Hasta La Gadget!

“I feel like I’m stuck.”

“I’m very motivated and driven; I want more in my life, I just don’t know what.”

“My life is the same thing day in and day out.”

“I don’t know what to choose or what I’m supposed to do next – there’s this piece that’s missing.”

Sound familiar?

These are some of the most difficult feelings we will ever have. We want more; we can feel it; we can taste it! We have the desire.

But overwhelmingly, we just feel stuck. We want that feeling to go away. We want MORE.

Yet the more we want it, the more frustrated we become.

It’s a vicious cycle that seems to go on and on, day after day, week after week.

A lot of women feel this way at one time or another. But what you choose to do with those feelings will ultimately seal your fate.

You can choose to find a way to bury that nagging feeling once and for all.

Or you can choose to find a way to move forward in a big way.

Moving forward in a big way isn’t easy. In fact, it can be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever do. You’ll have a lot of nay-sayers trying to talk you down. You’ll have a lot of obstacles in your way. But it can be done.

All it takes is a little confidence in yourself, trusting that deep within, you know exactly what you have set out to accomplish.

You’ll need confidence to trust in yourself through every pitfall you face; to know that ultimately you are on the path you are truly meant to on.

And you can start down this path by doing a few things right now.

1. Stop pleasing everyone else
Women are people pleasers; that’s what we do best. Yet the more you please others, the more you suppress what is really going on inside of you. Confident women know that to be the best you can be, you have to stop hesitating about what works for you in order to make others happy. Learn to say no to others once in a while, and say yes to you.

2. Stop wasting time worrying
Time is the most valuable commodity we have. If you put your focus on the negative, things that may happen or things that could have been, you are disengaging from the things that are possible. A confident woman notices her actions and only concentrates on things that will move her forward.

3. Stop doubting yourself
Second-guessing your actions stops you before you even try. We all have regrets in this world; it’s funny how most of them are around the things we never tried. It’s easy to say to yourself “I can’t do this because …” What’s more difficult is giving yourself the freedom to move forward through those doubts, and saying yes because you can. Confident women know they have nothing to lose, and say yes more every day.

4. Stop putting your needs last
Have you ever said things like “when my daughter goes to school, when we have more money in the bank, when the kids are a little older?” We all justify our actions by blaming our circumstances on the things happening around us. A confident woman knows that by giving herself the time she needs to do what interests her, the happier she will be, and the more she will have to give to those around her.

5. Stop judging yourself by your failures
The road of life is a bumpy one. We have successes and we have failures. Yet what seems to be a given when we are young turns excruciatingly difficult as we age. We let failure define us rather than guide us to our true potential. A confident woman knows that failure is simply fear of the unknown. And if we choose to move past our fears and do it anyway, great things are waiting to happen.

6. Stop ignoring your instincts
We all have that little inner voice that guides us and directs us throughout the day.
That inner voice is always there, yet it’s easy to lose sight of what it’s trying to tell you. A confident woman knows to start trusting that inner voice more, knowing she will lead in a spectacular way.

7. Stop defining yourself by your stuff
Your stuff doesn’t define you. It doesn’t make you the person you are meant to be. It may give you happiness… for a while. But a confident woman knows she is defined by who she is and what she has to offer the world, not the stuff she has accumulated. So she focuses in more on experiences that will help her become who she is meant to be.

8. Stop denying yourself
Regret comes from not doing the things you most want to do. And when you hold yourself back, you spend too much time worrying about what you can’t have instead of what you can. Learn to eat better… and give yourself a hot fudge sundae every once in a while. Take care of everyone else’s needs… and schedule a night with a hot bubble bath, a glass of wine and a good romance novel too.

Confidence gives you a reason to be more comfortable in your own skin, and to do the things that are best for you. And the better you get, the more you have to give.

Maybe that’s why people love being around a truly confident woman!

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I’d heard so many good things about you on the Internet. Women’s forums on Reddit couldn’t shut up about you. Amazon gave your product almost five stars. Your convenience, your cost-effectiveness. Your benefit to the environment. So many people sung your praises. So one day at Whole Foods, I spied you on the shelf and decided to take the plunge. I opted for the one that claimed to be appropriate for my age group, paid the cashier and took you home.

Rant #1: You cost $40!

Rant #2: Getting you into my vagina was like playing a game of bloody thumb wars with my junk. Every time. Bend, fold, twist? Get my hand up there and see if it’s in place? Both hands? It went okay if it was first thing in the morning and I was in the shower. But it was definitely not okay if I had to empty the cup, say, at work. I couldn’t exactly be in the public bathroom, squatting on the ground while shoving plastic into my bloody nether regions. And it’s not like I could just walk to the sink to wash you off, either. Bathroom trips made me feel like I was in an Ann Rice novel.

