Derrick Gordon Says He Encountered 'Blatant Homophobia' In His Attempt To Transfer Schools

The first openly gay Division college basketball player is moving on and speaking out.

UMass guard Derrick Gordon announced Sunday that he’s transferring to Seton Hall, but he told USA Today he encountered plenty of discrimination along the way in his inquiries to potential new schools.

“During the recruiting process, a number of schools didn’t want me because I’m gay,” Gordon said. “To me, that’s blatant homophobia. At the end of the day, no coaches will ever admit that they don’t want me because I’m gay and there’s baggage that comes with the attention.”

He added that the reaction of many programs caught him off guard and left him hurt. “I was starting to lose hope,” he told the paper. “I felt like I was being treated like an outsider, like I didn’t belong in the NCAA.” Gordon didn’t specify any universities.

Gordon came out in April 2014, saying he was inspired to do so by Jason Collins, the NBA’s first openly gay player. But a recent survey found homophobia is still pervasive in the U.S., as well as in many other English-speaking countries.

Last season, as a guard for UMass, Gordon started all 32 games and averaged 9.8 points, 4.9 rebounds and 2.7 assists per game.

Gordon told USA Today he had no issues with the way he was treated at UMass, calling the decision to transfer basketball-motivated. The Huffington Post reached out to Seton Hall, but the school said it couldn’t comment until the transfer is official.

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First Amendment Lawsuit Says Student Was Punished for Wearing a T-shirt Advocating Gun Rights

By Mark Keierleber

Near the entrance of Logan Middle School is a statue called “The Doughboy” — a World War I soldier carrying a firearm in one hand, and in the other a grenade.

The bronze figure is indicative of West Virginia’s gun culture. As is the state flag — which features two firearms — and West Virginia University’s mascot, the musket-toting Mountaineer.

But when an eighth-grade Logan Middle School student refused to remove his National Rifle Association T-shirt because a teacher said it violated the dress code, he was suspended. In response, the student’s mother has filed a federal lawsuit against the Logan County Board of Education and 10 employees, arguing the punishment violated the student’s First Amendment rights.

“People just don’t take well to others that are from outside the area telling the community what’s appropriate and what’s not based upon thing that have happened in other areas,” said Benjamin White, the attorney who represents the student and his mother. “In West Virginia, firearms are a way of life.”

On April 18, 2013, student Jared Marcum, who was 14 at the time, wore a T-shirt with the NRA logo and a hunting rifle that said “PROTECT YOUR RIGHT.” While waiting in the lunch line at the school’s cafeteria, the school secretary said the shirt violated the school’s dress code and instructed Marcum to turn it inside out or face suspension, according to the complaint filed last month in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of West Virginia. When two other teachers agreed the shirt violated the dress code, he was escorted to the principal’s office.

At that point, the police had already been called, White said. With teachers and Marcum in the same room, White said the student kept speaking over teachers and administrators when they tried to tell police their side of the story. Because Marcum wouldn’t be quiet, police charged him with obstructing an officer. He also received a one-day out-of-school suspension.

Although a Logan County Circuit Court judge dropped the criminal charges on June 27, 2013, White said the suspension remains on his disciplinary record. On April 25, White received a letter from the school district that says Marcum was suspended because of his “inappropriate behavior with educators in authority,” not because of his T-shirt.

“This kid is a member of the NRA, he is passionate about his right to own firearms, and some person that has an opposite belief tells him to turn it inside out because it’s against a rule that doesn’t exist,” White said, adding that Marcum hopes to join the military following graduation. “The whole issue here is the teacher didn’t understand the rules.”

Had school officials reacted differently, White said, the whole situation could have been avoided.

“Should have the eighth grader kept trying to tell his side of the story?” White said. “No, but how does he know he’s going to be given a chance?”

Shana Thompson, the school board’s attorney, was not available for comment Friday. Requests to speak with school officials about the case were not granted.

According to the complaint, Marcum’s shirt complied with the school’s student/parent handbook, which prohibited clothing that displayed profanity, violence, discriminatory messages or sexually suggestive phrases. The policy also banned clothing that advertised alcohol, tobacco or drug products.

“Unless it says ‘bring this gun and kill somebody,’ then that I think would fall under the language, but it’s a Second Amendment ‘protect your rights’ [message] and it shows a hunting rifle,” White said. “I can’t imagine anybody believing this particular shirt would be against that policy.”

