Hasta La Gadget!

Zungle Panther sunglasses look like the normal shades you might see folks wearing, but these shades have something built in that music fans will love. If you want to listen to your favorite tunes or podcasts while on the go wearing these sunglasses you need no separate headphones or speakers. Zungle Panther sunglasses have built in bone conduction technology. This … Continue reading

Roku already had a Windows 8 remote control app for phones and tablets, but to keep up with the times it’s released a new Windows 10 version. Aimed at tablets and laptops, it makes controlling your Roku player as easy as tapping the screen or clickin…

Wearables like smartwatches and fitness trackers are a dime a dozen, however when it comes to audio products, we can’t really think of any wearable speakers, or at least until now which is when we came across a device called the Basslet. This is a device that bills itself as a wearable subwoofer, meaning that you can look forward to extra bass from your music while on the go.

So how does this work? Is it essentially a speaker on your wrist? Wouldn’t be noisy and annoying to other users? Sure, it might come across that way, but in reality the Basslet is completely silent to outside users. How it works is that it delivers the beats and the bass from your music directly to you so that you will feel the bass.

Its creators claim that it will allow the wearer to feel like they are completely surrounded by sound. We have to say that it’s a bit hard to imagine what that might sound or feel like, but if bass heavy music is something you’re interested in, or if the tinny sound coming from your smartphone speakers just won’t cut it, then maybe the Basslet could be worth checking out.

Its design is simple and straightforward and it doesn’t particularly stand out, so as far as anyone is concerned, you could be just wearing a watch for all they know. The Basslet has managed to surpass its original goal of €50,000 and has since more than doubled the amount. With 30 days to go the project is more or less funded but you can still get in on it if you want.

The Basslet Is A Subwoofer That You Can Actually Wear , original content from Ubergizmo. Read our Copyrights and terms of use.

Written by Melanie Haiken

“I love my mother — but sometimes I hate her, too.” Saying those words out loud — or even to yourself in your head — can be a painful acknowledgment that even late in life we can’t always make our relationships with our parents work out the way we want them to. And when you’re caring for an aging or ill parent, having mixed or negative feelings can add guilt, sadness, and self-blame to an already difficult situation.

“Being a caregiver, or living with a caregiver, isn’t easy like they portray it in those stupid commercials on TV,” says Barbara Tubbs Hill of Florence, Alabama, who took care of her mother with Alzheimer’s until her death several years ago. “They make it seem so sweet and nice, but it’s not always like that.”

Caring for a Parent Who Wasn’t a Good Parent
If your childhood wasn’t a happy one, or you didn’t have a good relationship with your mother or father, it’s no surprise that finding yourself in the role of caregiver can feel complicated. “I take care of my mom, but I don’t feel warm and fuzzy towards her,” says Susan Witherspoon (not her real name) of Knoxville, Tennessee, whose mother moved in with her last fall.

“My mother had favorites growing up, and I wasn’t one of them,” Susan says. “She was never cuddly, appreciative, or complimentary — at one point she even disowned me. Once when I was young I asked my sister, ‘How come she doesn’t like me?’ and she told me, ‘She’s jealous of you,’ but knowing that didn’t help.”

Susan kept her distance from her mother for much of her life, but when her sister called and asked Susan to take over caregiving duties, she agreed. “I figured, I’ve had my reprieve, now it’s my turn. I’ll stick it out as long as I can, but I’m not going to take care of her every day until the end — I just can’t do that to myself.”

To protect herself, Susan says, she’s had to distance herself. “I think I’ve just turned the switch off to that part of myself,” she says. “If my mother says thank you for taking her to the bank, I say you’re welcome, but I don’t wait for it. I’ve turned off my expectations. I’ve resigned myself that this is going to be it — she’s never going to acknowledge what happened, or apologize.”

What’s helped most in dealing with her mother, Susan says, is the Caring.com community, where she’s connected with others who feel the same way.

“You think you’re alone having these feelings, and then you find other people are going through the same thing and you don’t feel so bad.”

Other Caring members say what’s worked best for them is to try to separate the present from the past. “I will never be able to erase my childhood, but I’ve let those feelings go,” says one anonymous Caring.com community member. “My mother was not the best mother, and it would be very easy to write her off, but she is what I had and she deserves to have someone looking after her now.”

Caring for a Loved One Who Says Mean Things
“Remember that old song, ‘You Always Hurt the One You Love’? That’s how it was with my mother,” says Barbara Tubbs Hill. “We loved each other, but we could cut each other to the quick faster than anyone.” As her mother’s disease progressed, she says, her personality underwent a drastic change. “My mother went from thanking me for all the things I was doing for her to being angry with me all the time.”

Perhaps hardest of all, Tubbs Hill says, was watching her mother speak kindly to others, then turn around and be cruel to her. “My mother could turn on and off in an instant — she could be so nice and sweet to someone else and then give the me devil over nothing. Being late, not coming to take her somewhere on her time schedule. But now that’s she’s gone, I miss her more than I ever thought possible.”

One way that many caregivers say they deal with angry or even abusive talk is to realize it’s often not about them. “One thing I realized too late was how fearful my mother was, of everything, all her life. And the illness she had scared her so much, she struck out at the person who was always there for her, which was me,” Tubbs Hill says. “I wish I had known how to handle it better, but I didn’t.”

