May 20

13 Signs You've Gotten Way Too Comfortable With Your Long-Term Partner

Posted in: Today's Chili

Most happy long-married or long-term couples will say they’d never trade the comfort and trust they have now for the giddiness and unpredictability of a new romance. However, it’s safe to say that at least some of these long relationships, even the happiest ones, might benefit from just a bit more, well, mystery. Sure, your partner may have seen you at your worst, with no makeup, morning breath or even sick as a dog on the bathroom floor. That doesn’t mean they should be in the bathroom brushing their teeth while you pee.

So with a little help from our Facebook friends, we’ve come up with a pretty extensive list of those everyday things that show you might — just might — be a tad too comfortable in your relationship:

1. You pee or poo with the bathroom door open (or while your partner is in the bathroom).

2. You’re nicer to complete strangers than you are to your significant other.

3. You have no problem telling him/her they need a breath mint (ouch).

4. You haven’t worn makeup in so long that your mascara tubes are crusty and your lipsticks smell funny.

5. To you, granny panties are just, well, panties (it’s all about the comfort, baby).

6. You can openly talk about your bowel movements/gas/other bodily functions or upsets.

7. Your S.O. buys your tampons/pads/feminine hygiene products for you.

8. You buy your own birthday gift from your partner and vice-versa.

9. Date night consists of binge-watching on Netflix and relaxing in sweats.

10. You go braless around the house (and it’s not always sexy).

11. You sometimes can’t sell the difference between his and hers when folding laundry.

12. When traveling, you both know your roles. (You check in at the hotel while he parks the car and grabs the bags.)

13. You replace your husband’s worn-out underwear without him even knowing it.

Have anything to add? Let us know in comments!

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May 20

Apichatpong Werasethakul's "Cemetery of Splendour": A Dream Film at Cannes

Posted in: Today's Chili

To watch an Apichatpong Werasethakul film is to be lulled into a dream state. His latest film, Cemetery of Splendour, which premiered at Cannes this week, immerses you in a surreal and yet real world, on the line of wakefulness and sleep: literally a hospital (once a schoolhouse), in the Thai town of Khon Kaen, where forty soldiers are interned for “sleeping sickness”, occasionally waking only to tumble into slumber, even mid-meal. Jenjira, a middle-aged woman with a damaged leg, takes care of one of these sleeping soldiers, a comatose man named Itt. For much of the film, she is patiently kneeling by Itt’s bedside, and caressing his hand.

The spectator drifts into a quiet state with the palm trees swaying in the windows, the cicadas chirping, the sounds of the fan. At one point, a woman comes to the hospital to teach mediation: “Feel the energy of the stars,” she says soothingly. “And bring that energy inside you.” As she spoke, I did the same in my chair.

The surreal aspect is upped step by step. A pretty young medium comes and communicates with the unconscious of the soldiers, confiding to Jen that the soldiers’ souls have been taken by a warrior emperor to fight his battles, one thousand years before. The hospital, she states, is built on the remains of a cemetery of kings. Later this winsome medium takes Jenjira through a forest, pointing to the leafy ground: the site, she says, of palace rooms, which the sleeping Itt seems to have mapped out with strange squares and circles in a notebook. In another scene, Jenjira travels to pray at a shrine, laying down figurines as offerings. Two young girls come to thank her for her offering; they are princesses of the shrine, they tell her. 1000 year old princesses. Indeed they are dead. Jenjira lifts an eyebrow.

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At times, the film becomes a series of beautiful installation pieces, playing with color and light, to enhance the limbo of dreaminess. My favorite sequence is that of a series of shots of the lit town at night: a neon light over a bus-stop, illuminating a poster of a wedding studio advertisement; the night “therapy” lights on the sleeping soldiers (designed by the director), that look like long fluorescent loops and change from blue to green to red.

I also like the random images that don’t make sense. A machine in the lake that spits up brilliant drops of water. A giant amoeba floating in the sky. The men at the side of the lake who suddenly stand up and move in various formations. A movie theater where, at the conclusion of the film, the entire audience stands up, as if in military salute.

