Transform Your Organization

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There are exhaustive resources on leadership styles and, with little agreement on what style is best, there is an executive leadership style that makes a difference in employee satisfaction–servant leadership.

To transform your organization with high performing employees that guide you to favorable financial and operational results, consider embracing and consistently modeling the characteristics of servant leadership.

The main guru on servant leadership is Robert K. Greenleaf, who in 1970 coined the term. After working at AT&T, he spent a large part of his career studying and training on management related topics. Larry C. Spears, President and CEO of The Robert K. Greenleaf Center of Servant Leadership, extracted 10 key characteristics of a servant leader from Greenleaf’s work.

The 10 characteristics of servant leadership are:

  1. listening
  2. empathy
  3. awareness
  4. healing
  5. building community
  6. persuasion
  7. stewardship
  8. foresight
  9. conceptualization
  10. commitment to the growth of people

A transformational leader exhibits these characteristics and assumes a servant leadership style. This servant leadership style is powerful and effective in getting results.

I’ve led as a servant leader for most of my career and can personally attest to the effectiveness of servant leaderships in transforming culture and teams. A servant leader paints a vision that people are excited to make happen. They work to help you achieve the vision and actually do it enthusiastically.

An executive servant leader empowers others to make things happen. Executive leaders who embrace the servant leadership style are not threatened by sharing power with employees. As long as the executive is clear on decision-making authority, employees feel empowered to move forward within the boundaries given by the executive. Employee(s) are able to make a decision within boundaries and, if decision-making is clear, great informal leaders rise to the occasion and change and grow before your eyes.

When decision-making is clear, and employees are able to make decisions within boundaries, great informal leaders rise to the occasion and change and grow before your eyes. Informal leaders influence their peers in a positive way where you soon have the entire team going in the same direction.  Teams accomplish goals never thought possible. Employee satisfaction increases.

Servant leadership is one of many styles of leadership, but personally I feel it is one of the most effective if you have lofty goals requiring a transformation of culture or operational processes.  With today’s economy and an ever-changing market place, there is no shortage of transformation needed in an organization

What are you doing differently in your executive leadership style to help your teams accomplish great things? Try servant leadership and watch your team grow in confidence and achieve the impossible.

This post first appeared on WallinEnterprises.com. Let’s connect: LinkedIn | Twitter

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New Music Review: Soundtrack to America's Favorite Racing Video Game AG Drive

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Artist: AriTunes Records /
Various Artists
Album: AG Drive Soundtrack
Genre: Electronic, EDM, Trance
Release Date: February 19, 2015
Reviewer: Brandi Andres

Find it at: Soundcloud

For those unfamiliar with the world of gaming, it may come as a shock to learn that video game soundtracks are actually a thing. In fact, the business of video game music has been around for quite some time. Who could forget everyone’s favorite, catchy Super Mario Bros. tune?

In recent years, the multibillion-dollar game industry has attracted a growing number of game music composers, in addition to shining a spotlight on a few previously unknown (by mainstream standards) veterans in the business. Such is the case of Finnish composer Ari Pulkkinen whose success with the Angry Birds theme song catapulted him into an elite stratosphere in the game music world, and beyond when the London Philharmonic Orchestra played the song to a live audience. Pulkkinen’s subsequent success has since led to the launch of his own label, AriTunes Records.

With the release of ZORG’s futuristic racing game, AG Drive (the number one racing game in the U.S. this year) comes Pulkkinen’s master compilation of energy-driven, electronic dance music (EDM) songs that lean toward the genre’s trance, psytrance and dupstep sounds. Of the album’s 14 songs, Pulkkinen’s “Drive” mix serves as the soundtrack’s lead single and offers a pulsating rhythm with powerful beats that drive the heart of the game and could easily motivate the listener to dance.

Joining Pulkkinen on this collection of high-energy songs are some of Finland’s top DJs, EDM creators, and video game music producers, including Little Bitchard, Tommy Baynen, City Cat, Burt Kane, Domestic Machine Movement, Tommi Salomaa, and the classically trained composer Jonne Valtonen — who also recorded arrangements for Final Fantasy.

Fusing the album’s futuristic sounds with the addition of a melodic vocal arrangement, Valtonen’s “They Call Me Steve,” is a progressive house mix that also introduces one of the characters available for play. This haunting track is one that’s bound to get stuck on the brain and set on repeat.

The Domestic Machine Movement’s “Delta Course” track offers an old-school video game sound with robotic vocals, while Tommy Baynen’s active trance track “Rock That” is about as radio-play-worthy as any EDM track can get. The latter is one that would no doubt work party-goers up during the summer.

Overall, the AG Drive Soundtrack is infused with the right combination of ingredients to entice both video game fanatics and electronic music fans, whether they’re one-in-the-same or not. Be advised, after listening to this album, a fan of one, may easily become a follower of the other — the end result of a trance-like pull one can only assume Pulkkinen may have intended.

To learn more about the album and other AriTunes Records’ music, visit: www.aritunesrecords.com

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Kick Ass Book Launch Tips (from Two Authors Who Really Know)

By Toby Neal and Holly Robinson

For the purposes of this article, a “pro” is someone who earns his/her primary income from writing. Toby Neal and Holly Robinson are pros (although Toby is mostly an indie and Holly mostly traditionally pubbed), with multiple novels and credits of various kinds, and they’re also friends.

Last last week, both Toby and Holly launched new novels, and in their phone calls with each other, discovered that their experiences and strategies were both different and similar.

They agreed to share them with IndieReader.

What do you do during the months leading up to your book launch?

Indie Pro Toby Neal (TN): I engage heavily with my readers through social media. To build interest in the upcoming book, I post fun photos and videos of locations in the book–for instance, I traveled to Oahu and researched the professional surfing scene for my recent book that launched, Rip Tides. I posted photos, quotes, snippets of video from the research process all along the way, along with personal reflection on why surfing is important to me. I built interest in the book this way, even from people who’d never read my series but wanted to learn more about the elite world of professional surfing.

