What Happens to Your Data When You Monitor Your Personal Fitness

Wearing a fitness bracelet from FitBit, Jawbone, Microsoft, Withings, and others has become increasingly common. About one in ten people in the US now do some sort of fitness monitoring.

As we become more comfortable with the idea of monitoring our own footsteps, calorie-burn, sleep patterns and other health indicators, we should be mindful that it’s more than just individual data that’s being collected. The companies behind these inventions are also monitoring and analyzing the collective data they are acquiring. What are companies looking for and why?

I spoke with Alexis Normand who oversees the Withings Health Institute. The Institute has created an Observatory which offers a view of the cumulative data of all Withings band wearers, free to the public. Much of the data is displayed in real time as it’s being collected.

Recently, for example, the company’s Observatory showed that Withings users in NYC and DC were the least sedentary of all American cities. It also offered a real time look at obesity (pictured below), with North Dakotans being most obese in the US.

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Of course, conjecture and analysis help look at why certain cities score differently. After conducting an analysis of activity levels in nine major cities, Withings learned that Moscow clocks in with the highest number of steps during the workweek (7610 average steps) and that Madrid is a close second reporting 7512 steps per day. Madrid and Moscow are both known for their nightlife, a possible explanation for increased activity levels.

Withings is not alone. Apple’s HealthKit (supported by Withings and most other activity trackers) is busy soliciting participants for clinical studies and recording a vast amount of data from users of the Apple Watch as well as other bands. Some of the data will be made public.

According to Jawbone user data, people in Tokyo sleep the least number of hours a day, while residents of Melbourne sleep the most. They turn in for bed earliest in Brisbane and stay up latest in Moscow.

Who cares? Public health officials, legislators and the medical community to name a few. Weight, along with high blood pressure, tobacco use, hyperglycemia and a lack of physical inactivity are leading causes of death. While a fitness band doesn’t directly measure all of these things, it paints a picture of overall health.

This is the world of user-generated health information. By tracking our own bodies and donating the data to a growing pool of information, we are speeding up the process of understanding the many factors and variables that contribute to wellness.

Normand says that in the past, most data has been collected from two groups: athletes, and those who are ill. As the use of fitness bands and equipment usage spreads to the general population, we’ll get a clearer picture of the practices that lead to good health. Data is a public health miracle.

After hearing about the results of Oklahoma City’s rankings in these data collections, the city’s Mayor decided to tackle his city’s obesity problem. Standing in front of an elephant cage at the zoo the mayor announced he was putting the city on a diet– together they lost over a million pounds.

“The research community is starved for data,” says Normand. “Better data about health empowers individuals, but it also empowers those looking for comprehensive public health solutions.”

Today, user-generated data collection and analysis is still in its infancy. Each fitness product generates its own data. Consumers are a bit leery of what companies and governments will do with this data. But over time, data from our fitness wearables will help determine best health practices, and will most certainly improve our quality of life.

Robin Raskin is founder of Living in Digital Times (LIDT), a team of technophiles who bring together top experts and the latest innovations that intersect lifestyle and technology. LIDT produces conferences and expos at CES and throughout the year focusing on how technology enhances every aspect of our lives through the eyes of today’s digital consumer.

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Charlotte Ronson: On Living Out Destiny

Paradigm Shifters is a series of interviews with a select group of women from eclectic walks of life. It will highlight real life insight on how women have been able to turn weakness into strength. Each interview is the naked truth about breakdowns that inspired breakthroughs. These women have experienced internal changes, which make them quintessential Paradigm Shifters.

Everything I have ever done has been focused on this underlying theme of shifting the paradigm because “what we think determines what we feel and what we feel determines what we do.” Hence why Seven Bar Foundation and Empowered By You takes lingerie, which has traditionally been seen merely as a tool of seduction, and makes it a tool of empowerment.

I hope after reading these stories you will look at your own situations, struggles and accomplishments through a different lens and, at the very least, be better equipped to change your own paradigm. At the end of the day, we are our own Alchemists turning the silver we were born with into the gold we are destined to become.

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CHARLOTTE RONSON – American Fashion Designer

You come from an artistic family; did you feel pressure to do something artistic when pursuing your career?

Growing up in a creative family, it exposed me to lots of different areas from music to art and fashion. I always felt a sense of freedom in fashion. My mother always pushed us to find a passion for a career we would love so it felt less like work. I always loved drawing and sketching. If I was ever in trouble, I would have to go and do a specified number of ‘cultural’ excursions, ie:. Visiting a museum or taking drawing classes at the Art Students’ League. This helped me explore my love for the arts and push my creative side. I went to New York University as a Studio Art major. In high school I was lucky enough to intern at Harper’s Bazaar so I was I able to discover which area of fashion most inspired me. In my last year at NYU I began to design custom vintage t’s and tanks.