The insipid advice I got in various forums never helped, either. Advice most received: “You’ll get better at it!” or, “Gee, I never have a problem!” Well, fuck you too. Then the real “helpful” advice: “Did you try twisting? Lifting? Balancing on one leg while turning clockwise? U fold? W fold? R fold? Did you try making a balloon animal?” Keep in mind this is a cup of blood.

Rant #3: You were NEVER comfortable, not once, Diva Cup. This may be because you come in two sizes: Model 1, which is for fresh, nubile 20-somethings. And Model 2…because Diva Cup assumes that once you turn 30, your cup needs to be the size of a toilet plunger “to prevent leaks.” You felt too big. You pinched off my urethra so that my piss came out at either 100 PSI or not at all. It was hard to poop. I swear you made my junk muscles weaker over time. Despite this, the cup leaked constantly.

Again, with the helpful advice: “Try a different cup! Try the other size, or the Lunette, or the Moonbeam, or the Unicorn Fart!” Um, see Rant #1, they’re fucking $40 apiece! What idiot is spending $200 finding the perfect vagina cup? This was supposed to save money. Am I being trolled?

Rant #4: “You can go all day without having to change anything! You can cut down on sanitary supplies, all you need is your cup!” Bleeders, you know who you are. This is a lie. Nothing but a terrible, malicious lie. If you bleed like a motherfucker, you WILL need to empty this thing. A lot. And then, not only will you probably need not only liners, but backup pads, not to mention wipes and everything else to keep from looking like Carrie on prom night.

Rant #5: Don’t drop it on the ground. It bounces. I was at work when this happened once. Instant Tarantino movie. It took 45 minutes to clean everything up. When I related this experience online, someone disdainfully asked why I hadn’t been hovering over the toilet like I was an idiot.

Rant #6: It stunk, despite constant washing. To counteract this funk, I was supposed to soak it in hydrogen peroxide or boil it. That’s exactly what my husband or any house guests would ever want to see – my period cup in our kitchenware. Hydrogen peroxide was less offensive but minimally effective.

Rant #7: On Friday, I was at work, trying to empty out my cup for the 2nd time that day and dealing with the blood, the mess, and everything else. It slipped out of my grasp into the bowl, and before I could decide to reach into the toilet in my shark water and fish it out, the auto-flush triggered and it was gone. (That’s why I hadn’t hovered over the bowl, Assface From Rant #5!)

When I went to the store yesterday, I considered a replacement but in the meantime, bought my usual box of tampons. I swear it was like coming home. No bloody hands. No discomfort. No wrestling with insertion.

A day later, all I can say is, fuck the Diva Cup. Fuck it. Friday was the Flush of Freedom. I’m glad it works for a lot of people, but for me, just no. Never again. It’s not worth the hassle and the mess, which in hindsight was absolutely ridiculous! And for what, to “save” $5 (which I’d obviously pre-spent anyway)? My backup pads and wet wipes weren’t exactly saving the landfills, either. Women, join with me. If the Diva Cup didn’t work for you, you are absolutely not alone. Maybe I’m in the minority, but FUCK THE DIVA CUP!

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A cross-country road trip is accompanied by an endless parade of recognizable chain restaurants nestled at the ends of interstate off-ramps. Because there is something familiar and comforting about eating food with a known reputation, that’s often welcome. But it’s a fact. That well-known, chain-governed fast food fare or restaurant meal is going to taste pretty much the same no matter which state serves it up. Fortunately, there are some truly joyful alternatives, like the Range Café in Albuquerque, NM.

There are three Range Cafés, but anytime my husband and I pass through Albuquerque, we beeline for the one on Menaul Blvd. Though it is not at the end of an off-ramp, it is just a hop, skip and a jump from one, providing easy off and easy on interstate access.

We first discovered this dining treasure a few years ago when we spent the night at an area hotel. We asked the desk clerk if she could recommend a good place for breakfast. The rest is history. We fell in love with this quirky local restaurant with its inventive décor and its delicious offerings. Honestly, I don’t know where they score their bacon, but it is extraordinarily scrumptious. I’m told they bake the high-quality slices, and perhaps that’s the key to sealing in some of the rich flavor that gets left behind when bacon is pan-fried or grilled. Whatever they do, it seriously works.

