Hasta La Gadget!

Going out for ice cream isn’t cheap these days. As The New York Times notes, it’s not uncommon to pay $4 for a small scoop without any toppings. Add some “organic whipped cream, sustainable strawberries and French bittersweet chocolate chunks,” and you’re in double digits territory before you know it.

But just how much is too much? How about $817 for a scoop!

This isn’t fantasy. This is real life. According to Business Insider, a shop in Dubai called Scoopi Cafe serves an $817 scoop called the “Black Diamond,” and BI reports it is “considered to be the most expensive ice cream in the world.” It’d better be!

The Black Diamond is a scoop of Madagascar vanilla ice cream topped with Italian truffles, Iranian saffron and edible 23-karat gold flakes. The ice cream is served in a Versace bowl, which anyone who orders the Black Diamond can keep.

Though we couldn’t immediately turn up evidence of a pricier single scoop, the title of “most expensive ice cream” doesn’t seem entirely settled. News outlets including AOL and The Telegraph are hedging reports with words like “may be” and “might be.” “May?” If there’s a pricer ice cream out there, show your face! (On second thought, please don’t: The $1,000 sundae from Chicago’s Lanhgam Hotel is enough already.)

According to Business Insider, only two Black Diamonds have sold so far. Could there be a third person in the world willing to pay this much? Scoopi shop owner Zubin Doshi seems to think so. Doshi told Arabian Business that “Popular ice-cream products in the city are priced lower, but we expect Dubai’s increasingly aspirational consumers to readily pay a premium for a superior product.”

That’s one seriously aspirational consumer.

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If your cat enjoys watching “Mad Men,” scratching expensive things or sipping on mocktails, this special kitty condo is the perfect new pad.

The fancy, martini-shaped scratching post is 4 feet high and 65 pounds of pure, made-to-order purrfection. The color and the shape of the martini glass opening can be customized, so dear kitty can curl up in a clover, dolphin or rocket-shaped cubby. Not only will this condo double as decor, it will likely make all the cats in the neighborhood want to come over.

The Martini Condo is unquestionably priceless, but since everything has a fee, it’s been priced at a mere $799. You can order your own from the Hollywood Kitty Company. Watch a bunch of cool cats enjoy their time on the martini playset in the gifs and video below.

It’s perfect for playdates and, well, cat naps.

YouTube/Hollywood Kitty Co

Oh, it’ll make any kitty feel alive!

YouTube/Hollywood Kitty Co

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Photo credit: 1 Fine Cookie

From the day we’re born into this world, we’re taught we won’t get any where in life without hard work. These are wise, if not somewhat annoying, words — and they couldn’t ring more true than when confronted with the gloriously brilliant homemade Doritos Locos Taco recipe by food blogger 1 Fine Cookie.

Folks, this recipe is not for the faint of heart. You have to really want to make a copy of Taco Bell’s infamous Doritos Locos Taco to dedicate yourself to this recipe. There are many, many spices required. You’ll have to get your hands on more than one kind of powdered cheese. And you will need to be okay with deep frying. It’s a lot, we know. But you are, after all, making your own tortilla.

All that hard work is well spent because it will earn you a Doritos Locos Taco that the recipe inventor’s friends say is even closer in flavor to the chip than Taco Bell’s version. You’ll also have the unique pleasure of knowing exactly what’s in the bright orange taco shell, plus the ability to pronounce all the ingredients in said taco with confidence.

Bonus: you can make (er, eat) as many as you of these tacos as you want from the comfort of your own kitchen. No one will judge you for putting down a dozen, which — fair warning — you’re going to want to do considering how addictive they are.

Get the recipe for the homemade Doritos Locos Taco recipe from 1 Fine Cooking and see for yourself.

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By Jerry Zezima

Since becoming a grandfather two years ago, I’ve really been on a roll. But nothing could top taking my granddaughter, Chloe, to Washington, D.C., for the White House Easter Egg Roll.

On Easter Sunday, I (known to Chloe as Poppie) drove from Long Island, New York, to the nation’s capital with my wife, Sue (Nini); our younger daughter, Lauren (Mommy); and, of course, Chloe (Chloe). We stayed with our older daughter, Katie (Aunt Katie), and her husband, Dave (Uncle Dave), who live and work in Washington.

Katie, a Washington Post reporter who until recently had covered the White House (she’s now on the campaign trail for the paper), got four tickets to the Easter Egg Roll, a national tradition dating back to the administration of Rutherford B. Hayes, whose wife, known as Lemonade Lucy, banned alcoholic beverages from the White House. In keeping with a family tradition, Katie and Dave had them at their house.

The next day — which was 75 degrees and sunny, with a refreshing breeze and no humidity, a rarity in D.C. — Chloe, Lauren, Sue and I showed up at the waiting area, tickets in hand and ready to roll.

We had plenty of company. Over the course of the day, which began at 7:30 a.m., about 35,000 people converged on the White House grounds. We were in the last group — our time slot was 4:45-6:45 p.m. — but the line was still so long that we must have been in a different ZIP code.

At the checkpoint, Sue and Lauren had to empty their pocketbooks.

“I don’t carry a pocketbook,” I told one of the agents.

“That’s OK, sir,” he responded. “Empty your pockets.”

He went through my wallet.

“Please don’t harm the moths,” I said.

He kept a straight face and handed it back to me.

Even Chloe’s bag was searched.

“Those diapers aren’t mine,” I noted.

I’m surprised I wasn’t arrested.

As we waited in line, Lauren asked an Egg Roll volunteer named Sheila if Peppa Pig, Chloe’s favorite cartoon character, was still there.