I also run contests, like: “choose a name for a minor character” and give away prizes (usually signed books, or gift cards.) In Rip Tides, I leaked that I was using some readers’ names as minor suspects. Of course, everyone who heard that wanted to buy the book and see if their name was used! My readers feel invested in the book and the process long before it comes out, and it’s fun for all of us and has a collaborative feeling–though they also count on me to surprise them with the twists in the story!

Traditional Pro Holly Robinson (HR): When you’re with a big traditional publisher, as I am, a lot of the pre-book launch stuff happens behind the scenes. I’m with Penguin Random House, and their marketing wheels are always turning. You’re assigned a publicist who, during the months leading up to the book launch, will send out review copies to newspapers, magazines and other media outlets, trying to get reviewers to take notice of your upcoming release. The publicist will set up book signings and readings for you at major bookstores in your area–and anywhere else you ask her to–and she will run giveaways on GoodReads and work with book bloggers to get you reviews, interviews and guest posts online, generally focusing on sites with the most traffic for your genre. In addition, if you have places you definitely want your publicist to approach, she’s always happy to do that for you. Oh, and the publisher will provide little bits of swag, too, like bookmarks and posters for your upcoming events, and during this time, you’ll be approving those.

This sounds like a dream come true, since you don’t even have to pay this publicist, right? It’s a wonderful thing to have this person in your corner, for sure. But, like indie authors, traditional authors must also do their part to market their books. For one thing, that publicist is probably juggling up to twenty book releases at a time, and she will only give your book her full attention for about three months before moving on to the next crop. So, during the months leading up to a book launch, I do some of the same things Toby does, like photographs of things pertaining to the book (for Haven Lake, that meant sheep, heart-shaped stones, etc.)

I also do “cover reveals” and blog posts about the book. As a freelance writer, I write articles and essays for traditional print magazines and try to have them appear during this pre-launch blitz. I also write for online sites like Huffington Post, Cognoscenti, and Venture Galleries. These three months are busy with setting up personal appearances, too, at book stores, literary festivals and libraries.

What are the most essential marketing tools you use overall?

TN (Indie): My most essential tools are my blog and my email list. At the end of every book is a link to “sign up for new titles.” I have a Book Lovers’ Club where hard-core readers can get more frequent interaction, be Advance Readers, get sneak peeks of new material, etc–and another list that receives notifications of new titles only. I use my blog judiciously by keeping posts infrequent (no more than a couple times a week) and featuring top quality writing and photos. That way, when I post, readers pay attention.

Less important but still part of the overall picture, I engage often with dedicated fans on Facebook. My Twitter feed is over 10,000 strong and abuzz with interesting material. I also do Instagram with an emphasis on quality–I only post art-grade photos, and every so often I put in a thing about books. On Pinterest, I engage readers with boards related to Hawaii and choosing photos that look like their favorite characters.

HR (Traditional): Like indie authors, probably the most essential tool of any traditionally-published author is your social media platform. Like Toby, I have a web site where I blog about once a week. I’m active on Twitter and Facebook, and I’m also starting to do more on Pinterest. Again, I can’t emphasize enough that, even if you have the marketing wheels of a behemoth like Penguin Random House turning beneath you, it’s imperative for you to become part of the marketing effort and engage with readers. Don’t think of this as work. As Toby says, limit the amount of actual promotion you do on social media and just talk to people, post interesting photos, find or write articles that might be useful to people, etc. Think about your social media platform as a way of making new friends with readers and other writers.

What keeps you busiest the week before the book launch?

TN (Indie): I’m usually busy online, arranging guest blog posts with a big network of fellow authors/bloggers, sending out Advance Reader Copies (ARCs) to readers from Book Lover’s Club, prepping tweets and Facebook art with my assistant that announce the launch, and creating interesting contests and ways to engage readers with the book and encourage them to leave reviews.

HR (Traditional): Here, too, traditional and indie authors have similar responsibilities, except that in my case, my publicist is the one who is arranging places for me to submit guest posts or interviews. Oh, and one other difference: I do a lot of media interviews during the week prior to a book launch. When launching Haven Lake this month, for instance, I was interviewed by several newspapers, two regional magazines, and five radio hosts, plus I appeared on several cable news shows. I also go on our local NPR station with commentaries I’ve written from time to time. I don’t send out many Advance Reader Copies myself, because that’s done by the publicist, but I do come up with my own list of names and addresses to share with the publisher.

How do you track your sales to see what marketing strategies have been effective?

TN (Indie): Since I sell primarily on Amazon, it’s easy to see how things are doing! I can get hourly real-time sales numbers for my ebooks, and monthly counts (two months delayed) for my print books that sell through Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Rip Tides, Lei Crime Series #9, was a massive success on its first day, with close to 5,000 ebook sales at full $4.99 price point (pre-order and launch day combined) and only my own blog post and email announcement to launch it. This is after 13 books and my own Kindle World, though. I have a committed reader base, and at this stage I can take it a little easier on Launch Day, which for me looked like sending the email, posting a FB announcement, having some tea, and going to work at my counseling job! No parties, no book signing, no cards and flowers. *sigh*

(I did call my agent later on as the numbers came rolling in, so we could jump up and down and scream for a minute or two.)

A few days after the book went live, I went back into MailChimp, where I have my email list, and analyzed the buying patterns. Those click-through patterns still didn’t explain the big numbers, so I have to assume that Amazon also sent an email to people who had clicked the “new title notifications” button next to my Author Profile on the site.

