Father's Day Reflections

On Father’s Day we celebrate, honor and remember the person who filled the role of dad in our lives. Store displays and billboards constantly remind us that Father’s Day is meant to be filled with traditional joyous family gatherings.

However, as the third Sunday of June approaches, grievers are left to ponder how this Father’s Day will be different. No matter whether it was a father, mother, grandparent, sibling, child or other someone special who died, the reality is: things won’t be the same this year.

This will be Glen’s first Father’s Day without his dad. And as a recent college graduate, he misses having his dad to talk things through with. Especially those big decisions about career and life choices. For the first time, Glen feels really angry and robbed of being able to have more time with his hero and role model. His fiancée’s offer to let Glen borrow her dad, although well meant, doesn’t lessen Glen’s emotional reactions. “I thought my dad would always be around. This is so unfair.”

Megan and her brother Justin always felt different on Father’s Day. Having two moms, they used to joke about having the morning free to do whatever they wanted since there was no dad around! Nonetheless they always made a big fuss over grandpa and wanted him to feel like a king at Father’s Day dinner. But since Justin died of an overdose, no one is in the mood to celebrate. Grandpa is going to their cousins’ and their moms want to go to the cemetery. “I never would have imagined being at a family gathering without my son and my daughter,” Rita laments. “I sometimes pretend that Justin is just busy with friends, or being obstinate. But dead?”

Ever since she was a little girl, Father’s Day had been a day for Bettye Jean and her dad to have an adventure. Wistfully she recalls, “It was our day to spend however we wanted; nothing pre-planned.” Some years they would bicycle ride for hours, or go searching for birds’ nests in the nearby woods. Once they played twelve consecutive games of Horse on the basketball court at the park. The year Bettye Jean had a broken arm they stayed home, baked a cake and decorated it with sprinkles and marshmallows.

By the time Bettye Jean was a teenager their celebrations had evolved into their simply eating a quick breakfast together, so that she could dedicate the rest of the day to homework assignments. But there was always that element of time set aside for just the two of them. “Dad was always happy just being together; that’s one thing that never changed.” Until this year. Dad’s death last September means that their fifty-six years of creating Father’s Day memories together have ground to a halt. After debating a variety of choices, Betty Jean has decided to make her Dad’s favorite dinner, look through photo albums and listen to some of his favorite music. “I think I’ll feel closer to him that way.”

No matter how recently or how long since the death occurred in your life, Father’s Day is likely to take on new meaning this year. You have choices as to what you will do. Consider balancing time with others with some alone-time…this can make the day more bearable. It can be comforting to write out a card or poem expressing your sentiments and then decide what you will do with it. Do something traditional, or create new traditions. I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

Fredda Wasserman, MA, MPH, LMFT, CT, is the Clinical Director of Adult Programs and Education at OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center, one of the nation’s most respected centers for grief support and education. Fredda presents workshops and seminars on end of life and grief for therapists, clergy, educators, and medical and mental health professionals at locations throughout the country. She is the co-author of Saying Goodbye to Someone You Love: Your Emotional Journey Through End of Life and Grief. Recognized as an expert in death, dying, and bereavement, Fredda has devoted her career to life’s final chapter.

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Cleveland's Forward Cities Council Seeks Innovation and Opportunity For All

Earlier this year the Economic Innovation Group ranked Cleveland as America’s most distressed big city. To Deborah Hoover, that means Forward Cities came to Cleveland “at exactly the right time.”

Hoover is the co-chair of the Cleveland Forward Cities Council, the group’s local advisory board, as well as the president and CEO of the Burton D. Morgan Foundation. Hoover has been engaged in promoting entrepreneurship in northeast Ohio for nearly a decade, and she says multiple other local organizations have done the same. But until recently, she says the community has “fallen short” on supporting minority-owned business ventures.

“While northeast Ohio is moving forward and a lot of really great things are happening, great things are not happening for everybody who lives in Cleveland,” she says. “We still have a lot of distressed census tracts that need our attention so that all of our residents can benefit from the economic growth that we are experiencing now.”

