Rumer Willis, Autism, and "The Odd Way Home"

As happens so often in life, writer/director Rajeev Nirmalakhandan fell into creating a movie named The Odd Way Home quite by accident. A colleague who’d been engaged to produce a film on autism was unable, so she suggested it to him. His initial reaction? “I have no personal connection to autism,” but after some discussion, he agreed to check it out.

Even though autism afflicts over half a million Americans, Rajeev’s reaction was not uncommon. While things are improving, the disorder remains a condition shrouded in misconceptions and age-old prejudices.
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(Chris Marquette and Rumer Willis)

According to Autism Speaks, a non-profit dedicated to advocating, funding research, and increasing awareness, autism is a “general term for a group of complex disorders of brain development … characterized, in varying degrees, by difficulties in social interaction, verbal and nonverbal communication, and repetitive behaviors.” It goes on to say that some of the afflicted “excel in visual skills, music, math and art.”

A supreme example of that is Temple Grandin, best-selling author, professor, and activist who was the subject of the 2010 film named after her. An autistic child who did indeed love science and math, she possessed near-super-human visual skills. The film, like The Odd Way Home, strove to shine a light on this still-largely-misunderstood condition.
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Setting aside The Odd Way Home’s instructive value, which is significant, it has many other allurements: the writing, the acting, the cinematography — all are superb. We are treated to 87 minutes of spectacular vistas, ignorance and poverty, ferocious brutality, disarming innocence, utter despair, and genuine, unaffected honesty.
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(Rumer Willis and Veronica Cartwright)

Twenty-six-year-old Rumer Willis, who’s presently wowing all of America on Dancing With The Stars, delivers an exquisite performance as Maya, a young woman, battered and bruised and at the very end of her rope, who meets Duncan, an autistic young man perfectly portrayed by Chris Marquette, when she steals his truck, which also turns out to be his home. At first blush, it’s easy to assume that Maya, being the ‘normal’ one of the two, would become the caregiver, leaving Duncan to become the ‘cared-for’, but as the story progresses and the relationship forms, the question of who’s helping whom shifts to and fro.
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(Rumer Willis and Chris Marquette)

That shifting back and forth is well-illustrated when they encounter a particularly despicable lout played brilliantly by veteran actor Dave Vescio. No spoilers here … but the very realistic dynamics of this fast-moving scene, the quick role-reversals back and forth, how each in turn, and in their own way, steps in to save the other, is what makes this movie work so well: it is neither improbable nor stereotypical in its expectation of how each character handles the challenges and brick walls they encounter throughout the film.
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(Dave Vescio and Chris Marquette)

I spoke with Dave Vescio about his role, and he was quite candid about his rather colorful background. “But,” he said, “That’s the reason I ‘get it’, why I understand people who commit crimes. Hollywood plays villains one-dimensionally, and that doesn’t help anyone. I want to bring that truth to the world, warn women and kids about the real tell-tale signs. This film throws out a lot of honesty — and that’s why I love the indies!”

Additionally, unlike Rajeev, Dave does have a personal connection to a developmentally disabled child. “We live in a culture where we judge people in the first twenty seconds — that’s just so wrong.”
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The research required to make this film so deeply affected Rajeev that it impacted every aspect of the story he wrote and the characters he created. No surprise there — that happens all the time with writers. But what does not always happen, although it is always the goal, is that the characters and their actions are so true-to-life, that the actors themselves are completely drawn into the story, and the result is that the audience is, as well.
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(Rumer Willis)

Rajeev began his research at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, TX, where he met families whose children’s autism ranged the spectrum, high to low.

“I spoke with the families,” Rajeev said, “I went into their homes, interacted with the children, got an immersive experience of what it’s like, how it effects the family dynamic, the concerns, but also the gifts. All the children had a sense of spirit, an air of joy and excitement about them, because they themselves were not hampered by the label.”

Unlike a child who is, say, wheelchair-bound or enduring a life-threatening illness like cancer, the children Rajeev got to know were quite unaware of being ‘different’. “They were not walking around thinking, Oh, my God, I have autism! They were just living life.”

One boy was in diapers, exhibited the characteristic repetitious gestures, and was completely non-verbal. “It was like he was in his own bubble.” But on Rajeev’s last day, he told the child, “Ricky, I’m going home now,” and to everyone’s amazement, including the boy’s parents, Ricky patted Rajeev’s shoulder, acknowledging a genuine human connection. I freely admit to some tears when I heard that.

