Cop Spotted Playing Football With Kids: 'We Need To Earn Back Respect From The Community'

For this cop, serving the community means making a meaningful connection with its residents.

C.J. Mullinax, a police officer in Bennettsville, South Carolina, decided to take some time out to throw around a pigskin with kids in a housing development area, according to ABC15. The delightful interaction was caught on camera by Lorenzo Adams, who was driving by at the time, and shared the video on Facebook, this past Tuesday.

The post quickly went viral, with almost 170,000 shares as of Friday afternoon. And while the clip has captured hearts across the Internet, the officer maintains that engaging with kids is just part of his job.

“That’s how you gain the community’s trust,” Mullinax explained to ABC News. “Not all cops are bad, but because of what some bad cops have done, we need to earn back respect from the community.”

The policeman told ABC15 that he was on patrol when he saw the kids waving to him, and ended up being the quarterback in a game of football. Though law enforcement may not be closely associated with fun and games, Bennettsville Police Department Police Chief Larry McNeil said he encourages interactions like this.

“I believe you can do so much more chasing a kid while holding a basketball or football than chasing a kid while holding a baton or gun,” McNeil told ABC News. “I always tell my guys they can do more with what’s between their ears — their brain — than the holster on their side.”

Mullinax took to Facebook to express his thanks for the outpouring of support he’s received.

“I’ve always wanted to make a difference,” he wrote on the social networking site. “That was my priority in this career decision. I’m so blessed to be touching so many people by just playing football with some kids.”

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For Israeli-Americans, a New Renaissance

For a gang that includes at least two movie stars, a Nobel Prize laureate, and the lead singer of KISS, American-Israelis sure aren’t getting the love they deserve.

In part, that’s by design: Not too long ago, Israelis living abroad were still regarded by the compatriots as traitors to the common Zionist dream. They were, in former prime minister Yitzhak Rabin’s memorable phrase, a gaggle of cowards. The only permissible path took American Jews–like Rabin’s predecessor in office, Golda Meir — from the United States to Israel, the only place where Jewish life could thrive in full.

That was then. In the four decades that passed since Rabin’s first term in office, Israelis have succeeded in creating a vibrant community for themselves anywhere from the banks of the Hudson to the coast of the Pacific. Far from being the furniture movers of yesterday’s stereotypes, these ambitious individuals now occupy the highest rungs of many industries. Natalie Portman is, perhaps, the group’s most visible representative, but the list goes on and on, from Avi Arad, the head of Marvel Studios, to fashion designer Yigal Azrouel to horror movie maestro Oren Moverman.

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Israel’s pioneers Theodore Herzl, David Ben-Gurion, Golda Meir, and Moshe Dayan.

That a small nation like Israel has produced so many high-profile, talented people should come as no surprise. As Start-Up Nation, the now-famous book about Israel’s stellar high tech industry, argued, the country’s combination of scarce resources, constant existentialist pressure, and diverse population have all contributed to remarkable achievements. Also, being themselves, for the most part, the children or grandchildren of immigrants, it makes sense that Israelis making a life abroad would adjust more quickly and fully to the jarring experience of leaving their roots behind.

But while there’s so much to be cheerful about, the challenges also abound. No one these days will call an Israeli living outside the Motherland a coward, but Israeli expats themselves — scarred, perhaps, by past prejudices — were traditionally slow to form cohesive communities, seeing affiliation with other Israelis as a sign that their assimilation in American society was far from complete.

Thankfully, that, too, is rapidly changing. Now successful and visible in so many realms of American life, Israeli-born individuals are increasingly attracted to preserving and cultivating their unique cultural heritage, realizing that it is possible, in this age of affordable transatlantic flights and constant Internet connection, to feel at home in New York while tuning in, say, to the latest soccer game from Haifa. The organization I work for, the Israeli-American Council, produces scores of sold-out events for Israeli-Americans and their children; other newly formed organizations do as well, and our success indicates the tremendous demand for Israeli music, culture, and community.

