Hasta La Gadget!

A few weeks ago I was being interviewed about being a woman in an executive leadership role, and the interviewer asked me, “What were your most defining moments in your career?”

Without hesitating, I stated, “It was when I took advantage of stupid bold moments!”

Since that conversation, I’ve been reflecting on those times and can clearly see how each one was a significant catalyst to who I am, what I am doing professionally and even who I married. (Yes, even that was a bold moment!)

I love those moments!

I define a “stupid bold moment” as a time when I don’t have all the information, my intuition or emotional energy outweighs the data, and I have a short window of opportunity to decide. However — they only become bold moments when you allow yourself to be open to them and you seize the opportunity.

These opportunities offer incredible stretches. They are uncomfortable times. It is a time of bravery. You see the risk of failure as extraordinarily high. You are daring — willing to “show up” even when you don’t know the consequences. But you can also glimpse the incredible “gifts” those moments could give you. So they are not really “stupid” moments but rather significant “leaps of faith.” Where I envision the future possibilities and the potential upside to be too great to pass up. I believed in in the future.

So why are these bold moments amazing and challenging for women in particular? Because remaining inside our comfort zone is thought to be the #1 way that women unknowingly limit their own chances of being promoted.

In my career I must have interviewed over a thousand candidates. It was not unusual for the male to put his “name in the hat” for roles he was not yet qualified for based on the job spec. He believed in his future “potential” — not limited by his past successes. I would say less than 15 percent of the women would do the same. Women tend to evaluate themselves on past performance and current skills — asking themselves, “Can I do the whole job today?” This thought process stops many women from taking that next bold move.

Getting outside your comfort zone can be challenging. I know. But if you thought of it as an adventure — would that make it easier for you? Seize the opportunity — stretch and grow. Reap the rewards — some that you seek, others that just show up.

So as I reflected post that interview on my own bold moments a few memories just jump to mind. At the age of 28 I had talked a pharmaceutical sales leader at Merck into taking a chance on me (an HR manager at the time) and giving me a job in sales. (BTW — I had neither pharmaceutical sales experience nor a science background.) My rationale: I wanted to have greater business acumen. I convinced him that they needed me.

Now here’s that bold moment: He asked, “How serious are you? Would you be willing to move if I gave you an opportunity?”

I said, “Yes! Of course.” (I didn’t believe he literally meant what he said…)

He then told me, “Great! Fly out to Los Angeles tomorrow, report to Ray and we will move your stuff.”

Wow! Gulp.

“OK! I’m in!” Goodbye, boyfriend. Quick call to landlord and my dad. Last call to corporate travel — booked my ticket and never looked back.

Result: I stayed in sales for two years, got promoted once, and even though I ended up moving back into HR — I never left California. That experience not only gave me that business acumen, it helped accelerate my career and it gave me a foundational confidence that I lean on today.

Next bold moment on a personal side. Picture the scene: new to California, new to my job… trying to find an apartment. Met an amazing couple and they introduced me to a great guy (FYI: day 2 in CA). We dated for three months — had a ton in common. One night at dinner he asked me to marry him. I asked “When?” He said “Tonight!”

Gulp!

Then he said I was his best friend, that we would be amazing together. Remembering that my mom said she was lucky to marry her best friend, I said, “Let’s go!” Four hours later — married in Vegas (not in a wedding chapel with Elvis, in case you were wondering) and am still happily married after 21 years and three amazing kids.

Clearly I didn’t have enough information for that decision! That decision/bold moment gave me confidence in life and it also provided me with a partner who appreciates and supports my bold moments.

My current bold adventure? Joining LinkedIn, speaking publicly and beginning to blog. I’m an introvert. Sharing my thoughts and personal stories in such a public way is scary. Why do I do this? Because I believe that others can learn from my journey, my mistakes and begin to challenge themselves.

Now what about you? What have been your bold moments?

