Hasta La Gadget!

The news of Pat Summitt’s death continues to ripple through the sports world, but it also shines a crucial light on another community: those who are suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.

Summitt, who became the winningest coach in the history of major college basketball at the University of Tennessee, passed away due to complications from the illness, according to a statement from her family. And, sadly, that’s not uncommon. Rapid health deterioration is an inevitable outcome of Alzheimer’s disease that many medical professionals are working tirelessly to solve.

“Alzheimer’s is devastating to an individual and their family,” James Hendrix, director of global science initiatives at the Alzheimer’s Association, told The Huffington Post. “Win or lose with research trials, we’re committed to ending this disease one way or another.”

More than 5 million Americans suffer from Alzheimer’s, a condition that can cause memory loss, confusion, anxiety and other neurological issues. The illness is the sixth-leading cause of death in the United States. In 2015, the mortality rate reached an all-time high, resulting in 29.2 deaths per 100,000 people, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

What makes Summitt’s diagnosis different

Perhaps the most surprising part of Summitt’s case was her age. The legendary coach was 64 when she died, an indication that she had what’s known as early onset dementia, Alzheimer’s type. This is different than the typical Alzheimer’s disease patient, who likely wouldn’t display symptoms until after age 65, according to James Leverenz, a neurologist and the director of the Cleveland Lou Ruvo Center for Brain Health at the Cleveland Clinic.

“The average age of onset is closer to 80 years of age, so onset before 65 is uncommon, but not unheard of,” he told HuffPost. “Younger onset patients can particularly struggle because they’re often still working and may have families that depend upon them. It’s a tragedy.”

Summitt was still working when she was diagnosed with the Alzheimer’s type of early onset dementia in 2011 at age 59, stepping down from her role as the University of Tennessee’s women’s basketball coach shortly after. She went on to become a leading advocate in the fight against the disease by creating the Pat Summitt Foundation as a way to inform individuals and caregivers about the effects of the illness.

Early onset only accounts for about 10 percent of people with Alzheimer’s in the U.S. The cause of the disease in people so young is generally unknown. In the majority of instances, early onset is identical in form to the more common cases of Alzheimer’s, and progresses approximately the same way as it would in older individuals.

However, some research suggests that people who inherit rare genes linked with Alzheimer’s tend to display symptoms when they’re younger, sometimes even as early as age 30, according to the Alzheimer’s Association.

What it means to ‘die’ from Alzheimer’s

Despite the former school of thought that the disease isn’t technically a cause of death, experts now argue that it has a direct effect.

“Usually, the disease becomes so severe that patients become bed bound,” Leverenz said. “They become more susceptible to infections, sometimes they stop eating. It is usually an infection such as pneumonia that actually causes the person to die, but they wouldn’t be in that position if they didn’t have AD.”

How researchers are combatting the disease

Scientists are constantly pursuing clinical trials for drugs that could help slow or prevent Alzheimer’s. Currently, researchers are exploring how to reduce specific amino acids and proteins in the brain that lead to the development of the disease, Hendrix said.

Alzheimer’s researchers have also looked into lifestyle habits to prevent the illness or help mitigate its effects after diagnosis. Behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet and social stimulation have been shown to help boost memory and help protect the brain against cognitive decline.

Look out for warning signs

The most glaring red flag that there’s an issue is memory loss, Leverenz says. While many people laugh off poor recall, it could be a signal that something serious could be occurring neurologically. Individuals should also pay attention to brain function overall.

“As the disease progresses, people can lose ability to make good judgments and decisions, and eventually have difficulty with speech,” Leverenz explained. “They also might have trouble doing complex tasks with their hands — not due to weakness — and interpreting visual information.”

If you suspect anything is wrong, it’s never a bad idea to check in with your physician. It’s crucial to be your own health advocate — no matter your age.

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I was feeling frustrated the other day and I couldn’t exactly put my finger on why, but then it hit me:

I am the dumping ground.

I knew it, but I didn’t really know it. You know?

