Hasta La Gadget!

This article was written by Jennifer Fitzgerald, CEO of PolicyGenius.

“Unicorn” is the phrase of the day in Silicon Valley, Silicon Alley, or anywhere in between where you choose to launch your startup. Everyone wants to be a billion-dollar company, to be the envy of investors who took a pass, fellow startups who got bigger headlines, and legacy players who are too stuck in their ways to evolve their industry.

And very few companies will get there. Sure, a lot of business models can’t go the distance. But in a lot of cases founders will quit long before then.

The road to a large and successful company is hard, as HBO’s Silicon Valley shows us (with shocking-if-hilarious accuracy). Along the way you’ll find a lot of reasons to pack it all in and go back to a suit-and-cubicle world.

But founders who find some insight and even a little humor in the bumps in the road are the ones who might survive to tell the tale. Here are the three rough patches every startup founder faces that make them feel like calling it quits.

10,000 “Nos” when all you want is a “Yes”

Every startup founder wants to disrupt an industry. That’s led to a “go big or go home” mentality where you aim higher and higher with bigger and bigger plans.

Then you get to pitch this big idea – this thing you’ve put so much time into with the prospect of turning the establishment on its head – to investors, and you get a firm, “No.”

If you’re a pessimist, that can get you down. If you’re a glass-half-full type of person, you’ll be happy to know that you shouldn’t take it personally, because you’ll get a lot more “Nos” before you get your first “Yes”.

To be clear: raising capital is a pain. It’s a slog to go into boardroom after boardroom, get excited, make your pitch, and be rejected, especially the first time you do it when you’re relying more on projections and visions than actual results. You’re having to sell your business long before you’ll do so to customers.

That’s assuming you can get your foot in the door to make your pitch at all.

What can help?

• Having a full arsenal when you’re pitching to VCs.
• Understanding what metrics investors want to see before you step into the room.
• Practicing with low-stakes investors before moving to your real targets.
• Relying on stories more than slides

Whatever you do, don’t lose perspective about what’s at stake: the future of your company.

When my cofounder and I were starting to raise money for PolicyGenius, we couldn’t get investors to punch us in the face, never mind invest in us. That slowly changed after we established ourselves and were able to raise a successful Series B round of funding, but it took a lot of grit and rejection, along with some promising business growth, to get there.

When the wheels fall off the bus

So if pitching your product to investors is the hard part, actually bringing it to market must be easy, right?

Of course not, because every part of running a startup is “the hard part” and your product’s first contact with the market comes with its own set of unique challenges.

When you release your product, which has been carefully tested in relatively controlled environments, into the wild, there can be unexpected results. Your site will crash and you’ll lose consumers’ already-short attention; in a classic case of a humblebrag, your operations team can’t manage the volume that comes and you leave a lot of revenue on the table; you end up with lots of negative feedback, which can be a death sentence in a world where customers make purchasing decisions one review star at a time.

Murphy’s Law states that “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” Launching your product pretty much feels like you can substitute “Murphy” with your company’s name.

You might find yourself scrambling to put out fires, and that’s fine. If you released your product and didn’t encounter any issues, it’s either perfect (which, let’s be honest, isn’t the case) or you didn’t push the envelope far enough to really battle-test it. I’ve spoken to numerous founders and every single one of them has a “wheels falling off the bus” story early on in their company’s life. So the question is: can you as a business leader move a 3-wheeled bus and fix it at the same time?

Deep in the Trough of Sorrow

Calling something the “Trough of Sorrow” doesn’t leave much to the imagination, does it? And make no mistake, it lives up to its name.

Image: Forbes

Take a quick look at the Trough of Sorrow, a phrase coined by Y-Combinator’s Paul Graham, in the chart, and you can see how it goes. You launch your company into the world, get some good press in a publication like TechCrunch or TheNextWeb or FastCompany, and things are looking good. Then the initial press halo fades and you need to figure out what to do next to actually grow this business.

There’s a saying in sports that “winning solves everything.” When a team is losing, every headline is about how a superstar player resents his supporting cast, how the front office doesn’t agree with anything the head coach is doing, why isn’t X working, why aren’t they trying Y, and so on. But when a team starts winning, all of that goes away even if none of the underlying problems have been solved.