How was the process of the business side of what you do?

I started small and I was beyond careful. Doing it on my own, perhaps allowed me to take my time and to maintain control, so I was in a position to actually learn from my mistakes. As I went on, I was lucky enough to find generous mentors to guide my journey. Stefani Greenfield at Scoop was really helpful when I first started. She really took the time to help me and teach me the process of building my business and taking it to the next level.

How do you find inspiration?

It really depends as it is forever changing. Each season I come up with the inspiration and mood, colour story, fabric and print boards. Referencing sales to make sure we always include our best sellers and avoid the doozies. It’s so important to have a brand identity. You get so entrenched in what’s selling and so many mixed messages, that you must take a step back and remember to ask yourself, “What do I want? What do I see? Who’s my girl?” and that’s always the struggle to stay true to you. Travel is a great way to get inspired and refresh. Most of the time the Internet will have to transform me to another place & never underestimate the library!! There are also some great vintage libraries such as Albright and Southpaw. I try to go after I have a handle on the inspiration.I could spend days there browsing the many rooms filled with clothing, accessories and printed fabrics from every decade. It’s beyond inspirational.


You encourage women to be their own role models. How do you carry this message and what advice do you have?

I like to think of myself as a positive influence. I always try my best to practice what I preach to set an example. I’ve been lucky enough to grow up surrounded by so many wonderfully encouraging, creative and talented family members, friends and piers. Anytime I can help or offer my guidance I try my best to do so. I’m a firm believer of paying it forward. It’s not as glamorous as it seems. Hard work is the key to success. It’s all about setting the right example of the woman that you want to be and how you want to portray yourself.

How was working with Urban Outfitters and JC Penney?

They both have an amazing customer base that crosses over. Urban Outfitters, was a great introduction into designing playful, fashionable product at a great price. Partnering with JC Penney has been such an incredible opportunity and experience to provide quality and style at a smart price. I feel so grateful to have the pleasure of working with JC Penney, a brand that dresses half of America. I am learning everyday about my customer. We are all on some kind of a budget, and everyone should be able to shop and feel great without spending a fortune. I have always been a fan of mixing high and low, and making it look and feel like your own.

What is a paradigm shift you’ve experienced in your life?

It is all about changing your mindset. Living in gratitude. In work & life balance is very important. I’m a lot more cognizant of where my thoughts wander and I try my best to bring them back to a place of positivity. I am basically retraining my brain to stay open, light and grateful. I was introduced to an amazing book called the Four Agreements. It’s a must read. In case you don’t have time ill tell you the 4 agreements: Be impeccable with your word, Don’t take things personally, Don’t make assumptions, and Always do your best. Words to live by!! Learning TM was life changing and really has helped me stay centered. TM pushed me to take some time for myself each day to quiet my mind. It’s astonishing how beneficial this can be.

When have you experienced a breakdown that was really a breakthrough?

When I first started my company, my sister and I moved back in with my mother as our new apartment wasn’t ready yet. I had just graduated from Nyu, so this was not ideal. It ended up being a blessing in disguise as I was able to save all of my rent money and put that into growing my business. I took over that whole house! I was tie dying in the bathtub, Getting my lil siblings to help stir and keep me company: I believe I’ve learned an awful lot in the many years I’ve been in business. It has always been easy I have learned a lot of it the hard way but I am grateful to still be in business, working hard, creating a brand and staying true to myself. Never give up. It is an extremely tough industry. Tenacity is everything. Struggle is what earns us our value and success.

What advice would you give to your younger self?

Stay focused on your vision and who you are as a designer. Create a signature identity which sets you apart from others. Believe in yourself. Always be open to listening and hearing other’s ideas but trust your guy. It’s usually right. Follow your dreams and stay true to yourself.

What legacy do you wish to leave behind?

I wish to be inspiring to young women and encourage them to find their inner voice, passion and love for what they do. To create and not be scared.

There are those people you meet in life that you instantly know are meant for greatness. This is what you feel when you meet Charlotte. Her unwavering determination will bring even more happiness to a lot of us in the very near future.

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Teen Queen Swings Again in San Francisco

They used to call her Miss Firecracker, heir to the Dottie Pepper-Helen Alfredsson school of high voltage on-course emotion — and not ashamed to shed a few public tears either. But then again, Morgan Pressel was only twelve-years-old when she first came to national prominence as the youngest ever to qualify for, and play in the U.S. Women’s Open. It was the start of a distinguished amateur career that included multiple AJGA Player-of-the-Year titles, Junior Solheim Cup appearances, and a victory as the 2005 U.S. Women’s Amateur Champion.

