Hasta La Gadget!

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.”
–Thomas Jefferson

Honesty is a facet of moral character, which connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as, integrity, truthfulness, straightforwardness, forthrightness of conduct, with the absence of lying, cheating and exaggerating.

Celebrating ourselves, our relationships, and life itself is not possible without honesty. When we are dishonest with others, we are living a lie with false words, actions and fake images. If we are dishonest, then we are not honoring and celebrating life; rather, we are degrading life. Lying to others is a sure way to put a distance between us and undermine the foundation of all relationships.

On the other hand, being always truthful with others, builds mutual trust and creates a huge sense of openness-cultivating a feeling of safety and comfort. While dishonesty creates only distrust and ultimate isolation. When we take responsibility for our actions and words, which stem from honesty we become stronger in how we feel about ourselves.

When we need to candidly discuss something difficult with another person, we must set aside time to focus on the conversation with keen attention and purpose. During the conversation if you find yourself exaggerating or lying, put a stop to it right away.

Many times we fake attention and interest in a conversation or activity which is painstakingly boring and of no interest to us; it is perfectly fine to excuse ourselves, or change the topic, with due respect. Also, if you catch yourself lying by omission try not to get onto the subject where you feel compelled to lie by omission.

If you have been dishonest about something, apologize for the oversight and put it behind you. Most people will appreciate your honesty. Remove the filters between what you think and what you say. You will notice that you will gain trust and respect from people around you. It is not the most difficult thing to do once you become aware of your thoughts and words. You will not be able to please everyone, but, you will be well-pleased with yourself at the end of the day!

One of the best ways to enrich and deepen the love and integrity of a valuable relationship is to develop the habit of completely honest communications. If honest communication is the norm rather than the exception in our relationships, we are freeing ourselves and others to be authentic.

Practicing honesty, courage and compassion, in our daily lives is how we cultivate worthiness. The key word is practice. For example courage is a virtue. You get it by performing courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. Daily practice after a while becomes a habit. The same is true for honesty. We invite honesty into our lives when we act honestly toward ourselves and others. By making a commitment to be honest consistently and honoring this commitment we can be assured that most will respect us as trustworthy persons with integrity!

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“The days are long, but the years are short.” This quote by Gretchen Rubin summarizes my stage of life perfectly right now. The stage of life when you’re running from dawn to dusk and rarely finding five minutes to take a breath or a seat… the stage of life when you’re cleaning every person and surface around you but forgetting to bathe yourself… the stage of life with a soundtrack of Frozen songs and frequent meltdowns. These are the days of early motherhood, which seem endless sometimes.

On the one day a year when everyone celebrates mothers officially, you can find families showering moms with cards, flowers and lunches. Mother’s Day is also the time when you see more fathers shuttling their kids to the park or to grandma’s house while mom is having a day to herself.

I have friends who have chosen a spa day or solitary getaway in a quest to find that elusive quiet time. They say it recharges them and provides the space and solitude they need to redouble their energy and inspiration. I admit I’ve thought about following in their footsteps. A proper brunch out compared to sharing a bowl of Cheerios with a 3-year-old certainly sounds tempting, as does taking a shower without little hands pounding non-stop on the glass door.

For me, Mother’s Day is a time of reflection. I think about the Mother’s Day with my first daughter when I was excited the holiday finally applied to me. I think about the Mother’s Day after that and how I was pregnant with a baby who ultimately only grew to be 18.5 weeks. And, I think about my own mother and how she gave me the opportunity to be a mother and more.

My husband is a tremendous partner, and I could choose to spend the day on my own. But I’m reminded of my mother’s words to me earlier this year when I was complaining about all the noise and chaos that a house with two girls under age 4 brings.

“The quiet comes soon enough,” my nearly 80-year-old mom offered. She didn’t say it sarcastically or with a judgmental tone. It was delivered in that wise voice which always gives me pause. My mom has cared for three children, seven grandchildren and a spouse, in sickness and in health. She has spent decades managing the cacophony of kids and life. Now, her flock has flown away, and the tiny, white tennis shoes she used to wash before our annual family beach trips have been permanently hung to dry.