In 2004, a Virginia middle school student settled a similar lawsuit against the Albemarle County School Board after his principal required him to wear his “NRA Sports Shooting Camp” T-shirt inside out.

Along with removing the suspension from Marcum’s record, the lawsuit seeks $250,000 in punitive damages and $200,000 in damages for “embarrassment and humiliation, mental distress and for damages related to the indignities visited upon him.” White said he hopes the suit will also force an apology.

“I’m not saying my client is innocent, but he’s certainly not guilty of obstructing an officer, he’s not guilty of wearing a shirt that’s against the policy,” White said. “I guess he’s guilty of standing up for his freedom of speech and Second Amendment rights.”

This post originally appeared on the SPLC blog.

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Think Your Kid Is Getting Exercise at Dance Class? Think Again

When you send your kid to dance class, it’s reasonable to think that not only are they learning how to dance, but that they are getting exercise. Most parents think that way; dance class certainly gets mentioned when I ask parents in my practice what their children do for exercise.

Not so much, says a study just published in the journal Pediatrics.

Researchers studied 264 girls — 154 children and 110 adolescents — taking dance class in 17 private studios and four community centers in the San Diego area. They found that the girls averaged only 17 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous physical activity each class.

In retrospect, I do remember that when I used to pick my daughter up from dance class she was rarely, if ever, sweaty. Guess that should have been a red flag.

Younger girls were more active than adolescents, which I found interesting — I think of adolescents as being more intense about dance class. They also found that of the different kinds of dance classes they studied (ballet, tap, jazz, partnered dance, hip-hop, Latin flamenco and Latin salsa and ballet foklorico), kids at the hip-hop ones were most active.

This isn’t necessarily a big deal if the point of the dance class really is just to learn the dance and if your kids are active in other ways. But if it’s all your kid does for exercise outside of school, well, it is kind of a big deal. Seventeen minutes isn’t going to cut it for cardiovascular health and staying at a healthy weight.

Oh, and that exercise at school thing? For most schools, that’s a “not so much” thing too. In fact, another study in the same journal found that preschoolers at 10 childcare centers in Seattle spent less than a half hour a day being moderately-to-vigorously active. This is preschool, which we think of as mostly playtime.

For me as a pediatrician, the take-home is that parents need to a) choose activities and programs carefully, and b) not take it for granted that their kids are active where and when they would expect them to be, and c) need to be really proactive about getting their kids active.

Shut off the TV, send them outside to play if you’ve got a yard, bring them to the park, sign them up for sports, go for family walks and bike rides. Honestly, exercise is what makes all the difference when it comes to health now and in the future — and the habits we learn in childhood tend to stick with us.

Don’t leave it up to dance class — or gym class. It’s up to you.

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Donald Trump Will End Outsourcing If President

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At the South Carolina Freedom Summit, Donald Trump said that he would impose a hefty 35% tariff on American multinational corporations like Ford Motor Company, in order to stop outsourcing to China and elsewhere. According to the Economic Policy Institute, between 2001 and 2013 the U.S. trade deficit with China cost 3.2 million jobs, with the majority of the losses coming from the manufacturing sector.

Flirting with a 2016 presidential bid, Trump is striking a populist chord with his stance on trade, and it’s a departure from that of the Republican establishment and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce. Both have been working with the Obama administration to push through a massive trade deal with Asia, the Trans-Pacific Partnership.

Trump’s stance is surprising, not only because of his background in business, but because it would reverse 30+ years of U.S. trade policy. Instituting such a policy reversal would be a Herculean if not impossible task, requiring the eradication of the neoliberal economic orthodoxy ingrained in the DNA of Washington.

Touching on the TPP, Trump said:

China is ripping us off and abusing us because we have leaders that don’t know what they’re doing, and the new trade pact is a disaster because they don’t talk about currency manipulation.

In a further break from the GOP, Trump decried the outsize influence of money in politics. With a personal fortune estimated at $4.1 billion, he said that he would “do the right thing” because he doesn’t need money from lobbyists or donors.

Watch the exchange in the video below, and subscribe to The Undercurrent on YouTube for more independent, on-the-ground political reporting…

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Mitt Romney Reminds Grads To 'Live A Large Life,' But Not By Seeking 'Fame And Fortune'

Mitt Romney encouraged graduates at Saint Anselm College in Goffstown, New Hampshire, on Sunday to “live a large life.”