This awareness is welcome, but it stands to benefit more than just the American-Israeli community, a relatively small group whose numbers, given the aforementioned political sensitivities, have always been difficult to accurately gauge. With natives of Jerusalem and Tel Aviv and Be’er Sheva finding their way to Los Angeles and Chicago and Philadelphia, the American-Jewish community, too, is receiving a much-needed infusion. With many of its traditional institutions struggling to maintain their memberships, the Jewish community has much to gain from a population of increasingly organized Israelis who enrich the fabric of American Jewish life with their sensibilities and their passion for their heritage.

This month, the Israeli-American Council is hosting five Celebrate Israel Festivals across the country. As Israeli-Americans all over the nation celebrate their homeland’s independence, look past the rowdy parties and you’ll find something more meaningful and long-lasting, a new and vibrant group learning how to feel comfortable in the ever-expanding fabric of American communal life.

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Here's Why You Can't Remember Anyone's Name

Meeting someone new and remembering their name is no easy feat for the brain.

As a new AsapSCIENCE video explains, remembering people’s jobs and faces isn’t quite as hard. That’s because individual brain cells are fired in response to faces, and finding out what someone does with their time is interesting for the brain. Names, on the other hand, are relatively meaningless.

Another reason it’s hard to remember names? The “next in life effect.” This is when someone is introducing themselves to you, but you’re more focused on going through the motions of introducing yourself. Or, as the video so gently puts it:

You may just not care. Honestly, you may be at a party in which you’ll never see this person again, or just generally uninterested in forming a new relationship. Simply put, the more interest you have in something, the more likely your brain is to make new connections. As a result, people who enjoy making new relationships are tuned in and focused and barely feel as if their memory is being used or tested.

The Atlantic brings up another good point: A lot of people have the same name, which makes names even more meaningless for the brain.

“[A name] is both completely arbitrary and somewhat familiar (for common names) and ends up neither connecting to what you already know nor standing out as unusual,” Northwestern University psychology professor Paul Reber told The Atlantic. “So you get this funny phenomenon where you can remember lots about a person you recently met — everything except their name (this happens to me all the time).”

So, how can you get better at remember peoples’ names? The AsapSCIENCE guys have some tips in the video above.

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Death Penalty Opponents Condemn Sentence For Boston Bombing

After Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was sentenced to die on Friday, death penalty opponents quickly condemned the verdict.

Massachusetts law forbids the death penalty, but capital punishment was an option because the case was tried in federal court and the Department of Justice decided Tsarnaev’s crimes, which killed four people and injured 264 others, merited the sentence.

“Today’s verdict does not reflect the values of the majority of people in our Commonwealth,” The American Civil Liberties Union of Massachusetts said in a statement. “His verdict is an outlier, and does not change the fact that Americans increasingly reject capital punishment.”

The statement pointed to an April Boston Globe poll that found that “less than 20 percent” of Massachusetts residents “believe Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev should be put to death.”

boston bombing

Steven W. Hawkins, executive director of Amnesty International USA, said sentencing Tsarnaev to die “is not justice.”

“We condemn the bombings that took place in Boston two years ago, and we mourn the loss of life and grave injuries they caused,” Hawkins said. “The death penalty, however, is not justice. It will only compound the violence, and it will not deter others from committing similar crimes in the future.”

Hawkins added, “There remains no evidence showing that the death penalty deters crime or has any effect in reducing terrorism.”

The Boston Bar Association, which opposes the death penalty, offered a more muted response.

“While the Boston Bar Association opposes use of the death penalty in any case, we respect that it was a difficult process for each juror and we respect the legal process that was so carefully followed in this case,” BBA President Julia Huston said in a statement.

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In April, Bill and Denise Richard, whose 8-year-old son was killed in the bombing, penned a piece in The Boston Globe asking the DOJ to spare Tsarnaev’s life by taking the death penalty off the table.

“As long as the defendant is in the spotlight, we have no choice but to live a story told on his terms, not ours,” they wrote. “The minute the defendant fades from our newspapers and TV screens is the minute we begin the process of rebuilding our lives and our family.”

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Ten Great Secret Spots In (and Around) Boston MA

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You’ve done the Freedom Trail, you’ve gone to the museums, now discover what some Bostonians don’t even know about their own city. Here are ten secret spots. How many are you familiar with? Want a bit more? The Getaway Mavens take a deeper dive.