HR (Traditional): Ha! Track my sales? That happens only in my fantasy life. This is the point where we diverge the most from indie authors. While it’s true that traditionally-published books are also sold through Amazon, there are so many other channels for both print and ebooks that you can’t possibly track your sales. (At the time of this writing, I’d say that my ebook sales are about double my print book sales, by the way, but that’s all ebook platforms, not just Kindle.). Not knowing your sales figures makes it tough to know whether a particular marketing strategy is effective. All you can do is wait for royalty statements, which come every six months from the publisher, and hope for the best. It’s kind of like playing the lottery with a really long lead time on the payout!

Do you hire outside publicists or pay for book reviews?

TN (Indie): No. I have Advance Readers through my Book Lovers Club who post a review in return for a free copy of the book, and I ask for readers to review at the end of the books, in my Acknowledgements section. (Once I started doing that, I got twice the number of reviews.) If I were starting out, I’d network with other authors in the same genre by visiting their blogs, and I’d ask for readers who wanted to post a review in return for a free books. I might also join a read/review group on GoodReads, or put my book up on NetGalley.

Regarding the publicist question: I have an assistant who helps me keep everything going, but no, I don’t have a publicist. I did hire a very good one (Booksparks) for three months when I launched my first book, Blood Orchids. While expensive, I would hire a publicist again to launch properly if I were just starting out. Their advice on branding alone was worth what I paid.

HR (Traditional): I never pay for book reviews, since the publisher sends advance copies to Kirkus, Booklist, Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, and all of the other big reviewing sites, plus I have a lot of readers now from my previous novels who are always happy to review a new book. I have hired a publicist for a few hours with each novel to help me reach niche markets–she just does the same thing as my in-house publicist, but has a wider reach.

How much money do you spend to launch each book, excluding editorial and design services?

TN (Indie): I take out print ads in OnMaui! Magazine, a Hawaii publication, and I boost my Facebook posts announcing the book for awhile, so about $500.00. I do the most advertising around four months after the launch, when the book has a lot of reviews and I put it on sale (all my books go on sale eventually, hooking in readers to try the rest of the series.) At that time, I pay big bucks to be featured on high-powered email lists like Bookbub to get my book into the Kindles of readers at free or deep discount. Many times, they go back and buy the rest of my books at full price and that’s basically how I make a living.

HR (Traitional): Seventy five dollars for one reviewer who I think writes astonishingly in-depth reviews and then posts them everywhere. Oh, and if I hire a publicist for a few hours, she charges $125/hour.

How do you use social media to connect with readers?

TN (Indie): I’d be lost among the millions of self-published authors without it. I shared a lot of my strategies using social media already, so I won’t rehash–but it’s important to remember that good social media is just that: GOOD. There’s no motive but to enrich people’s lives, and eventually doing that results in goodwill coming back from others who experience that “paying it forward” attitude.

Doing good social media has been the main plank in my author platform. Isolated out here on Maui, I can’t physically connect with many people–but through my social media, primarily using beautiful and uplifting Hawaii imagery, I literally reach the world. I have loyal readers all over the globe who follow my posts, folks who, when I am able to meet them in person, feel like real friends.

HR (Traditional): Even though I’m in Massachusetts and can easily drive anywhere, all I can do is reiterate what Toby says here about doing “good” social media to connect with readers. Far too many writers are focused on using social media to scream “buy my book!” instead of personally engaging with people. Your social media is only effective if it’s honest and useful. I have met many readers and fellow authors through Facebook and Twitter in particular, including Toby!

Do you meet many of your readers in person?

TN (Indie): Yes! They let me know when they’re coming to Hawaii and if I can, I meet them for coffee or beach walks, which is so fun. When I take trips, I post on social media that I’ll be in a city, and does anyone want to meet? Inevitably readers pop out of the woodwork to meet me and we’ll set something impromptu up. On my last trip to San Diego, readers hauled in over fifty books for me to sign at a coffee shop we picked to meet at! Readers really enjoy telling me great places to eat and things to do in their cities, and I’m grateful the “insider scoop.”

I’m increasingly doing more formal events as my name becomes known–I’ve done several book signings, and I speak at high schools and other venues, like the upcoming Hawaii Book and Music Festival. But nothing like what Holly tells me she does, because I simply don’t have the same level of print book presence in stores. Most of my interactions with readers are online.

HR (Traditional): Definitely. As a traditionally-published author, it’s fairly easy to set up events in bookstores and libraries. I also connect with book clubs either in person or via Skype. I usually begin meeting readers with a big book launch party in my local bookstore–we typically have about 80 to 100 people at that one–followed by smaller bookstore events and literary festivals. Last weekend, for instance, the Newburyport Literary Festival brought 5,000 people to our town, and I was on a panel of authors speaking to a big crowd, then signing books afterward. I also belong to a panel of cross-genre authors that goes around to various libraries, speaking with aspiring writers. That’s my favorite part about a book launch, actually: connecting with readers in person.

If you could merge a launch for a traditionally published novel and a self-published novel, and could only pick three marketing tools, what would you put in your Book Launch toolbox?

TN (Indie): I’d pick Twitter (for broadcasting news and connecting to anyone in the whole wide world!), my own blog and my own email list. I’ve built all three of these tools into a powerful personal PR machine that works because it adds value to peoples’ lives–it’s not just sales, sales, sales. For deepening relationships with core, committed readers, I’d have to add Facebook as a fourth resource tool. I can’t tell you how often I’ve gotten ideas, encouragement, and tons of free PR through interacting with my readers on Facebook.

HR (Traditional): Like Toby, I would definitely say that Twitter and my blog are the two most effective ways for me to reach people around the world. But my third pick would be in-person events. These might not reach as many readers as social media, but they give me the most joy.

Like what you just read? Check out more articles on the indie author experience at IndieReader and share the love!