The director has noted that many of the images in the film are those of his own memories in this town: the local movie theater, the school classroom we see in ruins, the brightly lit night market where the medium and Jenjira chat and eat. A Cemetery of Splendour is a collage of his native Thailand, the layered memories of the past, both his own and that of the nation.

Still there is something unsettling about this dream. Everyone seems to be waiting. But waiting for what? Something—beyond cemeteries–is buried under the surface. While the images are serene and whimsical, I intuited a disturbing subtext to this hynoptic world–especially since Apichatpong Werasethakul introduced the premiere, on stage, by speaking about how difficult it was in Thailand now, living under a dictatorship.

I met with the director to discuss.

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Could you please explain the contemporary context of Thailand, for a non-Thai audience?

Thailand has a lot of coup d’etats, repeatedly. Every time it happens a lot of people die; the last one was just last year, in May, when the military took over. Now if you say something against the government, they will convoke you to “Attitude Adjustment”. You have to sign something that says you will not say anything again.

Why this emphasis on sleep and dreaming in your film?

I have been interested for the last five years in sleeping and dreaming. For me, the act of sleeping is an act of escape, and that is what is going on now in Thailand: one wants to escape from the country. Sometimes you feel very powerless, in that all you can do is go away. I work on many projects, art projects. Sometimes you cannot deal with reality, and you don’t know if it is a dream. Sometimes the situation in Thailand is so absurd and so violent that I feel threatened….

There are a lot of random elements in the film, that don’t entirely make sense. Could you please explain, for example, why everyone suddenly stands up to salute in the theater?

Because we are always standing up in Thailand! We have to stand up at eight in the morning for the National Anthem.

Why the palace in the forest? Why the cemetery under the hospital?

Thailand is a young country, with many layers of civilizations: the Kingdom of Laos, the Khmer of Cambodia. I want to present those layers of history. We don’t live in only one reality, but in different layers of memories. I want the film to reflect on and lament the ruins of past kingdoms. In Thailand, we do not know the roots of who we are. We have been taught propaganda history in school: “We are the best,” etc. Did you note that image in my film of the bas relief of soldiers? It was a wall created to commemorate a prime minister who died a long time ago, Sarit Thanarat. He was a total dictator. He embezzled a lot of money. Along the way he killed people. The town is still celebrating him!

Your film, like your previous films, has ghosts and other supernatural elements…

In this region of Thailand, we are very superstitious. We are Hindu, Animistic. You believe in the invisible. People live in the fantastic. I will give you an example: a road once cracked in the village. It became a very strange shape. People put candles on the crack and started to pray. They believe in the spirit; they need to worship the invisible.

But do you believe in the other-worldly elements in your film: the ghost princesses who come to Jenjira for example?

(AW laughs) Oh I think it is all nonsense. For me, it is a joke. But the character is ready to believe they are phantoms. Many Thai people believe in phantoms—- It is so funny how people are ready to believe in anything. But in my film, there is no judgement. As for me, I am interested in the different parallel universes, of time and space.

What is that machine spitting water bubbles in the lake, and why do you have such a lengthy close-up on it?

(AW laughs) Oh that is a water propeller, a machine to keep oxygen in the water, for the equilibrium in the water, so it does not go bad. Why did I put it in? Oh, I grew up with it; it was always there in the water. And the soldiers are like the fish: they too need oxygen. Water is life, the cycle.

What is everyone waiting for in this film?

They are waiting to wake up.

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May 20

Why You Should Drink Bloody Marys On Planes: Study

Posted in: Today's Chili

Do you crave Bloody Marys while flying?

Researchers at Cornell University say noisy situations — like the 85 decibels aboard a jetliner — create cravings for umami-rich foods like tomato juice.