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1. Fenway Farms @ Fenway Ball Park. The home of the Boston Red Sox, now grows its own vegetables. Utilizing 18,000 sq. feet of dead space, Fenway Farms grows much of the produce for EMC Level (suites) catering and food service for the stadium. You’ll discover this little known tidbit on an enlightening tour of the field where one of America’s first baseball dynasties has played since 1912. Another secret: There’s a decades-old message hidden in the scoreboard. Take the $18 tour to find out what it is.

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2. Mount Auburn Cemetery in Cambridge is a bird-watching hotspot. Opened in 1831, and predating city parks, the still active, 175-acre Mount Auburn was the first “Garden Cemetery” in the nation. Currently the resting place of 93,000 souls of all faiths, Mount Auburn was fashioned for the dead and living alike, inspiring public park starchitects like Frederick Law Olmsted to design the likes of Central Park in New York. Mount Auburn is open to the public for free, and you can drive or walk its beautiful acres. Another fact known to most birders – Mount Auburn happens to be a favorite of those winged creatures during migratory seasons – so you just might bump into nature lovers going for their Big Year.

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3. High Tech geniuses might be plotting the next groundbreaking “disruption” over lunch on the hard-to-find Kendall Square Roof Garden. Though its official address is 4 Cambridge Center, the garden can be accessed from the parking garage of 80 Broadway in Cambridge.

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4. Wink and Nod is a speakeasy – and a pop-up restaurant. A new concept on the restaurant scene, Wink and Nod, a below street level, dimly lit, doorman bar, also serves as a place where up and coming chefs explore, experiment and build a following over the course of six months.

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5. He’s not exactly a “spot,” but Chef Patrick Enage is a hidden treasure and a culinary genius to watch. Formerly chef de cuisine of City Landing and Twenty-Eight Atlantic at the Wequassett Resort, you’ll now find him creating some of the most exhilarating and fantastically flavored Southeast Asian cuisine at his pop-up spot, Akinto, in the Wink and Nod speakeasy (see #4). Enage’s forte is perfectly balanced tastes and textures culled from the land of his birth, the Philippines. Each dish is a masterpiece. Hopefully, after September 2015, he will have his own restaurant.

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6. A4 Pizza, Somerville. Most Bostonians know about Area Four in Cambridge. But this outpost is the rustic bar-scene to Area Four’s futuristic family place. Wood-fired pizza comes out bubbled and blistered with sourdough crusts described by one food writer as “somewhere between New Haven and Neapolitan Style.” However, Matty S, a very astute 12-year-old, describes the crust here as “Naan-like.” Pair up a pie with an order of the decadent Garlic Knots for the perfect meal before heading half a mile down the road to…

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7. Backbar, Somerville. Backbar is tough to find, but getting easier now that the word is out. Find the red door in the back of a strip of shops and restaurants, which leads you down a hallway to a second door. Pass through to find a cool, spacious room decorated with funky finds, bottles of spirits stacked on wood shelves behind a welcoming bar, and bartenders shaking up concoctions like “Whittle Litaly,” “Pina Pepper Colada,” and the signature Jim Beam Black “Model T.” Ask for the irresistible Spicy Caramel Popcorn ($3, $5) with or without bacon. Wow.

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8. The secret room in the back of jm Curley. A block from The Boston Common, jm Curley is known for it’s cocktails, burgers and nervy “Law & Order” laws. But what most people don’t know is that there’s a hidden room in the back with its own name – Bogie’s Place – it’s own décor (leather banquets), and its own cosmopolitan steakhouse menu. So private I was not allowed to take pictures, you’ll have to make a reservation to score one of 16 seats.

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9. Bees on the roof of the Taj Hotel make the honey used in Taj Café desserts. Yes, there are hives atop this swanky hotel on Newbury St. across from the Public Gardens. The Taj Café has been tweaking its menu from “ladies who lunch” salads to deeper and more exotic offerings. As an India-based hotel, the Café offers a “Duel Menu” – with both New England and Indian cuisine. Just leave room for one of the house-made fresh-honey desserts.

