Whoopi Goldberg Is Producing A Show About Trans Models

Whoopi Goldberg announced on Monday that she is in the process of producing a reality television show for Oxygen centering around transgender models.

“The View” co-host will have an executive producer credit on “Strut,” a show focused on Slay Model Management — the first modeling agency to exclusively represent transgender models, according to People.

“This show is important right now, because for all of the positive advances the community has made and continues to make, transgender is still a hot-button word that gets people hysterical,” Goldberg reportedly said in a statement. “People tend to focus on the stereotype instead of the person, and this series will give viewers a unique opportunity to spend time with real people who are struggling with the same challenges we all face as we make our way through the world.”

The show comes at an important cultural moment for transgender visibility, when trans and gender-nonconforming people are being subjected to a wave of anti-queer legislation in Southern states, such as North Carolina’s House Bill 2.

Transgender models are also nothing new, though the cultural fascination with transgender people are certainly giving them a more visible platform. A number of other agencies specifically catering to trans models have established themselves in the past years, including Trans Models agency in NYC.

Carmen Carrera also became one of the most well-known trans models in the world when she transitioned after her time on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Carrera went on to become the subject of a petition to make her the first openly trans Victoria’s Secret Angel.

Speaking about “Strut,” Goldberg added, “You may even be surprised to discover that you have been seeing and interacting with transgender men and women in ways you didn’t even realize!”

“Strut” is slated to premiere on Oxygen later this year.

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Is Your Landlord Breaking The Law? 8 Warning Signs

From those frustrating nonrefundable deposits to rentals that aren’t technically legal, there are some landlords out there who don’t adhere to the letter of the law. But because landlord-tenant law differs from state to state, it can be confusing to understand exactly where the lines are … for both landlords and tenants. According to Nolo.com, if you’re renting in Austin, TX, for example, state law doesn’t limit how much landlords can charge for a security deposit, while California tenant laws limit landlords to requesting just two months’ rent as a security deposit for an unfurnished apartment.

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The best defense tenants have to combat unscrupulous landlords is to know the laws in their jurisdiction. If you encounter any of these warning signs, screening your landlord could give you peace of mind — or help you decide if you’d be better off looking for somewhere else to live.

1. Your landlord won‘t let you see a CO
Some rentals require a landlord to have a certificate of occupancy (CO), but in certain circumstances — like when you’re renting a condo, for example — you’re probably safe to assume that your new home is covered by one. Likewise, if you’re renting an entire single-family house, the landlord typically won’t be required to apply for a CO. But if you’re considering renting a basement, attic, or garage apartment, you should make sure it’s a legal dwelling before you sign a lease. If it isn’t, there’s a good chance the place isn’t up to code — and that could mean it isn’t safe. It could be a fire hazard, for example, if there’s only one exit or if the wiring is faulty.

2. Your landlord asks if you were born in another country
According to the Fair Housing Act, landlords can’t legally ask about your national origin, how many children you have, if you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend), and many other questions that could point to ulterior motives. “Denying applications for discriminatory reasons, such as race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, or disability, is illegal,” says Shaolaine Loving, a Las Vegas, NV, landlord-tenant attorney.

So if your landlord asks whether you’d like directions to the nearest church, you don’t have to answer. In fact, if a landlord were to ask you an unsuitable question and then deny your application, you’d probably have cause to file a housing-discrimination complaint. Of course, landlords do have the right to screen tenants, but their decision to rent should be based only on an applicant’s credit history, income, rental history, and a criminal background check. Some optional screening guidelines are OK too, such as no smokers or no pets. (Landlords must allow service animals, however, as long as the applicant can prove the animal’s service status.)

3. You’re expected to pay a nonrefundable deposit
The term “nonrefundable deposit” for a rental should be a red flag. Why? A deposit is always refundable unless there are reasons not to refund it. For example, a pet deposit is refundable if there is no pet damage when the tenant moves out. What might not be refundable, however, is a fee. Tenants typically don’t get fees back. Some landlords might charge a move-in, cleaning, or pet fee, for example. In those cases, tenants need to check the laws of their state to find out if local laws allow for fees in addition to the security deposit.