The same is true in a startup. When you’re in the exciting phase of strategizing and building and promoting, and the numbers keep ticking up, everything is good. But inevitably you’ll hit the Trough of Sorrow. Channels dry up. The needle stops moving (or moves in the wrong direction). Your candidate pipeline feels like a clown show on loop. You lose a big contract that you spent months nurturing. An important employee quits. And chances are, all of this might happen at the same time.

So you’ll probably think about quitting.

There’s no telling when – or if – you’ll climb out of the Trough of Sorrow. You’ll need to make your own decision about whether or not it’s worth seeing things through and trying to create something viable to make it to that Promised Land. The AirBnB founding team has a classic story about how they pushed through the Trough of Sorrow. But make no mistake about it: you will eventually face the Trough of Sorrow, and it takes luck, grit, and smart decisions to fight your way out.

I’ll leave you with one last saying: nothing worth having comes easy. Is there anything more satisfying than seeing your business get off the ground and become a success? Maybe having a child, but in its own way your startup is like your child. Except it’ll hopefully make you money instead of costing you $250,000 until it goes to college.

PolicyGenius is my child, and I don’t expect it to get any easier; just like children grow from temper tantrum-filled children to moody teenagers, different problems will continue to pop up. But it wasn’t too long ago that PolicyGenius was a five person team working in a three person office. Over the past two years, my cofounder and I have built it into a growing company with 20% month-over-month growth and more than $21 million in funding in spite of – or even because of – the moments where I wanted to quit.

It’s hard, and having a roadmap from entrepreneurs who have gone through it before certainly won’t allow you to avoid every speed bump. But at least you’ll be able to see them coming. When you do, you’ll know to brace yourself, course-correct, and prepare for the next one.

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I recently read an interview (more like a Q&A) with author, Elizabeth Gilbert, in The New York Times In Transit section. Now while I wasn’t one of those readers who went insanely gaga over EAT, PRAY, LOVE, I was inspired by her latest work, BIG MAGIC.

All of this aside, I was taken aback by her response to the columnist’s question about whether she had met people who started traveling later in life. This was EG’s answer.

“My mother, for one! She was 55, and finally had the freedom and the means, and she woke up to the reality that my dad’s not a traveler. Now she and her sister-in-law do a trip every year. They’ve been to Chile, Turkey, Thailand, up the Amazon River. They’re really adventurous. 50 is the age women start to become invisible, but the flip side of that is: Invisibility is a super power — it makes them safer to travel.”

I had to catch my breath. Invisible? Was she shitting me? It’s bad enough that profound and obvious ageism exists in this country, er, world, and that women are practically shamed for getting older, losing estrogen, collagen, ass mass, and their lovers, boyfriend’s and husbands to younger models, but EG, a woman whom other women look up to, tells Diane Daniel of The New York Times, hey, women disappear starting at 50, but it’s okay, because now they can travel safely to war torn Syria because no one will notice them? It’s a win-win.

Hey, maybe that’s how we fight terrorism. Let’s send a shit ton of 50-, 60- and 70-year-old women, into Iraq, Nigeria and Lebanon. They’ll fly under the radar and then hit them with a surprise attack and take out the top leaders thus defeating militant groups around the world. Fuck drones, send in the old ladies.

And how is invisibility in the real world, not in the D.C. Comics world, a superpower? I hope that three years from now, when EG starts becoming invisible that she feels powerful. Me? I prefer to serve up my super powers front and center, with klieg lights spotlighting my fifty self; seen, visible and loud.

Perhaps I’m overreacting. Perhaps I misunderstood her comment. Perhaps I’m taking it personally, as 50 gracefully saunters up to my doorstep. I just don’t think that we ever need women, or men, (I’m an equal opportunist) to feel, in any way, shape or form, that they’re going to blend in with the scenery once they hit the big 5-0.

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There are people from the South, and then there are Southerners, people who revel in the history, charm, and utter originality of Dixieland.

People who understand manners. People who know how to charm one second, and cut you dead with a Scarlett O’Hara side stare the next. People who don’t complain about the heat, because they carry linen hankies and chic hand fans.

One of these people, I’m happy to report, is me. Another is the writer and journalist Julia Reed, whose work I’ve been enthusiastically following since she wrote political profiles for Vogue.

Now you can catch her columns in Garden & Gun (required reading for any self-respecting belle or beau), and her books, the latest of which is Julia Reed’s South: Spirited Entertaining and High-Style Fun All Year Long.