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10. Verb Hotel. Speaking of bees, the buzz has been growing about this Rock and Roll boutique hotel in the shadow of Fenway Park, opened since August 2014. Many people don’t know that The Verb is actually the renovated and “up-cycled” Howard Johnsons, which stood on the same site. Situated on incredibly valuable land, developers first intended to knock down the HoJo and build a high-rise before they got all nostalgic for its role as a hangout for the area’s music scene. Now bright, beautiful, and fun, the Verb’s 93 rooms are generally sold out during Red Sox games and concerts, and increasingly booked off-season as well due to the hotel’s astonishingly cool vibe.

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Women and Retirement: Can You Afford Not to Save?

Dear Carrie,

For the past three years, my 29-year-old daughter has been working for a good company that offers a 401(k), but she still hasn’t started to contribute. She says she can’t afford it. How can I convince her to get going?

— A Reader

Dear Reader,

I wish I had enough space in this column to share with your daughter the myriad stories I’ve heard from women about their retirement worries. At 29, your daughter may feel she has lots of time to save, but just talk to someone 65 or 75 who’s struggling with limited retirement income, and the need to start saving early comes through loud and clear.

In fact, there’s been a fair amount of press recently about how women are falling behind in retirement savings. There are lots of explanations: women put others’ needs first; or they believe they can rely on their husbands for retirement; or they’re more risk averse when it comes to investing. But the hard truth is: We need to take care of ourselves.

Statistically, women live longer than men — and according to a report by the Department of Health and Human Services, A Profile of Older Americans (2012), almost half of all women 75 and older live alone. Yet, a publication by the U.S. Department of Labor (DOL), Women and Retirement Savings (2013), reports that only 45 percent of American working women participate in a retirement plan. Another hard reality is that women still earn roughly three-fourths of what men earn, which means their Social Security benefits are less.

To me, all this adds up to a clear wake-up call — one that women would be smart to heed as soon as they start working.

But knowing you need to do it and actually getting started are two different things. You might open your daughter’s eyes with this information, but the way to really get her going might be to give her some practical guidance. Here’s my advice.

Get the details
Help your daughter focus on her 401(k) options. First, does the company offer both a traditional and a Roth 401(k)? Contributions to a traditional 401(k) are tax deductible, which would lower her taxable income now, however she’d pay income taxes on withdrawals come retirement time. With a Roth 401(k), there’s an upfront tax deduction, but withdrawals at retirement are tax-free. If it’s available, a Roth can be a good choice for a young person who will likely be in a higher tax bracket come retirement.

Next, have her find out if there’s a company match and how much that is. As an example, let’s say your daughter’s company matches 50 cents on the dollar of her 401(k) contribution up to six percent of her salary. At the very least, wouldn’t she be able to contribute that six percent in order to gain an additional three percent?

Do the math
The longer your daughter waits to contribute to her 401(k), the more money she’s leaving on the table. Seeing how much money she already may have missed out on may be a good incentive to reprioritize. She should go over her fixed and flexible expenses to see where she could cut back. With some real numbers in front of her, it will be easier to figure out what percentage of her salary she could direct toward her 401(k). She can start small and then increase the percentage as her salary increases.

Also, since a 401(k) contribution automatically comes out of her paycheck, she’ll quickly get used to living on a slightly smaller monthly income.

Have confidence
The next step is for your daughter to get her savings working. Over the years, researchers have shown that women are less confident than men about investing and are more risk-averse. The DOL’s Women’s Bureau states that women tend to invest more conservatively than men. But while men may profess to be more confident and more comfortable with investment risk, this isn’t necessarily the wisest approach — and can actually be detrimental in terms of investing outcomes. The key here is to understand what constitutes ‘smart’ risk, which means looking at what you want to accomplish and your timeline, and then investing in a diversified mix of investments for the long term.

At 29, your daughter can confidently take some smart risk. She has the time to ride out market ups and downs. You might review the investing choices in her 401(k) with her and discuss the relative merits of each. Encourage her to choose a couple of diversified funds and watch what happens.