* * *

Toby Neal is the author of the bestselling indie Lei Crime Series mysteries. She grew up on the island of Kauai in Hawaii. After a few “stretches of exile” to pursue education, the islands have been home for the last fifteen years. Toby is a clinical social worker, a career that has informed the depth and complexity of the characters in her novels. Outside of work and writing, Toby volunteers and enjoys life in Hawaii through outdoor activities including beach walking, photography and hiking. You can find her books and blogging here, follow her on Twitter @tobywneal, and connect with her on Facebook at Toby Neal Books.

Holly Robinson is a journalist, essayist, celebrity ghost writer and novelist whose work has appeared in a wide variety of national publications. Her first book, The Gerbil Farmer’s Daughter: A Memoir (Crown) was a Target Breakout Book. She self-published her first novel, Sleeping Tigers, in 2011 and published her second novel, The Wishing Hill, with NAL/Penguin in 2013. Penguin also published her third novel, Beach Plum Island, in April 2014 and her newest novel, Haven Lake, in April 2015.

Holly holds a B.A. in biology and an MFA in creative writing from The University of Massachusetts, Amherst. She lives on the Massachusetts North Shore with her husband, where they’ve raised five children and are fixing up a 1790 Colonial one shingle at a time. Learn more about Holly and her writing here, follow her on Twitter @hollyrob1, and connect with her Facebook page.

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Chicken Wings, You're Doing It Wrong

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Growing up in a Lebanese/Italian family I got to taste a lot of different food. My father had a vibrant passion for cooking and experimenting, fusing wild ideas and off-the-cuff concoctions, while my mother steadied us with suburban Italian comfort classics straight from old Howard Beach. I didn’t know that most of my elementary school friends didn’t have cold spaghetti mixed with yogurt as an after-school snack until I got blank stares and tilted heads from my adolescent entourage. Eating was an adventure in my family, my brothers and I were putting down lamb vindaloo at an early age and diving into the world of sushi, Thai cuisine and a smorgasbord of cultural indulgences. There was nothing my father wouldn’t eat or dare us to try. The embedded experience propelled me into a driven hunger for the food culture, seeking out innovations, taste sensations, new cocktails, meeting people and creating lasting memories. As a musician and producer, bonding with band members over the classic favorite buffalo wings and brewskies became a ritual and a motivated passion for me and my fellow bandmates. This ritual has hit many fans of this top American foodie favorite but only a handful have become full on “Wing Hunters.”

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First you need to have the passion to find the best wings on the planet. Next you have to realize this is not a solo journey. You need the support of the food community to steer you towards their favorite wing spots so the hunter can form his own judgment. Most importantly, you have to have the adventurous spirit and palette to experience crazy flavors and cooking preparation. If you have what it takes it will lead to incredible discoveries and an amazing hobby you can share with your friends and family. That road has led me to perceive wings as an essential “gateway food” for those not as willing to expand their palette or try new dishes. Somehow, if you put anything on a chicken wing, it becomes familiar and acceptable. Sure there are those rare carnivores who won’t eat chicken off the bone and only want boneless wings (there is no such thing as boneless wings, they’re called chicken nuggets…which I am not sure if those actually exist either), or those outspoken “Buffalo Wing Purists,” who claim that only good wings come from Buffalo and that other flavors are blasphemy. Sure I understand some of the mindset of this misanthropic perspective but let’s be honest…why would we want to put a limit on our imagination and creativity? It’s not like the classic flavor got so tampered with that it’s on the verge of extinction. We can have our wing flavors and eat them too. Imagine dating someone for years and never getting past first base. That’s what only having one flavor is like…after a while, you’ve got to go all the way.

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Consider this, buffalo wings came about in 1964. That’s over 50 years ago! At this point, there are already common flavors that have been inducted into the wing hunter’s hall of fame (an imaginary place that lives inside the heads of wing hunters). These are, Honey BBQ, Teriyaki, Honey Mustard, Garlic Parmesan and Thai Chili.

This has been “GoWing” on for years. However, new flavors and styles are on the rise and the future looks AmazeWing! From low and slow smoked BBQ to brined, bacon-ed and broasted. Creamy carbonara wings with pancetta and cocoa crusted Nutella wings sided with chocolate chip waffles a la mode. The wing scene is booming and smoldering in many parts of the world. Especially in eastern NY, Brooklyn, Long Island, Queens and into New Jersey. You could say that there’s a chicken wing trail from Buffalo to Baldwin and beyond. With the exploding craft beer industry and innovative wings in the works, wing and beer pairing has leveled up and gained some massive experience points.

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The mega combo are coming together and uniting fanatical fans in celebration. Years of wing hunting and honoring chicken champions with awards has led me to The New York Best Wings Festival on June 7, where wing fans of every age will savor over fifty incredible flavors of chicken wings in the mecca of championships. I for one am leaving the gateway open to a world where buttery Buffalo wings can coexist with melted manchego chipotle nacho wings and a Cadillac margarita. That sounds so good I am “Flipp-Wing” out right now!

Explore The “AmazeWing” Adventure

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Pomp and Circumstances: Lessons Learned From Preschool Graduation

Life is a series of moments — thousands, millions of them, strung together in dizzying, relentless procession. And sometimes they rear-end each other, piling up in a tangled, mangled mess of memory so we don’t know when one ends and another begins, and we risk losing forever the ones that get pancaked in-between.

The soccer game is well underway when I arrive — yes, against my will, I am a soccer mom, this is all my husband’s doing — so I thread my way across a field of chaotic toddler soccer matches, heading toward my daughter’s team at the far end. I chuckle at all the packs of miniature people stumbling after soccer balls nearly as big as they are, entire teams falling on top of each other in wiggling piles, like litters of clumsy puppies.