4. The security deposit is really high
Most landlords charge a security deposit before a tenant moves in, and this is perfectly legal in all states. The security deposit is a way for a landlord to cover any damages that might occur during the tenant’s stay. But landlords are often limited in how much of a security deposit they’re allowed to charge. Las Vegas landlord-tenant attorney Loving says it’s illegal to charge more than three months’ rent for a security deposit in Nevada, for example. Other states limit the maximum that a landlord can charge to one month’s rent, and some states have no limits whatsoever. If your state doesn’t limit the amount a landlord can charge, shop around to determine what other landlords in the area are charging — before you hand over too much of your cash upfront.

5. The terms of the lease don‘t sound right
You should understand everything in the lease. If not, get an explanation from your landlord, and be on the lookout for tricky language. Just because it’s in the lease doesn’t necessarily mean it’s legal. “Any lease terms contrary to the law, like saying a tenant waives the right to sue or has to pay the landlord’s attorney fees in the event of any dispute [is wrongful],” says Loving.

6. Your landlord drops by … a lot
Beware of the landlord who lives nearby and can’t resist the urge to pop over to get a look at your rental. And under no circumstances (barring an emergency) can landlords use their keys to enter whenever they like. When you become a tenant, you have a right to privacy. Before you sign, scan your lease for a privacy policy and voice any concerns. Landlords typically can’t even drop by unless they have a reason to, and are allowed only after they’ve given notice, which is usually 24 hours (except in the case of an emergency). Typical reasons include the following:

  • To make repairs.
  • To show the place to prospective renters or buyers.
  • To make a routine inspection (commonly annually, semiannually, or quarterly).

7. Your landlord raised the rent in the middle of your lease
Raising the rent is not illegal … if it’s done the right way. Unfortunately, an unscrupulous landlord might try to increase your lease in an unlawful way. If you have a signed lease, your landlord can’t raise the rent until lease-renewal time. And if you live in a rent-controlled unit or are a Section 8 tenant, your landlord has further limitations on how much rent can be raised. Otherwise, landlords can raise the rent as much as they like.

8. Your landlord wants to sell (and wants you out immediately)
Property owners can sell their own property anytime, even with renters in place. But they can’t simply kick out their tenants whenever they like, even if they’re putting the property up for sale. They must give proper notice. If you have a lease, for example, unless there’s an early-termination clause that allows your landlord to break that lease early, you have the right to live out the lease in the unit.

Have you ever needed clarification on landlord-tenant law? Share your experiences and tips for securing a legal rental unit in the comments below!

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Once in a Lifetime: Michael Jackson, Madonna and Prince

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In the Beginning…

The waters flowing through the Great Lakes region were magical in the spring and summer of 1958, as the births of Prince, Madonna and Michael Jackson all occurred within a mere two months of each other. Prince Rogers Nelson was born June 7 in Minneapolis, Minnesota, followed by Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone on August 16 in Detroit, Michigan, and Michael Joseph Jackson nearly two weeks later on August 29 in Gary, Indiana. Each of these musical innovators would become household names, putting their stamp on pop culture in their own, unique ways. While these artists’ styles and work have been compared and contrasted for decades, what’s often overlooked is the impact their formative years had on their young, developing minds, and ultimately their sense of self and worldview.

The precocious trifecta of future megastars grew up in devoutly religious households: Madonna’s family was Roman Catholic; the Jacksons were members of the Jehovah’s Witness faith; and Prince was raised as a Seventh-day Adventist. A foundational religious discipline would easily lend itself to the establishment of a strict and rigorous work ethic later in life. Each of these rising talents would have a pivotal childhood heartbreak, which forced them to grow up quickly and discover creative ways to cope with emotional trauma. At the age of 5, Madonna would lose her mother to breast cancer, never to regain the unconditional love and bond of a maternal figure. And at the age of 6, Michael Jackson would become the lead singer of the Jackson 5, forcing him out of the playground into the working world of show business. Prince’s parents would separate and divorce before he was 10 years old, leaving his family broken and home life scattered.

All three entertainers had strained relationships with their fathers, which would inspire some of their future work: In Prince’s movie, Purple Rain, we see his character grappling with a critical and abusive father and in Madonna’s autobiographical single “Oh Father,” she laments: “You can’t hurt me now, I got away from you, I never thought I would.”

