The Pentagon expands program for hackers to test its security

The Pentagon expands program for hackers to test its securityBack in March, the US’s Department of Defense launched a “Hack the Pentagon” campaign to get hackers to test their websites and security networks for vulnerabilities, without the threat of jail time. The project was so successful that the government agency has announced it’s being expanded, including more DoD websites and networks, with further cash incentives for hackers. Think of … Continue reading

Driverless cars could be the future of racing

Translogic host Jonathon Buckley heads to Thunderhill Raceway for the first Autonomous Track Day. We caught up with Silicon Valley entrepreneur and event organizer Joshua Schachter to find out if driverless cars will ever race themselves.

China’s LeEco U.S. Launch Expected This Fall

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There are many mobile OEMs in China that have quickly made a name for themselves in the global mobile market but not a lot of them have crossed the seas to come over to the United States. That could change in the near future as one of those brands is expected to set up shop in the United States by this fall. LeEco is expected to launch its products in the United States later this year.

LeEco is a Chinese smartphone maker that was previously known as LeTV, that’s because the company also offers a video streaming service. It’s believed that it would bring the service over to the U.S. as well.

LeEco’s online video streaming service currently has Chinese and Indian content, and if it’s looking to expand into the United States it’s going to have to significantly improve the content offering to appeal to customers. According to reports, LeEco is talking to content rights holders in the country to get more content for its video streaming service ahead of its planned launch.

The company is also expected to start selling its smartphones in the United States. Rumor has it that the first handset it will bring to the States will be the Max Pro that was unveiled earlier this year at the Consumer Electronics Show 2016.

LeEco already has around 400 employees in the United States and by launch, the workforce could be expanded to as many as 1,000 employees across four west-coast locations.

China’s LeEco U.S. Launch Expected This Fall , original content from Ubergizmo. Read our Copyrights and terms of use.

Aston Martin Is Making A Car Faster Than The Bugatti Chiron

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Bugatti has long held the honor of creating the faster production car in the world. It had the honor with the Veyron and it gets it with the recently unveiled Bugatti Chiron as well. It appears that Aston Martin is gunning for that crown because it’s working on a new car that’s going to very rare, very expensive, and the fastest production car in the world.

Aston Martin is working with Red Bull on this hypercar that’s currently known as AM-RB 001 and “Project Nebula.” Legendary F1 designer Adrian Newey is involved in the production of this car.

There was a customer event at the Monaco Grand Prix where more details about Project Nebula were revealed. Aston Martin CEO Andy Palmer was present at the event.

According to a report by Autocar, the AM-RB 001 is going to be limited to just 99 units, which would mean it’s going to be very rare. On the other hand, Bugatti is going to make 500 units of the Chiron. Don’t expect to find the Aston Martin hypercar in your local garage. It’s only going to be sold in select destinations across Europe and the Middle East.

Nebula is believed to have a hybrid drivetrain packaged into a car that’s super lightweight. Its sole focused is said to be on going fast. While Aston Martin hasn’t confirmed the final cost of this device it’s expected to cost as much as $5 million.

Aston Martin Is Making A Car Faster Than The Bugatti Chiron , original content from Ubergizmo. Read our Copyrights and terms of use.

Apple Watch Discounted To $49 At Best Buy

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There’s a good promotion being offered to Best Buy customers who are looking to purchase a new Apple Watch. Even if you’re not looking to buy one for yourself perhaps you might want to take advantage of this promotion for Father’s Day. Best Buy is discounting the Apple Watch by $250 and offering it for $49, but there’s a caveat.

Best Buy is cutting $250 off all Apple Watch models and offering it for $49. The only caveat is that you will need to purchase a new iPhone to get the Apple Watch at this price.

Purchase and activate an iPhone 6S or iPhone 6S Plus from Best Buy and you will be able to purchase the 38mm Apple Watch for $250 off its regular price at $49.

This promotion is available starting today both online and through the retailer’s stores. Activation must be done on Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint to avail this offer.

Expect more of these promotions in the coming months as retailers clear their inventory ahead of the launch of the next-generation Apple Watch. It’s expected that the company is going to introduce its second smartwatch later this year in the fall. The same goes for iPhones as well, the new iPhones are also going to be unveiled in the fall this year.