My mother squeezes the good out of every day, and she never complains about the solitude or what used to be. She rejoices in others’ joy and has faith that life will turn out as it should. But she will even admit there are days when she longs for the pitter patter of little feet and the din produced by a full house. When she looks out her window, she remembers the words of Robert Louis Stevenson: “And it is but a child of air that lingers in the garden there.”

So this Mother’s Day, give me the noise. Give me the confrontation and commotion. Give me the toddlers and tantrums. Give me the 50 questions before 8:00 a.m. and the “one more book” plea before bed. Give me all the joy and pain that comes with being a mother. Let me feel it stronger on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year. Just follow it with a bottle of champagne — flowers are optional.

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The Taliban have announced that this year’s fighting season begins this week. They have dubbed this year’s operation as Azem, an Arabic word also used in Dari and Pashtu, the two main languages of Afghanistan. Azem means to decide and/or persevere depending on the context. Ever since the Taliban’s resurgence circa 2006, the pattern has been the same. Although the winter inclement weather imposes a lull, sporadic suicide bombings, assassinations and attacks on security forces continue. Many mountain passes between Afghanistan and Pakistan, especially in the east, become impassable as a result of snow fall. Despite the southern Afghan Pakistani border areas typically not being affected by the snow fall, fighting slows down in Kandahar and Helmand also.

This pattern of fighting in Afghanistan is nothing new, but what is noteworthy is that the Afghan National Security Forces (ANSF) will this year face the enemy without the full support of the U.S. and its NATO and other coalition forces. The new NATO mission in Afghanistan called Resolute Support with roughly 13,000 troops has a mostly advisory role. Resolute Support’s mandate also includes assisting and training ANSF. It is conceivable that under the assist clause NATO will occasionally provide direct military support in the form of close air support, communication, intelligence and other areas which ANSF lacks.

Another added dimension to this year’s fighting is the emergence of groups from the ranks of the Taliban who have pledged allegiance to the self-declared Islamic State (IS) terrorizing vast areas in Iraq and Syria. This development has alarmed many people in Afghanistan including some warlords calling on the Afghan President Ashraf Ghani to strengthen ANSF and improve the overall political/economic condition of the country. The Taliban seem to be concerned with the rise of IS also as the old guard fears that their influence could be at stake. Some Afghans look at the rift between the classic Taliban and the new elements beholden to IS as welcome news. They contend that this rift can be exploited to weaken the insurgency as a whole using a “divide and conquer” strategy. The foreign terrorists including some from Uzbekistan who have been active in Northern Afghanistan are now calling themselves followers of IS or Daesh as they are called in Arabic speaking countries and Afghanistan. The Afghan (classic) Taliban recently for the first time published Mullah Omar’s biography which is a departure from their past practice. The reclusive and publicity-shy Mullah Omar, has not been seen in public for over a decade. It is believed that the Taliban are concerned about the IS outreach into their turf. And the reason for this publicity is to reassure the foot soldiers, mid-level commanders and other followers that he is still relevant and in charge of the Taliban movement.

The security situation has taken center stage at the Afghan parliament’s lower house or the Wolosy Jirga. The Interior minister along with the high ranking officials from the defense ministry and the intelligence services were summoned last week to testify on the recent security developments. The Interior Minister, Ulomi reassured the parliamentarians that ANSF is ready to deal with the challenges. He stated that the ANSF have been given clear orders to deal mercilessly with the insurgents regardless of their affiliation and national origin. Mr. Ulomi also announced a number of measures relative to the badly needed reforms within the national police structure. This fighting season will test the willingness and the capability of the all-volunteer Afghan security forces. One of the major challenges facing the Afghan government is the high attrition rate of the forces, among others including low morale, inadequate education and training. The international community led by the U.S. is footing the bill to pay for ANSF to the tune of about $4 billion per year. We will have to see what Afghanistan, the U.S. and others will get in return.

Afghanistan was a viable nation state prior to 1978. Along with other attributes of a viable nation state, she was able to pay for its defense needs through a conscript army and police force from all tribes and ethnic groups made possible by a legitimate government. This can be a model for the Afghan current government to follow, but this requires a political correction to once again legitimize the government in the eyes of the disaffected rank and file Afghans.