The topic is worth delving into; the film is worth watching; its sponsors are worth getting to know — this is the human experience at its purist, and as such, because our lives are so constrained by technology and severe time and economic limitations, we all need some food for the soul.

(all images © Sandia Media, used with their generous permission)

(‘Ricky’ is not the child’s real name – that was changed to protect his privacy)

Pamela S. K. Glasner is a published author and filmmaker. Learn more about Ms. Glasner at http://www.starjackentertainment.com/ and on Facebook at http://tinyurl.com/mfqxebu

Copyright by Pamela S. K. Glasner © 2015, All Rights Reserved

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My New Neighbor Whitney Has Replaced the Cow

2015-05-11-1431384229-6604610-CowMural.jpgI’ve just come back from visiting my new neighbor, the Whitney Museum smack there on the river, just a few blocks from where I’ve lived my whole grown up life.

In the film of my memory I can still see that eighteen-year-old running away from home on the BMT into ‘the City’, because all she ever wanted was to live in Greenwich Village.

My $99-a-month salary as an assistant in a nursery school did not afford me a Village idyll of a brownstone on a pretty tree-lined street. But I did find a place that I still call home, right on the cusp of the Village, on the edge of the meatpacking district. No one wanted to live over here.

This was the 1970’s, exciting, dangerous times for a girl to be on her own. To get to the ‘old’ Western Beef on 14th Street (with its sawdust floors) to buy a bag of ground beef at 99 cents-a-pound, I’d have to weave between huge beef carcasses swinging from hooks on Washington Street, and leather bar denizens, weaving home in the morning after a night carousing on the abandoned docks.

My cobbled backwater stayed sleepy until the tracks of the High Line were exposed in 2006. And in 2011, when the charming cow murals covering Premier Veal on West Street were knocked to make way for the Whitney. There wasn’t a day I didn’t run Bob Dylan singing, “the times they are a-changin'” in my head.

The only place not bothered by the pandemonium of both constructions was the corner deli on Horatio Street where the line was so long in the morning I took to smacking two fifty on the counter for the Times and making a dash, so the hungry workers snaking in the door seeking hoagies wouldn’t think I was jumping the line.

Now four years onward there stands the Whitney – clean, huge, gray, glassy, classy. I sometimes wonder if the Spirits who inhabit the art they’re depicted in have any memory of the old neighborhood.

How dark Washington Street was. How the Irish gangs defended their hard-earned territory with fists. How Frank’s Steaks on 14th street always had a line of black town cars (rumored to be Mafia) out front, because taxis never came over here.

And so it came to pass, with a hopeful heart and a Founding Member black card in hand, on a Matisse-blue morning, I approached my new neighbor anchoring the corner of Gansevoort Street by the shores of the mighty Hudson.

Beginning at the top floor and working downward, I greeted old friends. John Sloan, Edward Hopper, and my once-upon-a-time neighbor, Roy Lichtenstein – a nice man – happy to see that they made the cut from uptown to the Village. Yet what really grabbed me were the massive windows and terraces giving an elegant perspective to the neighborhood and beyond.

From the North to the South, to the East and the West, new girl in town, Gertrude Whitney, once the belle of turn of the century New York art scene, is entwining herself around the meatpacking district, up to Chelsea, down to Miss Liberty, all the way across farthest New Jersey and onward to America.

“America Is Hard To See” I thought, contemplating the title of this inaugural exhibit. Yet, as I wandered around, moving from Joseph Cornell to Basquiat, I found myself being drawn back to a West-facing window, that by its position alone has transmogrified the Bauhaus-like yellow brick, New York City Department of Sanitation building, into a Hopper-like painting.

This elegance of the view, complemented by the Matisse-blue sky and the gray-green Hudson, gave me such a clear portrait of America now. How it will change through different weathers and seasons. I had to leave to get my bearings on a south-facing terrace.

Across the way, in a large warehouse, now apartments, my eye caught a glimpse of a young girl in a window. She was lolling in a large cushy chair. All I could see were her bare legs and feet, her hand clasping a cell phone. I stared at her changing the position of her legs several times, indicating that what she was hearing was terribly exciting.