My family is easy to find. My broad-shouldered husband towers over everyone else in his bright red shirt; my long-legged oldest daughter bounds down the field, a gazelle in a lavender jersey; my other children giggle on the sidelines, balancing fluorescent orange cones on their heads. I mingle my sigh with a laugh: My children, the cone-heads.

The 2-year-old’s cone topples to the ground, and she glances up. Spotting me from yards away, her big brown eyes sparkle in that crinkly way she inherited from my grandmother. “Mommy!” she squeals, drawing out the word with the shameless exuberance only a toddler dares embrace. And she is off, scampering toward me on stumpy legs, her cherub cheeks flushed pink with play. Curls, damp with baby-girl sweat, bounce around her chin; her chubby, grubby hands reach for me; and joy, transcendent glee, lights her face. My heart sprints ahead of me to hug her. I toss a prayer heavenward: “Please oh please let me remember this moment.” And even as I rush toward her, I desperately try to brand the memory — the unbridled affection in her eyes, the clumsy cadence of her run, the lilt in her little-girl voice, the squeeze of tiny arms around my knees, the swell of my own heart — somewhere deep inside, forever.

And then it’s a spring evening — not even 7:30 — and the children, exhausted from a day spent in the wholehearted pursuit of childhood, are already snoozing. My husband calls me outside to show off his handiwork with the sprinklers. He’s spent days lying on his stomach with his arm shoved, shoulder-deep, into the red Georgia clay, and I follow him into our front yard. He’s happy with his accomplishment, and his contentment is contagious. I look around. The mosquitoes and humidity, those plagues of Southern summers, have yet to arrive this year. The air is cozy, friendly, a warm breath teasing our cheeks with hints of honeysuckle and magnolia. And as my husband gets distracted — fiddling again, always fiddling — I look up at the sky. The blue is fading, diluting, more white now than blue. Already I can see the pale half-moon, making an early appearance.

While my husband tinkers, I plop down onto the prickly grass, breathing the clean air, peering up at my children’s darkened bedroom window. I smile to myself. This is nice, I think. I’m happy. A flicker of fear for the unknown future darkens my thoughts, just for a heartbeat. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, I tell myself, reining in my imagination, but right now, in this five minutes, life is good. All is right in our little world. I swirl the feeling around inside myself — tasting it, savoring it, imprinting it into my heart, storing its essence for a time when I may need to recall the memory of serenity.

Sure enough, hours later, my daughter sleepwalks and mistakes the carpet for the toilet. Peaceful moment gone. New moment — gross moment — begun. But all night long — all week long — my mind flits back to those five twilight minutes spent basking on my front lawn, an arm’s reach from the man I love.

Days later, my oldest child “graduates” from preschool. Sure, it’s all a bit comical — preschoolers, decked out in scarlet caps and gowns, “Pomp and Circumstance” lending undue solemnity as they parade down the aisle — but still, I cry. (Of course I cry. Always, I cry.) The end of innocence, it feels like. Like she’s walking away from her baby-girl years for good, off for the big bad world of kindergarten. And it’s a bittersweet foretaste of the real graduation to come, thirteen blink-of-an-eye years from now, the one when I finally lose her to the real world. But today, my daughter — so often reserved and shy in groups of people — today, she glows. Her bronze cheeks radiate a rosy pride, her black eyes sparkle, and her giddy, giggling grin sets my heart soaring. She has never been more beautiful.

By the time the ceremony ends, I’ve already forgotten the songs she sang, but I know I’ll never forget the dance in my heart and the way that she smiled, marching down that aisle, taking my breath away.

Most of us will stop to acknowledge life’s milestones, the scrapbook-worthy events. But so often it’s the little things that mean the most — a sunbeam smile from a child, a well-timed finger-brush from the one we love, a laugh-till-you-cry phone call from an old friend. Add up these countless, seemingly insignificant memories, and you’ve got a life.

A life worth living.

A life worth remembering.

The trick is to be aware enough, present enough, to recognize those little moments when they come — and not just the happy ones, but the gut-wrenching ones, too. The heartbreaking ones, too. Let us put life on pause, just for a heartbeat — enough time to take a snapshot in our mind, bottle a feeling in our soul, and choose to live, and love, one moment at a time.

A version of this post was first published on http://LizzyLife.com.

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Graduates: Rage Now!

I was privileged to receive an honorary doctoral degree from Quinnipiac University this weekend, and to deliver the commencement address for the Graduate Programs in the Health Sciences. Here, more or less, is what I said.

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright

Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,

And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight

Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,

Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

(From The Poems of Dylan Thomas, Dylan Thomas, 1914 – 1953)

To the faculty and administration of Quinnipiac University, distinguished guests, friends and families, and above all to the graduates of the class of 2015- it is my honor and privilege to be here today to tell you… I have no idea what Dylan Thomas was trying to say.

Well, that’s not quite right- I have some ideas. Perhaps it was a prayer; perhaps it was a plea. Perhaps an observation; perhaps a lamentation.

I suspect it was all of those, and more besides. But whatever the full array of intended connotations, I think we may comfortably endorse the basic proposition, but repudiate the timing.

And that, then, leads directly to the only advice I feel qualified to offer you today; the one bit of grizzled wisdom I can presume to share. And that presumption is predicated not on the fact that I stand where I am now standing, but rather on the fact that I once sat where you are now sitting- and have gone the miles in between. On that basis, then, I offer you this and only this: rage now!

I am older. Not yet old, perhaps, but older. Old enough to have gone those miles. Old enough to have children older than many of you. Not yet old, but old enough to see the first shadows cast by shadows around the next bend in the trail. Old enough to see the inchoate invitations of twilight around the further arc of the horizon.

I am old enough. And despite all the crap I learned in Med School- I can read the writing on the wall, albeit with glasses now. It says: don’t wait.

I would not wait to rage until wizened, and withered and wispy. I would not wait to rage until stooped, and spindly, and sarcopenic. I would not wait until frail, and failing and feeble, and futile. I would not wait, and nor should you!