Baby I’m a Star!

Budding stardom was recognized early on for these recording artists.

Michael Jackson stepped into entertainment at the age when most kids are making milestones in kindergarten. Led by his father/manager, Michael grew up on the road, in the studio and on the stage. “I am most comfortable on stage than any other place in the world,” he shared in a 1980 interview on the TV program 20/20. Michael recorded his first album with the Jackson 5, Diana Ross Presents the Jackson 5, at the age of 11. Being a part of the Motown family at an impressionable age allowed Michael to learn from some of the greats — backstage at the Apollo watching legendary James Brown and Jackie Wilson captivate audiences with their soulful singing and breathtaking choreography, and in the studio quizzing producers on how the recording process works. By the age of 20, Michael would produce 15 more studio albums with the Jackson 5, and later the Jacksons, developing and perfecting his vocal style, dance skills and songwriting abilities, before the release of his smash hit, solo album debut, Off the Wall, at the age of 21.

Prince taught himself to play the piano at age 7, the guitar at age 13, and the drums at age 14. And at 14 years old, Prince began performing throughout Minneapolis with a local band called Grand Central. Three years later, Prince would have a masterful dexterity of 27 musical instruments and create his first demo tape of songs that he wrote, produced, performed and arranged himself. This demo would lay the foundation for Prince’s debut album, For You, released two months before his 20th birthday.

Madonna began studying dance at age 14. She was a stellar student, graduated high school, and continued her dance education at the University of Michigan Ann Arbor in 1976. After two years, Madonna moved to the Big Apple, where she studied for a short time with the Alvin Ailey dance troupe and worked as a professional dancer for two years. Madonna added singing to her artistic mix, and began performing as a singer and backup dancer. “I studied very hard on learning how to play guitar, and piano, and drums, everything, and then I started writing music, and I got my own band together, made a demo tape, took it around to the record companies and got my record deal,” said Madonna in a 1983 radio interview with Paris DJ Stephen. Madonna released two disco club hit singles, “Everybody” and “Burning Up/Physical Attraction” before getting a recording contract to produce a full album. Five years after leaving Michigan for New York City, Madonna’s self-titled debut album was released in July1983. She was 24 years old.

For all three rising solo artists from the Midwest, with their follow-up albums, they would skyrocket to global fame, define ’80s pop culture, dominate the MTV music video landscape with their groundbreaking, uniquely stylized fusion of video storytelling through song and dance, break world records, color barriers and forever influence pop artists for generations to come.

With Michael Jackson’s sophomore solo album, Thriller, he would enter the Guinness Book of World Records for the Greatest Selling Album of All Time (over 65 million copies sold). Michael would continue to break world records, receiving an additional 30 Guinness World Records, including Most Successful Entertainer of All Time. Madonna would receive the Guinness World Record for the Greatest Selling Female Recording Artist of All Time. Prince would be the only one of the three to receive an Oscar for Best Original Song Score for “Purple Rain.” Prince would tie the record for 12 consecutive years with a Top 10 pop single on the Billboard 100 charts in the U.S. Globally, Prince has sold over 150 million albums, Madonna over 300 million and Michael over 750 million.

Working Day and Night

The artistic and creative gifts of Michael Jackson, Madonna and Prince are innate in their DNA: Michael’s mother, Katherine, was a singer and pianist and his father, Joseph, was a guitarist with his own band, The Falcons, before he began to focus full throttle on developing the talent of his sons. Prince’s mother, Mattie, was a jazz singer and his father, John, was a jazz pianist and songwriter with his own group, The Prince Rogers Nelson Trio. “Prince Rogers Nelson” was a stage name for John Nelson. Prince’s late father said that he had named his son Prince because he wanted the artist to be a musician, like him. And, Madonna’s mother, Madonna Louise Ciccone, was formerly a dancer.

However, the epic success of all three icons would have been impossible without a relentless work ethic and a drive for excellence. “Study the greats, and become greater!” was one of Michael’s many mantras. R&B was an influence for these artists. Both Michael and Prince said that James Brown was one of their inspirations and exemplars — from the command of his band, his trademark original sound, and legendary choreography. And Hitsville U.S.A. struck a major chord with the Material Girl. “Motown is a really big influence with me ’cause I grew up in Detroit, and I listened to all those old, Motown groups,” said Madonna in a 1983 interview with DJ Stephen on Radio Show.