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May 20

This App Will Remind You To Enjoy Your Food, Not Your Phone, During Dinner

Posted in: Today's Chili

Try as you might, it’s tough to avoid looking down at your phone during dinner. But a new app called Dinner Mode is trying to make things a tad simpler — it will make you feel guilty if you try to pick up your phone during dinner.

The app makes it easy to disconnect by allowing users to set a timer for 15 minutes, 30 minutes or an hour of “off time.” Just set the timer and turn your phone face down to start. If you can make it through the entire dinner without turning your phone over — congratulations!

dinner mode

But if you don’t make it through meal and end up giving in to those text messages, a “wamp wamp” screen will come up. If you’re brave enough, you can start the challenge all over again.

Sloane Davidson, the creator of Dinner Mode, told The Huffington Post she created the app “as a nod, a nudge to encourage people to be offline while they were eating,” because we are “more addicted to our smartphones that we are willing to admit.”

Download the app for free at the Apple Store now.

H/T Foodbeast

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May 20

Why Are So Many High Achieving Girls Unhappy?

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Happiness is the ultimate currency — more than wealth, achievements or material possessions — and we should raise our children, structure our schools and live our lives in a way that maximizes it. That’s the message of the book I just finished, Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar, as part of research for my new book on parenting girls ages 16-24.

I can’t say I ever gave much thought to happiness. I come from a family where happiness was seen as an “extra,” a kind of frill to life — nice to have, but certainly not necessary and by no means paramount. Work was king. Suffering meant you were working hard. It made you worthy.

It’s no coincidence that the most popular class at Harvard was about something many hard-driving students likely lived without: happiness. Ben-Shahar taught it. All around him at Harvard and in the mirror, he saw the archetype of the “rat racer,” the achievement-driven soul who delayed his own happiness in order to reach some future destination (graduation, a good job, a signing bonus, etc.).

I am a recovering rat racer. That’s why I’m writing this next book.

All around me, I see girls forced to become rat racers in the College Application Industrial Complex, the subculture where students must craft themselves into the perfect specimens for college admission and often lose their authenticity, love of learning and sense of self in the process.

According to Ben-Shahar, the rat racer thinks achieving goals makes her happy, and so justifies her suffering (and it’s usually significant: think sleeplessness, stress, Adderall) with this belief. Then, when she survives exam period (or the all-nighter, or the SAT prep), she mistakes relief for happiness.

The rat racer experiences very little pleasure or meaning in her everyday life, so focused is she on the destination. But when purpose is not self-generated — when you are working day and night for an achievement (college admission) that someone has designated for you, and which lies far off in the future — a win that you are perhaps more afraid not to get than you may actually genuinely want — true motivation plummets. Students feel empty. To be truly motivated, Ben Shahar writes, “[w]e need a more specific and tangible sense that we are doing something meaningful next week, tomorrow, later today.”

He continues:

Happiness is achieved when we find the right balance of meaning (or purpose) and enjoyment of our tasks, and when we are engaged in an activity that has both present and future benefit. Students experience an internal sense of potential when they do what challenges them, performing activities “that use them fully and well.”

The state of “flow,” defined as peak experience and peak performance, can’t be achieved without some combination of pleasure and challenge. In other words, in order to be truly happy, you have to struggle and also be engaged in what you’re doing.

But the College Application Industrial Complex doesn’t make room for struggle. It wants perfection. Parents, of course, have picked up on this, and have stepped in to ensure that children maintain spotless resumes. But struggle motivates human beings to accomplish, connecting them with their sense of purpose, passion for the task and drive to succeed. In fact, Ben Shahar concludes, “the process of striving for goals is more important than having them.”

In a summary of research on goals and happiness, one scholar wrote, “People seeking greater well-being would be well advised to focus on (a) pursuit of goals involving growth, connection and contribution rather than goals involving wealth, beauty and popularity, and (b) goals that are interesting and personally important to them, rather than goals they feel pressured to pursue.” When we focus on the externals, we’re more likely to experience distress, depression and anxiety. The internal goals give us more meaning.