Apple Watch Discounted To $49 At Best Buy , original content from Ubergizmo. Read our Copyrights and terms of use.

How Obama's Presidency Has Been A Victory For Working Parents

As President Barack Obama approaches the end of his second term, there’s been much discussion of what his legacy will be. While much of that debate focuses on his foreign policy or his sweeping domestic policies, such as the Affordable Care Act, there’s another area where the 44th president has left a significant mark: making life easier for millions of working parents.

“His administration has spent a lot of time and energy explaining why family-friendly policies are good for business, and providing a platform for employers to share their own views on the topic,” said Debra Ness, president of the National Partnership for Women and Families.

Those policies have included expanding paid parental leave and sick time, emphasizing gender equality in parenting and reducing some of the costs associated with having children. (There have also been some misses — family policy advocates pointed to the administration’s continued deportation raids targeting mothers and children as a major disappointment.) 

“This administration has focused in on those issues in ways that previous administrations did not,” says Heather Boushey, the executive director and chief economist of the Washington Center for Equitable Growth, noting that’s been driven in part by the Obama administration’s ideology and in part by the economic conditions over the last decade. 

Here are some of the ways Obama’s presidency has benefited parents:

He’s emphasized giving new mothers and fathers the time off they need.

“We are a nation that, on the one hand, both encourages and preaches about the importance of being good parents to your children,” says Ellen Bravo of Family Values @ Work, an advocacy group that pushes for paid sick and family leave. “And yet for millions Americans, doing exactly that will cost them their financial security.” 

Obama has pushed to make it possible for parents to be both engaged with their children and financially secure, signing an executive action granting federal workers six weeks of paid leave after a child is born. He’s also urged Congress and state legislatures to expand paid leave, and emphasized the issue in his 2015 State of the Union address. The Labor Department, meanwhile, has given grants to states exploring the benefits of granting more workers paid leave.

This emphasis appears to have had some trickle-down effects. Cities like New York, San Francisco and Austin have moved forward on their own to grant workers paid family leave. The issue also became an important one on the campaign trail throughout the primary season. And while just 12 percent of Americans currently have access to paid parental leave, there seems to be a shift in some sectors: Tech companies in particular have started offering generous paid leave programs, in part to retain talented workers.

Many studies tout the benefits of family leave for parents and children alike. Children whose parents are granted paid parental leave are more likely to be immunized. Women are also more likely to breastfeed longer if given more paid time off, which in turn can help prevent asthma, infections and other health problems. A 2011 study found that increasing paid maternity and paternity leave could even reduce the infant mortality rate by 10 percent. Fathers who are given paternity leave are more likely to take an active role in parenting later on, which can help with children’s development.

Parents also see significant health benefits: A 2015 study published in Social Science & Medicine found women who are given paid maternity leave with full benefits are 16.2 percent less likely to become depressed than women without paid leave. Another study found that women who have paid maternity leave are significantly less likely to experience depression later in life.

Allowing new parents time off to bond with their child also benefits the companies they work for. Research shows that individuals given paid maternity leave are more likely to return to work at the same company, reducing costs associated with employee turnover. Women who take paid leave are also more likely to work more hours and remain in the workforce longer.

“That can save firms significant money,” says Boushey.

But it’s not just new parents that need time with their kids.

Obama has also required federal contractors to provide paid sick days to their employees, which parents can use to care for children or other loved ones in need. He’s also emphasized these policies at the state and municipal level: Currently, five states and 26 cities have paid sick time policies in place.

“The progress we have seen in recent years is hugely important, not just because of those who have been helped, but also because we now have an irrefutable body of evidence demonstrating that paid sick days policies work well for employers as well as workers,” said Ness, pointing to research showing how paid sick time has little impact on profitability and in some cases has boosted productivity among workers.

The American Medical Association has also endorsed paid sick leave, arguing that by giving individuals time off to care for themselves or their children, they are reducing the risk of transmitting diseases or viruses to others or prolonging illness.

“Paid sick leave keeps our homes, offices and communities healthier while ensuring the family’s economic security,” the organization said.

