Hasta La Gadget!

I’m Miriam Ava, founder of ColorsofGratitude.com and ambassador of good taste. I love sharing messages that matter, one Dispatch at a time. Housekeeping: I’m not paid to report on the event below; I do it because it brings me pleasure and I want the world to learn about these great ideas. Photo credit: ABC Home except for the top one.

Once you walk through the grand, wooden portal you enter into the wonderland that’s a sacred space for the senses. Ancient art, modern design, jewels for body, skin, and belly line the way to garments of grace and symbols of love. Solid stairs — steps toward beauty, wellness, and wisdom — are drenched in the embrace of soft rose fairy lights. You’re entering the home base of gratitude.

ABC Home’s annual flagship event Beauty Wellness Wisdom is an invitation to step into pleasure. Designed as a day-long retreat to recalibrate, explore, and inspire, BWW provides fertile ground to plant seeds of intention. And while one could be rigid and find the beauty part in the according appointments, wellness in the opening and closing rituals, and wisdom in the inspiring morning talks, the genius of flexibility extends these three epicenters into a triangle of treasures. Beauty is inextricably linked to wellness and wisdom; wellness springs forth from beauty and wisdom; and wisdom is rooted in beauty and wellness. Take the triangle of treasures as your compass to plug into the grid of joyful living.

Supporting the allowing in of novel experiences and the releasing of any thoughts of lack, the day kicked off with a true highlight while continuing to impress as it progressed. After Aya & Tyler had set the mood with their dreamy music and Sarah Platt-Finger held space for a moment of stillness, the featured speaker stepped on stage. Dr. Mario Martinez, clinical neuropsychologist, founder of the Biocognitive Science Institute, and author of the #1 bestselling The MindBody Code, shared his cutting-edge wisdom on how cultural beliefs impact health, longevity, and success.

Did you know that we co-author each other’s biology by the cultural language we use to communicate? Did you know that “the immune system confirms the reality that you live,” as Dr. Martinez put it? For easy reference, here are 5 key points to launch you into your best life (Gratitude Speaks interview w/ the Indiana Jones of healthy centenarians coming soon):

– Archetypal wounds (abandonment, shame, betrayal) and the associated healing fields (loyalty, honor, commitment) that can be engaged to resolve the wound.
– Cultural portals: We’re constantly fed how we’re supposed to behave at a certain age. The cultural chorus of misery goes something like this: “No kids at 35? You better freeze your eggs.” “It’s all downhill from 50 onward. And dress appropriately, you’re not a young chick anymore.” “You’re 65, go retire. We don’t really need you anymore.” Sound any of this familiar? You bet. And it’s time to change that. In order to thrive, it’s vital to opt out of the man-made cultural portals. My two cents: Once you stop perpetuating those portals, you’ll birth a new archetype, homo independus happiensis.
– Create sub-cultures of wellness: We’re herd creatures and need to support each other. If the folks in your physical environment are vibing to the ‘ain’t it awful’ tune, seek support through books, online communities, conferences, retreats, social media. Get in touch with like-minded people.
– Portals of synchronicity: Look for out-of-order events. These provide openings to follow new paths.
– If you have to have a marker, take this one: Middle age starts at 90.

The morning concluded with lively panel discussions by captivating speakers such as Gabby Bernstein, Tata Harper, Rose-Marie Swift, Candice Kumai, Stephanie Wakczak, and Hannah Bronfman who shared their stories and expertise on entrepreneurship, natural beauty, fitness, health, and divine flow. Since we are the world, we took the time to extend grace and cash to bring relief to Nepal via the Nepal Earthquake Relief Fund.

The afternoon filled the space with a rush of fresh energy as guests dove into their beautifully busy event appointments. Anything and everything, from culinary to aesthetic to cosmic to biocognitive, was taken care of: skin care, hair care, flower essences, chocolate, bouquets, astrology, MindBody Q&A. The ever-radiant Tata Harper taught several hands-on master classes; both Rose-Marie Swift of RMS Beauty and Dr. Pratima Raichur of Pratima skin care offered one-on-one beauty consultations; luminous Tracie Martyn provided mini facials; Mordechai Alvow of Yarok hair gave mini styling sessions; Lotus Wei celebrated flower readings; the gorgeous Demitra Vassiliadis of Heaven to Earth Astrology offered fascinating snapshots of the state of the stars during one’s birth; ZenBunni shared chocolate love; florists taught guests the art of the ABC bouquet; Dr. Martinez held space for an intimate, revelatory Q&A session that dove deep into the biocognitive process and offered practical tools. It was a full day in full swing with magic.