Life completely changed the moment we brought our second child, Ciro, home and I mean that in all of the beautiful ways life changes with a new baby. It also brings to light some tricky instances, sure, like making sure your first born doesn’t feel threatened, that her needs are still met with love and attention, that she is gentle with the new baby. I think about all those times I could just place our first child, Penelope, down on top of the rug with some blankets and her toys around her, and never have to worry that a toddler was going to come running through the room and trample all over her.

Life changed in other ways too right when Ciro was born, because my husband Greg took a giant leap of faith in his career. He left the finance industry after 17 years, got his real estate license, and is now a full time realtor. This probably sounds insane to some of you but believe it when I say it wasn’t a decision we took lightly or did on impulse. Greg is a smart man and a go-getter in every sense of the word, and although it was (and is) scary, I fully trust what he’s doing.

Maybe that sounds naïve of me or maybe it’s just my self-preservation reflexes kicking in because I just don’t have the resources to worry about it. I don’t have space in my head right now.

And Ciro. Ciro is… opinionated. I love that about his character but right now it does not make things easy. He doesn’t do well in the stroller, so a casual “stroll” to the park hardly ever happens. He is what I call a “car seat screamer,” which I think tells you everything you need to know about that. He also doesn’t like to be put down very much, so any time he is in his jumper long enough for me to get breakfast on the table for Penelope in the morning is an accomplishment, but he’s usually on my hip which means I’m stuck making eggs with one hand and keeping him away from the stove with the other, and suddenly I understand how easily it happened that I have that scar under my chin from the “hot soup incident” when I was a baby.

My alarm clock is the sound of him yelling for me from his crib (either that or the not-so-subtle poking of our toddler who is usually standing next to my bed staring at me like she’s an extra who wandered off the set of The Shining).

Someone always needs something. They are both at tough stages right now where everything – every bite of food, every bodily function, every nap or bath or bedtime – is dependent on me. Everything feels like a fire drill.

I know it won’t always be this way. And that’s a fact that makes me both happy and sad at the same time.

And while Greg now technically works for himself, and certain things have become somewhat flexible — meaning he is no longer on a 9-5 schedule — it’s not any easier because whatever schedule we had has gone right out the window. He is hustling, all the time, and he is also at the mercy of his clients, which means I can no longer anticipate concrete times and days of the week that he’ll be home. He now works Saturdays, and works lots of nights as well, and as any realtor knows, showings and listing appointments come up frequently and last minute.

So, everyone is running around and needing things and scheduling things and all sorts of shit is hitting all sorts of fans and I am literally sitting here catching everyone’s shit. That’s my role. I’m the default person. And I’m just now coming to terms with it.

That probably sounds terrible, because I’m always supposed to be that default person, that anchor, expected to be here to catch it all, right? That’s my job. And the thing is, I’m happy to do it and I think it’s an honorable thing, something to take pride in.

But it’s also a little bit maddening sometimes.

I realized that no one else is going to sit me down and make me drink a glass of water. Or tell me to take a walk, or hand me an hour to work on my book, or write in a journal. I need to take the reins and walk out the door and hand over the baby monitor and make myself a priority once in a while, because it’s no one’s fault, but no one else is going to do that. My kids certainly can’t. I am lucky in that Greg is fantastic and devoted father and husband, but he is also working to launch a new career. He’s stretched to max capacity, too.

Let me back up. Take what happened over the past few weeks, when we started feeding Ciro solid foods.

He became “backed up” for a while, then got a crazy rash because he kept trying to push a poop out. I had to keep him diaper-less for days to let the air get at his rash which was… interesting. I tried so many things: prune juice, then stopped feeding him foods altogether aside from breast milk (doctor’s orders, to get him back to soft poop). Then they prescribed a steroid cream for the rash (which I hated the idea of and it did nothing anyway, so I stopped it pretty quickly). Then back to the prune juice and suddenly, it worked. He finally became “uncorked.” I’ve never seen so much poop, EVER.

