A Toddler's Father's Day
Posted in: Today's ChiliFather’s Day started off great. I ran into Dad’s room extra early to celebrate – I couldn’t let the sun beat me to him. Mom, A.K.A. “The Fun Police” dragged me into the kitchen before I got to jump on Dad. Thankfully, Mom had Cheerios so I forgot about Dad until I realized my spoon could make a really loud noise when I banged it on the table. I knew dad would want to see this so I ran into his room and started banging on his glasses table. That woke him right up; I knew he’d be excited about this.
Finally Dad was ready to begin Father’s Day. He tried to snuggle up on the couch but I knew that wouldn’t be the best place for him. I dragged him onto the floor so we could have more room to spread out. He landed on one of my trucks. It was O.K though, he didn’t break it. Next, Dad put on his cooking show but I quickly cried and made him turn it to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse – you know, something we can all watch. That Goofy is great.
Dad wanted to go fishing with Grandpa but I knew that was just going to be too tiring for me. I cried for 29 minutes until he decided to do something else. I mean it’s better I cry at home than 1 mile out to sea right? I’m just thinking of everyone here. Mom then mentioned going golfing and I nipped that right in the bud. Seriously mom, they don’t allow two-year-olds on the golf course. Great idea, it’s like you don’t even know this man.
Mom then made plans to go out to lunch. Really? We haven’t been out to lunch in what, 2 years? We all remember what happened last time: I pooped on the highchair and you had to leave before your appetizer got there. I distinctly remember Dad saying he never wanted lunch again. Good thing I have a good memory, Mom, or this day would have been ruined.
I can’t be sure what happened between 2pm and 3pm. I think I had too much to milk and passed out. When I woke up Dad was taking a nap too so I decided to paint him a picture. While I was painting I noticed the color of my paint didn’t match the walls. I immediately started repainting the hallway since I knew Dad really doesn’t like painting the walls himself. I’m glad I could do this for him.
Dad rewarded me for my great painting by giving me a surprise bath. It was great; just two buddies hanging out, bonding. Dad really sold it with Sailors vs. Pirates. I could tell he was enjoying himself, especially when I dumped the water onto his sleeve and down the back of his shirt. It ended up being the perfect opportunity for him to put on the new shirt Mom got him. I’m not sure he would have worn it otherwise. I mean, plaid? Really Mom? I worry about you. We all know the shirt with the dragon was more flattering.
After dinner I thought it would be fun if we ran in some circles around the kitchen table while Mom cleaned up. I saw Dad was reading a story so I jumped on him and gave him our favorite book: Goodnight Moon. I figured since it was Father’s Day we should read it four times instead of three, maybe ten times, or twenty-teen. I stopped counting after a while and just yelled “again” so none of us got confused. At one point I felt something odd going on with my eyes. I knew I had to fight it off. When mom tried to put me to bed I screamed in protest. I couldn’t leave Dad to read alone on Father’s day, I’m not a monster! Dad agreed to continue reading in my bed. He has the best ideas. The last thing I remember was Dad thanking me for giving him a great Father’s Day. I knew he’d love my plans. I’d like to see Mom top this one.
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