NBA great Kobe Bryant discussed Michael Jackson’s work ethic in a 2016 Jimmy Kimmel Live interview: “He showed me how he composed songs, how he structured them, how he trained, who inspired him…He walked me step by step through things that he learned from [his influences] and how it made him a better entertainer. How he studied the Beatles, how he broke down every single note and felt like there was a certain emotional connection with each chord. It was just fascinating stuff. I thought I was working hard until I met him.”

In a 2016 ew.com interview, hit-making producer Jimmy Jam shared the following about Prince’s work ethic: “… He out-talented everyone by so much. In sports, it’d be like Michael Jordan. He walks into the gym and he’s the most talented player; that’s how Prince was. He walked in and he was more talented than everybody…He’d come to rehearsal, work with us, go work with his band, then he’d go to his studio all night and record. The next night he’d come to rehearsal with a tape in his hand and he’d say, ‘This is what I did last night!’ and it’d be something like ‘1999.’”

And celeb trainer Nicole Winhoffer told eoline.com in 2014: “Madonna stands as an icon. Her body, work ethic, and persistence is an inspiration to the people.”

Express Yourself

“It’s my own style. Unique and original. You won’t see it anywhere else.”
–Madonna, Paris interview with DJ Stephen on Radio Show (1983)

“I strive for originality in my work. And, hopefully it will be perceived that way.”
–Prince, first television interview on MTV (1985)

“My attitude is if fashion says it’s forbidden, I’m going to do it. In many ways an artist is his work, it’s difficult to separate the two. I think I can be brutally objective about my work as I create it, and if something doesn’t work, I can feel it, but when I turn in a finished album – or song – you can be sure that I’ve given it every ounce of energy and God-given talent that I have.”
–Michael Jackson, the autobiography, Moonwalk (1988)

The greatest gift that Madonna, Prince and Michael Jackson have given to the world is their unique, artistic voice. Their collective ability to masterfully blend music, dance, live performance, music videos, film and fashion to create artistic expressions that resonated across generations and countries is unparalleled. Their influence on our culture is multi-dimensional, transformative and everlasting. The world before Madonna, Prince and Michael was one in which we’d watch artists sing and perform, and we might sing along to their music. When Madonna, Prince and Michael each had their meteoric rise in the ’80s — and declared they were originals, were going to push boundaries, yet also perform with a level of creativity and innovation never before seen — they created a deeper level of engagement with their audience and the public. In addition to singing their songs, we began to emulate their dance moves and sartorial tastes. Their appeal was contagious, enchanting, universal and international: black, white, young, old, straight or gay, it was a cultural revolution, unlike any other:

* Madonna had young girls around the world wearing rubber bracelets, lots of lace, and big hair bows. Michael Jackson created a new look: a signature red leather jacket with black trim — the Thriller jacket — which sold internationally. And, how can we forget that purple became the most popular color on the planet, when Prince’s movie, Purple Rain, was released.

* Everyone wanted to perform the Moonwalk, seamlessly and flawlessly, just like Michael Jackson. Who didn’t attempt to do a full split and spin, after watching Prince do it in Purple Rain? Madonna introduced a formerly underground dance style performed at house balls for a mostly gay community, vogueing, to the mainstream.

Madonna, Prince and Michael will always be known as trendsetters and tastemakers. Yet, their bodies of work also move people’s spirits and emotions. Emanating from their creative expression are themes of freedom, rebellion, acceptance, inclusion, peace, joy, fun and romance. In their music and videos, they also tackle controversial topics such as race, religion, politics and sexuality.