As I interview girls living in the CAIC and the undergraduates who have just left it, I am struck by how the very terms of their lives run opposite to everything we know about happiness.

Many of these girls:

  • Are motivated by external goals over internal goals. Developing a sense of purpose or meaning is replaced by the relentless pursuit of external rewards.
  • Delay their happiness in the service of obtaining future pleasure (college admission).
  • Disregard the journey (learning from failures, exploration, curiosity) in favor of fixation on the end result (college admission or a good job out of school).
  • Avoid the challenge that can lead to the peak experience of “flow” in order to avoid failure.
  • Experience their strengths and skills being engaged ONLY if they happen to fulfill the requirements of the Complex. If they possess unusual interests that don’t meet the Complex’s criteria for the definition of success and college admission, these interests are ignored and often atrophy.
  • Experience a sense of being loved not for their intrinsic selves, but for their accomplishments. They are not encouraged to follow their passions, regardless of prestige or success.

In the last five years, we’ve become besotted with character strengths like grit, growth mindset and optimism (some call these non-cognitive skills). Ben Shahar’s book is 10 years old, but it’s essentially an argument to designate happiness, and its pursuit, another non-cognitive skill. Happiness, he’s saying, will help you stick with a task because you experience pleasure doing it (grit), better tolerate failure because you have a self-generated purpose (growth mindset), and help you look at the bright side because you’re so motivated to succeed (optimism).

Yet, we still discount happiness as a worthwhile pursuit. We think being happy means we stop trying. We conflate happiness with laziness or complacency. In fact, many of us feel unworthy of happiness — especially girls. Many believe they are not enough as they are, that they must be thinner, smarter, sexier. But, Ben-Shahar concludes, “[y]ou have to believe you’re worthy to believe you deserve to be happy.”

Happiness doesn’t just happen. It must be pursued. And if the pursuit of the “ultimate currency” of happiness helps us choose occupations that confer present and future benefit and these choices in turn motivate us to succeed, this strikes me as perhaps the most powerful non-cognitive skill of all.

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May 20

Applauding #girlswithtoys

Posted in: Today's Chili

Over the weekend, an online firestorm erupted when an astronomer referred to “boys with toys” when talking about telescopes during an interview with NPR. That comment might not, at first glance, seem particularly offensive. But it’s yet one more recent example of a pervasive culture of bias — whether conscious or unconscious — in fields that typically have low (or lower than normal) percentages of female representation.

Kate Clancy, listening to the program with her daughter, was upset both as a scientist and a mother, and so she did something about it. She created the hashtag #girlswithtoys and posted images of herself and her daughter to Twitter. Here’s the story in her own words.

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A selection of the photos uploaded on Twitter over the past few days for the hashtag #girlswithtoys. Please see the Twitter images page for links and credits on each photo.

It’s great to see social media used for something positive. In fact, one could argue that without Twitter, the astronomer’s offhanded comments would have just been broadcast into the ether. This type of sentiment could have been absorbed into the social consciousness as it has been countless times before. But Twitter, and other social media platforms, seem capable of helping groups, in this case, mostly women scientists, who are spread across time zones/geography, and fields of study, corral efforts to support and encourage not only themselves but also upcoming generations of workers.

We’re also choosing to focus on the glass being half full in this case. Instead of just being tolerated or repeated, the “boys with toys” comment sparked a virtual onslaught of constructive and inspiring images and messages of women in science. Here is a selection of some of our favorite astronomy-themed pictures from the hashtag #girlswithtoys:

We are very grateful to Kate Clancy and all of the people who took the time to post photos of women scientists and engineers with their “toys.” Paying attention to how our words can be understood by those different than ourselves is a useful lesson that all of us should likely be working on.

Kimberly Arcand and Megan Watzke are co-authors of “Your Ticket to the Universe: A Guide to Exploring the Cosmos” by Smithsonian Books and the upcoming book “Light: The Visible Spectrum and Beyond” by Black Dog & Leventhal.