When it finally started coming out, it just kept coming. I was helpless, sitting there with a pack of wipes and shattered hopes because the wipes stood no chance in containing the Vesuvius-style eruption that was pouring out of him. All I could do was sit there and yell OH MY LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING until it was over.

And the eruption happened atop all the afghans my family members lovingly knitted for our babies, which if you can see past all the poop, was a beautifully poetic moment illustrating how the woven threads of family will always be there to catch your shit. (I’m pretty sure that’s a Shakespeare quote. Also, sorry Grandma.)

But anyway, back to the parenting of small children. I feel like I don’t have space in my head for anything else, which sounds so silly because no one outside of another in my shoes truly understands what I mean. What could be so hard?

Everything. Everything about this is hard. I’m a hard worker, I’ve been a hard worker my whole life, and this is the hardest I’ve ever worked. Ever.

Then there’s the straight up stoopid stuff like trying not to lose your dignity while standing there holding out Minnie Mouse underwear in front of a toddler who is deliberately ignoring you and has no intention of assisting you in putting them on her.

But there is so much awesome in all of it, things that are beautiful, transformative, incredibly amazing — and yes, they take every shred of your energy.

This morning in particular was intense and all I wanted to do was get outside, because that usually calms everyone down. But then I looked out the window and saw the guy who takes care of our lawn spraying a weed-killer all over it. I can’t even get into all the reasons this bothers me, but I didn’t know this was going to be happening and the damage was already done. We couldn’t go out on our lawn for 24 hours.

Great.

With Ciro on the verge of losing his mind, I needed to get out of the house, because if he loses his mind then I start to lose my mind and the whole thing turns into a shit-show. I try to avoid going out with the two of them because it’s always such a production, but you have to know how bad it was this morning that I needed to just leave with them for a little while. So we drove to get lunch, I popped Ciro in the soft carrier (one of his few happy places), we ordered, and sat down.

I really thought getting out would help make it better. But of course, Ciro lost his mind while Penelope and I tried to have lunch.

I was doing everything I could to quietly calm him down (bouncing around a little in the booth, offering him my teething bracelets, standing up) and was also taking care of Penelope, never mind contorting my body to try to squeeze in a few bites of my own lunch (which was a laughable and futile effort), when I felt the searing glare of the guy in the next booth over. I could tell immediately what he was thinking, and I knew right there what was happening: we were ruining his lunch. I felt my cheeks get hot and I was embarrassed. I contemplated leaving.

But I couldn’t leave because Penelope was mid-lunch and she was actually eating it, and I was starving too. And we were almost finished.

But the real reason I couldn’t leave is because fuck that guy. I was trying my best.

My phone was on the table so I hit ‘record’ for a few seconds to capture the madness, and thought about sending the clip to my friend later, one who I know understands all-too-well what was going down. The thought alone made me laugh and feel a little bit better about the situation. Because even though it’s a mundane, uncomfortable moment, I have to see it for what it is, and I have to be able to laugh. I must FORCE myself to laugh because laughter is a gift, and without it, we would go mad.

The guy was still shooting me daggers with his eyes. Because I like to mess with people I thought about ordering a glass of wine, chugging it, and taking a selfie while breastfeeding in public just to see if the guy’s head would explode, but I had no free hands for the wine and I was using all my energy reserves to cut grapes. He’s lucky. Society is lucky, really, that the hands of moms are too full to stop and react to the way we are sometimes treated when we are honestly and truly trying our best.

We finished up, and got on with our day. I sent the four-second video clip to my friend later, and we laughed about it. Ciro calmed down, I took Penelope to get a cookie from the French bakery next door, and when I told her she could pick a macaroon, she made her Italian mama proud by saying, “I don’t see any macaroni, Mommy.”

This is my life right now. My ears are filled with screaming babies. My hands are busy carrying them around and tucking them in and brushing their hair and catching their poop. But my heart is full, and my thumbs are only a few taps away from solidarity. And for that I am thankful.