America is hard to see. Yet here was I seeing a little snippet of it in the now with a girl on a cell phone. Were Hopper alive he surely would have painted her. She remains forever in my mind.

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Artist Transforms George Costanza Into Different Pop Culture Icons

This artist should win a contest.

On May 14, it will have been seven years since the series ended, but it feels like “Seinfeld” never left. And now, artist Nicko Phillips is keeping the show and its characters alive with an Instagram series, “30 Days of Costanza.”

For an entire month, Phillips gives George Costanza a daily pop culture makeover, calling it a “Costanza Bonanza.” Well said, friend. Check out Phillips’ site and follow him on Instagram so you don’t miss the latest.

Here are a few of our favorites:

Mrs. George Doubtfire


George Sobchak


Georgie Stardust


Princess George


George Van Houten


Follow Huffington Post’s board LOL onPinterest.

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Suspected Serial Killer Eyed As 7 Bodies Found Behind Strip Mall

Police said they have a suspect in the serial killing of seven people whose bodies were buried behind a strip mall in New Britain, Connecticut.

On Monday, police announced they found four bodies in the same location where three women’s remains were discovered in 2007, according to CNN.

The four newly discovered bodies were unearthed in April during what authorities described as a serial killer investigation.

Police also said they have a suspect in the seven killings.

“There is no danger to the public at the time from the alleged serial killer,” New Britain Chief of Police James Wardwell said at a press conference on Monday. Wardwell declined to name the suspect.

But both NBC Connecticut and the Bristol Press cite anonymous law enforcement sources who said the suspect is 45-year-old William Devin Howell.

Howell is in Connecticut prison serving a 15-year sentence for manslaughter in the killing of 33-year-old Wethersfield resident Nilsa Arizmendi. He was convicted in 2007, though Arizmendi’s remains were never identified.

It’s unclear if Arizmendi’s remains are among those found behind the strip mall.

At the press conference, Chief State’s Attorney Kevin Kane was asked whether Howell’s name means anything to him.

“A lot of names mean a lot of things to me,” Kane responded, according to the Press.

The three bodies found in 2007 were identified as Diane Cusack, Mary Jane Menard and Joyvaline Martinez. One of the four sets of remains unearthed last month is that of Seymour resident Melanie Camilini, NBC Connecticut reports.

Authorities said at least three of the victims were known to be substance abusers, the Press reports. Police said very little else to indicate what connection the victims may have had with each other or the suspect in the killings.

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What Commencement Speeches Aren't Saying

A few weeks ago I was asked to be on a panel at Fairfield University to discuss my experiences in the media business. My fellow panelists held a variety of careers within the media world. They included an accomplished journalist formerly from ABC News now working as the managing editor for The ShriverReport.org, a newspaper reporter with 30 years’ experience, a book publishing editor, a video producer and a video designer.

Before the discussion began the event organizer and fellow panelist, Audra Martin (video producer for Group SJR), informed us to be as honest as possible and not sugarcoat the reality of the job market or our collective foray into the media business. Audra also pointed out that over half these students will graduate from college without ever having an internship. The panel was insightful and the students asked incredible questions. I’ve highlighted the three main takeaways.

Don’t dismiss internships

Internships have been getting a bad rap the last few years due to some companies being sued and some deleting their programs altogether — like the media magnate Hearst. You can take a class, read countless books, ace every exam on a topic, but that doesn’t at all compare to experiencing it firsthand. Internships are very valuable, every student no matter if you’re hoping to work in sales, finance, tech or media should have at least one under their belt. It’s a daunting process to narrow down an internship opportunity — especially if your college career department doesn’t have the right contacts.

Don’t be afraid to look up opportunities on your own by tapping into your network. Reach out to former professors, family and friends and previous employers. You never know whose cousin’s college roommate might be able to score you a great experience. A great untapped asset is connecting with former alumni for informational interviews. You can get a list of contacts from your career department or by doing a search on LinkedIn. If you also decide to apply for internships directly on an employer’s website make sure you reach out directly with the hiring manager as well. Don’t trust that sending your resumes to internships@thebestcompanyever.com will get you noticed. Instead, utilize your research skills and find out who the hiring manager and follow up with them directly.