But the capper might have been earlier that same summer, while playing as a 17-year-old amateur in the U.S. Women’s Open at Cherry Hills, when she endeared herself to virtually everyone who has ever competed. Watching from the 18th fairway, she saw Birdie Kim’s miraculous chip-in on that final hole all but close her out, snatching away, what up until that moment, looked to be very much like a Pressel victory, and she ultimately finished as runner-up.

And yet through it all, and despite all the accolades and achievements, Pressel almost always seemed to be overshadowed by the juggernaut that was Michelle Wie. Enveloped by a barrage of Wie media hysteria, Pressel never backed off, with a not so silent mantra to the tune of “what about me” and what about some of the other younger phenoms, whom she felt were also getting short shrift.

Her protests were validated, as Pressel made history with a win in 2007 at the Kraft Nabisco, becoming the youngest woman ever to win an LPGA major.2015-05-15-1431653140-739712-morgan2.jpg (photo courtesy Callaway Golf)

She was 18, and was soon followed by her teenage contemporaries Inbee Park, and Yani Tseng, who won their first majors in 2008 at the age of 19. In subsequent years, Lexi Thompson and Hyo Joo Kim, would also win majors as 19-year-olds. But probably no one could foresee–even a few short years ago–the phenomenon that would be just over the horizon in the personification of teen queen, Lydia Ko.

And so Ko, and virtually every marquee player on the LPGA returned to Lake Merced GC (just adjacent to San Francisco) this late April for the Swinging Skirts LPGA Classic Presented by CTBC. 2015-05-13-1431549265-2025329-lydiaatthemic.JPG (photo by Barry Salberg)
Arriving now as the defending champion, the number one player in the world, and a new media darling in her own right, Ko would celebrate her 18th birthday during tournament week. “This is definitely one of the toughest golf courses we play, even including the majors,” said Ko in a pre tournament interview. “It is certainly one of the best venues we play all year,” echoed LPGA star, Stacy Lewis. “There is so much golf history in this area that it’s just really cool for us to be playing here. It’s getting rare that all the top players are playing together, and this is one of those weeks just because of the venue.” 2015-05-13-1431548999-9786412-swingingskirtslogo.jpg
Several players, as well broadcaster, Kay Cockerill, commented that the event had the feel of a major. Billed as a celebration of art and culture, the tournament site is accented with a group of whimsical sculptures by noted Taiwanese artist, Hung Yi,2015-05-13-1431549068-7991965-lmgcandsculptures.JPG to lend an added taste of fun and Asian flavor to the festivities. (photo by Barry Salberg)

But Lake Merced can be a demanding brute, with temperatures all week in the low fifties, punctuated with gray, heavy, marine air in the mornings and bone-chilling winds in the afternoons. Yet, on TV it played glorious — fittingly reflective of one of California’s top-tier courses and one of the planet’s most gorgeous urban landscapes.

On Sunday, it was Morgan Pressel, with a re-tooled swing, added distance, and almost a decade as one of the tour’s upper echelon, who was in the final group along with another teen phenom, Brooke Henderson. But coming from three shots behind at the start of the day, and playing in the group just ahead of Pressel, it was Ko, who ultimately prevailed again in the second playoff hole with Pressel. One of my golf buddies who’s only a casual follower of the LPGA, e-mailed me that “Lydia’s for real!” I responded back, “no, she’s UN-real!” And though she professes to feel nerves like anyone else, clearly she is a notch well beyond special.

At a press conference just prior to her video shoot to promote the Swinging Skirts event, 2015-05-13-1431548847-316031-lydialmgc.jpg Ko informed the media that she was beginning college and would be majoring in psychology. “So you guys better watch out,” she warned playfully. The question is, whether she was warning the media or the other players. As for Pressel, a Solheim Cup stalwart and two-time tour winner, it’s been several years since her last win. 2015-05-15-1431653721-463327-morgan3.jpg ( photo courtesy Callaway Golf)

Perhaps, the recent reunion with her swing coach, and now almost a victory in one of the preeminent events on the LPGA may be the spark to have the firecracker re-kindled. ###

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On Trade Reform, Why Isn't Elizabeth Warren Teaming Up With the European Union?

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Getting 12 Asian and North American countries to agree on a massive free trade agreement that will impact their entire economy is sometimes easier than reaching across the aisle in Congress. At least that was the image that emerged from the Hill this week, as lawmakers, vanguards, pundits and top aides harangued over granting President Obama the executive authority to fast-track the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP). When the vote came to the floor, Senate Democrats shot down the bill, an act of defiance that landed them a private meeting in the White House to smooth things over with the embattled President. So buckle your seat belts, because it’s going to be a hot summer on Capitol Hill.

