Jimmy John's To Get Rid Of Controversial Noncompete Agreements In New York

If your career at Jimmy John’s comes to a premature end, rest assured you’ll have the right to make sandwiches somewhere else in town — at least in New York.

The Illinois-based sandwich chain will remove noncompete agreements from hiring packets for new store employees after reaching a settlement with New York State announced on Wednesday. The Huffington Post first reported about the agreements with low-level employees requiring them to give up the right to work at a competitor for a two-year period after leaving Jimmy John’s.

The company defined a “competing” sandwich seller as any business that derives 10 percent or more of its revenue from the sale of sandwiches and that resides within 3 miles of a Jimmy John’s location. The firm has roughly 2,000 restaurants. If enforced, the clause would effectively bar a former Jimmy John’s employee from working at restaurants or delis in entire cities around the U.S.

“Noncompete agreements for low-wage workers are unconscionable,” New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, who brokered the settlement, said in a statement. “They limit mobility and opportunity for vulnerable workers and bully them into staying with the threat of being sued. Companies should stop using these agreements for minimum wage employees.”

Executing the noncompete agreement was left at the discretion of individual franchisees, but the clauses were included in hiring packets that Jimmy John’s corporate distributed. The packets will no longer include the noncompete language, and franchisees will be voiding any existing agreements with low-level workers, according to Schneiderman.

Jimmy John’s said in a statement that it was happy to reach a settlement. The company said it would not support the enforcement of a noncompete on store employees. “We value the [attorney general’s] professionalism throughout this matter, and appreciate the opportunity to have worked together,” the company said.

Jimmy John’s faced scrutiny from Congress and state regulators and the company was mocked following revelations of the agreements in 2014. Noncompetes have traditionally been reserved for high-ranking executives or employees who hold onto trade secrets, to prevent them from taking insider corporate knowledge to a competitor. Sandwich makers and delivery drivers earning close to minimum wage pose no such threat.

But by forbidding them to work at other sandwich shops, Jimmy John’s could effectively suppress their wages, preventing them from taking their work to the highest bidder. And though it’s unlikely such a noncompete would hold up in court, many workers may not have the wherewithal to challenge it legally.

That’s why the proliferation of noncompete agreements concerns many legal experts and worker advocates. As HuffPost previously reported, even low-wage dog sitters have been required to agree to such clauses.

Jimmy John’s agreement is solely with New York State. The company has not said whether it will remove noncompete agreements from hiring packets for new store employees elsewhere in the US.

New York State allows noncompete agreements only under particular circumstances. These were not met in Jimmy John’s case. according to Schneiderman. The New York attorney general reached a similar agreement last week with the news service Law360, which agreed to drop its noncompetes.

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4 Reasons Why Alternative Financing Is The New Preferred Option For SBOs

The financial landscape is constantly changing. For small businesses that are strapped for cash, keeping up with these fluid trends and developments can almost feel like a full time job. And, while you should never count out traditional financing methods, the reality is that many entrepreneurs and small business owners are turning to alternative financing in 2016. Should you do the same?

What is Alternative Financing?

When most business owners think about financing and funding, they immediately assume that the process involves walking into their bank, answering a few questions, and signing some paperwork. Unfortunately, it’s not always this easy.

If you’re a new business owner or someone who doesn’t look good on paper, then you’re going to find it nearly impossible to obtain a traditional business loan from a bank. In most cases, any of the following could prevent you from getting a loan:

  • You’ve been in business for less than two years
  • You have a credit score below 640
  • You need less than 250,000

These three issues are enough to disqualify a large portion of loan-seeking business owners immediately. And, even if you check out on these three qualifiers, you still have to follow through with a meticulous process that requires you to jump through a number of additional hoops. By some estimates, traditional banks decline up to 80 percent of small business loan applications.

This is where alternative lenders come into play. These lenders help to fill the void for the 80 percent of small business owners who can’t qualify for traditional loans. Because alternative lenders aren’t forced to follow the rules and requirements laid out by financial institutions and regulatory bodies, they’re able to pick and choose how much they want to lend and who can borrow. It’s a much smoother process that’s based more on merit and need than “checking off” the right boxes.