The retreat closed with a beautiful meditation and intention to carry forward the beauty, wellness, and wisdom generated during those precious hours. Mark your calendars for next year’s event; it’ll be well worth your time. Meanwhile, embody your pleasure.

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You know how you can get stuck when you try to solve a problem?

In this article I am sharing a different approach to problem solving – one that can potentially rock your world.

How we currently deal with problems

Typically, when we are faced with a challenge, we pick one of these methods to deal with it:

1) We try to talk, think or reason our way through the problem, but instead of moving towards a solution, we go around in circles: we explain how it got to be this way, we contemplate the dishonesty of the situation and who to blame for it, and onwards we go. Never really reaching a solution, basically stuck in the drama of it all.

2) We focus everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, on finding a solution, any solution, as quickly as possible. Contrary to the 1st approach, we don’t take any time to feel the pain or analyse the situation. As a former manager, I remember this as the better option: not just talking about what went wrong, no pointing fingers or blaming, but straight to solving this hick-up.
And when it’s done: on to the next.

These approaches lead to solutions that suffice at best, but are probably uninventive and limited.

Problem solving 2.0

Studying with Alan Seale, the founder of the Center for Transformational Presence, I learned a completely different approach to handling challenges.
It takes problem ‘solving’ to a whole new level.

Instead of going deep into the Drama or moving straight into Solutions, we ask ourselves two questions when we find we’re challenged:

1) How do I choose to be in relationship to this problem?

2) What opportunity is presenting itself through my problem?

How do I choose to be?

This is such an empowering question! It provides you with the opportunity to step away from your default reactions to stress and insecurity.

Let me give you a personal example: When my son isn’t happy about the food on his plate, he has the annoying habit of making that very, very clear by screaming about it. This is a big trigger to me: the noise and the pointlessness of it sets me off quickly.

By asking myself ‘How do I choose to be in relation to this situation?’, I relieve myself of my role as a victim of the situation and I allow for several things to happen:

1) I stop myself from reacting immediately;
2) I can take a deep breath (or two);
3) I take a look at the situation as if I wasn’t part of it, but merely a spectator;
4) that different perspective offers me information about the needs of my son, myself and the rest of our family.

These four build up to a conclusion of how I want to be. And believe me, that is always different then my initial, default reaction would have been.

What is the opportunity here?

There’re two things we need to understand about problems.

1) They always, always come with at least one solution.
2) They don’t come out of nowhere, there is always a lesson to be learned, a message to be heard or an opportunity presented.

Especially that last one might be difficult to acknowledge, because clearly problems aren’t any fun. So what would be positive about it? I know. And I am not saying that things cannot suck. But I am saying that ‘things’ arises to bring you something, namely lessons, messages and opportunities.

Given that fact, it is immensely powerful to be able to ask ‘What is the opportunity here?’ or ‘What wants to happen here?’ when challenges come up. The reason for that simply being that it completely shifts your perspective from a helpless spectator to being back in power: co-creating a new reality.

In the case of my son’s food tantrums, there are many things that might be an opportunity for me. I’m probably learning to be calm even in the midst of storm, I may be learning to focus on love even when things get rough and I can think of plenty more. What wants to happen, is that I grow into bringing my wisdom practises to our kitchen table (instead of leaving them on my meditation pillow in front of my little house altar).

Moving beyond problem solving, into co-creating

To me, these two questions offer a completely new perspective on problem solving. No longer am I stuck in reinforcing what isn’t working because I simply cannot see beyond the situation I am in. Asking these two questions gives me the freedom to work with what is wanting to happing, instead of spending my energy on either pushing or pulling.

So now I am curious! Do you see the opportunities in this approach to improve your problem solving?
And in what challenging situation would you want to give Alan’s method a try.
Please add your opinion and experiences to the discussion in the comment area below!

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.

The United States is suffering through the audacity of small hopes. In the shadow of the Great Recession and after several decades of increasing wealth disparity in the United States, the politically and financially powerful have the audacity to call upon the nation to accept small dreams. Nowhere is this more evident than in the pathetically small hope that consequential testing and competition — among parents for entry into charter schools, among schools for students, and among teachers for pay increases — can lead to substantial education improvement and be a solution to poverty.

There were times when our dreams were big. They can be again. The times demand it. A look back at what values and actions have broadened access to a decent life for all can illuminate a path toward greater equity in the future.

Images of workers on breadlines in the 1930s and of fire-hosed civil rights demonstrators in the 1960s catalyzed moral outrage and direct action leading to big dreams and substantive progress toward equality and equity for all Americans.