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Yesterday, I received my cap and gown from Pomona College. I had never seen these curious garments in person until coming to the US for college almost four years ago. There are only ten days before I don them myself and walk across the temporary stage set up in our quad, rows of families sweating before me in the California sun. Though I look forward to graduating, I dread the ceremony. Some of the time before then will inevitably be spent reflecting on the choices I have made through college. More will inevitably be spent thinking about the choices that I did not get to make: those that were taken away from me.

My first day of college, I was sexually assaulted by a fellow student. I had naively gone back to his room; when I tried to exit, he did not let me. He grabbed my wrists and pinned them forcibly to the wall. I squirmed and stated my intention to leave, I told him no, but he pressed his body against mine to free his hands. He groped my breasts and touched my vagina over my clothes before forcing his hand down my shorts. I was so confused and terrified; there was no way for me to escape. Unable to move or fully comprehend the situation, I stopped struggling and waited for it to end.

Officially, my assailant sexually assaulted me on one more occasion. That incident was more than a year later. Even then, I had difficulty understanding what I had gone through. A stranger to this country, I thought that it might be normal — just something girls at college had to deal with. Campus dialogue and the media were mostly focused on rape. I told myself I was lucky not to have been raped. It took me three years in to realize that what had happened to me was a punishable offense.

I may not have been raped, but I was haunted by those incidents. Before I understood that I had been sexually assaulted, I was all the more confused by how much the sense of helplessness had invaded my life. Why should it? I was lucky not to have been raped. When I realized that my assailant’s actions were not just morally wrong, but in breach of school policy and the law, my pain felt more justified. I decided that one way I could heal was to report my assailant, even though I was in my senior year.

I still cannot go into specifics regarding the investigation, but I will say that it was flawed. From the outset, the process was isolating; I was told henceforth to keep details about my experiences to myself, and I was concerned I might open myself up to disciplinary action. My assailant was eventually found guilty of two incidences of sexual assault, but the greatest shock came last: the sanctions imposed were extremely light.

I wish that I did not feel this way, but a part of me regrets filing the complaints in the first place. I thought that the process might help me to heal, but it instead opened entirely new wounds when I realized that the College was happy to treat someone who had aggressed and violated me with such leniency. Had I known justice would not be served, even after my assailant was found responsible, I would never have subjected myself to this process.

Even after the investigation was concluded, the administration told me to keep its details, results, and indeed, my experiences, to myself. The school had found him responsible, and yet I was still to be silenced. This silence cannot continue. On some level, they deemed his offenses acceptable, and people deserve to know that they are not. Sexual violence does not need to be penetrative to be devastating. Colleges need to understand the unacceptable nature of such transgressions, especially when repeated. No one should have to feel marginalized, ashamed and silenced by their college’s administration and Title IX process.

In my opinion, there is a clear conflict of interests: college administrators are responsible for keeping students safe, but also for maintaining the reputation and image of the institution. The severity of non-penetrative assaults is downplayed so as to keep four-year graduation rates high, and expulsion and suspension rates low; this is indefensible. It furthermore forces already traumatized survivors to advocate for change themselves.

We have to remember that rape culture does not start and end with rape. While we must punish rape with the harshest of sanctions, we cannot only punish rape. Rape does not occur in a vacuum — there are many types of sexual violence and colleges need to take all of them seriously. The only way we can change the mindset of college administrators is by speaking up and broadening the conversation on sexual violence to include other types of sexual violence other than non-consensual penetration.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-656-HOPE for the National Sexual Assault Hotline.

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For entrepreneurs and small businesses, taking an idea from concept to reality can be an incredibly exciting, albeit stressful, adventure. You developed a prototype, crafted your business plan and your project is starting to come to life. You’re on the verge of the next big thing. There’s only one major problem: How do you pay for it?

By nature, entrepreneurs have great ideas and a burning desire to see them through. But many future CEOs aren’t independently wealthy (yet), don’t have access to credit facilities (or have exhausted them already) and lack a rich uncle from the family tree willing to write a large check. But that shouldn’t stop anyone! There are plenty of other options. In fact, the recent implementation of the JOBS act has created more opportunities for companies to raise capital than ever before.