Whether you need financing to fund a startup, launch a new product, purchase equipment, expand an existing business, or anything in between, alternative financing is here to help.

The Four Major Benefits of Alternative Financing

Now that you understand exactly what alternative financing is and how it fits into the financial landscape, let’s take a look at a few of the major benefits. In other words, why are business owners turning to alternative lending as the answer to traditional lending?

1. Less Stringent Qualifications

As mentioned, it’s easier to receive an alternative loan. You still have to prove that you’re responsible enough to repay the amount, but it’s much more fair and balanced than the traditional process.

“Because non-traditional forms of determining credit worthiness are used, often in conjunction with credit reports, lenders can get a comprehensive financial footprint of a borrower that goes beyond credit history,” says business expert Kevin Jiang. “As a result, alternative financing is seen by many as being more balanced and fair in terms of making loan decisions.”

2. Abundance of Options

Traditional banks prefer to give out business loans of $200,000 or more. They simply don’t consider anything less to be worth their time or money. Unfortunately, this means that you’re out of luck if you need small amounts of cash at different times.

“Most urgent business financial requirements call for short-term cash infusions,” National Business Capital, a leader in alternative lending, explains to clients. “That is where a business line of credit is the best financing vehicle.”

A business line of credit allows the borrower only to make payments based on the amount of money borrowed. This self-pacing nature of the line of credit makes it much more ideal for small businesses that tend to have random expenses pop up with short notice.

If you’re meeting with a traditional banker, not only is it hard to qualify, but also if you qualify, you’ll most likely only have access to a traditional loan. This is just another reason why alternative lending is preferred. There are an abundance of investment vessels and packages from which to choose.

3. Lower Interest Rates

Once again, the bureaucratic nature of banks and traditional lending sources means that there’s little flexibility in terms of interest rates. On the other hand, the alternative lending market is competitive, which ultimately drives interest rates down for borrowers.

“Because alternative lenders typically have access to a more comprehensive profile of borrowers, they can offer lower interest rates for loans compared to traditional financial institutions,” says Jiang. “Having more comprehensive information about the applicant helps manage risk, as lenders can more accurately determine the likelihood that someone will repay their loan.”

4. Faster Approval Process

Banks and credit unions are notorious for having long approval processes. Multiple sets of eyes have to review every application, which can draw the process out for weeks or months. This obviously isn’t ideal when you need quick funding.

Meanwhile, alternative lenders — especially those who operate online — can sometimes approve an application within hours. At the very least, you should be able to obtain approval during the same week you apply. This makes alternative lending a no-brainer.

Common Types of Alternative Financing

As mentioned, there are many different financing options in the alternative marketplace, and with more being added each month, it’s impossible to present a comprehensive list. However, these are a few of the most common:

  • Microloans. If you have a really small need, a microloan may be the best solution. These short term loans are typically no more than25,000 and tend to be spread out over five years. There are tons of micro-lenders willing to lend, so you shouldn’t have much difficulty finding funds.
  • Crowdfunding. Over the past few years, crowdfunding has become a massive resource for alternative lending. There are two primary types: standard crowdfunding and equity crowdfunding. The first doesn’t require you to give much in return, while the latter obviously requires you to forgo equity in return for funding.
  • Merchant cash advance. For businesses that are doing well but are having cash flow issues, merchant cash advances can help. This form of alternative financing is based on future credit card sales and transactions. The lender actually purchases some of the business’ future credit card receipts and uses this as collateral for the loan.
  • Peer-to-peer. As alternative lending grows in popularity on the Internet, more and more peer-to-peer networks have popped up. These lending solutions act a lot like social networks and allow individuals to fund other individuals.

There are dozens of other types of alternative financing; these just happen to be four of the most common. As a small business owner, understanding your options allows you to see just how creative you can get.

Consider All of Your Options

Regardless of what the Small Business Administration, banks, credit unions, and other financial bodies try to tell small business owners, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to obtain traditional loans. The money simply isn’t flowing like it used to. And, if you’re lucky enough to get approved, the terms aren’t very attractive.