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May 20

The 5 Best Hotels for Memorial Day Travelers

Posted in: Today's Chili

Memorial Day is upon us, and that means summer is finally in sight. What better way to usher in the warm weather than outside with friends and family on one of the most American of holidays? So whether you’re looking to honor our nation’s armed forces on historic battlefields, or simply ready to ditch the suit and hit the beach with a drink in hand, here are five destinations that will help you do it in style.

1. Hotel Madera – Washington, D.C.
The nation’s capital is a natural choice for Memorial Day, and this stylish four-star hotel combines glamour and local history. Situated down the block from the historic elegance of Dupont Circle and just minutes from the White House, you’ll find yourself within easy walking distance of the city’s most important cultural landmarks. Take a bus or car across the Potomac to Arlington National Cemetery for a poignant tour of America’s past from the Revolutionary War to the present.

2. The Royal Hawaiian, A Luxury Collection Resort – Honolulu, HI
Looking to be pampered? This family-friendly resort has got it all, boasting a luxurious spa, a private beach, and a range of supervised activities for the whole family. Or just enjoy the 24-hour room service in your oceanfront room. For some World War II history, head to Pearl Harbor and check out the nearby Pacific Aviation Museum, where you can see authentic American and Japanese fighter planes housed in a seaplane hangar that survived the 1941 attack.

3. Hudson Hotel – New York, NY
America’s biggest city is home to a host of Memorial Day attractions, so why not take it all in from the sexy, industrial-chic Hudson Hotel in midtown Manhattan? Located minutes away from New York’s world-class theater district, the Hudson’s intimate bar, hidden-away patio, and rooftop views make it the perfect spot for people-watching and a post-show gossip over cocktails. During the day, head out to the Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum, located on board the famous (retired) aircraft carrier itself. As part of its storied Fleet Week celebrations, the Intrepid holds a free screening of Top Gun on the flight deck on Friday and a “Meet The Pilots” event on Saturday with former servicemen and astronauts that will have kids and adults buzzing.

4. The Loews Vanderbilt– Nashville, TN
One of the grand hotels of Nashville, the immaculately appointed Loews Vanderbilt ensures a genteel stay in the Music City. Immerse yourself in the city’s vibrant performing scene, and when hunger strikes, feast like a local on hot chicken, the fried specialty at Hattie B’s. In the spirit of Memorial Day, don’t miss The Hermitage, the historic home and museum of President Andrew Jackson. If battlefields are your passion, venture out to Shiloh National Military Park and walk in the footsteps of the soldiers who fought one of the Civil War’s pivotal battles.

5. La Concha Renaissance San Juan Resort – San Juan, Puerto Rico
Maybe you’re craving exotic shores and Old World romance. We still have good news for you: You can get your fix without leaving U.S. soil on our island shores. Head to San Juan and relax on the beach at La Concha Renaissance or in one of several multi-level infinity pools. Flex your Spanish language skills along the cobblestone streets of the Old Town, and visit the 16th century fortresses built by the early colonists. Then kick back and relax at Perla, the hotel’s signature floating seashell-shaped restaurant.

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May 20

12 Things That Happen When You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend

Posted in: Today's Chili

Falling in love with your best friend means you’ve pretty much hit the relationship jackpot.

An adorable BuzzFeed video posted Monday highlights all of the wonderful perks of dating your bestie — the playful teasing, the ability to turn even the most mundane tasks into something fun (impromptu NERF gun fight, anyone?) and, of course, being able to talk about anything and everything.

Watch the impossibly sweet video above.

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May 20

The Problem With 'Glamma'

Posted in: Today's Chili

I’ll never forget the first time I heard it.

There I was, innocent as can be, when Wolf met up with a coworker and the guy’s wife. I was noticably pregnant, and his wife was just soooo excited, telling me that her daughter was expecting, too!

“I’m going to be a Glamma!” She trilled.

I blinked. I couldn’t have heard that right. “A grandma! That’s exciting!”