Romney, the former Massachusetts governor and Republican presidential candidate, was quick to note that living a large life didn’t mean getting rich and famous, however. He reminded graduates during his commencement address there are more important things they should focus on to lead a “fulfilling, purposeful life,” like making sure they “value and nourish” friendships.

  • “I remember sitting in a business class, looking around the room and thinking to myself that I’d probably never see any of these guys again after I graduated. All my attention was focused on what was being taught. But you know what, I’ve forgotten almost everything that was taught; it’s the classmates I remember, and it’s those friends that I value most today. Forty years since my graduation, the guys in my six-person study group continue to get together. We’ve congratulated one another on our highs and consoled one another on our lows.”

He emphasized the benefits of having a family he cares for deeply.

  • “Marriage involves passion, conflict, emotion, fear, hope, compromise and understanding — in short; it is living to the max. … I’m not sure whether having five sons qualifies as a full quiver, but I can affirm that they brought immeasurable happiness. And to my point, they engaged Ann and me in life, in ways we would not have expected.

Romney encouraged grads to work hard, but cautioned against seeking “fame and fortune.”

  • “More importantly, if your life is lived for those things, yours will be a shallow and unfulfilling journey. The real wealth in life is in your friendships, your marriage, your children, what you have learned in your work, what you have overcome, your relationship with God, and in what you have contributed to others. … Work engages you in life. You come to know more people, to understand their motivations and values, and to learn the intricacies of the enterprise that employs you. Dive in. Get more from your job than the paycheck. Hard work is living large.”

Romney talked about serving as pastor at his church and learning that many of the families who he thought seemed perfect had their own problems.

  • “To my surprise, almost every single family faced one kind of challenge or another. They all had a bag of rocks behind their backs. We all will hurt. … Engaging in your world means accepting that hurt, confronting it, and endeavoring to ascend above it so that you can keep pursuing a fulfilling and abundant life. … I have experienced successes and failures. I am asked what it felt like to lose to President Obama. Well, not as good as winning. Failures aren’t fun, but they are inevitable. More importantly, failures don’t have to define who you are.

And the former presidential and U.S. Senate candidate also advised grads to help others.

  • Living life in fullness includes serving others, and doing so without pride or personal gain. It will fill your heart and expand your mind.”

Romney received an honorary degree during the commencement exercises, and joked about his own travels to New Hampshire in the presidential campaigns he ultimately lost.

“When I think of all the times I have been here at Saint Anselm, for debates, forums, town meetings, and rallies, I might argue that it is an earned degree,” he said. “But to get one of those, I guess I’d have had to win!”

But Romney later encouraged graduates to consider running for office, or at least to serve and work to improve the country in some way.

“Most of you probably won’t run for office, but the country needs all of you to serve,” Romney said. “America faces daunting challenges: generational poverty, looming debt, a warming climate and a world that is increasingly dangerous and tumultuous. Washington appears inept, powerless and without an effective strategy to overcome any of these. America needs your passion, your impatience with inaction, your participation in the political discourse.”

Watch the full speech in the video above.

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9 Ski Resort Bloody Marys To Try

Ah, the Bloody Mary: that spicy, savory, tomato juice-based, vodka-laced drink that is enjoyed with such relish (literal and figurative relish) during brunch, on a ski break or as a hangover remedy. Few “classic” cocktails have as colorful past as the Bloody Mary, which has been enjoyed for more than 80 years.

History of the Bloody Mary
The first iteration showed up in Paris at Harry’s New York Bar in the 1920s. This combination of vodka and canned tomato juice was known as a “Bucket of Blood.” When the drink was brought to the St. Regis Hotel in New York around 1933, it was lauded as a hangover cure and called the “Red Snapper” (you can still belly up to the bar there and order an original Red Snapper). It’s not certain when bars started calling the drink “Bloody Mary,” a reference to Queen Mary I of England and Ireland, who took it as her personal mission to rid the country of Protestants, but recipes for drinks named “Bloody Mary” can be found in print starting in 1946.