“It helped me to talk to her doctors and understand what the disease was doing to her, as well as the effects of her medications,” she says. One Alzheimer’s drug in particular, she feels, was responsible for her mother’s lashing out. “You can realize you love them, but you don’t necessarily like them very much. And you certainly don’t like the things they do.”

Caring for a Loved One Who Never Says Thank You
Some people are grateful for help as they get older, and some take that care for granted, or are angry and resentful that they need help at all. That’s the reality of the situation, as many members of Caring.com are quick to acknowledge.

“I took my mother in and cared for her for three years, and the sad part is that she was never happy,” says one anonymous Caring.com community member. “Nothing I did ever satisfied her.” After a fall sent her mother to a nursing home, the care and attention seemed to please her for awhile, but it soon wore off. “Now she’s no happier than she was in my home. The moral of the story: some people aren’t going to be happy no matter where they are.”

Your Loved One’s Ingratitude Is Their Failing, Not Yours
The secret to dealing with lack of appreciation and avoiding resentment, caregivers say, is to understand that your loved one’s ingratitude is their failing, not yours. “I came to realize that while I was devoting my life to her, she wasn’t going to like, love, or approve of me any more than she ever had,” says one Caring.com community member. “She didn’t see my taking care of her as a big deal, and I started to see how little she valued what I was giving her.” It took time, she says, but in the end she learned a valuable life lesson. “What Mom gave me was the perspective that her inability to love and approve of me was about her, not about me.”

Several years out from her mother’s death, Barbara says she’s only now making peace with everything that happened. “I didn’t realize how much anger and hurt I had stored inside me until after she died,” Barbara says. Working with a counselor helped her lay those feelings to rest and get some closure.

“Counseling helped me realize I really had done everything I could to help her,” Barbara says. “And it helped me to remember what my mother was really like; she wasn’t a bad person, it was the illness and her fear that made her act like that. I won’t ever be able to forget all the terrible things that were said to me, but I know the person saying them was not the mother I had known and cared about. “

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This article was originally published on Caring.com. Read the original article here.

More Resources from Caring.com

• Caring for a Difficult Older Adult
• How Caring for a Parent is a Special Kind of Care
• Caring for Elderly Relatives: How to Handle Family Conflict

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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You weren’t born hating your body. You weren’t born sexually numb with low libido. You weren’t born with shame around your genitals. You were born naked.

As a young child before pleasure and self-exploration was shamed and cultured out of you, you found delight, curiosity and pleasure in your body. You weren’t born thinking you were fat or that you had a funny belly or a big ass or any of the stories that might be filling your head. You didn’t call yourself names like “Dumpy.”

You were born beautiful and delighted in your body. You weren’t born being frightened of your sensuous nature; you were taught to close it down because the adults, community, media messages and religious structures in your life controlled you. All of these “adults in power” fed you messages that taught you to fear your body and sexual shame.

You weren’t born being frightened of sexual orientation, or even understanding gender roles. You were not born dieting or restricting pleasure. You asked for cookies, touch and all kinds of pleasure as easily as you took air in and out of your body.

You were carefully taught that in order to be accepted and loved and to have a good life you needed to cloak your body, change your body, control you desires and hide your core erotic being. You weren’t taught consent, you were taught to endure, pretend and hide. You may have been trusted in every area of your life by the adults around you except in the area of your sexuality. You learned that this part of your life needed to be controlled and carefully monitored.

We are all in recovery.

Blaming our parents, the adults around us as we were growing up, our religious institutions and government leaders as they are now is useless. How does that really support you right now in your life? Blame gets you nothing; understanding and taking action does. It’s important to remember that the people around us were raised in the culture you were raised in. What they taught you, they taught you out of fear, and out of doing the right thing. The people who cultured us out of body confidence and our sexuality thought they were teaching us to fit in and be “good people.”

The work of erotic recovery is yours. It’s reaching back for what you were born with — your own authentic erotic being. This is what I mean by “erotic mastery.”

It’s a reclaiming of who you were at birth before the culture got hold of you and your erotic being. If you decide that you want to reclaim what was taken from you as your birth right — you can. It takes courage and practice. It involves letting go of historical myths that you may be holding, as well as learning how to love our erotic and physical selves again.

I believe that this is how we will change and heal the world. We need to change us, this new set of adults, which will help us recover our light. If we become this new light of body positive and self-loving beings, we will be able to raise and/or influence children who will teach their children a different way of being.

We get to choose. Do we want to live a life where we cultivate a life of reclaiming our given right to loving self-acceptance, creativity and pleasure? Or do we want to live in an historic past that haunts us with self-doubt, shame, self-hatred and the judgement of others?

When you choose to recover your sexuality and body confidence, you will help heal not only yourself, but also you will help heal the world.

Pamela Madsen runs retreats around the country to help women re-connect to their bodies and sensuous nature and is author of the book; “Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner” (Rodale 2011).

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

— This feed and its contents are the property of The Huffington Post, and use is subject to our terms. It may be used for personal consumption, but may not be distributed on a website.