Don’t waste another minute — or dollar
Your daughter may feel she can’t afford to contribute to her 401(k) now, but I say she can’t afford not to. She should consider that if she starts saving and investing now, she could stick with saving just 10 to 15 percent of her annual salary for the rest of her working life. However, if she waits, she’ll be facing the prospect of having to save 20 percent, 30 percent — or more. And if she doesn’t save at all, she may be faced with a far less secure future in which she won’t be able to comfortably afford even the basics. I can’t imagine a stronger incentive to get going!

Looking for answers to your retirement questions? Check out Carrie’s new book, “The Charles Schwab Guide to Finances After Fifty: Answers to Your Most Important Money Questions.”

This article originally appeared on Schwab.com. You can e-mail Carrie at askcarrie@schwab.com, or click here for additional Ask Carrie columns. This column is no substitute for an individualized recommendation, tax, legal or personalized investment advice. Where specific advice is necessary or appropriate, consult with a qualified tax advisor, CPA, financial planner or investment manager.

COPYRIGHT 2015 CHARLES SCHWAB & CO., INC. (MEMBER SIPC.) (0515-3377)

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May Your Hearts Not Break

May Your Heart Not Break

by guest blogger Renee James, humorist and blogger

“May your hearts not break…”–A Wish for My Children, Evangeline Paterson

I don’t remember anything about my last Mother’s Day with my mom. Other than that it was in 2011. It may be because it was ordinary and the details would disappoint in their blandness. We gathered at her home for gifts, food, and family. Did we bring flowers? No idea. Then we hugged and kissed her goodbye, not prepared for the next Mother’s Day, the one where I was supposed to place flowers on her grave.

I didn’t leave a bouquet or a planter near my mother’s headstone last week. Doing so may feel right and comforting for some, but not for me. Every flower I’ve ever left at the cemetery mocks me and reminds me of the ones I didn’t place in a vase in my Mom’s kitchen when she could appreciate them. And I guarantee you if she were sitting beside me, she’d say in her supportive way, “You gave me tons of flowers! Don’t say that!” But I would say it anyway.

It’s not just that I miss my mom on Mother’s Day. (I miss her every day.) But Mother’s Day confuses me because the meaning of the day gets less and less obvious to me as I grow older. It feels like at a certain point in your “career” as a mother, you should take inventory, if you will. Yes, you’re always a mother, but your children have become–by all objective measures–adults. You’ve left behind the grades, the trophies, and the accolades that accompany academics, teams, and activities that are part of almost every child’s world (and yours, for a short time.) What do you celebrate now? The intangibles that matter so much more, I know: kindness and empathy; sincerity and grace; generosity and ethics; respect and curiosity. But I keep trying to sort this out–when does your child’s life stop being a measure of you as parent and start becoming one of them as an adult?

Parents seem to take on the results either way. Society values and celebrates financial success, so you proudly exclaim details about the brilliant white-collar professional you raised, and everyone gives that a “Like” and congratulates you on your “achievement.” You’ve scored the gold medal. And when your child’s path isn’t littered with promotions, a luxury lifestyle, and a six-figure salary by age 27, you take that on, as well–that mantle of someone who raised a child who is “finding his/her direction.” Sure, you were in the race but have little more than your finishing time to your credit.

In my more lucid moments, I realize that the “scoring” is subjective at best. I remind myself about the lessons so beautifully illustrated in Animal School, and how individuality and unique gifts are undervalued. My children are many, many things, and among them–thank you, God–they are individuals. And forget about the road less traveled. Sometimes it feels like they’re hacking their way through jungles and blazing trails, even as I keep pointing to the one that’s so familiar–I walked it myself!–so much smoother, so much more accessible, all but begging them to take it.

“Nah, thanks anyway, Mom.”

So back to my question: How much of you remains within your young adult? My theory is that it’s the inverse of age. As your children are growing up, much of them is you. It has to be. They need someone to model and “try on” as they grow. But as they reach a stage of independence or semi-independence, they surprise you with something that is uniquely them; with tiny moments of you still there…the parts you hoped would “stick.”

I’ve learned this much: Children inevitably grow up to be themselves. No more, no less. So the choice is yours: Do you celebrate that tidbit of equity you’ve established or feel dismay at its diminished role? I’ll share one example, courtesy of one of the unique individuals I helped raise. You decide what choice you think I made.