This post originally appeared on the author’s blog. Alessandra Macaluso is author of The Real-Deal Bridal Bible and What a Good Eater!, available on Amazon and Kindle. She is the voice behind her blogs PunkWife.com and RealDealBrides.com, and has contributed to The Huffington Post and Scary Mommy, among other media outlets. Her original screenplay, Polar Suburbia, placed as a semi-finalist in the Moondance Film Festival. Learn more about Alessandra and her current projects at her author website AlessandraMacaluso.com.

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Every year we come to the end of Spring and I start to hear this from my advisor clients: ‘I’m having a hard time booking appointments. There’s no use prospecting. Everyone is going on vacation.’

Woah! Slow down there, Nellie!

You’ve just put yourself on track to lose an entire quarter of sales and relationships. Can you see how this belief – and that’s all it is – that ‘no one does business in the summer’ diminishes your focus and creativity? Can you see how it will dictate actions that turn the belief into a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Stop that right now.

Some advisors have their best quarter every summer. In fact, high-performing advisors know how to capitalize on every season and every economic situation. They continue to thrive because they don’t buy into tired group-think like ‘I can’t make money in these conditions’ or ‘I can’t book appointments because…’ or ‘no one does business in the summer’.

Instead, make an empowering decision. Decide for yourself that in fact, summer is the best time to reach people and book appointments to help them build a better financial future.

Here are four tips to help you leverage this time of year:

1. Make it true.

Now that you’ve decided you’re going to take advantage of the season instead of hide from it, brainstorm for yourself as many reasons why you can bring in more business right now.

2. Improve your tracking.

You’re right — people are going on vacation. But usually only for a couple of weeks. So find out when and track all the relevant dates in your book along with a proper follow-up plan.

3. Fish where the fish are.

Increase your presence in all the geographic locations, venues, events and communities that come alive in the summer. Plan a working trip to cottage country. Find out ahead of time what trade shows, networking events or golf tournaments are scheduled and get involved.

This is an ideal time to reach people because they are typically more relaxed. There is breathing space for deeper conversations and for making a genuine connection.

4. Keep your energy and approach light.

People are more in a holiday mood and will resist any Debbie Downer talk. Instead of using heavier phrases like ‘comprehensive review’ and ‘complete financial plan’, when you make your invitation, position it in the context of ‘short, relaxed meeting’, ‘get one important thing done’ and ‘get that off your mind so you can (either) go on vacation (or) come back from vacation rested and refreshed.

Alternatively, you probably have prospects in your pipeline who do want a complete financial review but haven’t had time to shoe-horn you into their tight schedule. Make sure you go back through your notes to find them. Now is the time to reach out and book that meeting.

The moment you make the mental shift to seeing your current circumstances as filled with possibility, your creative and problem-solving faculties kick in. It’s true that you can’t do business in the same way that works the rest of the year. But once you adjust to the current climate and become willing to pivot to a new approach, you will see opportunities that you’ve never noticed before.

Here’s to a prosperous summer season!

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I discovered a few years to my own surprise that I love to teach. I was surprised because I had long believed that writing couldn’t be taught. I often didn’t understand how I did what I did when I wrote; in fact, my best writing always seemed to come from someplace mysterious within me. The best word, the best phrase, or the best story twist was both surprising to me and a perfect fit for the story I was telling, supposedly, on my own. How could I teach this? How could I teach how to be surprised by yourself?

It turns out I didn’t have to, because people are constantly surprising themselves. The biggest difference between most professional writers and beginning writers is that the professional writer has accepted that it is their job to be surprised by themselves, whereas the beginning writer labors under the misperception that they must know it all. The experienced writer learns that what they can’t know is the source of their inspiration.

Which is how I learned that I loved to teach. Much of my teaching is a matter reminding students of how awesome they already are. They love to hear it, I love to say it, and it also happens to be true. I also teach a few things about the craft of writing itself, about the power of contrasting one thing against its opposite, about showing and not telling, about letting the readers use their imaginations. In truth, just as with surprising yourself, most writers already know this stuff, but they just don’t know that they know it. So I remind them.