Thankfully, new forms of alternative financing have risen. Make sure that you consider your options and meticulously compare the pros and cons of each. You’ll likely find that alternative financing is your best option in 2016.

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Christine And The Queens: Powerful, Liberated And 'Obsessed'

“I’m just drawn to hands,” she told me as she gazed down at the rings adorning her fingers. “Obsessed” even, she added. She loves how such a “weird tool” can be utilized, either seamlessly accompanying a conversation or acting as inelegant, awkward “claws.”

Hailing from France and standing no taller than 5-foot-nothing, her name is Héloïse Letissier. She’s a 28-year-old pop singer who has been performing in France under the name Christine and the Queens since 2011. Last year, she broke into the U.S. market with her EP “Saint Claude” and most recently with her eponymous debut album in October.

Letissier’s obsessions don’t stop with hands, though. As someone who for years struggled to fit into traditional binaries of male and female, gay and straight, Letissier has become fixated on subverting gender, identity and sexuality. She struggled to make sense of her own kaleidoscopic self until she found a solution in “Christine,” an alter ego she created whose sole mission is to give any and all of your expectations the bird.

I can play the game. I can play with gender. I can play with my identity and I can own everything.

“I constantly felt like I had to fit the standards that I couldn’t or wouldn’t want to fit,” she said. “And I didn’t recognize myself in the magazines and I didn’t recognize myself … on the TV and I didn’t, I couldn’t relate with other people in high school because … I always felt like something was not clicking. Or like I was not what they expected me to be.”

Even though she said her childhood was “happy and simple,” her prolonged sense of feeling misunderstood became a rocky depression that hit when she was 22 years old. Looking for inspiration and a way out, she went to London and stumbled into the now-closed drag club Madame JoJo’s. She met a group of drag queens who took her under their wing, exposing her to queer culture and the nuances of one’s identity. They encouraged her to use music to explore herself.

As a young girl, I actually felt really liberated by [the drag queens],” Letissier told HuffPost’s Alex Miranda in an interview earlier this month. “And I think for the first time I was like, ‘Oh, so actually this is all a game. I can play the game. I can play with gender. I can play with my identity and I can own everything and decide not to choose and not to tick any boxes.” 

Thus, Christine and the Queens was born the moment Letissier, who uses the “she” pronoun, decided “to own everything that I was ashamed of before,” she told Miranda. She now stands proud as an outspoken feminist, pansexual, queer woman. Or man, depending on the day, because, to her, gender is merely a learned, malleable construct.  

“The character I’ve created, Christine, is mainly the first attempt for me to escape all the secret injunctions we have as girls all the time,” she told Miranda. “Like be pretty but be polite. Don’t take too much space. All those things that didn’t mean anything to me. I just decided to turn them around with my character. So I’m going to take some space, I’m going to be rough. I’m going to not be polite.”

Per the Queens’ suggestion, she started writing and producing freak pop to disentangle and liberate her mind. Her album weaves in and out of English, French, pop, house, electronic and subtle bass, leaving us with an infectious, dance-inspiring blend. She also dabbles in covers, unexpectedly (and thankfully) including Techtronic’s “Pump Up The Jam” in her repertoire.

Two of Letissier’s most popular songs on the album, “Tilted” and “iT” — the latter of which repeats the words “I’m a man now” — are about living between boundaries. Her lyrics insist that regardless of being female-bodied, she can assume the role of a man as she pleases.

“If I want to say I’m a man for three minutes, then be it, I’m a man for three minutes,” she told Miranda, adding, “It has to do, again, with this will I had and I still have to take a man’s place like, ‘OK, I’m in charge now.’ I’m a boss because as a girl it’s impossible for me to be who I want to be yet in this society. So [it] is this tragic desire for me to take this space I can’t have yet.”