These days, anyone can enjoy a Bloody Mary for breakfast, lunch or whenever the mood strikes. While the original recipe is fairly simple (vodka, tomato juice, lemon juice, salt, pepper, cayenne pepper and Worcestershire sauce), bartenders and restaurants alike have taken the drink and made it their own, spicing it up with Sriracha or adding enough garnish to make the Bloody a meal in and of itself.

Perhaps one of the most refreshing places to enjoy a Bloody Mary is at a ski resort. There’s something about the combination of spice and veggie, cut with smooth and (sometimes flavored) vodka, which makes it a perfect beverage for a mid-morning ski break-especially if you partied a bit too hardy the night before. However, the restorative powers of the snack-bar selection of garnish are equally as pleasurable at après. Here are some of the most interesting–and tasty–Bloody Marys that are popping up at ski resorts around the country.

1. The “I Heart Italia” Bloody Mary

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PHOTO: @annw00 on Twitter

Jackson Hole Resort, WY
Be prepared to say “Ciao, bella!” to this Italian-inspired Bloody Mary when it arrives at your table at Il Villaggio Osteria at the base of Jackson Hole Resort. This version features inspires “La Dolce Vita” with a large selection of Italian style foods as garnish, from skewers of charcuterie to pickled vegetables, house-made meatballs and a mini caprese salad.

View Jackson Hole Resort lift tickets.

2. Bloodys, Bloodys, Everywhere

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Timberline Lodge Ski Resort, OR
Not content with just one Bloody Mary option, the Market Café at Timberline Ski Resort in Mount Hood, Oregon, offers six signature Bloody Marys, plus a build-your-own Bloody Mary menu which includes choices of five flavors and five infusions (with limited edition infusions that change each season), plus a “food bloody” on Sundays, which is themed for sports and holidays and features garnishes of everything from shrimp to sliders. If you’re too overwhelmed with the selection or suffer from an inability to make a decision, order a flight and enjoy three mini Bloody Marys of your choice.

View Timberline lift tickets.

3. The “I Don’t Like Bloody Marys” Bloody Mary

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Whiteface Mountain, NY
For those who claim that they don’t like Bloody Marys, head to Whiteface Mountain in New York. Perhaps it’s the splash of pickle juice that makes this version so tasty; maybe it’s the homemade spicy Dilly Beans. Whatever it is, this version is lauded by guests and locals as one of the best on the planet. Which is good, because there’s a bar on Jupiter that claims to have the best in the solar system.

View Whiteface Mountain lift tickets.

4. My Deer Bloody

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Whiteface Mountain, NY
Too tame for you? Walk on the wild side and head to KANU Lounge at Whiteface Lodge in Lake Placid for a more “manly” version. The “My Deer Bloody” puts a Bambi-spin on the classic cocktail, incorporating teriyaki venison jerky-infused Jack Daniels, truffle salt on the rim, and truffle pop corn a venison stick as garnish.

View Whiteface Mountain lift tickets.

5. Best Bloody in a Jar

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Squaw Valley, CA
Good things come in jars: peanut butter, moonshine and those cute hot chocolate mix things that you get for Christmas. However, one of the best things that comes in a jar is the Signature Bloody Mary at Rocker@Squaw. Made with Hanger One Chipotle Vodka, house-made spicy Bloody Mary mix, floated with Guinness (!) and served in a glass mason jar with all the fixing (think: bacon, celery, cherry tomatoes, blue cheese, lemon wedges and a peppered rim), this Signature Bloody Mary is perfect for sipping mountainside under the Sierra sun–no banjos required.

View Squaw Valley lift tickets.

6 & 7. The “Classic with a Twist” Bloody Mary

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Aspen, Colorado
Remember how the first Bloody Mary was served at the St. Regis in New York? They’re still at it. The Bloody Mary remains the signature cocktail of the St. Regis brand, but each St. Regis hotel crafts its own interpretation of the libation. At the St. Regis Aspen Resort, the “Downhill Snapper” is served, an herbaceous concoction with dill and basil mixed with local vodka from Woody Creek Distillers.

View Aspen Snowmass lift tickets.

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Deer Valley, Utah
At the St. Regis Deer Valley, the “7452 Mary,” (a nod to the resort’s altitude) is a blend of oat-distilled Vodka 7000 from local High West Distillery and a regional salt rim garnished with a Wasabi-Celery foam.

View Deer Valley lift tickets.