“Long before farm to table was a thing, we were just doing it,” she explained in Washington for a luncheon at Tudor Place to talk about her book.

There are lots of other things we have just been “doing” long before they became fashionable. Here’s more of her country-fried wisdom, perfect for summer entertaining:

1. The warmer months afford more excuses to dip into the spirits. Julia’s go-to is her prized family Sangria recipe. “Keep drinking it and you won’t even know you’re hot.” My favorites are Julia’s Creole-inspired “Pimm’s Royale” (Pimm’s No. 1, Brut Champagne, cucumber, and orange and lime slices), and the Lavender Mint Lemonade (add Vodka at your discretion). Another spirited piece of advice: “Champagne loves two things in food: salt and fat.” So don’t think twice about serving your best champagne with fried chicken and ham biscuits. It turns out they are a perfect match!

2. Want to impress your Yankee guests? Keep it simple with soul-food favorites. “Make that cheese thing with the vegetables,” one of her dazzled dinner guests requested, referring to her cornbread. Her parties in New York were hot tickets thanks to “simply making the stuff we know best, from pimento cheese sandwiches, squash casseroles, and rare beef tenderloin with warm yeast rolls.” According to her book, you can top those off with okra fritters, sliced heirloom tomatoes, and blackberry cobbler for the perfect summertime supper. Just don’t forget the feminine touches like wildflowers in mason jars, grandma’s china, and pastel table linens. Julia likes to decorate the table with the high and low, everything from dainty decanters to finds from the local flea market. Get creative with the place cards.

3. If it’s Summer, it’s Tomato Time, or “Tomato Palooza.” Julia’s gazpacho with tomato sherbet was a classic at a country club in Nashville, and she passed along to her friend the late Nora Ephron, who in turn served it to satisfied guests in the Hamptons. “This is an amazingly refreshing dish for a hot day,” Julia says. She also loves her tomato tarte tatin recipe and pairing sliced chicken breast with tomato vinaigrette. Oh, and tomato goes swimmingly with rose, “the twin totems of summer to me,” she says. “The wine’s color is made for a tomato lovefest, but so is the taste.”

4. Country Music is the Soundtrack of Summer. Julia suggests that no barbeque or al fresco soiree is the same without a good playlist. Some of her favorites are “Walking the Dog” by Bonnie Raitt and Weepin’ Willie Robinson, “Summertime” by Janie Joplin, and “Fried Chicken,” by Eden Brent, a fellow Mississippian.

5. It’s all about the Porch, or Veranda. If you don’t have a summer party to attend or throw, just head to the porch, every southerner’s happy place. Just don’t forget the glass of lemonade, a Eudora Welty novel, and your sun hat. You’re all set, all summer long.

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This simple no-cook vegan dessert recipe can be whipped up in a matter of minutes and will satisfy even the most discerning sweet tooth!

It was the “go to” snack for my children when they were young — and it remains to be a family favorite! Need I say more? And yes, this vegan dessert tastes as rich as velvety French mousse.

For chocolate lovers, consider using a good quality cocoa powder. Cocoa powder is made by removing the fat (cocoa butter) from bitter chocolate and powdering the remaining material. Using cocoa powder is a great way to get the benefits of cocoa flavonoids without the saturated fat calories from cocoa butter, found in chocolate. Flavonoids are a class of phytochemicals that may have a role in lowering blood pressure.

Layne’s Velvety Vegan Chocolate Tofu Mousse Recipe

Choose organic ingredients when available:

• 1 banana, broken into chunks
• 12 ounces firm tofu, silken preferred
• 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
• 2 tablespoons black strap molasses
• 5 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
• 3 tablespoons organic soymilk
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

In a blender, combine all ingredients, cover and puree until smooth. Pour into individual ramekins and refrigerate for at least one hour before serving.

Serves 4.

Nutrition facts per serving (163 grams): 188 calories, 4.8 grams fat, 23 milligrams sodium, 33.4 grams carbohydrate, 3.9 grams dietary fiber, 9 grams protein, 22% daily value for calcium, 18% daily value for iron.

This recipe is adapted from my award winning lifestyle and cook book Beyond The Mediterranean Diet: European Secrets Of The Super-Healthy, by Layne Lieberman, MS, RD, CDN. 