Whereas Senate Democrats held the bill hostage with pork barreling tactics and vowed to throw all the procedural spanners in the works to undermine the measure, firebrand leftist Elizabeth Warren struck a different tone. In a highly cited op-ed in the Washington Post, the Massachusetts Senator riled up spirits by attacking a somewhat arcane provision hidden in the fine print of the TPP: the Investor State Dispute Settlement (ISDS).

On paper, the ISDS sounds as if it was made to pander to greedy corporate interests. And that’s because it was. Under the ISDS, corporations can basically sue foreign governments for potential revenue lost because of new regulations enacted by the respective state. The dispute is not settled in sovereign courts or under the banner of international organizations, but in special, ad-hoc arbitration panels whose decisions cannot be appealed.

But what’s all the fuss about, especially since the ISDS has been around for more than half a century? Well, in recent years, faced with a ballooning number of cases, scholars have argued that companies are increasingly abusing the policy: “investor-state arbitration has shifted from being a shield of last resort to a sword of first resort in many disputes … between governments and foreign investors.” In other words, companies are turning to the laxer ISDS to fight their battles instead of going through national courts where they stand less chances of winning.

Indeed, as I wrote in a previous post, even if ISDS tribunals cannot order the government to change the contentious law, they disproportionately target Latin American countries that oftentimes lack the financial means to take on corporations whose quarterly profits exceed their GDP. In her op-ed, Warren cites several high profile cases that have sought to weaken labor or environmental rules: a French company sued Egypt over Cairo’s decision to raise the minimum wage, or the case of a Swedish company that sued Germany because Berlin had decided to phase out nuclear reactors in the wake of the Fukushima disaster. In another egregious example of manipulating what was supposed to be an insurance policy against corrupt governments, Philip Morris challenged a tough tobacco regulation in Australia, prompting New Zeeland to scrap its similar law over fears of costly litigation.

Senator Warren is right that the system is in dire need of reform and Democrats are right to express concern over handing the White House a blank check to negotiate the TPP. After all, if the fast-track measure is approved, Congress will only get to decide in thumbs up/thumbs down fashion over the entire text of the bill. And who could say no to a deal that promises billions in extra growth, countless jobs and increased cooperation between Washington and Asia’s Eastern seaboard? Advocates also argue that the TPP is not just a 12-country trade deal but, thanks to its requirements of raising democratic standards in signatory nations, an essential part in making sure China won’t write the playbook on Asian governance

However, all the potential perks stemming from the TPP’s approval do not mean that lawmakers should simply pay lip service to the White House’s version of the bill – the ISDS is a case in point. But here’s a thought – instead of twiddling her fingers in the media, what if Warren joins hands with another like-minded vanguard: Cecilia Malmström.

Cecilia who?

Cecilia Malmström is the European Union’s Trade Commissioner, charged with negotiating the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership (TTIP) between Washington and Brussels. The world’s biggest trade deal, it would create a huge market of 850 million consumers and link 60% of global output. The talks were progressing at a steady pace – that is until lawmakers on both sides of the Atlantic opened the chapter on ISDS. Thereafter, harried by strong opposition from France, Germany, and the public opinion, negotiations were suspended last year. After intense internal negotiations, the European Commission (a diluted version of our own federal government) cobbled together a list of proposals to overcome the ISDS snafu. Similar to the White House’s own TPP head ache, the Europeans need to secure unanimous support from member states to pass the deal and the ISDS is the main sticking point.

Bemoaning the erosion of national sovereignty, Commissioner Malmström noted that the ISDS system “is not fit for purpose in the 21st century”. “I want the rule of law, not the rule of lawyers”, she added in what reads like an Elizabeth Warren sound bite. Indeed, just like Warren, Malmström is aiming for the same goal: arbitration tribunals should operate like traditional courts, should allow the right to appeal, and should be endowed with a clear code of conduct for arbitrators in order to minimize conflicts of interests. Malmström went even a step further, calling for the establishment of a permanent global arbitration court to hear ISDS disputes, instead of the current inchoate system of ad-hoc panels.

As expected, Washington outright rejected the EU’s offer through the voice of Undersecretary for International Trade, Stefan Selig.

So why doesn’t Warren team up with Malmström? Sure, the European proposal isn’t perfect, but it strikes a good middle ground between supporters and opponents of the ISDS. As things stand now, only a compromise will secure the votes both on Capital Hill and in the byzantine corridors of the European Union. Therefore, instead of spending political capital in rhetorical battles with the Obama administration in the media – a debate that got reduced to whether the President was sexist or not in his remarks – Warren should use her considerable political capital and push for Malmström’s plan. Just saying “NO ISDS” and filibustering like Ted Cruz taking on Obamacare does not a good policy make, and certainly this is not what Warren’s constituents expect from a US Senator.