So when the Cleveland Forward Cities Council first came together in 2014, Hoover and her other co-chair Randy McShepard worked to identify which areas of the city most needed their help. “Initially the council was asked to identify one commercial corridor or neighborhood to focus on, but being the overzealous group that we are in Cleveland, we selected four,” said McShepard.

One of those was the Opportunity Corridor, an ongoing roadway construction project connecting the dense cultural center known as University Circle with several of Cleveland’s most distressed neighborhoods. Working with Forward Cities, representatives of the Opportunity Corridor neighborhoods developed an informational map or grid based on a model in Detroit called the “Bizgrid” which they learned about as a result of Forward Cities. This Cleveland grid helps new entrepreneurs to find access to capital, real estate assistance, and other business startup resources and support services.

Another target area was West 25th Street Corridor, a Cleveland neighborhood that includes the densest Latino population in the state of Ohio. McShepard says the community had long struggled to establish an incubator for Latino businesses. As a result of Cleveland Forward Cities’ efforts, the neighborhood was able to secure a planning grant from the Business of Good Foundation to help advance the Villa Hispanic project along.

“Small, minority-owned businesses are trying to find their way, and they just need a helping hand,” McShepard says. “We advocate on their behalf with the city, plus find ways to get them coaching, community support, civic support and help them with strategy.”

In addition to these direct efforts to promote inclusive innovation in Cleveland, Forward Cities has fostered a new sense of collaboration among the many area organizations involved in such work. Before Forward Cities came to town, McShepard says many of Cleveland’s key community organizations were divided into “silos” by type (i.e. philanthropic foundations, academic institutions, small business support organizations, etc.) But Forward Cities’ collaborative mindset has resulted in some impactful new working relationships and projects.

“The beauty of this initiative has been that it’s brought us all around the table to figure out what the problems are, and then working together to quickly respond to those problems,” McShepard says.

For example: working with the Innovation Council, Cleveland State University (CSU) recently compiled a comprehensive, up-to-date list with contact information of every minority-owned business in the city. Two days later, the resulting document was mentioned in a meeting between Cleveland Mayor Frank G. Jackson and representatives of the Republican National Committee (RNC) convention, which will take place in Cleveland in July. Encouraging the RNC to work with local minority-owned businesses, Jackson referred the RNC staffers to McShepard, who furnished them with the Forward Cities and CSU list of Cleveland area minority businesses and entrepreneurs.

“It really was wonderful that we created that list and then were able to pass it on,” McShepard says. “Had we not done that, they probably would have said, ‘Hey, we tried a couple of these lists other groups have, but the addresses weren’t valid,’ et cetera, et cetera. But thanks to Forward Cities we had an up to date, reliable list, and we hope that some of those minority businesses did get the opportunity to do business with the RNC.”

As the two-year Forward Cities project approaches its culmination this month at the Cleveland convening, Hoover says there’s still plenty of work to do. She and McShepard firmly assert that the work they’ve started with their Forward Cities Council members will continue beyond the convening.

“We’re not there yet,” Hoover says. “But I think the conversations we’re having…are getting these issues on the radar screen of more people, so more people in the nonprofit sector and the for-profit sector can really put their heads together, roll up their sleeves and do the work that needs to be done.”

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Jeffrey Sterling Completes One Year of Unjust Prison Sentence

Yesterday, June 16th, marked one year since Jeffrey Sterling began his 3.5 year prison sentence for divulging classified information to a New York Times journalist, a crime he did not commit. One year he was deprived of the freedom that so many of us take for granted every day; one year separated from his loving wife, his friends and his family, and one year of wasted talent as a licensed attorney, a former CIA case officer fluent in Farsi, and a successful investigator who uncovered over 32 million dollars in healthcare fraud.

Today we want to remind the American people that Jeffrey’s conviction and sentence were unjust and renew our appeal to President Barack Obama to pardon him.