Most of all, we find Madonna, Prince, and Michael likable and relatable, because we see and embrace their humanity, complexities and eccentricities. All three of them are cultural misfits, who never quite fit in, but somehow rose to the top and stayed there. They are our American heroes, the underdogs from Midwestern, working-class families who succeeded, against all odds. Prince was the short guy from Minneapolis who embraced androgyny and, despite his stature, was larger than life. In reality, Michael Jackson was shy, alone, and kept to himself. On stage, Michael Jackson was a breathtaking force — dynamic and otherworldly. Two distinctly different personas — offstage and onstage — within the same man. Madonna fought disappointment and loss from her youth with rebellion. She pushed her past aside, moved forward, always robustly, with a propensity for head-turning, over-the-top attire and behavior. In the imperfect, there lies perfection.

Gone Too Soon

With the recent loss of Prince, it is hard to imagine that, like Michael Jackson, the new music will be coming from a vault. There will be no more live performances, cameo appearances, philanthropic projects or political statements to be made. That untouchable trifecta of musical titans from the Midwest were all supposed to live forever, if only to continue the soundtrack for an aging Generation X, much like how baby boomers still have the Rolling Stones. While the legacies of Prince and Michael will be timeless, up-and-coming artists will look to them for inspiration; the Purple One and the King of Pop are the ascended masters and reference points. The pain will linger in knowing that the creative environment that allowed these legends to flourish has vanished.

The industry has changed along with the way music is produced. Songs aren’t as rich as they used to be. Instruments have been overpowered by synthesizers, samples and beats. Auto-Tune has replaced raw vocals in the studio. New and emerging artists don’t have the freedom or flexibility to be daring and different. There is a marketing and promotional formula that must be followed — people aren’t even buying music like in previous decades, so budgets have dwindled for things like artist development. What will the next generation of pop artists look like? Will the pipeline to a recording contract be dominated by reality TV competitions? Could a young artist, who can play over two dozen musical instruments even fathom getting a record deal or complete creative control?

We can never deny that in their heyday Prince, Michael and Madonna, now the surviving member of the trifecta, shoved the envelope and set the bar for trend-setting music makers who came after them. Many may not appreciate or comprehend Madonna’s impact today, but that can’t diminish her influence. What’s next for the queen of reinvention? Whatever is on the horizon, like a prayer, she might just take us there.

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Typography Can Save Your Life

The National Weather Service publishes its forecasts in all caps no matter what the weather. It might be MOSTLY SUNNY, WITH A HIGH NEAR 75, or it could be HAIL AND DAMAGING WINDS, WITH SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS, but in either case it’ll be shouted in an all-caps warning, like a house is on fire. But earlier this month, the weather service took a typographic sedative and officially started using mixed caps in its weather forecasts.

That sort of news would often be relegated to a press release, or more likely a joke on a late-night TV show, but ProPublica journalist Lena Groeger used the peg to dive down the rabbit hole of typography. The Huffington Post talked to Groeger about how she transformed this small news item into a fascinating essay about type choices and how they can have life-or-death consequences. 

The premise of this story, or rather the news peg, is based off a press release: The National Weather Service is giving up ALL CAPS. What inspired you to dive deep into typography?

I’ve always loved typography. It’s what got me into graphic design in the first place. When I saw the National Weather Service announcement, a couple of other examples in typography adjustments came to mind. The first was how the font on highway signage has been changed to Clearview from Highway Gothic to make it easier for drivers to read. I also thought of Edward Tufte’s book Visual Explanations. He talks about how using too many signals, like all caps, bold, italics, all at once can make something important harder to read. The surgeon general’s warning that appears on a cigarette billboard in ALL CAPS, underlined and surrounded by a black border, is a great example of that. 

You have so many great examples of terrible typography. How did you find them?

I didn’t have to do too much research as there was a lot out there. I came across an MIT study on vehicle displays pretty quickly. Then as I was writing about ALL CAPS I wondered why terms and conditions are always that way. I had no idea it was because of a law on how the lettering needs to be conspicuous.

What surprised you in your reporting? 

That NASA had a document on typography! But once you find out that’s the case, you think, “Of course NASA is on top of that.” I was mostly struck by how many best practices in design are ignored in a lot of fields mostly because of legacy systems. Typewriters are still defining what words look like today.

Let’s talk about fonts. Do you have a favorite?

I’ve always liked Garamond. It’s sophisticated and clear, and it doesn’t call too much attention to itself. In its italic version there’s this wonderful ampersand that looks like a piece of art. But for general use, my new favorite font is Atlas Grotesk. It’s a clean sans serif font like Franklin Gothic. It’s good for little labels in charts and graphics. It’s easy to read and gets the message across.