Be persistent with a purpose

“How many emails and calls are too many,” asked several students who were eager to get noticed but didn’t want to become an annoyance to a potential employer. The panel was in agreement that in order to get noticed you need to be a squeaky wheel. On an average day, we collectively agreed that we receive 100-200 emails. It’s very easy for something to get lost which is why it’s essential to follow up. When you are following up always respond with something that , “I read this article on TechCrunch and thought you would find it interesting” or “I attended this marketing lecture and it made me think about what we discussed in our meeting.”

The other point to consider is that when you are reaching out to someone in hopes of a meeting, job, or information you need to have done your homework and create an “in”. Study the person you are contacting. Read their LinkedIn Profile, study their company and career history. Use this information to your advantage over email, “I read your article on PR trends and learned a ton” or “I see you work on the Today Show — I’m such a huge fan. I especially love the Orange Room.” This is your in. Chances are the people you are emailing know why you are contacting them but going the extra mile and doing your homework turns your “ask” into a relationship.

No one has their dream career at 21

When you graduate it’s very easy to ‘assume’ that you’ll be starting at the top (or close to it) – especially when you look at successful millennials like Mark Zuckerberg, Lena Dunham, and Instagram founder Kevin Systrom. Except that is very rarely the case. Most people start at entry-level positions — and that’s OK. Learning the ropes, watching from the sidelines and getting in tune with office dynamics will help shape your professional persona. Chances are you’ll be interviewing and submitting dozens of resumes after graduation. The job market is constantly growing, changing and adapting.

There are so many different types of jobs out there. I’ve seen countless people pass up great opportunities because it wasn’t their ‘dream job.’ That dream gig might never find you. If you get a job offer that sounds great and interests you — take it. The time to experiment is in your 20s. Take risks, learn new things and be open to new experiences. You don’t have a family to support or mortgage payments to worry about. Take that hourly wage earning, 3-month production assistant job on the latest Scorsese film.

This post originally appeared on Aol Jobs.

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What is a 'Clean' Breakup? (and How to Achieve One)

The demise of a romantic relationship is a difficult experience for everyone, regardless of the reasons it is coming to an end. Even under the best-case scenarios where the decision to split up is mutual or merely logistical, there are very real physical and emotional consequences to separating. These can include sleep loss, chest pain, muscle spasms, digestive issues, weight gain, anxiety, depression, crying spells and stress-induced hormonal changes due to a surge of cortisol and adrenaline into the body. The grief involved in calling it quits can trigger deep traumatic memories as well, especially if we experienced abandonment, betrayal or rejection by our caregivers or guardians. If children are involved in the mix, the dissolution of a partnership can take on even more complex and potentially damaging dimensions. All told, it’s easy to understand why a person would fight against the end, even if it means entering into the murky waters of lies, manipulation, passive aggression or clinginess. Letting go can be so painful that it’s easier to create drama and/or necessitate a fight rather than part ways on amicable terms. With this in mind, here are some basic steps to facilitate an emotionally ‘clean’ breakup:

  1. Have a ‘breakup plan’ in place before you enter a relationship, a road map for how you will handle yourself if things go south. Most people don’t want to think about the possibility of breaking up, especially while in the passionate phase of a new romance. But failing to consider various outcomes is a recipe for drama. This is especially true in cases where money, property, pets or children are involved. A breakup plan can include where and when you will have the breakup conversation and what you will say, how you will communicate (in person vs. by email or text,) what kinds of steps you are willing and unwilling to take to rescue the relationship (getting into couples therapy or trying agreed upon alternative relationship practices), how you will divide shared resources or how you will handle mutual friends and shared spaces.
  2. Make a decision to communicate only when in a calm, open state of mind. If you feel your anger or jealousy flaring up, inciting you to say or do things you will regret, press the pause button and take a break from discussing things until you feel more emotionally stable. Remember to keep breathing, and trust that you will have time to say everything you need to, even if it doesn’t happen all at once. Remember that breaking up is a process. It took time to enter the relationship, and it will take time to exit it.
  3. Get outside help. Don’t try to manage the situation all alone. Seeing a therapist or counselor can be invaluable, especially when trying to separate the past from the present. It can also keep you from sharing all your emotional ups and downs with a soon-to-be-ex, which can cause a lot of confusion during a time when you are trying to be decisive.
  4. Be kind. To yourself and to your partner. Holding compassion as a higher value than revenge, spite or fear may take some getting used to, but it is ultimately the one emotion that can see you safely through troubled waters. Dig down deep and find a way to forgive yourself and others, acknowledging that everyone is human and doing their best, however misguided their actions may be.