The good news: My son Cameron and his girlfriend, Sarah, love a good night out.
The bad news: Sometimes they choose a venue that feels a little…dive-ish?

The good news: The bar they chose recently was holding a “game night.”
The bad news: The game took place AFTER happy hour.

The good news: It was a spelling bee, and Cameron is a very good speller.
The bad news: It was a “stripped down” spelling bee, where contestants start off on stage in only their underwear. (I mentioned this was after happy hour, right?)

The good news: Cameron is sort of fearless, at least when it comes to first prize being $100 and second prize being $50.
The bad news: Cameron is sort of fearless, especially when it comes to what anyone thinks of him.

Me (the night before, incredulous): “In your underwear? Can you spell ‘indecent exposure’? Don’t you think they hope WOMEN will be in their underwear? And that they’ll start the contest as late as possible so more people will stay longer and buy more drinks? After the contestants are all slightly hammered and won’t be able to spell ‘beer?’ Don’t you think this has all the makings of a disaster?”
Cameron: “Nope.”

The bad news: He came in second.
The good news: He misspelled gonorrhea.

I call that excellent news.

Renee-JamesRenee A. James works at Rodale Inc. and wrote an award-winning op-ed column for The Morning Call, the Allentown, Pennsylvania, newspaper, for almost 10 years. Her essays were included in the humor anthology, 101 Damnations: A Humorists’ Tour of Personal Hells (Thomas Dunne Books, 2002), and are also found online at Jewish World Review and The Daily Caller. She invites you to Like her Facebook page, where she celebrates–and broods about–life on a regular basis, mostly as a voice in the crowd that shouts, “Really? You’re kidding me, right?” (or wants to, anyway), and she welcomes your suggestions, comments, and feedback to the mix.

For more from Maria Rodale, visit www.mariasfarmcountrykitchen.com

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Warrior Moms of Mental Health Advocacy

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via Stockvault.net

“Perhaps it takes courage to raise children.”
-John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Advocates. Partners. Heroes.
Brave. Fierce. Honest. Flawless.

These are only some of the words that describe three courageous mothers inspiring us all with their mental health advocacy: Kristin Guest, Cinda Johnson, and Liza Long. These women are my compatriots in the stand against this public health emergency that affects every single one of us. As we celebrate Mother’s Day in May, (also the month dedicated to mental health awareness) I pay a special tribute to these women who are a true gift to the world of advocacy.

Cinda Johnson
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With daughter Linea via Facebook

Cinda has been an advocate for many years, working as a special education professor, and has personal experience with mental health challenges through the journey with her daughter, Linea, who lives with bipolar disorder. In 2012 , they co-wrote the book Perfect Chaos, which was groundbreaking in sharing their poignant story as a family on the path to recovery. Cinda is an inspiring public speaker on this topic and has been a pioneer in encouraging people to speak out authentically about their experiences to end the isolation that can be so painful to people living with these challenges.

Kristin Guest
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Kristin and Mary

Kristin has demonstrated stunning strength and courage after losing her daughter, Mary, to suicide in 2013. Kristin and her family are revolutionaries in the way they have handled this unspeakable devastation and grief. In the obituary announcing their family’s sad news and loss, they were honest about the cause of their daughter’s death to suicide. This was a nobel action to take and an important one in helping to shed light on this topic that is hidden and silent. They also created a fund in Mary’s memory to sponsor our mental health prevention symposium next week. We are so grateful for this gift and opportunity to be able honor Mary and her work as a special education teacher specializing in work with children who have behavioral challenges. Kristin truly leads by example with her unwavering courage and honesty.

Liza Long
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via Facebook

Liza has set a new bar for authenticity in advocacy, and her fierce truth-telling in her blog post “I Am Adam Lanza’s Mother” motivates us all to be as open and direct as we can be about these difficult topics. Liza’s unprecedented courage, and unrelenting advocacy has been a game changer for our cause. As she says in our video interview below, “Liza & Janine Unplugged,” we all need role models – and she is definitely one of mine! I am grateful to call Liza a colleague and friend as she has become a true icon of mental health advocacy!