He’s embraced the role of “dad-in-chief.”

Barack Obama has been ‘dad-in-chief’ in a way we haven’t seen before in the White House,” said Bravo. “He talks openly about the need for fathers to be engaged, but also that women are disproportionately affected by the lack of [family-friendly] policies.” 

Obama regularly talks about his relationship with his daughters, Malia and Sasha, and the importance of his role as a father. Bravo argues that by doing so, Obama has made parenthood an issue of national importance. She pointed specifically to Obama sharing how his daughters had reshaped his views on marriage equality.

“That’s a great model in a father,” she said.

His emphasis on fatherhood — which Obama has said stems from his own childhood with an absent dad — could have a concrete impact on kids if emulated. Studies show that children with engaged fathers have higher cognitive ability and stronger literacy skills. Children with engaged parents are also likelier to be healthy and have less emotional distress. And by emphasizing equality in parenting, Obama is making strides for women as well. 

“His gender-neutral approach to family-friendly policies is also tremendously positive because it underscores that, for families and communities to thrive, we must recognize that caregiving is not just a women’s issue,” said Ness.

He’s addressed rising income inequality. 

Obama’s answers to the country’s worsening economic inequality — the Affordable Care Act, pushing for a higher minimum wage, proposing tax credits for child care expenses — could have a significant impact on working families.

“This is an era in which the kinds of benefits that families get make all the difference for economic security,” said Boushey. 

Research shows that low wages have a major impact on families, and women of color are disproportionately affected. Raising the federal minimum wage, as Obama has proposed, would increase the salaries of millions of low-wage workers — most of whom are women

As for the ACA, a 2014 Brookings Institution study found that Obamacare will ease income inequality over time by boosting the average income of the country’s lowest earners. Another study by the Urban Institute found that the law will help close the coverage gap between white people and people of color.

Ness also pointed to provisions of Obamacare, like contraception coverage and requiring employers to give nursing mothers time to pump at work, as being huge milestones for parents, arguing that these policies are “essential to women’s ability to participate and succeed in the workforce.”

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How Feminist Academics Dealt With An Ethics Professor Accused Of Harassment

Aye decided two years ago that famed philosophy professor Thomas Pogge, the “global justice hero” she had dated for several months, had deceived her enough.

Aye, at the time a Ph.D. student at a European university, wrote a blog post about her relationship with an unnamed man who she suggested had abused his status as a renowned scholar based at Yale University to have affairs with several students. The website Thought Catalog published her essay on April 26, 2014.

“My tone in Thought Catalog is that this person is odious who is lying and cheating — I wasn’t thinking there was something bigger,” she told The Huffington Post. Aye is not her real name, but a nickname she used to retain her anonymity in a BuzzFeed article published last month that details allegations of sexual harassment and misconduct against Pogge.

It turned out, however, that at least two other students had previously accused Pogge of sexual harassment: one at Columbia University, and Yale student Fernanda Lopez Aguilar. These allegations were not made public until BuzzFeed and HuffPost reported on them

But academics in the philosophy world have felt for years that the universities would not adequately address the allegations against Pogge, and have tried to warn others who work with him about the complaints. Aye’s Thought Catalog essay spurred a movement among some feminist professors to actively work to shun Pogge, suggest interviews with several professors in multiple countries and emails obtained by HuffPost.

The Decision To ‘Warn Other Women’

Aye connected with Lopez Aguilar in April 2014 through the authors of the “What is it like to be a woman in philosophy?” blog. Aye agreed to help Lopez Aguilar with a potential lawsuit or federal complaint, and wrote an affidavit for her attorneys.

Lopez Aguilar reported Pogge to Yale for harassment in 2010, and attempted in 2011 to get the federal government to investigate how the university had handled her case. She retained attorney Ann Olivarius to prepare for a potential legal action.

In her affidavit, obtained by HuffPost, Aye said she met Pogge at a conference in 2013, and began emailing with him soon after. He offered to help her career, she said, stating early on in an email, “lots of job openings cross my desk, so maybe I can help you find a place where you can be productive in the [global justice] universe.” She said she always denied his offers. Their relationship became intimate during his visits to Europe in late 2013.