After your piece posted, did anyone write or tweet other examples of typography gone awry?

No, but I got this great email from Glenn Fleishman, who also had written about ALL CAPS this week. He wanted to pass along his essay on the history of using all caps to signify shouting. He even found an instance from the 19th century.

Want to read more about how a SHOUTY typeface is not only annoying, but also dangerous? Read Groeger’s piece.  

 

Go Behind The Scenes With Other Reporters: 

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Paul Ryan Slams VA Secretary, But Stops Short Of Calling For Resignation

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WASHINGTON — Speaker Paul Ryan had harsh words for Department of Veterans Affairs Secretary Bob McDonald on Tuesday, after the top VA official earlier compared health appointment wait times for veterans to lines at Disney. But most notable were the words Ryan didn’t use: that McDonald should resign.

“I don’t know if he should resign,” Ryan said Tuesday morning when asked if he, like Sen. Roy Blunt (R-Mo.), thought McDonald’s comments rose to that level. “He should clarify his comments, and he should show some empathy for our veterans that he’s supposed to serve. This really is just beyond the pale a comment like this.”

McDonald made the case on Monday at a Christian Science Monitor breakfast that the VA should be measured less by doctor’s appointment wait times and more by satisfaction. “When you go to Disney, do they measure the number of hours you wait in line?” McDonald asked. “What’s important? What’s important is: what’s your satisfaction with the experience?”

Republicans and Democrats were jumping all over McDonald’s comment by Monday afternoon, slamming him for comparing lengthy and dangerous waits to see a doctor to a line at Space Mountain. And the story showed little sign of going away Tuesday. Ryan and other top House Republicans lambasted McDonald’s comment during their weekly press conference.

“We were dumbfounded,” Ryan said. “This is not make-believe. This is not Disneyland or Wonderland, for that matter.”

The Wisconsin Republican noted that veterans have died waiting in line for health care. “Clearly, the secretary’s comments are not worthy of the veterans that he serves,” Ryan said. “But they’re also indicative of a cultural indifference at the VA.”

Ironically, McDonald became VA secretary after former Gen. Eric Shinseki was forced to resign over the Veterans Affairs wait times scandal, and many veterans activists have given McDonald high praise. Both VA committee chairmen in Congress — Rep. Jeff Miller (R-Fla.) in the House, and Sen. Johnny Isakson (R-Ga.) in the Senate — have suggested that McDonald should stay on as Secretary of Veterans Affairs into the next administration.

McDonald’s comments, however, have certainly threatened his legacy at the VA, and the story could spiral even more out of control if it’s not appropriately dealt with.

The VA issued a statement Monday night that said the department was “working to better serve the Veterans we have the privilege of serving. This is a solemn duty that we take seriously.”

That doesn’t seemed to have placated Republicans like Ryan.

“Secretary McDonald ought to clarify his comments,” the speaker said. “Just as important, he should pledge to redouble his efforts to fix these problems, as he and the president promised to do.”

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Creating 'Medicare For All' Isn’t As Easy As It Sounds

Among Republicans, every discussion of health policy in this presidential-election year has begun with the assumption that the Affordable Care Act is a disaster that must immediately repealed and replaced by some “market-oriented” system that turns back the clock to 2009 or perhaps to an even-much-earlier era when people paid for health care out-of-pocket. 

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Of Gladiators and Bachelorettes

When I was in college, I went with my family on a vacation to Italy and received the standard tourist introduction to Ancient Rome, including the Coliseum. That crumbling building made quite an impression on me, largely because the movie Gladiator had just come out earlier that year. I tried to imagine the gladiators waiting in the dark inner recesses, anticipating what would very likely be an agonizing and humiliating public death. I thought about the emperor, drunk with power and popularity, basking in his ability to rally the crowd as he decided the fate of human beings. Worst of all, I imagined the crowd filling the amphitheater with cheers and boos The whole thing made me feel sick and fascinated. At one point this sort of thing was acceptable and even considered a fun outing? “Hey honey, if you’ve got the evening off maybe we could take the kids to see that guy fight the bears in the Coliseum – it’s supposed to be really good.”