And here’s to all mom’s on all days who are parenting children with mental health challenges – let’s honor and support them not just on Mother’s Day but everyday!

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What the F Is Wrong With Parents Who Buy Booze for Their Kids?

For the past two years, I have gone into local high schools around prom time to speak to juniors and seniors about drugs and alcohol. I am really honest with them. I show them my mugshot from when I got a DUI with a blood alcohol level of .24. I show them the substance abuse treatment facility I went to. And I show them a picture of my brother who died at the age of 29 from a prescription drug overdose as well as a picture of where he is buried. I let them know that they if they are an alcoholic or addict and they don’t choose recovery, then their other options are jails, institutions or death. Although my motives aren’t to scare them, let’s face it: Addiction is scary shit. I’m just real with them.

I don’t Nancy Reagan them with “just say no,” but I do provide them with facts and information and share my own experience with drugs and alcohol. I try to clear up any misconceptions they might have about addiction. I tell them no one grows up wanting to be an alcoholic or addict. I tell them that you think you can stop if you want to until you can’t and it’s when I got to that point that I knew I had a problem. I tell them that once they try to control their drinking they have already lost control. And I tell them that there is a solution and that recovery is possible, and I tell them what that looks like.

What I didn’t realize until recently is that while I am putting all my effort into education and bringing awareness to students, I apparently need to do the same for their parents. Kids are getting mixed messages about underage drinking. Here I am telling kids how lame it is to get wasted — that it’s not necessary to have fun and that there are a hell of a lot of consequences they could save themselves by not drinking. Then I come to find out parents are hosting prom parties where alcohol is allowed and sometimes provided.

I’m sorry. What? Who are these parents? And you can save your argument for “providing a safe environment” for your kids to drink. It is one thing for parents to do this on a Tuesday night with their own kid (still don’t agree with it), but involving other people’s children is simply wrong and irresponsible. Oh, and not to mention illegal (this being, honestly, the least of my worries).

Are these parents ignorant? Trying to be cool? I honestly don’t get it. Parents need to be parents — make some rules, set some boundaries. They need to stop trying to be cool. They need to stop trying to be their kid’s friend. As much as kids want to get their way and make the rules, they need boundaries. They need rules. They need parents to lead by example, not to buy them a keg.

Just how serious and harmful is underage drinking? Data from a survey conducted by a scientist at Boston University School of Public Health and Youth Alcohol Prevention Center of 43,000 U.S. adults shows that early alcohol use, independent of other risk factors, contributes to the risk of developing future alcohol problems. Those who begin drinking in their early teens are not only at greater risk of developing alcohol dependence at some point in their lives but also at greater risk of developing dependence more quickly, not to mention chronic, relapsing dependence. Among all of those surveyed who developed alcoholism at some point, almost half (47 percent) met the diagnostic criteria for alcohol dependence (alcoholism) by the age of 21.

Meanwhile, the CDC reports that alcohol is responsible for more than 4,300 annual deaths among underage youth. Aside from dying, kids who drink alcohol are more likely to have unprotected sex, be physically or sexually assaulted, abuse other drugs and kill themselves. Those who start drinking before the age of 15 are five times more likely to develop alcohol dependence or abuse later in life than those who begin drinking at or after the age of 21.

So back to these parents. Is it just that they don’t know better? Parents are likely to think, “Not my kid.” They surely also think, “What’s the harm?” And that might be the case, but what if it’s not? What if their kid has a brain that responds differently to drugs and alcohol — a brain, that is, of an alcoholic or addict? You think your kid isn’t going to be an alcoholic or addict because you aren’t? Your kid is too smart for that? Unfortunately, that’s not under your control.

The social acceptance of underage drinking and the importance and reliance our society puts on alcohol is a problem that is killing our youth, and if the change isn’t going to start at home, then where? Parents need to provide teens with guidance and the proper tools to make good decisions, not a six-pack.

Originally posted on AfterParty Magazine.

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Your Clothes Are Still Made In China But Now They Are Wearables

Recently, I traveled to Hong Kong to check in on the tech, fintech and start-up scene including the Hong Kong Trade And Development’s Spring Electronics Fair. Just like any other trip, I fretted a bit over what to pack, what to wear? After all, Hong Kong is a fashion mecca, shopping destination, and everyone is wearing the latest trends.