But Aye said she decided in early 2014 to “warn other women” that Pogge had deceived her repeatedly, including hiding that he had been married for about 30 years. 

Pogge has denied acting inappropriately with any graduate students. 

Aye believed she was one Pogge’s “secret mistresses,” she wrote in her affidavit, and that some of the other women were graduate students for whom he’d written recommendations. She alleged these relationships bordered on being “quid pro quo” arrangements. 

Pogge wrote in an email to HuffPost that he had written a recommendation for one of the students he became intimately involved with, but said he did so before he “had any romantic relation with her.” He said he was familiar with her academic work because he had taught her in the summer of 2010. 

“His modus operandi is to befriend pretty young women in various cities, young women who admire his work,” Aye wrote in her Thought Catalog essay. “He will not get involved with someone who is officially his student, but he will ‘befriend’ pretty women who aren’t officially his students.”

After the publication of the essay, rumors swirled about what famous philosopher the anonymous writer could be referring to. Some people corrected guessed Pogge was the subject of the piece. Yale’s Title IX coordinator, Stephanie Spangler, reached out to Aye privately, and put out word that anyone was information about Pogge was encouraged to contact her directly. 

“Everyone knows,” Pogge told Aye in a phone conversation a day after the blog was published, a recording of which was obtained by HuffPost and which is cited in a federal complaint against Yale. He told her many people had emailed him about the blog post.

“Yeah, everything’s true … I’m sure you’re an honest person trying to depict it as accurately as you can,” Pogge added at the time.

Pogge told HuffPost that Aye had recorded their phone conversations without his knowledge, claiming she gave information “to the Olivarius law firm which used it to find people with grudges against me and to tell people confidential things in order to turn them against me.” 

Professors Start Spreading The Word

Yale never charged Pogge with harassment after the blog post ran. However, Aye set up a website asking people who had experiences with the philosopher to contact her with corroborating information, which she thought could assist Lopez Aguilar’s potential legal action against the school. Eric Schliesser, then a professor at Ghent University in Belgium, was among the academics who openly supported the cause and tried to take things further.

“Often, when I saw where he was on the program and I knew people organizing the conference, I alerted them to the controversy surrounding him,” Schliesser told HuffPost.

Conference organizers would sometimes respond with annoyance that Schliesser was “meddling” with their program, he said, and many declined to remove Pogge from conferences since none of the accusations were public at the time.

Monique Deveaux, a global ethics professor at the University of Guelph in Canada, was scheduled to speak on a panel with Pogge at a conference in Belgium in fall 2015. She decided she would still speak, but make a point to bring up the issue of sexual harassment and gender inequalities.

Leading philosophers of global justice had turned a “blind spot to structures of power that subordinate women and racialized minorities,” Deveaux said at the conference, according to her notes from the event. At another event, one of her European colleagues made a point about sexual assault just as Pogge was entering the room, she said. 

“For some people that’s too subtle,” Deveaux said. “I don’t know how many people understood what was going on.”

One academic based in Europe, who spoke with HuffPost but requested anonymity, recounted that Pogge was scheduled to come to their campus for a workshop in 2014 with a post-graduate students. The faculty there asked him to Skype in instead of actually coming to campus after learning privately of allegations of his misconduct.

Many faculty have turned to shunning as a strategy of dealing with Pogge, Deveaux said.

“It’s a very old concept,” she said. “But it was brought back in the absence of effective legal measures.”

Universities Knew About The Allegations Against Pogge

Martha Nussbaum, a longtime professor at the University of Chicago, learned from a colleague a decade ago that Pogge had been sanctioned for harassment when he was at Columbia University. She did not invite him to events. “But I do not think Pogge’s work is very good,” Nussbaum noted.

Yale recruited Pogge away from Columbia in 2007. When Pogge faced university charges of sexually harassing Lopez Aguilar at Yale in 2011, he told the school investigator that Yale was fully aware of the allegations against him at Columbia, according to BuzzFeed. Yale hired him anyway. 

Aye said Pogge had told her a different story about what happened at Columbia. 

“He said that when he was at Columbia, he had a stalker who was crazy and eventually she entrapped him and performed oral sex on him, but the woman was crazy,” she said. “Harassment never even came up, it was just him sharing a story about crazy women he’s encountered in his life.” 