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Everyone is free to believe (or not believe) whatever they want. There are too many religions to choose from and many of them contradict each other. So how should one decide what to believe? If you’re looking for a religion, here are six suggestions that are much more fun and in some ways make more sense than the mainstream ones.

1. Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster – These guys are pretty legit. They have their own gospel, which delves into how the universe was created by an invisible flying spaghetti monster around 5,000 years ago. Given that 4 out of 10 Americans believe god created Earth 10,000 years ago, it’s not that far fetched. To be honest, I would feel better if hotels left a bowl of pasta on the night stand instead of a bible. It’s at least more useful.

Their sacred head gear is a colander. In 2013, a Texas pastafarian won the battle at DMV and became the first in the U.S. to wear one in his license photo. Last year, Councilman Christopher Schaeffer of Pomfret, N.Y., took his oath wearing a colander on his head. It may be just a matter of time before we have a pastafarian president.

2. United Church of Bacon – This church was founded in 2010 and yes, they believe bacon is their god. I’ve got to admit, bacon would be a cool substitute for the lame communion wafers. In all seriousness, they have raised more than $200,000 in tw years for various noteworthy charities. Praise the lard!

They also carry out various church services including performing legal weddings. For selfish reasons, I would like this church to merge with pastafarians. It’s a natural fit and would make a delicious combination. Not to mention it would simplify the wedding dinner menu for people getting married in their churches.

3. Church of Cannabis – This was an awesome side effect to the Indiana’s religious freedom law that was created with the sole intention of discriminating against homosexuals. They have 12 commandments. The first one is “Don’t be an asshole. Treat everyone with love as an equal”. Cannabis is their sacrament and is part of their doctrine. I strongly feel these churches complement each other. Why not have a plate of carbonara with bacon before having a “brownie”?

Although this is a “young” religion, their roots are from the THC Ministry founded in the year 2000. They believe “cannabis sacrament is a fundamental human right provided by God and protected by the constitution”. There are serious debates about marijuana prohibition being unconstitutional. I say let’s replace handguns with doobies, that ought to make people get along better.

4. Temple of the Invisible Pink Unicorn – They believe in one unicorn, you know, the pink invisible one. It is a being of great spiritual power. They even have a holy relic, it’s the Holy Sock of Bob. Their manifesto states “Like all religions, the Faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that she is pink; we logically know that she is invisible because we can’t see her.”

While I can’t argue with that belief or logic, I do think that if you “religiously” followed the Church of Cannabis, the pink unicorn might make an appearance. However this does call for a certain level of devotion.

5. Church of Jedi – This started in 2001 when there was an email campaign that urged people to write “Jedi” as their religion on that year’s census. It worked and now there are established Jedi churches where they can perform legal weddings. I wish I can attend one of these, it’s got to be fun. “Do you Jedi ______ take Jedi _______ to be your husband…? In forces of darkness and forces of light, wherever you may go and whatever you may face, do you promise to share your life in marriage?”

In April 2015, over 200,000 Turkish students signed a petition to build a Jedi temple. This was in response to an increase in the number of mosques on campus. “To recruit new Jedi and to bring balance to the Force, we want a Jedi temple,” the petition claims. Sounds very reasonable, doesn’t it?

6. Church of Google – I have to admit, this church’s logic is pretty solid and slightly scary. According to them, Google is the closest thing to an omniscient and omnipresent entity. It is infinite, potentially immortal and remembers everything!

There are multiple sites that promote Googlism. I especially enjoyed reading their Ten Commandments and official prayers. Of course they also have the Lord ‘s Prayer in binary format. Personally I like this version:

Our Google, which art on servers,
Hallowed be thy page;
Thy domain come,
Thy search be done,
On Chrome as it is in the cloud.
Give us this day our daily lolcats
And forgive our trolling,
As we forgive those who troll against us;
And lead us not into spam,
But deliver us from malware. RAMen.

So which one are you going to choose?

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If the thought of spending hours with a hobby knife, glue, and more patience than a saint doesn’t sound like a fun way to spend an evening, you’ll probably want to move along. Because it’s completely up to you to turn the six pages in this papercraft kit into a robot that actually transforms into a paper car.

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