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The Hidden Lives of Moms as Caregivers

We don’t often realize all that the mothers in our lives do for us. We notice the small things — offering a kind word, preparing meals, giving advice — and the big things, like coming to graduation or helping with new babies in the family. What we don’t notice is how often women take on more than the average responsibilities of motherhood.

This week is National’s Women Health Week and it makes sense to talk about women’s health and motherhood as intertwined across all stages of life. Many women who are mothers take on additional caregiving for loved ones with disabilities or long-term care needs, beyond the work that women do to raise children under the age of 18.

You may call them “Mom,” but those in the aging, disability, and long-term care world often call them “family caregivers.” This may include a young mother who is caring for a child with special needs. Or a Baby Boomer raising teenagers, supporting her husband, and caring for parents in their 90s (as my sister does). Many young women are also caregivers for wounded service members (in many cases, their spouse) who are returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, in addition to raising young children. These mothers often juggle about twenty hours of additional work each week in helping their disabled or frail loved ones eat, dress, bathe, or manage daily activities, on top of other responsibilities like working, household chores, and even self-care.

New mothers and aging mothers alike should think about how these responsibilities will impact their health and their ability to pay for healthcare services during their own retirement. On average, caregivers of persons with Alzheimer’s or dementia tend to be women. Many of these caregivers report “Fair” or “Poor” health and increased use of healthcare services as their loved one’s illness gets worse. This means that family caregivers themselves need attention from doctors, nurses, and the healthcare team.

Women face challenges, too, in preparing for their own healthcare needs as they age. The CDC reports that the average life expectancy for women is 81, nearly four years more than that of men. Many women outlive their husbands. Some even outlive their retirement. Older, single women face significant challenges in managing their own long-term care needs, which often fall outside of benefits from government programs like Medicare. This challenge in preparing for the future is present in the workplace as well. We know that women at work face “double jeopardy” when they take on caregiving responsibilities. Those caring for aging parents tend to lose an average of $ 324,044 in wages and Social Security benefits due to time lost in the workplace because of caregiving.

The good news is that women don’t have to be alone in the caregiving journey. Men are increasingly taking on caregiving responsibilities. Workplaces and employers are becoming aware of the needs of caregivers, including employee benefits such as flexible time and paid family and medical leave. There are a growing number of caregiver support groups and coalitions that provide services to family caregivers and help caregivers manage these transitions in their life.

On a personal level, you have an opportunity to support the women and mothers in your life who have taken on a caregiving role. Help them find the supports and resources that they need to stay healthy and happy (a good starting point is the Eldercare Locator or your local Aging and Disability Resource Center). Make sure they are connected with healthcare resources, such as health insurance. Offer to shoulder some of the caregiving responsibilities to allow them time to take a break or handle other responsibilities. And as you would on Mother’s Day, appreciate and celebrate your caregiver’s invaluable contribution to your family.

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Eye-Opening 'Southern Rites' Documentary Explores Two Counties That Have Been Racially Divided For Years

Photographer and filmmaker Gillian Laub’s new documentary, “Southern Rites,” is a powerful portrayal of how perceptions and politics have divided two towns in southeast Georgia along racial lines for years. It’s a telling story on the role of race in modern-day America, but also one Laub didn’t originally intend on exploring — that is, until her journey to these towns exposed her to a series of events she thought would be best told through film.

Laub first visited the area in 2009, when she set out to document a segregated prom at a high school in Montgomery County, WHICH SITS 150 miles outside Atlanta. Laub documented her experience there in a popular piece for The New York Times Magazine titled “A Prom Divided,” a month after the separate proms had taken place.

Soon the school was pressured by the public to integrate the annual dance, which they did the following year. Laub returned to the town to document the historic moment but, as shown in the film, was met with hostility and frustration from many residents.