Why has he had to suffer such an injustice? Because the United States government wanted to punish Jeffrey for blowing the whistle and for fighting for his civil rights against the CIA?

Jeffrey is a beloved husband, a brother, a friend and an honorable man who consistently worked to keep our country safe. He was one of the few African Americans to work as a CIA case officer, and he was incredibly proud of this accomplishment. But he soon became disillusioned by a work environment characterized by racial disparity and was dismayed to learn that the government he worked for was shrouded in mistruths and secrecy.

The CIA planned to use a former Russian nuclear engineer to pass flawed designs to Iranian scientists, a program that was revealed in New York Times Journalist James Risen’s book “State of War.” Jeffrey had grave concerns about the mismanagement of this program and the potential harm to the citizens of our country and so he used proper legal channels to inform the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence.

During Jeffrey’s trial, the Department of Justice was unable to present any direct evidence proving that he divulged classified information to James Risen. To convict him, the DOJ relied solely on circumstantial evidence — emails and telephone conversations — to try to prove that Jeffrey was Risen’s source. In the end, Jeffrey was severely punished for merely communicating with a journalist, which caused public outcry from press freedom organizations like Reporters Without Borders.

How did the government justify that Jeffrey was their only suspect when over 90 additional individuals had access to the same classified information and could have easily leaked it to James Risen?

As Jeffrey repeatedly made clear throughout his trial, his relationship with Risen was related to his interest in Jeffrey’s discrimination lawsuit against the CIA.

When Jeffrey was preparing for his first overseas post for the agency in Germany, his supervisor told him “we are concerned you would stick out as a big black guy speaking Farsi” and informed him that another person would be taking the assignment. When he filed an Equal Opportunity Employment complaint, the CIA fired him. Shortly afterwards he became the first African American to file a racial discrimination lawsuit against the CIA, but his suit was never allowed to go forward because the government claimed it would reveal “state secrets.”

According to the United States government, Jeffrey then “retaliated” against the CIA by leaking classified information to James Risen. The moment that the administration felt there was an opportunity to incriminate him for fighting for his civil rights, every finger pointed to Jeffrey and no amount of evidence or lack thereof could defy the verdict that followed.

Jeffrey’s case drastically differs from that of former CIA Director General David Petraeus, who pleaded guilty to divulging huge amounts of classified information to his biographer and lying to an FBI agent, far more egregious acts than Jeffrey was accused of. Yet Petraeus was able to walk away with two years probation and a fine. If one strips away the race, financial status, and political clout of each of these men, and solely compares their alleged crimes, it is glaringly obvious that this was selective prosecution and sentencing.

Petraeus’ treatment solidified the belief in this country that the white man is presumed to be innocent and can do no wrong, and at worst receives a slap on the wrist, while the black man is guilty until proven innocent and belongs behind bars. Never in the history of this nation has there been a black person who had the courage to fight racial discrimination in the CIA, and a black man in the White House that would allow him to go to jail unjustly.

Justice must be served for this mockery of the truth. Jeffrey is innocent, and always has been. Our appeal to the President to pardon Jeffrey is a request for the acknowledgment of this undeniable injustice done to Jeffrey and amends to the wrongful conviction that changed our lives forever. Please don’t forget him as he serves time for a crime he didn’t commit.

Holly Sterling
Wife of Jeffrey Sterling

Cornel West
Professor Emeritus Princeton University

To learn more about Jeffrey’s case, click here. To sign the petition asking President Obama to pardon him, click here.

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Denying Anti-Asian American Bias: The Five Stages

For me, racism directed toward Asian Americans can be less troubling than the response when Asian Americans dare to say something about it. I mean both the egregious examples, the brutal hate crimes, and the casual cruelties of daily life, the slurs and slights. I am an optimist. I do not expect to come into contact with bigotry. But even more than that, I am surprised by the pushback from friends.

Here is my test case. I have had this experience (more than once, much less than daily), and I bet many other Asian Americans, however assimilated, also have.

