Hasta La Gadget!

“I want a woman to be President. I just don’t want THAT woman.”

You can insert any level of leadership in that line, and you’ll be accurate.

“I want a woman to be CEO. I just don’t want THAT woman.”

If you dig deeper, you’ll find a variety of valid reasons why THAT woman should never be in a position of power.

Based upon comments in previous elections, it’s possible that her calves are too big. And how in the world can a woman handle high-level leadership responsibilities with cankles? Who could possibly pay attention to her during a TedTalk® with those swollen appendages offending the eye?

While watching a political convention one year, I heard a woman say that any female running for office should take off those hideous, comfortable pumps and wear Stilettos so as to slenderize her legs.

I would love to see footage of Lyndon Johnson hobbling to the podium for a major announcement wearing his favorite pair of Jimmy Choo’s.

We can take a woman facing tremendous pressure, working 80 hours a week, attempting to do her job against unbelievable odds, and make it all about her new haircut.

Just ask Marcia Clark.

According to recent comments on social media, we apparently want a woman President who will talk about her grandchildren on a regular basis.

I remember the last time one of our male Presidents stopped a press conference on security by saying, “Before we discuss nuclear arms, have you seen this latest photo of Jimmybob, my grandson? Isn’t he adorable?”

“I want a woman to be President. I just don’t want THAT woman. She’s too bossy.”

Dealing with foreign countries and terrorists and potential economic collapse might make you a little fussy, I’m not sure. And helping to lead an internationally critical mission could require some tough decisions, but I guess a female leader could at least approach the situation with some decorum.

“Mr. Terrorist — would you please let the CIA guys in? Please? I hate to intrude, but I think in this situation I might have to. Truly, your home is lovely. If you can accommodate, I’d be more than happy to talk to the women in the house about a Yankee Candle party at some point.”

Who cares if a women has a law degree or has competed and thrived in an Ivy League environment? We’d rather she has a degree from Emily Post. Anybody can pass exams in one of the most esteemed law schools in the country, but selecting the correct floral arrangements for an upcoming wedding? Priceless.

“I want a woman to be President. I just don’t want THAT woman. Her husband slept around. She obviously works too much and couldn’t keep him happy.”

We still believe, somehow, that men only sleep around because they are not well-served by their wives in a variety of ways. So, Mrs. Jefferson, shame on you. Thomas would have never done what he did if you had been a little more seductive in that petticoat. And shame on you, Mrs. Washington, and Mrs. Cleveland, and Mrs. Harding, and Mrs. Roosevelt, and Mrs. Eisenhower, and Mrs. Kennedy, and Mrs. Johnson, continuing ad infinitum.

Maribel Morgan could have taught you so many things, because the total woman, the complete package, keeps her husband happy. For those of you who lived in a time devoid of Saran Wrap . . . you’re exempted from this last statement.

In summary, it seems that we might elect a woman President if she —

• Bakes cookies
• Talks about grandkids
• Has no wrinkles and a killer figure
• Dresses in designer outfits
• Can rock stilettos
• Knows when to serve people around her
• Stays quiet and humble
• Keeps her husband happy

I don’t know about you, but that list doesn’t seem to describe the leader of the free world. It describes June Cleaver in her pearls fixing dinner for her family in a time that existed only on television.

Why don’t we step outside of the box created by the 1950’s ABC lineup and give ourselves a break? Let’s raise ourselves up from the “you’re only as good as your outfit” belief and stand eye-to-eye with our own amazing intellects.

Let’s stop judging each other by what we wear, or what we weigh. Let’s stop valuing passive attributes.

Let’s remember our elementary school days, before we were convinced that sexual attractiveness was our greatest value.

We are warriors. And warriors don’t get deflected by sticks and stones. Warriors work together to change the world, even with large calves and cankles.

Earlier on Huff/Post50:

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The “Unicorn Era” referred to startups being valued at $1-billion or more. The era is coming to a close as more startups are receiving higher valuations and funding for sustainability. Critics say that these unicorn startups are a blueprint for the next risk bubble.

In these situations, the value of a unicorn startup’s growth exceeds its ability to profit. Many startups have found that their initial business plans were unrealistic and will not work.

Healthier Businesses Needed

Investor and venture capitalist funding is not going to be around for all unicorn startups. This means that the startup has to be healthier from the start in order to be self-funding. Private funding is harder to come by as the boom of startups in the technology and mobile application industries sparked increased interest from investors.