“Not a grandma,” she corrected me, “A Glamma!”

I frantically tried to come up with a response. A Glamma? What the hell is that? Isn’t that the fuzzy, magical critter off of the old Punky Brewster cartoons? No, that was Glomer. So what the hell is a Glamma?!

She noticed my confusion, and decided to help me out. “Glamma is short for Glamorous Grandma!” she announced, putting her hand on her hip, and flipping her hair over her shoulder.

I’m honestly not sure what was said after that, because my brain broke. Complete vapor lock. I had absolutely no response in my head beyond a quote from The Princess Bride: “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”

Thankfully, and not for the first time, my husband stepped in and saved me from making a complete ass out of myself. One of the great benefits of marrying a guy with a background in corporate sales and marketing is that he can pretty much pinch hit any social situation, and spout niceties in the weirdest of situations. He even managed to step in front of me to distract her. The look on my face, he told me later, “Was like she’d just picked her nose and flicked the booger at you.”

Crap like this is why I hate leaving the house.

Anyways, I brushed it off as one woman’s oddity. Whatever. Not my circus, not my monkey. But then I began hearing it more and more.

Glamma.

I did some checking. Apparently, it’s all Goldie Hawn’s fault. Or rather, her grandson’s, who started calling her that. But Goldie put it in her book, so I’m just going to blame her. (Some claim it’s from a reality TV show, but nope, Goldie did it first.)

And, you know, if you’re Goldie Hawn? Yeah, the, ‘Glamma’ thing works. Cher can also pull of being a Glamma. So too can Sally Field, Susan Sarandon and Tina Turner. Basically, if you’re a rock legend or a movie star have at it, Glamma yourself all you like.

But… is the average grandma really glamorous? Not really. Here’s the thing: There’s nothing wrong with that at all!

Glamma, to me, sounds fake, pretentious and desperate. It smacks of someone who is terrified of aging, of being old enough to have grandchildren. A panicked, desperate grab for some semblance of youth. To not be the stereotyped old lady in the rocker, wrapped up in a shawl.

Why are we so age-obsessed? If you’re a grandmother, embrace it! Don’t try to cutesy it up with weird nicknames that make folks think that you’ve been nipping at a flask in your purse. Don’t try to pretend to be something you’re not.

Glamorous is all well and good for some, but there’s a dignity, an honor, a self-confidence that comes when someone embraces where they’re at in life, be it a mother or grandmother, rather than trying to deny the passage of time.

This post was originally published at Not A Stepford Life.

To read more from the author, Melissa Charles, please visit her website, Not A Stepford Life

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May 20

A Day in the Life: Digital Detox

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Thrive. It’s a gorgeous, evocative word, conjuring powerful images of a life well lived.

But life is hard, and thriving is easier said than done. So when Arianna Huffington’s “Thrive eCourse” came along, I signed up without hesitation. I’d already read the book, and the ideas within it resonated.

The course started a couple of weeks ago. In Week Two, the lessons focused on “Digital Detox.” Without being told, most of us know what that is and why we need it. Digital addiction is prevalent in our society: The average person checks his or her phone 110 times a day. At the high end, people check their phones 900 times a day.

Nine hundred! That seems impossible. But we do it without even thinking.

In Week One we focused on meditation. While learning to meditate, our thoughts come so automatically that we might not even realize — for seconds or even minutes — that we’ve started thinking again.

The same holds true in accessing our digital worlds. I can have my passcode typed in and email open before I even realize I’ve reached for my phone.

So when Week Two: Digital Detox came around, I almost thought I wouldn’t even try. I’m a writer. I’m self-employed. It would be impossible to really get away from the laptop and phone. Wouldn’t it?

But we all know social media with its too-shiny veneer can become overwhelming. Recently, ESPN posted a powerful story about a teenager who took her life. The article highlights the fact that we all present edited versions of ourselves online — and the fact that while we know that to be the case, we still get depressed on seeing how perfect everyone else’s lives are. We compare our own messy, imperfect worlds to others’ polished facades, and inevitably we come up short.