What was everyone wearing this season in Hong Kong? Wearable technology, that’s what!

Wearables are one of the hottest new frontiers in tech: Last year, 71 percent of 16-24 year olds reported wanting to don wearable tech according to a GlobalWebIndex survey written up in Forbes. And research firm IHS has predicted that global shipments of wearable tech will reach 130.7 million by 2018, a significant jump from 51.2 million in 2013.

It’s part of the so-called “quantifiable self” movement: Older and younger generations alike want to use wearable technology to monitor their health and fitness, track their movements, navigate the world and alert loved ones in the case of emergencies. The market even includes military, industrial and infotainment applications.

With its advanced IT knowledge, access to manufacturing hubs, booming business environment and active co-working and incubator scenes, Hong Kong is playing an important role in the development of the wearable industry. Indeed, wearables were all the rage at Hong Kong’s Electronics Fairs this Spring and last Fall. The Spring fair included a seminar titled “Wearable Electronics are in Vogue.”

Some Hong Kong accelerators, which offer mentorship and support to startups, are even exclusively focused on wearables. For example, late last year, AIA Group, Hong Kong’s largest insurer, teamed up with business incubator Nest to create an accelerator dedicated to startups working on health-care related wearables. The AIA-Nest Accelerator is a 12-week program in Hong Kong that will offer mentoring and support to eight entrepreneurs from Asia. The program began on March 2 and concludes on June 4, when the participants will present their offerings to an audience of investors. Working space will be available for the startups in the government-funded Hong Kong Science and Technology Parks Corp.

What’s more, some Western wearables hardware makers are heading to Hong Kong to get closer to the centers of manufacturing in Asia. Soundbrenner, for instance, a German company that makes a wearable, vibrating metronome for musicians, is one startup that recently moved to the territory. Though they developed its first prototypes in Germany, the founders felt that their geographic location was hindering them. After they met Manav Gupta, CEO of Brinc, a Hong Kong-based hardware accelerator, at a local pitch competition, they packed up and decamped for Hong Kong to join the accelerator’s program.

Below is a sampling of a handful of Hong-Kong-based wearables companies, including one that has been around for decades and others that have just launched.

1. Simple Wearables is a health-care wearable based in Hong Kong that aims to protect the elderly and give their far-flung family members greater peace of mind. The device the firm offers can detect a fall, alerting emergency services to go to the rescue if necessary. The company is currently working with a hospital group to receive 100 products for testing in the Phillippines, where CEO and co-founder Angelo Umali’s 92-year-old grandmother lives. Umali designed and built the application himself. He has degrees in electrical engineering from UCLA and Stanford, and this is his third company.

2. Clothing, which is based in both Finland and Hong Kong, specializes in wearable biometric sensors embedded in clothing. The company developed the first heartbeat and rate sensor for a shirt back in 1998, so it’s been around for a while. Customers include Adidas, Garmin and Under Armour, among others, as well as some hospitals, who use Clothing+ to monitor heart beat and breathing in patients. The Clothing+ app also allows for the storage of data.

3. CityU Apps Lab and Hong Kong’s CDAHK (Chiropractic Doctors’ Association of Hong Kong) have developed an app called “Posture Check” to help consumers correct bad posture. The app requires the user to take two pictures of himself, one front and one side and line these up with a simple skeleton. The app then gives you feedback on your posture and suggests exercises you can do, along with chiropractic options. One of the challenges they faced was designing an app that was easy to use and would not cause anxiety if the analysis was off in the event of user error.

4. Faze In, another Hong Kong-based company, started to produce smart watches five years ago, and now it is working to develop devices that link with smartphones and tablets via mobile apps. Last year, the company launched its proprietary line of EZIO smartwatches, which features incoming call alerts, message and email notifications and an out-of-range alarm. The watches are designed in Italy, manufactured in China and sold in Southeast Asia and European countries including France, Germany, Italy, Spain and the UK.

Want to be “in fashion?” Find out more about business development in wearables in Hong Kong, the support services available to wearables startups and growing demand for wearables among mainland Chinese.

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