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Co-authored by Rachel Anspach

This week, as we mark the one year anniversary of the Charleston massacre, the country is reeling from another mass killing rooted in hatred. One week ago, Omar Mateen opened fire in Pulse, a queer club in Orlando, killing 49 and wounding 53 as they celebrated Latinx Night. Clearly, as a country we have failed to deeply or meaningfully grapple with the realities of racism, patriarchy, homophobia and hate in America.

During the twelve months bookended by the massacres in Charleston and Orlando, terrifying acts of racialized and gender violence have followed one after another. We have seen former Oklahoma City Police Officer Daniel Holtzclaw’s trial for serial sexual assault of vulnerable Black women in the course of duty. We have learned about Brock Turner, the white Stanford student who received a six-month jail sentence for brutally raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster due to the judge’s concern that a longer sentence would have a “severe impact” on the swim team star. We watched as Jasmine Richards, a Black Lives Matter activist, received a prison sentence eight times the length of Turner’s after being convicted of a felony lynching for interfering with a protest related arrest. We’ve seen cops continue to kill men, women and children of color with impunity, and time and time again, not face any legal consequences for doing so.

And now we have seen Orlando.

It’s hard not to feel hopeless in the wake of what we have witnessed. It’s hard to feel like anything we can do will make a difference.

As white feminists, maybe a first step can be acknowledging and speaking with each other about the ways we are implicated in the racist patriarchy that gave rise to what happened on Charleston, in Oklahoma City and in Orlando.

“You rape our women, and you’re taking over our country, and you have to go.” These are the words that Dylann Roof reportedly uttered before opening fire on churchgoers at the historically Black Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina on June 17, 2015, killing nine parishioners in the midst of bible study. Roof’s disturbing manifesto was predicated upon both racism and patriarchy, and his words and actions serve as a harsh reminder that in order to root out oppression and violence, we must combat multiple bases for marginalization at the same time. Despite this claims of protecting white women from Black men, most of Roof’s victims were Black women.

As members of the queer community, we can insist that our movement centers those who are most targeted by society — people of color, trans and gender nonconforming folks, undocumented folks, those living in poverty — the subsets of our community living in the crosshairs of multiple oppressive systems.

We must be willing to acknowledge that while the shooting at Pulse is deeply upsetting to the LGBTQ community as a whole, it is queer people of color, those targeted by the attack, who will feel its aftershocks most acutely. Where will undocumented queer folks find safety, now that Pride events and gay clubs are being so heavily policed? Where will Muslim queer folks find safety, now that they are being criminalized and pitted against the rest of the LGBTQ community by the media? Where will Black queer folks find safety, knowing that presumptive safe havens from white supremacy such as Black churches and clubs for queer people of color have both been the sites of racialized terror in the past year, and are now more heavily policed than ever?

Without intersectionality — a concept coined by Kimberle Crenshaw to describe the ways in which multiple facets of our identities overlap to give rise to unique forms of marginalization — we fall into the danger of erasing those who are most impacted by the tragedies from the narrative.

Last Tuesday, Representative Pete Sessions (R-TX) was quoted as saying that Pulse was not a gay club because most of the Orlando victims were Latinx. “It was a young person’s nightclub, I’m told. And there were some [LGBTQ people] there, but it was mostly Latinos.” Sessions’ failure to recognize that individuals can identify as both queer and Latinx is a prime example of intersectional erasure. While his statement was blatantly ludicrous, the underlying failure to acknowledge that this tragedy specifically targeted queer and trans people of color has been reinforced by mainstream media and politicians across the political spectrum.

This erasure is dangerous. It divides marginalized groups and serves to distract attention from the root causes of American violence and inequality. It’s up to us to counter this narrative. Silence in the face of the status quo is complicity. As the death toll of those killed by white supremacy, toxic masculinity and homophobic hate continues to mount every day, we cannot afford to be silent.

It is urgent that we repudiate all violent, hate-filled actions and rhetoric being undertaken to protect our (perceived) way of life, whether that be enacting violence against Black people for the sake of “protecting” white womanhood or waging a war against the Islamic faith for the sake of defending the LGBTQ community. We call on fellow white people to join us in insisting on a movement that acknowledges and grapples with the overlapping layers of institutional oppression and hate-based violence, and that amplifies the voices of those who are too often silenced by society.

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