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<i>Two Shots Fired</i> (<i>Los Disparos</i>): Deadpan Hilarity in Argentina

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One of the more enjoyably offbeat features at last year’s New York Film Festival that is only now seeing the light of day is Martin Rejtman’s Two Shots Fired. This comic offering showcases Argentina as a land plagued by emotional neutrality. No smiles. No Howard Beale outbursts. No fidgety tots and no Lotharios aquiver.

The film begins as some might end. Sixteen-year-old Mariano (Rafael Federman), after a night of discoing and a morning of swimming laps and mowing the lawn, goes into his family’s tool shed, comes upon a hidden revolver, and goes back to his bedroom where he shoots himself in his head and stomach–or tries to. Yes, he escapes any major damage with the exception of an internal bullet that interferes with his ability to blow into his recorder and play Renaissance and Baroque music. This suicidal gesture also sets off some alarms.

When asked later by a psychiatrist why he did what he did, Mariano replies, “It was an impulse . . . . It was very hot . . . . I’m not anxious or depressed.”

Apparently, the shooting was an act that placed a suicide attempt on the same level as pruning the garden of weeds or changing one’s motor oil.

Of course, his family reacts a bit to this unforeseen breach of family etiquette. Mom, by burying all the knives in the house in the backyard, and brother Ezequiel (Benjamin Coelho), by falling for a young server at a fast food restaurant.

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Imagine a John Water’s film but with “normal people on Valium” and you sort of have it, except one of the main villains here is a cell phone that can’t be silenced. Damn technology!

Oh, I forgot. There’s more: the family dog who escapes to a better-off family, and a weekend vacation where Mom and Mariano’s music teacher hook up with an oddball, derelict hausfrau, her divorced unsavory husband, and his kleptomaniac woman-of-the-moment who winds up getting bit by fleas.

Two Shots Fired is a farcical delight that strives to satirize Modern Life, an epoch where everyone goes through the motions but fails to connect in any genuine manner. The film achieves its goals.

(Cinema Tropical’s release of Two Shots Fired by Martín Rejtman along with a complete retrospective of the Argentinean director continues at Film Society of Lincoln Center this week.)

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Stop Fighting for Overhead Bin Space Already

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Beccaauuse no flight attendant is going to say your bag is not making it on the flight and goodbye! to every piece of clothing you own. Continue Reading…

Why Kids May Actually Need More Testing, Not Less

The education world has been buzzing after a segment on John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight (warning – adult language) that viciously lampooned standardized testing. It’s a funny piece about a serious issue that has polarized parents and lawmakers across the country. Are we testing kids too much?

Unfortunately, that’s the wrong question to ask. Like any practice affecting 50 states and millions of kids, testing is neither a purely good or a purely bad thing, and there is no absolute line we could draw to define the ‘right’ amount of testing.

A better question is this: are our testing policies helping every student get a great education? Everyone seems to agree that we have not made nearly enough progress in improving our public schools since the current testing regime began under the federal No Child Left Behind legislation. But it may actually be the case that some of this is because we are under testing some students in some subjects.

Take, for example, reading–the most foundational academic skill, and arguably the most important. No Child Left Behind requires that every student be given a standardized reading test beginning in third grade, with testing generally taking place toward the end of the school year and results shared over the summer.

The problem is that decades of studies tell us that kids need to master reading not beginning in fourth grade, but by fourth grade. If they do so they are significantly more likely to be successful in later grades and to complete high school.

There is a mountain of research that shows early intervention is the best way to support a child who struggles struggling with reading. If we wait until students are already on the cusp of fourth grade to even identify who is and isn’t proficient, we have missed our best opportunity to help kids who have gotten off track.

We aren’t just waiting too late to begin testing kids in reading; we’re doing it too infrequently. As every parent knows, children’s progress in reading comes in fits and starts. Some of the most rewarding moments for kids and adults alike are when things seem to suddenly ‘click’. The yearly assessments required by No Child Left Behind are spaced too far apart to provide an accurate picture of how students are doing in reading.

In many cases, we are also attaching alarmingly high stakes to tests for such young children. In 16 states and Washington, DC, students may be required by law to repeat third grade based on their reading scores, regardless of what their parents or teachers think is best. This policy, which studies have been unable to link to any long-term benefit for kids, was first enacted by then Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida, who has gone on to champion the practice nationwide.

In one of the funniest moments of his segment, John Oliver describes kids throwing up on their tests. That’s hardly surprising when you tell a nine year old who is taking a state-standardized test for the very first time that if they don’t do well, they don’t get to go to fourth grade.

The abrupt introduction of high stakes reading tests in later elementary school grades also creates the wrong incentives for school leaders. Principals whose job performance depends on third, fourth, and fifth grade test scores will naturally focus their resources and their best teachers on older students–despite all the research that tells us that early intervention is key.