You are looking for a parking space. Two drivers go for the same opening. There is nothing unusual about that. It’s life in the big city — for that matter, it’s life in the suburbs too.

But then the stranger rolls down their window to shout something about Asian drivers, “go back to where you came from,” or “you know that’s not how we do it in our country.” What was simply a dispute, not all that serious, escalates into a racial encounter, and not due to any action by the Asian American individual who is involved; the other person intends to turn it into their argument for how the nation is in decline

I concede freely that I might have made a mistake — maybe I didn’t see the other person signal that they were waiting. But I assert that there is no cause for the person who wishes to confront me to fixate of ethnicity, as if that explained who should have priority or why I am the one at fault.

Or the instance that is altogether unprovoked. A car pulls up alongside you, teenagers pull back their eyes into that slant look, chant, “Ching Chong,” maybe throw garbage at the window, then shout about “Commies” as they speed off.

My point is what happens when you share these stories. We all do that. We have to process what happened. We need to “vent.”

So we tell someone when we return to the office, a co-worker. “You won’t believe what happened to me at lunch . . .”

The phenomenon is the “perpetual foreigner,” the notion that someone Asian is not a “real American,” irrespective of how many generations her family has been here, but owes loyalty to another sovereignty. We are tourists, guests, invaders, temporary inhabitants, who can, should, maybe must return elsewhere. That also is the rationale for dismissing our concerns. We lack the standing of equal citizens, and, besides, we are better off than we would be if we were back “home.”

I have found there are five stages to the reaction.

The first is denial of the facts. “No, really? That doesn’t happen, does it? Not here, not anymore.”

The person who expresses this sentiment at least implies they agree it would be not quite appropriate for someone to call you “chink,” “jap,” or “gook.” They are more comfortable suspecting your integrity than confronting contemporary bias. They are anxious to change the subject.

The second is denial of the pattern. “Well, that person is just ignorant. They don’t represent this community. I am sure it will not happen again.”

I am not sure this is much progress. That is especially so if the tone has that condescension of a metaphorical pat on the head. It suggests that there is a problem only if it is intentional and overwhelming, a vast infrastructure of racism. A person who “didn’t mean to offend you” (not sure how that is possible, but, sure, let’s give ’em the “benefit of the doubt”) or a lone miscreant is not worth further consideration.

The third segues from challenging what you have said to wondering whether it is significant. “That’s not about race, is it?”

The person who makes this move sets their standard at the indifferent end of sensitivity. They would excuse “Oriental” or “Chinaman” was colloquialisms, but even if such a term was uttered they refuse to recognize it as racial. Whatever it is, it shouldn’t be upsetting.

The fourth commits the logical fallacy of asserting if an act is not among the worst than it is not wrong at all. “That isn’t as bad as what blacks face, is it?”

In the aggregate, I do not doubt that Asian Americans are relatively privileged: measures such as housing segregation and employment disparities confirm Asian Americans are worse off than whites and better off than blacks. But a contest of suffering has no winners. In particular circumstances, an Asian American can be deprived an opportunity for a home or a job, as an African American would be. Telling that person that, in general, Asian Americans enjoy advantages is neither right nor persuasive.

The fifth brings us back to the beginning by ejecting me once again. “That’s no different than how Chinese treat Americans, isn’t it?”

I am supposed to be assuaged. It’s all the same the world over. But the analogy is not apt. The comparison should be between how Europeans treat Americans of Asian descent and how Asians treat Americans of European descent, because the category of American is not, in principle, based on racial nationalism. The cycle is repeated. It is to render equivalent how Asian Americans are treated in America, their home, as other Americans are treated in Asia, where they in fact are foreigners.

It also assigns Asian Americans as apologists for people with whom they do not have a meaningful relationship. We are allied with Asia against our will.