“Yes,” Sheila replied.

“How about President and Mrs. Obama?” I asked.

“They were here this morning,” Sheila said.

“My granddaughter won’t mind,” I said. “She’ll be more excited to see Peppa.”

At that point, Chloe wasn’t excited about anything. In fact, she was sleeping in her stroller.

A volunteer named Jean offered to write Lauren’s phone number on Chloe’s wrist band in case Chloe got lost.

“I’m always being told to get lost,” I said. “Will you put my wife’s phone number on my wrist band?”

“No,” said Jean. “Nobody in your family is going to come and get you.”

I felt sorry for Jean, who said she had been there since the gates opened that morning. “It’s been a long day,” she said wearily. “After this, I’m going home and having a cocktail.”

“Where do you live?” I asked. “We’ll join you.”

“Come on over,” Jean said.

After about 45 minutes, we finally reached the South Lawn of the White House, which was swarming with excited kids, costumed characters, friendly volunteers, awestruck parents and one confused grandfather.

The star of the show — Chloe, of course — woke up as we approached the Egg Roll area. I had the honor of accompanying her.

A volunteer named Carolyn handed Chloe a wooden spoon so she could roll an orange hard-boiled egg down a grassy lane about 10 yards long. There were several other lanes, each with a spoon-wielding child and an adult.

The race was on. Or it would have been if I hadn’t dropped the egg in front of Chloe and across the starting line before the whistle blew.

“I cheated, didn’t I?” I said sheepishly.

“Yes, you did,” Carolyn replied.

Then she blew the whistle. The crowd roared.

“Come on, Chloe!” I cried, showing her how to roll the egg with her wooden spoon.

She’s only 2, so she didn’t quite get the hang of it at first, but she figured it out in pretty short order and — with help from Poppie — made her way toward the finish line. Sue and Lauren cheered her on.

Chloe didn’t win, but she got the ultimate compliment from Carolyn: “We saved the best for last.”

Only one thing could have been better — a photo op with Peppa Pig. Sure enough, the pink porker and her younger brother, George, were greeting their little fans in the shadow of the South Portico. Chloe hugged them both and posed for pictures.

At day’s end, she was back in her stroller, holding a commemorative wooden egg signed by the Obamas’ dogs, Bo and Sunny.

The little girl had the time of her life. So did I because, as Chloe would agree, that’s the way Poppie rolls.

Stamford Advocate humor columnist Jerry Zezima is the author of “Leave It to Boomer” and “The Empty Nest Chronicles.” Visit his blog at www.jerryzezima.blogspot.com. Email: JerryZ111@optonline.net.

Copyright 2015 by Jerry Zezima

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When we said our wedding vows or made our commitments to our partners we never imagined that one day we’d be facing separation and divorce. We never imagined having to date again. That was my experience anyway. Yet, after the ending of a 20-year marriage, I picked up the pieces again, licked my wounds and decided that I did want to date again however weird and uncomfortable it might feel to do so in the beginning.

I’ve experienced the highs and the lows, the laugher and the tears and I’m glad I did because I met someone new and we’re very happy together thank you very much! How different my life now feels.

So what did I learn and what words of wisdom can I share with you if you’re feeling awkward, unsure, or frankly terrified? Here are a handful of things I came to realize whilst dating after my divorce.

• Decide what you want to get out of online dating. If you’re looking for a partner, be honest with yourself and make that clear in your profile. If you’re looking for friendship and a bit of fun, say that too. There is no point in falling for someone who’s looking for different things than you. It’s just not going to work and you’ll end up hurt and disillusioned.
• Know your values, even before you’ve completed your first online dating profile. What’s important to you? What do you look for in life and in a relationship. This isn’t about a list of requirements expected of a potential date by the way! This is about you and what you hold dear.
• Enjoy yourself, have fun! Some people treat their dating as another career! Lighten up, enjoy the process. Don’t take it or yourself too seriously and you’ll meet some great people along the way.
• Take nothing personally. This is really important. You can read all the horror stories online … remember good stories tend not to sell as well as bad ones! You’ll be approached by people who’ve not really read your profile, you’ll be contacted by people who are rude, you’ll be liked and winked at all the time. Take nothing personally. You get to choose who you’d like to respond to or approach. Remember too that many you contact won’t respond (if good manners are one of your core values this will be a challenge!) Simply move on!
• Have the right positive attitude before spending your time on dating websites. If you go into it with a heavy, bruised heart with negative inner dialogue you’re going to struggle. At the same time don’t go into it naively imagining that you’ll meet your ideal match immediately. These things take time.
• Write a compelling and irresistible profile. So many profiles are bland and boring so it’s actually easy to stand out from the crowd and it’ll make all the difference to your experience. (I’m here to help too, it’s what I love doing.)
• Be truthful at all times. If you’re 50 don’t say you’re 40. If you smoke and get no exercise don’t say that you’re into healthy living. It might seem obvious but you’d be amazed! Honesty is one of my core values and the foundation for a good relationship.
• If you’re nervous about meeting up, spend time emailing and letter writing. It’s what my partner and I did and it was wonderful to see our relationship develop as we asked questions of each other ranging from the lighthearted to the more penetrating.
• Be open minded. You never know what you might learn about yourself and life by dating someone you’d not have looked at in your past relationships! There is a richness added to life when we step out of our comfort zones.
• Invest in some excellent photographs of you looking relaxed, happy and at ease. It will make all the difference … NO selfies.

What positive things have you learned from online dating in midlife?

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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