In short, the problem with testing isn’t that there’s too much of it, it’s that the current structure is set up for remediation instead of prevention. It is fundamentally backward looking and sets up both kids and teachers to fail. Schools struggle to backfill major skill gaps in later years of nipping them in the bud with younger students.

A smarter assessment strategy would reflect our understanding of how kids develop into readers. It would prioritize the earliest years for more frequent, more formative, and lower-stakes assessments, with the goal of informing teaching and learning to ensure ensuring that every child masters reading as a foundational skill.

Our students and educators should have the chance to identify specific reading issues early on so that they can begin interventions to address them well before the end of third grade, and earlier, frequent assessments are a key to this.

Unfortunately, early reading has been largely missing from the national debate about testing. It would be a major step backward if we shied away from smart assessment strategies because we care more about the amount of testing than achieving the purpose that testing serves.

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How to Tell Your Wife Your Are a Cross-dresser

Wearing your favorite lace bra and panties in a hotel room while on a business trip or when you are by yourself at home when your wife and kids are out of town can be a lonely experience. After all, you have been dressing in woman’s clothing since you were a child, knowing this is something that you had to do. It made you feel good; it felt right to wear your sister’s nightgown, even if you were caught in the act, you still did it.

As a cross-dresser you have always known you love to dress, and unlike a transgender person, you don’t want to change your gender, as you are content with being a man, yet this need to wear woman’s clothing and act out your femme self, has created confusion for you since you were a child.

You have always loved bras and are fascinated by breasts, even if you don’t have them, you like the way they fill a bra. The touch of the silk against your skin makes you feel whole. It is something you think about everyday, even if you are not acting on it.

Conflicted over your cross-dressing habit, you try to make peace with it and quit attempting to figure out why you have this desire to wear woman’s clothing. Your therapist says you are normal, so why can’t you tell anyone about your desire to dress and let your femme self out for others to see? The one person you want to share your femme self with is your wife, the mother of your children, your best friend and partner in life.

Yet, you don’t know how to tell her. You are afraid she will abandon you or look badly on your behavior, thinking it is a sexual fetish that she wants no part of, when dressing is something that you were born with and a part of you that is begging to be exposed.

According to Sister House, a popular site for cross-dressers, about 70% of their audience have expressed that they have told their wives. The other 30% are still hiding in the shadows wanting to come out and share their femme self. Conflicted over how to tell their wives after many years of marriage, they dress by themselves in silence, which only makes the act more deviant. They connect on social media, showing themselves dressed only as their femme self, hoping to connect with others who can share their need to dress.

With the transgender community stepping up, as Bruce Jenner has become the leader in this journey, the cross-dressers are still needing to come out of hiding and to at least share their femme self with their wives. But, how do you tell her after all these years that you have a secret life that she doesn’t know about?

Let’s first look at the three ways you shouldn’t tell your wife about your cross-dressing:

• Leaving a picture of you dressed on your iPad for her to “accidentally” see and pretending that you never meant for her to find the picture when in fact, you did.
• Leaving your size 44 E bra under the bed as a, “Sorry, you weren’t supposed to see it.” This only makes her feel like she violated your privacy or worse yet, have a girlfriend with very large breasts.
• Get recognized by her girlfriend who saw you at a hotel bar. No wife wants to be the last to know your secret. Public opinion does matter and she wants to be able to control who knows about your cross-dressing because it also affects her.

The best ways to tell your wife:

• Take her on a vacation, just the two of you; no kids. Relaxed and away from responsibilities is the time to have an honest discussion on your cross-dressing. Let her know you have not told her because you are just beginning to understand how important cross-dressing it is to you in your life and the one person you trust and love is her. Tell her about your early experiences with cross-dressing.
• Schedule an appointment with a therapist for both of you. I would suggest you tell her before you see the therapist, but have an appointment lined up to help her sort out her feelings and give you both the tools you need to help keep an open line of communication. Communication is key for acceptance.

There is no perfect way to inform your wife you are a cross-dresser, yet the way you tell her is almost as important as what you are telling her. Most cross-dressers are quite good at hiding their secret, so when you do inform her after years of marriage, she is going to be shocked. She probably won’t know what being a cross-dresser is and what it means to your marriage. She may think she is going to lose her husband to his femme shelf, which doesn’t happen very often, but she doesn’t know that.

Tell your wife you love her, will always love her and that she is the most important person in your life. You are not going to transition into a woman, you like being a man and her husband, but after all of these years of hiding, you have to be able to share that you are a cross-dresser and to let out your femme side. You are not abandoning your wife; you are just being who you have been all along.

Your wife needs time to process what she heard. It is another test for your marriage. Tell her that you never meant to hurt her and give her time to learn more about what cross-dressing is and don’t forget to go to support groups. It will give her a chance to share with other wives and to feel connected.