One of those opportunities is crowdfunding, and it could be the catalyst that takes your business to the next level. With proper planning and execution, crowdfunding can be a powerful tool to help raise the funds you need to get going. Before you begin though, here are five things to consider before launching a crowdfunding campaign:

1. Find the Right Fit

Many people hear the word “crowdfunding” and immediately think of Kickstarter. While it is an incredible platform, Kickstarter is by no means the only game in town. There are other options offering different services that may be a better fit for your company. For example, platforms like Flashfunders and CircleUp allow a company to sell equity to a network of Accredited Investors.

Similar to the traditional investment banking industry, crowdfunding platforms are becoming specialized. Ask yourself the following questions before you pick a crowdfunding site to work with:

· Do I want to sell equity?

· What industry am I in?

· How much money do I want to raise and in what increments?

These answers will help form your criteria for picking a funding partner that aligns with your goals. This is a highly important part of the process that is often undervalued. Find the right fit and your chance of success will increase dramatically.

2. Ask for the Right Amount of Money

Most crowdfunding sites return an investor’s money if a company does not reach its investment goal. All of your hard work could be for nothing if you fall just one dollar short of your $100,000 target. On the flip side, most platforms will allow a company to exceed their goal and collect additional funds above and beyond what they were asking for.

Find out how much money you need to get the company off the ground and set that as your minimum. All too often companies will set a goal that allocates funds to things that aren’t really necessary to start the business. Trim the fat before setting your minimum. There’s no penalty for going over your goal but it can be a harsh reality if you set the bar too high and can’t reach it. Don’t take that risk.

3. Future Customers Are Good Investors

Friends and family are always a good place to find your first seed money. But where do you go after that? I have always looked at every customer as a potential investor. Your customers are already paying for your product so they presumably like what you’re doing. They are already familiar with your brand or service. You don’t need to cast a huge net over social media to find your money; you need to target the right places. Your current or future customers are the best place to start.

4. Network

There is no doubt that social media plays a vital role in any crowdfunding campaign. That said, there is still no substitute for shaking hands and creating real relationships. It’s easier to invest in someone you know and trust than someone you met on the internet. Go to networking events, mixers, chamber of commerce meetings and anywhere else you can meet new people to tell about your company. As your network expands, so will your potential investor base.

5. Look for Exemptions in Your State

You don’t have to use an online platform to reap the benefits of crowdfunding. My company, Fireman’s Brew, has raised over $2 million under California Corporations Code 25102(n). This exemption allows companies to advertise a private stock offering and sell up to $5 million of securities to California residents that have a lower net worth than the typical Federal Accredited Investor qualifications. We utilized social media, advertised in firefighter magazines and handed out flyers at every promotional event we could to reach new investors while avoiding transaction fees to a crowdfunding platform. Other states have similar options that are worth looking into before making your decision.

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When Hamlet exclaims, “The play’s the thing!” he is about to become a scribe. Of course, this is simply a plot device — Shakespeare, considered one of the best writers in history, had a plan for his young prince. But isn’t this true of all great playwrights? Don’t they have plans for their characters and, just as important, for their audiences?

In a time when technology has left all with opposable thumbs glued to their four-inch screens, I asked the producers and writer/director behind the Los Angeles production of the Pied Pipers of the Lower East Side why they would go to such great lengths to stage a New York theatrical production in a traditionally non-theatre town like the City of Angels. Sure we have the reputation of being the entertainment capital of the world but that is with recorded media crafted with film crews on sound stages. Live theatre, however, is typically a New York vocation occasionally visited by those screen actors with a performance itch. Yet just west of Hollywood in a trendy community east of Fairfax Blvd. on the south side of Melrose Avenue, sits the Matrix Theatre Company: a legendary 99-seat equity waiver mainstay that has been featuring original plays and classic tales for decades and is the current home for Pied Pipers. What I learned was as basic as any other decision, plays are designed to be performed. Period.