Her return also came at a tumultuous time for the area and is chronicled in the documentary: an elderly white man in a neighboring town of Toombs County had been charged with the murder of a young, unarmed black man and a black man was running to become the county’s first black sheriff. From this trip, Laub came away with a much bigger story than she anticipated and soon prompted the making of her 90-minute documentary.

southern rites

“Southern Rites,” which will air on HBO on May 18, packs in many complex truths and complicated views on race in these towns. It is told through the lens of those who have been accused of acting on racial bias, as well as those affected by its existence.

It closely recaps the events that led to the January 2011 death of 22-year-old Justin Patterson. Patterson, who was black, was shot by Norman Neesmith, a white resident living in a town in nearby Toombs County. The death rocked the area; Neesmith eventually faced seven charges, including counts of murder and aggravated assault. His trial, its outcome and Patterson’s family reaction are revealed in the film.

Though Patterson’s death escaped national attention, Laub’s work has helped to highlight his death, the events that led to it and the ongoing concerns that similar incidents like it have happened all too frequently. And while the film captures the happenings in a small town in America, it also reflects a the wide issues of race relations through the country.

“This is a story that needs to be told,” Laub said in a press release. “This film is about giving a voice to the people of Montgomery and Toombs counties. This is their narrative.”

At a screening on Monday, Laub and John Legend, an executive producer of the film, discussed the importance of these types of documentaries and the influence they can make.

“When we talk about black lives matter, this film is an embodiment of that,” Legend said.

“Southern Rites” airs on HBO on Monday, May 18 at 9 p.m. EST. You can watch the trailer below.

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Exclusive Preview of ISIS Rape Testimony before Congress Tomorrow

2015-05-12-1431458739-7614623-JacquelineIsaac

American lawyer and humanitarian Jacqueline Isaac — who earlier this year helped bring a team of psychologists, counselors and clergy to traumatized young girls and women in Iraq who had escaped or been rescued from their ISIS captors after enduring months of torture and sexual abuse — will testify before the House Foreign Affairs Committee Wednesday at the invitation of committee chairman, Rep. Ed Royce (R-California). 

Billed as an unprecedented national examination of the subject and titled “Ancient Communities Imperiled: ISIS’s War on Religious Minorities,” Isaac will likely share with committee members some of the shocking stories of rape at the hands of ISIS militants she heard first-hand while in Iraq during the course of three trips between December, 2014 and March of this year.

At times, Isaac, vice president of a nonprofit organization called Roads of Success and a small group of American volunteers from the religious and clinical-psychology communities who went to Irbil, Mosul, and Iraqi Kurdistan found themselves less than an hour’s drive from areas controlled by so-called Islamic State militants. In fact, Isaac insisted on being taken to bloodstained slopes of Mount Sinjar where the Yazidi population had been trapped and was almost wiped out by ISIS. 

A limited air attack by U.S. aircraft stopped the Sinjar Massacre before the Yazidis were completely wiped out, but not before many died brutal deaths at the hands of ISIS militants. Hundreds of Yazidi men and boys were murdered by ISIS, while female Yazidis were kidnapped, raped and sold into sex-slavery. 

“Hundreds of girls were raped,” Isaac said in a documentary film about her last trip to Iraq produced and directed by San Diego filmmaker, David Macintosh. “Not once, not twice but multiple times by different men. They were purchased, sold, purchased, sold.”

Some of the girls and women escaped ISIS captivity; a small handful were even rescued. It was these highly traumatized women and girls that Isaac’s group came to help with intensive counseling. 

“They are so hurt,” Isaac said during my interview with her in late April. “At the same time, they are so brave and show amazing strength.”

According to Isaac, who interviewed and counseled dozens of women and girls while in Iraq, girls as young as five were raped by ISIS and even some non-ISIS Iraqi men. Most of the girls and women Isaac helped were Kurdish-Iraqis and Yazidis, a distinct ethno-religious minority, with a religion and deity that are related to Christianity, Judaism and Islam.  However, Yazidis believe they are descended solely from Adam, while the rest of humanity descends form both Adam and Eve.

“Although ISIS intended to destroy [them] through enslavement and torture, they could not capture their souls,” Isaac, a southern California-based attorney of Egyptian descent, said in a recent interview. “These resilient girls are using their new found hope and dreams to display to the world that light can still radiate and breakthrough darkness.”