Pogge disputed part of that claim in an email to HuffPost: “I cannot recall ever telling her that I was stalked by anyone (nor was I in fact stalked by anyone — at Columbia or elsewhere).”

Christia Mercer, who has taught philosophy at Columbia since 1991, said she was aware of allegations that Pogge had behaved inappropriately with a student at the school. Mercer said she warned professors at the University of Oslo in Norway, where both she and Pogge held academic positions, about the claims against him after she read the Thought Catalog essay in 2014. Pogge was reappointed later that academic year, and still holds a position with the university. 

“I genuinely believe he is dangerous,” Aye said. “I’ve spoken to a few other [students who had relationships with him]. He’s caused a lot of harm and had some very lasting damage on others.” 

_______

Tyler Kingkade is a national reporter, focusing on higher education and sexual violence, and is based in New York. You can reach him at tyler.kingkade@huffingtonpost.com, or find him on Twitter: @tylerkingkade.

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The Beauty Of Alzheimer's

“Beautiful place,” said my father, looking around admiringly. “Nice . . . very nice. Beautiful place.”

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“It sure is,” agreed the attendant behind the wheelchair. Quite charitably, I might add, because this particular hallway of the local VA hospital was not what I or anyone else could realistically call “beautiful.” The lobby, now, that was a different story — all glass and sunlight and super-modern check-in terminals. The lobby was bright and if not beautiful, at least relatively appealing. The lobby made you feel better about coming to a hospital, like it just might be a halfway pleasant experience. As if only the best and most cutting-edge medical procedures would be offered here. As if everyone, in the end, would come out alive.

My dad, on this day, would almost certainly come out alive, and thanks to his Alzheimer’s Disease, no worse for the wear. The reason for this particular ER visit isn’t really important; suffice it to say that whatever it was, my dad had forgotten about it halfway between home and hospital. Also, that through powers well beyond my control, I had arrived carrying a vial of his urine in my purse. Which also isn’t really important, and yet I find myself trying to work it into conversations every chance I get. Believe me when I tell you that I don’t get many.

So we’d arrived at the hospital via ambulance, they’d done the normal things, and now, we were on our way to get a CT scan of my dad’s bladder. Or kidneys. Or probably both. It was a bit of a hike from the ER to the imaging department, so my dad had plenty of time to remark upon the beauty of his surroundings; at the moment said surroundings included worn tile floors and closed doors, some featuring skull-and-crossbones-style DANGER signs. Scuffed white walls, a utilitarian brown handrail running the length. Every 50 feet or so, you might come across a large framed photo of nature at close range: blades of grass as tall as my hand, a butterfly the size of an average pigeon. Maybe it was those photos that my dad found beautiful, and maybe they actually were. To my eyes, they were little more than a try and fail to cheer the place up: fancy pillows thrown on a threadbare couch. I guess it could have also been that my dad was simply being nice, but I doubted that. His faculty for pretending had been among the first to go.

“How long you been working here?” he asked the attendant now. We’d just turned our third corner or maybe our fourth, each hallway having been indistinguishable from the last. I really hoped someone would be around to lead us out of here.

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“Long enough,” the attendant said with a chuckle.

My dad chuckled too. “Long enough, huh? That’s good. Nice place, you got here. Very nice. Beautiful.”

“He has dementia,” I said, as if I needed to say anything at all. It’s not like my dad had embarrassed himself, or said or done something inappropriate. Still. I don’t know. I guess I felt like I needed to explain, to let him know that my normal dad would not remark so enthusiastically on the loveliness of this barren and institutional corridor. My normal dad was like us, is what I really meant. My normal dad knew better.

What I wanted, I know now, was to retrieve my dad’s dignity for him, since he couldn’t do it himself. Like it was nothing more than a lost contact lens. And failing that, I at least wanted people to know that he once had it. Not that it was especially undignified to call a hallway ‘beautiful.’ And not that my dad was ever particularly dignified in the first place. But I wanted people to know what he was really like.

Because this wasn’t it.