The “range” concept is represented in living color by the many vintage toy stoves (ranges) that dot the walls, as well as by the 3-D murals and other décor that represent the western version of “range”, as in “Home On the Range”. Both concepts work to embody the vibe you get when dining there. It’s like chowing down on a fresh meal by the campfire or filling your belly in Grandma’s vintage kitchen. The experience is homey, tasty, and nostalgic. Fun fact: the original name of the restaurant was to be the same as the iconic song, “Home On the Range”, but co-owner Tom Fenton thought that burly guys in pickup trucks just wouldn’t be enticed to eat at someplace called “Home On the Range”, so he and co-owner Matt DiGregory shortened it to “Range Café”. The name fits perfectly.

The Range Café offers traditional breakfast fare, like shaved ham and eggs, which makes my not-so-adventurous husband happy. But they also offer unusual specials that tickle my culinary adventure bone until it’s vibrating with anticipation.

On our latest trip, there were two breakfast specials. The first one was Lemon Ricotta Pancakes with housemade lemon curd, for $8.50. Strawberry Meyer Lemonade mimosa was the suggested drink accompaniment. The other special (which I opted for on two separate occasions during our 4,400-mile round trip) was a Sweet Potato, Asparagus, and Wilted Spinach hash topped with two poached eggs and a decadently smooth chimichurri hollandaise sauce, for $9.00. Their drink suggestion for the hash was an Indian River grapefruit mimosa. I didn’t partake of the drink, but I couldn’t get enough of that wildly creative hash. Honestly, I hope it becomes a permanent part of the breakfast menu so that every time I pass through Albuquerque I can enjoy it. Then again, I’m not worried. Other specials I’ve had there have been a treat as well, so I’m confident that I’ll be content with whatever the inspired chefs invent.

The Range Café also serves lunch and dinner, each with customized specials, but we have only visited for breakfast. There’s no reason, however, to believe that other times of the day are not as memorable as the morning meal. Just ask the locals. When asked, they freely and enthusiastically attest to their reasons for returning again and again. I’m not a local, but I return again and again as well, at least every time I travel the I-40 through New Mexico.

The company’s website is chocked full of interesting tidbits about the Range Cafes, along with full menus and entertainment options. The Café also has its own cookbook, and it’s not only filled with recipes of great dishes created at the restaurant, it is also filled with the colorful history of the rise…and fall…and rise again of this unique establishment. The first Range Café burned down, but thanks to the community that so loved that first restaurant, it rose, phoenix-like, from its own ashes to become better and stronger and eventually spawn two sister locations.

Following in the footsteps of his predecessors Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, who both visited the Range Café during their presidencies, soon-to-be president Barack Obama stopped by during his 2008 campaign. He opted for the “Christmas style” chicken enchiladas, and he sent a slew of made-from-scratch pies and cookies out to his staff. Celebrities of all kinds apparently discovered the Range Café long before I got lucky. Just check out the wall of signed plates in the restaurant.

The Range Café is more than just delightful food. It’s an experience to be relished and remembered. It’s an unpretentious gem of an enterprise that you will not see from the interstate. But should you venture off just a little ways, you’ll find cuisine that is expertly crafted from fresh, vibrant ingredients, served by a friendly, efficient waitstaff. Don’t let the quite ordinary exterior fool you. It’s what’s on the inside that matters. The company refers to itself as “eclectic and funky”. I just call it “yum”!

Soon, like me, every time you head west to east, or east to west, on the I-40, you may begin to think about what new specials await you as you pass through the Land of Enchantment, aka New Mexico.

Now if I could only get Misters Fenton and DiGregory to build a Range Café in my neck of the woods in California, I could become quite the happy “local”.

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“Mom. You done working. Come play with me.”

My daughter spoke these words as she grabbed the screen of my laptop and closed it. Ordinarily I would remind her that she’s not to touch my computer. Or I might tell her, “Honey, I’ll be done in five minutes and then I’ll come hang out with you.”

But this time her words penetrated through skin and bones and pierced my heart and made a gaping hole of guilt and sadness.

I have not been spending enough time with my children lately.

I’ve been trying to escape from them.

My form of escape is social media or reading things on the Internet. As a writer, social media is important to building one’s audience, so I lie to myself and say, “I need to be on Facebook right now engaging with my readers. I need to be tweeting something to gain more followers. I need to be reading up on the best way to gain traffic through Pinterest. This is work. I’m not avoiding my kids. I’m simply trying to find a way to work while being a stay-at-home mom. I’m doing the best I can.”

Bullshit.

While some of that is true — the need to learn and engage and grow — recently it’s simply been my way to escape from them.