8. The Bacon Bloody Mary

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Arapahoe Basin, Colorado
Few Bloody Marys have as rabid a fan base as ABasin’s. Whether it’s the fact that you can order one before or after skiing well into spring (the Basin has been known to stay open until July 4 in some years), or simply the plethora of pig in this drink, the fans are vocal about their love of the Bloody that’s offered at the 6th Alley Bar.

Bacon infused vodka is mixed with secret ingredients and topped with a bacon garnish in this concoction that has been named the “Best Bloody Mary in Summit County, Colorado.” To further reinforce the fact that this Bloody is perfect on a ski day, Arapahoe Basin even has a lift ticket deal that includes a voucher for the famous Bacon Bloody Mary. All hail the Queen.

View Arapahoe Basin lift tickets.

9. The “Don’t Call Me Mary” Bloody Caesar

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Whistler Blackcomb, British Columbia
Those crazy Canadians are always starting something, including renaming the Bloody Mary after another (not-by-his-choice) bloody ruler: Caesar. The Bloody Caesar appeared in 1969 in Calgary, Alberta and is the national drink of Canada.

Made with Clamato instead of straight tomato juice, the Caesar is follows the rest of the ingredients pretty closely, including a laundry list of garnishes like olives, lemon, lime, pickled gherkins (those little mini pickles), pickled green beans, mini pickled onions and bacon. However, locals tell us that this ‘meal in a mug’ is saltier and more drinkable than a regular Bloody Mary making it the best choice for an après, avant or in-between ski-day drink. We recommend you try it at the Garibaldi Lift Company (GLC) at Whistler Blackcomb.

View Whistler Blackcomb lift tickets.

By Katie Coakley / @KatieCoakley

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White-On-White Crime Strikes Again In Waco

Following a spate of white-on-white violence over the weekend in Waco, Texas, that claimed nine lives and resulted in scores of casualties and over 190 arrests, there has been a marked lack of interest in talking about where the event fits into the epidemic of such white criminal behavior in the U.S. — despite the fact that white people commit more homicides on an annual basis than any other race.

In recent years, a national pattern has begun to emerge in the wake of shootings in which a black man is killed by a white man. Of course the death is a tragedy, goes the narrative, but the dead man probably provoked the killing somehow — and more importantly, if you truly care about young black men, why aren’t you more concerned about black-on-black violence?

The same pattern doesn’t hold even when white-on-white crime unfolds in full view of the nation, as it did in the parking lot of the Twin Peaks Restaurant on Sunday.

Yet white-on-white crime should be a huge concern — because it’s out of control. Granted, there are 192 thugs off the streets for the time being, but what about the rest of them?

Around 83 percent of white victims in 2011 were killed by other whites, based on the most recent FBI homicide data.

As many as 3,172 white people were killed in 2011 — and 2,630 of them lost their lives at the hands of another white person. This is compared to 2,695 black people, 2,447 of whom were killed by another black person.

Whites lead when it comes to gang violence too: 53.3 percent of gang-related murders between 1980 and 2008 were committed by white people, according to the Justice Department, compared to 42.2 percent committed by blacks. Victims of gang-related violence were also mostly white.

For HuffPost Black Voices, comedian Kerry Coddett asks some important questions about why such horrid violence plaguing the white community can’t be reeled in:

In 2013, whites led all other groups in aggravated assault, larceny-theft, arson, weapons-carrying, and vandalism. When it comes to sexual assault, whites take the forcible rape cake. They are also more likely to kill children, the elderly, family members, their significant others, and even themselves! They commit more sex-related crimes, gang related crimes, and are more likely to kill at their places of employment. In 2013, an estimated 10,076 people died in the U.S. due to drunk driving crashes. Driving while drunk is almost exclusively a white crime because everyone knows black people prefer to drink on their porches or inside their homes.

So why is white on white crime so prevalent, one may ask? Is it the music they listen to? Is it the white divorce rate, resulting in more white children coming from broken homes? Perhaps it’s the TV shows they watch or the violent sports they play. More than likely, it is a combination of all of those things, with the exact root cause unclear. What is clear, though, is that not enough people are talking about the crime plaguing the white community. We need to spread the word, holding protests and demonstrations that call attention to this growing matter. Because, after all — white lives matter, too.