“Just shoot me,” my dad’s sister once said, in a conversation in which she worried she might end up like her older brother. “Better yet, dress me up in a fur coat and send me out into the woods. Let the bears get me. Just do not let me live like that. Whatever happens, my God, please don’t let me live like that.”

Not surprisingly, most people seem to agree with her. Most people hope mightily that the reality of Alzheimer’s Disease will never become their own, and not without good cause. I often wonder what it must be like for my father, living with a brain set on permanent auto-erase. The older I get, the more my brain becomes the one aspect of my physical self which I can appreciate unconditionally. How would it be, for example, if I could no longer read a book because I couldn’t remember what it said from one paragraph to the next? How would it be to not be able to follow along with your favorite TV series or sports teams or, I don’t know, political figures? To not even know you once had favorites? My dad can’t look back with misty nostalgia on his wedding day, or the days he brought home my sister or me, or, for that matter, yesterday. He no longer knows what he likes to eat. Nor does he know not to walk into a restaurant in flannel pajamas. And underneath it all there’s a nervousness, a sense of fearful desperation that comes through strongest when he’s confronted with something he’s not familiar with. Which, these days, is almost everything.

Still, I’m not entirely sure I’d rather be sent into the woods in a bear costume.

Anyway. By the time we were finally able to leave the hospital, my mother was a bundle of anxiety. Tired from a long day of waiting. Tired of being the only real adult in a household that used to include two. Worrying who’d be able to take them back to the VA hospital to see the urologist, wondering if my dad would really be okay.

My father, on the other hand, did not appear to be worried about a thing.

On the way out of the hospital, he agreed with someone who guessed he’d been in Korea — he had not — and then waved and said very pleasant good-byes to everyone we passed, including doctors and nurses, patients in wheelchairs, sad spouses there to visit their own sick veterans. Most said good-bye in return, a few did not. Almost all looked confused. None of it made any difference to my father, who rolled along in his wheelchair as if he was the parade, the rest of us merely spectators.

And now we were in the car, weaving our way through the back streets of Oakland, a Pittsburgh neighborhood that houses several hospitals and a few universities, Carnegie Mellon and Pitt among them. “Nice neighborhood,” said my dad, glancing around as we waited at a red light. “What do they call this place, anyway? Was I ever here before?”

“It’s called Oakland,” I told him. “I’m sure you were here sometime . . . probably a long time ago.”

“Boy, look at all those beautiful new houses, huh? You see that, Maureen? Look at that! Man, beautiful. Really nice.”

My mom, sitting in the back seat, did not seem impressed. I glanced around myself, taking in the ramshackle brick buildings, most occupied by students, all with some less-than-beautiful defining characteristic. A badly tie-dyed sheet covering a picture window, crushed beer cans overflowing a recycling container, a battered recliner in a front yard. From one second-story window, I could see Ronald McDonald smiling out at me, though whether it was the man himself or just a life-sized cardboard cutout was difficult to determine. Granted, the buildings were big old brownstone types which, with some landscaping and help from several renovation crews, could certainly be beautiful again. As it stood, however, they were a bit past their prime. To put it politely.

“When did they build all these homes, do you know?” he asked me. “Man, these are beautiful new homes, huh? Big. I just wonder when they built all this. It’s a beautiful display.”

Even though “display” sort of made sense here, I was pretty sure it wasn’t the word he was going for. I let it go, as you tend to learn to do. “Yeah, I don’t know how new it is,” I told him. “But I guess . . . I mean, it’s nice. Was nice. Is nice.”

“Huh,” he said.

“Yeah,” I said.

The light we’d been waiting at turned green; we managed to advance maybe five or six car lengths before it was red again. Now to my right was a front yard featuring a dirt-filled kiddie pool, clearly meant as a flower bed but whose contents had long since gone to seed. There were cigarette butts scattered throughout the rest of the yard, and the house itself had a screen door that, in defiance of any and all laws of nature, appeared to be attached with nothing but duct tape.

“Look at that,” said my dad, clearly in awe. “Beautiful!”

The light was still red. I looked over at my dad. He was smiling, or at least forming the lip configuration that passes for his smile these days. His shirt was tucked in, his thinning hair neatly combed. And he was sitting up very straight in his seat — actually, he was leaning forward a bit, apparently anxious to see what new beautiful thing might lay around the bend.