Rage now!

Rage, while young. Rage, while strong. Rage, while resolute, and resilient. Rage while buoyant, and boisterous. Rage with limbs unwearied by the miles and dead-ends. Rage, with a conscience uncluttered. Rage, with supple hearts as citadels of righteous rage. Rage, while foolish enough to believe in the possible. Rage now.

Rage as the spirit moves you. Rage as your conscience guides you. Rage as your hearts demand of you.

Rage, as the better, angry angels of your nature advise.

Rage against standards of care that fail to meet your standards, wherever and however you encounter them.

Rage against a society that has known for literal decades how to prevent fully 80% of all chronic disease, but has done so little to convert what it knows into what it does. Rage against a perennial, preventable loss of years from lives, and life from years.

Rage against the hypocrisies of a culture that wrings its hands over epidemic obesity and diabetes in children, yet continues glibly to run on Dunkin’, wrap its pizzas in ever more copious garlands of bacon, and market multicolored marshmallows to kids as ‘part of a complete breakfast.’ Rage against the willful engineering of addictive junk food.

Rage against procrastination, and prevarication, and profit-driven predation.

Rage against the pursuit of only those opinions we already own, and calling it research. Rage against the divisive echo chambers of cyberspace.

Rage against the triumph of ideology over epidemiology; dogma over data; diatribe, over dialogue.

Rage – at the confluence of science and sense, evidence and empathy – rage there against the false choice between responsible use of scientific evidence, and responsiveness to the needs of patients that all too often go on, when the results of randomized, controlled trials, run out. Rage, there, in defense of holism, and humanism, and the humility to acknowledge – they are the same.

Rage now, and follow your rage along the road that leads to the difference you hope to be in the world.

What road is that? Ah, there’s the rub! No one can tell you.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I– I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost (1874-1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

I cannot direct you to the correct road ahead, and I doubt Robert Frost has been much help either. After all, which road did he choose? Did he ever go back? And most importantly, all those years later — did he sigh with contentment, or regret?

Maybe the only practical advice on the matter is courtesy of that modern-day sage, Yogi Berra: when you come to a fork in the road…take it.

As is often the case with Yogi, the blatant simplicity of that statement may mask its genuine wisdom. Perhaps the one best hope any of us has to learn what we need to know- is simply by going where we have to go.

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.

I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling.

What is there to know?

I hear my being dance from ear to ear.

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?

God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,

And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?

The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do

To you and me; so take the lively air,

And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.

What falls away is always. And is near.

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

I learn by going where I have to go.

Theodore Roethke, “The Waking” from Collected Poems of Theodore Roethke.

Theodore Roethke’s poem, The Waking, is, if anything, murkier and more abstruse than Dylan Thomas. But once again, the take away message is clear enough: we can all only hope to learn what we need to know by going where we have to go.

And so, my young friends, we come to it now. For the rage is all within you; and the roads are all before you. And it is your time; and it is your turn; and it is your chance; and it is your difference to make; and it is your road to take.

So let none dissuade or divert you. But expect none to direct you. The road that spends your rage on the difference you need to be in the world belongs uniquely to you, and no one else can find it.

It is your time, and so I call upon my colleagues here on the dais, and I say: it is their time, so if you please…Release the Kraken!

Well, maybe not the Kraken.

Rather, release upon the world this graduating class of 2015, that they may carry our most fervent hopes and great faith.

And to you, my young friends, I say: it is your turn; and it is your chance.

It is your turn. And we have left for you a mess of messes. We have left you the things we have broken, and all that we have failed to fix. And now we have the nerve to say to you: it is your turn. And for that, I can only offer my sincere apology, and my condolences.

But it is also your chance. And the righteous rage is all within you, and the roads along which to spend that rage to be the difference you hope to see in the world — are all before you. And you are young, and foolish enough to believe in the possible.

And for that, I offer you my genuine envy; my heartfelt congratulations; and the only parting guidance my own road accords me the right to share:

Rage now!

-fin

David L. Katz, MD, MPH, FACPM, FACP hopes, when the time comes, to go gentle into that good night. He can generally be found raging now.

Director, Yale University Prevention Research Center; Griffin Hospital

President, American College of Lifestyle Medicine

Editor-in-Chief, Childhood Obesity

Founder, The GLiMMER Initiative

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Trading Flowers for Funded Family Leave Is Good for Moms, Family and Business

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All the moms I know personally and professionally appreciated the flowers this Mother’s Day. And yet most of them would gladly trade all those flowers for family leave policies that would allow them — and their partners — to be the kind of working parents they want to be.

The reality is that the U.S. isn’t doing enough to accommodate women in the workforce. Forty percent of the U.S. workforce doesn’t have access to paid sick days, which means that many women and men have to decide between staying at home with a sick child and receiving a paycheck. As economically stable and as technologically advanced as the U.S. is, it is one of three countries in the world without some form of paid family leave. It’s time for the U.S. government to make a greater commitment to women and their partners.

Providing supportive parental policies benefits business as well as families. Parents, especially mothers, often leave the office for an extended period of time to care for their families. This leaves employers scrambling to find and train new talent, which hurts productivity and costs money. A progressive parental leave program could go a long way in helping businesses mitigate the cost of parents leaving and having to train new employees.

At Hill+Knowlton Strategies in the U.S., we’re hoping to set a precedent for other companies to follow with an industry-leading parental leave program, which allows 16 weeks of fully paid leave for birth moms and 10 weeks fully paid for dads, partners or adoptive parents. In addition, we offer transition time off leading up to the birth and on return to work after the birth to make life easier for new parents. In doing so, we hope to retain talent and demonstrate that work-life blend is important to us.