Of all the pieces in this gruesome puzzle, I learned that the crowd was the hub of the wheel. Yes the emperor was the one who directly decided the fate of each gladiator but without the crowd, he would have had nothing to gain. No glory, no popularity, no frenzied rush of excitement. It was the crowd that fed the ego that killed the gladiator, all under the guise of entertainment. Those ancient Romans knew how to make good TV.

Which brings me to The Bachelor. Hi my name is Sarah and I love The Bachelor. For years, this show has been one of my social outlets – I have friends over, crack open a bottle of wine, dig into the dark chocolate, and wax philosophical about how TOTALLY CRAZY that one girl has been acting for the last three episodes. It’s a show about love and what woman doesn’t love love? Except I have come to see (shamefully in very recent days) that this is not a show about love at all. It is all about drama. More specifically, it is about dangling the heart’s desire of 30 women in front of their faces, raising their hopes over the course of days or weeks, and then smashing it to smithereens publicly in front of rolling cameras. This show does not advertise smooth and successful courtships. It advertises tears. And though there are no doubt many parts of this show that are completely fabricated, those tears are the real deal. And we, the crowd, eat ’em up.

I am a counselor by trade, which means that I make my living doing my best to understand the inner workings of the human mind and heart. And there are a few ways in which (in my humble but professional opinion) the women on The Bachelor are set up for emotional injury. For one thing, they are put into a stressful environment (competing with 29 other gorgeous women for a date with one man in front of TV cameras… come on) with alcohol readily available. Stress and the accompanying release of cortisol (a stress hormone produced by the body) place a person in an emotionally vulnerable position that is only exacerbated by the use of alcohol. Then, to up the ante in the stress department, many of the dates that the women go on involve downright scary activities. Some examples from episodes I have watched include bungee jumping, repelling off of a skyscraper, performing in front of an audience, participating in a fake wedding, and driving race cars on a race track… to name just a few. Now we take these women from this emotionally vulnerable place, put them in front of an attractive man, and tell them that they must “open up” in order for the whole process to work. The result? Tales of abusive relationships, deaths of parents and spouses, surprise pregnancies, personal and professional disappointments, and all manner of life traumas are shared with a virtual stranger and millions of TV viewers. And those who resist these hasty personal disclosures are chided for not being open and thereby not allowing their relationship to advance.

In the process, a sense of intimacy is created that totally should exist in the context of a safe, monogamous relationship. Sadly, the relationships on The Bachelor are decidedly unsafe (you have a 29 out of 30 chance of being sent home heartbroken – not great odds) and un-monogamous (just count the number of mouths that guy’s tongue explores – it’s usually a lot). And speaking of tongues, don’t even get me started on the physical side of these relationships. Though each season differs, the kissing generally begins within the first couple of weeks. Physical intimacy escalates from there until the end of the season, when contestants are invited to spend the night with the bachelor in The Fantasy Suite. The audience is never told exactly what goes on in the Fantasy Suite but we can use our imagination and conclude that the physical relationships have gotten pretty serious by that point. Biochemically, we can now add oxytocin to the mix – a compound produced by the body during physical contact that creates feelings of connection. And finish off the cocktail with a dash of dopamine – a neurotransmitter that acts on the reward center of our brains during periods of pleasure. What are we left with after all of this? A group of stressed out and vulnerable women, feeling intimately connected to and excited by an emotionally detached man who is dating 29 other women and will, in all likelihood, publicly dump them within the next 6 weeks. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a setup for emotional bloodshed and the emperor is rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

But let’s put the emperor aside for a moment. We’ve already established that he is not the root of this problem. He derives his power from the crowd without whom he would have nothing to gain from his sick game. Let’s talk instead about the crowd. That means the viewers, ya’ll. And lest you think that I am trying to heap shame upon the heads of Bachelor fans, please remember that the author of this article is the former Mayor of Bachelor Nation. Perspective, not shame, is my goal. I believe that we the viewers, the members of the crowd, need a new perspective on this show. We are not witnessing lighthearted hijinks on The Bachelor. We are watching (and applauding) deep emotional wounding. Never mind that these women signed releases before going on the show. Releases mean everything in the realm of law and nothing in the realm of morality. A contract may allow a person to be treated injuriously without the right to legal recourse. But the contract never ever nullifies the injury. The wounding is unchanged by a signature on a release. We viewers cannot fall back on the argument that “they brought this on themselves.” Make no mistake, we brought it on them by publicly exploiting, sensationalizing, and mocking their wounds. Those women are duking it out in the arena while we laugh with our buddies and sip our wine.