Maybe teaching isn’t even the right word, for it suggests I am offering something my students don’t already have. I am actually just clarifying what has been made confusing in the student’s mind. And nothing is more confusing to most students than motivation. A writer must have some understanding of motivation if they are going to have any success at all. Until you begin to receive contracts or assignments from editors, no one is going to be asking you to write, or paying you to write, or waiting to read what you have written. For nearly every writer, the motivation to begin the writing journey must come entirely from within.

And by the way, once you have a contract or an assignment, the motivation still comes from within, which is why it is so useful for writers to train themselves in the isolation of obscurity. Perhaps you are currently laboring in this useful obscurity; perhaps you have also heard more times than you can count that motivation must come from within. You are sick of hearing it, because when you go within yourself for a little motivation, all you find is doubt and fear about the future.

For a time, I made a mini-career out of doubting and fearing the future. This is partly a consequence of being an author, of knowing that what I am writing now is going to be — hopefully — published and read later. All the supposed results, the money and attention and success, wait for every writer out beyond the horizon. How easy it is to believe securing that future and those results is my motivation. I must write something good today or I won’t be happy tomorrow.

In truth, fear is a lousy motivator. It can get you off the couch and running for your life, but you will soon tire and believe you want to quit. Love is the only true motivator. You will never grow tired of loving what you love. That you love to write is the only motivation you will ever need if you can just leave your attention where it belongs. As soon as I began using my love of writing as my only motivation, all those results I had spent so much time fretting over began arriving. How surprising and perfect that everything I believe I need to survive tomorrow grows out of what I love today.

You can learn more about William at williamkenower.com.

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Loretta Devine is a national black treasure. In addition to being practically everyone’s imaginary auntie, Devine is also one of the hardest working actresses in the entertainment industry. Her career spans decades, with television and movie roles in everything from “A Different World” to “Crash.” 

This month, Devine stars in “Caged No More,” a film that chronicles the harrowing realities of human trafficking. She plays Aggie, a caretaker who is willing to do anything to save two little girls kidnapped and sold into slavery overseas — by their own father. 

“I did have prior knowledge to human trafficking,” Devine told The Huffington Post, “but you can’t really imagine it until you see it. That’s why this movie is important, it explains the situation, it shows how difficult it is to actually get these children back, and how their lives are so terribly destroyed.”

Devine, a prolific character actress, takes on the lead role in the movie, which was filmed in Baton Rouge and also stars Kevin Sorbo and Cassidy Gifford. The actress relished the chance to headline a movie with a diverse cast. It’s a chance that she admits doesn’t come all the often in Hollywood.

“There are a lot of diverse independent films that get made, and they end up going straight to DVD. A-List movies are different,” Devine explained.

“If you’re a black woman, you have to have an Oscar or have been nominated for an Oscar to get into an A-List film.”

Devine, who currently stars on the hit NBC sitcom “The Carmichael Show,” says she’s happy about the current influx of black woman on television like Kerry Washington, Viola Davis, and Gabrielle Union, even though she feels like she’s missing out: “If you’re a black woman in your 20s or 30s, you can be a leading lady.” 

At 66, Devine has spoken candidly in the past about her dream of playing the lead in a romantic comedy, but her aspirations don’t end there. “Sometimes I think, oooh, I’d love to be in the Marvel movies, because those characters are so incredible. Like what Leslie Uggams got to do with Deadpool — that was amazing.” 

And yet, Devine, whose career was sparked in Broadway’s “Dreamgirls” back in 1981, sees her work as a contribution toward shows of today, like “Scandal” and “Being Mary Jane,” where she had a recurring guest role. 

“You feel like, in a way, that you’re doing something good. You just want people to feel like the sky’s the limit — if I can, so can you,” Devine says.

“It makes me feel good to see images of myself from over the years. People still watch ‘This Christmas,’ ‘Waiting to Exhale,’ ‘The Preacher’s Wife’… I never know what they’re going to come up to me and talk to me about, and that’s such a blessing.” 

“Caged No More” is now available on DVD. Learn more about the film here. 

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