Now when Christine assumes a stage as the Queen among a court of tall, androgynous, male dancers, she sports some combination of slacks, oxford shoes, sneakers, suits, blazers and T-shirts. No boob-flaunting. No butt-bouncing. Just her with her tiny frame, exposed ankles (non-negotiable for her), flowy hair and enviable dance moves that hint Michael Jackson might be moonwalking through her very veins. In rejecting the over-sexualized agenda often assumed of female artists, Letissier is redefining sex appeal, insisting that her existence and talent alone are deserving of attention. And they are. Even Madonna is noticing.

As a testament to what freedom from society’s heteronormative chains looks like, Letissier is encouraging us — regardless of whether we’re in the LGBTQ community — to question ourselves. But she’s also expressing the person she needed most as a little girl who lacked a “diversity of people.” By being vocal and inviting us to play along, it’s like she’s shielding us from the pain she endured in feeling misunderstood.

“Everyone can have a ‘Christine moment’ as well,” she told Miranda. “This is what I like about it. It can be contagious … It’s all about being daring and just letting go, and this is something that doesn’t happen to me when I’m offstage. I just shrink back to my little self.”

As the child of two social workers, I was curious how Letissier weaves in and out of these two identities: a shy but bold Letissier offstage who has a tendency to blush, and an intoxicating, wild Christine onstage springing across the floor as a transcendent artist.

If I want to say I’m a man for three minutes then be it, I’m a man for three minutes.

She assured me that she’s not navigating multiple personalities. Rather she’s giving a name to a side of her – the “best part of me,” she said — that, for so long, felt choked.

It’s not just through her music and persona as Christine that Letissier is attempting to help us expand. She’s more direct than that. At Governors Ball a few weeks ago, she held up three flowers she found onstage high in the sky: two blossoms she named Beyoncé and Rihanna and a wilted one that she said was herself.

“I’m here, and I get to be part of the same bouquet,” she shouted out. She went on to explain that life is like a bouquet, full of different kinds of valuable, beautiful flowers. These small reminders in her shows are typical.

But she cautioned against just having conversations about needing to make room for more complex identities. Instead, “we have to act,” she told Miranda. “So humbly what I can do is just point things [out],” she said. “As an artist, you can just be a testimony so you have to make things be seen.”

As Christine and the Queens expands internationally — her debut album was released in the UK this past February and recently shot to No. 1 on iTunes — I wonder if her presence as this free energy would have been as well-received even five years ago. Tegan and Sara, Peaches and Melissa Etheridge are just some of the few mainstream-ish women operating in a similar way, who’ve been at this for a while. Even as society becomes more accepting of the LGBTQ community, the music industry is still lacking more openly queer musicians. 

So it’ll be interesting to see how Letissier’s career unfolds. Her music alone could propel her success. But as an artist working to transform society, the extent of her fame could be a mirror of what the world is ready for. Lucky for us, she’s “plotting” her next album as she continues to follow the likes of David Bowie, Prince, Lady Gaga and Freddie Mercury in reminding us how colorful this world can, and should, be.

At the end of our chat, I asked Letissier what life would be like had she not found Christine. “I have no idea,” she said. “I don’t want to sound overly [dramatic] but probably not good. I mean, she arrived as a solution.”

As we shook hands, I remembered her fascination and wondered how she perceived my grip. Usually my fingernails are painted to hide their mannishness. But if I were to choose a day to go au naturel, I’m glad it was the day I met Letissier. Because I am who I am, mannish hands and all, and she is who she is — a person motivated by giving us a divine, musical experience and, perhaps, a transformative moment.

Watch Letissier’s interview with Alex Miranda below.

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Could This Be The Secret To Better Sleep

We’re all familiar with the feeling of early morning dread that results from a night of tossing and turning, meticulously counting the hours of rest that could be obtained if you were just able to fall asleep now and the incessant frustration that comes after yet another night of bad sleep.

Most of us, however, will go about our daily routines without much of a second thought, poor sleep has become habit and something we rarely question. The ability to function, however grouchy we may feel, has let a good night’s sleep fall further and further down the scale of importance and said feelings of grouchiness and lethargy are something we accept on a daily basis.