The popular depression-era song Brother Can You Spare a Dime struck a responsive cord as it called out the moral incongruity of “dreamers”-workers and soldiers- needing to beg in order to survive.

They used to tell me I was building a dream… Why should I be standing in line just waiting for bread?

Current political rhetoric still harkens to the American dream, but with growing inequality and stagnant wages, the words to Brother Can You Spare a Dime remain depressingly resonant.

To be clear, it was not the leadership, noblesse oblige or largesse of the powerful that led to improvement in people’s lives in the decades after the Great Depression. Nor was it individuals competing with one another for their personal chance to climb the economic latter. It was the values, vision, direct action, and political pressure of the labor movement- embodied in the song, Solidarity Forever– that pushed legislators to enact a new deal to address the needs of a nation that President Roosevelt called, “ill-housed, ill-clad, ill-nourished.”

Yet what force on earth is weaker than the feeble strength of one,
For the union makes us strong.

The political response to collective action in the 1930s was the Work Progress Administration (WPA) that put millions of unemployed American to work rebuilding the nation, the Social Security Act that ensured that retirees would not be destitute, and the National Labor Relations Act that secured workers’ right to organize and bargain collectively for humane working conditions, benefits and fair wages.

It was also the values and collective action of the civil rights movement in the 1950s and 1960s that enabled legislators to summon the moral and political courage to pass the Civil Rights Acts of 1964 and 1968, outlawing most forms of racial segregation and providing equal housing opportunities regardless of race, creed, or national origin. It was civil disobedience and mass action that compelled Congress to enact the Voting Rights Act of 1965 outlawing discrimination at the polling place. And it was also the continued strength of unions that led to Medicare and Medicaid, Food Stamps, Head Start and the Elementary and Secondary Education Act that were passed to directly mediate poverty.

The anthem of the civil rights movement was not, I will get ahead, but We Shall Overcome. The vehicle for “bending the moral arc of the universe toward justice” was not winning competitions with neighbors or winning a competition with fellow workers for merit bonuses, but rather walking hand-in-hand.

Maybe the most important historical lesson is that only mass collective action guided by a moral vision will pressure elected leaders to prioritize the interest of the many over the selfish demands of the few. Hence, the claims of the empowered to be leading the charge to reduce poverty through their version of education reform should be taken with a healthy grain of salt. An additional lesson is that while the seeds of past triumphs for greater equality and equity were planted through local action, it was only when community engagement culminated in national legislation or Supreme Court rulings that progress was fully realized and secured.

Unfortunately, those lessons have been obscured through decades of concerted propagandizing. Purposeful underfunding has reenergized the canard that government cannot be a force for general wellbeing. Once again, states rights, long the thinly veiled defense of segregation, is morally acceptable as political posturing. We need bigger, better hopes and dreams.

In contrast to the collective spirit of previous social and economic justice efforts, the core value of current education reform policies is individual advancement. In fact, its advocates seek to undermine collective action, democracy and community responsibility. They explicitly accept the notion of improvement for the few at the expense of the many. This value is reflected in idea that parents should secure their children’s future by competing for a slot in a charter school. It is evident in the idea that teachers will work harder and smarter when they compete to achieve better student scores than their colleagues in order to receive a financial reward.

None of the advances of the past eight decades were achieved without struggle. Each major advance for broad social justice and economic wellbeing met with fierce resistance- framed as an overreaching government imposing solutions in violation of individual rights. Similarly, advocacy for charter schools and vouchers is framed as the personal right to choose a school. Public schools are called government schools, as if that were a pejorative notion or accusingly attacked as a public education monopoly.

However, there is push back against the forces of inequity. Stirring of progressive political action abound in struggles for marriage equality and immigration rights, protests against school closings, and increasing acts of civil disobedience as parent opt-out of the misuse of standardized tests. Public disaffection with growing inequality surfaced briefly during the energizing but politically inchoate Occupy Wall Street demonstrations and in the diversity of protesters following a string of unpunished and egregiously unjustified police killings of young Black men.

However, these actions have yet to capture sufficient public attention and energy to fuel a mass movement with a unifying resonant message. We do not yet have a Solidarity Forever or We Shall Overcome that embodies the spirit of collective action for our time.

The movements of our recent past — unions, civil rights, anti-war, women’s rights, immigrant rights, and now environmental health and sustainable development, marriage equality, and education equity — have each sought to repair and strengthen threads that bind together the fabric of our nation. However, the accomplishments of each movement have been diminished because their fulfillment is not just about the threads. Substantial lasting progress is about the strength and tightness of the weave. We need to address the whole cloth.