To develop a healthier business, startups need to construct a feasible and realistic business plan with attainable goals. It also means that these businesses need to stash profits away to reinvest them back into the company to support itself rather than entering a panic and desperately pitching to potential investors for additional funding.

Mergers and Acquisitions

Expect more mergers and acquisitions of industry-related companies to start happening. Some of the unicorn startups are finding that they cannot support themselves or can combine with another startup to be a stronger force in their respective industries.

Even mergers of long-standing companies such as LinkedIn are selling. Microsoft recently acquired LinkedIn to the tune of $26.4 million with the completion of the acquisition expected by the end of 2016. What drives corporations to buyout others is that it is a valued service with promise for longevity, the valuation of companies like LinkedIn is less than expected. This requires difficult business decisions to be made to save these companies from financial ruin.

Tarnished Reputations

Sometimes startups just start out too big and bold. Bold behaviors for media attention can lead to a tarnished reputation, similar to what Gawker Media learned from releasing incriminating information without consent. Although Gawker Media has been in-business for several years, it made a move that now has the company filing for chapter 11 bankruptcy.

The goal of releasing incriminating video of Terry Bollea (more commonly known as Hulk Hogan) was to bring attention to the brand. It worked, but has now given the company a truly poor reputation with increased negative coverage online, on television and in print.

When startups make bold moves and jeopardize themselves, society starts to publicly bash the brand, leaving a bad taste in the mouths of larger audiences. It is difficult to resurrect a company following such negative exposure.

Increased Startup Valuation

Unicorn startups used to be a rarity. Now, more startups have higher valuations, such as $1-billion or more within their first year in operation. Zenefits is only about three years old but already has a valuation of $4.5-billion. This is 45-times the valuation forecasted by industry experts.

The increased valuation is the main contributing factor to the end of the most recent startup unicorn era. Some startups have exceeded the expectations of respective industry experts.

Decreased Profit Valuation

Some startups blew up too fast and found to have not profited as much as expected or reported. The overhead and maintenance costs ate up most of the profits for some of the startups. Once a startup reaches the twelve to eighteen-month mark, it needs to poll investors, funding angels and private sector investors again. The issue is, high-profile investors are not sought after by smaller startups, stronger startups are eating up their investable funds quickly.

The decreased profit valuation is causing some of these unicorns to plateau slightly. While they may struggle, there is still ample funding in the technology, Internet and marketing industries available.

Why the Era is over

Seeing a startup with a short-term valuation over $1-billion is common in 2016. These dreams and ideas are no longer considered to be hard to come by. In late 2015, industry experts tallied the number of global unicorns, finding that 140 exist with most being based in the United States. China and India are not far behind.

Closing Thoughts

If another unicorn era is going to happen, the startups must have an idea that is revolutionary. Another Google, Facebook or eBay will need to be created with a concept that changes an industry in a dramatic way. The valuation of these companies would have to be at least twice what the recently-ended era was.

To prevent mergers, acquisitions and complete failure, the next group of startups should focus on securing internal funding before seeking out venture capitalists and private-sector investors.

Do you expect another unicorn era in the near future?

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This Father’s Day, send dad out for a round of golf or a nap in the hammock while you and the kids whip up a special homemade dessert. Whether you go for the Chocolate & Peanut Butter Icebox Cake or the Dark Chocolate Bread Pudding, all of these recipes will show dad the love — and end the day on a sweet note.

1. Chocolate Peanut Butter Icebox Cake

You can never go wrong with chocolate and peanut butter, and this elegant-looking icebox cake is no exception. The best part: you don’t even need to turn on the oven! GET THE RECIPE

2. Sticky Toffee Banana Cake

This warm banana cake drizzled with hot toffee sauce is a twist on the classic English dessert, sticky toffee pudding. A comforting dessert that looks pretty too! GET THE RECIPE

3. Supernatural Brownies

If you’ve been searching for the perfect brownie recipe, look no further. I promise you, this is it! The recipe comes from Nick Malgieri’s Chocolate cookbook, an excellent resource for all things chocolate. GET THE RECIPE

4. Lemon Buttermilk Pound Cake

If dad’s a lemon lover, this is the cake for him. Doused with a sweet lemon syrup and drizzled with a tart lemon glaze, there’s a pop of intense lemon flavor in every bite. GET THE RECIPE