There’s no questioning how crucial sleep is to wellbeing, you only have to type the word into Google to reveal countless risks ranging from the less serious fatigue, to bloating, weight gain and more serious health issues such as cancer, heart disease and depression associated with poor sleep. To counter, the innumerate benefits of regular, quality sleep are equally easy to find; brighter skin, increased productivity, better cognitive function, reduced risk of said diseases and an overall feeling of greater wellbeing (with the added benefit of not falling asleep at your desk come 4.00pm slump).

It’s not all a battle between good and bad, potential ways to improve sleep are just as widely available. From the obvious no caffeine after midday, no technology before bed (and ultimately no fun) to the more quirky curling and uncurling your toes and inhaling only through your left nostril (thanks, Daily Mirror) the possibilities are quite literally endless.

But now, thankfully, it seems like there might actually be a scientifically proven solution to our bedtime woes, and it all lies with our bedding.

Recent research released by Leeds University suggests that the bedding we choose could be the secret to a guaranteed good night’s sleep.

It’s all down to moisture management. According to research conducted by The Wool Room, the retailer who actually commissioned the University study, over a third of Brits attribute poor sleep to being too hot at night and it is this build-up of heat and subsequent sweating that is the most common reason for waking during the night, particularly during crucial stage 4 regenerative sleep between 2am – 5am.
The university used pioneering technology to mimic the effects of sleeping in a laboratory, testing three of the most popular types of bedding – polyester, down feather and wool.

Wool appeared to sweep the board, allowing more moisture to escape from its fibres than either of the other two (43% more than polyester and 67% more than feather / down to be exact). So in layman’s terms, wool is better at wicking away moisture from our sweaty selves during the night, keeping our temperatures at optimum levels and preventing us waking, what could be better?!

One of the best parts about this is that out of the three tested wool is the most natural fibre, meaning you’re probably sleeping in less chemicals and something much more organic than synthetic fibres or even feathers. Having checked out The Wool Room’s website, they profess that their bedding can be traced back to the farm and even the sheep that it comes from which is another definite plus.

Who knew sheep could be so useful?!

The ins and outs of the research can be found here.

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Families Shouldn't Have to Choose Between Child Care and Enough Food to Eat

By Thomas Kennedy

Paola Calvo had to choose between taking care of her 10-month old child and going hungry.

She went hungry.

She and her partner were giddy with excitement about the birth of their first child Sebastian, but they hadn’t anticipated he’d be born with a cleft palate, a condition in which the roof of the mouth contains an opening into the nose. This disorder can result in feeding problems, speech problems, hearing problems, and frequent ear infections, and left the couple unable to enroll him in a regular childcare center because he required special medical attention. The lack of affordable options left Paola unable to work until Sebastian could have corrective surgery at 10 months old. That meant she and her partner had to burn through their savings in order to make ends meet.

She went to bed hungry more than once, worried about how that could hurt her nursing child.

These are the choices that working families face in their daily lives. Costs continue to rise and parents are devoting more time to work in order to make ends meet. It is no surprise then that couples are waiting longer to have children. They don’t always want to, but it is a choice they have to make because of the financial constraints involved in raising a family in modern America.

Here’s an idea for much needed relief for families: Affordable childcare.

The annual cost of putting two kids in a full-time childcare center, a necessity for lots of working class families, is more than the annual cost of rent in most states and infant care costs more than a year of public college in 31 states.

I am an immigrant in this country trying to make ends meet. I was undocumented, but am now working to be a citizen in my adopted home where I want to lay roots. At 25, I am at an age where many people start to think about these things, and it is discouraging to me to see hardworking friends struggle to start a family.

The system should encourage and protect those who want to do the right thing for families.

It wasn’t always this tough for families in the United States. In the 1940s, we had a universal childcare program under the Lanham Act, which cost parents the equivalent of $9 to $10 dollars a day in today’s dollars. The purpose of this act was to provide incentives for women to join the workforce during World War II, and it remains a more affordable childcare program than any available today.