It’s time for a national conversation on how we can help these people alleviate crime rates in their community — I mean, where are the fathers? — and it’s time for responsible white Americans to step up and condemn the violence.

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In Thanks to Garo: Football, Family and Our Longest Game

The passing of Garo Yepremian marks for me a death of another kind, the losing battle of families to football and a Christmas we should never forget.

Yepremian’s 37-yard field goal on December 25, 1971, ended the longest game in NFL history, a double-overtime heart-stopper between my cherished Miami Dolphins and AFC rival Kansas City Chiefs. It also pitted family against sport as my father and his boys ignored the pleas of my grandmother, mother and sisters to come to a cooling Christmas dinner.

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I thank Garo for helping us and a million others get to their over-done turkeys. He deserved better. Yepremian, an all-star placekicker, is more often remembered for his awkward and intercepted pass, not a kick. It happened in the 1973 Super Bowl and the result nearly derailed the Dolphins historic 17-0 perfect season.

In as much as sport, and the NFL in particular, is said to have corrupted American culture, the epic 1971 tilt might be enshrined as the day that football crept permanently into our kitchens and living rooms. Some delight in the currency that football offers for friendly, apolitical and largely harmless banter among family and friends. But we have payed a high price as football has shown itself to be, first, a profit-based enterprise and, second, an exploiter of fan money and player health.

$10 beers are criminal and brain-damaged linebackers are, well, really criminal. But we should consider, too, the consequences of this invasion on other subtle and fragile things.

In the early 70s, Florida had simultaneously beckoned my father to a University of Miami teaching post and my maternal grandparents to a Sarasota retirement. Soon, we’d take turns crossing the Everglades for visits, and for the holidays in 1971, it was our happy task to pack the Volvo and drive west on Alligator Alley.

The 4 p.m. game would be watched, it was agreed by all, and dinner would be timed to its expected conclusion at, oh say, six or seven. But history records show that it lasted far longer — 82 minutes over two additional quarters. An eight o’clock dinner was not in the picture of our anticipated Normal Rockwell sit-down. When the game wore on tempers flared and, to my great relief, my father defended the Dolphin faith as he, my brother and I sat riveted to the TV. Mother paced. Grandmother seethed. Sister’s sniped. The setting moved quickly from one of Rockwellian purity to rock-walled impiety, a fair example of the chauvinism that sports enables. However historic, the game was more important than the upset of our teammates, the women whose heads were on straighter than mine.

It mattered not. The Chiefs were threatening my dear Dolphins. Ed Podolack was unstoppable. Coach Hank Stram, a pompous fool, my dad thought, was jousting with the great Don Shula. Quarterback Lenny Dawson was matching the smooth Bob Griese. And Jan Stenerud looked like he might out-kick his miniature counterpart, Garo. The Dolphins were aided, I was sure, by two lucky charms I’d brought along. Mickey Mouse ears worn when Csonka, Kiick and Morris lined up, and a pro-style pigskin I held when the No Name defense took the field. Who says superstition and sports are silly?

A dozen years later, my parents’ marriage dissolved. That Garo tried to save it is absurd, but I think of that Christmas in 1971 and wonder when football took us over and when family as I first knew it ended. This might be that day.

Football is a tie that binds, but better I think in moderation. We do have other things to do, and it’s the people in our homes and neighborhoods who deserve our attention more than the false heroics of athletes and the spectacles that are sold us.

Rest in peace, Garo Yepremian. You leave us with more to think about than one awful throw.

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The Invention Of Coke Motivates ‘Mad Men’ Finale & ‘Happyish’ Entrée

The Invention Of Coke Motivates ‘Mad Men’ Finale & ‘Happyish’ EntréeWhere an iconic TV show ends, another begins. Mad Men and Happyish are separated by eight years in real-time
but actually over 50 years in their respective fictional timelines.
Both plots focus on the inner-workings of an advertising agency. The
former documents how we were romanced into believing in promotional
hype, while the latter’s reality check is a result of a healthy dose of
buyer-beware skepticism and a growing. . .

A Few Choice Excerpts From Tim Cook's Commencement Speech

Apple’s CEOs are fascinating: Where Steve Jobs cultivated a shrewd genius persona, Tim Cook’s journey to Apple’s upper echelon is equally inspiring. In his George Washington commencement speech this weekend, Cook shared some details about that journey—and threw in an iPhone joke or two.

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