From the backseat, my mother sighed. “I don’t know what he sees, anymore,” she said tiredly.

“It’s the houses, Maureen,” he told her. “Can’t you see the houses?”

“Yeah. I see the houses,” she said.

And then the light turned green, and we moved on, neither my mother nor I able to see what he saw.

And, most likely, hoping we never would.

This post originally appeared on Goodness Madness.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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A WWII Vet's Advice To His Daughter Lasts A Lifetime

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Not surprisingly, one of my earliest memories is of my father telling me something.

“You’re run of the mill, Iris,” he would say. “Just run of the mill.”

Maybe it was my first lesson in intuition, insight and savvy. I knew by the way he said it that what he actually meant was, “You’re special. Very special.”

And he knew I knew. And so the dance began.

In 1947, my father was a young GI coming home from Europe to his war bride — my mother. I was born within a year of his returning stateside — part of the first wave of baby boomers.

Eventually my mom and dad moved out of my grandparent’s house into their own place. The wooden kitchen cabinets were painted yellow. A Lazy Susan was bought for Sunday night dinners of corned beef, pickles and rye bread. A deep maroon paisley couch with tassels was picked out and delivered.

So was a metal swing set. Not assembled.

The metal swing set is new, bright, shiny, massive and all mine.

My dad works all day assembling the metal monster as I sit and watch. After hours of tedious labor, he digs four holes in which to place the swing set’s main poles. To my surprise, he sets the poles in concrete.

Most Dads just dug a shallow hole and set the swing set’s main support poles in the dirt. The higher the swing went, the more the poles wiggled, vibrated and lifted out of the hole. Swinging kids squeaked with terror and delight as the whole structure rose, shuttered and fell back into place. I was always afraid that one day the entire swing set would just tumble over.

Perhaps sensing my fear and having lived through his own fears during combat missions as a ball turret gunner in the European Theater during World War II, my dad grounds my swing set in concrete. I can swing as high as I want — unencumbered by dread of the entire mass becoming airborne.

I plant my bottom on the red metal seat. The heat from the metal stings the backs of my bare legs. I grimace. I squirm a little from side to side. The toes of my clean white Keds brush the grass. I bend my knees and swing my feet forward. Lean back and push off. I start the climb to the sky — head tilted back to see the great blue expanse — my pony tail waving wildly from side to side.

“Okay, Daddy, you can push me now,” I scream. “Real high. I’m ready.”

The years pass. The grass underneath the swing set is matted down. Then worn away. Then reduced to finely ground brown grains that look like home plate on a kid’s makeshift baseball field. The red seats are not as shiny. The supporting poles have a few dents from my swinging crazy. And rust spots are starting to appear.

I still swing.

More years pass. I graduate. Go to college. Marry. Divorce. Remarry. I have the kids and bake the cookies. And do the wash. And drive the car pools.

Always with back-up, behind-the-scenes coaching from my dad, an Eighth Army Air Corp veteran:
Never let them see you sweat
Make it look easy
Do it your way
Do it

Many years later, my own kids move away. And then my husband and I move away too. And my father, the jaunty World War 2 staff sergeant, dies just weeks before his 90th birthday.

When I come back to visit, I notice that the swing set is now old and rickety. The push off mound is sunken in with shallow gullies. The chains are disjointed. The rust is heavy. The seats hang crooked.

The swing set, like me, is well past the half century mark. We are both defined, grounded, centered and structured. Marked by age. Touched by repeated exposure to the elements.

I approach the swing’s red seat warily. It looks so flimsy. Can it hold me? I settle in. Squirm around. Slowly push off and up. I arch my back and hang on tight.

“Okay, Daddy, I say softly to myself. “You can push me now. Real high. I’m ready.”

My father gave me a firm foundation in which to grow. And wings with which to soar. Without him, I would never have had the motivation, the zest, and the inspiration to get through life. Much less enjoy it.

“Thanks, Dad — not just for your past military service to our country — but for the outstanding job you did after the war as my dad. I wish you were still around so I could spend Father’s Day with you.”