To better understand the challenges of staging a theatrical production in a non-equity house it is first necessary to understand the intricacies of producing theatre. Derek Ahonen, the writer/director, was attached to direct so there was no problem in securing the rights. RZT Productions inked The Matrix Theatre. All that remained was to cast the roles and the financing which seemed to be less of a hurdle than one would think. The reputation behind Pied Pipers motivated Jordan Tisdale to fly to LA from NY in order to audition for the role of “Wyatt,” a good decision since he eventually won the job. Theatre — check. Cast — check. Rehearsal — check. Audience… now this is where the real heavy lifting begins.

Angelinos have an innate sense of the three-act structure: we get in the car, we endure traffic, we arrive at our destination. Late. And there lies the big distinction between LA and NYC, our cluttered car culture shuns certain niceties that others take for granted: we do our best not to travel during certain hours of the day, and we valet park even at the supermarket. Theatre is typically a farther drive than your local megaplex where the curtain lifts at the tail end of “rush hour”. Valet parking? Hard to say. The other distraction is that many New York apartments can fit into the living rooms of Los Angeles mini-mansions. That means that our furniture often includes plush couches that face mammoth televisions with large curved screens and an assortment of designations for vibrancy and clarity. How can black box theatres compete with a 4K screen and six-speaker surround sound all while in your pajamas?

Assuming your television is on the blink and you have a deep yearning for culture, then theatre, especially this production of Pied Pipers, is your ticket. Early on producers Joey Tuccio and Alex Zoppa, along with Derek Ahonen, recognized one of the most important aspects of producing theatre in Los Angeles: social media. Employing Facebook, Twitter and the other currently relevant digital cork-boards are vital, and to this team’s credit, they did it with aplomb. Unlike New York, where audiences seek out new productions and shows thrive by word of mouth, Los Angeles, with its sprawling landscape and assorted communities, must rely on a more proven communication model. Yes, the show was a raucous success in New York playing to sold out crowds week after week. Opening in Los Angeles, the team’s strategy proved just as successful filling the house night after night. Of course it helps that Pied Pipers is enormously entertaining as it challenges social norms through well-written prose and fine performances. Tasteful nudity advances the plot just as it should.

Pied Pipers of the Lower East Side continues its run at the Matrix Theatre Company through the end of May. Word-of-mouth, social media and great reviews won’t lead you astray. If you’re in the Los Angeles area, turn off your TV, get in your car and plan accordingly. It’s worth the effort.

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It was the most indulgent reason I knew for going to Brussels: I was tired of mediocre chocolate. Spring had finally sprung; Easter was approaching; and I didn’t want to be subjected to more substandard offerings from the likes of Russell Stover and Hershey.

To me, Hershey’s always had the dependable consistency of dried paint. Even at a young age, growing up with the stuff, I knew there had to be more exotic out there somewhere.

More exotic than Godiva, which, while it may be authentic Belgian chocolate, doesn’t count because it’s also sold at my local department store. And Barnes & Noble. How ordinary can you get?

I wanted to go all the way — to Brussels, and indulge in the other offerings at the source in extravagant adult candy land. That’s why I was thrilled that I had an airline credit that was about to expire. It didn’t pay for the whole trip but it helped considerably. Best part: I’d be there for Easter, a red-letter day for chocoholics.

There are any number of chocolate-tasting tours you can take in Brussels. There’s also a chocolate museum. I opted for looking things up on my own. The tours are expensive and seem rushed. But if you don’t have the time, they may be just the thing.

Fortunately, I had a few days and I knew which chocolatiers I wanted to visit. It was just a matter of logistics. Brussels is relatively compact, so almost everything was accessible by foot or public transportation.

Big chocolate replica at Zaabar of the Manneken-Pis, a bizarre Brussels tourist attraction in another part of town.
Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

One of my first stops was at a place called Zaabar. (Not to be confused with Zabar’s, an all-around foodie haven in NYC.)

The Brussels place is a chocolate manufacturer where they give chocolate-making classes. Far from the only one, of course.

I didn’t have time for a class; I just had one question for the nice folks at Zaabar: What makes Belgian chocolate Belgian chocolate? Why can one average-size box cost more than a year’s supply of Hershey Kisses? (OK, gross exaggeration, but not as much as you might think: I spent 75 bucks in one store on not very much.)