Some people are opposed to paid parental leave because, as Jeffrey Miron, senior lecturer on economics at Harvard, articulated in a PBS interview earlier this year:

“Either the owner of the business is going to pay for it in lower profits, or the customer’s going to pay higher prices because we have raised the cost for that business, or it’s going to come from the salaries of other workers, because someone has to pay for the paid leave of those people who take advantage of such a policy.”

Data from states such as California, which has offered paid family leave for more than 10 years, shows that the costs to the program are minimal. According to a Harvard Business Review study in 2010, “most employers (87 percent) reported no cost increases associated with the program, and 9 percent reported cost savings thanks to reduced turnover or reduced benefit costs.” Some companies probably experienced even more cost savings because of the program’s coordination of employer benefits with state benefits.

California has found an effective way to offer paid leave without hurting businesses. Paid Family Leave (or Family Temporary Disability Insurance) in California is paid for by employee payroll deductions to the state disability insurance program (SDI). This means that employees, not employers, pay for the service. California employees pay an average $30 dollars a year, although employers do have the option to pay for all or part of that employee amount.

We could make this a national policy, which President Obama proposed to Congress earlier this year. A paid family leave program could be funded at the federal level through unemployment insurance. Canada has gone this route. Although unemployment insurance is paid for mainly by the states and only overseen by the federal government, recent emergency unemployment compensation or EUC (during the recession) came from federal funds and was federally regulated. EUC ended in 2013, when Congress did not renew the program, but the structure is still in place to provide this benefit. With relatively minor adjustments, it could be changed into a paid family leave program.

A program like this, which would be part of the state-federal joint unemployment service, could be paid for by a combination of federal payroll deductions from employees and employers (much the same way that UI is now funded by deductions from employers). The cost, if looking at states that already do this and scale up, could be between $200 million and $3.5 billion a year, depending on the details of the program. To put this in perspective, to renew EUC benefits, which ran from 2008 to 2013, cost around $30 billion for 2014.

Unlike the EUC program, a paid family leave program would not have the same fraught political landscape to navigate. It is not a program that pays for people to “sit on the couch” (for which EUC has been targeted). There is an expectation that workers go back to work. Benefits could be capped at eight weeks, the same way they are in California.

In a nation that purports to support family values, proposals for paid family leave should appeal to all sides of the political spectrum. With a little effort and building on the successful paid leave programs that have come before, we could have U.S.-wide family leave in lieu of flowers the next time Mother’s Day rolls around.

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Dangerous Binge Drinking Has Increased Among Teens And Young Adults Around The Globe

PARIS (AP) — Alcohol consumption in wealthy, developed countries has declined over the past two decades but dangerous binge drinking has increased among the young, according to a new study released Tuesday.

The 34-nation Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development says average annual alcohol consumption in its member countries has fallen 2.5 percent over the past 20 years to 9.1 liters (2.4 gallons) of pure alcohol per capita.

But that overall trend hides a dangerous increase in hazardous drinking by young people, the OECD says, as measured by both the amount and the rate that alcohol is consumed.

The OECD warned that binge drinking by the young is a “major public health and social concern,” with children taking up drinking at increasingly earlier ages. Harmful consumption of alcohol now accounts for a higher proportion of deaths worldwide than HIV, AIDS, violence and tuberculosis combined, the report said.

Among boys aged 15 and younger, the proportion who have been drunk rose to 43 percent from 30 percent during the 2000s, while for girls the share rose to 41 percent from 26 percent, the OECD said.

Regular binge drinking by young adults, usually defined as consuming five or more drinks on one occasion once a week, has risen among both men and women in Canada, Germany and Italy over the past 20 years, the OECD said, and has also risen among French men and New Zealand women.

Surveys of youth binge drinking in the United States have given conflicting information, the OECD said, with one showing little or no increase and another survey showing that it has risen.

Rates of binge drinking fell over that period in England and Ireland, the OECD said.

The study also noted that while Estonia, Austria and France had the highest rates of alcohol consumption at more than 12 liters (3.17 gallons) per capita annually, consumption has dropped in Austria and France. In Estonia, it has continued to rise, up nearly 60 percent between 1992 and 2012.

The OECD advises governments on economic growth.

Copyright 2015 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

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A Game-Changing Moment for Fast-Food Workers

Two and half years ago, 200 fast-food workers went on strike in New York City demanding $15 an hour and union rights. Most people, including many in the labor movement, thought the cooks and cashiers from restaurants like McDonald’s, Burger King and Wendy’s had no chance to win. But nine strikes later, and having sparked a global movement for higher pay, $15 doesn’t seem so crazy anymore.

In perhaps the strongest sign of how far their $15 movement has come, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced a plan to raise pay for fast-food workers statewide, setting up a potentially historic victory that could ripple across the country.

The governor’s announcement shows that when workers stick together and speak out, their voices are heard. By joining together and going on strike, New York’s fast-food cooks and cashiers rewired how everyday Americans and elected officials think about wages. They turned $15 from a far-fetched goal to a new baseline for workers nationwide.

Workers like Flavia Cabral, a 53-year-old mother of two from the Bronx who works at McDonald’s, have been at the center of the transformation. Flavia has gone on strike, spoken out for $15 and union rights and even traveled to Denmark to meet with McDonald’s workers there who, by standing up for higher pay, now make $21 an hour. Flavia, meanwhile, struggles to afford medicine for her husband and school supplies for her 15-year-old daughter. Despite working two jobs, she barely covers her bills and her dreams of a better life for her children seem unattainable. “I want my girls to go to college,” she says; “but I know that they won’t because I can’t pay.”

On just $8.75 an hour, Flavia is forced to rely on food stamps to feed her family. This is business as usual in the fast-food industry, where 52 percent of fast-food workers depend on some form of public assistance to survive, costing taxpayers $7 billion a year. By paying employees minimum wage or just above it, multi-billion dollar corporations like McDonald’s and Burger King essentially outsource their labor costs to taxpayers. The bill for taxpayers in New York is amongst the highest per capita in the country, at $700 million every year.