If you want more information about Iris’s forthcoming book Tales of a Bulimic Baby Boomer, or to sign up for her weekly newsletter, visit www.irisruthpastor.com or follow her on Twitter @IrisRuthPastor.

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The Kind Of Orgasm Nobody Should Ever Have

Did you know that there is a link between depression and your orgasm? It was shocking for me to read that, according to the National Mental Health Association, there are 12 million women in America that experience clinical depression each year. Not only that — but one in eight women can expect to develop clinical depression during their lifetime.

According to Dr. Michael L. Krychman, Medical Director of Sexual Medicine Hoag Hospital and Executive Director of the Southern California Center for Sexual Health and Survivor-ship Medicine, women are more likely to experience atypical depression — they eat more, sleep more and gain weight. Women are about twice as likely as compared to men to suffer from depression. Many factors are implicated in the origin of depression including biological, psychological and social factors. Medical problems can contribute to depression, so it’s always critical to get a comprehensive history and medical examination. Some cultural or psycho social problems that may lead to depression include poor self-image/self-esteem relationship dissatisfaction.

Luckily, there are a variety of treatment modalities that can safely and effectively treat depression. Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors have become the first choice of antidepressant medications. Many experience life-changing results and return to normal once they have consistently taken these medications. According to the “USA Today” report on Americans taking antidepressants, the amount of Americans using antidepressants doubled in the past — to close to 50 million people.

Not surprisingly, we see that depressed mood and sexual concerns and difficulties — including changes in sexual desire and lowered arousal — are often intertwined. SSRIs can cause many types of sexual concerns, such as the inability to have an orgasm. Lowered sexual interest is common for both men and women. The sexual side effects of SSRIs have been underestimated and at least some health care professionals are reluctant to discuss sexual side effects with their patients.

In my clinical experience it remains critical for these women to maintain their SSRI medications. Depression is devastating. Sexual side effects are often troublesome, but can be addressed in a variety of ways. For instance, I recommend that if they take their medication in the morning, they enjoy morning sex play before their dose. The amount of SSRI in their system may be at its lowest level at this time, and may allow enough escape, so that they can enjoy orgasm. Another excellent solution to heighten your sexual response and improve sexual satisfaction is with Zestra®, a patented blend of botanical oils and extracts that has been clinically proven to be safe and effective. Zestra can be applied topically to help with latency to orgasm and has been reported by many women on SSRI also report improved sexual orgasmic response.

Okay great. We can use topical creams like Zestra or Sex Butter — why not? But there is more.

As a Sex and Relationship Coach, I also think that it’s helpful for women and their partners to separate the idea and concept of “climax” from the idea or concept of orgasm. We live in a very male dominated society — where almost every experience including female sexuality and orgasm are based on a male model. The male model for orgasm is all around ejaculation and climax — the entire experience can happen in three minutes! Women can have an entirely different experience of sexual pleasure — and their experience can be separated into “arousal,” “orgasm,” and “climax.” Women can have tremendous pleasure floating back into the pleasure of arousal and orgasm without a climax. It’s just that we think we are not having an “orgasm” if we don’t experience a “climax.” And that simply isn’t true.

It’s time to change this model for every woman — and for women on anti-depressants, introducing the concept of “The Arousal Principal”, “Slow Sex” or “Organic Orgasm” can be very helpful. Women also have an inner pharmacy and can be taught how to use it doing some very simple meditations that flood the body with endorphins and that can possibly support women in reducing or getting off of anti-depressants in some cases.

I also think that understanding the Orgasm Gap between men and women (which really should be renamed the “Climax Gap”) would help women better understand their sexual responses and reduce anxiety about experiencing feminine erotic pleasure. Men and women are different. Women who are experiencing depression can feel like their erotic response is also depressed. But using tools and information like understanding our arousal, experimenting with arousal gels, lubricants, sex toys such as vibrators, and re-educating ourselves about the female experience of orgasm and climax all can change the game and welcome back pleasure for everyone.

No one should have a depressed orgasm!

Pamela Madsen runs retreats around the country to help women re-connect to their bodies and sensuous nature and is author of the book; “Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner” (Rodale 2011).

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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