The answer, apparently, is the formula: larger amounts of cocoa and cocoa butter; it has to adhere to certain government standards. Which are supposed to protect against watered-down dreck. It’s generally handmade, and there’s something to do with the heating and cooling process. See here. And here.

Now that the technical stuff’s out of the way, here’s the results of The Official Planet Lippstone Belgian Chocolate Taste Test. In other words, is it worth the trip?

The rules were pretty simple. The tastings had to: A) Leave me swooning. B) Gasping for more.

I stuck with dark chocolates to keep things consistent. Your tastebuds may vary.

I spaced things out over a couple days. Otherwise, each of the flavors would have cancelled the other out. Here then, the results, from awesome to awful.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Neuhaus. The story goes that in the 19th century, Jean Neuhaus opened a pharmacy and dipped the medicines in chocolate to make them tastier. His grandson replaced the drugs with cream, which he dubbed a praline, the first filled chocolate. No wonder my chocolate-covered vanilla butter cream, went down so smooth. Not like chewy, vanilla-flavored glue. More? Yes, please.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Wittamer. Swoon City. Supposed to be a favorite with the Belgian royals. The hot chocolate was a nectar of dark and light chocolate. With fab whipped cream and luscious little pastries. What a rush, and not in a sickening-sweet way.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Pierre Marcolini. Trendy and expensive. Informally dubbed the “Christian Dior” of chocolate. A big local favorite. Packaging was gorgeous. Marcolini’s version of one of my staples, chocolate-covered marshmallows, was fluffy, not the usual gummy pads that give you instant cavities. Easter eggs were understated. A little too understated.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

The chocolate-covered orange peel wasn’t too sweet and runny like marmalade, and the chocolate was crisp. All in all, good, but overrated, IMO. (The host at the Airbnb where I was staying was shocked that Marcolini wasn’t tops on my list.)

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Frederic Blondeel. After savoring one mint chocolate, I wanted another. And another.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Passion Chocolat. Yet another local hangout. I waited for a well-heeled woman to finish buying out the place before I picked my one champagne truffle. I don’t drink and know nothing about champagne, but it was very pleasant. Neither the champagne nor the chocolate was overwhelming. Just what I need. Another bad habit …

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Leonidas. Another venerable brand. The chocolate-covered coffee cream was just OK. And the chocolate-covered orange peel was too plastic and not as subtle as Marcolini’s.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Jean Galler. Word is the Belgian royal family likes to pig out here, too. The chocolate-covered waffle thingy was a new item. An overpriced Pop-Tart. Maybe I should have tried something else.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Mary. Pretty, but the chocolate-covered vanilla butter cream did nothing for me.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

Elisabeth. Huge letdown. There it was, what looked like the Belgian chocolate version of the Mallomar, my number-one indulgence. Chocolate-covered marshmallow with flaky graham cracker crust. Wait a minute: No graham cracker here. Too crispy and tasteless. Billy Crystal, you’re right: The lowly Mallomar is still the greatest cookie of all time.

Zaabar. Yes, the place that gives chocolate-making lessons is no place to learn from, if you ask me. Seems the owner, who’s Belgian, fell in love with Turkey and decided to combine chocolate with things it should never be combined with. Namely, spices that have no business mucking up other flavors, let alone chocolate.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

I sampled chocolate mixed with fennel, rose, pepper, mace (really) and turmeric. Vile. I’ll take my turmeric in my curry, thank you. Not mixed in with dessert.

Photo Credit: Laura Lippstone

At this point, I’d had it. No thanks. No more. Raising the white flag.

I was sick and drunk on all that sugar, and craving real food. I was finally listening to what my body had been trying to tell me for a lifetime: Chocolate is a treat and not one of the four basic food groups.

Haven’t had any since, unless you count, uh, some marshmallow twists for Passover from my local supermarket. Cheap and gummy. But hey, I’ll concede cheap and gummy has its place sometimes.

So is Belgian chocolate worth a trip to Belgium? Sure, if you happen to be there anyway. But, as I quickly discovered, it’s really beside the point.

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