If all this were only about hurt feelings, then it would be unseemly to aggrieved. On the “Maslow” hierarchy of needs, we reach self-actualization and the sense of belonging after safety and food and shelter. Yet more serious incidents are driven by the same impulses as “it’s just a joke.” Attacks on Asian Americans have that common characteristic: they are expressly revenge for Pearl Harbor or Vietnam, or resentment over the success of Japan Inc. and the rise of China. Likewise government discrimination: the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 was justified by the notion the Chinese were not Christian and by nature couldn’t become Yankees; the Japanese American internment during World War II, the fear of treason; contemporary espionage prosecutions that lack probable cause, the paranoia about economic competition blended with military threat.

To be well adjusted, to cope effectively, I have trained myself. I have set my internal calibration to be sparing in calling out racial prejudice, and I’ve striven to catch it in myself and see how it affects others, especially African Americans.

In fulfillment of our ideals, I offer these thoughts for those who are sympathetic and open-minded. Perhaps other Asian Americans will be assured they are not alone.

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The 2 Dads Who Influenced Tegan And Sara's Legendary Style

It’s hard to pin down what exactly Tegan and Sara are best known for accomplishing.

Is it their persona as indie-rock identical twins who went from an adorable angsty folk duo to global pop superstar powerhouses? Is it their sarcastic senses of humor and occasional love-hate relationship with each other? Is it their hair? Is it that they’re now viewed as lesbian pioneers and — according to GQ — menswear icons?

Probably all of the above.

Tegan and Sara Quin, who grew up in Alberta, Canada, in a divorced family, have channeled their upbringing, familial tension and romantic histories into eight albums. So for Father’s Day, we wanted to know how their two dads (biological dad, Stephen Quin, and stepdad, Bruce MacDougall) influenced their style, and what they’ve learned from each.

Here’s what Sara said:

“Our dad Stephen hates clothes and especially hates shopping for them! My big takeaway was that my dad, for all his grumblings about clothing, had an effortless, messy charm that let him get by with some pretty bizarre looks over the years. The 1980s were all about jeans with band T-shirts tucked in and a battered jean jacket over top. The curly mop of hair and beard were pretty dang adorable and unkempt. These days he rocks a slouchy, casual look and continues to dress in a very unique way!”

Sara went on to talk about the other influence in their lives:

“Our stepdad, Bruce, spent most of our childhood in the 1980s and early ’90s in Bruce Springsteen tour T-shirts and leather jackets. Black Raybans ALWAYS. He and my mom loved to get dressed up on the weekend and take photos of themselves slouched up against his Camaro.”

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Finding Dory Is a Wonderful, Huge Adventure With Emotion to Spare

Finding Dory should not be a good movie. It’s a film the filmmakers didn’t want to make, starring a character who was considered a sidekick, and made more than a decade after the original—an original which was incredibly successful and award-winning, and needed no sequel. But somehow, not only is Finding Dory good, it’s great.

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Powerful New Gene-Editing Tool May Finally Be Used on Humans

Next week, a federal advisory committee is set to review a proposal to use CRISPR—the cheap, powerful and buzzy gene-editing tool
—on human patients for the first time.

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Woman Stalked By Starving Wolf For 12 Hours Survives Harrowing Ordeal

Last Friday, Joanne Barnaby went mushroom picking in a forest near Fort Smith in the Canadian Northwest Territories. It was an inauspicious beginning to what would end up being a 12-hour ordeal, one involving a desperate wolf, swarms of mosquitoes, an unwitting bear cub—and a can of beer.

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Turns Out Jena Malone's Batman v Superman Role Didn't Need All That Secrecy

For ages, Jena Malone’s role in Batman v Superman has been the source of fevered rumors
and speculation
. Most, including ourselves
, had pinned her down as Barbara Gordon, the alter-ego of Batgirl. Turns out that not only were we wrong, Malone’s character is an even more obscure comics reference than anyone could’ve guessed.

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Beijing Just Banned the iPhone 6 [Update]

In the latest chapter of bad news for Apple in China, Beijing is trying to halt the sale of the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus. The Beijing Intellectual Property Office just ruled that because the devices infringe on the patent rights of the 100C, a phone made by Shenzhen Baili that almost no one has ever heard of. Weird, huh?

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