In the 1970s, the country saw a resurgence of interest in the issue of childcare and a universal childcare system was nearly pushed through Congress. Unfortunately, President Nixon vetoed the bill before it could be enacted into law.

Now we find ourselves in 2016 and with greater urgency than ever before. We need a comprehensive childcare system that takes working class families into account.

The United States is increasingly falling behind the developed world on this issue. The lack of childcare does not only affect families, it also hurts employers. It costs businesses around $3 billion dollars annually when parents who are forced to interrupt their work schedules because of unexpected issues related to childcare.

Julio Calderon and his girlfriend found themselves having to make the difficult choice between work and caring for their child. Julio is an undocumented Immigrant from Honduras who lives in Miami, Florida. He and his partner have been struggling to find affordable childcare for their 6-month old baby. The least expensive option they found costs $350 dollars a week, exceeding their rent.

Julio has been forced to put his university education on hold so he can work two jobs to make ends meet. They rely on family and babysitters. He wishes they had a more stable – and affordable – option. They both need to work to pay their bills, but too often find themselves having to choose between them who stays home with the baby.

We live in one of the wealthiest, most developed nations in the world, yet we have a system that has left the core of our society, our families, behind. Families should never have to choose between paying for child care and paying for enough food to put on the table.

Funding an affordable childcare system is not only a smart fiscal decision, but also a moral responsibility for a country that regularly cites family values as the core of its identity.

Families like Paola’s and Julio’s have to fight twice as hard to help their families thrive.

Paola found full-time work as a communications manager with the Florida Immigrant Coalition, an immigrant rights group. Now her partner is home taking care of their son.

“For a country with supposed high family values, the support my family needed in our time of need was simply just not there,” Paola says.

We can’t afford to leave any more families behind.

Thomas Kennedy is a writing fellow for the Center for Community Change Action.

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Stephen Colbert Tells The Senate What's What After Gun Control BS

Stephen Colbert did not mince words when he told the Senate just how absurdly pathetic their vote against reformed gun control legislation was in the wake of the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history

On Tuesday night’s episode of “The Late Show,” Colbert took lawmakers to task for voting down four bills that might have made this country safer, including barring gun sales to anyone who has been on a terrorist watch list in the previous five years and tightening background checks at gun shows and for all online sales.

While 90 percent of the public is in favor of such a move, the Senate couldn’t manage to get the necessary 60 votes. 

“After the attacks in Orlando, Florida, I thought maybe the government might do their job and pass any kind of law, even a fig leaf, to justify their existence,” he said. (How wrong he was to think they might listen to the wishes of 90 percent of the population.)

Needless to say, Colbert’s over it. 

“Hey, Senate, my dog accomplished more than you this week when he rolled over and licked his nuts.”

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WATCH LIVE: New York's First Openly Gay Congressman Discusses Orlando

New York’s first openly gay U.S. congressman, Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney, sits down with The Huffington Post to discuss the Orlando shooting.

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LGBT YouTubers Share Why They Are #ProudToBe Queer

In honor of 2016 Queer Pride, YouTube brought together a group of its most popular lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) personalities to discuss why they are #ProudToBe queer.

The YouTube #ProudToBe campaign occurring in conjunction with the above video encourages others to share their own story, photo or video using the hashtag to engage in a larger, virtual conversation about what Pride means to them.

“Around the world, YouTube has consistently been a place where people can express who they are and a place where people can find community, especially when they may not be able to find it at home,” a YouTube spokesperson told The Huffington Post. “No matter who you are, YouTube gives you a voice and the opportunity to connect with those who share a similar story. We are proud to be a platform where our users can be exactly who they are, and the LGBTQ community is integral to that voice and that message.”

Check out the video for yourself above and head here to learn more about the #ProudToBe campaign.

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Since You Asked, Yes, Goat Testicles Do Cure Impotency

“Brinkey would put goat testicles inside an impotent man, and nine months later, that man would call himself a father.” 

You’ll have to watch this clip (exclusive to The Huffington Post) from the new documentary “Nuts!” to understand just how effective one eccentric Kansas doctor’s goat-gland procedure was in curing erectile dysfunction. He had celebrity clients! 