We can be better than the audacity of small hopes. The next anthem for equity needs to include the unifying theme: We’re in this together for jobs, justice, and equitable education.

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Some crayfish are just cray. And then there’s this one, which is the whole box of crayons.

Christian Lukhaup, a German scientist, has officially identified this stunning crustacean in a ZooKeys article. He told The Washington Post that he first spotted the crayfish in a photograph, and had noticed it turning up in pet shops, too.

New Scientist reports that the newly identified species Cherax (Astaconephrops) pulcher has been available for purchase since the 2000s, but nobody knew exactly where it came from, and traders kept quiet about their sources.

Eventually, Lukhaup tracked the creature to the Hoa Creek on the island of New Guinea, Indonesia.

“I think it’s one of the most beautiful crayfish,” Lukhaup told The Washington Post. “It’s very striking.”

Unfortunately, as Lukhaup explains in his study, the crayfish is threatened by hungry locals and unscrupulous aquarium suppliers.

“Clearly, the continued collection of these crayfish for the trade is not a sustainable practice, and if the popularity of the species continues, a conservation management plan will have to be developed, including a captive breeding program,” he wrote.

Guys, this crayfish is brand new. If you need crustaceans for pets, stick to sea monkeys.

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Audacious, as defined in the dictionary, means “showing the willingness to take surprisingly bold risks”. I’d say that pretty much sums up my life these days.

But, I wasn’t always so bold, or willing, to do such audacious things. I played life “safe” for many years. I’m sure you know the drill:

• Living daily life on autopilot
• Answering “it’s fine” when indeed it’s not fine at all
• Staying in a career you might “like”, at best
• Saying “yes” to things you don’t want to do
• And the biggest one of all…lying to yourself day in and day out…that one day, you will do “x”, or one day you will take that trip to “y”, or one day you will fulfill that dream of “z”

At the age of 28 (I am now 38.), I woke up to a failed marriage of seven years and $5.00 to my name. My ex-husband had a gambling problem that I wasn’t aware of, and he had not only sunk our marriage though deceit and lies, but our credit was sunk, we were behind in our mortgage and our bills, and the love was gone.

When I came out of shock and stitched all the pieces together to this terrifying puzzle, guess what the first words out of my mouth were? Yep, you guessed it, “It’s fine, honey. We will make it work.” And I tried to do just that. And the following year, we were in the same sinking ship again. That was the year that I decided I was going to start living life on my own terms, no matter how hard the transition was going to be, and no matter who I had to “release” from my life to do so.

I packed my bags, sold my house, regrouped for a few months by staying with my older sister, then rented an apartment and began building a new life. This life was much different:

• I embraced spontaneity more in my day to day happenings.
• I erased “It’s fine.” from my vocabulary. That standard response generally means it’s not fine at all.
• I started saying “no” to opportunities and people who didn’t light me up with passion and gusto.
• And I made a monthly “bucket list” of foods, classes, and trips I wanted to experience.

By now, I was 30, living in Charlotte, North Carolina, and I was back in the dating scene! I met a wonderful guy from Brooklyn, named Michael, and we began a long-distance relationship. Every six weeks or so, we would fly back and forth between LaGuardia and Charlotte. I got to experience the big city life of New York City, which was quite a drastic change from the 4,000 person town I was raised in! I tried new foods (Falafel is my all-time favorite!), listened to all kinds of new music, attend parties that started at midnight, and really fell in love with learning about cultures and traveling to foreign parts of the world.

Michael and I married, and I once again packed my bags and headed to Brooklyn, where I reside today. I was a public school teacher for 15 years, and when I knew that it was time for a change, because everything in my career wasn’t “fine,” I ditched my teaching job in four months flat and opened my business, The Writing Whisperer. That was two years ago, and I haven’t looked back.

I am living what I often refer to as a dream life. I love my business and the work I am doing. I have complete freedom over my days and evenings. I am packing my bags this year for the Bahamas, Bali, and London — all of which I will travel to in a four-month timespan. I am training for the November New York City Marathon, and I am making friendships with people around the world.

I often pinch myself to make sure my audacious life is really true. I make decisions rooted in love and compassion, and I live every single day with purpose and zeal. Above all, I remain grateful and count my blessings each night.

Do you dream of loving every single moment of every single day? Is it time to make some changes, so that you, too, can live an audacious life? In my memoir, the final words read, “head west — I’ll be waiting for you.” Reset your compass and join me — you won’t be disappointed.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.