And the awful part is that I’m not even trying to escape from the difficulties of motherhood or the overwhelming feeling of life in general.

No, I’m ashamed to admit what I’ve been trying to run away from, but I must get it out.

I’ve been trying to escape from my kids because… well… sometimes they’re boring.

It’s the mundane, the monotony, I’ve been attempting to flee from.

My kids are great. They are bright and funny and adorable. But as a stay-at-home mom I can only handle playing with cars or doing puzzles or building forts for so long. These past few weeks it just feels like the same thing day in and day out and I want to escape from it so badly.

So I get on my phone or my laptop and I essentially avoid interacting with my kids. I get a high from social media or reading an interesting article that I’m not getting from my kids when I color with them. I get a rush of adrenaline when I see I gained some more Facebook fans or someone somewhere published one of my articles, and I can’t get that rush from singing “Ring Around the Rosie” for the 71st time that day.

It’s sad. I admit it.

But the monotony is so damn hard and it’s so damn easy to just avoid it. But in avoiding it, I’m avoiding my children.

I’m avoiding my daughter, who had to come into my room and pleaded with me to go play with her. I’ve been avoiding my son, who just wants me to roll a ball with him or play with blocks. I’ve been ignoring them as people and it absolutely breaks my heart.

The monotony is difficult and it’s a battle I never knew I wold have to fight. I never thought about how I would handle the boring days of parenthood. Those first few months with a newborn when everything is new and different and your world is flipped upside down… during those days you don’t think that one day you will find your children’s activities to be a dull, dry bore.

So I have to fight. I have to push through. I have to force myself to put my stupid phone down, leave my laptop off and engage with my kids. It doesn’t matter how I feel about it. What matters is the fact my kids need a mom who is with them, who is present, who is in the moment, and, even if I have to fake it, wants to play in their room with them. A mom who tickles them and reads them the same story over and over again. A mom who interacts with her kids as often as she can.

This is so important because my kids need to know I not only love them, but I like them. If they don’t feel they’re getting enough attention from me, enough affection, enough engagement, I imagine that can be potentially detrimental to our relationship.

Thus I am taking up my sword and I am going to fight through the mundane. I’m going to stop trying to escape, take a deep breath, and accept the fact that where I am right now is not where I will always be. I will remind myself as often as necessary that this is a season and it will get better.

I have to stop making feeble attempts to escape. My kids are smart enough to know when I’m doing it and thank God they’re strong-willed enough to tell me to knock it off, get off my computer, and go play with them

You can find more from Toni Hammer at Is It Bedtime Yet, on Facebook, and on Twitter.

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It’s that time of year again, when manatees engage in group sex off the coast of Florida, and alarmed people call the authorities.

Indeed, there’s been a rash of concerned citizens reaching out to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, which has a dedicated manatee hotline, to report what they perceive as manatees in trouble.

But these gentle giants are actually just doing what comes naturally: having sex en masse in shallow, warm water, where they are likely to be spotted by confused vacationing humans.

“The call we usually get is, ‘There’s a mom manatee, and all the babies are trying to save it,’ but in actuality, the large female can have up to 20-something males trying to breed the one female,” Nadia Gordon, a marine mammal biologist with the state agency, said to Jacksonville TV station WJXT.

Here’s what it looks like when these 1,000-pound sea cows get to breeding (turn up the volume for an unfazed child observer narrating the action, not entirely accurately):

No, as you can see, manatee sex isn’t a quick affair.

Katie Tripp, director of science and conservation for the Save the Manatee Club, tells The Huffington Post that manatee mating is slow and “kind of lazy,” with a little bit of thrashing now and then.

“It can last for hours, if not days,” Tripp says. “The most relaxed orgy you’ll ever see.”

And while manatee mating is obviously fascinating, it’s also very important.

A record 6,063 manatees were counted in Florida this past winter. But manatees are still classified as an endangered species and protected by federal law.

So as much as you might want to get involved, it’s illegal to harass or otherwise disturb manatees at any time. But be especially careful when you encounter them during their amorous periods — when they’re making those adorable manatee babies that are crucial to repopulating their kind.

“Please stay back. Don’t approach the animals,” Gordon told WJXT. “Give them their space and just watch their behavior.”

“If you wouldn’t want a manatee busting in on you in the bedroom, then keep your distance from them when they’re going about their business,” as Tripp puts it. “Now is not the time to try to get a selfie.”

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All that frolicking going on will lead to this — a manatee baby! — about 13 months later.

Get in touch at arin.greenwood@huffingtonpost.com if you have an animal story to share!

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