While the public helps eat the cost of low wages paid by fast-food companies, their executives are paid handsomely. The disparity between CEO and worker pay in the industry–more than 1,000 to 1–is far greater than any other industry. One reason for the striking pay gap is the prevalence in the industry of share buybacks, which line the pockets of executives and short-term investors at the expense of investment in workers or the companies themselves.

McDonald’s, for one, spent $2.95 billion on buybacks each year, on average, over the past decade, representing 67% of net income. [Link to Lazonick HBR] The company announced plans this week to return $8-$9 billion to shareholders this year alone. McDonald’s–and the rest of us–would be better off if the company invested that money in its underpaid workforce.

In New York, for example, paying workers $15 an hour is actually not as radical as it might sound. A living wage for a single parent with one child in New York City is $24.69, according to researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. Even upstate in Albany, it’s $21.08.

As the Fight for $15 has spread to every corner of the United States and around the globe, it has gained unstoppable political momentum. Seattle, SeaTac and San Francisco adopted $15 minimum wages, while in Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emmanuel passed $13. Democrats in Congress are now pushing a $12 federal minimum wage, and the urgent need to raise wages is emerging as a flashpoint in the 2016 presidential race. Fifteen dollars an hour has become a winning political issue and fast-food workers marching in the streets made it happen.

Now in New York, where the Fight for $15 started, there’s an opportunity for a historic victory. Gov. Cuomo’s leadership opens the way to raise fast-food pay in our nation’s most populous city and across the state to $15, re-balancing our economy, and strengthening communities.

When workers win $15 in New York, all workers will win, not just fast-food workers in New York. Once fast-food workers are paid $15, workers in retail, home care and other industries will be even more energized to escalate their fights for higher pay. Plus, fast-food workers winning $15 will make it easier for workers in retail, home care and other industries to win raises in their workplaces. It will have a catalytic effect that will show the whole country how collective action–joining together and standing up for a higher paycheck – is the path to a better life.

Two and a half years after 200 fast-food workers walked off the job in New York City, nobody is laughing at their calls for $15 an hour. In fact, everywhere you look, including, now, in Albany, people are joining in.

Mary Kay Henry is the international president of the Service Employees International Union.

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The Death of the Superhero: 5 Ways to Cope With Loss

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Photo Source: Fotolia

Superheroes have a special place in my heart. I grew up fascinated by Stan Lee @TheRealStanLee and his creations in the Marvel comic world. There’s just something about the message of hope and goodwill that superheroes convey that’s so appealing to me.

We all have superheroes. I’m not referring to Ironman, Superman, Spiderman, or Wonder Woman. I’m referring to people in our lives whom we look up to, who mean the world us.

The grandparent who always made you laugh, the aunt or uncle who always made time to sit with you and just talk about life, the best friend who was always there, the parent who always made you feel better.

Yes, we all have superheroes who make a big impact on our lives.

I have had many superheroes in my life. My grandpa who taught me how to fish, one of my closet friends in college who always shared a laugh, and of course, my dog. Hey, dogs can be superheroes, too, you know. Remember Underdog?

But what happens when our superhero dies?

My grandpa passed when I was a young teenager, my dog died shortly after, and my best friend in college died tragically in a car accident a year before I graduated.

There’s no secret formula, no magic potion, no hidden message that will bring your superhero back. This is real life, not a movie.

The agonizing pain and profound loss is so great and so overwhelming that it completely rocks our world.

I was reminded of this recently when I was speaking with a 13-year-old boy in my office who had just lost his superhero — his grandpa. Luke was trying to be strong, but his eyes revealed his profound sorrow.

So, how can we cope when our superhero dies? It’s never easy, but here are five steps that can help you cope with your profound loss.

This list is not to be confused with or replace of the five stages of grief coined by Elisabeth Kugler-Ross from her popular book, On Death and Dying (1969).

Step 1: Allow yourself to grieve. The biggest mistake that I see people make when they lose a loved one is to act like they are okay. No one is okay when they lose a loved one, so don’t act like it. Cry, and cry some more. It’s okay. Get angry, laugh, cry — do anything that will help you express your emotions. Just don’t stuff your feelings.

Step 2: Take a break. Don’t go about your day as business as usual. Don’t avoid your hurt and sorrow by trying to do the same things you always do. If you can, take a break from work or school. Cancel everything on your schedule for the next one to two weeks.

Step 3: Surround yourself with others. You should take a break, but don’t withdraw and isolate yourself from others. This is the time when you need love and support from others the most, so don’t shut them out.

Step 4: Re-engage in life. After you have spent time grieving, taking a break and receiving comfort from others, it’s time to re-engage in life. Go back to work, stay productive, start adding to your schedule. This is often the hardest part for many people. Re-engaging in life does not mean you’re done grieving. It simply means that you are learning to live your life while you grieve.

Step 5: Build new memories. This step often produces a false sense of guilt for many. People have told me that they’re afraid to build new memories because it will somehow mean that they’ll forget their superhero. I gently remind them that they will never forget, and their superhero would want them to build new and happy memories again.

It is so profoundly difficult to move forward after our superhero dies, but it is possible to live life again. You’ll always have a hole in your heart from your loss, but you’ll make it — you’ll even be happy again.

You’ll never forget your loved one, and the new memories that you build after their passing will be a lasting tribute to your one and only superhero.

Life is so much different without our superheroes, but life is not over. Who knows, one day the script of your life may even make you a superhero in someone else’s life too.

***
John Cordray is a professional counselor and blogger writing about Emotionally Healthy Living at www.johncordray.com. You can also follow John on Twitter @JohnPCordray.

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