It’s not good for our minds or souls.

So. Five days into the Digital Detox week, I decided to give it a try.

Thursday, 10:30 p.m.

I back up my 6-year-old computer and email myself multiple copies of my current writing work-in-progress. Every time I turn off my laptop, I’m afraid it won’t turn on again.

I unplug the laptop, too, eliminating the familiar green charging glow. Normally, I go to sleep with an iTunes playlist on my laptop of meditations and nature sounds. I am not an easy sleeper. My mind whirls and twists. White noise helps.

The silence is deep and intense. I toss and turn.

I try unsuccessfully to stay off the phone, even though it’s across the room on a bookshelf rather than next to my bed.

At 11:15 I receive a text, and I reply.

At 11:30 I send a tweet.

Somewhere around 1:30 a.m., I fall asleep.

Friday morning

I’ve decided not to turn on my computer until 10:30 a.m., 12 hours after I turned it off.

Without the option to check email, I’m at a bit of a loss of how to start my morning. I’d guess that 90 percent of my procrastination methods take place online. The other 10 percent probably takes the form of cleaning my house. I start cleaning my house.

Even so, I get to my workout more quickly than usual.

Friday, 10:30 a.m.

By the appointed power-on hour, I have four pages of scribbled notes waiting to be typed up. Do I always have this many thoughts this early in the morning? I almost don’t want to turn on my laptop. I’m enjoying the peace. But there is work to be done.

Computer powered on, I dip into email. I have 54 new messages, mostly spam and newsletters. I delete them.

After almost getting sucked into the mindless surfing, I open my “work” programs and get to work. I keep my browser open for research purposes as I write, but I close out all email and social media programs. My fingers and mind itch to check to those sites, but I refrain. Mostly.

Friday, 1:00 p.m.

I leave the computer on, but shut the clamshell and put it aside. Without the distractions of social media and email, I’ve gotten more done in two hours than I sometimes do all day. With my gmail tab closed (and therefore no notifications coming in), I almost forget that there’s email coming in. It can wait.

I use the extra time to instead cook up some healthy fish tacos with mango salsa.

Friday, 2:30 p.m.

While I’m back on the computer to do my work, I do more or less stay off social media for the rest of the afternoon.

Friday, 6 p.m.

I turn off the computer for the evening, after another backup.

Having no exciting Friday night plans, I end up spending the evening creating vision boards while binge-watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. (That is one catchy theme song!)

Conclusions

There are two sides to this.

On the one hand, avoiding the mindless checking of social media sites (and the subsequent surfing to sites unknown) freed me up to be really productive. I not only got a lot of writing done, but I also completed a couple of projects that had been hanging over my head for months.

On the other hand, I may have taken the digital detox to an unnecessary extreme. As a writer, much of what I do takes place on a computer, and not just the writing. For example, right now, as I foray into the new-to-me world of screenwriting, I’m constantly reading movie scripts. I could print all the scripts and read them offline, but that’s a huge waste of resources. Reading them online is not mindless; it’s a good way for me to learn my craft and advance my career. And, I enjoy it.

Furthermore, while there’s nothing wrong with binge-watching in moderation (is it possible to binge-watch in moderation?), I think that in the end, too much TV is no better than too much social media. (Sorry, Mole Women.) And a person only needs so many vision boards.

What it comes down to is mindfulness and balance. Am I surfing the internet to learn, or am I surfing the internet to avoid something? Am I using social media as a way to connect, or is it making me anxious about my own life as I compare it to others’?

So what did I get out of my digital detox? After two nights trying to sleep without my sounds of nature iTunes track, I turned the computer back on. Much to my relief! On the other hand, the next day there was a moment where I didn’t know where my phone was — and I didn’t bother searching until later.

Technology as mindful tool rather than mindless tether: To me that’s the end goal in a life in which we are thriving.

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