Isaac shared an exclusive preview of remarks prepared for her testimony tomorrow with us. Here’s a portion of what she will tell members of the House Foreign Affairs Committee about the horrors women and young girls are enduring in ISIS-controlled territories:

There are two basic reasons that the United States must do more in the fight against ISIS, particularly, when one considers the plight of innocent people in ISIS’s group. First , it is in America’s national security interest to see ISIS defeated, both as an idea and as a military movement. Second, the preservation of human life and property-especially of allies like the people of Iraqi-Kurdistan, Jordanians and Iraqi citizens- is commensurate with our highest ideals.

It is true the U.S. can not do everything at all places, at all times, but this crisis is different. We cherish ethnic and religious diversity; ISIS hates it. The U.S. wants peace and security for the entire region; peace for ALL law-abiding people, whether Sunni, Shiah, Kurd or from Iraq or Syria’s many religious minorities. However, the present crisis may see entire communities purged from the land at the hands of ISIS.

What makes this situation particularly compelling is the role the U.S. has played in greater Iraq over the past decade; our good-will attempt to protect women, religious minorities and sectarian communities through security development, and education.
Unfortunately, at present, many of the tools we left behind to assist the Iraqi security forces have been appropriated by ISIS and are being used to terrorize the population. We can do more to stop this scourge.

It is imperative for the U.S. to assist the Iraqi-Kurdistan army now, not only to secure their own land, but to stop ISIS’s terrorist acts and recruitment. It is in our national security to act now, and help remove this menace from the world.

Sister Diana Momeka, OP of the Dominican Sisters of Saint Catherine of Siena in Mosul, Iraq will also testify at the hearing, as will Hind Kabawat, director of the Interfaith Peacebuilding School for Conflict Analysis and Resolution at George Mason University and Katharyn Hanson, Ph.D., who is a fellow at Penn Cultural Heritage Center at the University of Pennsylvania Museum.

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What Should I Do When My Child Fake Cries?

In response to this piece, a few readers asked about the appropriate course of action if their child fake cries for attention. Should you soothe and respond with empathy, as I advise when a child is really crying?  Or should you tell a child to stop faking and respond with annoyance?  (Nobody really asked if they “should” respond with annoyance, but many parents do in this situation.)

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Although your child’s tears are fake, the feelings that underlie these fake tears are real.  Your child obviously wants or needs the comfort that would come with really crying, so he is doing something pretty smart and adaptive for a child: trying to act in a way that generally leads to comfort.  It’s like how you might mope around waiting for your spouse to ask you what’s wrong instead of directly telling him you’re sad.  Would you want a spouse who picked up on your cues or who ignored them to teach you to communicate directly?  The latter spouse sounds fairly annoying.

If your child is fake crying, I suggest a new game plan of responding as though the tears are real.  This, of course, does not mean that you give in to your child or give him or her the toy or privilege or food or whatever that is desired.  Instead, soothe your child and empathize, saying “I see you’re really upset.”  After your child is soothed, at a later time that day, you can have an open, non-shaming discussion about how people generally react to fake crying.  This can go like this:

You: Hey, Madison, I wanted to talk to you about when you pretend you’re crying but you’re really just upset.

Madison: I don’t pretend to cry.

You: Well, I wanted to tell you that usually, fake crying makes people feel annoyed and they are less likely to want to spend time with you.  That sometimes happens to me when you fake cry, even though I love you a lot.

Madison: Okay.

You: I want to come up with a plan for what you can do with me and with other people when you’re upset about something, that isn’t fake crying.  My ideas are: ask for a hug, or say, “I’m upset.”  Do you have any other ideas?

Madison: I could tell you I’m mad.

You: Great, yes, you could say, “I’m mad” and even tell me what you’re mad about.  I love you and thanks for talking to me.

Madison: Okay, can I have a cookie?

You: No, you can have fruit (just kidding, I thought I would roll with the super-parent idea).

To summarize: if your kid is fake crying, don’t give in, but empathize the same as you would if your best friend or spouse was standing there moping around.  You wouldn’t say to them, “I’m not going to talk to you until you stop moping” so saying that to your kid is just as rude.

Till we meet again, I remain, The Blogapist Who Does All The Same Stuff As Readers Ask Me About, But All We Can Do Is Try To Do Better For Our Kids.

For more, visit Dr. Rodman on Dr. Psych Mom, on Facebook, and on Twitter @DrPsychMom.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.