I think it’s safe to say that most of us look back on gladiator battles with horror, wondering how anyone could applaud such violence and brutality. But we humans aren’t particularly creative. Our violence has become only slightly more subtle. Spilling blood represents a more concrete injury than does streaming tears but both represent an injury, sometimes of critical proportion. And that is exactly why we watch. Not for the love, but for the bloodshed. And are we not entertained? We viewers feed the egos/pocketbooks that break those women’s hearts. It’s time to wake up and recognize our bloodlust for what it is. I, for one, will choose to no longer follow the crowd on Monday nights. I’ll take my wine without a side of shattered dreams, thank you very much.

Wanna hear more from Sarah? On Twitter, you can follow me as @MuchHaikuAbtNothing. Please excuse the tweets about The Bachelor. That’s in my past.

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Confessions Of An Ex-Smoker Who Still Dreams About Cigarettes

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For me, it was always cigarettes. We had no need for words. No one ever understood me more or judged me less. What confidant had ever been so there for me, or had so many dimensions? The first-thing-in-the-morning cigarette. The after-meal cigarette. The driving-in-the-car cigarette (ah, so good). The slow/stressful/awesome/plain old everyday-day-at-work cigarette. The cigarette with a beer. The talking-on-the-phone cigarette. The I-just-slept-with-you-and-now-I-wish-you’d-leave-so-I’m-focusing-on-lighting-up-and-hoping-you-get-the-message cigarette. The I-just-ran-a-marathon-in-4:30:11 cigarette. I scoffed at dilettante puffers who had the nerve to call themselves smokers. Amateurs. Come on.

I started when I was 14 and never wanted to stop. I paused in my mid-30s, when I was trying to get pregnant, and resumed mere months after my daughter was born. People around me were smoking, and I couldn’t not join in. The first few drags made the room spin and I thought I might throw up, but we were back. All the way. With us, it was all or nothing.

Still, no matter how strong the bond, you can’t smoke in front of your child. So the next five, six years were all about sneaking. “Mama has to step outside now.” I was always stepping out. I always felt the pull, and the pull made me churlish, even to my sunny girl. It couldn’t go on.

If it’s possible for your soul mate to have your worst interests at heart, to make you ugly and old before your time, to pit you against your dearest dear ones, to rob you of your hard-earned money, to be actively working toward your death, then cigarettes were mine. And I don’t blame them for anything. In fact, I look forward to a faraway someday when it’ll be safe to reunite. The 90-year-old lady bumming a light? That’ll be me. It’s the same way I think about heaven: probably not happening, but such a lovely dream.

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Radical New Interrogation Technique Is Transforming The Art Of Detective Work

One afternoon in January of 2012, a Los Angeles dog walker named Lauren Kornberg was taking a stroll through Griffith Park with her mother and nine canines. They were wending their way through Bronson Canyon, a rocky area that sits downhill from the Hollywood sign, when all of a sudden a golden retriever named Ollie ran off the trail and began to dig excitedly under a bush.

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Peter Dinklage & Lena Headey Play Video Games For The Iron Throne

When you play the (video) game of thrones, you win, or you’re Lena Headey

Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) completely dominates his big sis Cersei (Headey) and Conan O’Brien in the latest “Clueless Gamer.” On “Game of Thrones,” the ultimate winner of the Iron Throne hasn’t been revealed, but there’s no doubt about who takes the victory during the trio’s game of “Overwatch.”

In addition to actual gameplay, the three of them also obsess over one character’s seemingly polished posterior.

“Somebody’s been shining that,” Dinklage says.

And if you thought these three would show any sense of maturity when they discover that the character also makes a moaning sound, well, you know nothing, Jon Snow.

 

“Conan” airs weeknights at 11 p.m. on TBS.

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.