Life is short; you and your wife deserve to have an honest marriage. There’s nothing you can do to change the past, so focus on your future by sharing this adventure together and finding a way to integrate your femme self in your marriage that is acceptable and hopefully, rewarding for you both.

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The Business and Versatility of Striped Underwear

Striped underwear can enlist several thoughts: nautical looks; a stern businessman; or perhaps a young, preppy college student. This is why stripes – and in particular, striped underwear – can be extremely versatile. The look also (surprisingly) works well on most body types, and on the young and the older.

Our recent photoshoot captured 13 striped underwear looks – its main purpose? To showcase the trend’s adaptability, of course.

Classic striped designs were highlighted by brands Calvin Klein and Blackspade, both of which veer towards more classic looks, regardless of trend. Blackspade interprets stripe width in new and interesting ways, and the Calvin Klein boxer brief looks purple, but it’s actually an optical illusion – it is, in fact, a weave of cobalt and red orange stripes.

British underwear brands, James Tudor and Aware Soho, play with red and black stripes, contrasting them with white waistbands. The three-button fly, however, are the real stand-out aspect to the James Tudor’s.

The Jor and Agacio brands are the sportiest by far – these two utilize pastels and white.

But our favorite pair – which is, of course, the sexiest – is from the Male Power Radial Sport Collection. It is zippered with dual tone, zigzag stripes.

Whatever your stripes preference, be it zigzag or classic with limited accessories, any of these looks are sure to satisfy your grown-up underwear drawer.

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Click for more information about striped underwear, and check out The Underwear Expert for all of the latest men’s underwear trends.

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The End of Reading in America and Other Related Matters

Reading Shakespeare, the Greeks, and the classics; reading for life-wisdom, nourishment, guidance and growth; reading to save one’s soul and to make sense of oneself and the enigma of life — this kind of reading rarely exists anymore.

Past generations, however, read for many, if not all, of these reasons. Reading was a sacrament that conferred upon those who partook of its grace something which nothing else, in some cases not even religion itself, could bestow.

This was a time when great literature and the humanities were Holy Writ, reverenced for embodying the spiritual legacy of the past; something eagerly sought after, lived with, and ruminated over for years as initiation into the Good, the True, and the Beautiful.

One prepared oneself for immersion into the vastness of this Oceanic feeling by cultivating a hunger for life’s ultimate questions, for hints to answers one sensed might be found in the hallowed tradition of reading, learning, and the reflective life.

This was a time when there was more silence in the world, when one could meditate upon the meaning of things, the purpose of life, and one’s place in the universe. One cultivated an inner receptivity to higher aspirations as incarnated in the Western classical heritage that spoke to one’s need for direction and lucidity amidst the confusions of life.

This was the age of the Great Conversation with the Past, the tradition of Great Books, the writings of antiquity and the literary classics of every age — novels, plays, poetry, short stories, letters, essays, philosophy, history, and biography. It fostered an inner dialogue that went on quietly and unobtrusively in those homes that had a bookcase, a quiet corner, a special room, a library, an enclave to which one might retire to restore the spirit.

Not that this was the universal norm. There were many who didn’t read at all for lack of time or inclination, or because other interests claimed their attention, or because they felt that life itself was their book. However, there were many who spent their leisure hours on what today would be considered serious reading because every day they felt compelled to draw closer to the marrow of life.

This is a tradition that today has not completely died out; it still exists, but in an attenuated form of those bygone days. It is a way of life that lingers on as a countercultural presence, bearing witness to an enduring ideal in a few homes in every community, where the old-fashioned values of reading, the discussion of ideas, and the inextinguishable life of the mind are kept alive in a post-literate America where the lights are slowly going out.

So what happened to reading over the past few generations? The usual answer is the explosion of popular culture after the Second World War — TV, game shows, situation comedies, soap operas, films, music, cable, MTV, fluff news, “trash talk” radio, celebrity gossip magazines, drugs, fashion, sports, computers, the Internet, cellphones, Facebook, online shopping, material possessions — “the good life.”

This opened up a world of limitless possibilities of addictive distractions, which, in some cases, took over lives, leaving little time, interest, or capacity even to want to engage the mind by reading or reflecting upon the events of our time.

More significant, however, is the question of why this all happened. There are two explanations. The first is that popular culture was a diversionary tactic on the part of government, a premeditated design to distract Americans from what Washington, Wall Street, and the corporations were up to in colluding against the public.

It was all part of a grand strategy to narcotize Americans into passive acquiescence through a calculated policy of escapist entertainment, so that government could keep its citizens in the dark by means of a corporately-owned media about what America was doing to promote its corporate agenda both at home and its clandestine military operations, political interference, and economic depredations in third-world countries.