4. Chocolate Cupcakes with Chocolate Frosting

The cake portion of the recipe is modestly adapted from Magnolia Bakery in NYC and the frosting comes from Cook’s Illustrated. Together, they make an old-fashioned chocolate cupcake that is sweet enough for children but also intensely chocolate enough for adults. GET THE RECIPE

6. Classic Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting

Carrot cakes can be heavy and dense, but this one is light with a fine texture. The secret is finely chopping the carrots in a food processor rather than grating them. This recipe is perfect for feeding a crowd. GET THE RECIPE

7. Dark Chocolate Bread Pudding with Vanilla Ice Cream

Spiked with bourbon and studded with chunks of dark chocolate, this warm and chocolate-y bread pudding is the ultimate comfort food. Top it with vanilla ice cream and it’s like a grown-up brownie sundae. GET THE RECIPE

8. Chocolate Pudding Sundaes

For the young at heart dad: silky chocolate pudding sundaes topped with whipped cream and sprinkles. GET THE RECIPE

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Iraqi government-run camps struggled on Sunday to shelter people fleeing Fallujah, as the military battled Islamic State militants in the city’s northern districts.

Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi declared victory over the jihadists on Friday after troops reached the city center, following a four-week U.S.-backed assault.

But shooting, suicide bombs and mortar attacks continue.

More than 82,000 civilians have evacuated Fallujah, an hour’s drive west of Baghdad, since the campaign began and up to 25,000 more are likely on the move, the United Nations said.

Yet camps are already overflowing with escapees who trekked several kilometers (miles) past Islamic State snipers and minefields in sweltering heat to find there was not even shade.

“People have run and walked for days. They left Fallujah with nothing,” said Lise Grande, U.N. Humanitarian Coordinator for Iraq. “They have nothing and they need everything.”

The exodus, which is likely to be many times larger if an assault on the northern Islamic State stronghold of Mosul goes ahead as planned later this year, has taken the government and humanitarian groups off guard.

With attention focused for months on Mosul, Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi said in May that the army would prioritize Fallujah, the first Iraqi city seized by the militants in early 2014.

He ordered measures on Saturday to help escapees and 10 new camps will soon go up, but the government does not even have a handle on the number of displaced people, many of whom are stranded out in the open or packed several families to a tent.

One site hosting around 1,800 people has only one latrine, according to the Norwegian Refugee Council.

“We implore the Iraqi government to take charge of this humanitarian disaster unfolding on our watch,” the aid group’s country director Nasr Muflahi said.

“WE JUST WANT OUR MEN”

Iraq’s cash-strapped government has struggled to meet basic needs for more than 3.4 million people across Iraq displaced by conflict, appealing for international funding and relying on local religious networks for support.

Yet unlike other battles, where many civilians sought refuge in nearby cities or the capital, people fleeing Fallujah have been barred from entering Baghdad, just 60 km (40 miles) away, and aid officials note a lack of community mobilization.

Many Iraqis consider Fallujah an irredeemable bulwark of Sunni Muslim militancy and regard anyone still there when the assault began as an Islamic State supporter. A bastion of the Sunni insurgency against U.S. forces following the 2003 invasion, it was seen as a launchpad for bombings in Baghdad.

The participation of Shi’ite militias in the battle alongside the army raised fears of sectarian killings, and the authorities have made arrests related to allegations that militiamen executed dozens of fleeing Sunni men.

Formal government forces are screening men to prevent Islamic State militants from disguising themselves as civilians to slip out of Fallujah. Thousands have been freed and scores referred to the courts, but many others remain unaccounted for, security sources told Reuters.

At a camp in Amiriyat Fallujah on Thursday, Fatima Khalifa said she had not heard from her husband and their 19-year-old son since they were taken from a nearby town two weeks earlier.

“We don’t know where they are or where they were taken,” she said. “We don’t want rice or cooking oil, we just want our men.”

(Additional reporting by Saif Hameed in Amiriyat Falluja; Writing by Stephen Kalin; Editing by Alexander Smith)

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Unicode 9.0 is set to be finalized later this month, formally introducing a number of sure-to-be hit emojis, including bacon, selfie, face-palm, and more. Turns out, however, that a rifle was once in consideration for new emoji additions in 2016, but objection and pressure from Apple saw its removal. Apple, along with Microsoft and Google are voting members of the … Continue reading