Directed by Penny Lane (“Our Nixon”), “Nuts!” peremiered to rave reviews at Sundance in January. The movie opens in New York on Wednesday and expands to additional cities this summer. 

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My Transgender Life: Peace In The House (Shalom Bayit)

I was chatting — probably more accurately, lamenting, with a friend a few weeks ago. I was saying now that I have a video up on my website, I was not quite sure what to do with it next, and just perhaps, get more people to know that I talk about authenticity. She was kind enough to attend the event where I spoke and has been great resource providing ideas to me.

Most of my friends know I am on a mission to encourage all people, not just trans people to fully accept themself, their own individual dreams and desires, and to live as their true, authentic self, as, if they do not, they will never be whole!

That evening, my friend asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks. She wondered if what I talk about could be focused on Jewish values.

If you may have read some of my writings you may know I am Jewish, but not observant or what most would call religious. However, my brain immediately pulled out the phrase Shalom Bayit — Peace in the House.

Here is a short definition:

As a Jewish value
Throughout the history of the Jewish people, Jews have held an ideal standard for Jewish family life that is manifested in the term shalom bayit. Shalom bayit signifies completeness, wholeness, and fulfillment. Hence, the traditional Jewish marriage is characterized by peace, nurturing, respect, and chesed (roughly meaning kindness, more accurately loving-kindness), through which a married couple becomes complete. It is believed that God’s presence dwells in a pure and loving home.

My brain remembered when peace in my own home was more important than anything! Even living my truth. I hid myself from everyone…my wife, my kids… I tried so hard. I thought I was pretty successful in doing this, but that turned out to just add to my own internal bank account of denial.

I was never at peace in my own internal house!

I thought I was on to something here; I let it sit in my mind to see where it would take me.

I reached out to my good friend Rabbi Michael Bernstein, to share my thoughts and he shared the following story with me…

The embodiments of truth, peace, lovingkindness, justice argue with G*d about whether human beings should be created. Lovingkindness and Justice are for it because humans will do some acts of which they approve. Peace and Truth are against because humanity will fail to keep them. G*d throws Truth to the ground in order to break the tie.

He then shared his own thoughts on this story.

However for me, this challenging story is about the nature of truth. Truth is not monolithic and in heaven, but personal and available to us in this world in a meaningful way. I would call this mode of truth “authenticity” and claim that authenticity is what guides us in understanding shalom bayit. You can compromise about different strongly held beliefs to make peace in a relationship, but never about the truth of who you are. Peace cannot be peace without authenticity.

Rabbi Michael Bernstein

Last year I wrote two blogs…

Where is God?

and…

This Old House

..that I now had to go back to….How much of my life I lived in compromise before I learned to nurture the truth, actually MY TRUTH, to grow and allow me to rebuild my own personal house.

No, my previous life was not a lie, no, never a lie! I lived it! I honor it as I reflect back on this incredible journey I have been on. I made mistakes, many, in fact. There were the lies, the words of denial I told myself, over and over and over…. and then told to others….

I am responsible for it. I can ask for forgiveness, and I can forgive myself.

I am thankful that I believe I have passed that part of my life.

I never underestimate the wonder of my children and grandchildren.

I never underestimate the wonder of my next moment.

I remember the wonder of Truth and how hard it is to bring it up out of the ground and nurture it so that it can grow and grow. I was not ready to nurture my truth for over 60 years, but when I was ready to find it and love it and care for it, it was there waiting for me without any conditions, grudges or guilt.

All it asked from me was to not compromise my own house. I, at last, was willing to listen.

Perhaps you may be too. It is never too late.

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Grace Stevens transitioned at the age of 64 and holds a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology. She is the author of No! Maybe? Yes! Living My Truth, an intimate memoir of her journey to live authentically. Grace is available for speaking with Live Your Truth: Discover Paths to Improved Performance. Grace’s new book Musings on Living Authentically will be available soon. Visit her website at: http://www.graceannestevens.com/. Follow Grace on Twitter: www.twitter.com/graceonboard .

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