The second view, which dismisses the first as the overheated fantasy of liberal conspiracy theorists, claims that government controls neither its citizens nor the media in distracting people from high-minded pursuits or political awareness, but simply gives Americans the kinds of entertainment they want. People have the right to enjoy themselves howsoever they choose, and corporations, in tandem with government, allow this to happen.

Likewise, if people choose not to participate in popular culture, but to engage in serious reading or private pursuits, no one is stopping them, and certainly not the government. A man’s home is his castle, and Americans are free to do whatever they please.

Even if the government wanted to control the news and the mind of its population, it couldn’t, because people can choose to be politically informed from a wide assortment of media outlets. They are free to examine the issues of the day as critically and as open-mindedly as they desire.

As proof of this assertion, these are but a few of the magazines, journals, and media outlets for those seeking a conservative viewpoint on the issues of the day: ALEC, The American, The American Conservative, The American Spectator, Commentary, Fox News, FrontPage Magazine, Human Events, Modern Age, National Review, The National Interest, The New American, Reader’s Digest, Reason, Regulation, Townhall Magazine, The Weekly Standard, and World Affairs.

For the liberal viewpoint there are these sources: AlterNet, The American Prospect, Atlantic, Democracy Now, Dissent, Harper’s, The Huffington Post, In These Times, Jacobin, Mother Jones, MSNBC, The Nation, The New Republic, The New Yorker, NCR, PBS, The Progressive, Rolling Stone, Salon, Slate, Thom Hartmann, Truthdig, Utne Reader, Yes Magazine, and Z Magazine.

Conservatives claim that these two lists of choices speak for themselves in offering Americans a diversity of viewpoints. All one need do is to take the time to acquaint oneself with this spectrum of opinion to satisfy one’s curiosity about what is happening, and why, both here and around the world.

Liberals counter that the average citizen lacks the time to do this and so must rely on the mainstream media for understanding events and their significance. However, the media are corporately-owned, with a vested interest in indoctrinating the public with a conservative bias that “manufactures consent” with prevailing orthodoxy, in the words of Noam Chomsky.

Moreover, liberal intellectuals maintain that they are routinely excluded from TV programs of political commentary, notably the Sunday talk shows, lest they challenge the conservative assumptions on which these discussions are based.

By refusing to invite individuals like Chomsky, Chris Hedges, Robert Reich, Michael Parenti, and other liberal thinkers to participate in these exchanges, the media force these discussions into a predictable conservative mindset that leads the audience to foregone conclusions.

However, if liberals were to join these discussions, they would expose the public to views never before heard on American television, something which conservatives and the media refuse to allow.

The result is that the public never hears an opposing viewpoint; indeed, it has no idea that one even exists. Instead, since political discourse is so overwhelmingly conservative in this country, viewers are offered only minor variations of conservative opinion by conservative spokesmen. This does not lend itself to the free exchange of ideas or open debate, but censorship and indoctrination that create the impression that no other viewpoint exists.

Liberals want access to these talk shows to have open discussions as befits a democracy, as do all Americans in the interest of fairness and for a fuller understanding of the issues. They want informed public debate about substantive issues and real-world options, not platitudes by spokesmen of only one viewpoint.

For example, liberals contend that we fought a revolution in the 18th century to free our nation from Old World monarchs, and that, later, on the battlefields of World War II, almost 300,000 Americans died only to have their sacrifice betrayed by today’s politicians, who have turned our country over to banks and corporations.

These officials have sold their souls to people like the Koch brothers, modern America’s de facto monarchs, who pollute not only our air and water, but also our political culture by bribing these officials and buying elections.

They contend that American democracy is dead and that 99% of the population feel helpless, demoralized, and exploited by a corporate state that has been corrupted by big money interests, which are doing as much to destroy our country as our adversaries did in World War II. The only difference is that these present-day adversaries are our own fellow citizens.

Politicians, with a few well-known exceptions, fail to speak out against this assault on our liberties, which they have sworn an oath to uphold, and that members of Congress, if it can be believed, even lobby on behalf of the very corporations that are exploiting our people.

The American People want straight talk and bold action. They want real democracy, not a whitewashed sepulcher, resplendent without, but diseased to the core. They want genuine choice, not the quadrennial circus that rolls into town with Wall Street candidates for the two main parties.

The whole world is watching as America takes leave of its senses and continues to corrupt its political institutions by more and more money. If this fundamental crisis in present-day America continues to be met by government inaction, belief in our democratic system will plummet still further.

This is one of the many liberal arguments never discussed on the Sunday talk shows. Are such questions worthy of debate on national television? Would Americans find them relevant? Do they go to the heart of what’s wrong with our country? Would such shows be eagerly anticipated? Would many viewers tune in? Then why won’t they happen?

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