve schools: new standards and tests that have to be implemented immediately, punitive teacher evaluations, and threats of school closures and job losses. All methods that I’m sure have the school employees’ amygdalae firing off 24/7, not to mention the students’.

Instead of incapacitating people’s ability to problem-solve or try new ideas — which is what fear does to us — research on school reform strongly suggests that policy-makers should be encouraging school leaders to take a more humane approach. In their seminal 2002 study on the reform efforts of 12 Chicago public schools, authors Anthony Bryk and Barbara Schneider found that enabling positive social relationships between the adults was the key to successful school improvement — and that trust was at the heart of those relationships.

What Does Trust in Schools Look Like?

Trust in schools comes down to one thing: psychological safety. By this I mean safety to speak one’s mind, to discuss with openness and honesty what is and isn’t working, to make collective decisions, to take risks, to fail–all things researchers tell us are required for deep organizational change and transformation.

Yet this kind of safety doesn’t come easily to schools. According to Bryk and Schneider, the adults in a school community rely on each other to do their jobs correctly and with integrity. The challenge is our expectations for one other are very diverse, based on our unique backgrounds, including our previous school and work experiences.

At one school where I taught, each teacher had differing expectations about how much extra effort teachers should put into their work–a huge bone of contention between the teachers who left after the last bell and those who worked into the evening. And when expectations are largely unconscious or unspoken, it becomes impossible for others to live up to them.

We also make assumptions about the intentions behind a person’s behavior, and, as we all know, assumptions are often wrong. For example, parents and teachers may think the principal made a particular decision based on his or her career advancement rather than what’s best for the students. If we don’t feel psychologically safe to question our assumptions and expectations with each other, trust flies out the window and our relationships suffer.

Building Trust Among Adults

I’m actually not surprised that education policy has yet to embrace the idea of building trust in school environments. For one thing, it’s hard to measure and hard to implement. It also requires us to take an honest look at ourselves, both personally and professionally, and potentially surface those parts that are painful or tender to the touch. And trust-building is just not part of a school leader’s training.

Fortunately, a new program piloted by the Center for Courage & Renewal called “Leading Together: Building Adult Community in Schools” has been found to be effective in cultivating trust in school communities. In a nutshell, the program helps principals and their staff members create a safe space to do the necessary inner work for building trust and community.

Developers of the program, Pamela Seigle and Chip Wood (creators of the social-emotional learning programs Open Circle and co-creator of Responsive Classroom, respectively) and Lisa Sankowski were inspired to develop Leading Together based on their previous work with principals. “We saw time and again that principals were experiencing a tremendous sense of isolation, despair, and overwhelm,” explained Seigle, “The role of the principal is not structured in a viable way — they can’t build school community alone.”

Using the principles and practices of the Circle of Trust approach developed by Parker J. Palmer and the Center for Courage & Renewal, along with methods such as active listening, discussion protocols, reflection, song, mindfulness, and poetry, school teams made up of the principal and teacher-leaders spend four days during the summer and two more days during the school year with the Leading Together facilitators and each other envisioning how they will foster trust amongst the adults in their schools.

“After four days with Chip and Pamela, you feel like you can take on the world,” said elementary principal Paul Carolan, “but it’s not about that. It’s about getting a truer sense of who you are by making the space to be more vulnerable — and to do some great learning.”

With the on-going support of the program’s facilitators, the teams return to their schools and begin the challenging work of implementing their ideas. Ed Kaufman, an elementary principal, described the resistance he met from some of his staff members. “Teachers would say to me, ‘we have so many educational things to talk about. Why are we doing activities to build trust?’ It takes time to help people realize that working on our relationships with each other will make the rest of what we do so much more effective and efficient.”

Finally, after several months of doing this work, Kaufman saw that things were starting to shift. “At a staff meeting, we were using one of the Leading Together protocols called ‘Connections’ where people volunteer to share something professional or personal with the rest of the group,” he described, “Normally three or so people participate. This time we had twenty-five people who wanted to share something. I realized that this was a turning point.”

The Rewards of Building Trust

Even though trust-building may seem like an uphill battle, in the end it pays off. For one thing, it lowers teachers’ stress levels. “In the past, I’ve had some very difficult challenges with teachers when they started feeling overwhelmed,” said Carolan. “The angst is still there, but it’s tempered because we’re using the Leading Together protocols to figure it out together.”

Carolan also found that educators participated more in decision-making because they felt their voices were now being heard. “I had so many teachers volunteering to help with our school development plan that I had to pick and choose who would be there,” he said.

Kaufman discovered that he was better able to help teachers develop professionally. “As an administrator, when teachers don’t know or respect you and you push them hard,” he explained, “it can make the relationship less cooperative and congenial. Our work with Leading Together has permitted me to get to know teachers better and have deeper conversations in ways not meant to be negative, but to challenge them to grow and learn.”

Middle school principal Patricia Montimurro felt that the Leading Together practices added years to her life. “I’ve found an inner peace that wasn’t there before,” she said. “When I opened up to slowing down and being present, it made me feel more confident about my work and less concerned about the ‘what ifs’. My staff also saw me become calmer, which helped them be calmer, too.”

In the end, the ultimate beneficiaries are the students. Kaufman found that as his teachers collaborated more with each other, they became more invigorated by their work, which led to more engaging and thought-provoking curriculum for the students. “They also connect better with their students,” he observed, “and they’re more sensitive to their students’ relational issues.”

Ultimately, principals have to realize that building trust doesn’t happen overnight. “This is hard stuff,” said Seigle. “Being in relationship with each other is harder than rocket science. And it’s something that you always have to be working on.”

But, according to Montimurro, the heart of education is trust. “The field of education needs this as much as it needs test results, standards and teacher evaluations,” she explained. “If we’re going to keep good people in education, we need this work because it’s so stressful.”

What Happens When Rich People Marry Poor People

Money is a perpetual topic in married life. The process of combining two bank accounts, and sometimes two incomes, into one pooled set of resources is a fraught one, and it only becomes more so when childrearing and real-estate purchases are added to the mix.